1-800-dilaudid

[1-800-dilaudid]

skeet ulrich kinda sexy ngl 🥵

[1-800-dilaudid]

troubled - s.r.

(gif is not mine ! )

( this oneshot was also posted to my wattpad, @1-800-DILAUDID )

(( this is a female!reader x insecure!spencer reid! ))

warning: mentions of self harm, eating problems, mentions of losing a loved one, drug abuse.

word count: 1.8k

if you're suffering, please ask for help. reach out to me if you need to. my messages are always open.

please don't read if you're going through some things right now. this chapter could be very triggering to people.

he sat at his desk while you admired him. his fingers tapped as he finally realized he couldn't focus. the lunch you had bought for him sat right next to his paperwork from earlier. you couldn't help but furrow you're eyebrows at it. "spencer." you asked him. he paused as he wrote down something "yes?" he asked as he continued to write before finally looking up at you. "why didn't you eat your lunch?" you asked him.

spencer wasn't expecting the question. he looked to the sandwich before looking back to you "i-i'm sorry, i totally forgot." he lied. he didn't want to eat. it's not that he was overweight, he knew he wasn't. he was underweight. and the worst thing was that he knew others wouldn't understand.

spencer had stopped eating, or was eating as little as possible, a few weeks ago. it all started after he had found out one of his close friends had passed away. he stopped eating because he couldn't bring himself to do it. everything was so.. so bland now. he found himself drowning in his own sorrows.

his wrists got the worst part. besides the fact that he was using drugs again, he tried to cover up the fact that he had tiny little cuts all over his arms. you got up from your desk and approached him, wrapping his arm around his torso. "spencer.. please. i haven't seen you eat in a while. i'm getting worried.." you admitted as he tensed in your arms.

"i am eating." he told you with a small sigh. "but if it makes you happy.." he started as he picked up the sandwich. he took a bite and began to eat it. you felt yourself smile at the sight, ruffling his hair. "thank you spencer.. i'm going to head out now." you told him as he nodded "thank you, i'll see you tomorrow (y/n)."

————

spencer soon found himself driving home. he parked his car before climbing out of his car. spencer headed up to his apartment and unlocked his front door. he began to place down his things from the work day earlier, feeling himself getting tired by the moment. he slumped his way to the bathroom as he leaned over and began to throw up in his toilet. he knew he had a problem. he just refused to admit it.

spencer wiped his mouth and began to wash his face in the mirror as he soon finished and wiped his face. he headed to his room as he reached into his bedside table. dilaudid. he pulled out the needles and little bottles full of the drug. he tipped the bottle and uncovered the needle, slipping the syringe into the top of the bottle. he turned the bottle upside down and he began to fill the needle up. he flicked the top of the needle as he pulled it out, making sure it would work. he dug in the box to find the rubber band to wrap around his upper arm. he extended his arm and pulled up his sleeve, taking a deep breath. spencer gently pushed the needle into his arm, squeezing his eyes shut as he released the drug into his arm. "fück!" he frowned at the feeling.

once done cleaning up, he heard a small knock on the door. he couldn't help but wonder who it was. he headed over to the door and looked through the peephole. (y/n)? he unlocked the door and opened it up "(y/n)...? what are you doing here? shouldn't you be at home?" he asked. you shook your head as you held out a plate of cookies. "i thought we could..." your voice, the world, it all began to mush together as the black overwhelmed his sight.

—————

"i thought we could..- spencer? spencer you don't- oh my god!" you rushed to put the cookie plate down so you couldn't help him. the poor boy had just fainted infront of you. you held his head as you watched him twitch in your arms. apartment door still open, you reached into your back pocket to grab your phone. you unlocked it to dial 911. this all had happened so quickly.

they had arrived on scene, loading spencer into the stretcher. luckily, he was just unconscious. he still had a heartbeat and a pulse.

—————

a few days had gone by. you hadn't left his side. morgan had come by to try and convince you yesterday, but you snapped at him. you wanted to be here for spencer, and he finally gave up. you had been passed out as spencer groaned gently. he looked over to you as he shuffled uncomfortably from being stuffed with IV's. he gripped your hand gently as you jumped up "spencer?" you asked as he nodded.

"oh god.. i was so worried spencer. i knew there was something wrong, i wish you would have told me.." you told him with a small sigh. he nodded as tears began to brim his eyes "i would have told you, i just didn't want you to be upset with me. i would have told everyone." he admitted as he blinked away the tears.

you stroked his cheek "reid... don't say that. i want to be here for you." he listened as he nodded. a tear slipped down his cheek. "you don't have to be there for me. i know it's hard.." he told you as you shook your head. "i want to be here for you.. please.." you begged. you knew about the cuts, you knew about the starving. you even knew about the dilaudid, after you thought he was done with it.

"i'm sorry i wasn't there sooner reid. i just was caught up in stuff at home.. i didn't even think about it. and i wish i had known that everything was going on, i would have helped i would have tr-" you were caught off with a pair of lips placed to yours. spencer reid was kissing you. he gently pulled away, stroking your cheek "it's okay. i don't want you to blame yourself for this. i want you to know that i'm going to get help." he told you. you were still in shock from the kiss. you nodded at his words

a small knock was heard as you both whipped your heads to look at the door "am i interrupting?" morgan asked with a small laugh. you and reid exchanged glances with a smile appeared on both of your cheeks. "no, no, come in." you encouraged as derek approached the bed with a coffee. he handed it to you. you raised an eyebrow slightly "what about reid?" you asked as you looked between both of the males. "not good for him. i asked the doctor." garcia spoke from the door way as she smiled. "i did bring cookies for spencer though, i mean everyone can have some but i knew he would like them. homemade." spencer's face lit up with a smile "thank you penelope!" he told her as he moved some hair out of his face

penelope shook her head slightly "no need! i'm so happy we can be here for you." she assured him as spencer began to tear up again. garcia awed as she wrapped her arms around him. morgan joined the hug and soon enough you found yourself placing down your coffee on a table and joining the hug.

"thank you, everyone." spencer sniffled as garcia planted kisses all over his head "anything for boy wonder." and that's when laughter erupted from the room. "and thank you (y/n) for saving my life. after i overdosed and passed out from exhaustion. i wouldn't be here if you hadn't come to watch doctor who at my house. so thank you." he told you as you pulled away "don't thank me. but if you really wanted to, you could take me out on a date after this." you teased, garcia and morgan laughing slightly at the confidence.

"well i guess i might just have to thank you then," he assured with a small smirk. garcia wrapped an arm around your shoulders "i think i might need to take my girl out for shopping after this. for her special date with dr. spencer reid." she giggled, running out of the room with a smile.

"well, i think that's something to look forward to. i'm waiting to see how this plays out." morgan spoke as he patted spencer on the shoulder "i'll come around tomorrow. try and see if i can get you discharged tomorrow." he told reid as you placed a hand on his arm "no need, i'll take him home." you told morgan as he looked down to spencer "you okay with that, pretty boy?" he asked as spencer nodded. "well alright then. i'll see you when i see you." he assured, leaving the room.

you gently stroked his shoulder "get in here with me." spencer said as he looked to you "do you think there'll be enough space? i don't want-" he quickly cut you off by scooching his body to one side of the bed "get in." you felt like you had no choice. you laughed slightly as you climbed into the hospital bed with him. emily approached the room with a small smile "derek morgan requested jell-o for special patient dr spencer reid?" emily spoke with a small laugh.

you watched his face light up again as he nodded. emily brought the jell-o cup over to him and slid the tray over to sit in front of him. he picked up the jell-o cup and began to eat it as you took a sip of your coffee “thank you emily...” he mumbled out as he ate his jell-o. emily nodded with a small chuckle “why of course. jell-o for the best genius around!” she teased. you looked to spencer with a small smile.

“we will always be here for you, whether you recognize it or not. we all love you so very much. and we don’t know what we would do without you.” you assured, taking his hand into yours and placing a kiss on his knuckles. “so please don’t scare the shit out of me again. i don’t need anymore hospital trips with you.” you assured as he nodded with a smile. “i promise.” he spoke.

“thank you.”