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I almost did some drawing today.

The desire was there like always, but the will was taking shape too. I could feel it. Like it was getting ready to push my body along so I wouldn't have to drag it.

and then I Didn't.

I try to laugh about my ADHD. Sometimes it's genuinely funny. Finding unexpected clean dishes in my fridge is worth a bemused chuckle.

Sometimes it's more like...

I'm thirsty. Dehydrated. Parched, even. My tongue scrapes my mouth like sandpaper and it hurts to swallow. It's only getting worse.

The glass of water is just over there in the kitchen. All I have to do is take a drink. Just put it to my lips and tilt my head back. But before I can do that I have to grab it. Before I can do that I have to walk over to it. Before I can do that I have to stand up. Before I can do that I have to sit up. In order to do that I have to start contracting certain muscles in a specific order. To get that process rolling I need some key ingredient I seem to be missing.

I can name my problem. I can describe the pain it's causing me and tell you all about the consequences of not fixing it. I know exactly how to fix it. Hell I even want to fix it. I like the way water tastes when I'm thirsty and it'll feel so good to slake my thirst. The steps I need to take are simple and easily achievable. I mean, fuck, all I have to do is get up off the couch, walk to the other room and drink from a glass that's already filled with water. I don't even need to pour it! How lazy can I be?! C'mon. Just. Do. It. Stand up. Sit. Roll onto the floor. Anything.

But I don't do anything.

And it just goes on like that. Some things for hours. I do usually get around to drinking the water. But other things? It could be years.

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I try to laugh about my ADHD. Sometimes it's genuinely funny. Finding unexpected clean dishes in my fridge is worth a bemused chuckle.

Sometimes it's more like...

I'm thirsty. Dehydrated. Parched, even. My tongue scrapes my mouth like sandpaper and it hurts to swallow. It's only getting worse.

The glass of water is just over there in the kitchen. All I have to do is take a drink. Just put it to my lips and tilt my head back. But before I can do that I have to grab it. Before I can do that I have to walk over to it. Before I can do that I have to stand up. Before I can do that I have to sit up. In order to do that I have to start contracting certain muscles in a specific order. To get that process rolling I need some key ingredient I seem to be missing.

I can name my problem. I can describe the pain it's causing me and tell you all about the consequences of not fixing it. I know exactly how to fix it. Hell I even want to fix it. I like the way water tastes when I'm thirsty and it'll feel so good to slake my thirst. The steps I need to take are simple and easily achievable. I mean, fuck, all I have to do is get up off the couch, walk to the other room and drink from a glass that's already filled with water. I don't even need to pour it! How lazy can I be?! C'mon. Just. Do. It. Stand up. Sit. Roll onto the floor. Anything.

But I don't do anything.

And it just goes on like that. Some things for hours. I do usually get around to drinking the water. But other things? It could be years.

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If posts are like shouting into the void, tags

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Who tf is Earnest and what did he do that was so genuine and sincere we must all live in his shadow?

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Dare to dream! I can wear five (five) pairs of headphones *simultaneously* each in different head accessory slots!

My beanie is headphone. Glasses is also headphone. Inner ear airwave earbuds and outer ear bone conduction earbuds. And to top it off. Normal pair of headphones.

I can listen to an album in *minutes*

Sound bends at my will.

I’d like to see an authority figure even *try* to stop me from listening to music. They can’t even see my ears in the first place. My hair is no snitch.

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Be like water; Recognizably you no matter what configuration your constituent elements are in

I think it would be very hard to blend me, even given a sufficiently large blender.

Be unblendable.

You’re better than some measly die-cast food-grade stainless steel.

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Not only is this slab apparently not on speaking terms with purpose it's got tree's growing in it? None of these things are supposed to be here but here they are.

This slab of concrete in the middle of the woods is so.. blatant. Even just my attempt of forcing a metaphorical connection to myself is enough to relate it.

Of course this island of concrete in a sea of trees is metaphorical. I have like 5 of those in my head somewhere, At least.

Why is it here? Who put it there? What should I have for lunch? Am I hungry enough to go out somewhere instead of going straight home? Should I be better prepared next time? I wonder how many people are named cement? I think that actually sounds like a good name? I think it would have been cool if they figured out the recipe for Roman concrete before building Washington DC? I think long lasting concrete structures would add a little more credibility there right?

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It's a little fucked up that the past literally only persists in the form of its traceable effects upon the exact present moment. You would think that surely at least some little bits of the past that can't be deduced from the present state of things would nonetheless still be hanging around in some vague ghostly form, but nope! Completely gone forever! And yet however meanwhile, the present is so very rich in evidence of the past that you would think there's barely any room left for all the proper Now stuff. But somehow it all hangs together.

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If you're in the US military or National Guard, and are given an illegal or unconstitutional order, the GI Rights hotline (1-877-447-4487) is there to help give you the support you need to do the right thing by refusing it. It would be good to think about this now before it becomes a live issue for you and it would be smart of you to memorize that number.

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You gotta listen.

If you wanna help you gotta know what they need.

If you wanna make new allies you need to know what they believe and why.

If you wanna fight back you need to know your enemy.

Even if all you want is a friend it will mean so much to them to know that you're paying attention.

If you don't then... who knows what's gonna happen. You weren't paying attention.

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this isn’t autism, but when I get stressed about people not emailing me back in a timely manner, I go and make a chart of their past email response times, find the average, plot the average on my calendar, and then wait for that date to be stressed

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The real thing with ADHD is not "I forgot", but that forgetting is this ongoing process. I remembered! And then I forgot.

At ten this (hypothetical) morning I remembered that I have a meeting at six. And then from 11 through 3 I worked on other stuff and had zero thoughts about that meeting. Maybe even thought about what I was gonna do with my evening at home. Got attached to the idea of taking the time to make a good dinner, maybe play some video games.

And then at three I said, "Oh! Fuck!" and remembered again, hopefully long enough to set an alarm. And then I went to the bathroom and remembered that I need to clean the counter and spent twenty minutes cleaning the bathroom and went to get a snack and then at five I said, "OH! FUCK!" and had to scramble to dress like a real adult and get out the door.

It isn't one clean forgetting. It's a constant process of forgetting and then, with an exhausting adrenaline spike, remembering. And then forgetting. Baby, I can forget the same thing more times in a day than you ever forgot your parents' anniversary.

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Sometimes they scoop up those piles of snow and truck them over to a different, but larger, pile.

You know what I've never really seen realistically depicted in fiction? The way that people in places that get a huge amount of snow deal with said snow. Specifically in the cities. I get that it's probably not exactly an intuitive thing to think about if you've never lived in a place that gets a lot of snow, and even if you do, you probably figure that they must have some really sophisticated infrastructure systems specifically for this purpose. It's not like they'll just scoop the snow off the streets and gather it into huge piles, and then just climb over the progressively larger and larger snow piles every single year for months while waiting for the piles to melt in the spring.

We do. There's no point in planning more sophisticated systems to get rid of something that'll eventually just go away on its own. So they just pile the snow into randomly designated spaces that cars or people aren't supposed to go through, and let it pile up. There's significantly less street parking available in the winter because some spots where you could otherwise park a car are currently the parking spot of a snow pile three times taller than a car.

You get used to it. And if you grow up around here, it never even occurs to you to think of it as something strange in the first place.

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@ominous-signs

I feel it could be silly but I'm not convinced there's no glass in this pool

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I'm coming to realize how vital it is to keep a running list of shit you did in the past few weeks so that you can participate in small talk. It's literally not anything to do with them being interesting at all it's just having Something to say to give people even the barest thing to hold on to. It's so you don't get into the "what have you been up to" "nothing much what about you" "yeah same" trap. Literally just say something.

What have you been up to? Um well it's getting warmer so I've been having to brush my cat every day.

Like no it's not that interesting of a thing to say. But now they can respond to it. They could say, man yeah it really is heating up, I've been trying to think of things to do inside more often. Or, oh you have a cat? What's their name?

Like. It's Something. All you need is Something. And if you're like me and your brain immediately goes blank upon entering small talk then keeping a list will help you remember things to say.

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Do me a favour and reblog this with a show you like that was cancelled after only one season. I don't mean shows that were always meant to be miniseries or shows that work perfectly well as a standalone story, or shows that might still get renewed. I mean shows that are and will forever remain unfinished. The more obscure the better.