12woso12

[12woso12]

Angry woman

Part 3

Part 2 here

TW: Some tough topics, look after yourselves

The greatest show

It had only been a few days since the first training session with Arsenal, and the weight of the transition was still settling on your shoulders. Every minute felt like a negotiation between your past and your future—like you were caught between two worlds, neither of which felt fully like home.

But tonight was different.

Alessia had insisted that you join her and a couple of other teammates for a casual movie night. She’d been nudging you about it for days, telling you how it’d be a “fun way to get to know the girls,” and how “they’re way cooler than you think.” At first, you’d hesitated. After all, you were still adjusting to everything, still felt like the new kid. But Alessia had a way of making you feel like you were part of something bigger, something you hadn’t quite figured out yet, and she wasn’t taking no for an answer.

You walked into Alessia's apartment, palms sweating and beyond ready to run in the other direction, feeling that familiar sense of anticipation and uncertainty—like showing up to a first day of school. The girls were already there, sprawled out on the couch, the kitchen counter littered with popcorn, snacks, and takeout containers.

Victoria Pelova, or Vic as Alessia called her, was sprawled on the floor with a blanket thrown over her, sipping something from a glass with a knowing grin. She had a sly, mischievous air about her that reminded you a little of Alessia—playful but sharp. Then there was Kyra Cooney-Cross, sitting next to Vic, fiddling with her phone while her feet bounced to some rhythm only she could hear. Kyra was your age, and the second Alessia introduced you to her, you could feel the instant connection. She reminded you a little of Grace Clinton.

“Y/N, you made it!” Alessia grinned as you stepped in, pulling you into a quick hug before gesturing to the others. “Make yourself at home, I'm afraid we're watching The Greatest Showman tonight.”

You rolled your eyes, already knowing Alessia’s taste in movies. It wasn’t the first time she’d dragged you into something cheesy, but at this point, you were just happy to be part of the group.

“Just remember, I’m not responsible for any emotional breakdowns if you get too invested in the love story,” Vic teased, her accent thick and playful. She looked at you with a glint in her eye. “Are you prepared to cry?”

Kyra shot you a grin. “Oh, trust me, the real question is how many tissues you’ll go through. Vic cried the last time we watched this—what was it, the third time in a row?”

“Hey,” Vic said, raising her hand in mock defense. “That was a moment. A deep emotional experience.”

Kyra snorted. “It’s okay, Vic. We won’t judge you for being a big softie.”

You felt a grin tug at the corner of your mouth. The playful, easy camaraderie between them was infectious, and suddenly, the weight of everything else didn’t seem so heavy.

As the movie started, you sunk into the oversized beanbag chair that Alessia had pulled out for you. The smell of popcorn filled the room, and for the first time in a while, you felt like you could breathe.

Suddenly, you found yourself laughing along with the others. Kyra’s laugh was loud and uninhibited, the kind of laugh that made you want to laugh just because it was so infectious. Vic, on the other hand, was effortlessly witty, tossing in sarcastic remarks that only added to the fun.

“You’re really quiet,” Kyra said, nudging you with her elbow halfway through the movie. Her eyes were twinkling with curiosity, like she was trying to figure you out. “I thought you were suppose to be loud and angry...according to the BBC"

You chuckled lightly, not sure how to respond. After a second, you brush it off. You were fine just a little overwhelmed but it was nothing you couldn't handle.

“I'm just relaxing” you said quietly, smiling at no one in particular. “I need to get myself one of these beanbag chairs Less. I could fall asleep"

Kyra raised an eyebrow. “"Y/N, you’re basically living the dream. You just made a huge move from United to Arsenal. You’re practically a football god in this city. Ask the club to get you a damn bean bag if you want one, they'll run to your every beck and call”

You smirked but shook your head. “I'm not as important as everyone is making out, trust me"

Vic looked up from the floor, a knowing look in her eyes. “Y/N, no offence but are you always this stupid? You're easily the best player of your generation She paused as Kyra huffed but didn't object. "There's a reason clubs all over the world wanted you."

The words landed differently than you expected, like a quiet affirmation that you belonged here.

Kyra nudged you again, her grin returning. “Yeah, miss big shot. Go march into Renee's office tomorrow and demand a bean bag"

"I think i need to demand for an apartment first" you joked

The laughter that followed was easy, unburdened, and for that moment, you felt your anxiety start to slip away. You hadn’t realised how much you’d needed it—real, unscripted fun with people who genuinely liked you.

The movie had wrapped up a while ago, but no one was in any rush to leave. Instead, the room was alive with chatter, laughter, and more than a little teasing. Kyra and Vic were now in a heated discussion about whether The Greatest Showman could be considered a “true” musical or just an overhyped concert movie. Meanwhile, Alessia was curled up next to you, her eyes gleaming with amusement as she listened in on the banter.

“You know,” Alessia mused, nudging you with her elbow, “this was a good idea. You should hang out with us more often.”

You glanced over at her, smiling. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to have this much fun.”

Kyra raised an eyebrow. “Oh, trust me, we’re just getting started. I’ve got a whole list of movies that’ll make you laugh until you cry.”

Vic piped up from across the room, grinning. “And I’ll make sure to keep the musicals to a minimum. We’ll go more with the horror next time, yeah?”

“No. Absolutely not,” you said, shaking your head.

The night wound down with more jokes, more light-hearted banter, until eventually, Alessia stood up and stretched, giving you a playful nudge. “Alright, newbie. Time to hit the hay. We’ve got training tomorrow, and trust me, we’re gonna work you hard.”

“Bring it on,” you said with a grin, a little more relaxed now. “I can take it.”

After a few more laughs and goodbyes, you left Alessia's apartment. The crisp night air nipped at your skin as you stepped out onto the street, but it didn’t feel as cold anymore. The weight of your thoughts was lighter, the nagging, constant pressure that had followed you for so long now seemed distant—almost forgotten.

As you walked up the stairs to your apartment and unlocked the door, the feeling of lightness began to fade. The moment you stepped inside, everything changed.

The air felt heavier again. The room was quiet, too quiet, and as you placed your bag on the table, you felt the old, familiar weight settle back on your chest. The smile that had lingered on your lips slipped away, replaced by a gnawing emptiness.

You kicked off your shoes and walked over to the window, staring out at the lights of the town. From here, everything looked peaceful. Arsenal was a world of possibilities, of new starts, and yet—here you were, standing in the shadow of everything you’d left behind.

The memories crept in like the cold breeze that fluttered through the window cracks. They didn’t care about your new start, your new team, your new life. They were relentless, reminding you of the darkness that had clung to you for so long.

Manchester United.

David Coben.

The words were like a whisper in the back of your mind, a chill that crawled down your spine. You could almost hear his voice, taunting you, reminding you that no matter where you went, no matter how far you ran, he’d still be there, lurking in the shadows.

The sound of his footsteps echoed in your memory—the way he always found you, the way he made you feel small, like nothing more than a piece of his game. The fear, the anger, the helplessness—it all came rushing back in a tidal wave. You could almost feel the walls of the United locker room closing in on you, the suffocating pressure, the isolation.

You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to push the memories away, but it was like trying to keep the tide from flooding the shore. The darkness had followed you here.

The room felt suddenly cold, too cold, and your hands trembled as you gripped the windowsill. No, you told yourself. You’re not there anymore. You don’t have to carry this.

But no matter how hard you tried, the memories wouldn’t leave. They stuck to you like glue, tugging at your heart, your mind, like a weight that refused to be shaken off.

You didn’t want to feel this way. You wanted to be free.

You wanted to let yourself laugh, to breathe without that constant pressure. You wanted to live in the now, to savor the joy you’d found in Arsenal’s warm welcome, in the laughter of your teammates, in Alessia’s bright smile.

But then you heard the sound of footsteps in your memory again. You saw his face—the smirk that had haunted your dreams—and in that moment, you knew the past wasn’t done with you yet.

For now, you could only stand there, staring out into the town. The lights below seemed so far away, as if they belonged to a different life, a different version of you.

You turned away from the window and walked over to the couch, dropping onto it heavily. The laughter from earlier still echoed faintly in your mind, but now it seemed distant, like a dream you could barely remember.

You wanted to believe that the future, Arsenal, would give you the freedom to be someone else—to be the version of you that was happy, whole, and unbroken. But the memories lingered, lurking in the corners, waiting for you to slip up.

You didn’t know if you could ever escape them, or if you even deserved to.

But for tonight… you could at least pretend. You could close your eyes and imagine a world where the past didn’t exist, a world where the only thing that mattered was the team you were a part of now, the friends you had just started to make, and the future that might one day be within reach.

Tomorrow would come with its own challenges, but for tonight… you let yourself breathe.

You let yourself believe.

And maybe, just maybe, that was enough.

[12woso12]

Angry Woman

Part 2

Part 1 here

TW: Some deep topics, take care of yourselves

The Price of Glory

The first thing that hit you when you arrived in London wasn’t the overwhelming size of the city or the sheer volume of people swarming the streets. It was the atmosphere. The air felt thick, charged with a pulse of relentless energy. London, unlike anything you’d known up north, had a kind of frantic magic to it. The hum of it all—constant, impatient, vibrant—seeped into your bones. It was a place where dreams were built and crushed, where even the boldest ambition could feel small.

And you? You were standing at the epicenter of it all.

Arsenal.

The weight of it felt heavy. The familiar red kit, the pitch, the trainers, the glances—it was all different now. You'd swapped one uniform for another. One badge for another. You'd left behind Manchester United, your roots, your home, the club that had shaped you into what you were today. Now, here you were, a new addition to the already stacked squad of Arsenal, in a city you barely knew, carrying the legacy of a star who might not have wanted to leave, but did.

You couldn't quite tell if you were scared or excited. Maybe both.

The first training session at Arsenal was supposed to be routine. Everyone expected it to be. But nothing felt routine when you were stepping onto that pristine pitch, all eyes on you—on the former United prodigy turned Arsenal’s golden girl.

It was harder than you thought.

You tried to keep your focus, your movements smooth, but the pressure was unbearable. You'd been a part of the England squad, you'd played in finals, lifted trophies—but today, you were just the new signing. And even with the best players around you, it felt like the loneliest place on earth.

“Hey,” a voice called from behind you as you jogged back to the side of the pitch, trying to shake the tension from your limbs.

You turned, only to see a familiar face. Alessia Russo, standing there, grinning like she hadn’t seen you in years. And in a way, she hadn’t.

Alessia. You'd spent years together at United—always pushing each other to be better, always knowing exactly how to read each other’s movements on the pitch. She had been there when you were just a teenager, trying to prove yourself, trying to carry your broken pieces with the weight of the world on your shoulders.

"Look at you," she said, her smile wide and genuine. "This feels wrong, doesn’t it?" Her eyes flicked briefly to the Arsenal badge on your chest, then back to you, a glint of mischief in her eyes.

You couldn't help but chuckle. “It feels... weird. I can’t lie.”

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you kidding me? If I was in your shoes, I’d be walking around like I owned the place."

You snorted, shaking your head. “Doesn’t feel like it, though. I swear, I feel like I’m just a kid in a new uniform. How do you do it?"

Alessia shrugged. "It’s just football, right? We’ve done this before. We’ll do it again. Don’t think too hard about it."

The easy way she said it made you smile. But you still couldn’t shake that feeling. The weight on your shoulders, the knowledge that, at Arsenal, you were now expected to be more than just a player. You were the future. And that was a lot to carry.

“Alright, let’s bring it in!”

You turned to see Renée Slegers, standing at the edge of the field. A woman who had built her reputation in the women’s game as a number two under Jonas Eidevall but was now reaping the rewards of her hard work in becoming the newest manager at Arsenal after the departure of Jonas.

She was intense. She didn’t miss anything. But she was also incredibly kind.

"Everyone, gather round," Renée called again, her voice cutting through the quiet murmur of conversation.

You and Alessia jogged over, joining the others in a tight circle. Renée stood in front of you all, eyes scanning each face, including yours. Her gaze lingered on you for a moment longer than the others. She smiled, she nodded, then started to speak.

“Welcome back everyone! Now we've all returned to rainy England after our holidays we can adjust to the cold again. This year is going to be our year, Arsenal's year. I truly believe we have what it takes as long as we put in the hard work. We are a team, and that’s the only way we’ll be successful.”

There was a pause as she let the weight of her words hang in the air, you study the other players who you were yet to have a proper conversation with. They were a real mix of people, from your captain at England to Amanda Illested who was just returning from pregnancy. They all looked united in the cause, Renee's cause.

Your eyes flicked to Alessia, who was watching you with an almost imperceptible nod, a reminder that you were no stranger to pressure. You’d been under pressure for years. A kind of pressure that not even Alessia knew about.

Renée’s eyes settled on you once more. She seemed to read the uncertainty in your posture, the way you were holding back.

"You’re a star Y/N L/N and we can't wait to work with you" she said, her voice warmer now, “ Welcome to Arsenal.”

There was a belief in her words that made you stand a little taller, a little straighter. For a second, the weight on your shoulders didn’t feel so heavy.

Renée stepped back, eyes sweeping across the group once more before adding, “Let’s get back to work."

You were still trying to absorb the intensity of that moment when Alessia bumped her shoulder against yours. "Don’t worry, you’ll be fine. I know you." She grinned again, that familiar spark of mischief in her eyes. "You’ve got this."

But you knew what she meant. She knew you. All of you. The raw talent, the fire, and the mess of emotions you carried with you. She had seen it before. The only thing she didn't know was the abuse, and you weren't about to tell her anything. Alessia might be like an older sister to you, but if she ever found out what you had let David Coben do to you then she'd abandon you in disgust. You were sure of it. It was what David had always told you.

"Yeah," you muttered, more to yourself than anyone else. "I can do this. Now i'm out of United, i have no reason to be angry anymore"

After the session, as you made your way to the locker room, there was a new kind of buzz in the air. A few players came up to you, offering their hands and welcoming you like you’d always been part of the squad.

“Hey, it’s so good to have you here!” Kim Little jogged up to you, the captain yet to take an opportunity to welcome you "If you need anything then don't hesitate to ask ok?"

You smiled, trying to keep the nerves at bay. “Thanks. I’m still getting used to everything.”

“Kid, you're world class, trust me.” she added sensing your hesitance, her smile warm. “I'm just glad we nabbed you off United before you carried them to the top of the league”

You heard a friendly laugh from behind and Leah Williamson flung an arm around your shoulder. You’d played against her for years, both with England and in club football, and despite her composed, professional exterior, she always had a knack for putting people at ease.

“Good to see you,” she said, squeezing you tightly to her side. “We’ve got a some great girls here. You’re going to love it.”

“I’m excited," you replied, your voice a little steadier.

Besides Leah stood Beth, who had that twinkle in her eye, the one that always made you laugh, even on the toughest days.

“You’ve no idea how much we need you,” Beth grinned, slinging an arm around your other shoulder in a friendly, no-nonsense way. “We’re all going to have so much fun.”

“Yeah, but you better not be slacking, or I’ll drag you through a few drills you won’t forget,” Leah teased, the captain qualities in her bubbling to the surface.

You couldn’t help but laugh. For all the uncertainty you’d felt before, now you were surrounded by the kind of camaraderie you hadn’t experienced in a while. There was no pretense here, no judgment. Just teammates, genuinely happy to have you on their side.

Alessia grinned and leaned toward you. “See? Everyone's excited that you're here” You wouldn't exactly call your England teammates, who'd you'd played with since you were 19, everyone on the team but you appreciated the sentiment.

It was a weird feeling, being surrounded by a squad and staff that you felt at ease around. You'd spent so long at United, so long walking its walls with fear that you never quite realised the freedom you were missing. You experienced it at England camps, of course. But to have it at club level too? You felt a little spoilt.

The change was surreal, but somehow, it felt right.

For the first time that day, the weight on your shoulders didn’t feel like a burden. You had a team behind you. And maybe—just maybe—this new chapter might be the one where you stopped being so angry.

That night, in your hotel room, you found yourself staring out at the sprawling town below, your reflection faint in the glass. St Albans was where all the Arsenal players set up residence, even the mens team. And until the team at Arsenal finalised your apartment, they had set you up in a cute hotel in the centre of town. The lights of the town were far more beautiful than the dark thoughts swirling in your head. You tried to push them away, tried to focus on the exciting weeks ahead, but they always came back. That shadow.

You had ignored it for so long. Everything at United had become normal, letting David Coben do those unthinkable things to you had become normal. You had left United's locker room horrors behind but even now, standing here in a new kit, in a new city, you knew the world was waiting for you to slip up.

The United fans, the ones who had once loved you most, were now dreaming of your downfall.

The media, the pouncing journalists, were just waiting for your next red card. Ready to spin a pun with your newest on pitch drama.

You sometimes wonder that if the world knew, if they found out about the sexual abuse, whether people would finally see why you were the way you were. They'd understand your anger and your decision to move clubs.

But you couldn't tell anyone. David Coben may have let you leave United but he'd never let you tell the world. Besides, you were ashamed, embarrassed and felt a whole other bundle of emotions that you weren't ready to unpack yet. In your head, escaping United would let you leave all that behind but the thing about running from your past is that it never lets you go.

You thought about your boyfriend for a moment, Lucas Riley, the world's most beloved pop star. No one on the outside world knew exactly what you were to each other but for a year now the two of you had been official. You never told Lucas about David either. You felt awful of course, like you were cheating. But you'd just wanted to have one normal relationship in your life. You didn't want to associate sex with fear and discomfort. Lucas had been a way out of that. And now you were at Arsenal he definitely didn't need to know. The past was the past.

You loved Lucas...didn't you? But he would remain in the dark. He was constantly away with his band and didn't need something else to worry about. He was the only thing in your past that you were still holding onto.

Maybe Arsenal was the fresh start you needed.

Or maybe it was just another step in the same long, dark journey.

Either way, you couldn’t stop now.

And, at least for tonight, you wouldn’t try.

You were a Lioness.

And Arsenal was your new pride.

[12woso12]

Angry Woman

Part 1

TW: Does have some very heavy topics so look after yourselves and don't read if you don't want to

You were 21 years old and completely new to London. Having grown up in the North of England, everything felt backwards...including Arsenal. At 15 you were Manchester United's wonder kid. You were scoring goals for the senior team at a rate that no teenager had managed before.

The day of your 18th birthday you captained the U21 Lionesses in a European final and scored the winning goal. And at 19 you made your senior Lionesses debut.

Defenders hated you.

Forwards wanted to be you.

And your fans?

Well, you weren't sure if they wanted to be you, screw you or take you out for coffee. You were on the front page of every newspaper in the UK, whether you were modelling, showing off your football prowess or caught in public with your popstar boyfriend, the public rarely ever escaped your face.

When you made the shocking transfer from Manchester United to Arsenal, the entire footballing world halted in its tracks. You were United's star pupil, if fans were shocked at Alessia's transfer, then they were in utter disbelief at yours.

You would have died for United.

You walked through hell to wear that red shirt every week.

Literal hell.

From the outside you were golden. Everything about you shone passion and potential, you were praised at each turn, awarded with each goal or neat piece of trickery. The only thing missing from your game was an ability to control your temper. It wasn't as if you were a mean person, you wouldn't hurt people maliciously. You just...lost control.

The media gave you some lenience when it came to your rage. The tabloids blamed it on your unstable childhood, bouncing around foster home to foster home with no real family to call your own. Pundits could be a little harsher on you, the older you got the more they would criticise your inability to reign in your rage on the pitch. It had been okay when you were a hormonal teenager, but now at the ripe old age of 21, you were picking up a lot of heat for it.

You never really bothered to listen to the voices outside your bubble at United. Sure, you were a little more enthusiastic on the pitch than was acceptable but it was your only outlet. Football was your only source of therapy, your only way of forgetting what was going on away from the pitch.

Your anger didn't come from your fucked childhood.

It didn't originate from a dead family or a famous boyfriend who snuck around behind your back.

Your anger came from a place much darker.

Hell.

To you, United behind closed doors was hell.

It started the moment you begun to get senior minutes at United. You were barely 15 and still wore thick braces, the kind of braces you would see the high school nerd get bullied for in American coming of age movies. Looking back, that's what confused you most. How could someone like that be so interested in someone like you?

He was a god. A saviour. A husband. A father.

David Coben was 45 years old when he first touched you. And he was 51 when you finally stood up to him. He used to tell you that you were special, that you wanted him to touch you, to do things to you that no one had done before. He prayed on a vulnerable girl with no family to protect her. At first you screamed and cried and tried your hardest to avoid him... but he never failed to find you. Whether it was in a private corridor after a match or in the isolation of your hotel room on away days. David Coben always found you. And worst of all, he always got what he wanted.

If you refused, he'd tear up your contract with United himself, that's what he told you. And at 15 years old without having built a strong name for yourself it seemed impossible to leave United for something more successful.

So, you stayed.

And you told no one.

You became a star, a constant talking point in woman's football. Your fame shot to new heights when you started to date a pop star and that's when the modelling jobs began to pour in.

And suddenly, you were rolling in money.

But you still took everything that David gave to you. And then you took it out onto the pitch and gave the world a new talent to obsess over. The older you grew, your game became better but your anger became near catastrophic. It wasn't until you finished a season with 5 red cards and a serious telling off from Sarina Wiegman at your latest England camp that you decided enough was enough. You couldn't do it anymore. You had to say no.

That's when you moved to Arsenal.

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 6

Part 5

You're reconsidering your move to Arsenal after they give you a set of rules to abide by + KCC appearance?

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 5

Written without the use of social media! Enjoy, I'll be back with more parts involving the use of social media soon!

Part 4

You were nervous. Disgustingly nervous. As much as Laia had tried to reassure you, you couldn't seem to shake the apprehension of meeting with Renee. You knew the meeting wouldn't guarantee you anything, and maybe that was the terrifying part. Since Barcelona had let you go to Arsenal your future had seemed secure and final, you would sign for Arsenal and work your way back into the England squad.

You would show the world you were more than the drugs.

You would finally get your act together.

You would live up to the world's expectations of you.

But now, as the future was suddenly upon you, uncertainty rattled your goals. What if Renee decided you weren't a good fit? What if you spent the entire season on the bench? What if they asked you about the drugs? What would you say?

When the pictures had been released by the press, you were taken by surprise with the lack of confrontation by your teammates. Even Alexia, who was incredibly protective, had shown you nothing but love and understanding. She hadn't raided your apartment in an attempt to confiscate any drugs you were hiding, she hadn't shouted or screamed or sent you to rehab.

The first thing she did was give you a hug.

The kind of hug mothers might give their child.

The kind of hug you want to live inside forever.

Alexia had sat with you at your apartment for the evening and cooked you dinner. She didn't once ask you about the drugs. Part of you thought she already knew everything she needed to anyway, Alexia wasn't a stranger to the horrifying stories about your childhood that you let slip when drunk or feeling particularly vulnerable.

You were a bit of a mess and Alexia took that in her stride. Admittedly, you had tested her limits by going to Ibiza amid the news that Barcelona weren't prepared to keep you on. But what's a girl going to do except party her feelings away?

Although you'd been expecting it, the England news hit you the hardest. What killed you the most was how you didn't hear from any of your lioness teammates - Leah had only gotten in touch because of her captain duties. You had expected a text from Grace or Aggie at least but nothing had come to fruition. Keira had taken you out for coffee a few days after the news broke but when the FA advised her to keep a distance until media attention died down it became clear that you were being isolated.

It sucked. But you understood. The trajectory of woman's football was precarious and disjointed, your use of drugs wasn't exactly doing the Lionesses' image any good.

So now you were sharing a house with Laia in a boring English town waiting for the most important meeting of your life. It was about now that you could really use a hit of a certain something.

'You ready Kiddo?' the older spaniard brought you back from panicked thoughts and into her living room. 'Vamos!' She ruffled your hair and led you outside into the cold cruelty of British weather.

'Is the drive long?'

Laia shrugged '20 minutes. Now come on and get in the car, I promised Ale I'd get you to the meeting on time'

Laia was right. The drive was easy and before you could even comprehend it, you were parked at the Arsenal training ground and following Laia like a sheep inside. Colney was something quite spectacular, the history of the club clung to its walls like a moth to a flame. The faces of legends took up the main hallway accompanied by trophies and stories of the invincibles that made your jaw drop in awe.

'I had the same reaction' Laia grinned at you 'Arsenal is worth the cold weather, trust me' She pointed to a door at the end of the corridor and gently shoved you forward. 'That's the meeting room, good luck!'

Palms sweaty and mouth dry, you slowly approach the door and feebly knock. It only takes a second for the door to swing open and the welcoming face of Renee Sledgers to appear, she paused for a second and you squirmed under her intense gaze before she reached for your hand.

'It's good to officially meet you, Y/N'

'Yeah you too. Thanks for inviting me' You let her pull you inside the room and direct you to a seat across a round table. Once Renee is settled opposite you, she smiles at you reassuringly.

'So, we've got a lot to talk about. I've been given permission by our development manager to start some early contract discussions with you. It's clear that you're a fantastic player, Y/N. I'm not sure if i've ever seen a player with as much natural talent as you'

'Thanks'

'And that's why you're here today. Because if i'm being honest, your life style outside of football isn't something that we particularly want to bring to the club and its taken a lot of convincing to even set up this meeting today'

You were shocked at the woman's bluntness but appreciated it all the same. You were lucky to have a fantastic left foot. 'I know, i really appreciate being here'

'If you were to sign with us, there would be specific rules and guidelines you'd be required to stick to. Is that something you would be able to do?'

'Depends'

Renee sighed. 'That isn't the enthusiastic answer that i was hoping for Y/N'

You pinched yourself at your unwillingness to show even an ounce of committal. What the hell were you doing? Just say yes.

'Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Just... what type of guidelines would you be referring to?'

'Well, we don't have anything ironed out just yet but you would need to provide a monthly negative drug test. The rules will only be in place to benefit you, you're hoping to get recalled to England no?'

'Yeah of course' You said

'Then these rules will help you get there.'

For a second, you heard the cries of Wembley infiltrate the room. You could practically feel the way the crisp pitch would slide beneath your boots in front of a sold out crowd. You could smell the sweat, blood and tears of your teammates as they gave it their all on the pitch. Nothing in the world compared to that feeling. Nothing.

And to get it all back? Well that would mean everything.

'I want to get back to England' you whispered

Renee nodded sadly 'I know. So let us help you and in return, you help us. Bring your talents to Arsenal, we want you but only if you're willing to do the work.'

'I am' You confirmed. 'What happens now?'

'Well i'll recommend to the board that we go ahead with the transfer then our team will send you a mock-up contract. It'll contain all the normal legal jargon alongside those rules we talked about. Then, once all the specifics are ironed out, we'll get you in for an official signing. How does that sound?'

Daunting, you thought. It sounds fucking scary. 'Good to me'

Renee broke out into a smile. 'I'll be in touch tomorrow and until then, enjoy a few days rest'

'I will, thanks Renee' As you got up to leave the Arsenal manager caught your attention a final time.

'Y/N? Don't do anything to put yourself in jeopardy, ok?'

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 4

I'm thinking about writing out part 5 instead of just using social media posts so the story can develop a little more. And from then onwards using a mix of social media and physical writing, what do you guys think?

Part 3

You move to London

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 3

Part 2

You get approached by Arsenal as you struggle to adjust to the consequences of your actions

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 2

Part 1

You're sold. And it's nobody's fault but your own.

[12woso12]

No Control - Part 1

Told through social media, enjoy!

Barca decide to part ways with their troubled 'kid wonder' after you were caught partying a little 'too' hard on your nineteenth birthday. You're shipped off to Arsenal for a new start under the watchful eye of your national captain and her friends.

TW: Drugs, mental health, family issues. Look after yourselves

Edit: First pic been having a little trouble uploading but it's not super essential to the story

[12woso12]

The North Stand

Something a little different from my Dorothy in North London series, but don't worry, that's coming soon! If you have any requests for One Shots then just let me know!

You and your twin brother were referred to as Barca's wonder twins. He was a prolific striker for the men, and you a fearsome defender for the women's team. When your brother died tragically at an away game after colliding head first with a goal post, you leave Barcelona behind for the red and white of Arsenal.

When you have no choice but to return to the scene of the accident for a match, you insist it doesn't bother you. In reality, you're dying inside.

TW: Death, Mental Health

It was 6pm on a Friday when you first discovered you were needed at Anfield. Originally, the club had planned to leave you in London for the match despite your assurance to Jonas that you were completely fine.

It had been 14 months since he'd died.

14 months since your twin had been ripped from existence, stolen from you in one reckless moment of football. All for a stupid game.

A stupid goal.

A stupid league.

Football was so trivial now. Winning trophies would never outshine the feeling of sharing a drink with your brother. Playing in the Champions League would never live up to the memory of opening your stockings with him on Christmas morning.

Before his death, you would've given anything up for football. But now you'd give up football in a heartbeat just to speak to your brother once more. You were stuck in what had once been a dream career with only the memories of your brother to cling onto.

It seemed silly to ever think that you needed to give up everything for football. If anything, football owed you. It had taken away your other half. You couldn't even look at a Barca shirt, let alone watch a game without withdrawing into your bed for days at a time with the face of your brother fresh behind your eyes.

It had taken you a week to decide to leave Barcelona after his death. The noise around the entire situation was so loud. Fans had found your address and were leaving their condolences in the form of flowers and teddy bears at your doorstep, there was a televised tribute to him at Camp Nou where thousands of fans tuned in to grieve. Alexia had tried to convince you to attend but instead promised to attend for you after seeing your vulnerable state.

It was a touching tribute, not that you had watched it.

Within a month of the tribute at Camp Nou you had fled the country. Alexia had tried to understand, she really had, but her heart ached at your departure knowing that she'd failed in fixing your pain.

Arsenal was a good change. You already had friends there in the girls who played for England and you integrated well into the found family they'd developed at the club. At first, they'd tried to get you to speak about your brother, they tried to get you to show even an ounce of emotion surrounding his death but you had completely shut that part of yourself down. Instead you reverted to your old self. The person you were before the accident.

You cracked jokes with Beth and cooked tacos with Alessia in the evenings. You spent hours learning from Leah and took up pranking Kim and Steph in your free time. Kyra became one of your best friends and you moved in together after only a month.

Life at Arsenal was good, great even. It allowed you to breathe. You'd gone 14 months ignoring your grief and if you had it your way, you'd go the rest of your life without having to deal with it. But now, with Wubben-Moy and Codina out with injuries and Katie Reid away with England youth, Arsenal were asking the world of you: You would need to resume your usual role as a starting centre back alongside Leah.

Your brother had died in Anfield stadium. Now you'd be treading the very grass where'd he spent his last seconds alive.

'I'm so sorry to have to do this, Y/n' Jonas' voice rippled through the phone. You gripped it tightly, knuckles white to match the pale of your face. It was your own fault they were asking you really, you had just spent the last two weeks convincing that team that you'd be okay to play if needed.

'It's alright, Jonas. It's no biggie' You croak out. You could hear him sigh down the phone and you pictured his furrowed eyebrows lacing together in concern.

'Is Kyra home with you?' he asked. 'Do you need me to send Leah so you can have some company?'

'Jonas i'm okay, i promise'

'If you need someone to talk to you know our psychologists are fantastic...'

You shook your head furiously. 'I'm fine. I'll be at Colney first thing tomorrow to travel up with you guys'

'Okay.' he didn't sound convinced. 'Make sure you get some good sleep and i'll see you tomorrow'

As soon as Jonas ended the call you threw your phone across the room. It slammed into the wall opposite and clattered to the floor next to laundry that you were yet to put away. It wasn't usual that you got angry but sometimes it felt as though it were the only way to keep all your other emotions in check.

If you cried over your brother, you didn't think that you'd ever stop. You thought you'd be fine to play at Anfield but now it was actually happening, now that it was more than a distant horror, you'd never felt fear like it.

'Y/n?' You jumped at the sound of Kyra approaching your open bedroom door. You gave her a weak, unconvincing smile as her eyes flickered to the dent in your wall. It wasn't often that Kyra saw you as anything other than happy, sure she'd seen you upset after a loss or run down with illness but you'd always held her at arms length when it came to your brother.

It wasn't personal. You did it with everyone.

'Are you alright?' Kyra tiptoed into your room and hesitantly took a seat besides you on your bed.

'Jonas called' you tried to sound casual but the shake in your voice didn't go unnoticed by your best friend. 'I'm playing on Sunday, Codi got injured'

Kyra was silent for a moment before she gently placed a hand on your shoulder. 'You don't want to play?'

You shrug. 'Yes. No. I don't know.'

'That's alright, you don't need to be sure of anything right now' For someone known for her childish antics, Kyra had moments of maturity.

'I thought I'd be fine.' You cleared your throat. 'I will be fine'

Kyra slung her arm around your shoulder and pulled you in close. 'Just know that we'd all understand if you weren't'

You knew she was delicately skirting around the topic of your brother, not quite wanting to broach it but not wanting to let it go either. You felt vulnerable with Kyra, as though she saw straight through your closed facade.

'I just want this weekend to be over.' You squeeze her hand lightly 'Then everything will be okay again'

Kyra sucked in a deep breath. 'You never talk about him, you know.'

Black dots suddenly swarmed your vision. 'I can't Ky, I just can't'

'Okay' she said simply pressing a light kiss to your forehead. 'But if you ever have a moment, even a second, where you think you can then i'll be here'

You didn't get much sleep that night. Nor did you manage to eat anything. Time passed slowly as you tossed and turned in a patch of nervous sweat. You hated how emotional you were feeling, you didn't want it. You didn't need it. It was 3am when you eventually climbed out of bed to find Kyra in her own. As though sensing your presence, she opened her eyes slightly and shuffled over before pulling you down besides her.

It was a routine performed many times before.

Her quiet comfort let you sleep until dawn.

You were silent on the coach ride the following morning. You sat at a table of four with Kyra opposite Less and Vic who kept taking concerned glances at your abnormal state. You crossed your legs beneath you and tried to focus on the pile of cards you'd just been dealt. Normally, you were the champion of rummy but now you just couldn't focus enough to care. The only thing that had been running through your mind since you woke up was your brother's face.

His face on tv as he clattered into the post, ball flying well over his head. His face as blood poured from his hairline. His face as the life left his eyes. Just like that.

He'd died just like that.

Everything he'd ever loved and lived for gone. Just.Like.That.

You'd never felt pain like it.

That's why you had shut it out when you came to Arsenal. You threw yourself into your new life hoping that eventually the pain would dissipate but it hadn't, not even the tiniest bit. Instead it seemed to grow, every time you were reminded of your twin the lump in your throat evolved and the agony in your heart rattled loudly against your rib cage.

As you studied your cards, you locked eyes with Leah who sat besides Kim on the isle opposite. She had been keeping one eye on you since the beginning of the journey and you couldn't help but feel annoyed. Leah had taken you under her wing when you'd first moved to Arsenal having known you well from England but these past few days you'd withdrawn from her completely. You didn't want to give Leah the opportunity to ask if you were okay, because once she did you weren't sure you'd be able to hold yourself together.

It was late afternoon by the time the coach arrived in Liverpool and you were on an important hunt for food when Leah finally managed to corner you in the hotel reception.

'Hey' she grabbed your shoulder gently as you attempted to make a get-away. 'We need to talk'

'About what?' you said nonchalantly

Leah rolled her eyes. 'Don't, Y/n. I'm really worried about you. You shouldn't be here, why did you agree to play?'

'I'm fine Le. It's just another game.'

'No, it's not.' she bluntly reminded you 'At least not for you it isn't.'

Your heart was pounding so violently that you thought it might leap out from inside your chest. 'Can we please not do this?' You glance around the empty reception nervously, afraid of who might overhear the conversation.

'Go home, Y/n' Leah instructed as though she had any say in the matter.

You scoff at her brashness. 'No, who else is going to be able to play in place of Codi?'

'Steph would. We'd find answers' Leah said

'Steph hates playing Centre Back'

'It doesn't matter. She'd do it for you Y/n.'

You hated when Leah treated you like a kid. You weren't that shy seventeen year old on your first England camp anymore, you had outgrown the way she saw you.

'Leah stop. I don't need your help with this. I'm fine'

'You aren't fine' your captain argued 'You haven't been fine since moving to Arsenal and we all know it...you never talk about Ben'

At the mention of your brother's name, your brain seemed to short circuit. You stared incredulously at Leah, no one had dared to mention his name to your face in 14 months. Leah might've been the closest thing to family that you had but she had no right to bring up your brother in the way she had.

'Fuck you' You spat furiously and pulled away from Leah who gritted her teeth at your disrespect, looking slightly hurt. You strode away from Leah and into the lift, abandoning your hunt for food for the comforts of your hotel room where you'd remain for the remainder of the evening. You were glad to see that Leah made no attempt to follow you, although deep down a part of you ached for her comfort. But you didn't need her. Not really. As soon as the weekend was over you would apologise and things could go back to the way they were before where you weren't reminded of your brother's death at every waking moment.

Leah would understand. At least, that's what you hoped.

You sent Kyra a quick message to explain you were having a quiet evening and that you'd see her tomorrow and then locked your hotel door for the night.

You were fast asleep when you became vaguely conscious of a knocking at your door. Exhausted, you opened your eyes to glance at the time as the knocking persisted. It was only 10pm. Sighing you stumbled to your feet and dragged open the hotel door to see Kim staring you down, a stern look stretched upon her face.

'Good to know you're alive' she barged into your room before you had a chance to welcome her inside. She grimaced at the mess of clothes on your floor before turning to face you.

'I texted Kyra' You grumbled

'Sit down' Kim demanded

'What? Why?'

The Arsenal captain crossed her arms and waited for you to do as she said. Slowly, you lowered yourself back down onto the bed.

'Leah told me what happened'

You sighed 'It's not what it seems like'

'You need to let someone help you. You're struggling and you need help.' Kim watched as you shook her head and fixed your eyes on the ground.

'I'm fine'

'Don't bullshit me.'

'I'm not.'

Kim rolled her eyes. 'I don't know why you agreed to come, but you have nothing to prove Y/n. It's okay if you're still grieving, it's okay to be devastated, it's okay to feel these things. But what isn't okay is for you to push away the people that care about you.'

You said nothing.

'You don't need to speak to me about whatever is going on in your head but at least talk to Leah. Or Kyra or Less. Hell, the whole team is in your corner. You're going to end up in a dark place without paying into those relationships, okay kid?'

Kim put a finger beneath your chin and lifted your eyes to meet her own. You were beginning to crack under her harsh but ever caring gaze, a tear made its way down your cheek and Kim gently wiped it away.

'I'll apologise to Leah' you whispered 'After the game'

Kim hummed in disapproval. 'I'd rather you didn't play at all'

'Too late now'

'It's not' Kim countered 'But if you're really going to play then do it safely. Don't commit any dangerous fouls triggered by emotion and if you need to stop or get off the pitch then you tell me straight away, okay?'

You nodded compliantly. 'Got it'

Kim pulled you in for a hug before leaving you to your thoughts. You'd never get any sleep now.

The following day the match approached quickly. You spent the morning with Kyra, avoiding the older players as much as possible. Even on your team walk, as Kyra rushed off to prank Steph, you hung back with Vic as you watched Kyra drench Steph with a bottle of water - something that you would usually be involved in too.

And when you arrived at Anfield after lunch, you opted out of doing a pitch inspection with the rest of the girls who exchanged worried glances. Leah hung back in the changing rooms with you under the guise of needing to do a few exercise for her knee when in reality you knew she was only trying to keep an eye on you. As the team news was announced and the internet started buzzing at the knowledge that you'd be playing at the very pitch where your brother had died, you did nothing but sit and wait.

From the changing rooms, the fan chants could be heard loudly. It was clear that the Arsenal fans had eclipsed the turnout of those of Liverpool which came as no surprise. You sat in your cubby and tapped you foot to the tune of Lacasse's newest and, in your opinion, greatest fan chant yet. You felt strangely calm, at least calmer than you had done last night.

You were eager to get the match under way because as soon as it was over, you could get back to your North London bubble. The thought made everything a little easier and as you jogged onto the pitch for warm up you instinctively turned away from the end of the pitch where your brother had died. Luckily, Arsenal were warming up on the opposite side which you were almost certain Leah and Kim had planned. You breezed through your warm ups by keeping your head down and ignoring the pitiful gazes that staff members kept sending your way.

And no matter what, you didn't dare look toward the North stand.

Before you knew it, kick off was upon you. You stood besides Leah and took a knee at the first blow of the Ref's whistle. For the first half, Arsenal faced the pitch end that your brother had died at. You tensed each time the ball was crossed into the box and one of your teammates (namely Alessia) tried to put their head to it.

Ben had died trying to do the exact same thing. You felt as though you could throw up any second.

By the time half-time rolled around you were both mentally and physically exhausted which wasn't exactly a promising sign considering Arsenal were 3-0 up. You and Leah had worked seamlessly together to protect your goal but that didn't mean you hadn't given the occasional sloppy pass or let Kiernan slip by you one too many times.

You were playing well but everyone could tell that you were trapped inside your own head. Even the fans, who had been applauding you extra loudly all game, could be seen nervously watching you handle the ball with a lack of precision. And yet Jonas didn't take you off.

As you made your way out for the second half, Katie wrapped an arm around your shoulder and gave your hair a light ruffle.

'You're doing good, mate. Almost up. Then we can get the hell out of this shitty stadium' she gave you a smile of reassurance before running off into her position and you couldn't help but grin at the Irish woman's ability to always try and make light of a situation.

You kept your eyes away from the goalpost that had killed your brother as you stood less than 10 metres in front of it. Leah's eyes flickered nervously over to you as you fidgeted uncontrollably waiting for the whistle to blow. It was an artic day in Liverpool yet you felt as though you were sweating buckets, your legs felt like jelly as the second half finally got underway.

Deep in your chest, as Liverpool pressed high, you felt an overwhelming amount of grief. You were too close to the goal, too close to where Ben had taken his last breath. Everything was too close and you felt as though you were going to collapse from the weight of it all if you were made to take one more step toward the goal.

So, you did what you knew how to do best...You turned the grief into intense anger. As play progressed it was clear that your tackles were becoming riskier by the minute, you barrelled into poor Missy Bo Kearns around the 60th minute mark who fell to the floor clutching her leg in agony. You were fortunate to only receive a yellow card.

As the match drew to a close and you managed to keep a clean sheet, Liverpool took one last go at attacking in the 91st minute. The play was started by Taylor Hinds who managed to get the ball through Arsenal's experienced midfield and onto the foot of the striker. Without thinking, you swiped the ball out from under her legs and gained possession back to your own side. However, Liverpool's number 9 had fallen to the ground in the tackle and was dramatically flailing about.

'Get up, you're fine' You insisted at the girl. When she refused to move you grabbed her biceps and tried to forcefully remove her from the grass, much to her surprise. The girl pushed you away from her.

'What the hell y/n?' she yelled capturing the attention of the teammates around you. As the ref blew her final whistle and the stands erupted in celebration at Arsenal's win, you ignored it all and advanced on the girl.

It had all been too much. And this girl was providing you with the perfect opportunity to let your anger out properly. You shoved her backwards.

'What are you doing?' Leah's voice was suddenly in your ear, her arms wrapping around your torso in an attempt to restrict you access to the poor Liverpool player. Katie appeared by your side and began to shield you from the abuse the Liverpool team had now began to shout at you...but it wasn't as though you didn't deserve it.

Leah dragged you backwards as you thrashed around in her grip, still trying to get to the Liverpool player. Eventually, Leah got you into the tunnel and haphazardly shoved you into the nearest empty room that she could find.

'Are you out of your mind?' Leah exclaimed 'You can't be starting fights like that! You'll be lucky if the FA doesn't fine you!'

'I don't care about the goddamn FA, Leah! Fuck them.' you try to advance on the door but Leah blocks your way.

'You're not leaving this room until you calm down'

Your brain was running at a million miles per hour, all you could think about was how much you needed to punch something or else you were going to break. You lunged past Leah but she was too quick and way stronger than you. She grabbed your entire upper body in her arms and held you against her chest, your head beneath her chin.

'Stop Y/n' she breathed 'It's okay'

For a moment, time slowed. You tried to escaped Leah's grip, you really did. But there was something about the way she was holding you with so much care and concern that you suddenly went lip in her arms and finally let out a gut-wrenching sob. As your legs collapsed, Leah carefully lowered the two of you to the floor so you were positioned between her legs. Your sobs racked your entire body, the pain in your chest had broken out and had been set free after 14 long months.

Leah placed small kisses to the top of your head. She rubbed your arms in comfort and never stopped whispering words of reassurance. When you were still sobbing fifteen minutes later she only pulled you tighter into her chest and folded her legs over your own.

'I've got you' she assured you.

Part 2?

[12woso12]

Need to see a bond with Alessia Russo in Dorothy lands in North London🤞🏻

Will do! Don't worry Alessia is going to becoming a main part very soon :)

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London- Part 7

Part 6

It's announcement day for our newest team member! Another part focusing on social media :)

arsenalwfc

alessia and 98,000 others liked

arsenalwfc Guess who?

View all comments

GunnerMead We already know its Y/n admin

Foordy34 We've all seen the rumours

arsenalwfc

Katie_mccabe11 and 50,000 others liked

arsenalwfc Riddle us this: What's better than one Katie McCabe?

View all comments

AirlineRusso Stop

Catleysleftfoot Announce it already

GunnerMead Why are we incapable of keeping secrets?

arsenalwfc and Y/n13

leahwilliamson and 78,000 others liked

arsenalwfc and Y/n13 Welcome to North London Y/n13!

We're happy to announce our newest signing Y/n13 all the way from America! With 31 international caps under her belt at just 21 years old, our newest defender is no stranger to pressure.

View all comments

Foordy34 Finally

Sakastarboy Thank God

AirlineRusso Gonna single handedly take this team to the champions league

Foordy14 @Airlinerusso Wouldn't go that far

AirlineRusso Have you seen her play? She's gonna be the greatest in the world one day

Foordy14 The greatest at picking up cards maybe, girls got hella anger issues. Do we really need another Katie? @AirlineRusso

arsenalwfc

kyracooneyx and 45,000 others liked

arsenalwfc How we feeling gooners?

Head to our youtube page to capture exclusive behind the scenes of Y/n13 announcement video.

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kyracooneyx I hope you weren't wearing crocs in this @Y/n13

Y/n13 @Kyracooneyx I can feel you judging me through the screen

__emilyfox added to their story

Y/n13

kyracooneyx and 15,000 others liked

Y/n13 London ice cream baby, Arsenal promised me 3 Mr Whippys a day for my signature

View all comments

__emilyfox Your an idiot

Y/n13 @__emilyfox *You're

Katie_McCabe11 Greens the wrong colour kid, unless your Irish now

Leahwilliamson I'm starting to see what you mean @__emilyfox

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 6

Part 5

I know it's been quite the build up to meet all the players but trust me it's coming :) A short chapter ahead, sorry!

Once you had bid goodbye to Jonas, Jennifer wasted no time in dragging you pitch side. It was there that you experienced just how much went into announcing new signings as you met the rest of Jennifer and David's team and crew members. They took long videos of you walking pitch side and sitting among the thousands of seats in the stadium, you couldn't wait to hear them roar to life on match days.

'Here' Jennifer approach where you were seated with a box in hand. 'New pair of boots for the day, wanna give them a try?'

'Hell yes' you said excitedly ripping open the box to find a pair of pink Nike phantoms laying in wait. You grinned and held them up to the camera examining with glee the way your initials and number were engraved into the side. 'Fucking fantastic aren't they?'

'Language!' Jennifer exclaimed 'We'll have to mute that Y/n'

You glanced at her sheepishly before pulling the boots snuggly over your feet.

'Perfect fit.' You weren't ashamed to admit that you went through football boots like a Foxes through chicken. They never usually lasted longer than a few months before they were falling apart of the seams, maybe it was the rough tackles or the way you liked to knee slide but you weren't all that sure. It was a shame considering how much you loved your new pair.

As you got up from your seat and made your way back down to the grass an Irish voice abruptly stopped you in your tracks.

'There's me new protege'

You turn to see Katie McCabe sauntering out the tunnel. The Irish Captain was also decked out in an Arsenal kit and she dragged a ball bag behind her.

'Katie' She introduced herself, dumping the balls at your feet.

You decided instantly that you liked the girl. You'd be lying if you said you didn't admire her style of play, it was incredibly similar to your own right down to the risky tackles and red cards. From what you'd seen in videos online, you were also pretty sure she'd appreciate your humour.

'I know who you are' You began ' Katie Robinson, right?'

A look of shock crossed Katie's features for a moment before she cackled loudly. 'Got a mouth on ya, don't ya?'

You shrugged. 'That's what they all say'

Jennifer inserted herself into the conversation. 'Okay, now we can get started'

'Started?' You frowned

'On the video."

You shook your head. 'Then what've we been filming for the last half hour?'

Jennifer shared an amused glance with Katie. 'Just some little snippets and shorts for social media, some of it might make the cut for our main video but it's going to be something a little different and i think the fans will really love it' She beckoned you and Katie to follow her over to the nearest goal where the crew had began to set up large cameras.

'That's why i'm here kid, the fans love me' Katie joked to which you sniggered.

Ignoring the Irish defender, Jennifer continued. 'The whole concept is based around reputations, people hear Katie's name and they think passionate, fearsome, daring, dangerous and your name carries that weight too. So we're gonna play onto that, teams aren't just going to have to deal with one McCabe now, but two.'

You liked that idea. You thought it made you sound tough, like you were built to handle anything.

'We're gonna be bringing the danger kid, me and you'

You smirked 'I think your face alone is scary enough'

Katie shook her head. 'I'm going to have to keep an eye on you aren't I?'

'As long as it's not when i'm in the shower' You countered

Jennifer narrowed her eyes at you as Katie just laughed. 'Stop saying things like that Y/n'

You held your hands up in surrender, you were surprised at how easily you'd managed to fit in already. It was a calming feeling, it made you more at peace with your new life in England despite only arriving a day earlier.

'Kyra's taken a liking to ya' Katie said suddenly as Jennifer wondered away with David to deal with a lighting issue. 'Came through the door at 7 this morning covered in mud but grinning like a mad man'

'Yeah, Emily wasn't too pleased with me about that'

Katie shrugged. 'That's valid, at least Kyra left me a note...even if i couldn't exactly decipher her hand writing.'

'Well I'll know for next time.'

'Next time?' Katie rolled her eyes 'Fantastic'

You honestly couldn't wait to see Kyra again. 'It's good to know someone my own age over here, most of my friends are back in the States'

'Any boyfriend...or girlfriend?' Katie teased

'Not anymore' You answer cryptically but before Katie can respond Jennifer is rushing the two of you into position in front of the camera.

'ACTION'

[12woso12]

A little navigation...

Dorothy moves to North London

Prologue Part 1 part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6 part 7

The North Stand

No control

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Angry Woman

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 5

Part 4

When you finally made it back to Emily's apartment block, it was a quarter to seven in the morning. It was obvious that neither you or Kyra were time conscious which you could see being quite a problem for the two of you in the future. Quietly, you slipped inside the block and began to ascend the stairs to the fourth floor, eyes aching from the lack of sleep. Your joggers clung to the bottom of your legs, soaked from hours spent rolling around on wet grass. You must have looked as though you'd been dragged backwards through a hedge.

As you unlocked Emily's apartment door you found the older woman waiting for you at the kitchen counter, stoney expression on her face.

'Decided to return have you?' she mused, aggressively taking a bite of toast. 'How's Kyra?'

You flinch nervously at her tone. 'Sorry Em, I should've messaged you'

'Yeah you should've! If i hadn't of seen that dumb instagram story, which the club aren't going to be happy about by the way, then i wouldn't have known where you were!'

'I'm not a kid, Em' You retaliated 'I was with Kyra, we had a kick about at the park'

'At 3 in the morning? God help us all deal with you and Kyra being friends' She rolled her shoulders and began to ease up slightly. 'Want any breakfast? I've got cereal under the counter'

You gratefully find a box of something called Cookie Crunch and begin to nibble at a few pieces from the box. 'Wow, the Brits sure made this tasty didn't they?'

Emily snatched the box from your hands and took a bowl from the sink. 'Don't stick your hands in there! Look how muddy you are, you're going to need to take a shower before you get picked up for the Emirates'

You ate in silence, casting an occasional glance in Emily's direction in an attempt to see if her mood had changed. When after ten minutes the line in her brow still hadn't shifted, guilt coursed through your veins and tied your stomach in knots. Your fellow American had taken you in and this was what you repaid her in - sneaking out and mud caked shoes.

'I am sorry.' You said 'I couldn't sleep and Kyra was messaging me...I was exited to meet someone new and so i didn't really give much thought to the consequences'

'Thank you for apologising' Emily smiled for the first time that morning and then: 'Why couldn't you sleep?'

'Jetlag' you lied, Emily didn't need to know about your nightmares. You hadn't told anyone before. Of course, people knew the basics about your life, or at least what they'd read in the press. But you didn't think they needed to know how your father's abuse still haunted you or how you could still see the blood splatters from your mum's head.

'I'm getting picked up at 8:30 right?' You glance at your phone.

'Yeah. Know what you're wearing?'

You shrugged. 'Haven't even touched my suitcases yet.'

Emily stared at you in disbelief. 'Then how did you brush your teeth last night?'

'Gum?' you said matter of factly. It wasn't that you didn't enjoy feeling fresh before bed but it had been a long day and figured it could all wait until the following morning. What you hadn't counted on however was having little to no time in the morning due to your impromptu meeting with Kyra.

'Bloody hell' Emily murmured

'God you're so British now aren't you' You teased Emily

'Just you wait' Emily grumbled 'The Brits will get to you too'

'Never!'

The journey to the Emirates took a long hour of fighting traffic through the streets of London. You'd been picked up in a black and shiny SUV driven by an elderly man named Michael who you weren't exactly sure should have a license after you witnessed him reversing backwards over pavement.

But who were you to judge? You couldn't exactly drive either.

When you finally built up the courage to tackle your suitcases you had picked out a pair of loose blue jeans, a white t-shirt and a tweed blazer to fit over the top. You decided that smart casual was the way to go, not wanting to seem too eager but also excited to sign such a professional contract.

You were nervous as you approached the stadium. Your stomach was fluttering and your jaw clenched tightly as every second passed by. You weren't too sure what to expect, you knew Jonas Eidevall would be there to greet you at some point and you knew you'd be meeting the player liaison who would be helping to settle you in, but that was it. Everything else was the complete unknown.

As the SUV churned to a halt and you bid goodbye to Michael, the door swung open and you were met by a short woman who introduced herself as Jennifer.

'Sorry about all this secrecy' she said gesturing around her at the emirate's parking garage that you had been brought to. 'We try and keep all our signings under wraps until announcement day'

You sniggered slightly knowing that Arsenal could never keep a secret 'When will i be announced?'

'Day after tomorrow, if all goes to plan'

You eyebrows shot up 'That's quicker than i thought it would be'

'We were aiming for next week but it seems as though you and your new Australian friend decided to throw a wrench into our schedule' Jennifer made reference to your instagram post 'You've created a lot of buzz and we want to make sure to utilise it, so within 48 hours you'll be officially announced'

You decided not to defend yourself, the last thing you needed was your own player liaison to take a disliking to you. Instead, you followed her silently through a set of double doors and into the halls of the mighty Emirates stadium.

'This is David, he's our media specialist' Jennifer pointed to a man who was dressed head to toe in Arsenal gear. He held a phone in hand, video clearly on and pointing directly at you. 'He'll be following you around today, getting some content for the fans and that type of thing'

'Well as long as he doesn't follow me into the restroom' You deadpanned attempting to hold in laughter as Jennifer's eyes widened and David turned a deep shade of red.

'Have Kim and Leah been warned about you?' Jennifer half-joked. You shrugged and shot an apologetic glance towards David who instantly averted his eyes. 'This way, we need to get you into some red'

Jennifer led you and David down a maze of hallways and through a dozen doors until you finally came to a rest outside the player changing rooms. 'There's a kit waiting for you inside, once you're changed we can head up to the offices. I think Jonas has arrived so you can get to signing the contract. After that, we've got a welcome video to make'

You nod and hesitantly turn into the changing rooms. You were overcome with an overwhelming nausea suddenly and as you entered the Arsenal changing rooms for the very first time, the transfer became scarily real. The first thing you noticed about the room were the lights, they were harsh, almost too harsh for your tired eyes to take in. The Arsenal cress was printed onto the floor in the middle of the cubbyholes, it glistened with history and somehow sent a wave of pride into your bones despite having yet to wear its colours.

In the centre cubby hung your new kit. Usually you played with the number 13 on your back but since that had already been taken, you'd opted to swap the numbers around for 31. You made quick work of changing into the kit and ran a quick hand through your hair to add some volume. You paused in one of the mirrors to study your appearance and were happy to discover that the red kit suited you.

It wasn't too often that you worried about how you looked. You had the fortunate gene of appearing skinny and gorgeous, at least that's what your mum used to tell you.

You kept your own trainers on and folded the rest of your clothes to sit neatly in the cubby as you readied yourself to step back into the hallway where David would most definitely be waiting, camera in hand.

'Not bad this kit, is it?' you re-enter the hallway and smile at Jennifer who nodded at you impressed.

'Suits you' She said 'Come on then, up to the offices we go'

As you trudged up several flights of stairs, your hands grew sweater and you began to worry whether you'd be able to grip the pen tight enough. You tried to shake off the stupid thought and happily found yourself distracted when you finally came face to face with your new manager.

'Y/n!' Jonas exclaimed as Jennifer led you into a media room. 'It is great to meet you, we are all so excited to have you here' The Swedish man thrust a hand towards you which you took enthusiastically, meeting his wide smile and firm shake.

'Good to meet you' You replied as he gestured for you to take a seat at a table in the centre of the room. You sat down in front of a maroon wall, the Arsenal cress above your head. On the table lay a pen and paper, ready and waiting for your signature.

'I really hope we're able to build something here together' Jonas told you as he picked up the pen and handed it to you. The snap of David's phone capturing the moment was difficult to ignore.

'Me too, i'm excited to get started' You lower the pen to paper. Your life was about to change, for the worse or better, you didn't know. The pen moved fluidly as you drew out your signature and Jonas clasped you on the back in celebration.

You'd done it. You were officially an Arsenal player.

'Well, now that's out the way we're about to do something a lot more exciting' Jennifer smiled.

'The video?' You questioned

'Yep. And we've got a special guest'

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 4

Any requests of where you want to see this go? Or are you liking the story how it is? Let me know whatever you think :)

Part 3

You weren't banking on the park gates being locked. They stretched at least two metres high and seemed to expand around the entire perimeter until meeting the edge of a dark forest in the near distance.

You frown in confusion and glance around for any sign of Kyra, you were already on edge, it wasn't exactly a pleasant experience navigating yourself around a new town in the dead of night. But your excitement at meeting Kyra out weighed your fear of actually getting to her.

'Oy' You hear the accent before you see her. As if on queue, Kyra appears behind you with a timid smile on her face. She was dressed similarly to you except where you were wearing bright green crocs, she had opted for trainers. Kyra had a ball under her arm and you groaned inwardly at your choice of footwear.

'It's nice to meet ya' Kyra stuck out a free hand which you took eagerly and grinned back at her.

'Likewise'

Kyra dropped your hand and moved past you until she stood in front of the gate and haphazardly threw the ball over. She grasped at the gate bars and hoisted herself up with ease before dropping down the other side. She paused to look back you.

'Coming?' She winked cheekily and you couldn't resist following the girl over having thought that maybe you'd finally met your partner in mayhem. You struggled a little more so than she had done because of your questionable footwear but eventually you managed to hoist yourself over the bars to where Kyra was waiting with the ball.

'I thought you might fancy a kick about?'

You chuckled and snatched the ball from Kyra's foot. 'What size shoe are you?

'What ?' Kyra's eyes widened 'Why?"

'I can't play with crocs on both my feet!' you explained already removing a croc from your left foot and holding it out to Kyra. 'Trade me one shoe and then we'll be even'

Kyra scoffed and hesitantly removed her own shoe. 'Why'd you wear crocs anyway?...And why are they so green? It's like you've skinned Shrek for them'

'I haven't been bothered to unpack yet' You explained tugging on Kyra's shoe. 'And my crocs are cool, you're missing out not having a pair of your own'

'I really doubt that' She countered, grimacing down at her feet before whacking the ball from your hands and sprinting across the field with it towards the nearest goal. You were hot on her heels and just as she was gearing up the shoot you slipped the ball away from her and towards the opposing goal.

'Come on' you shouted over your shoulder 'Aren't you suppose to be Kim Little's prodigy daughter?' You line up the ball and launch it towards the goal, it bounces off the cross bar and you cover your face in embarrassment.

'I can tell you're no top striker' Kyra caught up to you and patted your shoulder sarcastically. 'Less doesn't need to worry about competition'

'You're close with Russo?' You question more than eager to get a head start on understanding team dynamics.

Kyra nodded and went to fetch the ball. 'She's a lot like my older sister over here. You won't find anyone nicer than Lessi...penalties?' she asked.

'Only if you want to get destroyed' You mock running over to the goal to act as stand-in keeper. 'Best of five?'

'You're on y/n'

Somehow playing football with Kyra felt familiar. The way the girl passed back to you or teased you for showing off, it all felt as though you'd played with her your entire life. It was a stupid thing to think, really. And yet here you were, kicking a ball about with Kyra Cooney-Cross until the sun began to rise and the birds rose from their nests. Lost in the game, neither you or Kyra noticed how muddy the two of you had become or how as the skies grew lighter, you were getting closer to needing to leave for the Emirates.

'You know what we should do?' Kyra says suddenly stopping in her tracks. 'Feed the fans'

You grinned mischievously, immediately catching onto what she was hinting at. 'Your phone or mine?'

'Yours' she said instantly making you raise an eyebrow suspiciously. 'I hid Leah's boots at training today so i'm in her bad books right now but she can't be mad at you, you're not even officially an Arsenal player yet!'

Sighing you pull out your phone slightly nervous at the possibility of pissing off one of your captains before you've even shook her hand. 'I'll post to instagram' you said all the same.

Y/n13 added to their story

[12woso12]

Dorothy lands in North London - Part 3

Part 2

Hey! Hope you're enjoying the story so far, this chapter is a little darker than the last few but hopefully you'll understand why. It won't be long until more of the Arsenal girls start to make an appearance and relationships start to develop.

TW: Mental health, nightmares, violence

Emily wasn't a night person. She loved mornings, her alarm was set for 7am every single day and you were ashamed to admit the opposite about yourself. You loved the night, it was the only time you ever really felt at peace. There was no one else around and therefore no expectations to uphold, sometimes you would even take a ball to the local park and practice smashing it into the face a hundred dozen times in the dead of night. Of course, you felt a little uneasy going out at night in a completely new country and so you opted out of that idea for your first night in London.

Instead, you sat in Emily's guest room as her snores from next door rattled your shared wall. You'd forgotten that Emily was a loud sleeper, it had only been the one time that you'd shared a room with her on camp and you'd been too tired most of the time to even notice it back then. An episode of Love Island was playing softly on the tv, it was true that the UK version was miles better than the US one but you'd take that to the grave.

With one eye on the re-coupling taking place on screen, you fumble around in your bedsheets for your phone and notice you have several thousand new followers, a few of your future teammates included. It was strange, the news wasn't even official yet, you wouldn't sign the contract until tomorrow and the announcement wouldn't be put out until next week yet you felt as though the whole world knew.

To be fair, your instagram story probably added fuel to the fire. And Arsenal weren't exactly known for being able to keep a secret. You remembered seeing a picture of Emily on their instagram before she'd been officially announced.

Among the Arsenal teammates who'd opted to follow you were Kyra Cooney-Cross and Katie McCabe. You follow them back instantly, excited about making new connections in the footballing world. You wondered if they'd been together while stalking your instagram, you were nervous at what they thought of you. Your instagram was nothing short of wild. There was no organisation to it at all. You had footballing pictures followed by random photographs you'd taken on nights out and occasionally a few random dogs made appearance. Emily said you'd be friends with Kyra and you'd even seen fans online chattering about how well you'd get on, hopefully they were right about the Aussie.

You settle down further into bed, Love Island finally finishing for the night as a tired yawn breaks from your lips. You don't stay awake long enough to find out what's on next.

'Y/n' Someone was shaking you awake.

'Y/n wake up for God's sake'. Your eyes open to a mysterious hooded figure stood in the middle of your dark room. 'I thought i told you to stay awake' It spoke. The voice was unrecognisable but it sent a shiver of familiar fear down your spine. You sit and shuffle as far into your pillows as humanly possible, never once taking your eyes off the figure.

'Who are you?' your voice was weak and distant as though it didn't really belonged to you. The figure chuckled and took a long step forward, closing distance quickly between the two of you.

You can't move.

Your body won't move. No matter how hard you will it to.

'You know who i am' The figure growled 'You've seen this all before. You've been here before y/n'

You can feel yourself sweating, your eyes dart around the room and you suddenly realise you aren't in London anymore.

'I'm back in Kansas' you whisper incredulously 'And that means...dad?' You let out a strangled cry as the figure launches itself at you, hand out stretched and reaching for your throat. It pulls you to the floor and you squirm under its weight. It was your father, you could tell by the way he smelt, by the way his hands still fit perfectly around your neck. He was going to kill you this time, there was no escaping him now.

You were going to die. And your maker would be the one to kill you.

You clawed at his hands on your throat but it was no use, the fight had already been lost. You let out a final cry and the last thing you see before you pass out is the haunting face of the man who was suppose to love you most.

'FUCK' you wake up, properly this time.

It was just a dream. You were safe but it didn't feel like it, the smell of beer on your father's lips had been so real. He had been so real. You fumbled for your bedside lamp switch and let out a sigh of relief as it flickered on to reveal you were still in London. Kansas was a thousand miles away, no one could hurt you here.

You took a shallow breath trying to get your breathing under control, your eyes spotted with black dots and the room felt shaky around you. It wasn't that you weren't use to nightmares, because you were. It was the fact that you hadn't expected it.

You had secretly thought that moving to London and putting even more distance between yourself and the hell you grew up in would be beneficial. When you'd first moved from Kansas to Gotham it had done you a world of wonder and it helped even more so when you'd made the move to Orlando. Your nightmares were less frequent, you didn't feel like throwing up every time you saw a women who resembled your mother or a father angry at his child. Of course you'd still have the occasional bad day where you couldn't get out of bed or force food down your throat, who didn't? But all in all life had been better the further from Kansas you got.

So, why was London any different? It made you uneasy, it made you scared. All alone in a big city, the weight of expectation on your shoulders, the memories of the past fresh in your mind.

You were built for this, you reminded yourself. If your rough upbringing had given you anything, it was a will to fight.

Timidly you reached for your phone to check the time and sighed when it read 2:08am. You had hours until you needed to be up and on your way to the Emirates where you'd finally sign your contract and film your big reveal for the fans. As you unlocked your phone and busied yourself scrolling through instagram, you were astonished to see a notification in your Dms from Kyra.

'What the hell?' you murmured, clicking on the notification hesitantly.

Kyracooneyx I hope Em is being nice to you

You smirk at the message, incredibly happy that a member of the team was reaching out to you. You were glad of its casualness and decided to follow suit.

Y/n13 Well well well... if it isn't 1/3 of Ausenal

Kyra was clearly awake as she began to type the moment your message had been sent in response.

Kyracooneyx I like to think of myself as the best Aussie in North London

Y/n13 That's rather conceited don't you think?

Y/n13 Poor Steph Cately

Kyracooneyx She'll get over it

Kyracooneyx So when do you sign for us?

Y/n13 Bright and early tomorrow morning

Kyracooneyx Then why are you awake

You pause for a second, trying to concoct a lie.

Y/n13 I got side tracked watching love island

Kyracooneyx Not that shit. And to think, we could've been friends

Y/n13 Everyones been saying that

Kyracooneyx Saying what?

Y/n13 That we'll get on

Kyracooneyx Well Emily did describe you as a little shit the other day at training and that's what Steph calls me sometimes

Y/n13 we can be shits together

You laughed aloud at the absurdity of your conversation. You already sounded like best friends.

Kyracooneyx Are you doing anything right now?

Y/n13 Absolutely nothing

Kyracooneyx There's a park two minutes down the road from Emily's, meet me there? I'll ping the address

Y/n13 Count me in

You threw on a pair of joggers and an oversized jumper before sneaking out the door, elated that you'd found a new friend. And even more so now that you had a distraction from the haunting memories that ran through your brain.