13manthatufear12

[13manthatufear12]

the sunrises in the rear view after a long night

in every reality, youll find me on the moon waiting for u

everything pauses but the butterflies in my guts

eyes like a camera, you’re the scenery

still i know, chasing that charming sunset thru it all

like great feeling that everything has been leading up to this

[13manthatufear12]

memorizing the hazards n analyzing the dangers around

while coldness always finds it’s way back, no matter

focused on getting back to u

enamored in the warmth coming from your heart

tender, n this hold you’ve got on me is no secret anymore

no need to hide n shy away, for i embrace you with complete sincerity

[13manthatufear12]

Geekin’

it’s The dream, a soul that’s climbing deep in sleep

reaching for You, getting mud on my adidas

do you feel how hard my heart is beating?

understands it, like one would a lover

God, i’ve never prayed but please don’t ever let me wake up

if only, it’s next to the one who caught me.

while the trees are naked n the air is cold, there’s a feeling blooming

even the speechless moments are worthwhile

this spontaneous meeting, it’s all fulfilling.

n as your eyes soften when you look at me,

all i can think is how much i wanna say that i love you.

[13manthatufear12]

EVERYTHING IS NICER BEHIND GLASS

how would this sound if i put a trap beat behind it?

taking the hit that makes my eyes heavy, but helps lessen the burden.

i wonder where my cat goes wen she’s out n all alone.

man, my lungs wheeze but it don’t stop me.

if i don’t got any puff my head hurts, n it doesn’t bother me wen i’m hungry.

i dunno if it’s too much but it’s jus the truth.

my face is sore, had i been smiling?

grinding my teeth n i ain’t even take anything.

n i won’t even go into all of the fear that i feel in my stomach.

the panic attacks desolate in the kitchen got me feeling like i’m dying.

still says more about u than it does about me.

lil shawty at my door wit flowers, why don’t i feel something?

[13manthatufear12]

[13manthatufear12]

[13manthatufear12]

It Might Not Make Any Sense To U But It Makes Sense To Me

the universe keeps untying my shoes,

the electrical buzzing & strange humming goes on

while the crickets are trying to communicate over the spit puddle about something cosmic.

the leaf is half turned,

& all of the unfinished business resists.

no one should ever break the skin of their partner,

unfortunately some do until they can feel every last overpass colapse

while colors of sepia spill over their eyes.

[13manthatufear12]

therapy every friday no slut loving that loving that coercing stay traumatizing my mind

being a fag was the most gangster shit i done

clean from that case

therapy every friday my brain damaged from all the blood i seen

now this chick wanna get back on my dick

too worried about keeping my mental scars staying stitched

walking down the streets wit a black eye

witnesses lied jus to seem important

now they jus a memory in the back of no ones mind

till he shot one up in his own dome

saying “it’s not an excuse but i was jus a kid”

now ur dead and dust

in the afterlife where u belong

being a fag was the most gangster shit i done

all my ex hoes stay skipping states

peeping at my socials while i daydream bout popping them between the eyes

hogtie then skin them

bleed them like they bled me

ain’t no worry i stay awake and safe betchu can’t say the same

too worried about keeping my mental scars staying stitched

done a good job time to move up in life

keeping peeps guessing never expect me to pull up wit the silent crossbow

never let a hoe walk all over

therapy every friday

no slut that loving that coercing stay traumatizing my mind

[13manthatufear12]

[13manthatufear12]

making moments mental

in the end did it really matter if there were 13 or six notches

because i mean,

she is still stiff with death

and her neck broken

there’s a little pool of blood i found in my left ear,

that i can hear in there

swishing around

whispering to me

telling me all sorts of things that’ll mess with my head

making moments mental

catching me in my blank stare

spitting word after word

benny abc

[13manthatufear12]

at one point i didn’t have a face, and now i have so much face on my face that i can’t really feel the parts of my face that are numb and sting, this skin on my face at one time had been declared dead by the government in 2018 and all the skin on my face was falling off and bleeding so much skin i had to grow back to have this face i have now any maybe i can’t feel all of it like a normal face but i do have a face. i have scars. i have skin. a face. i have reclaimed my skin and my body and my mind that fell off with my face. i have reclaimed my face and my mind that all flew out of me at 35+ miles per hour. pictures that were taken of my lifeless body by the dead and posts that were made of me when i couldn’t say yes or say no or remember what happened to my face and my skin. this is my face, and my skin, my mind and my body. i still sting all over and it doesn’t go away. the government still thinks that i’m dead but i feel more alive than i ever have

[13manthatufear12]

It’s Not That I’m Stronger Than You, It’s Just That You’re Weaker Than Me

what is the point of fences

if outsiders can see through the cracks

holes where the sun might shine through

it’s only so tall.

drawing lines where we establish our space

you can try to wipe it away, but only if that’s really what you want

just know that boys like you are a dime a dozen

and in the end it seems

our bodies weigh less when our souls leave us.

[13manthatufear12]

h.i.g.h.

death, is the higher power.

could never be, could it?

deep seated suffering, bloody blunts.

this baked soul, righteously burning.

surly i feel this one in me aching, when it’s not okay.

this sounds like shit, but i’m high

always high.

how i got here?

well i remember, most of it.

i do remember.

that’s the part that sucks the most and it’ll be years before i can start to forget.

still, stoned to the bone.

[13manthatufear12]

untitled

the bennys are friendly, but they’re not acquainted with just anyone.

it’s nice when you’re the chosen one.

my foot fell asleep, i’m just waiting for it to wake back up now.

during the pause,

there’s a matter that occupies my mind with a feeling that’s not lonesome.

still that bar slams down and seems to get the neck every time,

whats up with that?

[13manthatufear12]

that didn’t feel like a love bite.

misunderstood, someone is cutting the wood outside.

oh,

n all the trees covered anything god would’ve wanted to see, satan i hope you enjoyed the show.

i do still feel your teeth on my cheek.

blank.

what was i searching for again?

all this time i was looking the wrong way, and that’s okay.

as the days go on the pain left on my mandible numbs to smiles i never spread before.

[13manthatufear12]

?

some breaths aren’t as fulfilling as others.

fish bones somehow made their way onto the middle of the road.

“have you ever heard a fish cry?”

or have you ever seen one walk with two legs?

somehow i just know that the hot pavement scraped off those scales.

vividly, somehow i know.

though none of it should have gone to waste, oh, what has become of you lil fishy?

rather know than to not.

[13manthatufear12]

a million casualties

this seat wasn’t made for people who sit like “us”

it’s extremely impolite to play with your food.

more down to earth, you know?

but, when we’re face to face with tears, you seem smaller

it’s like you shrank.

there’s a cobweb

repeated betrayals will never heal, unless it’s in the ground or dust.

then from that the tallest flowers grow!

all that the spider spun

blow it away, not to return for another day.