15confessions-blog

[15confessions-blog]

10th jun, 1:27pm

I’m excited because Splendour is next week! Asssss if omg. Also I feel like me and S have broken up even though we were never together? Weird. I get too attached, I know this. Also it’s my last week of work? My last day is Monday. I think I’m okay with money, but unsure. I keep buying stuff. I need to buy alcohol, cigarettes, and more weed for splendour too lol. That’s a lot of money.

[15confessions-blog]

3rd jul, 8:20am

I can’t seem to stop feeling extremely paranoid. I feel like people are always talking about me behind my back. I don’t know if christa actually wants to hang out or if she’s just upset because all her other friends are overseas lol

[15confessions-blog]

2nd jul, 1:27pm

I really really hope I get that place ahhhh omfg

It really is perfect for me though. With people who have the same mindset?

[15confessions-blog]

30th jun, 8:40am

I’m on my way to my first house inspection. Probably won’t even get it but it’s cool that I’m going. Going out for breakfast with Christine after. I’m out of bed before 9 on a Saturday for the first time in a long time. It’s sunny, I’m listening to Lorde, and feeling powerful. I’m happy I’m alive.

[15confessions-blog]

29th jun, 1:28pm

Great news because I’m not taking anti anxiety or anti depression meds and yet I was still feeling anxious before I got my period, and wasn’t even drinking coffee. And it’s weird because yesterday, and I can really feel it today, my mood is lifting. I can literally feel myself being in a better mood, feeling happier, feeling more like myself.

On another note, I had a dream about sam I think, which is ridiculous and sad and I definitely cannot bring it up with anyone in fear of judgement.

[15confessions-blog]

28th jun, 1:28pm

Lol so I don’t know if I’m being crazy by being mad at Caitlin and stuff. I feel like I overreacted to be honest. I’m really only mad because I feel like I should be mad, and I’m only not messaging her because I don’t want to message first. I’m annoyed though, because they didn’t offer. And I feel like I was being pushed out. And I know I’m not a part of that group the way they all are. Now I kind of feel like I have no one to talk to though. I feel a bit alone. I guess that’s partially why I want a boyfriend; because you always have someone there for you and I don’t have anyone here for me now because my friends are all elsewhere. Anyways. I really really hope I get this place, because I really want it quite badly. It’s also the only place I’ll be able to afford for the next five years Hahahaha.. ahh. Praying it works out. I want it sooooo bad. And it’s so cheap! Hope I fit on the bed. Lol.

[15confessions-blog]

15th jun, 5:44pm

Life’s a weird mood today. Disappointed in myself for not saying shit to Nick. Ah.

[15confessions-blog]

12th jun, 1:25pm

I feel like I’ve been really upset about being single, but I think I’m ok with it now. I don’t think anything is going to happen with Sam. I’m not deluded. And I know that nothing is going to happen with Ethan. We are over. It’s ok. I miss being with him, but nothing is going to happen with us two. It’s so sad. But it’s alright. I don’t need anything to happen with us, really. I really hope I get to start at Macquarie uni in sem 2. This is all I really care about happening.

[15confessions-blog]

[15confessions-blog]

8th jun, 1:18pm

Still feeling good from this weeks healthy eating and sleep! Am worried about tomorrow, with going out and drinking.. hehe. But will be good.

[15confessions-blog]

7th jun, 1:28pm

Feeling good about sleeping early and eating healthy this week. I don’t feel that tired at all, and stuff &(: good

[15confessions-blog]

[15confessions-blog]

31st may, 1:29pm

Ahhhhhhhhhhh

I am sick

Lol

And sam left me on seen

And I’m annoyed

But also who cares because it’s not like he is anything you know

It’s a weird situation

Who am I

I am so lame honestly

Last night was awkward idc what Christine says

Just because people were talking doesn’t mean it wasn’t awkward

It was all small talk

And to be honest I so didn’t have a good time

The food was good but honestly idk I did not have a good time lol

Could just be me overthinking tho

Who knows lol

Not me that’s for sure

I don’t know anything

[15confessions-blog]

23rd may, 1:27pm

Is it still normal to be upset about Ethan? I muted the group chat because they were posting throwbacks. It makes my heart hurt. I feel like I’ve been pretending I’m ok when I’m really not. When will I get completely over him? At what point will I be so ok that we can be friends again? I want to see him so bad. I had a thought that he might be at Michel’s birthday as a surprise. I know he won’t be, but I wish he was. It would make me so happy aghhhhhhh. I’m such a mess. I want him to hug me. How is possible that I’m still feeling like this? I really felt like I was over him. I don’t want to talk to him, but I do at the same time. I don’t want to see him, but it’s all I want as well. I hate this llllll

[15confessions-blog]

22nd may, 8:22am

I’m laughing because of how affected Ethan has left me. I spoke to him yesterday about the Splendour ticket and it left me so sad gah.

[15confessions-blog]

17th May, 8:25am

Perhaps I’m not just mad at her, but feeling loss more prevalently.

[15confessions-blog]