16candies

[16candies]

nownownownow

there is a concept so simple, yet so hard to explain. I've wanted to just say something about it for so long, but its impossible to explain the feeling in only a couple words. Basically, its is what it feels like to be the oldest you have ever been in your life this instant. Time is fleeting but at this single moment, you have lived the longest time ever. You have nothing in your experience of life to compare it to! Hearing stories and just secondhand experiencing things in another persons life whose older than you may compress all the curiosities and thoughts of what the future holds, but imagine having no sources to compare to. Just simply be everything you have ever experienced and nothing but that. There is nothing to compare it to, and no way to know what will happen next.

The concept is so vast to me, and so much goes into simply being in the present. Its happening. right. now. You havent seen this movie before, how could you possible know what will happen next. Absolutely nothing is gaurenteed, and there is absolutely nowhere you need to be. just be.

[16candies]

being a human is what i believe to be the most diverse thing any soul could experience.

A squirrel that lives in a suburban neighborhood in Wisconsin cannot be that different from a squirrel in the UK. These two animals have never met, yet live such similar lives.

On the other hand, a person you see everyday could be someone so far from similar to you. Being a human in this generation is pretty close to being able to do anything you want. If you know how to use your free will good enough, at least.

What im saying, is that humans, alike other animals, have so many experiences in common, but above it all, your potential is endless, while being a squirrel has it's limits.

[16candies]

CONSTANTLY ITCHING FOR SOMETHING THAT DOES NOT EXIST

[16candies]

i think that the most intimate/personal thing you can ever learn about a person is their handwriting. Thats something you cant just forcefully change. They look at it almost every day, and they'll have it for most of their life. It’s in their signature and on certificates and job applications. You cant find out everything about a person just from their handwriting, but its something so foundational to the projection they are giving off.

To me, when a person has good handwriting i think it makes them look more delicate and put together. Like, they put thought and energy into it and that is cute asf!!! Like you really don’t look all tough to me, you write like a 6th grade girl.

[16candies]

answers

dont ask questions back to my answer to the universe. i told you already. All these bad things happen because without any of it, all you will see is black boringness. All these bad things happen in order to see the fine line between good and bad. Jsut like if we all had the same opinions about things, life would be too easy and boring and there would be no individuality or creativity. Our differing opinions make up who we are and when that shit is taken away, we are morphed into one glob of a population that moves as a whole because there is no line between them differentiating a person. "why do children get bone cancer if you have all the answers???" because we are human, and humans are not perfect. And im not saying all the bs about 'ooooh every one is beautiful on the inside', no. We literally just arent perfect. And with that, health complications arent either. Have you ever seen a plant grow perfectly with no rotting bits or a part that grows a wrong way? yeah probably not. Becasue it all comes back to how we are all different. Nobody is exactly the same as another person, and if that is so, you might be in some liminal backrooms level idk. Whatever it is that people cant stop crying about, there is most definetly a reason. there is always a mf reason.

""Pangea," I said. "When your whole world breaks apart, there's always a reason."" (Arnold 43)

stupid book quote, but yes, the connection to effing pangea is necessary, and it makes alot of sense. The continents moved apart from each other because of shifting tectonic plates. Your kid got bone cancer because of preexisting bone diseases, not because God just woke up and decided to be a bitch. If we were all fucking healthy and perfect, alot of great things wouldnt exist. Im not gonna fact check this, but alot of amazing literature would probably have not been written if mental illness didnt exist. Just saying, most writers are not mentally stable. TO BE FAIR. Have you ever watched a absolutely crazy-good movie that didnt have a tragic, overwhemling, evil, issue/plot twist/plot/event???? yeah, probably not.

horrible, evil, diminishing, anti-GOD, atheistness take, but when given a motive/opportunity, usually, people take it and run. Because turning down something great, is esentially bad (????). No idea. Thats just a view on our society. Maybe look a little deeper, not every opportunity that YOU would take is SOMEONE ELSES dream! Do you agree with that statement? If yes, you have unintentionally joined my cult. Just kidding, but if you did agree, you must also agree with the fact that we all are individual beings. Individual beings with drives and motives and futures (no matter if they have plans for it or not) and people they know. So, therefore, to conclude, this means that really nobody should have to suffer, but that is how the world and the human body works. so, call me when you have a solution, because right now, i only have an answer to calm your mind.

[16candies]

born for????

no i wasnt fucking born for that and not for this. I was born to figure that shit out along the way. I have no idea what im doing and i would so give up everything i have now to live my ideal life. Im all for spontaneous shit and ill take every opportunity i think ill get something out of. I dont even need to get something out of it i just want to have that experience. SOmetimes i think i did something too young and now i wont remember it for life. THAT IS MY FEAR. NOT WHAT I DID, its if ILLLLLL REMEMBERRRRR it or not. I am alive so i can make stupid decisions and like to be around stupid people and make goofy movie reviews and read books nobody wants to and do the things people say they will. You give me a goddamn place to start and im off. Then again, i dont need that starting position, i will get there. I know ill be able to go far in life and everything around me is holding me back a little, but im not sure if thats my problem. If i can just go do something, i should be able to from my suburban neighborhood in america. oh jeez. the way id actually cause irreversible damage to myself if i couldnt just go be fucking free. let me outtttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt. im yearning for being freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

[16candies]

God, literally.

i have a six word sentence that will answer almost any question about life, and it can be applied and translated to anything. "We suffer so we know happiness". WE ENDURE PAIN SO WE CAN FEEEEEEEEL RELIEF!!! I always get so annoyed when people ask things like, "If God is so good, why does he let bad things happen?". Even though i am pretty sure im an atheist, i still believe there is a civil answer to this question without saying, "God is random." No. God is full of intention. If you look, YOU WILL FINDDDDDD.

I know that saying something like this so confidently is a bit of a stretch, but if im gambling, i know i could win money, but that is only because there is a possibility of losing. Having a PROBLEM, reveals that there must be a SOLUTION!!! These also apply to other things, not just questioning religion, obviously. (Any question about life, literally any, like I said.) Think of a hard decision you have made recently... You have a choice, the freedom to choose which is selected... And because of that, you will lose one of those possibilities with the selection you have made.

As human, we are naturally curious and it is only in our nature to question, and that is why we yearn to find answers. But, there will not always be answers, so that leaves room for the hypothetical-ness (?) of being a person. Humans have made it their job to figure this stuff out, and is that why people make a living off studying philosophy? No! They do it for money. Real, passionate people write a book, or whatever i'm doing now.

Ive read some sections from the book The Hero Within by Carol S. Pearson, PH.D and it helped me realize a little bit more why we (most of us) strive for individuality. Our ideas make us authentic, therefore the structure to our personal beliefs. Without those authentic, true, real thoughts I wouldnt be me and you wouldnt be you, because we dont ever question without individuality. We dont become followers if we can realize that we see everything differently.

[16candies]

the conclusion of failure reveals the possibility of success