2aku2abel

[2aku2abel]

oc rant because i need to write my thoughts down

although malcolm and maria never really spoke one on one despite being in the same friend group, they were the only ones who truly understood each other. they both had very horrible, complicated relationships with their families. they both suffered an abusive father. but they never really talked to each other about that. the one time they really spoke, just the two of them, was when maria went to malcolm to tell him about her and duke’s relationship. this is still pt 0 so hector hasn’t died yet and malcolm is having a similar situation. neither of them can tell their friends about their relationships. both of them feel like their boyfriends are too good for them. they vent to each other abt their complicated relationships with their partners. maria cries about how she feels that duke is only with her for the intimacy, that he doesn’t actually love her. malcolm sobs and tells her he feels the same way about hector. after that night, neither of them talk about what happened and go back to simply being acquaintances again.

when persephone asks malcolm about her parents, what they were like when they were young, malcolm tells her about that night and how he regrets never talking to her again. he regrets not talking to duke that much when they were young and how maybe if they had been closer, duke wouldn’t have had to worry about their secret relationship. maybe if they were closer he could have told duke about hector and evelyn’s plans. maybe if they had been closer no one would have died.

he despises the sight of persephone when she cries, not because he finds it annoying, but because she looks identical to how maria did that night and his heart aches with the memories of his old friend, his twin brother, and his lover, all of them six feet under.

[2aku2abel]

i might start posting about some of my ocs again :33 i’ve roughly finished the ending of it so i almost have all of it done and i want to write some short little drabble and things about them

[2aku2abel]

part 2 to that little arthur x reader angst fanfic i wrote like a month ago

somehow you had found yourself all the way in valentine. you don’t even remember passing by shady belle, much less riding all the way back to horseshoe overlook. by the time you snapped out of your daze and realized where you were, the sun was beginning to set and you sure as hell weren’t gonna sleep on the dirt in the cold after all the shit you went through today.

stepping into the saints hotel felt like a warm embrace after enduring the chilly autumn air all day, but even the warmth of the fireplace couldn’t melt the anguish in your soul. after acquiring a room for the night with the little money you had left (after buying that stupid cowboy a gift), you trudged up the stairs and headed towards your door.

throwing your bag down to the floor, you collapsed onto the bed. while you had snapped out of your heartbroken daze a few hours earlier, there was still a numbness plaguing your mind. a bitter feeling lingered in your heart. the image of arthur with that woman wouldn’t go away. of course, he still loved her even after all this time. even after all those days you spent doing tiring jobs for dutch. even after all those nights you spent alone, venting your troubles and fears to the other. even after that kiss he had given you after that successful robbery. even after—

when did you even start to cry?

furiously rubbing the tears from your eyes with the sleeve of your white shirt, you properly lay down on the bed. it’s better to get some rest and not think about the situation at all. there are more important things to be thinking about anyway. what will dutch say when i come back to camp with no money? will miss grimshaw give me extra hard work for slacking on a job outside of camp? will mary-beth and tilly be worried that i didn’t come home today? but most importantly…

how could you go back to camp and face arthur after running away like that? would he still talk to you? would he be worried about you and ask what happened? or worse… would he not care at all and pretend like you never existed to him?

question after question occupied your mind until eventually you drifted off to sleep.

BANG BANG BANG

you jolt awake as someone pounds violently on the door to your room. taking a few moments to process where you are and what the current situation is, you rush to the bag you threw to the floor and grab your hunting knife before slowly inching toward the door.

“who is it?” the banging stops.

. . .

“it’s arthur”

your heart drops… and apparently so does your hunting knife as it slips out of your hand and, in an attempt to catch it, deeply scratches your skin. you wince and hold your injured hand to your chest, completely forgetting about arthur as the blood seeps through your white shirt. the hunting knife fell to the floor at your feet as you rushed back to your satchel to find some kind of dressing that could stop the bleeding.

“you alright in there?!” he called your name, worry evident in his tone.

“j-just a second!” you hurriedly tried to tear a piece of your spare clothing to make some sort of wrapping for your wound. unfortunately, arthur had already kicked the door open and seen the terribly silly situation you had gotten yourself into.

“what on earth have you done now?!” stomping over to you, he grabs the cloth from your hands, pulls a tonic out of his own satchel, and starts to dress your wound properly.

you both stay silent as he gently handles the scar on your hand. your eyes wander aimlessly around the room, looking at anything but arthur. his seem to be laser focused on the wound on palm, refusing to look up at you.

once he finished, the awkward silence became extremely apparent. arthur looked around the room before clearing his throat.

“…what were you doin’ in saint denis?”

you absentmindedly played with the fabric of your sleeve. “…dutch sent me on a job… had to get some information ‘bout the bank.”

“oh.”

. . .

there was that god awful silence again.

you sighed. “look arthur, i… you and me, we were never anything serious. i know how much that mary girl means to you so if you’re going off to run away with her, by all means, do it.” you turned your head away so he wouldn’t notice the tears forming in your eyes.

he said nothing for a long while. finally, after several excruciatingly slow seconds passed, he muttered, “it ain’t like that no more…”

“what’d ya mean?”

“mary… she- well- she and i have been runnin’ around each other like fools these past few years… one minute i’m somethin’ to her, the next i’m trash waitin’ to be thrown away. but… but you? i haven’t known you a full year and yet you’ve stayed by my side. you been robbin’ with me and you had no problem with me shootin’ up valentine or burnin’ that braithwaite house down… all you cared ‘bout was me coming back to camp in one piece. always had that foolish smile on your face when i came back too… like i was something worth smilin’ bout…”

you could only stare at him, bewildered. is that really what he thought? that you would leave him after he saved your life?

arthur took your dead silence as an answer and moved to get up off the bed. “‘m sorry i followed you down here. i shouldn’t’ve said those things, i’m awful sorry—“

“arthur morgan, you fool.”

now it was his turn to stare at you, shock written all over his face. you grabbed his hand and pulled him back down to sit on the bed beside you.

“i have been in love with you since that day you saved me from freezin’ to death in the snow! can’t you see how i turn into a lovesick fool when you’re around?” you grasped his hand a bit tighter. “how could i ever leave after all you’ve done for me?”

arthur’s shocked expression turns to one of sadness. “darlin’ this life ain’t good for you. i ain’t good for you. i’m sorry i got you into this mess— into this gang, but you shouldn’t stay for me… i saved you for selfish reasons, sweetheart, i ain’t a good man-“

“oh, cut it out with that shit!” you scold him. “arthur morgan, you are the best man in my life. ‘fore i met you, i had no one. i’m so lucky you found me that day and brought me to the gang. i know you didn’t save me for no selfish reasons, mr. morgan. you ain’t the type of man to be selfish!”

before he could get a word in, you cut him off and spoke again.

“i have loved you since the day i met you and i will love you ‘til the day i die, arthur morgan! this is not me thankin’ you for saving me! i am grateful that you did, but i have stayed with you not out of thankfulness but out of love. i truly love you, arthur, no matter how foolish you may be.”

that last remark got a chuckle out of arthur as he finally looked you in the eye. he smiled one of his rare, soft smiles and squeezed your hand affectionately.

“you have got to be the most foolish person in the world to stay with a man like me, darlin.’”

you smiled widely, kissing his cheek before whispering, “only a fool for you, arthur.”

. . .

“so what was in that bag you dropped in saint denis? looked heavy,”

“oh… well i had bought some art supplies for you since you love drawin’ in your journal so much. but seeing you with… with mary shocked me so i dropped em’”

the frown that appeared on his face as you told him the price of everything spoke volumes. (don’t worry, you reassure him that you both will go back to saint denis together and repurchase all of the supplies you dropped) (yes he will be using said supplies to only paint portraits of you)

a/n: YIPPIEEEEE I FINALLY WROTE PART TWO LIKE I PROMISED I WOULD MONTHS AGO!!! i’ve been in such a creative rut lately and it really sucks but i’m going to try to get back into writing more often! i know this was super cringe dialogue and very very ooc for arthur but i love my pookie bear cowboy and he deserves all the love in the world; if this sucks ass i’m blaming it on the fact that i wrote it at 4 in the morning

let me know if you enjoyed this x reader stuff and i might make more 👀

[2aku2abel]

her sharp brown eyes narrowed at the man in front of her, trying to pull her wrist from his grasp.

“let go of me, mr. morgan,” venom laced in every word.

arthur sighed and looked back at her just as irritated. “you’re out of your mind if you think i’m just lettin’ you go off on yer own without explainin’ it to me first.”

“let go!”

“what has gotten into you?! what happened? i left for a day and now you’ve gone and started actin’ crazy!”

vivienne managed to rip her wrist out of his tight hold, glaring daggers at him. “ask mary,” her voice trembled and tears filled her eyes.

. . .

arthur was speechless.

“don’t bother trying to find me. i never wanna see your face again.”

she quickly turned and walked the other way, not bothering to turn around and watch as the man she loved fell apart. he could only stare at her disappearing figure, feeling a strange pain in his chest.

_________________________________________

a/n : AHHHHH THIS IS SO CRINGE BUT I REALLY REALLY WANT TO WRITE OC X CANON FANFIC SO JUST PLS LET ME HAVE THIS 🙏 it’s the only way to defeat my five year long writer’s block

lmk if you liked this or if you thought it was plain stupid! no matter what you think i WILL be posting more :3

[2aku2abel]

i’m definitely going to write a part two to that arthur fic i wrote but i’m having ideas of arthur x reader where they’re in an established relationship vaguely based on wildflower by billie eilish? like reader being insecure about arthur’s relationship with mary and overthinking everything he says to her wondering if he just thinks about mary when they’re together and maybe arthur trying to reassure her? i have so many arthur x reader ideas my head might explode

[2aku2abel]

the stench of cigarette smoke and lousy drunk men overwhelmed your senses. you couldn’t seem to shake the horrible smell off as you sulked out of the saloon, sighing. another failed attempt. dutch had ordered you to explore the bars of saint denis and find any information on a potential robbery or business opportunity. it was clear, however, that dutch had never witnessed your acting abilities in action because you were failing miserably. why he didn’t send someone like hosea or karen was beyond you, but you chose not to question him any further. he knew what was best for the gang after all. at least, that’s what arthur always told you.

arthur was your angel and although it was odd to hear an outlaw be described in such a way, that’s what he was in your eyes. the first time he saved you, your horse had been spooked by a pack of wolves, bucking you off his back and throwing you into the freezing snow. as you fell off the saddle and hit the ground harshly, everything went dark and all you could feel was the cold bite of the snowy mountain air. when you came to, you found yourself laying beside a camp fire as a large man stared down at you. of course, your first instinct was to run, terrified of what his intentions were. before you could get off the ground, the man explained everything in a rough, accented voice. how he found you passed out in the snow and didn’t want your dead body to lead all the wolves back to his camp just a few miles away. after a lengthy explanation of who you were and how you had no place to go back to, arthur decided to take you back to colter with him. as you got up to mount his horse, the cold air had gotten to you, making you shiver violently. arthur eyed you for a second before wordlessly taking off his thick jacket and throwing it over your shoulders, hoisting you up on his horse and pretending like nothing happened.

since then, arthur had been by your side constantly, always coming to your rescue. he had saved your life more times than you could count. you’d forever be indebted to him. he truly was your bestest friend and your guardian angel. it was a shame he couldn’t join you for this horrid improv show disguised as a mission.

smoothing out the wrinkles in your skirt, you trudge on to the next saloon, looking through the windows of various shops as you walk. as you passed by various different stores, a certain display caught your eye.

a gorgeous landscape was propped up on an easel with various art supplies laid nearby. paints, charcoal, brushes, some things you hadn’t even seen before, much less known what they’re used for. as you looked closer at the painting, you could see two deer in a small meadow. you smiled softly to yourself, a certain man coming to mind as you thought of all those quick animal sketches he hid in his beloved journal. spotting a marked down price for one canvas with some paints and brushes included, you rushed into the store and came out a few minutes later, holding a large bag of art supplies with a big smile painted on your face. arthur is going to adore these was all you could think as you suddenly forgot all about that stupid mission that dutch had assigned to you.

walking back to where you had hitched your horse, a familiar face in the distance stopped you dead in your tracks. your face lit up for a moment until you saw her.

mary linton.

your heart dropped to your stomach. you’d seen her in a picture, framed so neatly in arthur’s tent right near his bed. you’d heard the stories of her, how she was the love of arthur’s life but broke his heart into a million pieces. you’d spent so long trying to glue those pieces back together. yet you never thought you’d actually see her. see as she smiles and laughs so beautifully. see her dark hair framing her face in the most angelic manner. see her expensive, handmade dress with intricate stitching and elegant embellishments. watch as arthur laughs with her, his eyes full of love and adoration. watch as she steals away the man you had fallen deeply in love with.

your smile would never look half as beautiful as hers. your laugh was too harsh and not as polite and elegant as hers. your hair would never have that beautiful shine or professional style like hers. your clothes were all torn and dirty, nothing like the custom made dresses she wore. arthur would never look at you with those eyes.

you didn’t even register the tears forming in your eyes until a few slipped down your cheeks, harshly bringing you back to reality. your hand let go of the heavy bag, letting it crash to the ground and scatter the art supplies inside. the harsh sound surprised everyone around you, even them. the last thing you saw were arthur’s wide, bright blue eyes turning to stare at your own, opening his mouth to say something. before he had the chance, you turned around, walking away from him and that woman. you heard arthur call out your name, but no footsteps followed you as you found your way to your horse, mounting her quickly and swiftly heading for the nearest exit out of saint denis.

despite all the anger and jealousy that had bubbled up at the sight of mary, all you could feel now was devastation. wiping the many, many tears that fell from your eyes, you left saint denis and kept on riding. you hadn’t even noticed passing the road to shady belle. you just needed to be as far away from arthur morgan as possible.

☆

a/n: AHHHH this was my first fanfic ever, i hope it was okay 😭😭 i have a very unnatural writing style so i’m very sorry if this reads very uncomfortably and not smoothly… please give me any feedback or tips in he comments. i do hope to make more fanfics to try to improve my writing so leave me any suggestions in the comments or dms!

[2aku2abel]

attempting to write my first fanfic to try to get back into writing :3 which would you be interested in??