30daysnophone

[30daysnophone]

Day Eighteen

Today’s Agenda

Ramen, snickerdoodles, things.

Job Impact

None today, thanks.

Social Interactions

I know I said this before, but I’ll say it again: Dating apps are terrible and distracting. I’ve never really been one to only date one person at a time (what can I say, I’m a horrible multitasker), but this experiment has forced me to slow down and focus on the person I’m talking to. Not just that, but the lack of cell phone has also relieved me of any communication-related anxiety. Do I text him first, or do I wait for him to text me? Why is there such a delay in between texts? Why did my screen say he was typing and nothing is showing up? I CAN’T READ HIS TONE.

...Yeah, I’m experiencing none of that. We go on the date, then at the end of the date, we set a time and meeting place for the next date. It works. It also might be more than the phone at work.

In Transit

N/A

Overall Wellbeing

I don’t want my phone back. Except for the deviled egg incident, not having a phone has drastically reduced my rate of dumb decisionmaking.

The biggest lesson I’ve learned is that I need to take care of myself and prioritize certain relationships over hobbies. Hobbies are great, but I’m drowning in them. It’s okay to say no. And sometimes, not having something to do can lead to great things.

[30daysnophone]

Day Seventeen

Today’s Agenda

All day: Theater!

Job Impact

Hm, not day job related, but it would have been great to actually have access to a communications device to see if my writer had any questions for me (he did) and to read the script before getting to the venue. I wasn’t really anchored anywhere that I could get wireless access all morning, so I didn’t see anything until I got to the venue at 10am.

Social Interactions

Somehow I made it through the downtime without a phone and without breaking out my laptop. Score.

In Transit

Wow, it sucks not having a phone to call a Lyft when you’re out until 1AM. I’ve recently made the decision to stop riding public transportation alone after midnight, so that was a bit tricky. Luckily, a friend of mine called an Uber for me. Again, score a point for friendship!

I also got lost this morning trying to get to places since I was in an unfamiliar area of the neighborhood.

Overall Wellbeing

Still doing good!

[30daysnophone]

Day Sixteen

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work 7pm: Hot date

Job Impact

Well guys, this is where I’ve decided to throw in the towel. The job I phone interviewed for on Wednesday tried to get in touch with me via my cell phone yesterday, and they could not. Luckily, they reached out to me via email this morning, and I have an in-person interview next week, but if I want to go further along in the hiring process, I need to be available by phone.

I also have an event next weekend for my current job that falls under the 30 day threshold. My boss will not be happy if I don’t do some live event social media stuff for it, so this experiment’s days are numbered. I’ll try to go the rest of the weekend without my phone, so I’ll continue blogging until then.

Social Interactions

One common thing I’ve noticed is that not having my phone has made it far more inconvenient for my friends than it has been for me. Luckily, I know some awesome people who are willing to hang out in meeting spots for an unspecified amount of time until I emerge from whatever bunker I’m hiding in.

In Transit

Same old.

Overall Wellbeing

Except for the job-related heart attack I nearly had, everything is pretty great.

[30daysnophone]

Day Fifteen

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work 7:30: Theatre company meeting

Job Impact

Having a phone to time an important meeting that I was facilitating would have been useful, but I guess that’s what a watch is for.

Social Interactions

I think there were a lot of things I wanted to vent about via message during one part of the day, but I think it was actually best to not have a method to do that. Instead, I was forced to wait, sleep, vent about it to my roommate the next morning, and then think about things with a level head.

In Transit

Our company meeting was in a part of the city I was not familiar with, so I’m glad I was able to meet up with a few friends downtown to head over there together, because I had no way to call the host. Again, it’s almost impossible to enter a city apartment building without a phone since not everyone has a buzzer or remembers to give their callbox number.

Overall Wellbeing

Overall good. A little tired. It’s been a long week. 

Unrelated: It bugs me a little bit that a lot of actors play characters 10-20 years their junior, especially on TV. I get it, if you can play the part, then play the part, but it creates this false perception that teenagers and people in their 20s look older than they really are, and no one has any idea of what a 30-50 year old actually looks like. I keep running into great looking people in their 30s/40s and thinking they look young, except they don’t look young, they look their age. This is all to say that people need to stop being scared of aging, because some people in their 20s look like children, and some people in their 30s are hot, and age is really irrelevant at this point. (Says the 30 year old.) 

[30daysnophone]

Day Fourteen

Today’s Agenda

9-7:30: Work 8:00: Dinner + Get Out

Job Impact

Yesterday I said to hell with the phone experiment, I have a phone interview with one of my dream organizations! I actually didn’t have to throw everything in the garbage, however, because one of my coworkers let me hijack his office AND his phone for half an hour to do the interview.

The interview went really well. And even if it goes nowhere, I’m so thankful to have supportive coworkers who let me apply for other jobs in their office.

Social Interactions

Hm. Is this even relevant anymore? 

In Transit

Was late for my dinner date, but our email communication has been on point, so no worries there.

Overall Wellbeing

My mood today: Sleep-deprived, but over-energized, and certainly over-caffeinated. 

I’ve been going back and forth on talking about this, but I feel like it’s... relevant? Significant? Last month, I was lamenting over the fact that I was bad at building relationships with people I didn’t see on a daily basis or through projects. Dating hasn’t really gone anywhere because I’m crap at making small talk via text, and I’m too busy to see someone consistently enough to maintain momentum.

I’m eating my words. Apparently if you like someone enough, you don’t even need a phone.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about myself this week, it’s that when I really want something, I’ll do what it takes to make it work.

[30daysnophone]

Day Thirteen

Today’s Agenda

9-7: Work 7:30-10: Trivia

Job Impact

A few months ago, I made the decision to stay at my current position for the next few years to stabilize, accomplish a few significant projects, and grow my professional network. Recently, I’ve been considering making Chicago a permanent home until I peak or have a good run as an elected official (I have lofty goals, y’all).

There are 3 dream organizations/universities in Chicago that I would love to work for. I applied for a job at one of them last fall. They just emailed me saying they had to table the hiring process due to bandwidth, but they’re now resuming and want to schedule a phone interview with me tomorrow.

So I’m going to stop being precious with this little experiment for a hot second to do this phone interview, because sorry, dream job with one of the best universities in the country in the exact area I want to work, not risking a good career opportunity for the sake of seeing what will happen if I can’t acquire a reliable phone. I’ll resume this experiment after the interview.

Also, that’s privilege.

Social Interactions

Apparently Snapchat has stickers, as my roommate kindly informed me. Ehhh?

In Transit

Nothing new. Except for my morning commute and when I walked the 15 minutes it took to get from my office to trivia, I was pretty much with my roommates all evening.

Overall Wellbeing

This job opportunity is big news. Even though I shouldn’t get my hopes up quite yet, I have to say this is the first time I’ve felt legitimately excited about something in awhile. Like I was already feeling kind of bad ass with work and the community organization activities I’ve been into, but the fact that this university emailed me for an interview despite being out of the industry for over a year and out of the field for over two years is huge. 

And then there’s another thing that I feel really good about tomorrow, and even if that thing doesn’t end up going well, the fact that I’m excited about it says a lot about where my priorities are right now and what actually drives me. 

Focus isn’t a bad thing, guys.

[30daysnophone]

Day Twelve

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work

Job Impact

Not phone-related, but—Production season is heeeeeeere. Goodbye freedom!

Social Interactions

The best thing about communicating primarily through email is that there is zero response anxiety. 1-2 emails a day is a reasonable amount of exchanges, and you have time to write a thoughtful response with substance. I am turning into a luddite.

I ran into an old friend in the park during lunch today. She’s someone I enjoy hanging out with but I don’t speak to regularly. After seeing her, I immediately felt bad because I hadn’t reached out to her, and if she had tried to reach me by phone, she certainly didn’t get a response. I sent her an email when I got back to my desk and we’re catching up over lunch next week.

In Transit

Today I ran for the first time in 3 months with no music. I ventured off into Hermosa and then started doing that thing women do when they’re in unfamiliar places. “What if I get hit by a car? I have no ID on me and no phone. How will they know who to contact? How long will it take for anyone to notice I’m missing/dead? Or say I don’t die on impact and I just end up in the intensive care unit in the hospital. How will I reach my roommates or family members? I don’t know anyone’s numbers!” You know, the usual.

I really should compile that contact list.

Overall Wellbeing

I negated today’s run by immediately stuffing my face with a burger and fries from McDonalds while binge watching Bill Nye Saves the World on Netflix, so I’m clearly continuing to make good life decisions.

An excerpt from an earlier email exchange: “Let’s hang out again. What does your week look like?” “I’m free all week. Wanna meet up tomorrow or Wednesday?” “Wednesday works for me!”

The concept of having enough free time to plan things less than a week ahead is still foreign to me. It feels so nice to not have a packed schedule, and I really feel like that’s attributed to being off the grid. I’m realizing that I have a hard time saying no to people. Someone I trust put it to me in these words:

When five friends ask for three hours of your time in one week, it’s really not that much time individually. But when you add up the time, it totals 15 hours, and that’s on top of your job. When do you have time for yourself? Then you start to feel resentful towards those friends, but they don’t understand why you’re so agitated because in their perspective, they’re only asking for three hours.

On another note, here’s an article by NY Mag about the differences between older and younger Millennials. It resonates. 

[30daysnophone]

Day Eleven

Today’s Agenda

11am: Brunch with Al and Ak 1pm: Meetcute  4:30pm: Chai with JD

Job Impact

N/A

Social Interactions

I didn’t confirm details with JD of when we were hanging out until mid-morning, so I ended up having to give her Al’s phone number to reach me while we were at brunch. It worked out pretty well.

It occurred to me that I should write down important phone numbers in case I need to reach anyone in the event of an emergency. It’s easy enough to ask to borrow someone else’s phone, and it’ll help me confirm spur of the moment details like today’s plans.

In Transit

So much walking aimlessly in the sun.

Overall Wellbeing

This was a good weekend. 

I disabled my OkCupid account today. As much as I enjoy meeting new people, I’m realizing that it just adds noise and distracts from the people who are actually important. I was telling JD I’ve noticed in the past couple months that the dating pool has shrunken remarkably in the quality and quantity of dateable guys since I was actively dating two years ago, but I also think that I’ve changed. The experiences that used to excite and amuse me have just gotten... old? Overplayed? 

Someone shared the video below of TED speaker Simon Salek discussing how technology contributes to our generation’s inability to develop longterm satisfaction in jobs and relationships. We’re addicted to the dopamine that we receive from being constantly connected through texting and feedback on social media. More than that, we’ve gotten so used to instant gratification for everything we want (think: GrubHub, Uber, Instacart, Amazon Prime, Netflix, Spotify, Tinder) that when it comes to having the patience to wait for things to develop—we just can’t do it.

As much as I’m fantasizing about not having to repair and reactivate my phone after these 30 days, the reality is that I’m still going to need my phone for work. But I do want to continue maintaining a boundary between my personal time and technology.

[30daysnophone]

Day Ten

Today’s Agenda

11am: Voice lessons 1pm: C2E2

Job Impact

None today, thank you

Social Interactions

Nothing out of the ordinary. 

In Transit

It’s difficult finding your friends in the middle of a big convention. It’s even more difficult separating in the middle of said big convention.

I met up with AD and MD at C2E2, but the nature of it being a convention with lots to do, we were bound to separate to do different things. I couldn’t find them again afterwards.

We could have established a predetermined meeting spot, but then both of us would have been beholden to reconvening at a specific time. I’ve never been good with time limits or curfews, but thankfully I think we were all on the same page with knowing we probably wouldn’t see each other once we split up.

Overall Wellbeing

Fun fact: I’m an introvert when it comes to being around loud and crowded spaces. It was tough not being able to fold into my phone when I wanted to take a break from the general chaos of C2E2, as well as not being able to take pictures of all the cool things going on.

However, I hit a point around 5pm when I felt exhausted, so I just went home. Thus another example of when I was more able to listen to my body telling me it was tired and not belaboring the experience longer than I needed to.

I spent the rest of the evening framing and hanging all the art I bought, so that’s a win in my book.

[30daysnophone]

Day Nine

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work

Job Impact

Borrowed a phone to take photos of the newly renovated choral risers for social media. The dichotomy between what one organization deems important and all that’s going on in the world is surreal.

Social Interactions

I had a raging headache when I got home from work, so I had to cancel my plans for the evening. Then I put away my computer and spent the rest of the night away from everything. Ah, sweet silence.

In Transit

Nothing new here.

Overall Wellbeing

Al and I reorganized our bookshelves. I will always prefer holding a physical book over a razor thin screen.

[30daysnophone]

Day Eight

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work 5-6: Pick up t-shirts 7-8: Ak’s recital 8-10: Dinner

Job Impact

Nothing out of the ordinary.

Social Interactions

There were so many ridiculous photo/video ops today, so I was a little bummed at not being able to document them, but Al had it covered.

In Transit

UGH. So today was one of those days I was running all over the city on a time crunch. My phone typically gives me options (I can track where the bus is, call a Lyft if I’m running late, Google map the most efficient route, text people if I’m running late, etc.) but this time I had none.

After work, I had an hour to get to Bucktown to pick up a t-shirt order for Ak’s recital that evening, which was in Lincoln Park. All were relatively close to each other, but the t-shirt warehouse was in the middle of a construction zone. I spent about an hour waiting for 2 buses when I could have walked the route in that amount of time.

I mapped my route and wrote directions down before leaving work, but since I had made the executive decision to take the bus, I wasn’t sure how long my other options would take. And once I got to Lincoln Park, I didn’t know the direction of the street I was looking for, so I spent another 20 minutes wandering around the DePaul campus until I found a map.

Long story short, maps are still relevant.

Overall Wellbeing

I’ve been in a funk all day. I feel really good about my professional life. But for whatever reason, walking around Lincoln Park/DePaul tonight brought me back to life before 2013.

For most of my 20s, I actually had my shit together. And then I turned 27, and for whatever reason I wasn’t able to hold it together anymore. The past three years were what my early 20s should have been. 

Am I getting used to the quiet again? To the responsibility? To not juggling three different jobs at the same time? To embracing my weird, to laughing, to focusing on just a small handful of tasks and people?

Was theater a toxic environment all along?

I miss stability. I’m happy it’s back.

[30daysnophone]

Day Seven

Today’s Agenda

9-4:30: Work 4:30-6: Networking meeting social thing

Job Impact

Borrowed my coworker’s phone to take Instagram pics for work again.

Had an offsite afternoon meeting in which I was away from my computer for several hours during the work day. Missed a few important emails that needed a timely response. Was able to find wireless relatively easily and respond once I was connected.

I know that if I was in the office and missed those emails due to being in meetings, it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. A response within 2 hours is still a quick response. 

...Right?

Social Interactions

Fully immersed in the conversation. Thumbs up.

In Transit

Business as usual.

Overall Wellbeing

I was home by 7 and spent the rest of the evening reading. In bed by 10.

[30daysnophone]

Day Six

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work 5:30: Networking meeting 8:00: Trivia Tuesday!

Job Impact

For the second day in the row, I had to borrow a coworker’s phone to take photos for social media.

This got me thinking a lot about social media and the role it plays in our day-to-day lives. How much trust is built and lost through social media? What kind of information is derived from social media compared to other formats?

In a weird way, not having my phone has significantly changed the way I interact with social media. Facebook has become my primary form of direct communication with people; however, I’ve been less active overall on all platforms. Rather than mindlessly ranting about a thing, I’ve been processing everything in my own head. Instead of sharing interesting articles with the masses, I’ve been sending links in private messages.

And I’ve gotten so much writing done on all fronts. It’s nice.

Social Interactions

Silences have gotten more comfortable, and I feel fully immersed in my conversations with people.

And I’m less distracted with superfluous relationships.

In Transit

During my morning commute, I had a lot more time to mentally prepare for the day. My first hour at work was ridiculously productive, and I felt really put together. 

There were a couple of moderately difficult conversations I needed to have with certain people today. Normally, it would be easy to brush them aside and become focused on something else, but again, not having my phone with me all the time has cut out all the extraneous noise. 

I feel more grounded. 

Overall Wellbeing

Part of me doesn’t want my phone back. I wonder if I can get an iPod Touch and just connect it to WIFI whenever I need to push things out through social media and stay disconnected the rest of the time. 

I remember when the first iPhone came out. It was my last year of college, and my boss in the Technology & Design department rushed out to get it the day it went on sale. I waited almost three years to get my first iPhone because I knew it would significantly change the way I behaved throughout the day.

I got my first cell phone in high school. Ninth grade. It was one of those Nokia bricks, and I wasn’t allowed to use it until after 9pm because we had limited minutes and texting was $0.50 per text or something like that. No one really texted each other back then, and it wasn’t until college that I started texting, and that was only because I was doing a long distance relationship thing. But even then, we talked on the phone every evening. Regular texting was not a thing. 

No, I wasn’t a huge texter until I got my first iPhone.

I remember when AIM was one of the main ways people communicated. I was never good at IMing back and forth for long periods of time. After 10 minutes, I’d lose interest. I’d keep my away message up all the time because I didn’t want people to contact me while I was on the computer.

Even now, I go through phases where I’ll delete all my social media and messaging apps so that I’m on my phone less.

Not having a phone is forcing me to talk to people about what’s actually on my mind, and at the same time, it’s slowing me down so that I’m not just venting into empty space.

Today, I feel accomplished, and I feel grateful. My career is gaining momentum, I’m doing meaningful work with the organizations I’m involved with, and I’m in a wonderful living situation with two amazing roommates who make me feel secure.

This is what I want.

[30daysnophone]

Day Five

Today’s Agenda

9-5: Work 6-8: Coffeeshop work session w/Al 8pm: Cabaret

Job Impact

The park was decorated with tulips and the trees were in full bloom, so I felt like I had to Instagram it for our work social media account. Fun fact: You can’t Instagram from a PC unless you use third party software, which I can’t install on my work computer.

I’ll have to bring my DSLR in tomorrow to take photos the old fashioned way.

Social Interactions

A friend told Al that she texted me with a question and I never got back to her. I’m realizing that only like five people know I decided to do this silly experiment, so I’m slightly worried about a few people thinking I’m ignoring them when I’m really not.

In Transit

I’ve changed “Time Management” to “Transit” because transit does take up a significant portion of my day, and it’s typically the time I’m most active on my phone.

The afternoon commute was packed, and there was no room for me to take my book out to read. Without music, I didn’t have anything else to do but to stare out the window and think. The guy standing next to me smelled good. The visitors sitting in front of me seemed really excited to be back in Chicago. I eavesdropped a bit and learned that they were looking forward to revisiting their favorite coffeeshops.

Overall Wellbeing

I’m in between projects, and I have a lot of down time. I’ve been isolating a bit this past month too. This partially explains my erratic behavior from the past weekend. 

I’m so used to being constantly “on” and around people all the time. This break from my phone is making me realize that I’m upset at a few things. And I’m upset for not letting myself feel as upset as I should’ve been.

When I used to drive everywhere, those drives were my time to reflect. Although I was actively driving and listening to music, I was still able to decompress, meditate, even. I don’t get that on the CTA. Maybe it’s being surrounded by so many people. Maybe it’s getting distracted by too many things on my phone. 

I just need space.

[30daysnophone]

Day Four

Today’s Agenda

Flake on the date I had scheduled in the evening.

Job Impact

Sunday Funday

Social Interactions

My roommates are the bomb.

Time Management

Walked over 5 miles. Ran a bunch of errands. In bed before midnight.

Overall Wellbeing

Hands down, the best thing that has come out of this experiment so far is that I have zero access to Tinder, and virtually no way to communicate with dudes I don’t already know.

Except Al wanted deviled eggs. And we had nothing to do all day. And apparently when people are bored, they do dumb things. Like prolong a thing that shouldn’t be a thing. And turn that thing into a drinking game. Except Al and I don’t drink, so Ak took several for the team. And since I didn’t have a phone, I was not privy to the group texts. But oh God, I wish I had been drinking. And the deviled eggs were not good.

Online. Dating. Is. The. Worst.

[30daysnophone]

Day Three

Today’s Agenda

The only thing on the calendar was dinner and a movie with A.D at 6:30PM.

...And complete failure at being spontaneous.

Job Impact

None. It’s the weekend!

Social Interactions

This was the first Saturday in a long while that I didn’t have any set plans. So I talked to J.D. about meeting up at the scooter dealership at 3. But it was also 80 degrees and sunny, and the roommates wanted to lounge outside in the park, and I was worried about not making it back in time to get to the scooter dealership, so I canceled that. So essentially, I did nothing all day but lay in the sun and sleep. Not sure if this was a win or a lose for spontaneity.

Okay. So this next part is a little embarrassing, but whatever. We’re all adults here. It’s currently 1AM and I’m sitting in a 24 hour diner chugging coffee and questioning my decision making skills. Why? Because I got home from seeing Logan with A.D., and the movie got me in a weird head space. That, combined with the beautiful spring weather, put me in the mood for deep conversation, or at least something different than sitting in my apartment by myself. More adventurous. That’s my motto.

So I Facebook messaged a guy that I’m kinda sorta seeing. YUP. It was a little classier than a “U up?” but anyway. My roommate had a friend crashing at our place, and I was in the mood for a bike ride, so I volunteered to go to his place. I told him I still didn’t have a phone, and he said he’d leave the door unlocked.

Well, fast forward 30 minutes later. It’s raining, I’m outside, and THE DOOR IS EFFING LOCKED. And no buzzer. How in the world did people do this kind of thing without a cell phone?

So I walked myself to the diner down the street, and here I am. The good news is that the diner has wireless, so I get to report to you lovely readers. The bad news is that fuckboy is not responding to his FB messages, so I guess that’s the end of that story.

Random thought: Why do all the women disappear after midnight? Do we all turn into pumpkins ala Cinderella?

Time Management

Despite my best efforts to leave for dinner early to meet A.D., traffic was horrendous and I ended up 10 minutes late. :(

Overall Wellbeing

This section is turning into the catch-all for all my thoughts, but I guess that processing factors into wellbeing.

Here’s a list of tools that people used before the age of cellphones:

Door bells

Pay phones

Address books

... None of which are at my disposal.

Other questions that come to mind:

How long of a wait is appropriate before you call it a night? What if the bus was stuck in even more traffic when I was traveling to meet A.D., and instead of only being 10 minutes late, I was 30 minutes late?

How annoyed is a person allowed to be at a situation like this? Are people today more annoyed at tardiness than they were 30 years ago?

But seriously, where are all the women?

It looks like my answer to that first question is 30 minutes, or the length it took me to finish this blog post.

Now I just need to figure out how I’m getting home because it’s still raining, and I’m loopy, and I don’t trust myself on a bike at this juncture, and also, I can’t quite call a Lyft.

[30daysnophone]

Day Two

Today’s Agenda:

9-5: Work

Then nothing. Sweet, sweet nothing.

Job Impact

I had a morning meeting at a cafe across the street, again with a new person I had never met before. She arrived before me, and the cafe was swarming with tourists, but I managed to identify her using deductive reasoning (artsy woman sitting by herself with an empty seat next to her, what what).

She had sent me an email noting her location, which I didn’t see until after our meeting, but the power of observation does wonders.

Aside from that, I noticed that not having a phone eliminated a majority of distractions, like changing my Spotify playlist or a responding to a random text or checking an email notification. 

Social Interactions

Facebook messenger continues to be an adequate replacement for communication with most people. I’m a little worried about a couple of people who I’m not connected with on social media because we were in the middle of trying to make plans before my phone did its thing, and now I really don’t know how to get in contact with them because all I have is their cell phone number. Which I didn’t memorize, because who does that?

I guess I could always just randomly show up to one of their regular hangout spots or track them down via Google search, but again, who admits to doing that?

Time Management

I’m currently reading Gloria Steinem’s Life on the Road, and it’s wonderful. My commute on the train to work is about 20 minutes, and while I normally have every intention of reading on the train, I tend to get distracted by my phone, whether it’s going through my playlist to find a song to match my mood, or reading the news, or responding to emails. Not having that as an option is great, and I’m already more than halfway through the book just from reading it on the train.

That all went to hell once I got home though. The laptop came out, and I’ve spent my evening researching RVs and campsites in California because I’ve decided that’s my retirement dream. Florida beaches be damned.

Overall Wellbeing

Transit has started to become my favorite part of my day. Walking to and from lunch, commuting, and waiting to cross the street is suddenly becoming a really relaxing experience. I don’t spend enough time truly by myself.