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[33and33]

Kindergarten

This week I met a little boy named Daniel. He came right up to me when I was picking Louis up after school and said, “He’s my best friend.” I looked at this short little kid with clear brown eyes, dark tousled hair, and he reminded me of Elliott in E.T. I found myself coolly appraising him, full of surprise but also taking it all in in a second... the marvelousness of Louis making friends. Louis stood next to him, matter of fact, and I said, “Louis, is this your best friend?”  “Yep!” They are adorable. 

This week they are making homemade Pokemon cards for each other every night out of construction paper. 

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The Christmas we discovered roller skating and ice skating. Also, the Grinch, the signing reindeer, Christmas carols out the wazoo....Louis asked for a tent and a bow and arrow from Santa.

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Candy Land Ball

A memory from the Candy Land Ball... Louis was so excited to be a part of the Candyland ball--not just looking forward to it as an attendee, but really proud that he was "in charge of it."That's how he kept referring to it, "Mama, you and me are in charge of the Candyland ball right?" "Yes, Louis we are We had to get up early in the morning and help put it altogether and he and some of the other board members kids played. And then he came with me the very next day to help tear down. All this for the second year in a row. So he knows we are building it. It's a beautiful thing to see him so proud and want to make the children happy. On the day of, I was going crazy generating the Will call list at the computer and he was babbling--or should I say bubbling -- about how he was going to take all the children his rainbow Twizzlers. "Oh ", that's a good idea I said distractedly." After I finish printing up the list of names, I turned around to see what the little boy was doing. He was laboring over he piano, stuffing his twizzlers (which he had climbed up on the counter to get) artfully into my gingerbread cookie jar. He was working so hard, and his grubby little hands were handling all the candy twizzlers. Making them stand up in the jar. For a split second I felt a rush of protest at all he was doing, but then my heart just melted. Of course we took the jar and I made sure it was prominently displayed in the middle of the candy buffet. And by God, those Twizzlers disappeared in seconds.

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Heaven

Precious child. https://archive.org/details/Heaven_201509

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Louis just went through the the sweetest stage where he discovered the joys of envelopes, and writing a special letter for someone. For weeks I got love letters every day after school, either created alone by him, with help from a classmate, or help from Dave. Sweet boy!!!!

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Deep thoughts

"I like being alone."

"you do?"

"Yeah! I've been alone my whole life!"

_________ "Now let's get serious."

OK. How do you mean? "Serious is when you look at each other in the eyes and don't say anything."

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Louis took a juicer to school today for show and tell.

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Louis: "Mom, I love you this much!" Me: "whenever I need a Louis hug I'll wrap this around me!" Louis: "No, just hug me!"

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I love how whenever Louis is describing something that happened in the past even if it happened just two days previous he always says a long long time ago, he just told Nana over the telephone that a long long time ago I fell and got a Bobo and I wanted to be healed up before my birthday party on Saturday I also love how Louis says mama you're beautiful and now he comes in for hugs and how he says I like your hair long don't cut your hair

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Things he said lately....

That crack me up or make me go "aww"..... Hanging out with his two-year-old cousin Wren, who is still learning to talk: "She doesn't have to speak the same language as me." --- "I smell somebody's blown out birthday candles from miles and miles away." --- "Daddy said if I poop anymore he's going to kill me." (Not true!!!!!) --- Me: "Louis the doctor said you're sick , and pooping hurts because you're drinking too much milk. So you can't drink any milk right now." Louis: "No, I'm sick because I'm going to Shreveport too much." ---- When heading out the door from my parents house for date night, mom said (as she always has as a warning), "Be careful- there's lots of police out there!" And then he says, "Be careful-there's lots of wolves out there!!!" --- And bedtime we were talking about souls of people and pets in heaven, who we love. Louis then says seriously, "I don't want to die." I cheered both of us up by explaining that I think our souls are infinite and expand far beyond our bodies.... and then he says, "I want to be buried in the same grave as you." So much for such a little one. I try to keep the topic of death breezy. It's inevitable. But fear of it is innate.

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Empathy

I'm driving louis home from school and we are joking, laughing. He's holding a stuffed pelican. A few minutes go by, and I realize how quiet he is. I look on the rear view mirror, and he is silently crying, holding his arm over his face. I see the red, screwed up little agony on his face. My heart stopped! "Louis? What's wrong?" I went through the list: are you hurt? Are you mad? Are you sad? What happened? He jut shook his head. I've never seen him cry for no reason- only when he is hurt, or mad, or Cranky pants. I pulled over and got out and hugged him and asked him what happened, and he told me: "I thought about Patrick (the pelican) going down a well and getting lost forever." I confirmed all this was just imagination and something he thought about but wasn't real. Awwwww, little guy!!!! I'm proud of his empathy and sensitivity.

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Louis loves Legos! And I love his imagination and concentration. Amazed by his ability to focus for hours on construction - his little tongue sticks out a little as he hums Jingle Bells to himself and he builds, searching for just the right piece. His symmetry astounds me.

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"nǐ hǎo"

WOW! I was putting my little boy to bed, and he tells me, out of the blue, "nǐ hǎo" is how you say hello." And he clasped his hands together as if in prayer. "What?" I asked, shocked. 

"Nǐ hǎo" is how you say hello, when you get bigger and you can learn to say word in another way to say words."

"Where did you learn that?" I asked.

"At school."

"Did Gloria teach you that?"

"Yes."

(Gloria is a Chinese girl in his class.)

"Wow, Louis, I am impressed!" 

 Damn. It's happening. My kids is learning more than I will ever know. And he is only three!

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Oh yeah

Tonight was a GREAT! night. I was exhilarated form the recording experience! The ideas are flying, and I am so proud of the talent coming out for this record. 

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Shreveport

Thursday, recorded Santi vox, Ice Cream time marimba, tried to lay new guitar for Snoball but epic failure. I am so unconfident on guitar.  After work, drove to Shreveport, Dave and I totally had a weak parent moment and drove out of our way to Best buy to get a dvd player for car after we realized my new laptop didn’t have a DVD player. Louis had been so excited about watching a Halloween movie on the car ride. In my opinion it was worth the cost. Friday, morning, Louis and I went to Ida with Mom and Roger, who flew in from Houston. We found a turtle on Cedar lane, took I’m to Grammy’s yard. Louis wanted to show Grammy, so busted into the house shouting, “Gram Gram!”  Hysterical. he is the only person in the world who has ever called her that. Visited with Grammy, walked down to pond with Louis. Along the way stopped and chatted with cousin Debbie (her son Dale who lives in NOLA is in a daughter daddy bowling league, and his daughter hopes to go to Tulane on a bowling scholarship!) and also stopped and visited with Greg, who was at ma Jean’s trailer. He and hi buddy in town to hunt… they informed me that primitive weapon season had just opened but that they were waiting to lilt he four wild pigs they had penned until Sunday, when rifle season opened. OK. Louis and I picked wildflowers for Franco’s grave. I visited the animals’ graves, while mom (who drove down) watched Louis and they swung under roof. Louis got to ride in front seat back to house. I tell him he only gets to do such things in Ida. Back at he house, he swung more. A hornet watched us from the top of the old rusty swing set. I swear that little bug was making eye contact with me. I was wary. The donkey brayed. We giggled. He meddled around with a croquet set. Back in Sport, fish fry. Brothers came over, only boy cousins. Visited in backyard. That night, Dave and I went to see Guardians of the Galaxy. Phenomenal! Loved this movie. Saturday: Early morning argument with Dave about parenting and his earplugs. (He always puts earplugs in, which is automatically making me the parent who doesn’t get to wear earplugs, i.e., the one who has to get up with the boy.) Argument passed. Hung out with Ted on his porch. Played new songs for each other, Louis Lafitte, Buddhas Cat. Talked show stuff, politics, etc. Moved on to the grave. Sang Leadbelly songs. This year was the 24th. Danny W., Tim B., Dave R., Ted L., Leonard S., me,  a lady named Wanda added a new song to the pix, “Pick a Bale of Cotton.” I added Polly Wolly. Leonard added “Shame on Sunday.” That afternoon Dave and I had to pick up stuff for renovation at hoe Deport. We broke our diet and went to Nicky’s. It was really yummy. We resumed our argument. But lots of good stuff, too.  On Airline Hwy, we rescued another turtle! This time a loggerhead, who hissed, and smelled like sewage! We U-turned to save the little guy. Then drove back to my parents to get Louis. Then Dave, Louis and I drove to river, and hiked down a hill to let the little turtle start a new life. Night time, I went to a Rhapsody in View to watch my cousin’s choir sing. Moved me to tears, over and over.I want to be a in a choir! And I want to direct a choir. Enjoyed visiting with my aunt and uncle, Karen and John.

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Lost in the pumpkin patch

My little boy got lost today. We went to a pumpkin patch out in Hammond, caravanning with several neighborhood families. My cousin Rachel met us there, with her little boy who is 7 mos. I assumed it would be a quaint little farm, bigger than a church, but I had no idea… the parking lot looked like we were at a concert. It was packed!

Literally, seriously, there must have been over 500 kids in this massive complex of corn mazes, pumpkin patches, tents, hay bale tunnels, nature trails, and other spots of interest. Add all their adults, and you had easily over 1000 people there.

We were at the Indian teepees (complete with an Indian woman sitting in costume), when Louis disappeared. I was talking to Rachel, holding her baby, and Dave and Louis were nearby, and somehow, we all realized Louis was missing.

The phases:

Mild concern… scan the area, look for him, look for a kid wearing a black batman shirt and pants. Search the hay bales near by. Go through all the tunnels.

Concern grows… Put the baby in its stroller, and walk into every teepee. Jog over to the corn maze. Walk farther away. Keep your eye on your team, to see if they’ve found him.

We’d all split up, working in quadrants… walking further and further out… trying to find him among the throngs.

Panicking starts…. Telling yourself, “Don’t panic.” Trying to keep your breathing steady. Thinking, “He is really smart for a three year old.” Then thinking, “Oh My God! He’s THREE!” Full blown panic sets in, or maybe it’s called terror, pounding heart and ragged breathing and all.  

I started running toward the entrance/exit about 3 acres away, because at some point the little quiet dark fears at the edge of your mind, of kidnappers and pedophiles, become full-blown, frontal assaults. They take over. I started seeing the Pumpkin Patch as a terrible place full of prey. What if he were dragged into the woods, taken away through the woods? I ran to the entrance and asked the lady, “Is this place enclosed? Is there any other way out? I lost my little boy.”

She said, “We have a lost and found at the brown tent by the big house. We have two little girls and one little boy.”

I took off, without even thanking her.

And when I got there, there he was, under the tent in the shade, sitting in a chair. Not crying. Just looking serious, and kicking his feet. I told the lady standing with him, “That’s my son.” And I went around to the side and he hopped off his chair and ran to meet me, smiling, and I dropped to my knees and wrapped my arms around him. I held him, and whispered, “You were lost. What happened?” My eyes were wet. “I ran away,” he told me. “Why?” I whispered. He looked down and said, “I wanted to do something.”

I think Louis is independent and intent on activities, that he ran to what he wanted, and didn’t really “run away.” I think he ran to a new activity without paying attention to us. And when he found himself lost, thinks that he ran away. On the other hand, perhaps he was jealous that Dave and I were holding a baby, and there was a touch of manipulation in his actions. I don’t know.

I am not the kind of person to “tan his hide” over something like this, (although that is the first thing my Dad asked me if I did). When I got him back to Dave, Dave just hugged him, too.

It was an awful feeling. I don’t like the dark places my mind goes to. 

I have NO idea how the staff at the patch recognized that a little kid was lost in all that madness. They must have staff everywhere, with walkie talkies, on the lookout. I don't know if Louis went up to an adult, or was turned in. I will have to ask him.... After I found him I just worked on contacting Dave and Rachel instead of interrogating him. 

Not going back to that pumpkin patch. And maybe considering getting a GPS tracker for his shoelace. You really cannot take your eyes off this boy.... he is too fast, and maybe a little willful. Both Dave and I are, too. So he comes by it honestly.