404fmdtaejin

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdxmax​:

the laugh following his request has max hope. at least he managed to put a smile onto the senior’s lips. that in itself seemed like a pretty decent achievement already. with eyes sparkling full of hope and excitement, the idea seems more and more appealing to himself as well.

taejin was an amazing vocalist. versatile, secure in pitch, broad range; he was a dream of a vocalist to work with for sure. so when the male disclaims of having no interest in any solo works, max can’t help but furrow a brow in confusion.

“why do you say that, hyung? you guys are big enough for bc to put their signature in gold beneath any ideas of any of you going solo. the amount of money you bring the company- I doubt they’d pass up that chance. and besides- maybe getting to rebrand yourself as a solist may help you rekindle that spark of passion for what we do. music offers so many ways to let loose. don’t let the industry take that from you.”

“it’s a personal choice more than anything.” taejin rebuffs lightly, his tone flitting a notch higher as his arms cross against his chest. in reality, he knows decipher’s vocal strengths play to the tune of years on end training, early nights into late mornings — the pay off, solidarity in vocal prowess. 

but no matter how many hours he’s dedicated to the craft, it still remains an empty future of music when his heart no longer aligns with holding a pitch or extending a vibrato where it sees fit. instead, it manuevers onto the craft of reciting lines, exuding the momentary bliss of playing someone else. (still, he doesn’t get that it’s worth revealing any shrivel of honesty in this small moment).

so, taejin moves over, shuffling to the side with his head quirked left. 

“music offers a lot, but for some people — it just isn’t the answer. especially because emoting some heaviness is part of the art.” mid-response, it’s the cough from his manager that taejin can pick apart in a split second. his eyes rove past his shoulder, and his deflects into a quick nod before turning back to max. “now, i’m sorry to cut this short, but seems like my manager’s wanting to get a hold of me. good luck out there tonight, by the way.”

[404fmdtaejin]

 fmdxmax​:

in a way he feels bad for taejin. not in the sense that he pities the male- no, pity is the last thing any of them would want to receive. it’s more a feeling of empathy. to lose passion for the one thing you basically dedicated your whole youth to must feel devastating. the desire to do something for his hyung and senior, to help him ease the tension of his shoulders and re-ignite a spark.

but how?

before he could ponder over how to respond the other was changing the topic away from himself and towards max instead. in the end he can’t help but beam. “well I’m-,” he begins when an idea strikes him suddenly. what if he actually attempts to use his own passion to push the other ahead?

“actually… I’m more focused on my own goals right now. since releasing my solo album I realized how much I love writing music- not just lyrics. I’ve been working on learning how to produce and write more! I feel more comfortable writing music for others and helping them grow as artists… if that makes sense. I’d love to write a song for you too, hyung.”

taejin laughs, on the inside. the warmth of the younger idol’s words iced out by the reminder that he’s subjugated once more to the idealism that restrains his career.

then again, when has bc ever kept up the formalities of liberation? freedom doesn’t exist for idols like him, nonetheless ones with a certain niche already carved and branded across his bare bones. he knows by now, there’s no escape when every inch of his skin is sculpted from the minds of bc.

restless resentment tinged with the resentment harbored in the pit of his stomach pulls out a sigh, barely audible when he cuffs it up to another chuckle. “that’s good — nice to see you’re passionate about something, and that gold star’s giving you, what seems to be some freedom.” taejin replies, topping the smirk across his face. “a song for me? i’m sure you’d find better results with someone else. i’m not sure a solo career is ahead of me any time soon — at least, i’d hope not.”

[404fmdtaejin]

jihanfmd​:

Being in the public eye always came with this weird position of both having to keep in mind that audiences were never just one mass but many individuals with their own minds and feelings. Striking the right balance between acknowledging and respecting their audience’s intelligence and taking account of the inherent stupidity of mob mentality at the same time was difficult and Jihae still wasn’t sure they knew how to navigate that space. 

It was hard not to visibly relax after being able to hand off the question. Jihae hadn’t found it horribly difficult to answer but it felt good to be rid of at least some of the responsibility, to lean back and listen instead. They were genuinely interested in what Taejin had to say but they just as much enjoyed a moment where they didn’t have to scour their brain for the most well-spoken answer they could manage.

“Exactly,” they hummed in agreement once they were sure Taejin had expressed as much as he was going to. “One is about presenting ourselves in a way befitting of entertainers active in the public eye, the other is about serving a greater plot!” Jihae nodded. Checking their stream for reactions their eyes lit up when they caught another question. “Oh, staying in that vein! How do you prepare to get into a role, sunbae?” They handed the phone back just in case Taejin wanted to take a closer look at the exact wording.

there’s a certain adaptability he learns piece by piece. something new given in glimpses of a day — today, he learns the magnitude of origin’s own presence in the industry.

one clear look at the raging screen, the flood of comments from anonymous faces posing behind the computer. (he can’t keep up). instead, he falls back to his palms clasped in front of him, taking a deep listen in to the response — and for what it’s worth, jihan’s got two full shoulders holding him up into proper responses, figures it’s part of the origin pull.

“it’s comparing two different things, in my opinion — acting and being an idol. it all serves its role in the entertainment industry. but the more you envelop yourself in each respective path, the more you’re able to realize how entirely different they are and what it entails.” taejin adds, uncurling his fingers and taking an index finger tap to his temples. if he had it anywhere near his own opinion, idoldom was merely a stepping stone to learn the ropes of dos and don’ts in front of the camera — ironically, now it becomes the sole hindrance to his path.

taejin takes the question with poise. takes his lips, thins them out reflecting back to the restless hours, nose-deep in scripts he’s voided out. “i tend to read through a few times, see how many different sides i see to a role. then, i like to imagine the little mannerisms with each side, and see how i can translate that to my daily life before filming begins.” his mouth furls back over to a cheery grin, welcoming and warm before posing his eyes back to the screen. “and the fans are now asking how you prepared for your last role, so would you like to share?”  

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdjongho​:

it most likely had to do with the fact that maybe back in those days, jongho was so focused on the prospect of debuting that he didn’t even really consider just how difficult the idol lifestyle could be, all the way down to just standing in front of a camera to have his picture taken. that would have been the most logical explanation. “maybe i have. then again, i was quite young and naive back then. i think i was just focused on the idea of debuting that i didn’t really consider just how much goes into it.” would he have changed anything though? probably not. as difficult as being an idol was, he enjoyed it for the most part. besides - if he had never joined bc entertainment, he would have never met his hyungs. 

jongho remembered the days when he didn’t have any animosity or ill will towards bc entertainment. back when he still naively believed that they had his best interest at heart. when he believed that he could depend on them. those days were long over though. he knew what bc entertainment really wanted from him, and it wasn’t for him to be the best artist he could be. it was for him to make them as much money as possible. it was a hard pill for him to swallow at first, but he had come to terms with that fact a long time ago. “that’s what i said - but i don’t really think they’re giving me a choice in the matter. the meetings have been starting to sound a lot less like suggestions and offers and a lot more like the meetings we have when comeback season rolls around.” 

although he tried his best not to be nosy and too involved in his friends’ personal affairs, he couldn’t help but be interested in taejin’s personal life. “ah, sounds like you’re overdue for a date, hyung,” jongho teased lightheartedly. “really?” he made a face. “have they already started hinting at what kind of concept they want to give you?” 

taejin doesn’t blame jongho. doesn’t blame for the time that runs fast through the gaps between the fingers in a blink of an eye — when you grow up in front of the camera for all to gawk and see, it’s impossible to catch facets of what the a to z contract entails thirteen years past. 

“and by the time you do have the age to consider, too much time has flown by to see what you’ve signed up for.” taejin finishes the sentence, musing out loud with an empty gaze that steers straight to the blank wall in front of him. by now, he’s feeling more his age and the disparity that separates decipher from the new fresh-faces swollen in the industry. he leaves nothing more than a hefty sigh sliding past his lips, and two fingers pressed to his chin. “let’s do a cheers for your solo — at this rate, i think you and yejun are the only two able to hold up a steady solo career in music. especially with yejun’s vocals and you’re knack for dancing.” 

half a hype man, and half trying to bite back the misery that rests like a heady weight lodged in the back of his throat, taejin steadies himself back with arms crossed against his chest. “i don’t need a date.” he counters, voice nearly lifeless and lost in another repetition of a sigh. “i’m happy being single.”

or just accustomed to one deadbeat relationship to the next — career first, personal life later.

“they haven’t said anything, but my guess is as good as any others. i’d be willing to bet a ballad or a love album, you know — make more fans eat up the perfect boyfriend imagery.” 

[404fmdtaejin]

self para / olympics

summary: taejin’s watching the olympics in his spare time — archery’s a given. but swimming comes on, and he finds himself on the edge of his seat thanks to hwang sunwoo. (am i projecting? maybe, but idc! 대~~한!!!!민국!) warnings: none wc: 445

the olympics get him happy. it’s a happy place to see his country stand on the podium with the national anthem playing along as the representatives rank one.

maybe, that’s just why his eyes are on a constant state of piercing through his phone or the tv screen any time archery is on. taekwondo, it’s gone straight to the waste bin. korea, the has-beens, and the grittiness of his teeth clenching together after one lost match to another leaves him to change the channel, toss his phone and save his breath for another day. judo, same story — another thought. 

yet, when archery’s on, he watches with a cold beer nestled along the palm of his hands, air-con full-blast with nothing more than his robe and his feet propped on the table. it’s mid-day, but that doesn’t mean his sole free time doesn’t have to be marred by bc and their random scheduling. if anything, his manager will have his body back into bc studios with one van drive and a call away.

but for now, he stays happily on his sofa — leaned back, full relaxation watching his stomach crinkle together after one shot of the archery gold flipping back to the blues of the swimming pool.

he knows, there’s a race on the horizon. the new face of swimming past park tae hwan — the young freshed rookie in a sea of veterans, not expected to take the podium for any of his races. yet, taejin can’t help but feel his anticipation when the start time goes — the swimmers driving down the pool, one stroke after another. it’s the thought of patriotism lying his bones when he moves from his relaxed position to one completely tense, on the edge of his seat. 

there’s hopefulness when the swimmer takes lead for the first three laps. optimism that has his teeth biting down on his lower lip, his breath completely held and eyes barely peeking past when he can’t bare to see the results.

two minutes, and he fails to make the podium.

taejin takes defeat as if it were his own, tossing his body back and letting out that one big breath into the air. close, but not enough. but he can’t blame someone for trying — putting in each and every ounce of dedication. (in the big picture, what the hwang sunwoo accomplishes is far more than what he’s amounted to in his past years in).

a declare for support, he pulls his phone out and snaps a picture — his first instagram story in months.

despite being an idol, he still knows what it means to be a fan on the other side. 

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdyejun​:

yejun rests his elbow on his knee, while resting his chin in the palm of his hand he makes a disgruntled face. it was only apparent for a few moments but he quickly hides it behind his fingers. pretending to take a rest, he closed his eyes but if anyone would see through this, it would have been taejin; no one knew him better, they’d already spent thirteen years together.

even though yejun wasn’t a fan of the way taejin spoke about decipher, he couldn’t help but agree; a newer and fresher group would suit this better than them. 

“ apparently your alter ego is someone gluttonous, ” the thought itself made yejun laugh, he tilts his head to look at the older one while nodding; sarcasm dripping from every word that he spoke, “ i can totally see that hyung, you are clearly notorious for being gluttonous. ” who in bc thought this was a good idea? couldn’t they have given them a brand that suits their image? or were they trying to relive decipher’s debut days again, “ it suits you! ”

hearing taejin say they should just deal with, leaves a bitter taste in his mouth; one would think, when you were years into their careers they would have more power over their concepts but no, “ i still think your alterego is better than mine, shy and timid… who? ”

it’s ridiculous.

he’s thought this many times before. rewound his mind, and read over the lines — rote memorization, and it still doesn’t slot into place anywhere near what the reality holds. taejin’s brows knit together, softening at the admission of it suits you. “i’m starting to think the ceo of this company has no idea who decipher is, nor took any time to get to know us.” his voice mirrors the sarcasm, a languid drawl of his voice right on beat with the roll of his eyes. “either that, or they took our personalities and decided to make the polar opposite alter egos. gluttonous? who could classify me as gluttonous?” 

now, kim taejin has lost his cool. incredulity yanks his mouth wide open, exasperation taking precedence as he waves his arms out in the open. 

they should just deal with it — he should learn to gnaw on his own words. yet, when gluttony cuts right into his own persona he’s carved out for him self, that’s when it all topples over.

taejin steadies himself with a deep breath, eyes closed and palms pressed right to the empty air that separates the two. “you know what — i’ll take it. gluttony. i’m gluttonous, kim taejin you’re okay.” words of affirmation leaves him at a makeshift tranquil state, peeking his eyes past the blinds of his lids. “however, just saying, i wouldn’t mind a shy and timid over gluttonous.”

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdxmax​:

“the one and only!” max can do little but return the grin given to him. he relates well to the unspoken dissatisfaction with a hectic schedule, a lack of decision making and the lack of perspective beyond the flashy name of a band associated with you. a label, a persona slapped onto who you are supposed to be, who you are seen as and who you are to present as long as your name remained above the dotted line.

years of their youth offered to commerce, money-hungry sharks feasting off teenagers dreams and ambitions. but while one could clearly see all the wrongs with these type of structures, in the end it did benefit them all one way or another. max knew that when his time had come he could resign or not resign but his name, his influence, the impact given to him by the years of being origin’s max wouldn’t disappear and only help him forward. yes, he let himself get feasted on but now he was harvesting the fruits of his labor, his passion and his  ambitions. 

“no more itch left when thinking about performing? been a tough month, huh,” he inquires casually while letting himself flop down beside the other.

the excitement pooled into max’s voice forces taejin to give an ode out of politeness, a weak laugh dimmed by the curve slung across his face. if anyone still found any enjoyment in this, he assumes — it’s best to see it face-first with the top of the industry than anywhere else.

two hands, each shoved in his pockets, he roves over the younger idol once more before taking a look around the room. “the itch has long subsided long ago.” taejin murmurs, voice nearly a whisper as if it’d break the peace. “it’s been a rough year, or a rough past five years.” it feels freeing, the concession slipping off his chest as he waves the white flag loud and clear in the room. a first in a while, to a near stranger, and it leaves him standing with a doleful smirk smudged against his features.

“but — i don’t mean to be a damper on anyone’s parade.” taejin quickly follows up, bringing his smirk higher and tone too light for comfort. in any case, he’d never want to burden any of those who still had any sort of flame left collecting in their eyes. “how’s origin these days? if you’d like to share, of course. feels like the last i’ve spoken to any of your members was years ago before you all took over the global sphere.” 

[404fmdtaejin]

durifmd​:

duri nodded his head towards the question. “it is! it’s not something we’re able to control. so, why are they berating us?” he protested, before a giggle would leave his lips. but, truthfully, it was out of duri’s control nonetheless. knight fans obviously wouldn’t go for anyone being married and not to mention, duri is very gay, so there was also that factor. 

he probably have a bit of stubbornness himself, even if it didn’t seem like it. but, everyone had a bit of stubbornness tendencies, didn’t they? it really just seemed to be human nature at work, after all. “hey, some people might want to!” he jokes, before he’s giggling again. “ah, i don’t think you’re becoming much of a stubborn old man. what makes you think that?” he asked a bit curiously. 

he giggles again, nodding his head. “i think the volunteering that i do isn’t for everyone! but, i always find it a lot of fun!”

“because we stand on stage and people don’t like to look at us as regular people — then again, we live far different lives than the rest of the population.” taejin counters, leaving a shrug to the afterthought. years in a haze, running past the fingertip vision of the audience, only leaves him as the product. everyone else a bystander observer.

but right on cue, duri’s joke garners a laugh out of his thoughts, outward and back into the situation when he takes the complement a bit more than what’s given at face value. “thank you — but i’ve found myself talking to some of the younger bc kids, and telling them stories of my time when i was in their shoes. if that doesn’t scream old and stubborn, i don’t know what does.” defeat comes in waving a white flag, knowing that he can’t reclaim his age nor reverse the effects — instead, kim taejin chooses to relish in this moment. 

standing tall and straightening out his spine, he drops his arms to his side to turn a pointed look at duri. “do you usually volunteer even when you have busy schedules or just on free days?”

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdjiah​:

Jiah purses her lips and shrugs. What else was she supposed to do, is the question that pops into her head. There’s nothing she could do, and there’s no bright solution that Taejin wouldn’t have thought about at this point. “People do seem to swoon over you nowadays, despite your grumpy face. And that must bring you good opportunities, no?”

Jiah makes a displeased sound in the back of her throat and hides her scowl behind her glass, “don’t remind me. Just like with my real family, my relationship with this one we share is a bit strained, as well.” Although not a lie, Jiah admits to herself that it was a little bit dramatic as well. There’s no way BC is worse than her dad, at least they have been present for the past decade. “Don’t rain on my manager’s parade. I don’t think he had time to date at all in the past ten years, and it’s a miracle he’s not resentful. I can’t think of anything to help your manager though, unfortunately, unless something huge happens and your career shifts 180º.” 

“it brings me the wrong opportunities — forced opportunities, if you catch my drift.” it’s a concession that trails off the tip of his tongue as he lets out a sigh of defeat. the public praise only surmounts to a cesspool of disappointment and career ventures that never match his expectations.

taejin sighs once more, the grim bearer of a gray cloud at a company event. it’s a rare sight to be seen — nonetheless, expected when his career holds at the bottom of the wishing well, thirteen years in. “that sounds like a terrible one — is there something bc has done to you as of late?”  he arches a brow, suspicion lining the brim of his words. “it’s a miracle that all of bc’s managers aren’t resentful of the company. it shocks me that any of them have social lives in the first place with how booked and busy we are on the constant.” truth, and his years have been nothing but a full-raging rollercoaster. no stops, no adjustment. just the loud public outcry settling the rhythm of one quick paced schedule to the next. 

[404fmdtaejin]

aesthetic & playlist / bc entertainment

summary: taejin’s called bc his “home” since 2007. extending a contract, he’s seen bc go through the transformations within the company, being an artist signed for over a decade. seniority doesn’t cause him to rarely frequent the buildings — in fact, it causes him to be more around than not, meaning he knows the buildings now better than ever than he had ever in the past. playlist summary: after a stint where taejin was caught lip syncing for most of decipher’s stages, he’s been forced (or so at least he thinks that’s the reasoning) to step into bc doors for some extra vocal training. he feels like he’s back in the seat of a trainee, coming through the doors more than twice a week to get vocal lessons / learn to sing covers of songs to get his voice back in sharp shape. this playlist contains the songs that the bc vocal trainers have him singing, over and over again. whether it’s to familiarize him with bc artists or just punish him, he just knows vocal lessons aren’t fun at all.

1. 너를 만나 — 태용 / me after you — taeyong (원곡: 폴킴 / paul kim) 2. 꽃 — 두리 / flower — duri (원곡: 첸 / chen) 3. 야생화 — 다이 / wildflower — dai (원곡: 박효신 / park hyoshin) 4. made in you — 다이 / dai (원곡: 수호 / suho) 5. all of my life — 두리 / duri (원곡: 박원 / park won) 6. 홀로 — 지아 / holo — jiah (원곡: 이하이 / lee hi) 7. 눈 코 입 — 태용 / eyes nose lips — taeyong (원곡: 태양 / taeyang)

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdmeme002 — no longer accepting

thank you to @fmdjeonghwa @eriifmd @suweixfmd @fmdjaein @fmdjiah @miraefmd for sending! 

1. what is your goal for this year/next year?

“realistically — i want to act again, the hiatus in acting has been too long. if we’re dreaming bigger, then ideally, i’d want to finally achieve my dream of winning a baeksang award or a blue dragon.” taejin begins, but he knows well by know, voicing anything further becomes another stump to the fans’ outcry. “also, maybe venture out into a solo career? maybe that’d be fun.”

2. what song would you want to sing to or play for someone you like?

“it sounds cheesy, but i think i’d sing my own song — that’s okay. i feel like when people have hard times, the easiest thing to do is to say, are you okay? but the words that actually come to calm the heart is that’s okay, and that it’s okay not to be okay sometimes. i’d hope my voice would bring comfort to the person i like.”

3. what’s your favorite scent?

”over the years, i’ve changed up my cologne. however, when i find something I like, i become stubborn and stick with it for far too long. lately, i’ve been liking another 13 by le labo, and pairing that with blanche by byredo. it serves a very clean, fresh scent that i think is universal.”

4. if you spent one day with a fan, where would you go and what would you do?

“i’d want to cook a nice meal for them. although my cooking skills in basic food isn’t that great, my fine dining cooking skills, or i’ve been told, are good. plus, there’s nothing more than what my mother says about showing your appreciation for someone by cooking them a good meal — then, maybe end the day talking about the struggles my fan might have, and see if i could be of any help.”

5. what new concept do you want to try showing fans?

decipher’s been in the field too long, to the point where taejin racks his mind, flitting through one thought to another of a concept they haven’t tried. mind a million, he draws blank. instead, curves his mouth into a coy grin, “i’d want to do something popular amongst our fans, and see what they want to see. if i had it my way, i’d want to do another concept like view.”

6. which girl group do you like the most recently?

this question’s a no-brainer when taejin’s eyes open up, the new bc group coming to his head. “chroma. they’re the newest to the bc family, and i’d love for everyone to show them the love they deserve. they’re very talented, and really carry on the position of bc class. there are big things ahead, so please open your hearts to them too.”

7. which boy group do you like the most recently?

“boy groups...” taejin starts off, voice tapering as his eyes reach to the corner of the room. the bc ones he’s recommended time and time again, so by this instance, he leaves it to a ‘get out of jail free pass’ in the form of another company. “vive? vive has been doing good things in gold star, and they remind me of decipher’s earlier days.”

8. what soloist do you like the most recently?

“i’ve been listening to duri’s solo comeback a lot recently. he’s come back with a ballad, and i think it’s perfect for the colder summer nights. if not duri’s, i also like listening to old yoon jong shin songs since his monthly project allows for all of us to find a song we need to hear.” taejin replies, the music he listens to lately is strictly pop-summer, soloists void. so, he gives the best he can — ballads the only thing in mind.

9. what song have you been listening to a lot that you would recommend to fans?

”i’ve been listening to attention by shinee. it’s a really fun track, and i think it’s one of the songs i’m jealous another group has gotten to release. from the fun chorus, to the house sounds — it’s got it all. i recommend everyone to listen to it when they need a bit of brightness in their dull day.”

10. what is your most used app?

taejin’s a hag — too old for his own good. when his phone screen plops down with only kakao messages and random business texts, it no longer becomes the digital escape it once was. “hm..” he trails off, fishing his mind to find something with a morsel of entertainment. “lately, netflix? when i’m on the go, it’s fun to watch shows from one shcedule to another.”

11. what should someone do to win your heart?

“be yourself — it’s cheesy, but i don’t like anyone who doesn’t have a genuine personality. i like people for who they are, and when you fall in love, even the bad becomes lovable. so, i’d want someone to just stay true to themselves and work hard, not letting the rest of the world affect them. that’s charming.”

12. what do you want for your next birthday?

“i stopped accepting fan gifts long ago, and i still don’t want to accept them. i appreciate the gestures, but it’s more the thought that counts rather than anything else. however, what i would want is a handmade cake, or something sentimental — that stuff is priceless. priceless gifts cannot be matched.”

13. what do you consider to be your most charming feature/trait?

“i would say.. my dry humor?” taejin looks up, awkwardly cracking a grin, peeking his teeth through. “i’m not very funny, and when i try, i get told time to time that the dad-jokes and the non-funny awkwardness is charming. other than that, the only thing i could say is my height?”

14. what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

taejin’s not an ice-cream eater. hasn’t been from the second the golden spoon touched his mouth — the convenient store 500 won ice creams being a tale. yet, the trainee years proved him wrong when he learned to find the small joys in small moments. “bibibig? is that old of me?” taejin laughs, swiping the rest of his signature across the page.  

15. how should i ask out the person i like?

“you should find a special moment where it’s quiet and just the two of you. then, you can confess your feelings in a genuine way. if that’s too much, then write a letter as i think words can sometimes convey more than speaking out loud. do not overthink it, and i’m rooting for you.”

16. what’s the secret behind your good looks?

taejin lets out a dry chuckle, running his hands through his hair as he shakes his head back then forth. a ten-step care routine, and weekly sessions with his dermatologist — but he doesn’t let the fan know right in. instead, he alludes to another side, looking her straight in the eyes. “taking care of myself, eating vitamins and working out. you need to feel mentally good to look physically good.”

17. what do you think of fans of the same gender as you?

“i don’t think of them any differently — a lot of them call me hyung, and i’m glad i can be that figure of them. i’d like to thank them for sticking alongside me as i’m aware most of my fanbase is the opposite gender, but nonetheless i’m always thankful for the support. whatever gender, fans are always the fans that hold me high up. i hope i can continue to fill the expectations they have.”

18. what is the most recent thing that made you happy?

to be frank, kim taejin’s been strung thin — transparency that has him fatigue, no longer in tune with his mind and body. and, when the question is asked, he can barely recall what he had for breakfast yesterday. “i would say being with my members? one of them cracked a joke and it was nice to remember we haven’t changed our bond despite growing older.” a clean-cut safe answer.

19. what is your happiness level these days on a scale from 0 to 100?

honesty would put it at a 30 — a growing distaste for bc’s tyranny. yet, he still has to maintain a front, a clean and polite image engrained that has him shuffling in his seat, quirking his head one way. “i would say 80? i’m tired, but i can’t complain. i’ve made it this far into my career, and i’m still busy.”

20. can you give some inspiring words for someone going through a hard time?

“even when the world seems against you, know i am by your side. not only me, but the people that love you.” he takes a deep look into the camera, eyes pooling that sympathetic sheen. “you can get through this. so, let’s get through this together.”

21. what words of advice would you give to someone studying for their college exam?

“it’s a tough exam, and i know that stress in inevitable. however, please take care of yourself along the way — eat well, and do things that make you happy in between studying. the long wait is almost over, and you only have a few more months before you can find freedom again. power through, i’m rooting for you all!”

22. give yourself a percent ranking from 0 to 100 in the following categories: cute, cool, and sexy.

humility is a curse during times like these, and sheepishness drives his eyes away — skin tinting a shade of pink when he dryly coughs. “i would say, -10 for cool. i’m not cool, and my jokes are outdated — people call me uncle taejin all the time now. cute — maybe 10? i’m too old, and i’ve stopped hearing cute after lucifer. sexy? i don’t like to rank myself as sexy, but since i’m more sexy than cute or cool, i’d give myself a 20.”

23. what place do you want to travel to the most?

“lately, i want to travel to south america. i heard it’s beautiful and so much to see. i haven’t been to south america recently, but it would be nice to experience the culture and the people there. perhaps, during my next break — i’ll see if it’s viable to go there. so, please do give me recommendations.”

24. what language would you like to learn?

“english — idols these days are so smart and they pick up on the english pronunciation and words so quickly. in my day, we didn’t have that focus, so my english is barely elementary. i’d like to speak in english to communicate with my foreign fans. plus, it’s used everywhere so i can see it come in handy more ways than one.”

25. what is the first thing you think of when someone mentions your fans?

“the greatest fans in the world. they are the most loving and supportive group of people, and they always support me in all of my endeavors. i’m eternally grateful for them, and i don’t think they’re comparable to any other fans in the world.”

26. what is your favorite movie/book you’ve seen/read recently?

“i don’t read as much as i should.” a half-truth spoken when reading forces a loss of focus, and he’d always been visually driven through film and media. “but i watched i can speak, and that movie put me in tears. it’s a movie about a very strong topic that is important in this country and na moon-hee did a great job in delivering.” 

27. what are your recent wishes?

to get time off, to act, and maybe leave bc. but those words die out, the second he parts his lips and nods. “recently, i’ve been wishing i could speak more languages and travel more. i’ve been in seoul for so long that i could use some eye-opening exposures to other cultures and people.” 

28. what are the requirements for your ideal type?

“i don’t have an ideal type.” taejin lies right there, looking the fan dead in the eye with the sickening sweet grin and doe-eyed look. “everyone has their own charms, and that’s the beauty of being human. having a check-list of ideal type is kind of cruel, don’t you think?”

29. what job would you want if you weren’t an idol?

easy — he’d been a minion underneath his father’s company until it was time to pick up the administrative reins on his own. however, public discretion leaves his family at a security, no-touch topic. so, he mulls over other options, pausing at acting. “i’d be an actor or a health trainer, but i think jongho has me beat on the latter.”

30. what is a hobby you’d like to pick up?

“i hear ceramics is fun from the people around me — though, i’m not too good with making things with my hands. so, let me try again. with the olympics going on, lately, i’ve been really invested in archery. perhaps, i’d take archery lessons to see if i could at least score a 6 average. what do you think?”

[404fmdtaejin]

headcanon & aesthetics / olympics

summary: the olympics happen every four years and kim taejin is a 애국자 (patriot??) aka someone who loves his country very much to the point where he watches the olympics religiously. however, he only watches a subset of sports, and the olympics become the rare time periods where he uses his social media to shout out the athletes for their stride and true dedication representing the country. hc for elaboration. warnings: gun tw, weapon tw wc:  700ish

oddly enough, taejin is one who enjoys the summer olympics more than the winter olympics. though he does love short track skating in the winter — but aside from that his main enjoyment watching comes during the summer time

he’s been exposed to many athletes at a young age? only because he used to be taught one on one lessons by these national representatives — his parents come from money, thus the tutoring came from these people who excelled in their sports. so, from a young age he’s had an appreciation for the sports that south korea has excelled at

his focus on these specific sports come from the broadcasting stations — aka, sbs, kbs and mbc all air the olympics. yet, each time they only air the same sport at the same time. ex) taekwondo only gets broadcasted across all three, and there’s barely any variety lmao

the first sport that he loves watching is judo. judo and taekwondo, mainly because he feels some sense of pride that taekwondo originated in korea and for the past, korea has excelled at it. not to say, this year he’s felt like complete shit over how taekwondo’s happening in tokyo because korea can’t get their shit together. but in past years, he’s enjoyed watching korea do well. the barbaric nature? of body on body combat is fun to watch as a bystander, and taejin appreciates the worth ethic that goes into it.

fencing is more personal? because he did fence at a point in his childhood, and this ultimately made him know how the sports work / how meticulous each movement has to be. when he watches fencing, you can be he’s the type of viewer to yell “nice!” after each good play and maybe cuss when there becomes an evident bad play.

archery is something korea’s always excelled at? and they’re just so spot on all the time — this and shooting. these two with the precision becomes a fun thing to watch because taejin knows he could never do it and they make it look so easy. plus, it just feels really great basically watching knowing korea’s bound to win with how good they are. with tokyo and how judo / taekwondo is going, archery is his saving grace to watch and calm down

men’s artistic gymnastics — he enjoys because there’s an aspect of calisthenics he now recognizes after he’s started work out with. knows there’s a lot of strength that goes into it — plus, the one gold medal they’ve gotten from yang hak seon shows promising future for korea, even if it’s just vault. (taejin only watches the vault finals tbf lmao) 

swimming used to be fun because taejin also swam for a bit. plus, he used to work out and use swimming as cardio. however, it must be said that he’s stopped finding enjoyment once park taehwan started plummeting and losing his touch. though he’s still proud and has reached out to park taehwan personally because he’s in awe / respectful of what he’s done for swimming. HOWEVER, that being said, this year taejin’s gotten back into watching swimming because of hwang sun woo — there might be hope for south korea in the swimming races.

soccer is kind of self spoken? taejin’s an avid soccer watcher (chelsea fan for club team) but when it comes to olympics / world cup, he’s always rooting for korea and goes crazy. this is peak taejin in hyper focus, even when the younger generation represents the country. ofc, it’d be nice to see son heungmin play here, but son heungmin doesn’t need the olympics when he’s too busy being center star of tottenham <3 anyways, taejin never has high hopes for korea in the olympics knowing they always get beat, hence why he raises expectations for world cup (but that’s another hc in itself). 

basically the takeaway is that he has fun watching soccer > archery > taekwondo > judo > fencing > swimming > men’s vault

also a nice shout out to kim yeon kyeong and the korean women’s volleyball team!! taejin has kept up with that as of late and after that killer defeat against japan, he hopes at the very least they’ll medal.  

perhaps in another life he would’ve trained to become an athlete representative with how much fun he has watching these, and how giddy he gets cheering for korea.

total 애국자!! 

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdjongho​:

jongho couldn’t help but huff out an exasperated, over exaggerated sigh. he knew that taejin was right, but that didn’t mean that he was willing to accept logic or that he wanted an honest answer. he just wanted to be able to complain, which he was lucky that the older male tended to let him do within reason. “no one told me when we were trainees that standing in front of a camera would be so tiring.” then again, he was only fourteen at the time. he was too busy focusing on the fact that he would even be taking part in photoshoots, not how long or strenuous they could be.

he took his phone into his hand, already knowing what food he was going to order for himself. and for taejin too, of course. he didn’t want to leave his hyung out, especially when he was using his phone and credit card information to order said food. “thanks, hyung.” he couldn’t keep the smile off of his face. it was nice knowing that he had taejin there to take care of him. it was also nice knowing that he still viewed jongho how he always had, even if jongho pretended that it annoyed him. if he were being honest, he was just enjoying being babied for as long as he could. he knew that one day the attention would stop. his relationships and dynamics with his hyungs wouldn’t end, but he’d get to a point where he’d be too old to be babied. 

he began tapping away at the screen, ordering something for himself and something for taejin as well. and he’d share with their members if they wanted to eat too. he scrunched up his nose at his ‘almost thirty’ comment. “nothing really.. the higher ups have been pulling me into meetings. they want me to debut solo. they say they already have songs and stuff pulled that could work for me, i don’t have to do any writing or producing… i just don’t want to. i already have decipher and champion, i don’t need solo music.” he sighed. “personal life? nothing going on there, trust me.”  he gave him a look. “what about you, hyung?”

“then, i’m going to assume you’ve forgotten the hours of time we put into practicing the camera.” taejin jokes, half-heartedly when he reminisces of his reflection, ten years younger, sitting down in front of a straightaway of cameras — learning which sides, which angles, which lighting all becomes variables to learn when he stands on stage.

taejin keeps his eyes on the youngest member, eyes nearly doting, pooling that warm-hearted touch akin to a father. because whatever time and place, they’ve got history — and that sort of history’s cemented for the books. lesson one he’s learned: before anyone else, his members come first, void of any pretenses laid in by bc. so, when he hears bc pull their own strings in jongho’s career, he scrunches up his face, lies his mouth down to a grimace as sympathy pools his eyes. “solo music after pulling you into champion? looks like bc hasn’t stopped its tyranny entirely upon the oldies in the company.” there’s nothing more he can say, no words to curve over the rough patches of bc’s mantra: overwork 101. especially not while he sails the same sinking ship.

taejin heaves a sigh, places a palm on his lap, the other arm resting on the crook of the chair. “as for me — personal wise, i haven’t had a personal life since 2015. business wise, bc’s marched me around a solo fansigning tour and they’re holding off on any acting projects to listen to the fans. as our manager has hinted, i think i might also be venturing solo music too.” 

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdxsuji​:

suji’s aware that idol actors have always had a bad reputation, but she thinks it’s gotten a little better around the time that she made her acting debut. perhaps it was because of the minor role she took on and the image making that gold star did prior to her accepting it, but the negative feedback wasn’t unbearable. she also thinks that credit should be given to people like taejin who were one of the first to step into acting. he’s proven himself to be more than the idol label which has caused people to be a bit less critical. or so she thinks.

“most of my lines were medical terms too so i would always be scared of messing them up. it wasn’t easy trying to memorize lines about neurological surgery,” she says with a slight chuckle. her eyes grow wide when he mentions the project that she had appeared in. “thank you. that means a lot,” she adds and she genuinely means it. “i don’t think i’ll be doing another role but it was still a nice experience.” 

the atmosphere shifts from complete awkwardness to feeling a little more comfortable for suji as evident by the natural laugh that leaves her lips this time around. “you think so? promoting seoul is quite a large task so i guess i can see that. i’m just much better at singing than acting so it’s better for me.”

medical terms, and he thinks maybe in another life if he had been blessed in brains, he’d have some realm of dipping his feet in the pools of medicine. but, that was only imagination — reality would have him one of two ways: an idol, or continuing the tradition of nepotism, taking handle of his family’s company.

lucky or not, he’s chosen the former.

but he still turns to suji, understanding nod in tow when his hands fall to his lap. “i mean — if you really wanted advice, not that you asked. next time in a role like that, i’d suggest hiring an actual neurological surgeon to help you out there. it’s what i did when i hired a pd to follow around before my roles.” taejin replies, and maybe in a sense, it’d been another step. but seriousness in any sense of his career calls for shots like these where his heart’s actually at the centerfold of his work.

too much enjoyment doesn’t last long, least not when he’s sitting knee deep inside seoul promotions. that bemoans the last of his worries, shown when his tone falsifies a sense of optimism, turning on a grin across his face. “vice versa for me —if i could just have starred in the music video rather than lend my voice, i think i’d be much happier. but bc doesn’t necessarily take into account when the public demands my career one way.”

[404fmdtaejin]

famedroleplay​:

famedkrp fan sign meme

send a number for the question to be answered with an in-character response in the context of a post-it note or a verbal question from a fan at a group or solo fan sign. the answer given to the fan does not have to be entirely honest and should be public image appropriate. the intention of the meme is to explore a muse’s public image and interactions with fans! many of these questions were taken from real life idol-fan fan sign interactions.

please tag answers with #fmdmeme002. every 6 questions answered with a minimum of four sentences can count for 2 points on your points tracker (please link the fmdmeme002 tag on your blog to validate the points on your tracker) up to a maximum of 10 points. each question may only count toward points once.

please do your best to send a message to everyone who reblogs the meme and if someone sends you a number or numbers, please send some back to them. you must be sending numbers to other members if others have reblogged the meme recently to collect your points.

what is your goal for this year/next year?

what song would you want to sing to or play for someone you like?

what’s your favorite scent?

if you spent one day with a fan, where would you go and what would you do?

what new concept do you want to try showing fans?

which girl group do you like the most recently?

which boy group do you like the most recently?

what soloist do you like the most recently?

what song have you been listening to a lot that you would recommend to fans?

what is your most used app?

what should someone do to win your heart?

what do you want for your next birthday?

what do you consider to be your most charming feature/trait?

what is your favorite flavor of ice cream?

how should i ask out the person i like?

what’s the secret behind your good looks?

what do you think of fans of the same gender as you?

what is the most recent thing that made you happy?

what is your happiness level these days on a scale from 0 to 100?

can you give some inspiring words for someone going through a hard time?

what words of advice would you give to someone studying for their college exam?

give yourself a percent ranking from 0 to 100 in the following categories: cute, cool, and sexy.

what place do you want to travel to the most?

what language would you like to learn?

what is the first thing you think of when someone mentions your fans?

what is your favorite movie/book you’ve seen/read recently?

what are your recent wishes?

what are the requirements for your ideal type?

what job would you want if you weren’t an idol?

what is a hobby you’d like to pick up?

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdyejun​:

一 CLOSED STARTER for ❛ @fmdtaejin​​​ ❜      ↳ Q3 SCHEDULE, spoonz mv shooting

yejun had made sure of one thing, that when the staff and crew looked at him; he would appear cheerful but in reality, this was the kind of concept that he thought decipher wasn’t really suited to do anymore. sure it would be great fanservice, their fans would most likely love this一 seeing their mature idols, doing this.

he lets out a long sigh and sits next to taejin, they had written the song together一 yejun had taken charge when recording but it still didn’t mean that he liked the concept, it was a fun experience but “ aren¨t we a little old to be doing this? ” he says, tilting his head over to look at taejin for a moment, brows lifted before he tunrs back to look at the set.

it was cute.

everything about it was cute.

yejun is known amongst the members and fans as someone that can’t act cute, even though everyone says he acts cute naturally一 he doesnt get it, “ no matter how i look at this, we shouldn’t be doing this. hyung aren’t we thirty already? ”

so he whines to taejin about it, its usually what he does being the 2nd oldest it was his privilege to whinie to him, but also to hear out taejin when he was struggling, even if they were two yearaa apart; they’d trained together and been idols for thirteen years already, that two year difference felt insignificant now.

age has a number but schedules don’t.

not when he’s past the thirty mark, and promotions have him smack dab middle of some childhood ploy, straightening out the wrinkles in lieu of not fitting any concept at hand. 

when taejin’s finally given a saving breath in a form of a break, exasperation runs in the form of a mini-fit, his head thrown back on the chair, sloppy execution of his posture and palms pressed against his face. there’s a voice that calls not too far, too familiar that it runs like family at this point. “we’re old, we’ve been old. the only people that don’t know this appears to be bc.” taejin sarcastically replies when he slips a peek past his fingers towards his own member.

“we shouldn’t be doing this, but logistically speaking, what top brand wants to hire a group like ours who are old news?” it’s a question with no answer — no answers given when the obvious is all that dictates each small step of their careers. old and consistent, and bc will take what they can get. “i’m almost mid-thirties, and i’m still supposed to have an alterego of some sorts? looks like bc hasn’t done much to get caught up, so we do what we always have done thus far — deal with it.”

[404fmdtaejin]

fmdjongho​:

it had taken jongho quite some time to actually get used to being on camera, especially by himself. there was still a level of discomfort there, but it had gotten to the point where he didn’t experience an overwhelming sense of dread every time he had to have pictures of himself taken. in fact, he could even find the fun in a lot of the photoshoots he had to take part in. like the spoonz photoshoot - it was something he could have fun with and show off the brighter, more playful side of his personality. 

the fun didn’t last as long as it could have though, especially when the hours began to drag by and he became more and more aware of the fact that he hadn’t had anything to eat. his mood had steadily started to decline until eventually, he couldn’t even force a smile on his face anymore. although he did crack a slight smile when taejin didn’t immediately try to shrug him off when he splayed himself out against his back. it was nice to know that he wasn’t too old or too big to be supported by his hyung - literally. 

his smile was immediately wiped away when he heard taejin’s answer, and he sighed under his breath, grumbling unintelligibly to himself. “a few hours? but we’ve already taken so many pictures,” he huffed, rolling his eyes. he smiled brightly at his offer, nudging his cheek against taejin’s before he pulled away, stepping around the taller’s form so that they were face to face. “who would i be to deny an offer of food?” he held out his hand for the other’s phone. “even if they did care, i don’t. i’m too hungry to eat just a salad right now.”

taejin’s body knows one reaction before his thoughts catch up — instinct causes his hand to slip into his pocket, pull out his phone straight to baedal minjok and right into the palm of the maknae. 

“you already know how photoshoots work. we put in hours even if the photographer has already claimed whatever pictures they’re going to use for spoonz.” taejin replies, taking in a deep breath. despite how many years past, it’s the memories and years engrained in each and every schedule. despite the ages, and the physical difference, jongho remains nothing more than the middle school silhouette inside his memories. “food’s on me, so order yourself whatever you want — chicken, pizza, jjajjangmyun, or everything.” his lips furl into a grin, easy to give into anything jongho requests.

because at the end of the day, that’s all he’s ever known. the leader duties, decipher or not force him to always extend his arms over whatever request at whatever time.

when he peels his gaze away to the corner of the room, he holds his chin up high. “also, what have you been doing lately? i feel like we never speak about schedules. just because you’re almost thirty doesn’t mean you can stop talking about your personal life.”