420-calories-blog - Tumblr blog

[420-calories-blog]

Sometimes self care is studying for that test. Sometimes it’s cleaning your room. Sometimes it’s having that conversation you’re afraid of having, confront that person you’re afraid to confront. Sometimes it’s not just wrapping yourself up in a blanket and relaxing. Sometimes instead, it’s taking action against the problem.

[420-calories-blog]

ED/Disordered Eating Aesthetic

-Having to stand up slowly to avoid nearly passing out, yet you still pass out sometimes -One days low weight is a triggering high weight the next day -Who needs food when you can survive off of water and the sheer pain of isolation? -The jeans you bought last month don’t fit anymore due to weight loss/gain -A closet full of cute clothes, but you only wear baggy pants and sweaters -Freezing during the summer -The bathroom is your new bff since you’ve pretty much shoved all of your friends away -Short hair cuts and beanies to hide hair loss -No eye makeup ever because purging will ruin it -Bloating after a little bit of food -Puffy cheeks and headaches from purging -Debilitating cramps from laxatives, so bad that you might think you’re dying -Your daily mood decided by that wretched number -All day spent planning your intake -Being near trigger foods making you cry or binge or both -No one notices your problem because you’re of average weight/ wear baggy clothes -Pro ana makes you nauseous, but at the same time there’s something in you that wants to follow those dumb “ABC diets” -Gaining weight is a death sentence -All of your other mental illnesses get amplified

I’ll add more eventually

[420-calories-blog]

“You’re so pretty today. It looks like you haven’t eaten in two weeks tho.” And just like that I knew, I’m doing the right thing.

[420-calories-blog]

“The goal weight you entered is below a healthy weight for someone of your height and age.”

[420-calories-blog]

I think my body overreacted. All I did was starve myself for 24 hrs, collapsing is a bit much. Such a drama queen.

[420-calories-blog]

I’m REALLY fucking over feeling unattractive because I’m not skinny

[420-calories-blog]

o c e a n//instagram@vepportilla

[420-calories-blog]

Personal Post:

Knowing that I gained all my weight back makes me feel as if I have lost control of everything. I can't focus, I'm frustrated and distant. I can't even stand to see myself naked, I'm disgusting.

[420-calories-blog]

What doesn’t kill you gives you a lot of unhealthy coping mechanisms and a really dark sense of humor.

[420-calories-blog]

⚪️ stressed ⚪️ depressed ⚪️ dead inside 🔘 all of the above

[420-calories-blog]

Me: ugh im like so hungry

Ana: drink some water ;)

Me: im actually craving something

Ana: like what

Me: idk like waffles a hamburger cherries pies bananas cheddar pasta pizza bread jam sushi yakisoba ramen 2 whole coconuts 5 truckLOADS OF CHIPS 50 BASKETS OF FRENCH FRIES THE KITCHEN SINK THE NEIGHBOR’S FIRST BORN CHILD and a little bit of ketchup

Ana: … bitch what the fuck

[420-calories-blog]

Waking up and seeing I lost 2 pounds overnight is WAY more satisfying than eating so why do I even binge? It’s not worth it. Ever.

[420-calories-blog]

Instagram is depressing. I prefer tumblr where everyone is upfront about their misery and constant desire to die

[420-calories-blog]

Expect the best in life and you will get it.

[420-calories-blog]

[420-calories-blog]

[420-calories-blog]

*walks by a bag of chips*

*breathes in too hard*

*accidentally inhales the whole bag*

well fuck