47secondstoturntopage23

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*hugs self* ace/aro solidarity

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life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

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Gilgamesh Thena qpr supremacy

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if people could respect aroace people for 5 seconds and not turn us and our canon characters into discourse that would be like super cool

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craving romance as an aro

we hear a lot about the ‘never understood the appeal of romance’ type of aromanticism, but what about the other side? the aros who always loved the idea of romance, the symbols, everything. the aros who dated many people, looking for that spark that they see in movies and fanfiction and poetry, but just never felt it, and were left discouraged. the ones who still look within themselves for any sign of romantic attraction any time that they meet someone new, and feel guilty for falling victim to amatonormativity. the bitterness that can creep in when friends get together, feeling envy in knowing that that feeling isn’t possible for them.

for me, this experience is exactly why I am so thankful for the aromantic community. surrounding myself with stories of qprs, non partnered aro people, etc, who are happy and able to make a life that isn’t lacking anything, helps me to slowly but surely unlearn that ideal that I idolized for so long.

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TV show writer: I have made a romance.

Me: You fucked up a perfectly good friendship is what you did. Look at it. It's got amatonormativity.

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yall the point of aros speaking out about amatonormativity is not to shame you for wanting a romantic relationship. it’s not to shame you for having a romantic relationship be an important goal or milestone for you

it’s simply to say that specifically a central, exclusive, amorous relationship is not wanted by all, and should not be an expectation for all or even most in our society. it should not be a legally incentivized status, it’s frustrating when it’s the only thing people talk about regarding your favorite media, and removing even a single word from the definition creates a type of relationship that is heavily scrutinized

it’s ok to want that kind of relationship. however I also think it’s important to think about why. if it’s something you want simply because it’s expected, because you don’t know what else you’d do or what your life would look like without it.. maybe that’s something to explore. and if you determine that it’s something you truly want. that’s ok

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My good people, I give you: Amatonormativity.

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/travel/2021/06/07/wheelchair-scooter-damage-airplane-flights/

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Also, reminder that the aroace community shouldn’t have to fight this hard to see one singular piece of representation in mainstream media. Us non-aro/ace individuals are witnessing this fight from a place of privilege, and while we can (and should) empathise and support, we will never truly understand how difficult this is for the aroace community.

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Yelena Belova is CONFIRMED Asexual in the comics. "I'm not anything" is a phrase I myself have used in the past and I've also heard others use it. It's an easy enough description to use.

"But nothing was said about her being Aromantic"

It's important to note here that while the split attraction model is useful especially when someone is not both Aromantic and Asexual we are NOT required to use it.

Using Asexual as our singular identity is just as valid a way to say we're not attracted to anyone. Just as Bisexual is a valid way to say that you are attracted to multiple genders.

In an interview her creator specifically said that she wasn't likely to "follow Nat's romantic path"

"But this is the MCU not the comics, things could be different"

The fact that you feel like you can say this when you would likely be up in arms if someone tried to say the same thing about a gay or lesbian character in the comics says a lot. It's aphobic and really shitty, stop it. Get over yourself and give us the same fucking respect.

"But it's only fanfiction/headcanons/ a ship what harm are we doing"

It's erasure. Erasure of an identity that's important to so many people, erasure of an identity I needed as a kid when my 10 and 11 year old classmates were kissing each other and dating, as a teen when I sat in my sex Ed class wondering why I was uninterested even as all my classmates were filled with nervous excitement.

Erasure of an identity that has practically no mainstream representation.

Representation is vital for all LGBTQIA+ identities, Asexual included, it saves lives.

And Yelena is great rep something Asexuals and especially Aromantics have been denied time and time again in mainstream media.

"Some AroAce people get in relationships"

Yes, they do but using this to justify a ship especially if you aren't aroace yourself or haven't done adequate research by talking to aroace people about their relationships. It can come across as though you think that finding your "ship" is what makes a human. This isn't the case and it dehumanises people like me.

Bottom line: please respect us and Yelena. She's already a badass.

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...okay, since someone brought up the recent Devin interview, I’m going to address that. Mind you, this is from Monday, December 13th, 2021, so this is the most updated info we have.

Yes, I understand that Devin said that Yelena’s sexuality was up to interpretation, but what else did she say?:

“Later, when I had lived with [Yelena] a little longer and someone asked me if she might be ace, I thought that actually made a lot of sense for her. But there are two strong caveats to that. The first is that Yelena is Russian... Yelena may not have been exposed to terms like “ace” and “aro.” Yelena, remember, not only works for the State, she was essentially raised by them. If she has thought to question her sexuality at all, I feel pretty confident that she’d keep her conclusions to herself.”

Hmm okay. Still not disproving that Yelena is aroace. In fact, highlighting why she would’ve said “I’m not lesbian, I’m...nothing,” because she wouldn’t have known the word for being aroace. Let’s go further:

“I mentioned two caveats to my answer, though, and here’s the other one, which is actually the most salient issue in all of this: I do not own Yelena Belova. Though she sprang from the imagination of JG Jones and I, she is the property of Marvel Entertainment...I have absolutely no control over Marvel’s decisions for her in the future. I like the idea of her being ace and hope they go with that, but despite my 20+ years writing comics, there isn’t even anyone there I can mention that to.”

Ah. This is the big one, right? We don’t know Yelena’s MCU sexuality. It’s very possible that Disney won’t make her aroace. But until they decide one way or the other, don’t you think we should go with the wishes of the actual creator? Don’t you think we should refer to her actual canon comic dialogue on the matter?

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ok so I'm really not up to date with the mcu but I noticed that a lot of aros are speaking up against ppl shipping an aroace character (which they're totally right about!). anyways, some aros however claimed it takes their representation of aroaces in relationships away, which is also a good point.

HOWEVER. the thing is, when alloros write canon aro characters in relationships, they don't write them as aro. they write them as allo. as someone with full on romantic attraction.

THIS IS ERASURE.

I'm all for aros to write aro characters in relationships. hell yeah, get some diversity! after all, not all of us romance-repulsed or prefer being single. we're not monolith, and I'd love to learn more about other people's aromantic experiences.

but writing a canon aro character as alloro just to make them “shippable” (which, let's be honest, way too many allos do), is erasure and stays erasure.

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Absolutely losing it at this Reddit post

And the update

She buttered Jorts

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Caption: [So here’s something no one’s gonna tell white asexual and aromantic kids. Most of your fears for your future are rooted in capitalism and white supremacy. American white supremacy and American capitalism created this essential need for the nuclear family. And this idea that that is the only place you can get your care and resources and love.

That’s why so many of us are worried about who’s gonna take care of us if we’re elderly or disabled. It’s why we struggle to find single person housing. It’s why it’s not seen as normalized to have close relationships with your family and friends. There are so many examples around the world and throughout time where that was not the norm.

Where community care, community love, and community support was the expectation and the norm. And American white supremacy and American capitalism actively destroyed that. So maybe its time for us to start giving platforms to the BIPOC LGBTQIA folks who’ve been saying from the beginning that their liberation will free us all.]