50bookreadingchallenge

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#50 How to Talk to Girls by Alec Greven

This is a ‘Guide Book’ for boys about how to talk to girls.  

It’s also written by a 9 year old boy.  

It isn’t just about how to talk to them though, that would be troubling enough because presumably by the time a boy is reading this book, he’s already engaged in quite a few conversations with girls.  No, this book is a dating guide.  And a manual for male entitlement.  

This book treats girls as though they are another species, and one that boys must hunt and conquer.

“If you do get a girl to like you, that is victory.  Winning victory is a dream for most boys, but it is very rare.”  

Not only was this boy taught that ‘winning’ is what happens when you have a relationship with a girl, but whoever taught him that presumably did nothing to dissuade our 9-year-old author from using the concept as the basis for a book.

Chapter three is literally called ‘There’s a Girl for Every Boy’.  No kid, there isn’t.  That’s not how it works and if adults are actually teaching their children that that is the case then I’m not surprised the world is in the state it’s in.  Talk about heteronormative, Tumblr, Jeez!  

We live in a world were ‘Pick Up Artists’ can actually make a living teaching men ‘tricks’ to get women into bed.  They teach things like ‘Negging’ – hiding a criticism in a compliment so that she becomes more eager to gain your approval.  I’m not saying that this book includes anything so nefarious but the fact that anyone could think that a baby version of the same idea could be cute is so so sad.  

It was a friend who brought this ‘book’ to my attention.  She knew I would be horrified and we discussed how incredulous we were that it was ever published.  How could anyone have sat down and though ‘I know, let’s encourage boys of a ridiculously young age to think of girls are completely alien to them.  Let’s re-enforce a sentiment of extreme disconnectedness that will really help young men to empathise with and accept all kinds of people they may encounter in life.’

Girls are human!  Gone are the days when people thought it was easier to think that men were from mars and women were from venus.  We all have to live on earth for fuck’s sake.  I have experienced the world of dating, I have experienced ‘Negging’ first hand and when I called the dude out on it he said he was impressed that I knew what it was.  That’s just another patronising, belittling, example of negging! Ugh.  What is wrong with people?  

Telling a child that this person falls into this category and will therefore respond to this stimulus is dehumanizing and sickening.  

We live in a world where people actually feel so entitled to certain behaviours from others, based purely gender, that they become violent when they don’t get the reaction they want.

They feel that these targets are behaving in an incorrect way and not that their own entitlement may be misplaced or inappropriate.  There is not a boy for every girl or a girl for every boy or any kind of human for any other kind of human.  You are not entitled to another person’s affections.  This is not a difficult concept and there’s no excuse for that kind of attitude, but reading a book like this sure explains a few things.  

Here’s a video of Alec Greven talking about the book and likening having a crush to the stock market, and having a girl not like you to having a favourite toy stolen.  And people think this is cute!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2IedSTcpbk

I was torn when it came to writing this review . . . I didn’t want to bad mouth a little kid!  The guy is all grown up now but I was hesitant to research him too much because I was worried that it might be too depressing. How has the guy turned out . . . ?

I will just have to hope that all that shit he wrote was just regurgitated bullshit that his misogynist parents fed him and that he’s grown up to be a decent person who doesn’t view women or girls like objects or subhuman aliens.  

A girl can dream.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#49 The Almost All-White Rabbity Cat by Meindert DeJong

This one was recommending to me by the wonderful and sexy Josh.  He liked it when he was a kid and spoke about it with such fond memories that I had to give it a go.

It is a very sweet story about a boy from the countryside who has to leave his grandparents and their lovely barn full of 30 white pet rabbits and move to the city where his parents have new jobs.  While they are out at work, Barney is left alone in their apartment to await their return and he is understandably bored.  

The first part of the story is very much centred round the themes of loneliness and quiet solitude. Even when Rosita, an almost all-white cat, lets herself into his apartment, shares his hotdogs and then disappears just as quickly, the imagery of the silent and desolate corridors and hallways of the apartment building were very eerie.  It felt almost like when that kid from the shining is tricycling around that massive empty hotel.  Barney is able to run as fast as he can around and around the corridors and at one point his loneliness and boredom get the better of him and he whoops and hollers as he runs.  He is shocked and embarrassed when angry, elderly neighbours come out to tell him off for making too much noise.  

The next part of the book is when Barney’s mother comes home unexpectedly from her new job because she’d been phoning the apartment but obviously Barney hadn’t answered being too busy running around after his new friend Rosita the cat.  Worried, Barney’s mother rushes home to find him.  And when she does, instead of being angry with him for going out without permission, she and Barney go on more adventures up to the roof and down to the basement.  Barney almost feels like his mother is a bit drunk on the naughtiness of leaving work early and that she wants to play.  She particularly enjoys riding up and down in the elevator as it isn’t something she’s done much in the countryside.

The final part of the story is the complete opposite of the start.  By this time Barney’s father has also returned to the apartment building and is hunting for the almost all-white rabbity cat with them.  They are meeting all manner of unusual neighbours with more unusual pets.  Their contracts said that they weren’t allowed to have dogs or cats, so one woman has a pet wallaby and another has a baby lion.  This part of the story is so bright and colourful and noisy that it was almost like a separate book entirely.  Soon Barney’s father catches the excitement of not being at work and Barney is delighted when his parents decide they hate their jobs and want to move back to the countryside.  Due to a stroke of luck, they meet the real owner of Rosita and she gives her blessing for Barney to take his new cat with them when they go home.  

It’s a very happy ending. I really liked the ups and downs and the racing train of thought that you follow as Barney hares about the place. The adults are hilarious and the special bond between Rosita and Barney is very sweet and heartfelt.  

A very enjoyable little story.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#48 The Owl who was Afraid of the Dark by Jill Tomlinson

When I was young this was my favourite.  I remember laughing and laughing so so much!  I recommend this one to anyone and everyone.  

First of all the baby barn owl’s name is Plop.  If that isn’t a brilliant name for a baby barn owl in a children’s book then I don’t know what is!  

Plop is afraid of the dark, as the title suggests, and is encouraged by his long-suffering parents to go out and talk to people to learn more about the dark before writing it off completely.  

So off Plop goes and each chapter he meets a different person who shares with him what they think is good about the dark, be that the excitement of bonfire night, the peacefulness of night time, or the magic of being able to see the stars.  As Plop starts to have his views changed, he gets braver and makes some adorable discoveries about himself and the world around him.  

I remember loving how Plop just gulps down anything that his parents bring for him to eat and only once he’s swallowed it does he bother to ask what it was.  Once he’s told, he inevitably asks ‘What’s next?’  

I love that Plop overcomes his fear and learns what it really means to be a night bird.  

There will never be an owl as close to my heart as Plop.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#47 The Tale of Greyfriars Bobby by Lavinia Derwent

This is another one that I had read to me as a child.  I remember not understanding the perspective in the picture on the cover and thinking that the dog was enormous compared to the tree and the church.

What I didn’t remember was how sad and horrible the story is!  You’d think that when people remember a true story and spend time retelling it and passing the story on, they would lighten it a bit and make it more palatable.  But this book is full of horrible examples of dog abuse and elderly abuse too!  

Bobby wasn’t a much loved little scamp like I remember, he was a pain in the butt who was constantly told to ‘git awa hame.’ Auld Jock didn’t even like him and I suppose the wee dog is supposed to be remembered for being so stalwartly loyal but I just think it’s sad.  The doggo is obviously a masochist.  

The poor old shepherd Jock dies in poverty, a tired and broken man.  The only one who cared for him was Bobby and Jock didn’t even want him to. Gutting.  I don’t know why this didn’t permeate as a kid.  Maybe I had thicker skin then.

I do have a happy memory of going to see the famous Greyfriars Bobby statue in Edinburgh when I was little.  I’ve seen it plenty of times since but I’ll pay more attention next time.  

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#46 The Tabitha Stories by A. N. Wilson

This is another one from the vaults.  I basically just loved everything that was about an animal. . . So not much has changed.

This book is about a little kitten called Tabitha who lives at number sixteen and is learning about the world around her.  Her father is a street cat called Pufftail who keeps a watchful eye on her and gives her advice when he can.  

The first thing I thought when I found this book was that the cover just looks off.  What is with that cat’s face?  It’s like something’s just horribly wrong with it.  The illustrations throughout the book are all wonderful . . . why oh why did they choose this abomination for the cover?  

Sarah Fox-Davies is credited as illustrator but going by the quality of her other work inside, I feel like when it came to the cover there must have been some seriously misjudged editing from the publisher’s end.  

As I read the stories, I have memories of laughing my arse off at the guinea pig character.  Her name is Doris and she doesn’t have a very good memory.  Tabitha tries to warn her that although they are friends, Doris must be wary of cats in general.  Doris doesn’t understand the danger though and simply says “I eats my salad, and I looks about.”  It’s so cute and funny.

I also loved the natural inclination of the cats in the story to assume that the ‘two-footers’ are there simply as their servants.  It is more or less true after all.  

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#45 Grave Matter by Juno Dawson

Alex T Smith illustrated this story.  I love his work in the Claude, and Foxy series but as those are very light and cutesy I was quite surprised to see his name associated with something serious and dark.  Good on him for branching out!  

The story is very very sad indeed.  A teenage boy is driving with his girlfriend when they crash and the girl is tragically killed.  The boy doesn’t know how anything can ever be right again and spirals into a desperate place. He has a memory from when he was a child, of his aunt seemingly healing an injured sparrow with a few quietly muttered words.  The family haven’t spoken to this aunt for many years but the boy feels he needs to see her now.  

What follows is a dark and desperate journey into voodoo, magic, and things that just aren’t supposed to be. He performs a ritual that disgusts himself but he knows he has to try.  How could he live with himself if he didn’t?  

He wakes up in hospital, his loved ones all around him, including his girlfriend.  They tell him that he’s been in a car accident and that he’s been unconscious for a week.  Has the spell worked?  Has reality completely shifted around him?  Or was this all just an injury induced nightmare?  Either way, he’s got what he wanted, but his girlfriend doesn’t seem quite the same and there’s something dark and menacing lurking just out of the corner of his eye.  

I loved this story. It was the perfect amount of creepy and sad.  Alex T Smith’s illustrations were so different from what he usually does but I LOVED them.  

I don’t think that man can ever do wrong.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#42-44 I Was There . . .

1: Tutankhamun’s Tomb by Sue Reid

2: 1066 by Jim Eldridge

3: Shakespeare’s Globe by Valerie Wilding

I have read a couple of books from this series throughout this challenge and I really like them. It’s such a cool idea to have history brought to life in such a personal way.  Dates and times have never been my forte so history wasn’t my favourite at school, but having a character and a proper story to tie it all together means I can really enjoy it.  

They all feature a young character and the stories are always from their point of view.  We see a kid who gets paid to fetch water for the archaeologist’s men digging in Egypt and who happens to stumble upon the steps to Tutankhamun’s tomb.  

We have a young squire who just can’t wait to be allowed to fight in real battlefields and who is young enough to sneak into a Norman camp and learn their battle plans.  

My favourite was about a boy who desperately wants to be a player on the stage at William Shakespeare’s Globe theatre.  He has a job running errands for the staff of the theatre and thinks that maybe one day they will give him a small part to play.  His plans are scuppered by the plague and his family have to move out to the countryside to avoid the sickness. Will he ever make it to the stage?

I liked this one the most because I felt there was just more of a relatable struggle.  The boy has a super cute doggo called Hoppy and is helped by a really smart young traveller girl.  

I believe there are more in this series so I’ll be keeping an eye out for them.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#41 To This Day by Shane Koyczan

To This Day is a Young Adult graphic novel about bullying.  It isn’t a novel though, it’s a sort of poem/self-help type book.

It is very dark and talks a lot about the continuing effects of bullying on those who experienced it as children.  People still struggling with self-esteem issues into adulthood for example, as a result of being emotionally beaten down at school.  

The book is illustrated by 30 different artists from around the world who have all been witness to or experienced bullying.  

The project came about when Shane Koyczan’s anti-bullying poem was turned into an animated video and went viral in 2013.  The books has been created as a way to further reach people affected by bullying and to support anti-bullying organisations.  

I thought the book was very sad as you would expect and some of the illustrations were very effective.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#40 The Pavee and the Buffer Girl by Siobhan Dowd

This is a graphic novel about a boy from a traveller community in Ireland and the girl that he meets when forced to attend a conventional school.  

I’m a huge fan of Siobhan Dowd, and this story didn’t disappoint.  It was very sad and the illustrations by Emma Shoard really helped to set the tone.  

I really appreciated the attempts made to respect and be sensitive toward traveller communities and there was a note included about the decision to use the word Pavee, and the contrast in what it means when used by the community itself versus its use by outsiders as a derogatory term.  

I learned a lot from this little story and would recommend it to anyone.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#39 The Story of a Snail Who Discovered the Importance of Being Slow by Luis Sepulveda

This book is from the same author as ‘The Story of a Seagull and the Cat Who Taught Her to Fly’ which I loved.  This one is shorter and although it is similar in that the characters are very practical and sensible, these ones just didn’t have the same appeal.  

I am a bit biased though. I like snails and tortoises but cats and seagulls are my favourites so this story couldn’t compete really.  

It’s about a snail who starts to question things and the other snails don’t like it.  They are pretty mean to him so he goes out on his own to discover the answers he is looking for.  On his journey he meets a tortoise and they make a horrible discovery, the meadow where they live is turning into a building site.   A huge black tarmac road is cutting scar through the grass and it’s slowly getting closer to the bush where the other snails live.

Our protagonist starts his journey home to warn them and because he’s so slow he encounters lots of other creatures going about their business and warns them too.  When he reaches home, he is able to warn his fellows and lead them to a safer home away from the scary road.  

It’s a very cute story. But not a patch of cats or seagulls.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#38 Witch for a Week by Kaye Umansky

Elsie Pickles is just a normal little girl who helps out in her family’s struggling shop.  The Pickles’ Emporium sells cheap and useful things but doesn’t see much custom.  So Elsie is surprised one day when who should wander in but Magenta the town witch!  

Magenta is looking for a caretaker to look after her tower in the forest while she goes and visits her sister.  Elsie turns out to be just the person she’s looking for.  

The next day Elsie finds herself in the tower in the forest meeting a raven who can talk, a pair of twin werewolf type grannies, a young lady with a wood nymph obsession and a crush the size of the planet on a dreamboat local woodcutter.  Magenta doesn’t seem remotely worried by the idea that Elsie has access to all her spells and magical recipes.  I really liked that about the story.  It would have been such a cliché for Elsie to be told, ‘Now here’s a spell book – look at it isn’t it lovely and tempting – well you’re not allowed to read it or even touch it or be within three miles of it.’ Instead, it is the practical and sensible Elsie who says – “Isn’t that dangerous? . . . Going off and leaving someone to mess about with spells and stuff if they don’t know what they’re doing?” and Magenta responds, “Ah. You’re talking health and safety. I don’t bother with all that.” Brilliant.

So there Elsie is, surrounded by a random assortment of neighbours and companions and free reign to dabble with all the magical books and equipment.  Fantastic.  

I really liked this story. There was so much humour and fun - I laughed out loud a number of times.  I loved the idea that the magical equipment is somehow technology based. The crystal ball requires a password for example and ‘the book of everything you need to know’ will only work with a thumb print.  

This story was a complete joy from start to finish.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#37 Charm School by Anne Fine

I wanted to read a girly girly girl book.  The cover of this one is pink and sparkly and has a picture of a perfume bottle on it so I thought I was on the right track.  Unfortunately I found myself faced with a character (and maybe author) who are actively disdainful of girly girly things!  Ugh.

Bonny is a bit of a tomboy. She gets shunted off to ‘Charm School’ because her mother needs to take a bookkeeping course and doesn’t have appropriate childcare.  So Bonny ends up completely out of her depth and surrounded by girls with interests completely alien to her.  

The girls aren’t nice to each other; they put each other down and are constantly making snide remarks and trying to sabotage one another.  That is not a nice thing to do – but it isn’t unique to the beauty industry. Bonny witnesses the goings on of this beauty pageant and comes to various conclusions about the industry, like that it’s all a big scam and can’t these silly girls see that they’re being conned into thinking they’re ugly by companies that are just selling them expensive soap?  Etcetera blah blah blah.  

I was very disappointed. Bonny seemed to make it her mission to enlighten these silly girls about the fact that their interests don’t matter. It doesn’t matter, she says, who has the best dress or who has the whitest elbows!  

Well if you’re so wise ‘Bonny’ why don’t you tell us what IS important!  What DOES matter???  Because it seems to me that sports don’t matter either but I can’t imagine someone writing such a condescending, sneary, and prejudicial book about a boys’ football team.  It doesn’t matter who can dribble the fastest or do the most keepyuppies!  

What we actually have here is a case of blatant misogyny.  Taking an interest in anything feminine should not automatically be demeaning! Who cares if it doesn’t matter? It’s a fucking hobby!  And it’s not like people who are into model trains or badminton, or computer games don’t spend a fortune of their hobbies!  Why should we assume that girls and women are being ‘tricked’ into wanting to be pretty.  How fucking presumptuous and offensive.  Are boys who want the latest football strips being ‘tricked’ into thinking they have to have them?  

If you’re going to say that then you obviously have an issue with capitalism and consumer culture far beyond a simple kids’ beauty pageant and I would therefore advise you to pick on a group that isn’t already marginalised, looked down on, and belittled to make your point.  

I know I have a lot of issues with Anne Fine.  Anyone who read my review of Madame Doubtfire knows this already.  But seriously – have a think about what you’re saying here.

Also – throughout this book, Anne Fine uses the word ‘Twink’.  I don’t think she actually knows what it means.  We all know that a twink is a young, attractive, gay man.  According to one online dictionary I found, the word twink comes from the word Twinkie, meaning that a twink is sweet, soft, and full of cream.  RUDE! Another definition suggests that the Twinkie connection is because of the cake’s phallic shape.  RUDER AND RUDER!  

This book was jarring, disappointing, and ignorant.  

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#36 A Time to Reap by Theresa Breslin

I’m not going to lie; the thing that attracted me to this book was the cover.  Just look at it.  Someone literally got paid to come up with that design.  Someone else sat at their desk and made the decision that that was a good idea.  I can’t even. The best thing about it, is obviously the shirt.  I have to admit, I kind of want that shirt, his – not hers.

So, the story is about a girl who moves to Scotland from Paris or wherever (I wasn’t really paying attention - I was thinking about the shirt) and she meets this posh Jewish guy called Nathaniel who is a gifted pianist and his tutor, this old Dutch professor dude.

Anna, and Nathaniel hit it off and she’s a gifted pianist too, what a coincidence.  They start a little will-they-won’t-they romance and Anna likes him a lot but then they discover that the professor isn’t actually Dutch, he’s German, and he’s been keeping a dark and terrible secret.  No prizes for guessing what it is!  Jeezus Mary and Joseph would you just look at that cover.

Anyway, Nathaniel and his family are obviously pretty shocked (they didn’t look at the cover) and Anna has to reconcile her weird feelings of pity for the professor with her feelings for Nathaniel.  I just didn’t get this.  If you want to write a story about someone struggling with morality and forgiveness then there are plenty of examples to choose from without having to go full Nazi.

Also the characters weren’t identifiable to me at all.  These ‘teenagers’ were just too ridiculously posh.  When they discuss what music they like they know immediately that they’re talking about actual classical composers!  So unrealistic.  

Anyway, I want and need that shirt in my life.  I have nothing else to say.

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#35 Outcast by Narinder Dhami

Riff is a total badass. He’s the toughest, coolest and most sly cat ever and he’s on a mission.  He’s a stray, but don’t make the mistake of thinking he wants a home. No! He’s independent and a master manipulator, he can trick a family into happily giving him free food and a bed until he’s all set to move on again.  It doesn’t matter that he’s been hurt before.  That’s not the reason that he’s so determinedly cold, it’s just that he’s that cool and tough and stuff.  

He’s set his sights on a family and stakes out their house, but his plan is interrupted by a cute little kitten from next door.  Riff takes great pleasure in telling the naïve kid about what humans are really like and that they’ll kick him out as soon as they’re bored of him.  

It’s not just the cute wee kittypants who learns a lesson though.  Riff starts to discover that being a pet instead of a stray might not be that bad after all and when the family witness an uncharacteristic act of kindness and bravery, Riff learns that people aren’t all that bad after all

A very cute story that made me think about the adorable picture book ‘I’m Not Cute!’

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#34 Horrible Histories Handbooks: Trenches by Terry Deary

This is the first Horrible Histories book I’ve ever read.  I’ve liked the idea of them and I went to an exhibition in London once about them and was very impressed but I’d never actually sat down and read one before. This is slightly different than your normal HH book in that it is designed to be like a handbook.  So it talks to you as though you’re actually going off to fight in the First World War.

There were some very funny parts and a LOT of information that was very interesting.  The illustrations by Martin Brown were fantastic and the book’s voice seemed to be very down to earth and self-deprecating.  

There was a little more toilet humour than I normally like but it’s a kids book so I wasn’t surprised or put off.  I laughed out loud at this comic strip –

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#33 Horseradish by Lemony Snicket

I meant to read this years ago after I finished my review of The Series of Unfortunate Events but I never got around to it.  It’s sat on my shelf looking all neglected all this time and now finally I’ve read it! YAY!

Horseradish is not so much a story as it is a collection of ideas.  Each individual nugget of Snickety wisdom is as you would expect, a little wise and a lot silly.  Rather than pick each idea apart and review them in detail I think it would be better to just bask in the confusion, and enjoy the style of writing that I enjoyed so much with the Baudelaires.  

The idea is that the wisdom shared in this book might possibly help you out of a tricky spot in the future, hence the title.  Horseradish was one of the things that helped save the Baudelaire children in their series.   But one of the many themes in Daniel Handler’s Snicket world is that some things are just inevitable.  There’s nothing you can do to avoid a tricky spot and what you think will help may very well end up doing the precise opposite.  

We’re doomed. Basically.  But in the meantime at least we can be mildly amused by examples of advice such as –

“No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read.”

L x

[50bookreadingchallenge]

L#32 Clementine by Sara Pennypacker

Clementine is SO reminiscent of Fudge and Peter, and the Ramona Quimby stories.  I couldn’t help comparing them as I read.  This girl has the same practical but enthusiastic attitude as Ramona and the same persecuted outlook as Peter.  Her baby brother who she refers to as any number of random vegetables (to make it fair – as she is named after fruit) will no doubt grown up to be just as troublesome as Fudge.  

In this story, we see Clementine struggle with school - she is very observant which makes it hard to concentrate on the things she’s supposed to be paying attention to.  It’s not her fault that the teachers can’t keep up with her train of thought.

She has a friend who is a little older than her who she can’t seem to help getting into trouble with her.  It was a little frustrating to watch the chaos unfold at times but I still found myself engaged probably because the girl’s intentions are so simple and wholesome.

L x