52hertzman

[52hertzman]

Good Boy

If you don't bark, if you don't attack Your owners will have to give you back You're not a real dog if you don't protect And if you're not a dog then what are you You will neither be an animal nor exist You have to abide by our rules We'll teach you to do our same things You gotta be dumb, you gotta be angry You gotta be angry when you look dumb You gotta act dumb when you look angry You gotta be smart, you gotta be responsible You gotta learn tricks and always know what to do You have to face the consequences, but if you don't, no one will judge you After all, you didn't deserve all the snacks that gives you joy You got it because you are and always will be our perfect little good boy You still have to protect and make other dogs respect If not, convince them with your teeth That's the only way to solve things, the only way we teach You gotta be cold, emotions are for weak puppies Lock it up, don't show it, even if you're on the verge of something horrific Don't show cowardice even if you feel it It is better to be self-destructive than to be useless to your family Now you can be a good boy and grow your canine If you don't accept these rules, there's nothing you can do Because you're made this way by design

[52hertzman]

Non-Lucid Consciousness

A wise man once said, "I think, therefore I am" But these vile intrusive thoughts aren't me And there's a chance that something might falsify my memories So what am I but a bodiless continuous consciousness I ain't my feelings, my senses nor my overthinking But I exist and think somehow So I can only be the processing of now But every night my body forces my being into the unknown To a place where I have no control To a place where I can't escape And that maybe I'll never wake Or wake in a different place, with a different face Maybe this disappearance is just an exercise Everyone sees their future when they close their eyes How can dreams be good None of them you choose None of them you can refuse And if by some miracle you dream of something clean So why do you sleep Just to wake up and kill all your dreams So that the only conscious movie we can be sure of begins The only known life that we represent But tonight our body will once again close its credits without consent

[52hertzman]

Portrait

Outside the window I heard my name  Waiting to come in there were a raven  All the words that it told me  All the feathers that kept falling I knew this raven would stay And all its words were safe 

The drawing that was left fills my room The memories that were made opens space For hope of more So I can open the door And make a home to stay With my raven untill the end

[52hertzman]

Atheist Workshop

Stranded on the couch All doors are shut down Hours pass and nights comes around And I know they are coming Guilt chains me Because I invited them in When I expired this feeling Thats why they are coming I cant hide or run away They are inside my brain Making every second the same The thoughts are coming Actually I was delaying the fact Actually they never really left Actually I don't know if they are the same from the past But I know that the thoughts are here Creating endless waves for me to give up Making the room both expanded and shrunk Believing that I can't stop it once it begun Transforming the thoughts and I as one

No, I will withstand this chore I have tactics that I can hold on I know that I've already beat them before I feel that the thoughts passed My breath is starting to calm down My feet can now touch the ground But as I know that all the clocks are round The thoughts will never stop coming

[52hertzman]

Self Quarantine

Time passes, fists rest I got tired of me, then stress win Sadness around the corner, giving up is just a little further This is well known, don't ask me to show I allways end up in this situation I just want to be alone I have my problems and others have their own I am so tired of everyone around me and they keep asking how I feel Why do I allways have to choose why cant they just let me ill I want to go to my island and feel nothing And watch the fire around it consume everything Then I can get out of it Untill then I just want to be alone and disappear

[52hertzman]

Lotus

I'm away from the garden That doesn't mean nothing new But when I walk away I feel persuaded There is a lotus on the floor By the cracks it's stubborn It seems hard like its concrete But it is soft so don't step on it Don't try to water it down It doesn't need anyone around

There is a sunflower The sun is getting lower It won't be able to crown If it keeps looking down There are a lot of us more Keeping distance from us So our roots have freedom But we are stuck so we wont need them I wanna be pick up and grow taller Wet my soil and see my flowers

[52hertzman]

Unknow

Locked inside of my glass box, I can see the world But my reflection stares and blocks the door

When I get closer to see beyond, my reflection gets bigger When I move away I can't see the world

Feeling down, I spend a lot of time this way I spent a lot of this time away When I get out, I can tell that something is wrong Cause everything to me is now unknow

How I wish that I didn't exist, so my reflection could vanish When I try to break it my view gets damaged

I'm afraid to leave my box, leave my torment behind Cause no one seems to have this reflection outside

Loneliness, I do enjoy my company, I just don't like when it's only me Cherophobia, isolation can be so cold But its feeling to me is not unknow

[52hertzman]

Walking Cenotaph

I'm a dead clock displaying my death time I'm asleep but I still see my eyelid Full of void

I see myself through a black screen But my distance is doubling from me Inside its void

Should I clean my head? Then what do I make dirty instead? Why does my silence make this noise? How long have I being staring Into the void

Why do allways my biggests fears Seems to be the ones closest to reality Or be the nothing

I forgot where I came from I'm afraid to know where I belong But I know that this feels like home

I feel it growing The black hole inside me Filling every inch But how can this be If it's a void

[52hertzman]

Antehome

I can't buy anything new because my house is full of empty spaces All its windows became mirrors and its mirrors became paintings The night is just a rain cloud that surround my house The day is the time to do things I don't know I want I though I was dreaming when I woke up in my bed I have a lot of rooms to visit, but none has a place to rest Everyone that lives here has a smile in their faces and an evil in their eyes Everyone one in my room brings me gifts but none are mine My house gives me a feeling that I should know And my bed gives me thoughts that I run from

[52hertzman]

Idle Mind

I know that there is someone in my mind When it is empty inside I loose me out of sight And I know that it is alright

[52hertzman]

Scars

I don't even know why I do it In my head makes sense Follow what my mind tells me to do Do it every time that I feel down So I can build some sort of progress Making my skin more weaker each time So in the next ones it makes more easier Easier to pierce and to feel

[52hertzman]

Misplaced

The biggest joke they can tell you Is that you must stay alive for other people That this would make them sad I am already sad and nobody does nothing They preffer to see me suffer a lifetime over they getting sad for a little quick loss They are as selfish as I am You were born alone and you are going to die alone People just bring more trouble I already feel alone so why are they here If I were alone in the world I could be better Then if I got bored, like usual, I could just end myself

[52hertzman]

5th stage of grief

I am so afraid of death but i am obsessed with it We will allways reach the end But why take the more painfull road The feeling that I will allways end up is regret  Regret of why didnt I ended my road sooner I am only delaying the inevitable  Then I wouldn't be like this right now I have nothing to keep on going I have nothing to keep on fighting Why get up if I will allways fall Maybe I just belong on the ground But I want to be beneath it Beneath of all this regret

[52hertzman]

A fool's attempt to change

When you don't know where to fall Things get a little complicated When you think too far Don't you feel a little persuaded

Why don't you leave my mind Don't you see that we are in the wrong time If I could see the light go out You would know whats all about

I don't want you to be the one to change I don't want neither then I keep you away So why do you tease me with your looks Don't you know that I am just a fool

If I told I would go away Would you still be here the next day And if this take too many years Promise me I wont find you waiting here

I just want you to stand up Tell me what it is going up Why do you seem so far away Is it me or are you not wanting to stay

Don't you know that I am, just a fool Don't you see that I am still, just a fool I never wanted to, change you I just awanted to, be with you

[52hertzman]

Between everything and nothing

I have everything that everyone pursuits  But I want nothing of what I built And I still feel useless and sad Over nothing that no one cares I dont have a reason to still feel this way I kind want to keep me in this depressive state Because everytime I get out of this fortress I feel like I end up losing progress Progress to achieve something great Something that I really know that isn't fake Something I allways end up wanting And for me, to want, is a rare feeling

[52hertzman]

Sleepwalking Antematter

Today I dreamed of a feeling A feeling I didn't know I needed A feeling that made me calm, safe and hopeful It has become a meaning for keep going on Now I can't live without it And I don't even know what it was Maybe it was just the feeling of dreaming of something that isn't me Or was it just the feeling of my body and mind resting from one day being me Now I'm afraid of sleeping Because I don't know if I would wake up If I felt this feeling again

[52hertzman]

Inconsistent Alazia

I can walk everyday, but I am still in the same place I can create something new, but I still feel like a fool I can swallow my pill, but I still feel ill I can eat and sleep well, but I don`t know when I fell And I still feel, falling But I don't know what, push me If I have told, I could know I could've bring, my wings Gravity holds me, thats the only thing I have the whole world to fly, but I got nowhere mine I got so many doubts, and there is no one around But I like being alone, I just don't like its song And all its voices are, singing So I can enjoy while, I'm falling Feels good to change, to have the wind blowing my face While everything is, passing by I feel falling, but I feel still I have the same scars same flaws, same losses and the same fall My thoughts have changed my days have passed, and it's not the same river that I took bath This is not before this is my fall, I can see water but I won't drown