7-deadly-creatures-blog

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Everything is falling apart.  Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart.  Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart. Everything is falling apart.

And it’s all my fault.

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

“I wanted to scream and cry. But what I could really do was lying on the bed with a blank face, with gnawing pain in my chest.”

— nighttime thoughts

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My depression has gotten to the point where I don’t even want anything anymore. I don’t care if it gets better. I don’t want to fall in love anymore. I don’t want to go to college. I don’t want to travel or shop or have fun. I just want it all to stop. It’s too much I feel like I can’t breathe. I’m so lonely, my friends don’t care. I just want to stop existing. I think I’m going crazy. when did I become invisible? when did it all get so grey?

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[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Purple

Purple.

Purple.

Love and hate.

There's a thin line between the two…

I love to hate…

I love to hate myself.

I hate that i have no one to love.

I love the world…

But i hate it for making me feel…

Purple.

This is too much going on…

Too much, too much, too much…

No one loves me like i love them…

I have to much love in my heart…

But i don't know if it's love or hate...

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Red

Red.

Red.

The color of blood.

The color of death.

Red.

They don't like me, they don't care.

This one tells the most truths…

Everyone hates you.

No one cares about you.

Give up, give in.

I have given in to them.

Red…

Red…

Red…

Why can't you do anything right?

Why are you so useless?

Wy are you so cut up?

Why can't you do ANYTHING?

You're an embarrassment…

I want to drown…

I want to hang….

I can't to this…

I can't..

This pain?

Most would have given in by now.

But me?

I can't deal…

Its to deep….

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Current

Current.

I wake.

I wake above. Im okay for a while.

But then they pull me back down.

Fag.

Cut up.

Loser.

Screw up.

Why can't you do anything?

The pills pull me under the deep current.

The current it's too strong i can't hold on.

I let go i can't.

I can't.

I can't.

It's too much.

I'm sorry. Im sorry. Im sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Im sorry.Im sorry i can't do anything right.

I'm too deep now i cant see the surface.

Its to deep.

To deep.

I'm not going to make it.

.

.

.

Just as i feel the world go away, and i finally stop fighting..

I feel two sharp hands pull me up to the hell i came from.

We breach the surface.

Sharp air filling my lungs.

I can't see who pulled me up, saved me.

I don't think i will ever know.

Then it's the tears.

And i dont know whats worse the pain of drowning or surviving.

The words they all screamed at me reservface.

I look at my scars.

I survived..

I survived…

Why did i survive?

I don't deserve to survive.

Im sorry im sorry im sorry im sorry...

I am not afraid to keep on living…

But the sad truth is.

I am….

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Deeper

Deeper...

It hurts.

It hurts so much.

I can't hold on.

It pours our in…

Drips…

Drips….

Drips…

Its to deep i can't handle it it hurts to much i cant i cant.

So deep.

It's all over the floor, the bed, it's too much, i can't…

I just want it to go away.

Why can't you do anything?

Why cant you think normal?

Why can't you stop?

Why?

Why?

All the things in my head hurt me…

They abuse me…

But…

Yet they tell me the truth…

The truth hurts.

I want to cut deeper….

Deeper…

Deeper…

I am suffocating in myself.

I hate myself…

I can't hold on….

I cant breath…..

It's the end…

This is it…

Its over, finally…

Im am happy for the first time...

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Pain

Pain.

How to cope?

How..

hOw do people do it?

I cant.

Their is so much pain, building up inside of me that it hurts…

It hurts to breath.

To go to school.

To eat.

To live..

Everything hurts…

I dont know how to make the hurt go away.

The hurt will never go away.

They all tell me,

It gets better

Just hold on

Everythings gonna be alright

You will be okay

But i will let you in on a little seceret…..

I wont get better….

I cant hold on…

NOTHING IS ALRIGHT!

I am not o-god damn- kay!

Dose anyone know how to make this pain go away…

Because i shure as hell dont….

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Help me

Help me...

I need help.

I don't know how..

Or for what…

But i do..

I am in so much pain…

Its not visible pain…

Its invisible and follows me…

It hurts so much….

I cant breath…

I'm going to drown in my own pain.

Their is so much of it….

I can't…

I can't…

I can't….

I'm so sorry…..

I'm so sorry im so weak...

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Hey their guys so scince this is my first post I wanted you all to just meet my friends, or as I referre to them, the 7 deadly sins!!! So yeah scince they don’t come up on camera I drew them for you!!!!!! So let’s get started shall we!!!!!

So each of the things in my head represent my emotions or so I think I’m still thinking about it trying to understand what they are. So each is something different they are all…. how do I put this. Mean or just idk. But they tell me the truth.

So we have:

Red: who is mean and tortured me this one screams the truth at me and chokes me and tells me to do the things I do. This one hurts the most. They don’t like me. I’m sorry red I love you.

Then their is pink- pink is sort of in the corner a lot of the time and never really in reach like I can see them they are their but I just ACBT feel it. I don’t know if you have answers for me please comment.

Grey- grey is anxious grey is scared and sometimes jumps to conclusions but I can’t really give more info on them.

Yellow- yellow is hate yellow makes me do the things I do to myself. I do those thing because of this one.

Blue: blue is my sadness him and yellow play a lot they sit in the corner and cuddle and talk but they are cute.

Green: green is (I’m still figureing this out okay) green is anger anger for myself against myself I hate myself but this is who I think green is.

Purple: purple is love I love so many things I love so much but I don’t love good alone I love bad to I love my razors I love drinking I love people o love so fucking much I’m sorry I love so much. I’m so sorry…

So each each of my baby’s are are named offer the coulors if their eyes I did not make that up they made it up!!

[7-deadly-creatures-blog]

Hey their guys so scince this is my first post I wanted you all to just meet my friends, or as I referre to them, the 7 deadly sins!!! So yeah scince they don’t come up on camera I drew them for you!!!!!! So let’s get started shall we!!!!!

So each of the things in my head represent my emotions or so I think I’m still thinking about it trying to understand what they are. So each is something different they are all.... how do I put this. Mean or just idk. But they tell me the truth.

So we have:

Red: who is mean and tortured me this one screams the truth at me and chokes me and tells me to do the things I do. This one hurts the most. They don’t like me. I’m sorry red I love you.

Then their is pink- pink is sort of in the corner a lot of the time and never really in reach like I can see them they are their but I just ACBT feel it. I don’t know if you have answers for me please comment.

Grey- grey is anxious grey is scared and sometimes jumps to conclusions but I can’t really give more info on them.

Yellow- yellow is hate yellow makes me do the things I do to myself. I do those thing because of this one.

Blue: blue is my sadness him and yellow play a lot they sit in the corner and cuddle and talk but they are cute.

Green: green is (I’m still figureing this out okay) green is anger anger for myself against myself I hate myself but this is who I think green is.

Purple: purple is love I love so many things I love so much but I don’t love good alone I love bad to I love my razors I love drinking I love people o love so fucking much I’m sorry I love so much. I’m so sorry...

So each each of my baby’s are are named offer the coulors if their eyes I did not make that up they made it up!!