7loveneverfails - Tumblr blog

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why did no one warn me that to read dragonsteel prime was to read a 300k abandoned fic

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What was that Brandon?!

Alright, not full canon.... it's fine...

I'm fine....

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Ugh! My kids are so cute! 😍

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Reading Dragonsteel Prime has me thinking about how well written Kaladin is.

When he tries to save his men by using the bridge as a shield and in doing so he gets just about all the other bridgemen killed while losing the battle for the army. Like, that is such a hard loss. It reveals him to not have the big picture in mind even though his desire is good. He doesn't get how he and his men fit into the bigger schemes of the war and that blindness gets men killed.

Like he is a true hero, but also a human who doesn't always know the best move to make.

I just think it's so much fun to read.

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My son's vacuum of choice today is my Yuri and the Nightmare Painter bookmark.

Again, he has a toy vacuum.

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Thinking about it, I don't rejoice for the specific freedom from lust, but I rejoice because that distance, that fuzziness that kept me from drawing near God is gone.

I had been feeling off lately. Not coming to my Bible reading or prayer with my whole heart (which I initially tried to frame as "not getting anything from it but that was a result of not coming with my whole self).

So I said a simple prayer asking God to help me see what I needed to adjust.

I thought it might be how much I have been reading cause I can get a bit manic with that, or the amount of time I spent working through ideas for my stories, or even just reading while I rock my daughter to sleep.

Then I was thinking through a particular scene and I realized what I was doing.

When I was younger and new to faith I gave up writing stories for a long time because while my stories themselves were not raunchy, my mind certainly was, and the stories always gave a background for my mind to indulge in lustful fantasy.

So I gave it up.

I hadn't thought about that in a long time because my mind didn't really use my stories that way anymore.

But the particular scenes I was fixating on lent themselves to it.

Last night I had a good prayer time, good reading after a day of reading for hours and worldbuilding for my stories.

Because the problem was that simple foothold I was giving the enemy and my forgetfulness about my freedom in Christ.

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but I hope it encourages someone. If you are having a hard time approaching the throne lately, know that you are not rejected, just take some time to pray and see if the enemy snuck in some footholds while your attention was elsewhere. I promise God is all about freeing you from that. The Spirit will speak to you and guide you if you listen.

Praise God for the saving blood of Christ, the wisdom and guidance of His Spirit and the freedom bought for us.

[7loveneverfails]

I had been feeling off lately. Not coming to my Bible reading or prayer with my whole heart (which I initially tried to frame as "not getting anything from it but that was a result of not coming with my whole self).

So I said a simple prayer asking God to help me see what I needed to adjust.

I thought it might be how much I have been reading cause I can get a bit manic with that, or the amount of time I spent working through ideas for my stories, or even just reading while I rock my daughter to sleep.

Then I was thinking through a particular scene and I realized what I was doing.

When I was younger and new to faith I gave up writing stories for a long time because while my stories themselves were not raunchy, my mind certainly was, and the stories always gave a background for my mind to indulge in lustful fantasy.

So I gave it up.

I hadn't thought about that in a long time because my mind didn't really use my stories that way anymore.

But the particular scenes I was fixating on lent themselves to it.

Last night I had a good prayer time, good reading after a day of reading for hours and worldbuilding for my stories.

Because the problem was that simple foothold I was giving the enemy and my forgetfulness about my freedom in Christ.

I don't know if this makes a lot of sense, but I hope it encourages someone. If you are having a hard time approaching the throne lately, know that you are not rejected, just take some time to pray and see if the enemy snuck in some footholds while your attention was elsewhere. I promise God is all about freeing you from that. The Spirit will speak to you and guide you if you listen.

Praise God for the saving blood of Christ, the wisdom and guidance of His Spirit and the freedom bought for us.

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Oh weird... different Gaz and Bridge Four.

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After like 2 weeks or more of my son having a meltdown when my daughter cries, the sound of her cry now fills me with so much anxiety. I get so annoyed with her even knowing it's not her fault but it's so much for her crying to make both of them devolve into crying and I can't always tend to both of them.

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Hmmm

I was excited about my friend starting a bookstagram but I am starting to see signs that she is dependent on the "like" dopamine hits and most of the books are kinda smutty.

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World building for my main story I have worked on more than half my life (since I was roughly 13).

It is shocking how much room there still is to worldbuild.

I have approached it primarily as plot and character development but the world and society is flat which has begun to bother me where I never noticed it before.

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Yoharn makes me want to hug him.

Poor guy is like, Jerick is my buddy....but better not bug him by talking.

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Dang it, how long was he scribbling on that book before I noticed....

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I have ditched my nursing pillow and now my son comes and cuddles while I nurse or hold baby sister for a nap.

He is much happier 😊

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Finished Deadhouse Gates so I am finally down to just two books.

Small chance I will start a new book today.

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My daughter found her thumb and it is the best thing ever. She hardly cries going down for a nap now and she slept for 10hrs last night.