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It made them more self-obsessed, maybe more insecure. they made people more focused on their appearance and ego.

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These are the available USMLE step1 dates for the end of December 2025.

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So, what’s happening in my life right now is that yesterday I decided something important. I had this idea for a long time — ever since I started studying for my medical MBBS — that I would eventually go abroad for further studies, either for the AMC, or to India, the UK, or elsewhere. Now, in the third year of my clinical studies, with about five to six months left before my board exams, I have officially decided to start my preparation for USMLE.

Today, 28th April, I am beginning my preparation for Step 1. I’ll keep you updated on my journey, including how my preparation is going, the topics I am covering, and if I take any tests or solve many questions (MCQs), I will update those too. Wish me good luck! Thank you.

[8-43am]

I’ve always had this idea of myself—that I want to create something, to have something of my own. I’ve wanted to be an artist. Not just someone who creates & appreciates art, but someone who creates Something personal. Something that belongs to me. Something made by me.

A few months back, that idea got stronger. I felt like I needed to act on it. So, I created a YouTube channel. I posted one or two videos, and I made myself a promise: I would post at least 25 videos in the next month without any hesitation.

But no—I didn’t do it. I failed.

And then I asked myself, what would be easy? But nothing is easy. You just have to take action. The problem is, I kept thinking. And thoughts alone don’t work. Action does.

So, what have I decided now? Actually, this isn’t a decision I made just now. It’s been building up for days. I know what I want to do.

At the very least, I should write something. Post something. It doesn’t have to be perfect or revolutionary. Just write whatever thoughts or ideas come to me—and share them. I should. Because I am someone who loves doing that.

And yes, I’m going to start making videos again. I’ll keep you updated—with new thoughts, updates, and ideas.

[8-43am]

Today is April 25. After a lot of thinking, listening, and reading all the news about what’s happening in this country—the politics, the government’s approach to health workers, doctors, and hospitals—I’ve made a decision.

I’m going to take the USMLE Step 1. Yes, I’ve finally decided, and I’ll be giving the exam in the first quarter of 2026.

Wish me good luck.

With all my dedication, energy, and conscious effort, I make this promise today: I will give my complete heart and soul to this exam. I will get everything I need for the preparation. I am all in.

Yes, I’ve decided—I’m going to give the USMLE exam.

Thank you. I’ll keep you updated on my journey.

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I don’t know. I think these past few days, weeks, and months have been really confusing for me. Social media—YouTube, Instagram—everything is just making me more anxious about my future.

Everywhere I look, people are saying you should’ve started five years ago. That the years around 2017–2018 were better. That professions were more rewarding back then. And now, it’s all just harder. It feels like the profession I chose—where I’ve invested so much time, energy, devotion—might be doomed. That in five years, all of this won’t matter. That I’ll be earning just 30,000 to 40,000 a month, like a laborer, even though I’ve spent so much time and money thinking this path would secure my future.

It’s making me feel stupid. I don’t know what the fuck I’m supposed to do now. Yes, I’ve studied hard. I’m trying to become a doctor. I’ve invested everything—my money, my energy, my mental peace. And then I go online, and people are saying, “Oh, you messed up. You should’ve done something else. Being a doctor isn’t worth it anymore.” They say being a doctor, engineer, carpenter—everything is the same now. No one earns well.

And I don’t know what to do. I really don’t. After watching all this, I feel tense. Every day, there’s some news about a doctor being mistreated, underpaid, or disrespected. People say doctors are just money-hungry.

People are ready to spend thousands of rupees on other things—like buying clothes, eating at Restaurant cafés, paying taxes, buying new vehicles—basically, for every other service, they’re willing to pay without question.

But when it comes to hospital fees, suddenly it’s the doctor’s fault. They say doctors are overcharging for tests, inflating every bill. Yet when they need a new phone, a new dress, or anything else, they’re more than happy to spend.

But when it’s about healthcare, they act like doctors are just trying to “loot the money.” I don’t know what I’m supposed to do anymore.

Yet we still pay taxes, go through years of study, and carry so much responsibility. But when something goes wrong, everyone’s first reaction is to blame the doctor.

I see news about doctors getting slapped by patients’ relatives, doctors committing suicide due to mental pressure. And I wonder—what the fuck am I doing with my life? I can’t go back now. But after seeing all this negativity, I don’t see a future either. I’m seriously tense. I feel lost.

I think I should delete all social media—YouTube, Instagram—everything. The news, the way society treats doctors, the way this government (especially in Nepal) operates—it’s all bullshit. They don’t create vacancies for doctors, everything is centralized around Kathmandu, there’s no proper distribution of doctors based on need or geography. They just keep increasing the number of seats in medical colleges and raising fees, but there’s nothing after that. No system. No structure. Just frustration.

It’s 4:45 AM, and I can’t sleep. My mind is messed up. I’m overthinking everything. I’m literally so frustrated right now.

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Yeah, today we didn’t have any classes, so I went out first. I stepped outside my room and went to Kahun Dada. It was a beautiful place. After that, we went to have some fun — traveling on a bike to a new spot was really amazing. The weather was nice; it was a bit sunny with no clouds, and the sky was clear.

At the café, we had a variety of food and clicked some pictures. Then we came back to the hostel and watched a football match — Barcelona won! It was a good day overall.

Also, we don’t have classes tomorrow either, but We’ll have our forensic medicine practical posting day after tomorrow.

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Every individual is just a version of you.

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Finally, I am learning how to put on the surgical gloves and how to make a knot surgeon’s knot

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Right now, I’m heading back from the gym. Had a good 60-minute workout session, and I’m finally happy that I’ve started working out again. I’ll keep it up.

Today, I feel really good after workout. It was a great start to the day! I’ll continue this.

Now, I’ll take a bath, have breakfast, and then revise some topics from medicine—the respiratory system.

Have a nice day! Good morning!

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Sunday, March 30

This is my entry for today’s journal.

Today was a good day. I read three out of five pages (or topics, chapters—whatever you meant). Yeah, I woke up, but actually, I didn’t even sleep because last night we had Alumni Meet party. I came back to my room around 8 PM, slept at around 9 PM, and woke up at 11 PM. After that, I couldn’t go back to sleep. I didn’t feel sleepy, so I just kept scrolling through YouTube and Instagram. I did that for the whole night. I randomly watched a movie, binge-watched a series, and at 5 AM, I thought about going to the gym.

But then I realized I hadn’t slept well, so I knew I wouldn’t be able to lift weights. I haven’t been to the gym in a month, so I thought today would be a great start. Since it’s Sunday, it would have been a perfect day to get back into it. If I had gone, I would have felt really good about it. But I didn’t, and that’s bothering me right now.

Then I decided—okay, tomorrow is Monday, it’s Eid, and there will be no classes. From the day after tomorrow, we have our community exercises.

One thing I want to acknowledge today is that for the past month, I’ve been incredibly lazy, stupid, and undisciplined. I’ve been really lazy. I haven’t gone to the gym. I haven’t woken up early. I’ve been going to bed late at night, and my screen time has been at an all-time high. For an entire week, my screen time was more than 20 hours daily. For two weeks straight, I spent almost all my time on my phone. I even missed some of my classes.

My goal is to get a great rank in NEET PG. That’s what I want. But to achieve that, I need to work hard. I just need to take action. Right now, I’m being lazy. I haven’t been studying properly. And now, I have to change.

At least start working, bro. Then you can think about working hard. Taking the first step is crucial. Please, God, give me the strength.

I need to start meditating again. I was doing it, but I stopped a month ago. God, please give me strength. I am not this body. I am not this mind. I am not this body. I am not this mind.

Tomorrow, I will conquer the day. I will sleep early tonight—by 12 AM. I will sleep well and wake up at 5:30 AM, fully energized. I will go to the gym and work out for 60–70 minutes—at least an hour. Then I’ll start studying medicine because my medicine posting is over, and I need to cover some topics I haven’t fully grasped. I will read and revise those topics over the next 10 days since I don’t have classes. My goal is to cover them all within this time.

I want to thank myself for making this decision. I will write another journal entry tomorrow to hold myself accountable—whether I did it or not.

I can do this, bro. I will do this.

I am the chosen one. I am the hero of my own life. I can achieve whatever I set my mind to because the people who achieved greatness didn’t have anything extraordinary that I don’t. I have everything I need to be great. I just need to focus.

Thank you.

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This post is my note for achieving daily goals

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My dad

I feel really sad right now. It’s just that, you know, sometimes you realize—by talking to others—that you’re making a dumb move. Yeah, you know that your thought process is limited, that the way you think and make decisions is flawed.

This frequently happens when I talk to my dad. He doesn’t directly say it, but he makes me realize that I’m being dumb. He never outright calls me stupid, but he makes me see my mistakes. He tells me, “Don’t try to act too smart in front of me because the world won’t have any pity on you. When given the chance, the world will tear you apart.”

He reminds me that he’s my father—always there to guide me, give me advice, and help me improve. And in those moments, I realize that I’ve been foolish. I don’t even know why I sometimes try to act smarter than I am. Maybe I do it to impress myself, to make myself feel intelligent. But what’s the point?

Dad recently told me, “You’re not being real or truthful with me.” And that hit me hard. It made me feel empty, like there’s nothing inside me. I don’t know. There’s a line from a movie ***** **** that goes something like this: We work jobs we don’t like to buy things we don’t need to impress people we don’t like. And I feel like something similar is happening in my life. No, I do like my studies, but am I just doing few things to please people I don’t even care about? Am I making choices just to fit into a certain group? I don’t know.

But when I talk to my dad, I feel like he’s telling me, Bro, wake up. There’s so much to learn. You can do this. Open your eyes, listen to advice, shut your mouth, and focus on your work. Because, yeah, I have two years ahead of me. I have to crack NEET PG. Definitely. A government seat. AIIMS Delhi. INI-CET All India Rank 1 would be good. Yeah, I’m going for that.

I love my dad. He’s a great person. He understands me so well. He knows when I’m lying or not being truthful. He doesn’t call me out on everything because he knows that if he constantly corrects me, I might break down and lose the confidence I have. And if that happens, I might stop trying altogether.

I know I’m lazy, but I’ll try. I’ll listen to my dad because I know I’ll be great if I just follow his advice. His words are powerful—he’s wise, intelligent, and always right. I’m just trying to be better. And yeah, I know I haven’t been a good son, but I don’t want to lie or be dishonest with him anymore.

I’ll work hard. I’ll complete my tasks. And I’ll always be truthful to him because he’s the one person who has always been there for me. He pays my bills, buys me clothes, and provides everything I need. The least I can do is live up to his expectations and make him proud.

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To make any plan come true in your life, you must first have it in your mind. If you can think about a plan, you can implement it, execute it, and achieve the desired outcome. But if you don’t even think about the plan, how can you expect to achieve your goal or target?

That’s why planning and visualizing success is the first step. For example, if you believe that you can study on a scholarship, you are already on the right path. There are students who study without paying any fees, so if they can do it, why can’t you? If you study by paying, you’re spending extra money that others have managed to save.

This thought process is crucial for students. Scholarships exist, and you can study without paying a single rupee if you work hard. That’s the mindset you need—believe that it’s possible and work towards it.

If there’s a way for students to study without paying a hefty amount, why should you settle for paying? In the same class, some students have paid nothing and will save a lot of money. So why shouldn’t you aim for that scholarship?

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The plan

To turn any plan into reality, you must first have it in your mind. If you can think about a plan, you can implement it, and achieve the desired outcome. But if you don’t even consider the plan, how can you expect to reach your goal? That’s why the first step is always to think about and commit to achieving it.

For example, consider studying on a scholarship. There are students who study without paying a single rupee, so why not you? If others can secure a scholarship and study for free, then it’s possible for you too. The key is to work hard, meet the criteria, and earn that opportunity. If some students manage to pay nothing while others pay huge sums, it only makes sense to aim for that scholarship and save money.

This mindset is crucial if a path exists where you can achieve something without unnecessary expenses, then you should strive for it. Instead of settling for paying, focus on securing the opportunity that allows you to study for free.