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Released today they calmly come for you
Arriving at your gate
Your ghosts have come to choose
A blade to carve your crime cut red into your back
To smear your name
They've come to end a truce 🫶🏼
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It has been 52 months since Anna died. In the past few months I started being able to say that she “died.” Previously I could say she “passed” but I could not say that she died, or that I lost her. But she did, and I did.
I lost Anna to a transformation completely unknown to me—one I have not had to walk through myself. Yet living without her has become its own transformation, to be transformed by suffering, by grief, by the relentless drum we cannot describe but that moves us deeper into life by a silent and forceful cadence.
So here we are together at 52 months, the transformed and the transforming.
For all those watching their family die, for the deaths you cradle in your arms and weep into, I pray for gentle transformation here and beyond.
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May radiant compassion illumine your heart, may you always know you are well.
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47 months. AK47. The most staggering question is how we could ever love you more. We cannot. ♾️ 💕
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“I will die in Paris / on a rainy day / on someday I can / already remember”
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“I wanted you / to love me like you used to do.”
42mos, Wayne. Forever.
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