a-casual-fan

[a-casual-fan]

[a-casual-fan]

"aros can still date" well i don't want to. "aros can be in qprs" well i don't want to. "aros can still get married" i cannot stress enough how much i don't want to do that. "it can be completely platonic" i don't care i still don't want to. "aros can still go on dates and kiss people and act indistinguishably from an alloromantic person" why are you so hell bent on us fitting into amatonormative society as much as possible. "aros can still love" is this just to make you feel better? it feels like it's just to make you feel better

[a-casual-fan]

sorry to be aromantic but i need more stories w characters who get absolutely no romantic interests, plots, or romantic ending ‼️ gimme ppl w complex interpersonal relationships put into emotional life situations ‼️ but they all get zero bitches ‼️

[a-casual-fan]

and you're not "missing" anything. you're you and that's all that matters. you deserve just as much happiness.

[a-casual-fan]

[a-casual-fan]

You know what? Forget the discourse. This is no longer my hill to die on.

You wanna ship canonically aspec characters because “aro/ace people can still date/have sex”? Okay, then. LET’S DO IT.  I wanna see an aromantic character with an alloromantic love interest. I wanna see that confession of undying love and the moment when the aro character says they will never feel the same way—not romantically.

I wanna see the asexual character with their allosexual partner. I wanna see that moment when the ace characters tries sex with their partner for the first time because they want to make them happy only to realize that they are 100% sex repulsed.

I wanna see the two demiromantics who don’t even know if what they feel is romantic attraction, but they adore each other and just want to make healthy snacks together and destroy each other at Mario Kart.

I wanna see the two aces who love sensual affection and are figuring out what they define as sexual or not.

I wanna see the romance + sex neutral aroace who happily and consensually does whatever makes their partner happy…but their partner still struggles with feeling undesired. 

Oh, babe. You thought shipping an aspec character would be just like shipping an allo character? 

[a-casual-fan]

pride 2025

[a-casual-fan]

romanticizing? no, im actually aromanticizing it.

[a-casual-fan]

[a-casual-fan]

pride 2025

[a-casual-fan]

I'm having so much fun drawing stained glass window patterns

[a-casual-fan]

[a-casual-fan]

[a-casual-fan]

pride 2025

[a-casual-fan]

Uhhh....

[a-casual-fan]

Sex Positive vs. Sex Favorable

They’re not the same thing.  Sex positive, neutral, and negative describes someone’s opinion on the morality of sex in general and its place in society.  Sex favorable, indifferent, averse, and repulsed have to do with your own interactions with sex.

Favorable, indifferent, averse, and repulsed is mostly used for asexual-spectrum people, and a lot of aromantic-spectrum people use the same scale to describe their feelings towards romance.  But allosexual (non-asexual) people might also find it helpful.  Like, there are people who feel attraction towards other people but are sex averse and don’t want to have sex with anyone they’re attracted to.  (There are also people fitting the same description who do identify as aspec, and that’s valid, too.)

Here’s the chart that’s commonly used used to explain the two scales.  I’m going to add an image description afterwards, but I’m not really familiar with doing them so it may not be great.

[Image description: A picture divided vertically into two halves.  The left half is white with black text and the right half is black with white text.  Each half has several terms written in bold with a smaller description under each one.  The text is in a handwriting-style font.

On the left side, it says, “Sex-positive: To have a positive attitude towards sex in general.  Not necessarily for yourself, but any safe sex between consenting people. Sex-neutral: to have no opinion on sex in general, neither positive nor negative. Sex-negative: to have a negative attitude towards sex in general.  To think sex is bad/wrong, even safe and between consenting people.”

On the right side, it says, “Sex-favorable: to have a positive attitude towards sex for yourself.  To desire sex.  Sex-indifferent: To have no opinion on sex for yourself, neither positive not negative.  Sex-averse: to have a negative attitude toward sex for yourself.  To not desire sex.  Sex-repulsed: To be repulsed by the thought of sex.”

End description.]

People get these two scales mixed up constantly, and/or leave out words.  Y’all, I know it’s hard.  I have to go through both of them in my head before I mention either one to make sure I’m saying the right thing.  But we can do better.  Please!  Like, one of my friends was angry at me when I came out as asexual to her because she thought I was attacking her sexuality.  And yeah, I’m sex averse, but that has no bearing on what I think of her.  It’s actually a common myth that the concept of asexuality is inherently sex negative, and we don’t need to encourage that by conflating sex negativity with being sex averse or repulsed.

Actually, most people fit somewhere on both scales.  So I made a chart of my own that shows how they fit together.  Personally, I’m in the top right corner, sex averse and (doing my best to be) sex positive.

[Image description: A three-by-three chart, similar to an alignment chart.  The left column is labeled “sex favorable”, the middle column is labeled “sex indifferent”, and the right column is labeled “sex averse/repulsed”.  The top row is labeled “sex positive”, the middle row is labeled “sex neutral”, and the bottom row is labeled “sex negative”.

The box in the top left of the chart reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, and I personally like to have sex.”  The box in the top middle reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, and I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The box in the top right reads, “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with people having consensual sex, but I personally don’t want to have sex.”

The middle-left box reads, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, and I personally like to have sex.”  The center box reads, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, and I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The middle-right box says, “I think it’s sometimes all right for people to have sex, but I personally don’t want to have sex.”

The box in the bottom left says, “I think sex is immoral, but I personally like to have sex.”  The bottom middle box says, “I think sex is immoral, but I personally don’t mind having sex.”  The bottom right box says, “I think sex is immoral, and I personally don’t want to have sex.”

End description.]

So yeah, you can be sex positive and sex repulsed, or sex neutral and sex averse, or whatever!  I’d say that a lot of American politicians are both sex negative and sex favorable.  If you need more information, I added my own descriptions of the seven terms below the cut.

(I really wish I hadn’t made this so long, LOL.  It took me way too long.  Please reblog so it’s worth it?)

Keep reading

[a-casual-fan]

Asexual people who feel pressured into having sex when they don’t want to and queer people that are afraid or ashamed of having sex even though they want to are actually being repressed by the same societal forces but nobody seems to want to talk about that