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Keep Moving Forwards, Part 31

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 5.1K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

You hated the way these shoes felt. The House of Wind had generously provided a pair of stunning blue pumps, but it had overlooked one crucial fact: you had about as much experience walking in heels as a baby fawn. The woods had not exactly trained you for this. You took a tentative step across your room, feeling your toes smash into the front of the shoes. While you were pleasantly surprised by your ability to balance, each mild shuffle felt like you were torturing your feet. You huffed, plopping down on the edge of the bed, your gown fanning out around you like a defeated banner as you blew a stray tendril of hair from your face.

Leaning down, you hiked the skirt up around your thighs, yanking your already reddened toes from their tiny prisons. From the doorway came a familiar chuckle, and when you glanced up, Azriel stood there, arms crossed, his wings casually fanned out behind him.

Straightening, you sat up with the shoes in hand before chucking them onto the carpet, where one heel clattered over the other. “Those are a death trap,” you declared, pointing at the offending objects.

“I could hear you cursing at them all the way down the hall,” he said, strolling over to sit next to you on the bed.

You dropped your hands into your lap, looking up at him with an exaggerated pout. “How are things downstairs?”

Azriel snorted lightly, a playful smile tugging at his lips. “Oh, you know, the usual chaos. Cassian decided to wear a different suit than the one Nesta picked out for him. Now she’s following him around, threatening to kill him in his sleep if he doesn’t change back.”

You laughed quietly, “That’s about what I expected. Anyone else here?”

Azriel rubbed his hands on his thighs, trying to dry some anxious sweat. “Elain and Lucien arrived a little while ago.”

“How’s Lucien?” you asked, curiosity piqued. Lucien had been very quiet about the ball, likely due to the complicated and still-tentative relationship between the Night and Autumn Courts.

Lucien had been navigating the treacherous waters of familial politics, attempting to reconnect with his estranged brothers. Since Eris had taken over the High Lordship—thanks to a mysteriously convenient assassination of their father—he’d been trying to mend fences with the rest of their testosterone-charged family. From what Elain had shared, Lucien and she had been attending various Autumn Court events and “family dinners,” which typically ended in a shouting match between one or more of the volatile males at the table. The couple often left before dessert, much to everyone’s relief.

Lucien’s reintegration into the Autumn Court had been rocky, to say the least. Many courtiers still viewed him with suspicion, especially after the revelation of his true paternity involving Helion. The court, with its rigid emphasis on bloodline purity, wasn’t exactly rolling out the welcome mat for him. His status was a delicate issue, and despite Eris’s attempts to shield him, Lucien was perpetually walking on eggshells.

You hadn’t yet had the pleasure—or the burden—of meeting Eris or any of Lucien’s other brothers. Tonight marked the first time Eris would attend a formal event at the House of Wind, and the stress of this high-stakes gathering was palpable. You could almost hear the collective holding of breath echoing through the grand halls.

Azriel chuckled, interrupting your thoughts. “Lucien’s playing it cool, but you can tell he’s a bit on edge. It’s like watching a fox trying to pretend it’s a housecat.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “What about you?” you asked, peering up at Azriel. He stared ahead toward the door, his usually calm demeanor slightly off-kilter. You could hear his heartbeat pumping faster than its normal steady cadence.

Azriel shook his head, his lips pressing together in a thin line. “I’m fine,” he said, though his tone betrayed a hint of unease.

You kept your gaze on him. This was one of the few times you’d seen Azriel genuinely unsettled, his usual composure slipping. “You sure?” you probed lightly, eyebrows raised in playful skepticism.

Azriel remained focused on the doorway, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“Your heart is beating quickly,” you replied, noting the slight rise and fall of his chest as he took a few steadying breaths, clearly trying to keep you from noticing. “You’re being more aloof than usual.”

Azriel’s brow furrowed, and he tilted his head, a mild offense coloring his expression. “Aloof?” He turned to face you, his brows knitting together. “I’m not aloof.”

You tilted your head to the side, your eyes widening with exaggerated incredulity. “Oh, come on.”

Azriel leaned forward, his dark eyes glinting with mock seriousness. “No, what do you mean by aloof? I’m not aloof.”

You pushed yourself up from the bed, rolling your eyes dramatically, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “Mr. ‘I use my shadows to eavesdrop on conversations and hide from groups of people’ thinks he isn’t aloof?” You made your way into the closet, hoping to find footwear that didn’t feel like medieval torture devices.

Azriel’s voice followed you, slightly indignant. “It’s my job!”

You squatted in front of the shoe rack, lined with elegant but impractical heels you had no intention of wearing. “Isn’t there a saying that if you love what you do, you never work a day in your life?” you called back, your fingers brushing over the backs of the shoes.

With a soft, almost magical rustle, a pair of midnight blue flats with a subtle orange shimmer appeared at the end of the shelf. You glanced upwards, a smile playing on your lips as you whispered a quiet thank you to the House.

Slipping them on, you sighed in relief, feeling like you’d been freed from a mini prison. You straightened your dress and walked back into the main room where Azriel now lay sprawled out on the bed, his legs dangling over the edge, feet touching the floor, his back and wings spread across the blankets as he stared at the ceiling.

He glanced sideways at you, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “You really think I’m aloof?”

You rolled your eyes again, walking over and wrapping your hand around the bedpost. “I think you’re introverted,” you replied, leaning your head against the wood, a teasing glint in your eyes. “And I don’t think that’s a bad thing.”

“Doesn’t that just make me charming and mysterious?” he asked, winking mischievously.

You chuckled, shaking your head. “If you have to plant the seed of charm and mystery in someone’s head, I think that answers your own question.” You pushed off the bedpost, moving to check yourself in the mirror.

The reflection staring back at you was almost unrecognizable. Your cheeks, once gaunt and shadowed, now had a healthy, rosy hue. Your eyes, once dull and lifeless, sparkled with a light you hadn’t seen in ages. The dark circles that had seemed a permanent fixture had faded. You looked more alive, and it was a feeling you were still trying to get used to.

You heard the rustle of the bed as Azriel sat up. Glancing at him in the mirror, you threw him a small smile. “I just want to make sure you’re doing okay,” you said.

Azriel met your gaze in the reflection, his expression softening. “I should be the one worried about you,” he replied, rising and pulling down the legs of his pants, straightening his jacket over his broad shoulders.

You turned to face him, leaning your hips against the dressing table, hands braced on either side. “Doesn’t mean I can’t also be concerned about your wellbeing.”

Azriel gave a tight smile, a hint of gratitude in his eyes. “I just don’t love these parties.”

Your own amused smile glimmered to your face as you crossed the room to him, your hands reaching up to straighten the collar of his jacket. The fabric was smooth and cool under your fingers, and you noticed the subtle blue threads woven into the dark cloth, catching the light with a gentle shimmer. Azriel’s eyes softened further, following your movements with a warmth that sent a flutter through your chest.

Satisfied with the collar’s alignment, you met his gaze, his eyes lingering on you with a gentle intensity. You patted his chest, feeling the firmness of his muscles beneath the finely tailored suit. “That’s the aloof part coming out.”

Azriel scoffed, rolling his eyes and pushing back slightly, though his lips twitched in a reluctant smile. “I prefer enigmatic.”

You laughed lightly, gripping his arm as he tried to pull away. “I’m sorry,” you drawled playfully. “Just was an easy shot.” You held onto his jacket a bit tighter as he pulled you to him, wrapping you in a bear hug. The warmth of his body seeped through the fabric.

“You’re insufferable,” he whispered, shaking you lightly, the vibrations making you giggle.

“And yet you suffer me,” you retorted, your face buried in his chest, muffling your laughter against the soft fabric.

Azriel released you, “Every day is a new day of suffering when you’re around,” he teased back.

From down the hall, the faint strains of violins and piano floated up the stairs, their melodies intertwining in a harmonious dance. 

Azriel sighed, looking down at you with a tight smile, though his eyes betrayed his amusement. “We should go down.”

You nodded as Azriel extended his elbow to you, the gesture almost comically formal. You stared at it, one brow arching incredulously. “Are we really these kinds of fae now?”

“Well, might as well put on a good show,” he responded, his lips quirking into a playful grin.

Wrapping your hands around his forearm, you felt the solid strength beneath his sleeve, the warmth of his skin through the fabric. His muscles relaxed slightly as your fingers pressed into him.

You and Azriel stepped out of the room, the soft glow of faelights casting a gentle sheen on the polished floorboards as you walked down the hall towards the source of the merry strains. The music grew louder, filling the air with a sense of festivity.

“I feel ridiculous,” you whispered, the dress rustling softly with each step.

“You should see how you look,” Azriel taunted, his tone light and teasing.

You gave him a hearty elbow in the stomach, feeling the firmness of his muscles under your nudge, though it barely moved him. “Kidding,” he quickly followed up, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “You look great.”

As you and Azriel descended the sweeping marble staircase, the strains of music grew ever more pronounced, each note reverberating through the grand hall and mingling with the fluttering of your heartbeat. The staircase was bathed in the soft glow of faelight, casting intricate patterns on the polished stone beneath your feet, and the opulent banister, adorned with golden filigree, gleamed in the ambient light. Azriel’s reassuring squeeze on your hand anchored you as you reached the bottom.

You pushed open the ornate double doors to the grand ballroom, your breath catching in your chest at the sight that unfolded before you. While you had been involved with the planning and decorations, the transformation of the space was nothing short of breathtaking. The room was a living, breathing embodiment of elegance, a symphony of colors, lights, and textures that seemed to pulse with a life of its own.

The ceiling soared above you, draped with cascading garlands of autumn leaves, their hues shifting from deep crimson to burnished gold, interwoven with shimmering strands of faelight. Chandeliers hung like glittering constellations, their crystal prisms scattering light in a thousand rainbows that danced across the gleaming floor. The walls were lined with tall, arched windows, their mullions draped in rich velvet curtains of deep blue.

The great hall was alive with movement and music, the harmonious melodies of violins and a grand piano filling the air, their notes weaving through the laughter and conversations of the fae in attendance. Fae of all courts glided across the floor in a whirlwind of flowing gowns and finely tailored suits, the vibrant fabrics swishing and swirling in time with the music. The variety of attire was dazzling, each ensemble more intricate and resplendent than the last.

You marveled at the Autumn Court attendees, their attire reflecting the splendor of their season. Gowns of fiery red, rich burgundy, and shimmering gold adorned the fae, their outfits detailed with delicate embroidery depicting leaves and vines, and accented with gemstones that sparkled like embers. The Night Court fae wore attire that mirrored the midnight sky, with deep blues, blacks, and silvers, their clothing often adorned with subtle, luminescent patterns that caught the light like distant stars. Spring courtiers flashed about in pastels and soft silks, while Day court attendees were drenched in golden jewelry.

You took in the sight of the dancers, their movements graceful and fluid as they twirled and spun across the floor. The room was a kaleidoscope of motion, the fae weaving in and out, their laughter a musical accompaniment to the live orchestra that played on a raised platform. Couples waltzed beneath the glittering chandeliers, their steps perfectly synchronized with the lilting strains of the music, their faces illuminated with joy.

Azriel’s hand tightened around yours, pulling you gently from your reverie. He led you into the room, his presence a comforting anchor amidst the overwhelming splendor. His eyes, always sharp and vigilant, softened as he took in your wide-eyed wonder. “You look like you’ve seen magic for the first time,” he murmured, his voice carrying a note of fond amusement.

Your gaze darted around the room, trying to absorb every detail. “It’s just… it’s so much more than I imagined,” you said, your voice barely above a whisper. 

Azriel smiled, his eyes twinkling. “Nesta outdid herself, didn’t she?”

You nodded, your eyes tracing the path of a garland that wove its way around the towering columns, each leaf seeming to flutter in an unseen breeze. “She did,” you agreed, your voice filled with awe. “It’s like stepping into a dream.”

It seemed that merely speaking her name conjured her, as Nesta, the ever-diligent hostess, glided through the throng of partygoers. Her face lit up in a bright smile the moment she spotted you, her eyes sparkling under the golden faelight. Her gown was nothing short of breathtaking: a flowing cream masterpiece with a high neckline and intricate pearl embroidery that darkened elegantly as it reached her neck. Her hair was an intricate marvel of its own, braided into a low bun adorned with tiny golden stars that shimmered delicately between the plaits.

“Y/N!” she greeted, her voice breaking into a smile as she reached out and clasped your hands, her touch warm and reassuring. “You look stunning!” she exclaimed, stepping back to take in your ensemble, her eyes dancing with delight as she looked you up and down.

“Look at you?!” you countered, motioning with a sweep of your hand over her exquisite gown.

Nesta smirked, gracefully lifting the skirt of her dress and giving it a playful twirl. “Isn’t it gorgeous?” she said, her voice brimming with pride and amusement.

From behind you, Azriel chimed in, his tone softer, “You look beautiful, Nesta.”

Nesta’s gaze shifted over your shoulder, her eyes narrowing slightly as she took in Azriel’s appearance. Her tongue pressed into her cheek, and a mischievous glint lit up her eyes. “Well, well, well, the Shadowsinger cleans up nicely.”

Azriel rolled his eyes, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.

Nesta’s expression softened, her smile turning genuine as she gave Azriel an appreciative nod. “You look great, Az.” Then, her attention snapped back to you. She lifted the upper skirt of your dress lightly, examining the material with a keen eye. “The House really outdid itself, didn’t it?”

You felt a small rush of gratitude, though it quickly turned to mild embarrassment as Nesta’s eyes narrowed slightly, her brows knitting together when she noticed your lack of heels.

You quickly smoothed down the dress, offering her an apologetic smile. “I couldn’t do the shoes.”

Nesta's eyes twinkled with amusement as she tilted her head. “I’m just impressed you convinced it to let you wear flats. The House usually prefers heels.”

You sighed in relief, your shoulders relaxing. “Well, I think it saw me struggling to take steps and decided not to let me scuff the floors all night.”

Nesta laughed, the sound warm and light. “I guess I’ll have to complain more.” She glanced over your shoulder, her eyes catching someone’s attention as she raised a hand to wave. “I have to do the rounds,” she said, already moving away, her attention shifting to the fae she was flagging down. “But I’ll see you a little later?”

You nodded, returning her smile. “Definitely.”

As she disappeared into the crowd, you turned to find Azriel leaning casually against the wall, his posture relaxed yet alert, his eyes scanning the sea of bodies. You joined him, standing close to his side. “I said hi to Nesta. Can we leave now?” you joked, a playful tone in your voice.

“I wish,” he grumbled, though his eyes softened as he looked at you.

You took a moment to absorb the scene, the room alive with color and movement. Gowns of deep emeralds, shimmering golds, and striking crimsons twirled in the warm glow of the chandeliers. The soft strains of violins wove through the air, mingling with the quiet hum of laughter and conversation. It felt as if you had stepped into a painting.

As you turned to comment, Azriel muttered something under his breath, his eyes narrowing. Before you could ask, he gently grasped your arm, pulling you closer with a surprising urgency.

You were about to protest when another male approached, cutting a striking figure in a white tunic with a low-cut V-neck, embroidered with swirling red and orange leaves along the collar, and a deep maroon jacket that framed his muscular frame. His skin, a creamy canvas, was freckled like a dusting of autumn leaves. The voice that crooned like smoldering embers purred, “Azriel. It’s been too long.”

You glanced up, taking in the male’s sharp, chiseled features—a jawline as defined as his toned chest, russet eyes flecked with gold, and ginger curls styled back with a hint of rebellion. His lower lip, full and inviting, curved into a smile that revealed dimples at the corners, adding a touch of charm to his otherwise imposing presence.

Azriel’s grip on your arm tightened slightly, a barely audible growl rumbling in his throat. The red-haired male’s grin was sharp, laced with a poison that seemed designed to provoke Azriel.

“Philip,” Azriel responded, his voice strained, almost choking on the name.

Philip’s eyes flicked over Azriel with predatory ease, sizing him up with a single glance. “You look halfway decent,” he said, his tone dripping with calculated condescension.

Azriel’s jaw tightened, his response terse, “As do you.”

Philip’s gaze shifted to you, his eyes lingering on where Azriel’s hand rested on your arm, as if he were contemplating where to place his own claim. His smile widened into a feline curl. “And who is this,” he paused, eyes sweeping over you, “stunning creature?”

Azriel took a deep, steadying breath, his fingers tracing the length of your arm to settle possessively on your lower back. “This is Y/N,” he said, his voice firm yet restrained, his jaw clenching ever so slightly.

Philip’s smile broadened, his long fingers extending towards you. “Exquisite,” he murmured, lifting your hand and pressing a kiss to it that lingered just a fraction too long. Azriel’s muscles tensed beside you, his grip tightening as Philip’s lips touched your skin.

When Philip straightened, his eyes darted back to Azriel, a flicker of satisfaction in their depths. “And to what do I owe the pleasure of meeting you?” he purred, his voice a silken caress.

Azriel exhaled sharply through his nose, his breath a barely restrained growl. “I’m a friend of Nesta’s,” you interjected, your smile syrupy sweet. You sensed the animosity crackling between the two males and refused to become a pawn in their unspoken battle.

Philip’s auburn brows arched, his head tilting in feigned curiosity. “I wasn’t aware Nesta kept such,” his gaze swept over you again, “delectable company.”

Your smile turned razor-sharp, your voice laced with saccharine defiance. “I like to think I elevate her tastes.”

Philip’s eyes glittered with amusement, his smile twisting into something more predatory. “Azriel,” he said, his tone almost playful, as he shifted his attention back to the Shadowsinger, “would you mind if I borrowed this,” his eyes flicked back to you, “most enchanting creature for a dance?”

Azriel’s jaw clenched visibly, his eyes narrowing as he fought to keep his composure. “Actually,” he began, his voice low and measured, “we were just about to—”

You placed a hand on Azriel’s chest, feeling the tension radiating from him. “It’s alright,” you said softly, though your eyes remained locked on Philip’s. “I wouldn’t want to deprive him of a dance.”

You felt Azriel’s fingers flex lightly on your back, a silent plea for caution. Before he could respond, you cut in, your voice laced with a subtle challenge, “I’m sure I don’t need Azriel to give me permission.”

Philip’s smile widened, a wolfish grin that didn’t reach his eyes. “Quite right,” he purred, extending his hand with an elegant, yet predatory flourish. You slipped your own into his grip, which tightened more than you liked, a vice masked as politeness. As he led you into the undulating crowd, you glanced back at Azriel. His eyes blazed, shadows pooling around his feet, his jaw set in a rigid line. You gave him a small nod, brows arching in reassurance, though it felt like a lie even to yourself.

Philip maneuvered you through the mass of swirling fae, his hand sliding possessively low on your hip, just shy of indecency. The kiss he planted on your hand was a charade of gallantry, a veneer over his palpable menace. He drew you close, the fabric of your dress whispering as it brushed against his maroon jacket, which seemed almost aflame under the ballroom’s lights.

His gaze pierced yours, an intensity that made your skin prickle. “So, why are you really here?” he murmured, his breath warm and dangerously close to your ear.

You moved with calculated grace, the swish of your dress a soft counterpoint to the music. “I’m sorry?” you replied, maintaining an air of innocent confusion.

“You’re not a court member,” Philip continued, his eyes flicking over you, assessing. “I’ve never seen nor heard of you. Your dancing lacks formal training,” he added, his voice dripping with condescension, “and you’re not even wearing heels.” His gaze flicked to your flats, though you resisted the urge to look down. “But most intriguingly, Azriel seems to have an interest in you. So, tell me, how did you infiltrate this social circle?”

The sugary sweetness in your tone dissipated, replaced by a cold edge. “Are you implying that I don’t belong here?”

Philip spun you into a light twirl, his grip tightening as you moved. “I’m simply saying it’s curious that the Night Court is now taking in strays.”

You swallowed the sting of his words, your voice icy. “Perhaps I’m just good company.”

“Oh, undoubtedly,” Philip conceded, his smile curling like smoke. “But good company doesn’t grant one the right to sit at the high lord and lady’s table.”

You matched his calculated turn with your own precision. “I’m not at their table.”

“But you’re living in their home,” he countered smoothly, pulling you closer, his chest brushing against yours. His eyes bore down on you, every inch the predator.

“Nesta and Cassian’s home,” you corrected sharply, trying to create even a semblance of space between you, though his grip remained ironclad.

Philip’s gaze never wavered, his expression one of calculated menace. “And what exactly is your business with Azriel?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you lied, your heart pounding, your composure slipping for just a fraction of a second.

A low growl rumbled from Philip’s chest. “My initial question was how much he was paying for your company tonight.”

The shock of his words hit you like a blow, but you recovered swiftly, though your pulse thundered in your ears. Your voice as sharp as broken glass. “I appreciate that you think I would be worth paying for, but I’m afraid I’m not in that business.”

Philip's purr deepened, an unsettling sound as he spun you again, his grip unyielding. “How much would you charge?” he asked, his words laced with a sickly sweetness that made your skin crawl.

“More than you could afford,” you snapped back, your smile a brittle veneer as he pulled you into him once more, the heat of his body oppressive.

“You may underestimate my affluence,” Philip countered, his voice a dangerous whisper.

“Philip,” you retorted, spinning out and back in, your movements more forceful. “There’s no amount in the world that would make me climb into your bed.”

For a moment, his mask slipped, irritation flashing across his face before he smoothed it away, his predatory smile reasserting itself. “You think highly of yourself.”

You lifted your chin defiantly. “Like I said, I elevate Nesta’s standards.”

“Indeed,” Philip said, his teeth flashing in a grin that was all sharp edges.

The music tapered off, the notes fading into a hum as applause rippled through the ballroom. Yet, Philip’s hold on you didn’t loosen, his eyes locked onto yours in a predatory stare, each of you testing the other’s resolve.

A familiar voice, deep and commanding, cut through the tension. “Philip,” Cassian announced, his presence a sudden, imposing shadow behind you.

Philip’s eyes flicked up above your head, his cocky grin faltering as Cassian loomed behind you, a massive figure even compared to the imposing Autumn Court heir. “Cassian,” Philip greeted, his tone strained but polite.

“I’ve been sent to retrieve this one,” Cassian announced, his heavy, reassuring hand settling on your shoulder like a comforting anchor.

Philip’s gaze returned to you, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he was trying to find a reason to hold on just a bit longer. The rumble of his voice vibrated through you. “Well then, thank you for the dance,” he purred, the murmur originating from deep within his chest where it pressed against yours.

You felt an odd mix of relief and lingering discomfort as Philip finally released you, the phantom sensation of his hands still lingering on your hips and back. You stumbled slightly into Cassian, who steadied you with his hands, broad and firm, gripping your shoulders. “The pleasure was all mine,” Philip finished, his voice dripping with false sincerity.

Cassian turned you from Philip, effectively blocking him from your view with his substantial frame. The sensation of taking your first full breath in what felt like ages was almost overwhelming. Had you even breathed since you set foot on the dance floor? You weren’t sure.

Cassian leaned in, his voice low and reassuring, “Way to hold your own out there.” You could hear the amusement in his tone, a contrast to the dread still buzzing in your veins.

As you navigated through the crowd, which parted effortlessly before Cassian like waves before a ship, you scanned the sea of faces for Nesta, expecting her to be at your destination. But instead, the crowd parted to reveal Azriel, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a shadow of tension easing from his features as his eyes found yours.

Turning to Cassian, who, you now noticed, wore a suit that clashed hilariously with Nesta’s meticulously chosen ensemble, you asked, “Didn’t Nesta need something?”

Cassian chuckled, a deep, rumbling sound that vibrated through his chest. “I have no clue. I’ve been avoiding her all night.” He steered you right up to Azriel, flashing him a triumphant grin. “Mission accomplished.”

Azriel merely rolled his eyes, though his posture relaxed a fraction. “What mission?” you asked, still feeling the residual tremor in your voice.

“The one where I get you away from Philip so Azriel doesn’t rip his spinal cord out and beat him with it,” Cassian replied cheerfully, clapping a hand on your shoulder as if you’d just completed a particularly grueling training session.

Azriel let out an exasperated scoff, his eyes darting to you with a mixture of apology and frustration. “No, I asked you to see if they were almost done dancing.”

Cassian shrugged, holding out his hands in mock innocence. “You asked me to ‘check in’ and ‘intervene’ if I thought things were going poorly. With my expert training,” he puffed his chest out slightly, a theatrical gesture, “I assumed things weren’t going well.”

You felt Cassian’s grip loosen slightly as he craned his neck around. “I gotta go,” he said hurriedly, his eyes wide with a flash of panic. He quickly melted back into the throng of party-goers.

Turning to see why he left so abruptly, you spotted Nesta bearing down on him with a glare that could cut diamonds. Her eyes were narrowed, a storm brewing behind them. It was clear that Cassian had sensed the oncoming tempest and had wisely chosen to make a swift exit.

You shifted your gaze back to Azriel, who was chewing on his lower lip, his leg bouncing restlessly against the wall. His eyes met yours, concern etched into his expression. “You okay?” he asked, his voice low and gentle.

You nodded, but the tremor in your voice betrayed you. “Yeah.”

Azriel’s gaze sharpened, reading the unease in your stance. “Need a break?” he suggested, his tone laced with understanding.

You nodded again, more fervently this time.

“Let’s go get some air,” Azriel said, his voice soothing as he pushed off the wall. His hand found its way to your lower back, guiding you gently but firmly. The warmth of his touch was a stark contrast to the lingering chill left by Philip, and though you flinched slightly at first, you allowed Azriel’s hand to remain there.

He steered you through the crowd, his path straight and purposeful. The swirl of colors and the murmur of conversations blurred around you as you focused on the cool promise of the outdoors. Azriel navigated through the sea of fae with ease, his hand never leaving your back.

Reaching a set of glass balcony doors, he pushed one open, and the rush of cool air hit you like a soothing balm. The tension that had coiled around you inside the ballroom began to unravel. You stepped out onto the balcony, the night air crisp and refreshing against your heated skin. The moonlight bathed the balcony in a soft glow, casting long shadows that danced gently with the breeze and as you took a slow breath out, the tendrils of mist curled out into the night. 

To my readers, I promise I will get consistent with my 12:00 posting again. Life has just thrown a few curveballs my way: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00 @caninne

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 30

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.7K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

In the days that followed, you did your best to brush off Azriel's lingering looks, rationalizing away the soft touches he gave your shoulders when you seemed nervous, or the small bowls of berries he brought when you appeared too lost in thought to eat. You couldn't let yourself get attached again, and you most certainly wouldn’t allow another person to be harmed because of you, even unintentionally. Each night, Azriel still crawled into bed with you, his warm body pressed against yours as you stared wide-eyed at the moonlit balcony, the gentle glow casting a silver sheen over the room. You’d feel his unconscious hand slide up your midsection until he held you against him, and while you yearned to sneak away to the other side of the bed, you couldn’t help but melt into the warmth he provided.

As the weeks turned into months, summer gracefully gave way to fall. The trees on the surrounding mountains ignited in a breathtaking display of oranges, yellows, and reds, painting a vibrant picture against the crisp, azure sky. The air carried a hint of earthy musk and the sweet decay of fallen leaves. You had started visiting Titania twice a week, giving her a break from the little ones who ran amuck in the house, barging into rooms without a second thought. The once daunting pleasure house, now a warm refuge, had become a second home. You became acquainted with the other residents, many of whom had children of their own, though none had been around during your earlier years with your mother.

Azriel often accompanied you on these visits, doing his best to navigate the admiring glances from both the female and male companions with a mixture of amusement and discomfort. Titania delighted in nudging you about how Azriel followed you like a lost puppy, her red, pointed fingernails tapping against your arm as she teased about the longing looks he cast your way and how he would talk about you to the children. You always rolled your eyes at her comments, though secretly they made your heart flutter.

Back at the House of Wind, the great hall was a hive of activity as preparations for the Autumnal Ball reached their peak. Nesta had taken charge, orchestrating the event with the precision of a general, her frustration mounting as Cassian and Rhysand debated over the shade of burnt orange for the decorations. The grand hall transformed under her meticulous care, wreaths of autumnal leaves strung about the room as though the guests would be dancing beneath a golden canopy. Faelight candles twinkled among the leaves, casting a warm, golden glow over the entire hall.

The Autumnal Ball, you knew, was more than just a lavish party. It was part of a delicate and ongoing effort to mend relations between the Autumn and Night Courts. Tensions had simmered for centuries, rooted in old grievances and power struggles. Eris, the Autumn Court’s heir, had agreed to this event as a gesture of goodwill, Rhysand hoping to bridge the gap and foster a fragile alliance. The symbolism was everywhere: the blending of traditional Autumn Court foods with the Night Court’s celestial touches, the mingling of courtly guests who had once been wary of one another. The ball was a dance of diplomacy as much as it was a celebration, a careful balancing act where every detail mattered.

The preparations had been intense. Nesta had demanded the finest bakers in Velaris learn to craft Autumn Court pastries and savory treats, adding a “Night Court spin” to each. The end result was a delectable spread featuring spiced apple tarts dusted with stardust sugar, warmed brie and cranberry compote, and no shortage of spiked ciders directly from Autumn Court vineyards and orchards, courtesy of Lucien. The scent of freshly baked goods and mulled spices filled the hall, mingling with the faint, earthy aroma of the fall leaves, creating an intoxicating blend.

You spent the afternoon assisting Nesta with the final adjustments—redraping tables that seemed no different to you after each attempt, readjusting punch bowls, and repositioning leaves for a more “rustic look,” as Nesta put it. You hadn’t expected to attend the ball, content with simply being part of the preparations. After all, you were just a guest in the House of Wind with no official standing in the Night Court.

But as the final touches were made, Nesta pulled you aside, her eyes sparkling with mischief. “So, how are you planning to do your hair for the ball?” she asked.

You stuttered, taken aback. “I didn’t realize…I mean, I didn’t think I was invited.”

Nesta’s face softened as realization dawned. “Of course you’re invited,” she said, almost scolding herself. “I’ll have a dress sent up to your room. Just do your hair however you like, and be ready to have some fun tonight.” She flashed you a foxlike smile, her eyes twinkling as she winked and scurried off to handle last-minute details.

—

You sat at your dressing table, wrestling with a particularly stubborn knot in your hair. The door creaked open behind you, and Azriel’s head appeared, his eyes reflecting the soft faelight from the room. You caught his gaze in the mirror as you tugged at the knot, wincing at the unpleasant “schrip” sound of the brush pulling free. Azriel’s face mirrored your grimace.

“Do you need help with that?” he asked gently, stepping into the room.

You sighed, your fingers running through your slightly damp hair. “No, I think I got it.”

Azriel nodded, Just checking in on you. Heard you got blindsided with an invite.”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you managed to smooth out the last of the knots. “A little bit.”

He gave you an easy, albeit apologetic smile. “Mind if I come in?”

You nodded, watching in the mirror as he slipped into the room. The suit he wore was all black, with spirals of sparkling blue embroidery swirling down the lapels, the same signature blue as his siphons. The polished shine of his dress shoes clicked against the floor as he dropped into the sitting chair beside the dressing table, slumping down with a casual grace, his fingers idly massaging his temple.

“Nervous?” he asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“Not at all,” you replied, though your voice betrayed you as another knot gave way with a wince.

Azriel chuckled lightly, standing to move behind you. “Your heartbeat’s going a million miles an hour.” You ripped another stubborn knot from your hair. “Want me to take over?”

Reluctantly, you handed him the brush, leaning back slightly as Azriel took it. He began at the ends of your hair, working his way up with gentle, careful strokes. His fingers brushed against your neck, sending a shiver down your spine. “These things,” he murmured, his voice low and soothing, “they’re just posturing.”

You looked at him in the mirror, noting how his focused gaze made his eyes seem softer, more earnest. “Nesta thinks this one’s important,” you replied.

Azriel’s brows lifted slightly as he continued to brush. “They are important. But a lot of it’s just about ruffling feathers and showing off wealth.”

“But we do care, right?” you questioned, your eyes meeting his in the reflection.

His hands paused for a moment as he pondered the question. “We definitely care. But I think there are better ways to handle diplomacy than by throwing parties.”

You quipped, “Is it just because you have to wear a suit and can’t wear your training clothes?”

Azriel’s eyes flicked to your reflection, a playful smirk tugging at his lips. “That’s part of it.” He gave you a gentle bop on the crown of your head with the brush, making you feign a greater deal of pain than it actually caused.

“Thanks,” you said as he handed the brush back to you.

Azriel sighed, settling back into the sitting chair, his knee bobbing up and down. You noticed the anxious energy in the motion, a tell you had come to recognize.

“What do I need to know?” you asked, and Azriel’s brow furrowed in mild confusion. “I mean, about the whole court ball thing,” you clarified.

Azriel shrugged, “Just chat with courtiers. Smile. Shake hands if someone offers. Feign interest in stories that bore you.”

“Is there anyone I should or shouldn’t talk to? Things I should or shouldn’t mention?”

Azriel grinned, “Maybe don’t insult anyone to their face.”

“Wasn’t planning on it, but thanks,” you replied, rising and wandering to the closet. Nesta had brought a dress into your room, wrapped in a dressing gown bag. You hadn’t yet had the heart to unzip it. Running your hands down the front of the bag, you sighed, pulling it from the hanger and trudging into the closet to change.

“Just stay close to me,” Azriel hollered from the room. “I’ll help you through it.”

“I don’t know why I’m going at all,” you called back, letting your robe drop from your shoulders.

“Why wouldn’t you?”

As you unzipped the bag, your breath caught in your throat at the sight of the gown. You exhaled slowly, pulling the dress from the bag and hanging it in front of you. “Just seems like I wouldn’t really need to be there,” you said, stepping into the gown.

“Well, Nesta wants you to come,” Azriel replied.

You slipped your arms into the sleeves, trying unsuccessfully to pull the zipper up behind you. You huffed, stepping out of the closet into the main room. “I need some help,” you said, showing Azriel the zipper you couldn’t reach.

But Azriel didn’t respond immediately. His eyes widened slightly as he took in the sight of you, his mouth agape.

“Too much?” you inquired, glancing down at the iridescent blue silk of the gown. Embedded with small stones that mimicked the night sky, it flowed in a gradient of burnt orange, deep red, and gold as it cascaded to the floor. The bodice, a deep midnight blue, was adorned with delicate embroidered patterns of autumn leaves and moonlit branches in metallic golds and silvers. The sleeves were sheer gauze that clung to your upper arms before billowing down, catching the light like mist.

Azriel blinked, shaking his head as if to clear it. “No, no,” he stammered. “It’s gorgeous. You—you look breathtaking.”

You let out a breathy laugh, feeling a blush rise to your cheeks. “It’s definitely more elaborate than anything I’ve worn before.”

“You make it look effortless,” Azriel replied, his voice soft with admiration.

You peered over your shoulder. “Zip me?”

Azriel quickly moved behind you, his touch gentle as he pulled the zipper up slowly. His eyes traced the small of your back to your shoulder blades, lingering for a moment before meeting your gaze in the mirror.

“I’m glad you like it,” you said, running your fingers through your hair.

Azriel glanced down at his own suit, a wry smile tugging at his lips. “You’ve certainly outshone me.”

You rolled your eyes, moving to sit at the dressing table, pulling on a small necklace of silver moons. Azriel watched you, then suddenly exclaimed, “Wait one second!”

You paused, turning to see him hurrying out of the room, his shoes clicking on the floor. He returned moments later, holding a small jewelry box. “Here,” he said, extending it to you.

You looked between him and the box. “What is it?”

“Just a necklace I think would look nice with the dress.”

You took the box, opening it to reveal a simple silver chain with a crescent moon pendant, hugging a small blue gem similar in hue to Azriel’s siphons. Your mouth dropped slightly. “This is beautiful.”

Azriel smiled, a light blush dusting his cheeks. “I’m glad you like it.”

Shaking your head lightly, you murmured, “I can’t accept this. It’s too much—”

“It’s nothing, just something I’ve had lying around,” Azriel interrupted, though his voice held a note of hesitation.

Not wanting to disappoint him, you smiled up at him. “Thank you,” you whispered.

Azriel’s eyes softened as he helped you with the necklace, his scarred fingers clasping it gently around your neck. The pendant fell against your skin, the blue gem catching the light. His touch lingered on your shoulders for a moment, his eyes meeting yours in the mirror.

“You really do look beautiful,” Azriel noted quietly.

You smiled at him, feeling warmth spread through your chest. “Thank you,” you replied, even more softly.

Azriel seemed to take you in, his gaze filled with pride and tenderness as he saw the transformation in you—the once broken figure now standing strong and radiant. His eyes shimmered with unspoken emotions, reflecting the light of the faelight.

“I should go check on Nesta,” Azriel finally said, “Make sure Cassian is still alive.”

You chuckled softly. “Good plan. I need to finish up anyway.”

Azriel gave you one last smile, his hand resting on your shoulder in a reassuring squeeze. “I’ll come back up in an hour and we can walk down together?”

You nodded, your heart swelling with gratitude and something deeper you couldn’t quite name. He squeezed your shoulder again, his fingers brushing against your hair as he turned to leave, his heels clicking softly down the hall. You looked into the mirror and for the first time in a long while, you almost liked what you saw.

To my consistent, readers, I'm sorry for the lapse in posting yesterday, I've had some family stuff come up that I had to take care of and writing took a bit of a backburner. Hoping to continue to post regularly from here on out! @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 29

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.6K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

In the days that passed, you often wondered how you were going to get through this—how you were going to heal from everything that had happened. More challenging still, was the question of how to find the will to want to heal. Azriel wanted you to live, not just survive. And you weren’t quite sure what he meant by that. To live means to continue with breath, although he didn’t mean it like that. He wanted you to thrive, to be alive, to feel the weight of the world as a companion instead of a burden. Yet every day you felt like you were failing. The progress you made—bathing more regularly, engaging in small pleasures like gardening and reading—was often undone by a moment of panic or a flash of anger. Every time you retreated into the safety of your shell, Azriel would be there at the entrance, extending a hand and gently coaxing you forward.

After seeking your permission, as well as Nesta’s and Cassian’s, Azriel moved back into the House of Wind. Initially, he claimed it was due to some upcoming meetings, but when no such meetings materialized, you realized he had moved back to be closer to you. He took up residence in the room across from yours, the same room where he had lived before he was gifted the townhouse. His room, like yours, was adorned in dark woods and muted tones, but Azriel’s choices leaned toward blacks and grays.

Six months passed, and under some gift of the Mother, you started to feel more like yourself again—the self that existed before Kai had died. You still lacked the courage to return to the barn where he was murdered, but at least you were becoming more comfortable walking in the streets near the site with Azriel. You ventured out more often, now two to three times a week, and began attending nightly dinners. On the nights you couldn’t bring yourself to join, no one made a fuss; they simply left food outside your door. You were healing, though the process was slow.

On one of your better days, you found yourself standing in Azriel’s doorway as he stood in front of the mirror, unbuckling one of his siphons and slipping it onto the table. You leaned casually against the doorframe, one shoulder supporting your weight as Azriel worked to unclasp the other.

“Where have you been?” you asked, crossing one bare foot over your ankle.

Azriel peered up from under his lashes and curls, resting his forearm on his thigh to get a better grip on the straps. “Windhaven,” he responded.

You nodded slightly, unsure what to say about that. Azriel had been spending more time in and around the war camps, though you hadn’t the heart to ask why. The mere thought of those camps made bile rise in your throat; you could almost smell the mud and filth clinging to him.

“How was your day?” you asked instead.

Azriel gripped one of the leather straps between his teeth, muttering something almost incoherent. “Fine.”

You rolled your eyes slightly as the strap slipped from his teeth, and he hissed in frustration. “Can we stop doing this every night and just let me help from the start?” you asked from the doorway. Azriel always struggled to remove the arm bands, and every night you stood there, chatting with him until he finally asked for help.

Azriel paused, looking up at you through his curls and lashes. “I got it,” he insisted.

“See, but you don’t got it,” you replied. “Since I’ve known you, you’ve never got it.”

Azriel, gripping the strap in his teeth again, garbled out, “If you had any faith in me at all…” Before he could finish, the strap slipped from his mouth. He looked up at you as you caught your giggle in the back of your throat. He merely sighed and extended his arm. “Fine.”

You took a few steps into the room, crossing the threshold as you had done every night these past months. Instinctively, you took his arm in your palm, using the other hand to pull the strap as Azriel looked down at you. “You got a sunburn on your nose,” he noted.

You looked up at him under your brow, quizzically. “No, I didn’t.”

“I’m looking at your nose. It’s red,” he replied.

You felt the siphon come loose in your hand and placed it on the dresser. Turning to gaze into the mirror, your fingers flew to your nose to investigate.

Azriel leaned in, his hands on the dresser as he scrutinized your reflection. “Definitely wasn’t that color this morning,” he said, shrugging.

“You’re seeing things,” you replied, turning away from the mirror.

Azriel did the same, towering above you as he looked down. “Why would it be so bad if you did?”

“It’s not that it’s bad, it’s just that I’m not sunburnt,” you replied shortly.

“Agree to disagree,” Azriel said, his voice teasing as he shrugged again.

“Oh, so now you’re the expert on my skin tone?” you shot back, a playful glint in your eye.

He grinned, leaning closer. “Well, I do spend a lot of time looking at it.”

You rolled your eyes dramatically. “That’s comforting. Why are you home so late?”

Azriel just responded, “I had a meeting that ran long.” And then quickly followed it with, “Why are you up?”

“I couldn’t sleep.”

Although Azriel knew this. Every night, you had been waking up in fits of screams as your mate meticulously etched away your wall piece by piece, slithering into your subconscious. For the first three months, Azriel would come running into your room to wake you up in a panic. Eventually, he just started checking in on you throughout the night, gently waking you before your dreams could drag you under. On the nights he didn’t get there fast enough, you’d ask him to crawl into bed with you, his presence and body heat calming your shaking. Eventually, he started sleeping in your room with you just to make everything easier. He started out in the armchair across the room, but when you noticed how stiffly he moved the next day, you invited him to sleep in the bed.

Whenever he was gone overnight, your nightmares were worse, but you never told him that. Tonight, when Azriel came home late, you hadn’t allowed yourself to sleep at all, scared of what your mate might do to you, so you stayed up reading until you heard Azriel walking down the hall and scurried out of bed to get to his room.

He slipped off his shin leathers and chest plate, looking over at you as you leaned against the bedpost, one finger tracing the intricate swirls. “Do you want me to sleep in your room tonight?” he asked, pulling the hem of his shirt up and tossing it onto the bed. Your eyes traced his abdomen, the many black intricate designs snaking along his sides.

“Could you?” you asked as he wandered into the bathroom, his wings tucked neatly behind him.

You heard him holler from the bathroom as he turned on the shower, the water hitting the floor with a hissing splash. “Did you have a nightmare?”

“No, no,” you responded as he threw his pants out of the bathroom door. “Just couldn’t sleep.”

You crawled up onto his bed, sliding your feet under the throw blanket at the foot. Your nightgown curled up over your thighs as you rested your head on your knees, your fingers absentmindedly picking at the fur.

You listened to the splashing from the bathroom as Azriel washed, the warm, soothing scent of cedarwood wafting out. You remained there until he turned off the showerhead with a squeak. He emerged, a towel draped loosely around his waist. You were so comfortable with him now that you didn’t even question it. His hair fell in wet curls on his brow. “Are you worried about tomorrow?”

You were meeting Titania for the first time since Kai had passed away. You had learned that when she had seen you and Caelum in the square, over half a year ago now, she had gone to the guard’s station and alerted them of your name and what was happening. After reporting it up, Azriel immediately sprang into action, searching for you in the city and then using his shadows to follow your path into the forest. You hadn’t spoken with her since that day, out of fear of what it might do to you. But you had finally been brave enough to reach out. She quickly responded, asking to see you, and tomorrow was the meeting day.

“Oh yeah,” you admitted.

Azriel opened the closet door, stepping in as he called back, “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you replied, continuing to pick at the fur. “I think I’m just worried about how she’s going to be.”

Azriel stepped back out, now wearing a pair of loose-fitting black shorts, his hands ruffling the towel through his hair as he walked back to the bathroom. “How so?” he asked.

You shrugged. “A lot's changed. Some pretty intense stuff happened.”

Azriel called from the bathroom, “Stuff that is—”

You cut him off. “Not my fault.” You finished, rolling your eyes.

Azriel reappeared, crossing the room to stand at the foot of the bed. “We’re going to keep saying that until you believe it.”

You rolled your eyes again at him as he chuckled softly. “Do you think you’re worried about what you might find out?”

You looked up at him, as he braced himself between the two bedposts. “I don’t know what more there is to learn.”

“So then what are you worried about?”

You shook your head slightly, “I don’t know. I just feel nervous.”

Azriel gave you a soft smile, “You worry for no reason.”

“I know,” you said, feigning a frown.

“Can we please go to bed? I’m exhausted,” Azriel begged, slumping slightly between the bedposts.

“Yes,” you conceded, sliding off the bed and walking in front of him across the hall. You climbed into your own bed, Azriel following behind you as you lay down, turning away to face the French doors as his body curled around yours, his arm resting on your shoulder. You felt his whole body press against you as your own relaxed, breathing in and out deeply as the faelight in the room dimmed.

After a few moments, you said into the darkness, “I think I’m worried she’s going to judge me.”

Azriel’s eyes remained closed as he slurred out the words, “Judge you for what?”

You shrugged, knowing he could feel it. “How I’ve reacted to all of this. If she thinks I should have done something else.”

Azriel muttered, “Why would she think that?”

“Because she might think I’m doing the wrong thing.”

“In terms of what?”

“Getting better.”

Azriel arched his neck slightly. “You think she’s going to judge you for getting better?”

You turned your head to look back at him, the moonlight just illuminating the soft curves of his face. “Like she thinks that I’m moving on too quickly. That I should be more sad still.”

“Y/N,” Azriel said, resting a hand on your side, “No one is going to think that. They’re just going to be happy to know you’re okay,” he replied.

You nodded, turning back towards the doors as Azriel lay his head back down on the pillow behind yours.

You nuzzled your face into the soft relief of the pillows, taking a few slow breaths as Azriel’s chest rose and fell behind you, pressing gently against your back. In sleep, he reached his arm around, pulling you closer, and you obliged. You had felt conflicted when Azriel had started sleeping in here with you, worried about what Kai or others might think. But Azriel had merely shrugged and noted, “It’s no one else’s business. If it helps you sleep, then it’s all that matters.” He had made it clear that his only intention was to help you find peace and rest.

—

The next morning, you dragged your feet, reluctant to get out of bed. Azriel had already left before dawn, as he always did, heading out early for training but always returning in time to join you for breakfast. When you didn’t appear at your usual time, he came looking for you, finding you still curled up in bed, awake but unwilling to face the day. With a gentle persistence, he helped you up, hauling you from the bed. You finally joined him at the breakfast table half an hour later, barely eating, just pushing a piece of fruit around your plate. Even the flight down to the city was quieter than usual.

Azriel landed a few blocks away from Titania’s, immediately scanning the streets with a watchful eye. “Can you not go full warrior mode?” you asked, rolling your eyes.

Azriel’s gaze met yours, softening as he explained, “Sorry. This just isn’t the safest part of the city.”

“You forget I was born here,” you reminded him, turning away and taking a few steps into the street. 

Azriel fell in step behind you. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

In no time, you found yourself standing in front of Titania’s place. The daylight revealed how worn down the building was—faded yellow walls with peeling paint, a sign hanging from rusted chains, and stairs that crumbled under your feet as you approached. You used the doorknocker that haunted your memories, the sound reverberating through you. Azriel stood at the base of the stairs as Titania opened the door, her eyes lighting up when she saw you.

“My love!” she exclaimed, throwing the door wide open and wrapping you in a warm embrace, pressing a kiss to your cheek. You knew a red stain would be left behind. She looked down the stairs at Azriel, then back at you with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh,” you said, “Titania, this is Azriel, a friend who’s been helping me.”

Azriel bounded up the steps, extending his hand to Titania. Her red, pointed fingernails grasped his as she gave him a sly smile. “A pleasure,” she remarked. “Please, come in!”

Inside, the summer heat turned the pleasure house into a stifling oven. With no air circulating, everything felt stagnant and sticky, the scent of bodies and arousal heavy in the air. You followed Titania into her sitting room, where she took an oversized red wingback chair, motioning for you to sit on the sofa. Azriel settled beside you, his eyes flickering between you and Titania, his expression gentle but guarded.

Titania leaned forward, fingers resting lightly on her cheek, gazing at you with a warm smile. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to reach out,” she said.

“I know,” you replied, looking down at your hands clasped in your lap. “I should have gotten in touch sooner.”

“It’s completely fine, my love,” Titania interrupted. “No worries about that. I knew you were safe, and that’s all that matters.”

You glanced up to see Azriel giving you a supportive smile, his eyes twinkling with an unspoken “I told you so.”

“Still,” you continued, “I put you in a very dangerous position.”

Titania shook her head, her expression softening. “You didn’t have a choice. I’m just glad I ran into you.”

You met her gaze, your eyes filling with gratitude. “Thank you. You saved me. Thank you so much.”

Titania’s smile grew, and she leaned forward, her eyes shimmering. “I’m just so glad you’re safe.” She paused, her voice trembling slightly. “How are you doing?”

You bit your lip. “Some days are better than others,” you admitted. “I’m still struggling a lot just day to day, but I seem to be balancing out the good and bad days.”

Titania nodded, murmuring her approval.

“What about you?” you asked.

She gestured around, a hint of weariness in her smile. “Same thing. Different day.”

You chuckled lightly. As you did, the creak of a door and the thumping of little feet caught your attention. Titania perked up, standing and moving quickly to the door, poking her head out. “Oi!” she hollered. Giggling erupted from the hallway—children. “Get over here,” Titania ordered.

Two small girls appeared, one a toddler and the other around third-grade age. The older one had red curly hair and freckles, while the toddler had a single blonde tuft of hair tied with a ribbon. “Where do you think you’re going?” Titania questioned.

The older girl swayed back and forth, glancing up at Titania. “We were going to see Mama.”

“Mama’s working right now,” Titania responded gently. “I thought I told you to stay outside until Mama came to get you. Did you not hear me?”

The toddler reached up, calling softly, “Mama, mama,” over and over. Titania sighed, picking up the child and bouncing her lightly. “Mama is working, my love.” The little one clung to Titania’s bony shoulder, her tiny fingers tangling in Titania’s hair. The older girl peeked out around Titania’s dress, her gaze fixed on Azriel’s wings with wide-eyed wonder as she pushed past and into the room.

“Jesmerle, get back over here!” Titania hissed.

Jesmerle ignored her, her eyes still on Azriel. “Why do you have wings?” she asked, her tiny voice filled with awe.

Azriel smiled, crouching to her level. “Because I was born with them.”

Jesmerle nodded, accepting the answer. “Ohh,” she said, before noticing Azriel’s hands. “Why do your hands look like that?”

Titania hissed her name and reached for her arm, but Azriel held up a hand, still smiling. “It’s alright,” he said. Titania hesitated, dropping it as Azriel continued. “When I was little, I got burned on my hands, and they couldn’t heal fast enough.”

“Do they hurt?” she asked, her eyes wide with curiosity.

Azriel twisted his hands back and forth, inspecting them with a thoughtful look. “Sometimes,” he replied softly, “but mostly no.”

“What’s your name?” Jesmerle asked quickly.

“Azriel,” he replied, extending his hand. “And yours?”

“Jesmerle,” she said, shaking his hand with a shy smile.

Titania, still holding the toddler, watched with a mixture of amusement and exasperation. “Titania, can Azriel come play with me?” Jesmerle asked, looking up at her.

Titania started to reply, but Azriel beat her to it. “I would love to! If Titania is alright with it, of course.”

Titania rolled her eyes, a resigned smile on her face. “Fine. But only for a few minutes, and then he has to come back.” She tried to put the toddler down, but the child fussed, reaching out for Azriel.

Without hesitation, Azriel took the toddler from Titania, introducing himself to the little one who babbled and smiled at him, repeating, “Mama, mama,” which made Azriel grin.

Titania sighed, “Only a few minutes. And then bring him back here, or I’ll come get him.”

Jesmerle gave a half-hearted agreement, taking Azriel’s hand and leading him up the stairs. You watched them go, Azriel asking Titania questions you couldn’t hear before they walked out the front door, the toddler still clinging to him.

“He’s quite charming,” Titania said, turning to you with a raised eyebrow. “Where’d you find that one?”

You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly. “I didn’t find him. He’s just been helping me get back on my feet.”

Titania chuckled, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “I’d certainly get swept off my feet if I was shacking up with him.”

“Stop,” you laughed, shaking your head. “It’s not like that.”

Titania’s eyes widened playfully. “So you’re saying he’s available?”

“You’re funny,” you said, giving her a mock stern look. “It’s not like that.”

Titania leaned back in her chair, a knowing smile on her lips. “So there’s nothing going on between you two?”

“No,” you replied, shaking your head.

“Are you sure?” she prodded.

You looked at her, a bit confused. “Yes?”

Titania gestured toward the door where Azriel had disappeared. “I’ve seen a lot of males with a lot of females, and I know that look he’s giving you.”

You tilted your head, genuinely curious. “What look?”

“Are you blind, my love?” she asked, leaning forward. “He watches your every move. He’s constantly adjusting to you and where you are to make sure you’re comfortable. Not to mention, he smiles every time you speak.”

You rolled your eyes, though a blush crept up your cheeks. “He’s just being kind.”

“I’m sure he is,” Titania nodded, her smile softening. “But I think he also really wants to know you better.” She winked.

“It’s not like that,” you insisted, though your voice wavered slightly.

Titania raised her hands in mock surrender. “Okay, okay. But I’m just saying, he looks at you like someone who’s pining.”

You looked down at your hands, feeling a swirl of emotions. “No. It’s nothing like that.”

The room grew quiet, the tone shifting to something more serious. Titania’s gaze softened as she studied your face. “You know it’s okay to open up to that?”

“To what?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

“Love,” Titania responded quietly.

“What? No,” you replied, shaking your head.

“Maybe not now,” she conceded gently. “But it seems like this Azriel is making you happy right now, or at least helping you to feel better.”

You nodded, feeling a lump in your throat.

“And if that’s something you want to pursue further, I don’t want you to hold yourself back.”

“Doesn’t that seem a little early?” you asked, your voice trembling.

“My love, it only matters how your heart is healing,” Titania said softly.

You shook your head, trying to reconcile your feelings. “It feels wrong.”

“If it feels wrong, it is for you,” Titania agreed, her tone understanding. “But that doesn’t mean it will feel wrong forever. And when it doesn’t feel wrong, know that it means you aren’t forgetting him. You’re just living on.”

“To live on,” you repeated, the words feeling foreign yet comforting. “What a funny concept.”

“Funny, maybe,” Titania said, reaching out to gently touch your hand. “But also a beautiful one.”

Lovely readers: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 28

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.4K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

The field was dark, an abyss of blackness swallowing any trace of light. Your heart thundered in your ears. Breath came in ragged, desperate gasps as if you had been fleeing for miles. You clutched a tree for support, the bark’s roughness biting into your fingertips as you bent over, gasping. Your chest seared with pain, each inhale tinged with the metallic taste of blood.

Staggering forward into the field, your legs quivered, each step a monumental effort, your feet sinking heavily into the tall grass. The grass, whispering and swaying in the chilling breeze, brushed against your knees. You pressed a trembling hand to your chest, feeling your heart’s wild, erratic beat as you struggled to steady your breath.

The eerie, rustling sound of leaves, like hushed whispers, filled the air around you. Your eyes darted frantically, expecting to see something—anything—lurking in the shadows of the trees encircling you. 

You ventured further into the field, muscles screaming for respite, when a chilling sensation crawled up your spine. Instinctively, you glanced back, and there, in the sinister darkness, a pair of glowing red eyes stared back from the shadows of the trees. The sight sent a jolt of terror surging through you, as if a bird had taken flight in your chest, its wings battering your ribs. You gasped, fear tightening your throat.

Panic gripped you as you forced your legs into a shaky sprint, each step a struggle against the fatigue dragging at your limbs. You dared another glance over your shoulder—the eyes had vanished, replaced by the void, more terrifying than their malevolent glare. Turning back, your blood ran cold as the eyes reappeared across the field, burning with an insatiable hunger.

You froze, heart pounding wildly, your feet slipping out from under you as you crashed backward into the tall grass. The world vanished behind a screen of fluffy stalks, now ominous tendrils obscuring your vision. Footsteps, heavy and deliberate, echoed across the field, growing louder, closer, and faster than you thought possible. You clawed at the ground, desperately trying to regain your footing, but before you could rise, a cold grip seized your collar.

The ground fell away as you were yanked violently into the air, your body dangling helplessly. You weighed nothing to this creature, its immense strength holding you suspended. Your breath caught, and you turned, eyes wide with terror, to face your captor.

Its reflection loomed before you, a nightmarish visage—a gaping, cavernous mouth lined with razor-sharp teeth, stretching wider, wider. Massive wings unfurled behind it, casting an ominous shadow that swallowed the field. You saw yourself in the gleaming eyes, a tiny, helpless figure about to be devoured. The monstrous jaws closed in, your scream cut off as you were plunged into the darkness of the beast’s maw.

—

Your eyes flashed open as your final scream tore from your lungs, a raw, desperate sound that scraped painfully against your burning throat. Thrashing wildly, you felt the cool night air kiss your sweat-drenched forehead, your hair plastered to your clammy skin. Your breaths came in short, hoarse gasps. As your vision focused, you saw Azriel perched on the edge of your bed, his eyes wide with concern, his wings pulled tight in behind him.

Azriel’s face softened, etched with a delicate mix of worry and compassion as he leaned closer. You screamed again, your heart racing, your body trembling as you clutched the blankets tighter around you. The monstrous image from your nightmare lingered, making Azriel’s silhouette against the dim room seem almost surreal. 

Azriel lifted his hands slowly, palms facing you in a gesture of peace. His bare chest heaved with deep breaths as he spoke gently, “It’s okay. You’re safe.” He called, as he attempted to fight against the tempest of your fear, though your heart continued to beat furiously, struggling to distinguish between dream and reality.

Maintaining his distance, Azriel’s expression became calmer, though his eyes retained their deep concern. “Y/N, just breathe. It’s me, Azriel. You’re safe,” he murmured softly,

Your breaths began to slow, each inhale still shaky and uneven. Azriel remained motionless, a living statue in his spot, watching you intently. As your head finally dropped forward, he lowered his hands and edged closer to you. Kneeling at the side of the bed, his scarred hands reached up to cradle your face, his eyes searching yours with tender worry as his thumbs traced gentle lines down your cheeks. “Just breathe,” he whispered again, his tone laced with what felt like sugar. 

Taking a few trembling breaths, you felt a modicum of calm returning. “Good. You’re okay. It’s okay,” Azriel reassured, his voice a soft murmur. You placed your hands over his, and for a fleeting moment, he seemed poised to pull back, but your firm grip kept him in place. His hands readjusted, fingers slipping behind your ears for a steadier hold.

You leaned into his touch, your forehead brushing against his. Azriel’s curls mingled with your hair as he gently pressed his forehead to yours, your labored breaths mingling in the shared space. “Just keep breathing,” he reminded you softly.

Your breaths transformed into sobs, the first wretched sound tearing from your throat. Azriel pulled back slightly, eyes wide with concern. “Oh no,” he crooned, his voice thick with empathy. “What’s wrong?”

The weight in your chest seemed to sink to your feet as your sobs grew louder, each one a release of the suffocating anguish. Azriel hesitated, his hands faltering as he sought to comfort you. You pressed harder against his hands, refusing to let go. Azriel, taken aback by your need for his touch, quickly resumed his tender caresses, his forehead returning to rest against yours.

As your sobs wracked your body, Azriel lifted his chin, shifting to rest it on top of your head. You moved, leaning the side of your face against his chest, feeling the steady thrum of his heartbeat against your ear. Slowly, you slid out of the bed, collapsing onto the floor beside him. Azriel adjusted seamlessly, pulling you into his lap so that you sat nestled within his crossed legs. Your legs curled up, resting on his thigh as he cradled your back, your face buried in the crook of his neck. Another sob escaped you, muffled against his warm skin.

Azriel rocked gently back and forth, his arms encircling you. His earlier questions faded into a soft, comforting silence, replaced by the gentle sway of his embrace. His hand traced soothing patterns across your upper back while the other wrapped securely around your knees, holding you close. Your own hands clenched into fists in your lap.

Azriel’s whispers became a steady murmur, his voice a tender caress amidst the tears. “You’re okay,” he repeated, his breath warm against your temple. He held you through the storm of your sobs, as you shook through remnants of your nightmare. As your sobs subsided into hiccups and your breathing steadied, Azriel continued to rock you gently.

After what felt like hours, Azriel finally shifted slightly to look down at you, as though to check if you were asleep. You peered up at him under your lashes as he smiled lightly. “Hi,” he whispered.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered back.

He merely smiled again. “Don’t be. This is part of the healing.”

You turned your face back to his chest, relishing the warmth radiating from him. “I don’t want to heal anymore,” you said weakly, exhaustion allowing some of your deepest thoughts to surface. “I want to feel like I want to live again.”

You felt Azriel’s heart jump momentarily, but all he whispered in response was, “I know. It’s really, really hard.”

Your eyes remained wide open as you asked, “What did I do to deserve this?”

Azriel resumed his gentle rocking. “You didn’t do anything.”

You felt the words spilling out faster than you could contain them. “I was a child, and she just left me. She took me away from everyone and left me alone.”

Azriel squeezed you slightly tighter. “I know.”

“I just wanted someone to love me,” you continued, your voice breaking. “Anyone who would love me. I just wanted someone who would stay.”

“I know,” he whispered back.

“I thought things were going to get better. And then they didn’t. He was cruel to me every single day. And I just couldn’t do it. I couldn’t take the torment anymore. I thought the only way out was to escape or die. So I chose to escape.”

“You did the right thing,” he murmured.

“Anthea, she died because of me,” you whispered again.

“Y/N, no,” Azriel tried to stop you, but you kept going.

“I don’t know why I felt like I could take him on. My mate was beating me relentlessly and I never fought back, and then all of a sudden I’m brave enough to do it for someone else? And she still died.”

Azriel continued to murmur encouragements to you.

“And then after she died, I went on living like nothing had happened. I just let her die, and I found someone else to love, and then he died. And now I’m going to live my life afraid of the dark,” you squeaked out.

“Y/N,” Azriel started, “I swear to you that this isn’t going to be how you always feel.”

You shrugged lightly. “It’s what the Mother decided I deserved.”

“The Mother is not cruel enough to do that.”

“Then why did this happen? Why was it decided I would be mated to him? Or that Anthea would be allowed to wallow in that camp? Or that Kai would die because of being with me?”

“It isn’t for us to know why the Mother does what she will.”

“So I just have to live knowing my life will always hurt? Or be afraid that even if I get better, it’s going to hurt again?”

Azriel leaned back slightly to look at you, his black curls illuminated blue by the light of the moon as his hazel eyes gazed down at you, laced with pain. “Y/N, if it’s up to me, I’ll never let you get hurt again.”

“No one can promise that.”

Azriel’s face scanned yours. “The world is full of horrible, terrible things, and it’s full of those who want to harm one another. They do it to people who don’t deserve it. They do it for control, for pleasure, for insecurity. And the people it happens to don’t deserve any of it. The poor, little girl who felt left behind didn’t deserve to have a mother who would do that. The young female who fell in love quickly and had a strong urge to fulfill a natural bond doesn’t deserve to be punished by the person she devoted her love to. And the female in front of me now didn’t deserve to watch that same male slaughter someone she cared deeply about. But you don’t deserve to have to witness or feel any of that. And gods, Y/N, when I say that I know what that feels like, to witness terror and anguish and feel like you earned that pain, you aren’t alone in it. But you aren’t going to feel this way forever. And I swear to you, on the Mother, the Cauldron, and whoever is listening, that if for the rest of your life you never experience pain again, it will be too soon. Because you deserve to be happy, to love, and to feel joy without the fear that it’s going to be taken from you. You were dealt a terrible hand, and the world seems like it’s against you, but you have to know that I am your ally in this. I am on your side. And if I could share this burden with you, if I could take even a second of that pain so you could sleep, I would.”

You looked up at him as he finished, blinking slowly as you took him in.

“Why do you do this?” you asked, barely above a whisper.

“Do what?” Azriel asked, his head tilting.

“Why do you care for me like this?” you questioned. “You’ve helped me heal, you’ve let me stay, you’ve convinced your family to help me. And I never did anything for you.” You shook your head in confusion.

Azriel gave you a tight-lipped smile, thinking for a moment. “Because I had never seen anyone more determined to live than you,” he whispered. You didn’t respond, just looking at him. “Everything has been against you, everything has hurt, burned, or scorned you. And yet you fight to live and survive, and never in my centuries of life have I seen someone with a passion to live like yours. You choose to keep surviving and living. And I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to watch you live.” He whispered. And in that moment, something shifted, as though the cement weight in your stomach lifted and then fell back down. But you felt yourself leaning into his chest, your lips parting softly as you felt his warm skin heat your face. Azriel curled into you, his chin pressing into your head as he began rocking again. “I want to see you live,” he whispered once more.

You felt the chill of the wind hit your bare ankles, and you shivered lightly. Azriel, noticing this, shifted his weight forward and was suddenly on his feet as he picked you up, your legs falling over his arms as he lay you down in the bed, pulling up the blankets on you. When you paused him, “Wait,” you said, your hand hitting his wrist. “Can you stay a while?” you asked.

Azriel’s face bloomed slightly as you asked, and he nodded. “Of course.”

You scooted over in the bed slightly, the sheets pulling with you as you pulled back the covers. Azriel lifted one leg tentatively in, the other following behind as he sat with his back against the headboard. You moved in closer as he shimmied down until his neck was craned against the top of the bed. You rested your head on his chest, his heartbeat ringing through your head as you felt its pace quicken slightly. Azriel let his hand fall to your shoulder, drawing lazy circles on the exposed skin as the other rested behind his head. Without thinking, you allowed one leg and arm to drape over him, nearly both extending before finding the other side of him. You stared ahead, across the room as you felt a fog lift slightly, and as you pushed down the guilt that rose in your throat. For this one moment, you chose to let the world feel safe again, one moment, before you might slam that door shut again.

We getting warm and fuzzy: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 27

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.2K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

You followed Azriel back through the bustling streets, his presence shielding you from the throng of people. The tips of his wings bobbed slightly with each step, a beacon guiding you through the crowd. He glanced over his shoulder occasionally, his eyes finding yours to ensure you were keeping pace. Despite the crowd, your return to the townhouse felt much shorter than your initial journey into town.

Azriel bounded up the steps of the townhouse, pausing at the entryway porch, waiting for you to catch up. His smile was gentle, imbued with a patient understanding that seemed to anchor you. He opened the door, stepping aside to let you enter first. You stepped into the entry hall. The grandeur of the space, with its high ceilings and ornate decor, seemed to echo the majesty of the House of Wind.

Azriel shrugged off his coat, hanging it on the coat rack with practiced ease. You stood still, taking in the stained glass overhead, constellations depicted in rich hues of blues and purples, creating a celestial tapestry. The air was filled with a subtle, comforting scent—an inviting blend of old wood, ink, and something floral. Azriel approached you, his hand rested tentatively on your shoulder, sending a shiver down your spine. You jumped slightly at his touch, and he immediately pulled back, his eyes widening in surprise.

“Sorry,” he murmured, “I just wanted to get your coat.”

Without thinking, you blurted out, “I thought we were going to the House of Wind.”

Azriel’s eyes dimmed slightly, a hint of sadness crossing his features. “No, sorry. I meant we were going back to—”

“Your house,” you finished for him, your voice tinged with an unintentional sharpness that immediately made you wince.

Azriel quickly turned to retrieve his coat. “That’s no problem. We can go back.”

“No!” you said, reaching out to stop him, your hands catching his arm. “No, we can stay here.”

Azriel’s tension eased, his shoulders relaxing as he turned to you, his eyes softening. “You’re sure?”

“Yes, this is fine,” you reassured him, your voice steadier now.

Azriel’s smile deepened, a gentle curve that seemed to light up his entire face. He slipped off his coat again, hanging it back on the rack. “Great!” He said, “I can take your coat.”

You hesitated, then slowly turned away to unbutton it. The simple act of removing your coat in front of Azriel felt dirty, removing anything in front of him felt wrong. You turned back, passing the coat to him, your fingers brushing against his for a moment longer than necessary. Azriel’s touch was warm, his hands steady as he took the coat and hung it beside his own.

He took a step closer. “We don’t have to be here long,” he said gently. “I just need to get a little work done.”

“Isn’t your work just spying on people?” you asked, unintentionally sarcastically. 

Azriel’s expression shifted to playful indignation. “Um, no, my job includes a lot more than just spying.”

You raised an eyebrow. “Like what? Sneaking?”

Azriel chuckled, the sound a soft rumble. “Of course, sneaking, spying, hiding, creeping,” he continued.

“Creeping and crawling?” you teased, the words feeling foreign on your tongue but bringing a flicker of warmth to your chest.

“An unfortunately high amount of crawling, I must admit,” Azriel said, raising one eyebrow slightly, his voice laced with a quiet humor.

For a fleeting moment, a genuine smile broke through your defenses. It was small and hesitant, but Azriel saw it, his eyes lighting up as though your smile were a beacon in the darkness. His gaze lingered, filled with an unspoken tenderness that made your throat tighten.

“Well,” Azriel continued, his tone light, “seeing as I’m behind on my creeping and crawling, I should do a bit of that now.” He gestured towards the staircase, glancing over your shoulder before looking back at you, his smile still holding that quiet warmth. “You can join me upstairs if you like, or you can do whatever you’d like around the house. Or if you want, you can also go out and do something. I just need about a half hour.”

You glanced around the hall, eyes drifting over the array of rooms, each door a portal to unknown corners of Azriel's life. The rooms beckoned, offering themselves up for exploration, but the energy to satisfy your curiosity was nowhere to be found. Instead, you turned your gaze back to him and shrugged slightly, a gesture that felt both apologetic and resigned.

“Just, whatever you want,” Azriel repeated, stepping past you with an easy grace. He took the first two stairs in one bound, his movements fluid and unburdened. “I’ll be up here if you want to join me.” His voice faded as he disappeared up the staircase, his heels just leaving your sight as he reached the next level.

You stood at the base of the stairs, your surroundings both opulent and intimidating. The walls were adorned with Feyre’s paintings, while the rooms themselves—two sitting rooms, a dining room, and several more doorways leading to hidden mysteries—seemed to hum with a quiet elegance.

Before Kai’s death, you would have eagerly explored each room, turning over pillows and opening books, losing yourself in the details of someone else’s life. But now, the weight of your grief anchored you, sapping the strength needed to take even a few steps toward them. The reflection in your mind’s eye was stark: a scrawny, exhausted-looking fae female, her clothes stained, hair in disarray, standing in the elegant home of the Spy Master of the Night Court. You felt painfully out of place, like an intruder in a realm you had no right to enter.

Your heart ached with the realization, and you instinctively turned, ascending the stairs with heavy, reluctant steps. You followed the path Azriel had taken, the second floor stretching out before you.

Reaching the end of the corridor, you stopped in the doorway of the room you had come in through, which you correctly assumed was an office. He was sitting at a wooden desk, legs stretched out under the table, crossed at the ankles. The chair behind him seemed to embrace his large frame as he leaned back, one hand holding a piece of paper while the other lazily brushed his curls back. The room was bathed in soft, diffused light, casting gentle shadows on the dark wood.

Azriel’s attention shifted at the sound of the creak from the doorway. He turned his head, catching sight of you with a smile. You imagined that many others had been captivated by that smile, its warmth reaching out to pull them into his orbit.

“Come on in,” he invited, his voice soothing. You dragged your feet in slightly.

“Take a look at whatever you want,” Azriel said, motioning around the room at the shelves lined with books and papers. His attention returned to the document in his hand, but you had a sneaking suspicion that he was still watching you

The room smelled faintly of old parchment and ink, mixed with the subtle scent of cedarwood. The wooden desk was strewn with maps, letters, and what appeared to be reports. The bookshelves were packed with volumes of various sizes, their spines worn from use. The french doors bathing the room in evening sun.

You turned, letting your fingers drift over the spines of the books, not fully absorbing the titles until one caught your eye: “The History of Illyrian Warfare” in elegant gold ink. You paused, your index finger tracing the spine’s length until you tipped it on its edge, the brown leather sliding out heavily into your hand. Supporting its weight with your entire palm, you flipped open the text and scanned the index. Chapter after chapter outlined Illyrian battle tactics: handling small armies versus large, aerial maneuvers, battle formations, and near the end, a brief history of the Illyrian fae.

Moving toward one of the oversized red armchairs in the corner, you flopped down, knees draped over the armrest as you propped the book on your lap. You flipped through the pages, seeking the history section. As you skimmed the other sections, you noticed ink marks—Azriel’s, perhaps—suggesting revisions or notes, hinting that this book had been consulted over many years. You stopped at a scrawled heading:

**“The History of Illyrian Soldiers”**

Your eyes scanned the pages, searching for any mention of female warriors. You noticed the text only referred to “Illyrians,” never distinguishing between male and female. When you reached the end of the section, you had only learned about the Illyrians' origins from the Daglan and their allegiance to the Night Court. Flipping through the remaining pages, diagrams of armor all depicted male bodies in the same training leathers. Your frustration grew as the pages fell through your fingers, offering no recognition of Illyrian females.

Azriel’s light cough broke your concentration. “Looking for something in particular?” he asked, his tone carefully neutral.

You turned toward him, “Sorry.”

Azriel shook his head slightly, his expression remaining casual. “Just curious what’s got you so interested in Illyrian history.”

“There’s nothing about females in this,” you replied, voice tight. “Or even males, really.”

Azriel placed the document he had been reading back on his desk with a sigh. Swiveling his chair toward you, he leaned his forearms on his thighs, wings arching slightly behind him. “You won’t find anything on Illyrian females in that book,” he said, nodding to the text in your hands.

You glanced down at the book, then back to him. “Why not?”

“Because when that book was written, no one cared about them.”

“So, there were no Illyrian females involved in battles?” you pressed, irritation threading through your voice.

Azriel leaned back, crossing one arm over his chest while his other hand brushed through his curls. “Not at that time. There are some now.”

“The Valkyries?” you clarified.

“Some, yes. Others are Illyrian females trained as warriors.”

You thought of Anthea. “What’s the criteria for an Illyrian female to become a warrior?”

Azriel’s chair swiveled slightly, a hint of nervousness creeping into his demeanor. “It’s the same for males. They have to train and complete the Blood Rite.”

You recalled the Blood Rite, a brutal practice described in the book, pitting boys—and, you now guessed, girls—against one another. “Does every female get to choose to become a warrior?”

Azriel's eyes shifted past you, as if seeking an answer from the wall behind you. “Not all.”

Frustration edged your voice as you pressed, “Just tell me what you’re avoiding.”

Azriel’s eyes widened, caught off guard by the directness. He shrugged defensively. “I’m just answering your questions.”

“You’re answering them without giving details,” you retorted, feeling your patience thin.

Azriel paused, weighing his words before finally letting his gaze drop. “Illyrian history has a lot of dark stories,” he admitted quietly. His head hung slightly, a shadow of shame crossing his features. “One of the darkest is the treatment of Illyrian females.”

Your voice hardened, demanding clarity. “In what way?”

Azriel took a deep breath, his fingers flexing as though he could physically grasp the words he struggled to speak. “Illyrian females... they’ve been oppressed for generations. Denied the choice to become warriors, restricted by tradition. Many were clipped—wings maimed to prevent them from flying, from fighting.”

The words hit you like a cold blast of wind, and your grip tightened on the book’s spine. The thought of such cruelty, of denying someone the very essence of their being, made your stomach churn. “So they’re forced into submission?”  Your heart sank into your chest. All of those scars and holes that Anthea held in her own wings.

Azriel continued, his voice heavy with remorse, “And that practice has continued in many Illyrian families, unfortunately.”

You furrowed your brows, a spark of anger igniting. “This practice is still legal?”

Azriel shook his head quickly, “No! Rhysand banned it long ago. But it still happens.”

“What happens to the families that do it?” you demanded, your voice sharp with disbelief.

Azriel hesitated, then shrugged lightly, his gaze dropping to the floor. “Not much.”

Your eyes widened in shock, shaking your head as if to clear some misunderstanding. “There’s no punishment?” You repeated, your tone edged with desperation.

Azriel looked up at you, his face a mask of guilt. “There’s not much we can do. In many camps, females remain unclipped, but in groups with older, more traditional males, it can still happen. And those males often hold positions of power. If we punish them, it could lead to retaliation and civil war.”

Your glare intensified, disbelief turning to fury. “So you just let it happen?”

“Y/N,” Azriel began, his own brow furrowing as he leaned in, “It’s not that simple.”

“Why should I care what males decide to do among themselves?” you retorted, your voice rising. “They clearly can’t make rational decisions about the basic rights of their female counterparts.” Your head shook again, more vehemently this time. “So you care more about protecting the males than the females?”

Azriel’s eyes hardened as he leaned closer, his voice tinged with sadness. “That couldn’t be farther from the truth.”

“But you seem willing to sacrifice females to keep the males from going to war. And who will die in that war? Males.” Your voice dripped with bitter irony.

“This is for the good of the Night Court,” Azriel clarified, his tone strained. “We are trying—”

“Everyone is always ‘trying,’” you interrupted, quoting the word with venom. “But no one ever seems to actually do anything.” Your face flushed with anger. “Why is it that everywhere I turn, males are making the lives of females a living hell?” You shook your head, biting your lip to contain the rage. “I just want one place,” you said, your voice breaking, “just one, where things feel fair for us.”

Azriel’s gaze dropped, his voice almost a whisper. “When I was in Frostvale, I was going to meet with one of the generals about altering traditions regarding clippings.”

“You think stopping the clipping would stop the suffering?” you spat, glaring at him. “There’s so much happening in those places that hurts females beyond wing clipping.”

Azriel looked up at you, his face hollow with guilt. “I’m so sorry about what happened with Anthea.”

You turned away, shaking your head, trying to dismiss his words.

“When I brought you back here the first time,” Azriel continued softly, “all I wanted was to get you safe. To know you would be okay. But by the time I got back to the cabin, you were already deep in the woods.” He shook his head lightly, a haunted look in his eyes. “I tried to track your scent, but when I caught Anthea’s and that male’s, I lost the trail. I sent my shadows ahead, but by the time I got to you, he was already on top of her. I just—” his voice cracked, “I just needed to get you out of there. And if I could have gotten there sooner, I would have gotten her out too.”

“You could have gotten her out long before then,” you accused, your voice cold and biting.

“I know.” Azriel’s response was barely audible, his guilt palpable. “You have to believe me when I say I wish I did.”

You scoffed, the sound bitter and sharp. Azriel leaned closer, his hand tentatively resting on the armrest beside you. “Y/N,” he started, his voice filled with sorrow, “I wish every day that I had done something sooner. I wish every male before me had done something sooner. I know we should be so much farther along. I know the way things are now is flawed and horrible and deserving of punishment.” His eyes searched your face for any sign of forgiveness. “But you have to believe me when I say I want to make it better. I’m trying to make it better. If I could burn it all down and know the Night Court would be fine, I would. But if we overthrow the Illyrians, we won’t win. The progress has to be slow. We have to change families from the inside out. I swear to you, I think about them every day and every night. I think of Anthea every single day and what I should have done differently.”

You shook your head, disbelief and anger swirling within you.

Azriel's tone grew more earnest, each word weighed and calculated. “I don’t want you to be afraid of the world, Y/N. I know it seems cruel and relentless right now, and I know you’ve been through hell. Horrible, unimaginable things have happened to you, and it’s left deep scars. But those things were not your fault. You didn’t deserve any of it—not what Caelum did, and not what happened to Kai. None of it.”

He squeezed your knee gently as your tears spilled over. “You have every right to be angry. You have every right to grieve, to rage against the injustice and the pain, to curse the Mother and every cruel twist of fate. I want you to let yourself feel that. You deserve to express every ounce of your pain and anger.”

Your body shuddered with sobs.

“But I also want you to know,” Azriel continued, moving to kneel in front of you, “that the world can be safe again. That not everyone or everything in it is out to hurt you. You don’t have to be afraid forever. What happened to you was wrong, and it’s okay to feel like the world is dark right now. But I promise, the world can also be a place where you find safety, where you reclaim your strength.”

He whispered, “I promise you, the world can feel safe.”

His words wrapped around you. You wanted to hold onto the hope he offered, but the walls around your soul were steel and thick. But for a brief moment, you thought you saw a faint crack.

As your sobs began to subside, Azriel rose, his movements careful and deliberate. He disappeared briefly downstairs, returning with both your jackets. He helped you slide into yours, his hands lingering on your shoulders.

“Let’s get you home,” he said softly, guiding you out of the room. He cradled you in his arms, his wings stretching wide as he launched into the sky. The wind whipped around you, but in his embrace, you only tucked yourself into his chest, eyes shut.

The House of Wind loomed closer, its stone façade illuminated by the moonlight. Azriel landed gracefully on the balcony and set you gently on your feet. He walked with you into your room, just a footstep behind as he trailed you.

As you settled into bed, Azriel merely walked to the doorway of your room claiming a need to speak with Cassian about something before opening the door. “You know,” Azriel called over his shoulder, “I always keep my promises.” And with that and a slight smile, he slipped through the door as you held on to his words, turning them over in your mind as your reddened eyes closed and sleep loomed closer.

To my readers, I love you:

@thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 26

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.5K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

When you turned to investigate your surroundings, you found yourself standing on a patio. The balcony walls held planter boxes on each railing, overlooking the city. On the wall, sprawling up past the two large glass French doors, was winter ivy that you presumed had been growing for hundreds of years to reach its current height. The planter boxes had not yet been tended to for the oncoming spring, but based on the care taken to preserve the boxes and the soil inside, whoever would plant in them seemed to care for their garden quite a bit.

Azriel took a few steps in front of you, laying his palms on the door handles before turning over his shoulder to you. “Coming?” he asked.

You nodded as he swung the doors open. A blast of warm air shot out from the room, and you stepped into what looked to be a large office. With its dark oak desk nestled against the wall, stacks of books littered the floor around two oversized armchairs. At least, that’s what you presumed the purpose of the room was. Azriel walked through the room without much thought as you followed behind, your eyes stopping on books with titles like *The Archaic Guide to Fae Languages* and *A Complete Atlas of Prythian and the Charted World*. The walls of the office were filled with large bookshelves, overflowing with papers and old texts. Azriel opened the door of the office, leading out into a hallway filled with paintings you recognized as Feyre’s, lining the dark green paint of the wall. You followed Azriel down the hall.

“This is the townhouse,” he announced.

“Feyre and Rhysand's city home?” you clarified.

“Technically, yes, but they gifted it to me when Nesta and Cassian mated.” Azriel turned around the corner, his hand passing over the wall as he did, seemingly a habit.

“Oh,” you said. “I thought you just lived at the House of Wind.”

“I used to. But I felt like I was intruding on their time together.”

Azriel continued down the second hallway, which led to a grand staircase spiraling down into what looked to be the main hallway of the home.

He took the stairs in a rush, his feet fast and sure as you ran your hand down the railing, descending into the grand foyer. The black-and-white tiles lined the floor, and the entryway door was adorned with stained glass flowers. Their blues and purples easily identified the Night Court florals in the scene.

Azriel’s heels clicked down onto the tile floor as he walked to the front door, opening it slightly before turning back to look at you descending the stairs. He smiled lightly.

“Ready?”

You nodded slightly as you joined him in the entryway.

“Remember, just say the word and we leave.”

You nodded again, feeling your stomach tighten as the door widened into one of the wealthier streets of Velaris. Azriel stepped out, holding the door open for you to follow.

The street was quiet for the most part, save for the odd fae or couple who strolled leisurely down the sidewalk. You noticed the wrought iron short fencing on most of the front lawns, and more importantly, you took in the front lawns of the houses. That feature seemed wholly foreign to you in this place. You had no memories of any buildings having attached greenery to their houses, other than those in the parks.

Azriel shut the door behind you, joining you at the top of the white marble stairs leading down to the walkway. “Ready?” he asked again.

You nodded, and he descended the stairs quickly as you followed slowly behind him.

You walked down the street next to one another, your arms only barely grazing each other's as you walked. You said nothing, and Azriel seemed fine with the silence. You merely followed Azriel down the street of the great townhouse manors and around the corners to a few more streets of them. You felt foolish for thinking that the townhouse of the High Lord would be anything less than the most spectacular, grandiose home possible. Yet, you had it in your mind that Rhysand and Azriel chose to spend their time in smaller apartments like the rest of the citizens. How silly you were.

The homes slowly grew smaller, then into split-level homes, then into apartments. The gardens in front grew less grand and then ceased to exist. The closer you got into the city heart, the more citizens you began seeing.

Watching the citizens part for Azriel, some wishing him well and saying hello while others seemed to bow their heads, piqued your interest. It seemed as though everyone was more than willing to part their path to let the Shadowsinger through, as a few whispered. Most seemed to have a deep admiration and respect, but you wondered if any of it was tinged with fear. Fear at his wings and what they stood for, or recognition of his relation to other Illyrians. Perhaps, however, these people believed the Illyrians to be some sort of savior. The army was their main source of protection, after all, and once you pieced together the war with Hybern, you knew they were instrumental in Prythian not falling into the wrong hands. But at the same time, you weren’t the only one who had experienced the malice of the soldiers. Right?

Azriel continued down the street as the faint scent of food—particularly pastries and warm meats—wafted through the crisp winter air. As you turned another corner, you recognized the main town square of food vendors, and your mouth began to water instinctively. The butchery windows displayed large, glistening sausages, their savory aroma mingling with the air. You passed by bakeries showcasing delicate cakes, their frosting artfully swirled and tempting, adding to the rich, sugary scent that lingered around them.

It wasn’t until you passed a candy shop that you realized how hungry you truly were. The sweet scents of sugar and caramel wafted out the door, causing you to pause and inhale deeply, the familiar aroma evoking memories of simpler times. You closed your eyes, transported back to childhood, standing on tiptoes to peer through a large glass window. You could almost see the candy makers tossing long ropes of taffy onto a hook, chopping the hardened pieces into small meltaway treats. The memory blurred, uncertain if it was your mother or Titania beside you, pointing at the candies and dreaming of which ones you might choose. This uncertainty tainted the nostalgia, leaving a heaviness in your heart as you opened your eyes again.

Azriel had stopped, now standing nearly touching you, his concern evident as he looked down. “You okay?” he asked softly.

You nodded, not trusting your voice.

“Just a few shops down, there’s a cafe I wanted to take you to for lunch.” He pointed down the street, your gaze lingering on the candy shop’s window. “But if you aren’t feeling up for it, we can head back,” he offered. “Or we could get something from here if you like?”

You shook your head, the memory of standing at the window enough. You had never actually gone inside to buy the candies, just dreamed about them from a distance. Perhaps you feared that reality might tarnish the sweetness of the memory. “It’s okay,” you said quietly. “We can keep going.”

Azriel placed a comforting hand on your shoulder, his thumb tracing soothing lines down your shoulder blade. His touch broke the spell of your recollection, and you looked up to meet his eyes. He smiled at you, “You’re doing great.”

You tried to return the smile, but it felt forced and weak.

Azriel turned and continued down the sidewalk, and you followed, the savory and sweet aromas still lingering in the air. Eventually, you arrived at a small cafe. The exterior, with its blue awning and small tables lining the sidewalk, promised a cozy atmosphere in the summer, but today it was deserted. Azriel led you through the doors into the cafe, where a warm rush of air welcomed you, banishing the chill from your bones.

Inside, the cafe was larger than it appeared from the outside, with a full bar offering an array of cocktails. The floor was a mosaic of black and white tiles that matched the black wrought-iron tables with their white marble tops. Strings of faelight illuminated the dining area, casting a warm, golden glow that invited you in. Azriel surveyed the room, spotting an open table in a quiet corner, and beckoned you to follow.

He reached the table and pulled out a chair for you, waiting as you awkwardly shrugged off your coat, suddenly conscious of your stained dress and unkempt hair. As you sat, Azriel gently pushed your chair in before settling into his own seat across from you. The wrought-iron chairs easily accommodated his wings, which spread behind him like a protective shield. A waitress appeared swiftly, smiling warmly at Azriel, who returned the gesture as she handed you both menus.

You laid your menu flat on the table, eyes scanning the options: breakfast foods, hearty sandwiches, delectable pastries, soups, and salads. Azriel glanced at his menu briefly before setting it down with a satisfied nod. “I always get the same thing,” he said with a knowing grin.

You nodded absently, still deciding what might sit best in your uneasy stomach. Azriel looked over his shoulder at the window, watching pedestrians pass by. Some peered in, their eyes widening as they recognized the Illyrian who now sat casually, tea in hand, his leg draped over the other.

Eventually, you settled on a cream of potato soup, hoping its warmth would ease both your hunger and your nerves. Azriel ordered a sandwich, but your heart pounded so loudly in your ears that you couldn’t catch the details. You took deep, steadying breaths, willing yourself to hold it together in the cafe’s comforting ambiance.

The waitress returned to collect the menus, and Azriel handed his over with a smile. As he turned back to you, concern etched itself into his features. He leaned across the table, one hand covering yours, which were clenched tightly together. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, his voice gentle.

You gulped and nodded, trying to reassure him.

“Just say the word,” he reminded you, his gaze unwavering.

You shook your head, your fingers loosening slightly.

“What’s on your mind?” he asked, his arms crossed casually, his voice a mix of curiosity and concern.

You glanced up at him from under your lashes, licking your dry, cracked lips before shrugging your shoulders.

“There’s something,” he persisted, leaning in, his forearms braced on the table. “Your eyes are more expressive than you might think.”

You looked down at your hands, now resting in your lap, suddenly anxious about what Azriel might discern from your gaze.

“I’d pay a lot to know what’s going on up there.” Azriel motioned to your head with a slight tilt.

You chuckled softly, “I don’t think you’d like what you’d find.”

“Maybe not,” he admitted with a warm smile. “But I’d still love to know.”

His face was soft, his eyes inviting, almost pleading for a glimpse into your thoughts.

You shook your head lightly. “There’s a lot of darkness in there,” you murmured.

Azriel opened his hands, palms up, before closing them gently. “I’ve always thrived in darkness.”

“Yes, you and your shadows,” you replied flatly.

“So you’ve heard about them,” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve overheard things,” you admitted.

Azriel nodded. “You’re perceptive.”

You shrugged again.

“Do you want to know more about them?” Azriel asked, his tone inviting.

You considered for a moment, curiosity battling with weariness. “How do they work?” you asked finally.

Azriel glanced upwards, searching for the right words. “They’re like crows,” he began. “They gather information, bringing it back to me. Sometimes they help me stay hidden.”

“Do you control them?” you asked.

Azriel flicked his fingers, and two dark shadows materialized on the table, their form shifting as they scurried towards you, weaving through your fingers. Their cool touch sent a shiver down your spine, and a reluctant smile curved your lips.

“I can encourage them,” Azriel explained, watching as the shadows danced across the table and slipped back to his side. “But they have minds of their own.”

“Is it always the same ones?” you asked, watching the shadows disappear into the corners of the cafe.

“It’s usually a core group of twelve. Some come and go, but those twelve have been with me since I was a child.”

You nodded thoughtfully. “Can all shadows do that?”

Azriel looked around, observing the other shadows in the room. “No. They might look like shadows, but they’re different creatures. They resemble shadows and live in them, but they’re unique.”

You recalled moments in the woods when shadows seemed to move oddly, almost sentient. “Did you ever—” you began, but the waitress returned, setting your food down. Azriel thanked her quietly, motioning for you to eat.

You lifted your spoon, dipping it into the creamy soup. The first taste enveloped your tongue with warmth, soothing you like sinking into a cozy bed after a day in the snow. You continued to eat, savoring each spoonful, while Azriel watched with a soft smile, taking tentative bites of his sandwich.

When you finished, nearly licking the bowl clean, you set the spoon down with a clink. Your stomach, now filled with comforting warmth, left you momentarily content. But guilt soon crept in, a reminder that while you enjoyed this meal, Kai was gone. The joy turned sour, your stomach churning with the weight of your loss. You pushed the bowl away, contemplating whether the guilt would make you sick. Azriel, sensing the shift, reached across the table to cover your hand. “I’m really glad to see you eating,” he said softly.

You tried to smile back at him, the gesture tight and unconvincing. But Azriel’s eyes held understanding, seeing through the facade to the turmoil beneath.

Azriel seemed to finish eating only moments before you did, and he promptly signaled the waitress over. She collected the dishes and, with a bright smile, insisted that Azriel not pay for the meal. A playful argument ensued between them, Azriel’s lips quirking into a bemused smile as he raised his hands in mock defeat. The waitress walked away, still smiling, but as soon as her back was turned, Azriel stood up and discreetly left more than enough coins on the table. 

He turned to you, his eyes softening with a gentle warmth, and helped you into your jacket. His touch was tender as he carefully pulled your hair out from the collar, his scarred fingers grazing the soft skin of your neck. His touch lingered there, light and reassuring, sending a faint shiver through you.

Once you were settled, he motioned towards the door, his voice a soothing balm against the winter’s chill. “I think that’s enough for one day,” he said softly. “Let’s head home.”

To my readers, thank you for all your support. More to come soon. @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 25

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.2 K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

The House of Wind was shrouded in a somber silence, its grand halls echoing with an emptiness that seemed to seep into every corner, infected by your grief. The once vibrant atmosphere, which you used to imagine was filled with the laughter and life of the family, had dimmed into a hushed stillness.

In a secluded corner, you sat on the balcony of your bedroom, the double doors slightly ajar to let in the cool evening air. The world outside was a muted palette of grays and blues, the winter sky overcast and heavy with an impending storm.

Your eyes were fixed on the distant mountains, vacant and unseeing. Your dress hung loose and wrinkled, the soft fabric draped listlessly over your frame. Your hair, unkempt and tangled, moved gently in the breeze. Your hands lay limply in your lap, fingers cold and still.

The room behind you was dim, heavy curtains drawn tight, casting deep shadows across the polished wood and rich tapestries. The bedside faelight lamp cast a dim glow that barely reached the balcony, where you had taken refuge from the suffocating silence within.

Nesta stood in the doorway to the balcony, her wool shawl pulled tightly around her shoulders, her face a mask of concern and frustration. She had watched your descent into despondency with a growing sense of helplessness, her heart aching for you. She took a deep breath and stepped onto the balcony, her heels clicking lightly on the marble floor. “Y/N?” she called gently, her voice a mix of hope and trepidation. “It’s me, Nesta. Can we talk?”

There was no response. You didn’t move, your gaze still fixed on the horizon. The gentle rustling of the distant wind and the calls of birds were the only sounds on the air.

Nesta approached slowly, her movements careful and deliberate. Reaching the corner of the balcony, she knelt beside you, searching for any sign of recognition. “Y/N, please,” she said softly, her voice breaking slightly. “Say something. Anything.”

Your eyes flickered briefly, a faint shadow of emotion passing over your face, but you remained silent. Your gaze was empty, your expression blank and unreadable. The pain in your eyes was a mirror to the anguish that had taken root deep within you.

Nesta tried again, her voice trembling slightly. “I know you’re hurting, Y/N. I know it feels like the world has ended. But you have to come back to us.”

Still, you did not respond. You were a statue with vacant eyes. Nesta’s frustration bubbled up, mingling with sorrow. She gently took your cold fingers in hers, squeezing them lightly. “Please,” she whispered, her grip tightening. “It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known this would happen.”

Your expression changed slightly, a flicker of something dark crossing your face. Your lips parted, and a faint, bitter laugh escaped you. “Not my fault?” you murmured, voice hoarse and raw. You turned your head to look at Nesta, your eyes flashing with sudden anger. “Of course it’s my fault. I brought him into this. I shouldn’t have tried to run. I should have gone with him. I was a fool to think I could get away.”

Nesta’s eyes widened, taken aback by your response. “Y/N, you did escape.”

Your expression twisted in anguish, your voice rising. “I should have known better than to involve anyone else in this. I put him in danger because I was too scared to just face what I had to. If I’d—” you stammered, searching the horizon, “If I had just gone with Caelum, Kai might still be alive.”

The outburst left the room ringing with a silence heavier than before. Your chest heaved with the force of your emotions, your hands clenching and unclenching in your lap, but you didn’t cry. It was as though you had no more tears left to give.

Nesta’s hand hovered near your arm. “You did the best you could in an impossible situation,” she said softly, her voice trembling. “Kai knew the risks, and he made his choice to protect you. You can’t carry this burden alone.”

“I failed.” Your voice cracked. “I couldn’t keep him out of my head. He wouldn’t have found me if I’d been strong enough to keep him out. And now Kai’s gone because of me.” You stared at Nesta, “I ripped a family apart, stole someone’s child, because I made my problem someone else’s.”

“Y/N, please,” Nesta whispered, “You didn’t fail him. You cared so deeply for him. And he for you. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

The rain started to come down in soft patters, echoing off the marble of the balcony. There was nothing anyone could say to take the weight of the crushing guilt and sorrow you held, so Nesta just sat in a silent vigil, hoping the rain would help cleanse you of your desperation.

---

Days passed with little change. You no longer cried; the well of tears had finally run dry. Instead, you moved with a detached, emotionless grace, as if a vital part of you had been irreparably severed.

Your appearance had become a true reflection of your internal desolation. Your hair, unkempt in tangles, clothing hung looser, wrinkled and carelessly thrown on. You couldn’t care about the trivialities of your existence. Your once vibrant eyes, now dull, were shadowed by dark circles as sleep only came out of necessity.

Nesta continued to try and pull you from your abyss, but every attempt had been met with the same unseeing gaze and mechanical responses. Frustration and sorrow warred within her, a silent battle she fought each day as she watched you drift further away. The old you would have tried to reassure her she was doing enough, that she was helping, but now you just hoped that you would become enough of a burden for them to throw you out to die in the woods.

Elain, ever gentle and nurturing, tried to reach you through small acts of kindness. She would leave flowers by your bedside, brought from varying courts, their colors vibrant in contrast to your graying pallor. She brought tea and warm blankets, her soft voice offering words of comfort and hope. But your hands, cold and listless, never reached for the cup, and Elain continued to replace it day after day.

Azriel’s heart broke for you. He watched over you with a constant, aching sorrow, his eyes always filled with a deep, unspoken pain, his wings seeming to hang behind him more dull and lifeless. He would follow you through the halls, sticking to his shadows, which you learned through overhearing were some strange power he possessed, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care enough to ask more. He watched after you, always there, but never truly able to reach you.

In the evenings, when the sky outside turned a deep, mournful gray, and the first stars would appear, you would find yourself on the balcony, staring out at the world beyond the marble railing. The wind would tug at your hair and dress, its chill a distant sensation you barely registered. The vibrant colors of the city below faded out of view as the sun set.

You remained distant, as days turned into weeks, your spirit lost in a fog of grief. You no longer cried, no longer raged or lamented. Instead, you merely moved through the world like a ghost, your emotions locked away in a place no one could reach.

—---

You lay on the lounger outside on the balcony, the chill of late winter seeping into your bones. You would have felt it, had you cared enough. 

“Hey,” Azriel said again, calling out as though you might not have heard him.

You gazed over your shoulder, your eyes barely casting over the crest of your brow, sunken and purple. His face softened slightly, not expecting you to regard him at all. He smiled as he pulled at his jacket, coming over to you and kneeling, his hands gently resting on the armrests of the chair.

“Hey,” he smiled again, bouncing back on his heels.

“Hi,” you said back with a meek lilt.

Azriel leaned his head onto the back of his hands, peering up at you. “Did you hear me?” he asked, shaking the black curls from his face.

You nodded, your chin barely moving.

“So?” he asked. “Thoughts?”

You shrugged slightly. You had no intention of ever leaving this chair, this prison you had built for yourself. Brick by brick, heartbreak and failure after heartbreak and failure. This was the world that seemed fitting to waste away in, as you had wasted everyone else. To never enjoy the feeling of the sun, the comfort of others, the will to participate in a world that gave you any sense of purpose or meaning. For you to suffer a miserable, lonely demise as was fitting for the suffering of others. So you shrugged your shoulders, willing to go with him to give him a sense of fleeting happiness in his long life or to have him leave you here forever, with the hope that without enough sleep or sitting in the cold, you might finally be willing to part with yourself.

Azriel seemed to understand your meaning, smiling gently and pleading with you for a way to pull you out. He reached his hand down for yours, wrapping your ice-cold fingers with his warm hands. “I think it could be good for you,” he said softly, bouncing slightly on his heels.

You blinked slowly, trying to absorb his words, which came out as if spoken in slow motion. Azriel merely looked at you as you paused, long and drawn out. He ran his hand over the back of his chilled red nose, sniffled for a second, and then rose, your hand still in his though your arm was limp in his grasp.

“We have to try something,” he said. You had no plans of getting better.

He pulled you slightly, and your legs slipped over the side of the lounger with almost no thought. You stood, the cold deeply sinking into your feet. Your steps were wary, as you hadn’t put any thought into moving them in days, and you felt as weak as the female you were before you left your mate in the first place.

Azriel wrapped a stabilizing arm around your waist, holding you close, his body braced against yours. You felt his nose graze the crown of your head as if he were nuzzling you, though you knew it was just from that slight sniffle.

“We need to get your face washed,” he whispered, his nose finding your hair again.

You didn’t respond as you stood in front of the bathroom door. Azriel let you stand on your own as he walked in and turned on the faucet. He stared back at you, your eyes widening slightly.

Azriel reached a tentative hand out to you, summoning you with a gentle flick of his fingers. You gulped back the fear in your soul and took a step forward, your hand gliding into Azriel’s.

He gripped it tightly, pulling you closer. “That’s it,” he encouraged.

Your eyes still wide, he reached behind himself, grabbing a facial rag. He dropped your hand as he ran it under the water of the sink, turning back to you immediately as he wrung it out.

“I’m not going to hurt you,” he whispered as your eyes continued to widen. He leaned his hands in slowly, one scarred palm finding its way to your cheek, while the other ran long lines with the rag down your face. He didn’t look into your eyes, instead focusing only on the places he wiped the dirt away, as if worried that leaving any speck would mar what was underneath. You watched his methodical eyes, your own weak, tired gaze following his every move. Finally, he ran the last swipe down your face and caught you looking at him. He smiled. “Hi,” he whispered, smiling back at you, seeming so happy that you were looking at him at all.

Your gaze widened at him slightly, and you quickly looked down and away. Azriel’s smile flattened slightly as your own face fell.

“This is a great start,” Azriel noted. “Are you sure you’re feeling up for going out?” he asked again.

You shrugged once more.

“Y/N,” Azriel said. You didn’t respond. “Y/N, if you don’t want to do anything, you don’t have to,” he said. He momentarily reached his hand out to comfort you but seemed to pull back slightly as you watched his hand cross the threshold in front of you.

You merely shrugged your shoulders again. Azriel seemed unsure of how to approach the situation and scanned your face as if trying to see through your nonchalance. When he found no other answers, he just sighed slightly, setting the wet rag back onto the counter.

“We should get you a coat,” he said. As though he had summoned it from thin air, a woolen gray coat appeared. He looked it over in his hands and then handed it out to you. At first, you just stared at it lying in his palms before taking it and sliding it onto your shoulders.

Azriel gave you another slight smile, his hand reaching out for yours.

“Come on,” he said, brushing past you and out to the balcony. You walked slowly behind him, not bothering to button the coat. Azriel went to the edge and peered over his shoulder back at you. You joined him, the crown of your head barely coming up to his shoulder.

You looked down onto Velaris. Winter had seemed to give up its hold, just for a bit. Some citizens below even walked around the streets in just sweaters, and it appeared some brave gardeners were starting their soil preparations. You reached your hand out for Azriel to winnow, but he gently pushed it back.

“If you’re comfortable,” he began, “I was thinking we could fly instead.”

Your brow furrowed in confusion. “Do what?”

Azriel flexed his wings slightly behind him, turning to look at you. “Well, only if you’re comfortable doing that.”

You tilted your head slightly. “I think I don’t understand what you mean.”

Azriel glanced over his shoulder, as though you might have missed the gigantic wings that shrouded him. “I mean fly.”

You peered around the balcony slightly.

“What?” Azriel asked.

“Is there, like, a saddle?”

Azriel’s eyes widened slightly. “A what?”

Your eyes stopped back on his, suddenly embarrassed by the question. Slightly quieter, you asked, “A saddle?”

“Why would—” Azriel stammered. “No, no, I’m just going to carry you.”

“Ohh.”

“Unless you aren’t okay with that? I just figured since winnowing gave you a headache and we don’t have anywhere in particular to be, this would be easier.”

You peered slightly over the edge of the balcony, down the steep drop of the mountainside cliff house into Velaris, where the fae were barely visible. You turned back to him, your mouth dropping from the sheer distance to the ground.

Azriel seemed to understand your hesitancy as your eyes widened at him. “I promise, I wouldn’t let you fall.”

“I would hope not,” you responded.

“I’ve done this with others before; there’s no reason to be afraid.”

You scoffed, “All of those people are still alive?”

Azriel took a second, looking up at the sky for the answer. When he didn’t immediately respond, you almost shouted, “You shouldn’t have to think about that!”

Azriel’s face flashed back to yours, “No! Everyone is still alive,” he reassured you.

You merely peered back over the edge of the balcony.

“Look,” Azriel called, and you shot your gaze back to him, “The second you don’t feel comfortable, we come right back here,” he promised. “And that means for both flying and being down in the streets.”

You gulped the fear back down and looked back at him. His hazel eyes seemed so much lighter now than they were a few days ago. He extended his hands to you, outstretched, and seemed to send a silent plea for you to take a few steps towards him. Without seeming conscious of it, you suddenly stood in front of him as he smiled down at you. He leaned down, and you placed a tentative hand on his shoulder as he swept your legs up at the knee into a hold, his hands supporting your shoulders. A light yelp escaped your lips as he lifted you, and your startled response made him chuckle deep in his chest—a warm, encouraging chuckle.

“Just say the word,” he said, and you nodded, wrapping your other arm around his neck. Without another word, Azriel’s great wings took a few warm-up flaps before his feet left the ground with a bit of a hop. You tightened into his chest, his warmth seeping through his own jacket as your heart leapt into your throat. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “We’re safe.”

You opened one eye slightly to gaze out. You hadn’t even flown to the edge of the balcony as Azriel hovered over

 the floor. You looked up to meet his gaze, and he smiled at your apparent nerves. “Remember,” he started, “Say the word, and we come back.”

You licked your lips slightly, trying to gauge if you went over that railing if you would ever be able to slow down your heart rate, but when you turned back to Azriel, you just nodded.

Azriel leaned slightly forward, allowing his wings to take some greater flaps, and then you were off over the railing. As you took in the steep drop, you shrieked lightly, the world suddenly seeming dizzy as Azriel pulled you tighter to himself. “It’s okay,” he said as he leaned forward, descending the mountain in a long glide. You found the bravery to unclench your eyes and saw the sunset over the sea, the clouds parting to let an array of oranges and reds burn across the sky. Your heart stopped in your throat, not in fear, but in awe of the beauty you beheld.

Azriel glided down, barely moving his wings at all, as you seemed to make a slow descent into the city. His arms barely flexed under your weight as he cradled you with such delicacy. The cool wind flew through your hair, and you were suddenly very glad Azriel had found you a coat. You took in the tops of the city buildings as you neared, the church bell tower steeple adorned with a small moon at the top, something you would never have seen from this angle. You wondered who else in Velaris might have the power of flight, other than Illyrian soldiers.

You turned back to Azriel, trying to watch the House of Wind getting smaller behind you, but realized that Azriel was staring at your face, smiling slightly. You then realized that your own mouth was open in awe, a smile leaking from the corners. The muscles ached after not being in use, and you quickly wiped the evidence of it from your face. Azriel just continued to smile down at you, as if seeing your smile again was a gift.

The flight was over seemingly before it started, and you could hear the ambient voices of citizens echoing as Azriel righted himself and took a tentative step down onto a metal rooftop, setting you down on your feet. When you brushed yourself off and looked back at him, he was still only looking at you and smiling.

To my readers, I am on vacation this week but am still trying to get some writing done. Just be aware in case parts are late, they are coming!

@thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreamsoydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterrara @skylarkalchemistmist @rhysandorian @loglady1990dy00 @darling006

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 24

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 1.9K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

When the world blurred back together again, your head throbbed to the point of unbearable pain. As soon as you landed in the house, you immediately fell to your knees, your eyes clenched shut as you pressed your head to your chest and legs. Azriel tried to steady you as you went down but seemed not to realize how intensely you were hurting. As you fell, you heard him whisper, “Whoa, whoa, whoa.” While he couldn’t right your fall, he helped you avoid slamming into the floor.

You sat there, crumpled into a ball, trying to block out the shooting pain. Azriel thudded into the bathroom, seemingly frantically searching for something. You heard him bang around, opening cabinets and swearing softly. Then you heard him hurry back across the room to you. You felt a cold compress fall onto the back of your neck, and suddenly all the light in the room dimmed. When you opened your eyes, though, you realized that it wasn’t darkness; a dark gray mist hovered in front of your eyes. You tried to wave it away, momentarily fearing it, but Azriel pulled your hands back down as he settled onto the floor next to you, holding the wet, cooling rag to your neck. “Let it be,” he whispered.

You tried to respond, but the idea of forming words seemed to cause an even larger headache, so you lay on the floor, curled into a ball instead. Azriel sat in complete silence, just watching you as you winced against the pain that was slowly lessening. He removed the compress from your neck and moved his hand down to rub steadying circles on your back. “You need to sleep,” Azriel whispered, his hand still running up and down the length of your spine. You whimpered slightly, trying to muster words that got caught behind the roaring inferno in your head. “I can give you something to help,” he offered. All you could do was whimper and nod in agreement. “Okay, I’ll be right back, I promise.” The heavy weight of his hand left your back and immediately the pain rose again. You hissed through your teeth as you heard him almost run from the room, returning only seconds later.

He leaned down to you, pressing his hand under your head to softly push it upwards, then pressed a cup to your lips and instructed you to drink. The concoction tasted awful, sour and rancid, and you almost gagged as he continued to tip back the mug. “Good girl,” he whispered. “You have to finish it.” He praised you again before he set down the cup, and you nearly spit onto the floor. “Here, open,” he said, and you dropped your jaw. Azriel placed a single raspberry melt candy on your tongue. “That will help with the taste,” he said. You rested your head against the floor again, sucking greedily on the candy. “Let’s get you into bed before you pass out,” Azriel said, more to himself than to you. You already felt the sweet haze of sleep hovering over your eyes. 

Azriel knelt next to you, sliding his hands under your knees and shoulders, and hoisted you up, your face resting on his hard chest. You could hear his heartbeat, and as though you were drunk, you leaned into it, pressing one hand to his chest. Azriel took a few steps to the bed and laid you down on the turned-down sheets. You rested your head on the soft silk and let out a slight murmur. Azriel pulled the blankets up to your chin, and you swore you felt his fingers trail down the side of your cheek, brushing your hair back, but you were too exhausted to know for sure. The darkness swooped in, and for a while, you felt nothing at all.

—-

When you opened your eyes again, it was clear that time had shifted. The sun hung lower in the sky, casting elongated shadows across the floor. The odd mist that had blurred your vision was gone, leaving only a dull ache at the back of your scalp, but it was much less intense than before. You lifted your neck slightly, propping yourself up on your elbows, and peered around the room. The shifting light caused you to wince as you tried to adjust.

You murmured in pain, taking in the familiar surroundings. Your old room in the House of Wind, with its deep blue accents and rich dark wood, welcomed you back. The scent of the room—clean linen with a hint of lavender—brought a sense of comfort. You flexed your fingers against the soft blankets, trying to breathe in a sense of clarity.

Your gaze drifted over to Azriel, who was lounging in the corner of the room, nestled in an oversized armchair, his head resting against the cushioned back, deep in sleep. His features, normally intense and alert, had softened. His eyes, usually sharp and steely, were closed, framed by long, dark lashes that brushed his tanned cheeks. His high cheekbones and strong jawline seemed more delicate in the muted light, a sharp contrast to the fierce warrior you had seen earlier.

For the first time since you met him in the inn, he appeared to wear simpler clothes—a pair of loose, black trousers and a snug, long-sleeved black shirt that clung to his frame. His black curls, typically tousled, now lay in soft waves, falling slightly over his forehead. 

His wings, magnificent and powerful, were folded neatly behind him, blending into the room's shadows. Even at rest, they seemed to hum with latent power. His hands, scarred and marred, now lay relaxed on the armrests of the chair. His breathing was slow and steady.

Despite his peaceful appearance, there was a certain tension in his form, a readiness to spring into action if needed. Even in his sleep, his protective instincts seemed to be on high alert. 

As you watched him, a wave of deep admiration washed over you. Azriel, always poised, always ready, even in this rare moment of rest. The way his body, honed for battle, could settle into such a tranquil state was almost a paradox. He was a figure of contrast—fierce and gentle, dark and light, warrior and protector. 

The room seemed to hold its breath, the quiet interrupted only by the soft rustle of curtains and the occasional creak of the old wooden floor. You continued to observe Azriel, taking in the serene strength he exuded. His presence filled the space, making it feel safe and warm, a sanctuary amidst the chaos of the world outside.

You lay your head back on the pillow, a sigh escaping as your ribs ached. As your memories flooded back, the image of Kai’s bloodied body, the sound of the knife being ripped from his back, jolted through your mind like a lightning strike. You bolted upright, ignoring the sharp, stabbing pain that shot through your body. I have to get to him, you thought. The urgency surged within you. 

You were back in Velaris. Kai would be in a healer’s hospital.

Flinging the blankets aside, you stumbled to your feet. The cold of the floor shot through your bare feet, and your knees buckled under the weight of panic and pain. Your breath came in ragged pants, each inhalation a desperate attempt to stay upright. 

Azriel stirred in the chair, his voice a soft murmur, “Y/N?”

But you couldn’t stop. You wouldn’t stop. Your body moved on instinct, a frenzy of desperation driving you as you ran from the room. The door slammed against the wall, and you burst into the dim, silent corridor. The air felt thick, almost suffocating as you sprinted through the hall, your heart pounding against your ribs like a war drum.

“Y/N, wait!” Azriel’s voice chased you, but you barely registered it. Kai’s face, bloodied and pale, flashed before your eyes.

Tears blurred your vision as you stumbled around a corner, your hand catching on the wall for support. He can’t be dead. He can’t be. The thought was a mantra in your mind, a desperate plea against the crushing reality you were running towards.

You reached the stairway that led down to the city, the cold wind from the open door cutting through you like a knife. The long descent loomed before you, and the weight of impending loss crushed down on your chest, making it hard to breathe. The stairs seemed endless, a tunnel into the depths of your dread.

Azriel’s wings scraped the narrow space behind you as he caught up, his breath visible in the freezing air. He reached out, his hand closing around your arm, his touch gentle yet firm. 

“Y/N, stop,” he said, his voice a mix of anguish and urgency. “You need to listen to me.”

You tore your arm from his grasp, eyes wide with terror. “No! You need to take me to him. I need to know he’s okay.” Your voice cracked, desperation spilling out with each word.

Azriel’s face twisted in sorrow, a look of profound regret etched into his features. “Y/N, please. He’s... he’s gone.”

The words slammed into you like a physical blow. You stumbled back, collapsing against the wall. “No,” you whispered, your head shaking violently as if you could reject the truth through sheer force of will. “No, he can’t be gone. He can’t be.”

Tears streamed down your face, blinding you. You tried to push past Azriel, your movements frantic and uncoordinated, but he stepped in front of you, his wings partially unfurled, creating a barrier between you and the world outside. His hands settled on your shoulders, steadying you as you lashed out, your fists weakly pounding against his chest.

“Let me go!” you sobbed, your voice breaking. “I have to see him. I have to—”

Azriel’s grip tightened, his eyes brimming with deep, aching sorrow. “Y/N, I’m so sorry. He’s gone. There’s nothing you can do.”

You collapsed against him, all strength drained from your body, your head pounding with a pain that seemed to echo the agony in your heart. Your fists continued their weak assault on his chest, your cries muffled against his shirt. “It’s all my fault,” you choked out. “It’s all my fucking fault!”

Azriel held your wrists, stopping the futile blows. His gaze was downcast, his expression one of shared grief. Your knees gave way, and you sank to the floor, body trembling with silent sobs. “It’s all my fault,” you whispered, voice raw with anguish. “I shouldn’t have—I…”

Azriel knelt beside you, his wings folding around you in a protective cocoon. His jaw clenched, his face contorted with pain as he reached out to hold you. “You couldn’t have known what would happen,” he murmured softly. “He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself.”

You looked up at him, your face streaked with tears and eyes flashing with anger. “You don’t know what he would have wanted!” you cried, the words laced with bitterness. Then you broke down again, collapsing into a heap of sobs. “I brought him into this. He got hurt because of me.”

Azriel’s arms enveloped you, lifting you to your knees as he pulled you close. His embrace was firm, offering a faint solace in the midst of your torment as you went limp against him.

For a long moment, you stayed like that, the world outside fading into nothingness. The only reality was the shattered remnants of your heart.

To my readers, when one door closes, a tall shadowy man appears in your window: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian @loglady00

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 23

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 5K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Wandering through the forest in the Night Court in the middle of winter was most certainly not the best idea. As the two of you continued deeper into the woods, you felt the chill of the winter air sinking into your wet clothes, making it feel as though the fabric was melding with your skin. Your teeth clacked together wildly as you trudged up the hill, your toes frozen in your boots, and your hair essentially freezing into place as you sniffled.

With your limbs stiff from the cold, every step felt like you were tripping over yourself. Branches snagged at your feet, you misstepped into holes, and your knees buckled beneath you. Though you caught yourself each time, the knees of your pants were now thoroughly muddy.

Caelum pushed forward ahead, only a few paces in front of you, occasionally looking back to ensure you hadn’t run off or tried to hide. He didn't say anything, and for that, you were grateful. He must have been cold too, and his footing was less sure, but he kept silent about it.

Before either of you spoke, the sun began to set, and Caelum started scrutinizing the surrounding areas more intently. The temperature continued to drop, and soon, even taking steps hurt more than you could bear. "Caelum," you called up to your mate, who was still trampling through the undergrowth. He didn’t turn back. "Caelum!" you shouted more firmly. He finally stopped and glanced over his shoulder at you. "We need to stop and get warm." Your voice was hoarse, as though the chill had permeated your vocal cords.

“I know,” he shot back and continued forward. You didn’t follow, standing there shivering. When he didn’t hear your footsteps, he turned and looked back at you. “Come on,” he ordered.

“No,” you said back.

Caelum growled, “You going to stand out here and freeze?”

You stared back at him, “I want to stop now.”

Caelum brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “We can’t stop out in the open. If we make a fire, anyone can see the smoke from the city.”

“I don’t care,” you shot back.

Caelum glared at you. “You want me to go to prison?”

“I don’t care what happens to you.”

You could see Caelum’s jaw locking and his blood beginning to boil as his stare hardened. Then he released it with a sigh. “There’s a cave somewhere near here. We can stop there. Make a fire.” He turned around and began walking again. You didn’t move. He turned back, staring down the hill at you, “So you’re just going to freeze to death down there?”

You weighed your options. Freezing to death didn’t sound that bad, given whom you would be spending the evening with, but Titania would have alerted someone by now, or at least you hoped. And Kai would be at a healer. If you had any chance of seeing him again, you would have to make concessions. 

With a deep breath, you began trudging up the hill, following Caelum into the growing darkness of the forest. The thought of warmth, however fleeting, propelled you forward, step by agonizing step.

Caelum continued silently in front of you, the only sounds besides your footsteps were the occasional sniffling and the crunch of ice beneath your boots. The winter sky faded from pinks to purples as the shadows elongated into the coming night. Finally, after what felt like hours, you arrived at the mouth of a cave. Caelum picked up a large stone and hurled it into the darkness, listening intently as the sound echoed off the stone walls and floor. When no additional noises followed, Caelum turned to you. “Grab some firewood.” 

The two of you turned back to the forest and began collecting dry branches and brush, carrying them back to the cave. Caelum picked up one of the longer branches and used his hunting knife to peel back some bark, pressing it into the sap leaking from a nearby pine. He wrapped torn cloth around the end and set it alight using two rocks. When he stood, the torch blazed, and he took a few steps into the cave.

The cave sloped downwards, with loose stones lining the floor, descending for what seemed like forever. Caelum looked back at you, motioning with his head and a grunt for you to carry the collected wood behind him. Scowling at him, you picked up the wood anyway. Caelum stepped further in, the torch illuminating only a bit of the wall and ceiling. Once you were a yard into the cave, Caelum ordered you to drop the wood. It fell with a loud clatter, and you stared at him, crossing your arms.

“Charming,” he said.

You planted yourself on the rocks, still shivering, as Caelum moved some stones to create a small pit and set to work lighting the fire. You curled your knees to your chest, trying to retain body heat, but your whole body shook with chills. Once the fire started, you felt the tantalizing licks of warmth. Caelum warmed his hands by the fire, then stood and began removing his wet clothing. He placed a large branch between two stones, hanging his shirt and pants to dry, then turned to you. You tried not to look at him, at his nakedness, as he stood with so much confidence.

“Well?” he asked. You didn’t respond. “You going to get dry?” He continued. You flicked your eyes up to his face, which had a sneer plastered on it. “You know if you keep those wet clothes on, you’re going to freeze.”

You looked to the fire, its warmth barely touching the parts of you still clothed. As much as you hated his existence, he knew how to survive in the wild and had taught you as much. “Turn around,” you instructed.

Caelum scoffed and rolled his eyes, still facing you. “Turn. Around,” you repeated.

“You really expect me to turn around? We’ve spent the last century together, at least a year of it naked around each other.”

“Turn. Around.”

“Oh, what? Suddenly you’re shy? Seems like you’re more than happy to open your legs for anyone these days. I don’t see why they get to have all the fun.” You swallowed down the angry remark boiling beneath you, staring back at him. “If you won’t take off your clothes yourself, I’ll come over and do it for you,” he threatened.

Knowing he would have no issue ripping your clothes off, you hesitated. He took a step forward, and you immediately reached for the hem of your shirt, pulling it off. “Good,” he said, turning back to the fire.

You felt disgusting. Every inch of exposed skin felt dirty as you pulled off the damp cloth from your body. You stripped down to nothing, standing with aching joints from the cold. As you moved closer to the fire to hang your clothes, warmth radiated up your legs and back, and you hungered for more. You sat next to the fire, drawing your legs to your chest, covering yourself from Caelum’s inspecting gaze.

“You have some new scars,” he noted. You didn’t respond. “Pretty nasty one on your side there. Was that from the fall?”

The fire crackled in front of you as you stared into it, the smoke leisurely floating out of the cave, hopefully signaling your presence.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he said. You still didn’t turn to him. “I’m sorry it all had to happen like this.” A crack of wood snapping in the fire. “If it had been up to me, we would have walked out of that front gate with my pack.” He paused, waiting for your response, then continued, “I even packed you some extra clothes and that blanket you love.”

The red and black quilt you had made during your first winter together, lined with the expensive fleece Caelum had given you as a solstice gift. Knowing it was left behind meant one less piece of comfort for you to return to.

“I had it all planned out,” Caelum continued, his voice smooth and calculated. “I was going to find you in the city, bring you flowers, or something.” The fire crackled, sending sparks into the air. “Then I’d ask you to take a walk with me, spend the day in the city, have a good time. And then you’d come home with me, and we’d travel back. Maybe even stop and see my family.”

You laughed lightly without realizing it.

“What?” Caelum asked, his eyes narrowing.

You raised your brows, still staring into the fire, shaking your head. “Nothing.”

“No, you laughed. Why did you laugh?” he demanded.

You rolled your eyes, pressing your chin into your knees.

“If you think this is so funny, care to enlighten me?” His voice turned stern.

You turned your gaze to him, bile rising in your throat at the sight of his face. “You’re a clueless bastard,” you spat.

He seemed taken aback, not used to your insults. His face hardened, then he took a breath. “Why is that?”

“You thought you could just show up, use that fake charm, and I’d come crawling back with you?” You shook your head. “Is that really what you thought would happen? Do you think I’m that easy?”

“Seems like it isn’t too hard to convince you of things these days,” he finally replied.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Raising his voice, Caelum spat back, “Do you know how hard it is to feel your mate lust after someone else? To smell another male on you and not want to rip them to shreds? Do you know how much self-control it took to not completely slaughter that kid?”

“You stabbed him! You would have killed him if you hadn’t gotten caught!” you screamed.

“Oh no, he’s definitely dead.” Caelum’s smile was sinister. “I stabbed him right in the heart, felt it pop when I crushed the artery.” He laughed. “I just wish I’d had the chance to rip his beating heart out.”

Your lip quivered, hot tears welling in your eyes as you pictured Kai bleeding out in the street, his eyes wide with fear.

“Oh,” Caelum said, tilting his head, “did that strike a chord?”

You gulped, your breath ragged.

“He deserved it. Fucking someone else’s mate,” Caelum said, nudging the fire with a stick, sending embers into the air.

“You are a cruel and foul male. I hope someday you choke on your own blood so you can taste the poison that runs in your veins,” you hissed. “I hope you feel every bit of pain you inflict on others. You’re a predator. You’re vile, evil, and incapable of love.”

Caelum looked at you. “You used to love looking at me,” he whispered. “I used to catch you staring when we were out in the field. You’d smile and look away when I looked back.”

“I was a child,” you shot back.

“No, you knew what you wanted. You’d follow me around all day in those woods. Watching me, hiding from me.” Caelum paused. “Do you remember when I taught you to swim?” Your jaw tightened. “When you found me by the lake, after I’d been out, and asked me to teach you?” Your jaw hardened. “You took off that dress my mother gave you and asked me to turn around, but when you caught me looking, you didn’t tell me to close my eyes. No, you put on a show. Then you got in the lake, walked over to me, and climbed onto my back while I took you out deeper. Do you remember that?”

You tried to push the memory from your mind—the feeling of Caelum’s warm skin, the smell of his hair as you pressed into his shoulder.

“I remember how you wouldn’t let go until I let you rest in front of me, with your arms around my neck while I taught you to float.” He continued, “And you just kept holding on, begging me to keep holding you.”

“Stop it,” you said.

But he didn’t. “You remember how we’d meet every day, even when we stopped swimming? And you still insisted we undress.”

“Stop,” you hissed again.

“See, you can pretend I trapped you or that you don’t love me. But I know deep inside, you’re still the Y/N who would’ve done anything to get me out of my clothes.”

“That isn’t love.”

Caelum's head tilted quizzically sideways. “And you would know what love is?” he asked, his voice laced with mockery. “Because it seems to me like you’ve never really known love before me. I mean, come on, your mother?”

“Don’t talk about her,” you threatened.

“She didn’t love you,” he continued, ignoring your warning. “She raised you in a whorehouse.”

You growled at him, but he pressed on. “You were conceived because someone paid her to fuck her and then she couldn’t even remember who it was because she fucked all the way up and down Velaris.”

“Shut up,” you hissed.

“And then she had you, and instead of raising you, she pawned you off on others while she fucked, and fucked, and fucked, and snorted shit off the street.”

“Stop!” you screamed over and over, but he wouldn’t stop. 

“Even still, she didn’t give two shits about you. She left you in the fucking woods to die so she could go back to her old life.”

“Shut up!” you screamed, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“She didn’t fucking want you!” he screamed back, his chest heaving. You rocked back and forth, your ears covered under your palms as you cried. “She left you to die because she didn’t love you!” Caelum stared at you, his gaze intense. “You didn’t know love until you met me.”

You tried to block out his voice, but it seeped through. “You used to cry yourself to sleep every night, and I would come in and let you sleep on my chest until you fell asleep. Hours. I would spend hours doing that. Running my fingers over your back, holding you. And even after you fell asleep, I would stay until I knew you wouldn’t have nightmares.”

Caelum’s gaze was locked on you, unwavering. “Every time we’d go out hunting, I’d bring a bag to pick blackberries for you to bring back, even though every other male would give me shit for it. Because when I’d bring them home, you’d smile. I would do anything for that smile.” He ran his hand through his hair. “And when you wanted to live in a bigger cabin, a place for us, I didn’t ask any questions. I just started building. You know why?” He looked at you, though you didn’t respond. “Because I love you. I do all that shit because I love you so fucking much.” He shook his head, tears welling in his eyes as he pushed them away. “And the day that mating bond snapped, I just—I felt so lucky that someone as wonderful as you was made for me.”

You coughed back a sob, tears streaming down your cheeks and snot dripping over your lips.

“We were made for each other,” he said, scooting closer, the rocks under him tumbling deeper into the cave. “You make me better. Even now, this is all just a challenge to make me better.” As he moved closer, you thought about moving away, but every part of you felt trapped, encased in a war of emotions. He had taken you in with no questions. He had loved you, in however way he could. He tried to make your life better. And yet, you were disgusted by the way he touched you; your skin remembered the bruises he had caused, and the vile poison he spat at you.

But as he closed in on you, wrapping his arm around your shaking body, you felt defeated and did not push back. Caelum pulled you into him, your limbs heavy as he did. He grasped you under your bent legs and pulled you into his lap. The muscled strength of his legs and arms curled around you until he cradled you with his body, his chin resting on the crown of your head as he rocked back and forth with you. “We can make this better,” he whispered. “We’ll have a better life. And we’ll love one another the way we deserve.”

Had you any strength to push back, you would have, but your forehead ached, your shoulders felt as though you had been slammed into concrete, and your whole head swam with uncertainty, grief, anger, regret, yearning, fear, and denial. Nothing in you felt a glimmer of happiness or hope. Part of you wished that the cold would blow out that fire and kill you.

___________________________________________________

Caelum continued to hold you long into the night, staring into the fire while you, facing the mouth of the cave, silently prayed for rescue. But no one came. Neither of you slept. Caelum kept you pulled to him, your combined body heat maintaining a rather comfortable temperature. When the sky began to lighten with the early morning sun, Caelum finally placed you back onto the rocky ground and stood, stretching his muscular arms high above his head. You glanced up at him as he yawned, the sight of his unguarded moment almost surreal.

He checked the clothes nearby, seemingly satisfied with their level of dryness, and tossed yours to you across the fire. The clothes were less wet, but the slight damp made you shiver as you pulled them on. Caelum snuffed out the fire, covering the ashes with rocks to hide any trace you had been there. “Ready to go home?” he asked as you stood near the cave mouth, looking into the forest. You didn’t respond.

Caelum stepped out of the cave, looked up towards the sun to get his bearings, and then turned to walk through the woods. He had an innate sense of direction and, having been raised in a hunting group, he lacked no skills in wayfaring. The air was slightly warmer today, which would be helpful given the climb into the mountains. The morning passed with no conversation, not even Caelum filling the silence with his idle thoughts. You kept your gaze pointed to the ground, trying to get your bearings. As you hiked higher, the temperature began to drop steadily, and your legs ached more with each step up the mountainside.

Caelum didn’t falter in his pace, though you found yourself panting, cold biting wind slicing into your lungs. Finally, after hours of silence, Caelum called back, “There’s a village ahead a mile or so. We’ll stop there. Get some supplies.”

You knew that village; you had passed it on the way into Velaris with Kai and his father. You were only a half a day from your cottage in the woods and a full day from Caelum’s cabin. Knowing where you were, and how to get back to your own home, you felt a rising sense of bravery, quickly followed by dread. If you could get back to your own cabin, you would have the upper hand in knowing the lay of the land. If you could reach Kai’s village, you could find protection. But you would have to act quickly and in secret, and you would have to do it before you reached the next village.

Caelum hadn’t eaten in two days and hadn’t slept. He was bound to be slower, weaker. If he managed to refuel and get supplies, there would be no way you could escape with any chance of making it.

You continued trudging up the path, your mind racing with plans and contingencies. The forest around you was eerily quiet, the only sound the crunch of snow underfoot and the occasional snap of a twig. The cold air bit at your face, your breath visible in the crisp air. You glanced at Caelum, his back turned to you, his posture tense but determined. He was always so sure of himself, so confident in his abilities. But even he couldn’t ignore the exhaustion creeping into his bones. You had to use that to your advantage.

You stumbled slightly, your foot caught under a root, and you fell to the ground, landing heavily on your arms as you cried out in pain. Caelum whipped around. “Get up,” he ordered.

You pulled your foot up, wincing as you did so and pulled your pant leg up around your right ankle. “Something’s wrong,” you said, your voice laced with pain.

“We don’t have time for this, get up,” he insisted.

You tried to stand, shaking slightly, and yelping a bit as you put weight down on your leg, quickly faltering and landing back in the snow with a hiss. Caelum groaned and approached you as you slid onto your rear. He kneeled down in front of you, pulling the leg of your pant up slightly to investigate. You groaned, pushing him back slightly.

“I have to look at it,” he instructed. You looked at his face, tinged with concern, before you pushed your leg out to him. He pulled up your pant leg slightly. You harnessed any sense of strength you had left and pulled your knee up, slamming into his nose with a resounding crunch before kicking him back. He let out a yelp of pain before falling back.

You scrambled to your feet, kicking snow out behind you as you turned and took off into the woods. You could hear him groaning as he called out, “You bitch!” But the pounding in your ears almost drowned it out. You leapt through the woods, jumping over downed trees and skidding across frozen sections of leaves. Caelum wouldn’t be far behind, and the minutes you had to start ahead were invaluable. You hauled yourself over a series of boulders, your muscles straining as the rocks cut into your palms, scuttling your feet up as you crested them, and then jumped down the other side. You did your best to avoid snow patches—tracks were deadly.

You slid between a downed log, too tall to jump over, and pulled up on the other side, your entire left side caked in mud and refuse. You could hear Caelum calling out for you, trampling through the woods behind. He would follow your scent, and he had speed and footing you didn’t, but if he caught you, you didn’t want to consider what would happen next. The bare branches of the trees clawed at your face and clothes, leaving thin, stinging scratches on your exposed skin. Caelum moved with a terrifying combination of speed and power. Each of his strides covered twice the distance of yours, closing the gap with alarming swiftness.

Your mind raced as fast as your feet. You had to find a way to lose him, to outsmart him in these woods, which slowly grew more familiar. You veered sharply to the left, darting down a narrow path between heavily packed underbrush. The forest thickened, the trees growing closer together, their branches intertwining like skeletal fingers. You could hear Caelum’s breathing now, deep and steady, a stark contrast to your own ragged gasps.

You spotted a fallen log up ahead, half-buried in the snow. Desperation fueling you, you dove down behind it, pressing yourself parallel to it and flat against the icy ground. The cold seeped into your clothes, but you barely noticed, only focused on being silent and invisible.

The footsteps slowed, then stopped. You held your breath, every muscle tensed. The silence was deafening, broken only by the occasional creak of the trees in the wind. You could feel your mate’s presence, a looming shadow just beyond your sight.

Minutes passed like hours. Slowly, you dared to lift your head, peering over the edge of the log. The shadows, that seemed to move on their own, danced along the trees, but revealed nothing but the stark, empty forest. Had he gone? You stayed still a moment longer, straining your ears for any sign of movement.

Then, a whisper of a sound—a crunch of snow underfoot, far too close. Your heart seized in your chest. You bolted upright, abandoning any pretense of stealth. You ran, your legs pumping with a newfound energy born of sheer survival instinct.

You heard the crashing behind you, more frantic than before. Caelum was on your heels, his pace relentless. You could feel his presence like a weight bearing down on you and the trees became a blur as you tore through the forest, every ounce of your will focused solely on your escape.

In the distance, you saw the faint glimmer of a frozen stream. Hope flared within you. If you could reach it, follow it across, you’d be close to the cabin. You were unsure how you had made such good time, but perhaps by sheer will of survival you had crossed miles without realizing. You pushed harder, ignoring the raging burn in your muscles, the freezing air scraping your lungs.

When you reached the creek, your feet slid on the ice as you turned, sharply following its winding path. The cabin was just a few more bends, and you could see through the trees the rickety structure that seemed like a lifeline in the darkness. You sprinted towards it, though the footfalls behind you remained heavy.

As you rounded the bend, a large hand reached out and gripped you by the collar, slamming you into the ground, your head impacting with the ice as you screamed out. Caelum straddled you, as you struggled against him, the blood from his nose pouring down his face in a red stream. “You fucking bitch!” he screamed as he shook your shirt, your head slamming into the ice over and over again. You screamed out in pain, your hands beating against his chest as you tried to grip his face, but no matter how you tried, you couldn’t get a good grip. Caelum continued to bash you into the ice, and you were unable to tell if the cracking beneath was your skull or the ice. Your arm fell to one side as you inched your fingers towards a rock on the bank of the creek, digging your fingers under it and ripping it from its icy confines before bringing it up and smashing it against Caelum’s temple. He dropped your shirt as you slammed it into him again, pushing yourself from beneath him and sliding across the creek. But before you were out of arm's reach, he gripped your ankle and pulled you back. Your fingers tried to grip anything but the ice made it impossible to stop while he hauled you back, gripping you by the base of your hair at the root and hauling you up to face him. “You’re a fucking bitch!” he screamed in your face as he reared his hand up in a fist.

Suddenly, a shadow swooped down from the treetops, and before Caelum could react, a powerful force yanked him off of you, sending him sprawling onto the ice. Your mate scrambled to his feet, his eyes widening as he took in the sight before him.

Standing there was Azriel. Tall, muscular, in his full armor, with his broad bat-like wings stretching out behind him, shielding you. The wings almost seemed to shimmer as the light ran through them.

“That’s enough,” Azriel said, his voice calm but filled with undeniable authority.

Caelum sneered, wiping blood from his lip. “Who the hell are you?”

Azriel stepped forward slightly, his wings folding. “I’m the one who’s going to beat the shit out of you.”

With a roar, Caelum lunged at him, his fists swinging wildly. Azriel sidestepped him easily, his movements fluid and graceful. He countered with a swift punch to Caelum’s ribs, the impact sending a shockwave through your mate's body, and subsequently, a sharp pain down the bond.

Caelum staggered back, clutching his side. He was strong and brutal, but Azriel was faster, more precise—a warrior's calculation. Desperation fueled your mate's next attack. He charged again, throwing a punch aimed at Azriel’s head. This time, the warrior caught Caelum’s fist mid-swing, twisting his arm and forcing him to his knees.

Caelum growled in pain, and you winced as you felt your own arm light up in anguish. But before he could react further, Azriel lifted Caelum by his collar and threw him across the ice. Your mate slid, his back slamming into a tree at the edge of the creek. He lay there for a moment, stunned, the cold seeping into his clothes.

Azriel advanced, his eyes burning with fury. “Stay down,” he commanded.

Caelum, however, was not one to give up easily. He reached for a broken branch, his fingers closing around it. With a snarl, he swung it again at Azriel. The warrior blocked the attack with his forearm, the branch snapping in two, and retaliated with a powerful kick to Caelum’s chest, knocking the wind from him, and it seemed also from you.

Gasping for breath, Caelum’s eyes darted to the dense forest beyond the creek. In a last-ditch effort, he scrambled to his feet and bolted, slipping across the ice. He plunged into the forest, branches whipping against him as he fled.

Azriel watched Caelum flee, his wings unfurling slightly as if preparing to give chase. “Stop!” you wheezed out. Azriel turned to you, his concern immediately shifting. He quickly moved to you, falling to his armored knees as he knelt beside you, gently lifting your head.

“Are you alright?” he asked, his voice soft and filled with worry.

You winced and nodded slightly.

Azriel moved to put one arm under your shoulders. As you leaned forward, your midsection screamed in protest, and you yelped in pain. Azriel paused, examining you more closely. The back of your head was matted with blood, and your arms were covered in cuts from the trees. “I know it’s going to hurt,” Azriel said gently, “but I need you to hold onto me.”

You nodded, bracing yourself. Between a cry of pain and a scream, you pulled your arms around his neck, breathing in his scent—a mix of leather, metal, mist and cedar. Azriel held you securely, his grip strong yet careful. 

In a moment, the world blurred and twisted around you, and Azriel winnowed you away.

To my readers, deep breaths, the mans has returned: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 22

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.1K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

You felt sobs wrack your body as Caelum dragged you through various sidestreets of the city, now on high alert. He navigated the back alley outskirts, dodging guard patrols now out in full force. When he finally reached a rundown alley, out of view of any main streets, he pressed you against a wall, his hand still clamped over your mouth, Kai’s blood mixing into your saliva. His eyes, glinting with madness, bore into yours as he pulled the bloodied knife from his jacket and held it to your stomach. 

“If you make one noise, if you scream, or yell, or try to run, I will drive this knife so deep into your stomach that it chips the wall on the other side. Do you understand?” 

You nodded, and he slowly pulled his hand back, knife still poised at your stomach. You spat the blood from your mouth. 

“Now, here’s what we are going to do,” Caelum said. “You’re going to wipe your face and stop your fucking sobbing.” He pulled his sleeve down and rubbed it aggressively over your nose and face until the skin was raw. When even that didn’t get the blood off, he grabbed a handful of dirty, brown snow and crushed it onto you. Satisfied, he continued, “Then, we’re going to walk through the streets with you as my happy mate, and we’re going to find a place to hide until the gates are back open. Understand?” He dug the knife a bit more into your stomach, the point pinching your skin as you whimpered and nodded.

You steadied your breathing, wiping your face with your jacket. Caelum kept turning to look over his shoulder, listening for any signs of approaching guards. Once you had composed yourself, breathing deeply as Nesta had taught you, Caelum hauled you to your feet by your upper arm. “Smile,” he ordered as he sheathed the knife. The dark material of his clothing absorbed the blood, making it look like a mere stain of dirt. 

You took Caelum’s hand in your own, his grip tight enough to make you wince as the two of you started wandering out into the streets. You silently prayed you wouldn’t see anyone you knew, fearing how Caelum might respond. You wouldn’t allow more blood to be shed for you. 

With the ease of a monster, Caelum slipped into the role of a doting mate, his thumb tracing lines up and down your hand as you walked through the city, your limbs shaking. When a guard patrol passed by, he even had the audacity to ask, “Excuse me, officer? What’s all the commotion?”

The armed guard, dressed in dark blue chest plates, stopped and assessed you both. Caelum squeezed your hand, prompting you to smile politely at the guard and add, “The front gates are closed, and we need to get back home before night.”

The guard, seemingly deeming you non-threatening, responded, “There was a fight and someone was wounded. We’re just making sure we have time to flush out the one who got away.”

Caelum gasped in feigned shock, pulling you closer to his side. “Should we be worried? Do we need to get indoors?”

The guard shook his head, “No, I wouldn’t be too worried. Just keep your eyes open, and if you see anything suspicious, alert a patrol.” 

Caelum nodded his head, egregiously thanking the officer before continuing through the streets. You continued wandering, overwhelmed with emotion and fear, barely registering where you were. Everything in you wanted to scream for help, but you knew you’d barely get a squeak out before Caelum had his knife in you. You only hoped someone had gotten to Kai soon enough to heal him. Based on the wheezing, you knew the knife had punctured his lung and hoped it had missed his heart.

As you turned down another sidestreet, you heard a familiar voice call out your name. You lifted your head to see Titania strolling towards you. Her red hair rested on her shoulders, slightly curling at the ends, and her gray wool coat, with patches and holes, hung loosely on her frame. Perhaps there was a time when she fit such a coat, but now it seemed to envelop her entirely. 

Caelum gripped your hand tighter as you continued walking towards Titania, who smiled at you but then seemed to realize something was amiss. “Hi, my love,” she said, reaching you and leaning in to kiss your cheek.

“Hi,” you whispered.

“I was just coming down to the market to see you,” she said, looking up at Caelum, who smiled at her. He extended a hand, “Kai,” he introduced himself. Titania accepted the handshake, smiling at him and glancing at you.

“Kai, that’s right. Y/N was telling me about you.”

Your heart felt as though it stopped beating.

“Only good things, I hope?” Caelum lied through his teeth.

Titania tilted her head slightly. “Well, of course.”

Caelum smiled. “You know, she’s told me so much about you as well. How much of a mother you were like to her when she was young.”

Titania smiled tightly, her eyes flickering back to yours. “Oh, she did?”

“Yeah, about how you would take care of her when she was sick, and how you would let her dress up!” he continued.

Your stomach dropped as you realized how much of that conversation he had heard or seen.

Titania merely smiled and nodded, looking towards him and then at you. She reached out her hand to take yours lovingly. “Well,” she started, “I’m just so happy to see her so grown up and well taken care of.” You dug your nail into the back of her hand, gripping it tight enough to make your knuckles white as you smiled.

Titania cast her gaze up to Caelum, who merely chuckled and beamed with pride. “Did she show you the picture of herself as a child?” Titania asked, and your stomach fell completely through to your feet. You tried to maintain your composure.

“Yes!” Caelum responded. “She was adorable!”

Titania did not break her gaze with him as she let out a soft “Mm,” of agreement. She then turned to you, “Well, my love, I must be off. Things to do, people to see. But don’t be a stranger.” She leaned up to kiss Caelum on the cheek and then brought herself to your face, kissing you and whispering softly, “I know.” Your breath caught in your throat as she leaned back, her hands resting on your shoulders, rubbing life into them.

You said your goodbyes, and as Titania turned and walked off, your mind raced. She had tested him, and he had failed. You hadn’t brought the image home to show Kai; you’d instead told Titania to keep it. You just prayed that Titania would wait to alert anyone until you were well out of the city and away from where anyone else could get hurt.

_________________________________________________

The two of you continued to wander through the streets with their seemingly endless turns and twists until you were thoroughly lost. Occasionally, you would pass by the front gates only to see them still closed. Caelum grew increasingly frustrated, acting like a caged animal as he began to feel more and more trapped. Finally, when the sun was beginning to set over Ramiel, Caelum let out a low growl and pushed you off the street into an alley. He nearly hauled you to the end, not stopping until he reached a sewer grate. With a grunt, he pulled it up, knife still in hand, and motioned to the hole.

“In,” he commanded.

“No,” you whispered, stepping back. “Please, no.”

Caelum brandished the knife at you, pointing it again to the sewer entrance. “I wasn’t asking.”

You swallowed your fear and walked forward, slowly descending the ladder into the darkness. The stench of rotting food and waste hit you, making you gag as you dropped into the blackened water below. Caelum followed behind, pulling the grate over top of you, reducing the light to what the sun provided through the small holes. He splashed down into the water, listening while you tried to hold back your vomit.

Other than the slight dripping of water down the walls, there was no sound except for the bustle of the crowds above. Caelum gripped your arm tightly and started pulling you down the tunnel. “Come on,” he ordered.

You followed, your feet trudging through the thick muck, occasionally losing your footing as Caelum gripped you to keep you from falling. The sloshing water sprayed up onto your thighs and waist, and you doubted any amount of showering could fully cleanse you. Caelum followed the light peeking through the grates above as you wandered through the tunnels.

Then, without warning, Caelum stopped. “What?” you asked, and he quickly shushed you. You heard it too—the sound of water running in mass. Caelum pulled you toward the sound as you felt the current of the wastewater pulling at your knees. Rounding a corner, you saw a faint glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. Caelum’s speed increased as he rushed toward it. When you finally made it, the sun blinded you momentarily, but the sound of rushing water drowned out any other noise. 

As your eyes adjusted, you peered over the edge and realized you had reached the end of the sewer, where the water poured out into the sea. Ahead, there was an endless horizon of water, and to the left and right, the forest surrounding Velaris curved into oblivion. Caelum began pulling off his winter jacket and then pulled off yours, throwing it into the churning water below. He placed his knives into the band of his pants to secure them. You wrapped your arms around yourself as the biting cold hit you.

“We’re going to jump,” he yelled over the roar of the water.

“What?” you yelled back.

“We’re going to jump,” he pointed to a rocky outcrop just to the right where the treeline almost touched the water. “And then we’re going to swim there.”

Your eyes widened. “Are you crazy?” you yelled.

“I thought you already called me that?” he shot back, smirking. “Ladies first.” 

You peered over the edge to the hundred-foot drop below, where the black water churned in white bubbles. “I can’t,” you called to him, turning to face him. Without responding, he shoved you over the edge.

You plummeted, facing the sky, and as your back slapped into the raging sea below, it felt as though you had fallen onto rock. Pain screamed through your back as water rushed over you, the pounding almost excruciatingly loud. For a moment, the freezing water shocked your system, making everything feel as though it were on fire. Slowly regaining your senses, you kicked up to the surface, just outside of the crush. You looked up to see Caelum glancing down from above as you tried to breathe air into your frozen lungs. You turned and began to swim toward the rocky outcrop, scanning for any other place to swim but finding only raised banks. You didn’t look back to see if Caelum had jumped, nor could you hear the impact over the roar of the falls, but you pushed forward through the water, freezing to your core.

When you finally made it to the shore, you hauled yourself onto the rocks, breathing in ragged gasps. You stood, your clothing sticking to you as you took a few shaky steps forward, your boots leaking water. Caelum pulled himself out behind you, panting.

Your teeth chattered wildly as Caelum, seemingly unfazed by the cold, trudged up to you, his hair wet and falling into his face. Once again, he gripped you by your upper arm and pulled you into the woods. As you turned and looked over your shoulder, you saw the walls of Velaris glimmering behind you. As Caelum dragged you deeper into the trees, you said a silent goodbye, knowing you would never see it again.

To my readers, SPLASH: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 21

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.7K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Caelum stood before you, leaning casually on the corner of a stone building. You took him in, and he seemed almost larger than the last time you had seen him. His shoulders, under that wool hunting jacket, seemed broader, his legs longer, and his hands larger. His blond hair, which you used to trim back to keep tight to his scalp, was now much longer, the tips of it barely brushing over his shoulders. His beard, usually kept in stubble, had now grown in more fully, but those green eyes were still the same, filled with the same hatred and lust that they always had been.

You pushed yourself back so your back hit the side of the barn as he just looked at you, his eyes tracing you up and down as he took you in. “You look good,” he continued, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps forward.

Your eyes widened as he closed the gap between you two, the overwhelming scent of spruce and sage filling your nose as he stood a mere arm's length away. He gazed down at you again, “You’ve put on some weight,” he commented nonchalantly as your heartbeat pounded in your ears.

You swallowed hard, trying to steady your breath, your voice barely above a whisper, “Please, Caelum, just leave me alone.” 

He smirked, his eyes narrowing as he leaned in closer, “Oh, love, you know I can’t do that. You’re my mate. Sacred and forever.” You pressed harder against the barn, feeling the rough wood digging into your back. “Two parts of one whole creature,” he said, placing his hand firmly beside your head while his other hand traced the side of your cheek. He smiled, a catlike grin as you flinched away from his touch. Your entire view was consumed by his body as you whimpered. “Forever destined to roam the world in search of the other.” He placed his other hand to the opposite side of your head, closing you in. “So many others spend lifetimes searching for their mate, and now that we found each other, you would want to throw that all away? And over what?”

You hardened your gaze on him, “Over you beating me, and screaming at me, and making me wish for death.”

Caelum merely rolled his eyes, “You were always one for drama, my love, you always did love little stories.”

You pushed your hands against his chest, though he didn’t move. “You beat me!” you screamed.

“I never hurt you more than you could handle.”

“You broke my nose and jaw!”

Caelum raised his eyebrow, his fingers drumming the wood, “I seem to recall you fell backward and hit your face on the counter.”

You shook your head as you stammered out, “You put me on the kitchen floor and kicked me.”

His mouth turned down as he seemed to search through memories, “I can’t seem to recall that. You sure you weren’t just dreaming?”

You just shook your head again as you said, “No, no, I know that all happened.”

Caelum let out a sigh, letting one hand drop to his side, the other still firmly planted next to you. “Y/N, I know that I had problems—”

You shot out, “You’re a psychopath.”

Caelum’s face fell flat as he continued, “With drinking. But,” his face lifted, “I’ve stopped drinking altogether.” You scoffed out a laugh as his face became more serious, “Honestly, Y/N, I haven’t had a single drink since you left.”

You tried to steady your breathing, “Good for you.”

“For us,” he corrected, taking your hand in his. You recoiled at his touch, but his grasp was tight enough that you couldn’t pull away. He pulled your hand to his chest, placing it over his heart. “I know I’ve done things that I regret, and I know that I’ve hurt you. But things are better now. I promise.”

You looked at his eyes, seemingly innocent but also void of any emotion other than greed. “You can’t change who you are.”

“You have to give me a chance.”

You screamed back, “I gave you over a century's worth of chances!”

“We have a lifetime, my love.”

“A lifetime of brutality and rage?” you spat at him.

His face turned harder, “Of love and adoration.”

“Two feelings you are incapable of having.”

A flash of anger ran across his face as he stared down at you, his chest nearly pressing into yours as he leaned in closer. Your heart caught in your throat as he gently moved the braid from your neck, leaning into it and breathing in deeply as he went to place a small kiss on the soft flesh behind your ear. But he paused, breathing in again. He pulled back, a smirk on his face as you caught his eye. “So you’ve been whoring yourself out?”

You furrowed your brow, “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

He merely scoffed, nodding his head as he bit down on his lower lip, his head tilting slightly, “I know my mate’s scent. And I know that that stench on your neck isn’t yours. And unless someone isn’t almost on top of you, you won’t hold that scent this long.”

“Caelum—” you warned, trying to wiggle your way to the side and away from him, but he planted his hand firmly on the opposite side of you. “Caelum, stop it. You’re being idiotic.”

“Is he charming?” he taunted. “Is he so kind, and sweet, and gentle?”

“Stop it,” you hissed.

“Does he know that if he runs his fingers on the small of your back that it will make your toes curl and you’ll melt?”

“Caelum—”

“Does he fuck you softly?” Caelum moved in close to your face, merely a whisper, “Does he know that you like your hair pulled?”

“Please—” you pleaded.

Caelum traced his tongue up the side of your throat, “Mm, I can almost taste him,” he whispered. “Was he in you this morning? You little slut.”

Your body shook with terror and revulsion. You tried to push him away, but he was immovable. Your breath came in ragged gasps, your vision blurring with tears. “Caelum, please, just go.”

He laughed softly, a chilling sound that made your blood run cold. “I’m not leaving without you.”

You pulled back slightly as he leaned against you again, “Just let me go.”

Caelum pressed a kiss into your neck which made you whimper in fear and disgust, “You are mine. You bonded yourself to me and promised that you would always be mine, and I would always be yours.” He pressed in another kiss as you gulped down the rock that had formed in your throat. 

“I am not your property.” You hissed. 

Caelum gripped your chin, pulling you to look at him as he hardened his gaze, “You didn’t get to decide that, love. The bond was formed. It’s unbreakable. You are mine, and I will always come for what is mine.” Caelum leaned in close, pressing his lips hard against yours as you struggled against him. Your mouth twisted into a scowl as you shoved him back, but his strength and large frame kept him planted in place.

You shouted out, “Caelum, stop!”

Your mate grabbed you around your waist, holding you in place, continuing to force himself onto you as you struggled, crying out for him to stop.

“Hey!” you heard from behind him. Caelum did not immediately turn. Instead, he took a deep inhale, grinning like a predator.

He turned slowly as your chest heaved, your eyes wide. “So you're the one who’s been keeping my mate warm and limber,” he said.

“Kai,” you called out, reaching your hand forward, but Caelum threw his own back.

“Not now, my love. The males are talking.” Caelum took a few steps forward, casual as Kai met him with a hard gaze. While tall, Kai had nothing on Caelum, who towered over him, and for as muscular as Kai was, your mate had at least forty pounds on him.

When Caelum approached, Kai merely stared up at him. “She doesn’t want you here.”

Caelum scoffed. “How can you know what she wants?”

“You don’t have the right to come and force her back with you.”

“Oh, but I have all the right. She’s my mate. She bound herself to me.”

“She doesn’t have to stick by that choice.”

Caelum smiled, a light laugh pushing from his nose. “See now, maybe you don’t understand because you don’t have a mate, but when you bond with someone, they enter your mind, your soul, so to speak.” Caelum turned around, wrapping his arm around Kai’s shoulders as he pulled away and pointed at you. “And the lovely female before us decided almost a century and a half ago, give or take a decade, that she would devote her life to me. And I to her.” Caelum turned his attention back to Kai. “So by reasonable understanding, I would say that she made her choice, and as adults, we stand by our choices.”

Kai’s gaze hardened. “Your sick interpretation of the mating bond means nothing to me.”

Caelum’s lips dropped, and he shrugged his shoulders, taking a few steps back towards you. “It doesn’t have to mean anything to you. You’re not involved. And even if she somehow, in a world that doesn’t exist, decided to continue running from me and deny the bond that so rightfully was agreed upon, I would still live forever in her mind, for every little moment.” Caelum pressed his finger to his temple. “Because even while she can be so incessantly frustrating, closing down the bond, or trying to shove me back, she can’t do it all the time.” Caelum turned back to you. “In those little moments, when you’re asleep, when you’re in pain, or even when you’re in ecstasy, the moments where you forget to shut me out, I feel you.” Caelum took a few strides towards you. “And I’ve been so patient. Feeling your ribs crack and break, listening to your screams, feeling the terror coursing through you while you watch your friend be slaughtered in front of you, or the rush of arousal when you touch someone else. All those moments, I sat by and watched, waiting for you to beg me to come get you and come home.” Your eyes widened, suddenly aware of everything that he might have seen in the months since you had been gone. Caelum closed the gap between the two of you, his breath hot in your face as you stared at him. “You, my love, so strong, and yet also incredibly weak. Sorry to hear about your mother, by the way. Perhaps you are more like her than you thought.”

From behind, you heard Kai, “What? What is he talking about?”

Caelum’s eyes widened, his smile lengthening as he raised his brow. “Oh, so you haven’t shared that little detail with him?” You gulped. “Well, let me fill you in on the details, Kai.” Your mate turned to him, Kai’s name in his voice filled you with venom. “You see, while you were out with your friends last night, my mate went on some soul-searching journey back home.” Kai looked to you as you tried to plead with him through your gaze not to listen. “And she learned that mommy dearest had been raising her in a pleasure house and had a rather nasty habit of using drugs to get through her day.” Caelum turned to you. “Isn’t that right?” You said nothing, the lump in your throat seeming to constrict any words from leaving you. “And who knows what all my mate witnessed,” his eyes flicked to you, “or felt.” He turned back to Kai, who looked only at you. “And it turns out that all those memories my sweet mate has of her mother aren’t really real, are they? No, her cute little head as a child just thought mommy was that caring and generous when really she was whoring herself out around the city for drugs.”

You whipped your head to your mate. “Shut up,” you hissed.

“But it’s true, isn’t it?” he asked back. “All of it? And then your mother took you into the woods and raised you there until she left you. She left you to go back and get high again.”

“Stop it,” you warned.

“And then, when you were so, so sad, you went out to find her.” Caelum flashed his gaze to Kai. “Does he know this part? It really is my favorite.” Caelum rested his arm against the barn. “I found her lying in the dirt and the cold, almost dead, and I brought her into my home. And she begged me to let her stay. She told me about her poor mother and how she was lost in the woods. And all it took was me giving her a place to sleep and some food to eat, and she wrapped herself around my finger.” You gulped down as tears began to fall. “And then she told me this long story about mates, and about how before the fae lived, the gods split creatures into two forever cursed to wander the world looking for their other half.” Caelum looked at Kai, smiling, and then turned back to you. “So you’ve shared your little bedtime story then?” he asked. “And then, just like her mother, she threw herself at me, begging me to let her stay, all because I smiled at her and fed her.” He smiled at Kai. “She really is so easy, isn’t she?” You felt the tears burn hot trails down your face as you glared at him, your gaze cast away from Kai. Caelum continued, “And then, the very first time we slept together, the bond snapped, and I’ve never seen so much relief on someone’s face. She started insisting, ‘We have to be mated,’ and ‘we can’t be apart.’” Caelum placed his hand on your shoulder. “And I couldn’t let you down, not after I took you in out of the kindness of my heart, and I fed you, clothed you. Loved you. So we accepted the bond that she so desperately wanted.” Caelum turned back to Kai, his head tilting slightly. “Now, my love, am I forgetting anything?” You gulped down your tears. “Oh yes, that’s right. What about when you begged me to build you that cabin in the woods so we could move away from my family and into a place of our own? And how I spent months up there, hauling trees, and slaving away to build you that home?” Caelum leaned into your cheek, pressing a kiss into it. “But it was all worth it because I was going to spend my time with you. My mate. My whole life. You promised me that.” Caelum turned back to Kai, “She sure does love telling her sad little stories, doesn’t she? And she performs them so well, with her puppy dog eyes and her quivering lip.” Caelum faced you, his voice dropping. “So why don’t we just go home, back to the life we know, and we can pick up where we left off?”

As he turned away from Kai, he slowly pulled back his jacket, revealing two large knives strapped to the inside. Your gasp caught in your throat. “It doesn’t have to end badly,” he whispered. “You can decide how this goes.” You looked between the knives and his face, feeling your heartbeat thumping in your ears. Caelum was a skilled hunter; you had seen him take down prey by hand much larger than Kai. You’d also seen him fight with his hunting party, and even though that was mostly for fun, the fights were brutal and often left the others bloodied and bruised. Caelum would have Kai bleeding on the ground before Kai could even know what happened. You swallowed and nodded lightly. “Good choice,” Caelum whispered.

He let his coat fall back into place, shielding the knives from view before reaching his hand out to you. Your breath quivered as you slid your hand into his, his grin purely primal and sadistic. Caelum turned back to Kai. “Seems we’ve reached a conclusion.” Kai’s mouth dropped when he saw you hand in hand with your mate, his head shaking lightly.

“Y/N,” Kai started, “You don’t have to do this.”

Caelum brought his hand to his pocket, right over where you knew the knife was, and he squeezed your hand. “No, Kai,” you said, your voice shaking lightly. “No, it’s okay.”

Kai’s face scanned yours in utter confusion as Caelum smirked. “She’s come to her senses,” he called. “Seems she finally remembered her promise to me.”

Kai made to take a few steps forward, but you lightly shook your head at him, your eyes widening. As you glanced toward Caelum’s hips, Kai’s eyes followed your own. In a moment of understanding, Kai stopped and looked at your face, still shaking a subtle no.

“We’ve got quite the journey home, so we’ll be on our way,” Caelum said, smiling at Kai, whose gaze never broke from yours.

Caelum gripped your hand tighter as he stepped away from the barn, pulling you alongside him toward the large iron gates. Your heart pounded in your chest, your head swimming with the reality that you were being taken back, and that no one here knew for sure where you were going. Not to mention that since you fought back, there would be a certainty of pain when you got back to the cabin that you hadn’t known in a long time. You took a few weary steps, your legs shaking as Caelum pulled you alongside him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders and pressing a kiss to the crown of your head.

Without much warning, you heard a few fast-paced steps from behind, followed by a grunt as Kai leapt onto Caelum’s back, his arms sliding around his neck in a chokehold. Caelum stumbled backward, throwing his head back and meeting Kai’s nose with a blood-curdling crack. Kai released his hold and fell to the ground as Caelum steadied himself, reaching into his jacket pocket and silently pulling out a large, serrated hunting knife.

You turned to find Kai on the ground, propped on his forearms with his hand to his nose, gushing dark red blood. He scurried back as Caelum let out a low growl and started walking towards him, gripping the knife in his hand.

“Stop!” you called out, running after your mate, who was determined to gut Kai. You knew the look in Caelum’s eyes too well—when red had shadowed over his vision and reason no longer existed. You grabbed his shoulder, pleading for him to stop. “Caelum, please, let’s just leave. I’ll go home without a problem, I’ll never leave again.” But he didn’t respond, continuing to trudge forward as he shook you off towards Kai, who had stumbled back onto his feet.

“Please, Caelum,” you screamed, trying to grab at the knife. You gripped his hand in your own as he turned, his face curled in angry rage. “Please, my love, let’s just go.” You heard Kai groan a few feet from you as he backed into the wall, his face reddened with blood.

You ran your hands up the length of Caelum’s arms as he looked at you, and for a second, the world seemed to stop turning. Your eyes pleaded with his, searching for a sense of pity or empathy. But there was none to be found. In a moment, Caelum raised his hand and slapped you hard across the cheek, causing your whole body to fly sideways as you let out a screech and gasp.

In the same instant, Kai rushed forward, knocking his shoulder into Caelum. Caelum raised the knife, poised to stab down into Kai’s back, but Kai raised his own arm to stop the blow. Kai struggled under Caelum’s pressure as the knife slowly inched down towards his face. Regaining your bearings, you jumped fully onto Caelum’s back, gripping his arm in your hands and trying to pull the knife back. The three of you grunted in determination until you finally brought your teeth down into the soft flesh of your mate’s wrist, tasting his blood as he cried out in pain.

Caelum brought his other hand up to try and pull you off, calling you every name he could think of. He gripped you by your hair, yanking you back and throwing you to the ground. Your body hit the wet cobblestone with a thump and splash. In that moment of distraction, Caelum drove the knife right down beneath Kai’s left shoulder blade, all the way to the hilt.

Kai roared out in agony, leaning forward into Caelum, who twisted the knife in the flesh, causing a sickening squelch as blood poured from the wound. You cried out for Kai as Caelum tugged the knife free, now dripping with blood, and sheathed it. Kai fell to the ground in a heap.

“No, no, no!” you screamed, crawling over to Kai, who lay wheezing.

Caelum twisted his head, as if trying to work out a spasm, his hand coated in blood as he wiped the knife on his pants and sheathed it. You pressed into the wound on Kai’s back as he groaned in pain. “Just stay with me,” you ordered, looking around as Caelum seemed to reorient himself. “Help!” you screeched, “Someone please help me!”

As your cries echoed, the sound of heavy footsteps came down the street. Caelum stepped forward, wrapping his bloodied hand around your mouth to stop your screams and hauling you upwards. Behind you, the gates of the city shut as Caelum hissed out a curse, his hand still pressed over your mouth as he considered his options. You still looked down at Kai, who was turning pale as the blood drained from his wound, wheezing out. Tears clouded your vision as you fought against your mate’s hold, but his grip was too tight.

As the footsteps pounded closer, Caelum took off with you in his arms down the side street. As he turned the corner, taking you out of sight of the stables, you saw Kai’s face, clenched in pain, one hand extending out to you.

....Sorry: @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 20

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk. Additional warning for this one in particular, it's got some smut adjacent romance in it.

Word Count: 3.5K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Night seemed to pass quickly, and it felt as though you had just closed your eyes when they opened again. You tried to orient yourself to the unfamiliar wooden wall in front of you. Stretching slightly, your movements caused Kai to grumble and bury his face deeper into the pillow, one arm stretched lazily over you, tightening you into him.

You heard Kai’s father’s bed creak, followed by the thud of his feet hitting the floor before he rose and quietly opened and closed the door of the room. You flipped onto your side to look at Kai, or more accurately, the side of his head, which was thoroughly tousled from his night of sleep. “We need to get up,” you whispered, running your hand down the side of his face. Kai merely grumbled, pulling the blanket up higher around his chin. You sat up, inching your way to the end of the bed and tugging on your pants before rising to your feet. The wood was cold beneath your toes as you stretched.

You pulled on the wool sweater you had lying around and the socks you had shoved into the side of the bed during the night, brushing your fingers through your hair, trying to comb out the knots. All the while, you snuck glances at Kai, who lay in bed face down, his breath rising and falling softly. As you braided your locks and tossed them over your shoulder, you’d had enough of sleeping beauty. You grabbed the corners of the blankets near the end and, with a mighty heave, ripped the warmth from Kai, who immediately curled into himself, wearing nothing but his undergarments and undershirt. He groaned, “No,” as he tried to shield himself from the cold.

You smiled, chuckling slightly at how much he sounded like a child, and dropped the blanket to the ground. Walking to the side of the bed, you leaned over him, resting your hands on his arms as you shook him. “Get up!” Kai merely moaned in response. “I’m hungry!” You continued to shake him until Kai opened one of his eyes, glancing up at you with a scowl.

“My head hurts like a bitch,” he said, shutting his eyes again.

You let go of his arm, huffing slightly as you settled into the armchair, pulling on your boots and lacing them. “Do you remember last night when you came in and insisted that you hadn’t had too much to drink?”

Kai sat up slightly, his face a bit pale as he rubbed his eyes with the base of his palms. “Mildly,” he responded.

You clapped your hands on your thighs as you rose, walking over to him again. He looked up at your face, squinting in the dimly lit room. “Do you remember trying to go to sleep in your coat?”

Kai’s brows furrowed slightly. “Not at all,” he replied.

You laughed, pressing your shins into the mattress as you leaned forward, your face close to Kai’s as you pressed a kiss to his forehead. He smiled, his eyes shut as he wrapped his arms around your waist, the side of his face resting against your stomach as you ran your hands through his wavy hair. You pressed another kiss to the crown of his head as he loosened his grip on your waist. “I need to get up,” he said. “Dad’ll skin me if we’re late setting up.”

As though summoned by the mention of his name, Kai’s father appeared back in the room, dressed for the day. For the first time since you’d known him, it looked as though he’d washed his face and brushed his hair. He flashed you a smile before telling you and Kai that he would be heading down to the stable to get the cart and that you should meet him at the stand within the next half hour. Kai, hopping on one foot while trying to force the other into his pants, agreed, and his father turned and left. As soon as the door shut, Kai lost his balance, falling to the floor with a thunk as you laughed at him. He looked up at you through his hair. “Stop laughing, I’m ill!” he joked.

You picked up the blanket you had discarded at the end of the bed, throwing it back over the mattress. “I have no sympathy. You did it to yourself.”

Kai merely rolled his eyes as he stood. In just his undershirt and pants, you could still make out the faint muscles underneath it all. He wasn’t strikingly gorgeous, with his muddy brown hair and thin frame, but his smile and eyes caught your heart in your throat, and you felt a sense of pride walking alongside him, his hand wrapped in yours. Kai searched the floor for his discarded shirt, and as he did, you came from behind him and wrapped your arms around his midsection, nuzzling your nose into his shirt.

“Hi?” he asked, peering over his shoulder at you.

You smiled up at him. “Carry on,” you urged.

Kai continued bending down and standing up as he dug through his bag. Each time he did, your feet left the floor for a moment and dropped back down. After the third time, you realized he might have been doing it on purpose. You let out a light giggle, and then, without warning, Kai leaned so far forward his fingers grazed the ground as he arched his back, a playful growl emerging from his throat. You squeaked out a faint cry as your feet left the floor and dangled, your face pointing toward the ground as Kai laughed. “Put me down! Put me down!” you yelled, “I’m serious, Kai!” although your serious tone was masked with laughter.

Kai pushed his hands up to your hips as he leaned farther forward, throwing you from his back so you flipped over top of him and onto the bed, a fit of laughter erupting from you as you smacked down onto the mattress. Kai quickly hopped onto the bed next to you, straddling you under his hips as you giggled out, his weight pushing the air from your stomach as you laughed. Kai’s smile peered down at you as you settled. “We have to go!” you urged.

“I have a beautiful female pinned underneath me. I think I can stay here for a few minutes,” he smiled back at you, and you rolled your eyes.

“Wouldn't you rather get some breakfast instead?” you teased.

Kai pretended to ponder the question, tapping his chin thoughtfully. “Hmm, beautiful female or food… It’s a tough choice.”

You smacked his shoulder playfully. “Food, obviously.”

Kai leaned in, his lips meeting yours in a gentle, lingering kiss. His mouth carried a faint taste of cranberry and icing sugar, inviting and comforting against yours. As you responded, he braced himself with his arms on either side of your shoulders, his chest pressing against yours. Your arms lazily wrapped around him, pulling him closer as he peppered your cheek and neck with small kisses.

A rosy warmth spread through you, cheeks flushing with contentment as you melted into his touch. Kai's faint moan resonated against your skin as he delicately traced your collarbone with his lips, eliciting a gasp from deep within you. His weight pressed into you, his arms bending to explore, one hand trailing down your side, fingertips teasing your hips.

His touch sent shivers down your spine, goosebumps rising on your skin in the chilly morning air. His fingers ventured beneath your clothing, tracing patterns against your skin as he returned his kisses to your mouth. But your focus wavered as he traced higher, barely grazing the soft flesh of your rib cage, pausing just below your breast.

With a slow, deliberate movement, he curled his hand around your ribs, his fingers flexing against your back as you yearned for more. A whimper escaped your lips, earning a smile and a soft laugh from Kai as he continued his exploration. His warm hand slid under your undergarments, pressing against your breast as he kneaded the soft flesh beneath his palm.

You couldn't help but moan in response, the sensation sending waves of pleasure through you. It was the first time he had touched you this intimately, after months of restraint, and you melted into the newfound feeling blooming in your core. Your kiss deepened, fingers gripping into his shirt and hair as he continued to explore, teasing your nipple with a gentle pinch that caused your legs to instinctively curl around him. 

Without hesitation, your fingers trailed along the hem of Kai's undershirt, gradually pulling it free from his pants. As the fabric lifted, exposing the smooth skin of his lower back, you reached around to the front, your hand finding Kai's growing arousal. An almost primal growl escaped him, and you glanced up to find him hovering above you, lips parted in anticipation as you stroked him.

"F-fuck," he breathed out, his grip on your breast tightening momentarily before he refocused, his fingers kneading circles as you continued your ministrations. He sucked his lower lip between his teeth before leaning back down to claim your lips in a hungry kiss.

Your palm pressed firmly against him as Kai's touch grew more commanding, trailing from your breast down your stomach to your waist. With a sense of urgency, he untied the front of your pants, both of you shifting to create more space. His hand moved swiftly, slipping under the outer clothing and over your underwear, a soft moan escaping him at the wetness already pooling between your thighs.

In response, you echoed his pleasure-laden moan, feeling his cock twitch slightly against your touch, as though he was already on the brink just from the warmth of your core. His fingers grinding into the wetness, exploring as he continued to kiss you, the once precise kisses now becoming sloppy and forgotten as you both reveled in the intoxicating sensation of each other's gentle caresses. 

Just as your hand hovered near the knot of his trousers, you both froze at the sound of the bell outside, tolling six times. With a sigh of resignation, Kai's eyes opened, his head dropping onto your chest. "We really need to go," he whispered.

Reluctantly, you withdrew your hand as Kai rolled off you, a playful smile flickering across his lips as he retrieved his shirt, adjusting his attire while you straightened out your clothes and tousled hair. Slipping on your coat, you headed for the door, Kai quickly following suit, hopping into his boots.

With one hand on the doorknob, Kai turned you around, his grip on your shoulder guiding you until your back met the door with a soft thud. He kissed you deeply, an intensity and hunger sparking between you that hadn't been felt in a long while. When he pulled back, your eyes fluttered open.

"We aren't done here," he murmured, his voice filled with promise. "Just hold on to that feeling."

You playfully bit your lip. "It's going to make this day so much more challenging now," you teased, your hand trailing down to his pants again, eliciting a soft moan from Kai.

Just as he leaned in for another kiss, you swung open the door, causing Kai to stumble forward with a shout. Laughter bubbled up from within you as he regained his balance, shooting you a playful glare. "You know what? Scratch that. Forget I said anything. I just want to be friends," he joked.

Wiping tears from your eyes and finally standing after doubling over in laughter, you were met with Kai's adoring gaze. Softly, you kissed his cheek, intertwining your fingers with his as you descended the stairs of the inn and stepped out into the crisp morning air of the Winter Solstice Market.

________________________________________________________

As Velaris slowly awoke to the holiday cheer, vendors bustled to and fro, preparing their stands for the influx of last-minute shoppers. You and Kai made your way toward the booth, stopping at a bakery just raising its curtains to buy a cup of tea for the two of you to share and a cranberry croissant, which Kai let you have most of. When you finally arrived at the booth, his father was already unloading the carvings and placing them on the table. Kai immediately jumped in to help, while you stood back, watching the two of them. This was a routine for them—twice a year, every year, for the last hundred and twenty years. You were content to stand back and watch as Kai silently handed his father the carvings.

The booth was filled with all sorts of handmade items: animals, landscapes, bowls, spoons, forks, cutting boards, all crafted throughout the year whenever his father had spare time and lumber. They were beautiful and delicate, a stark contrast to the hands of the lumber workers, which were often calloused, cut, and large. These carvings required patience and the fine movements of a skilled craftsman. By the time they were finished unloading, most of the market had been set up. You took a few moments to stroll between booths, investigating what other vendors were selling. Some sold rare stones and gems, others paintings, drawings, or pottery, and some sold herbal medicines found only in other Courts, while others offered homemade pastries or pastas.

Everyone seemed to know each other, as the same vendors had been coming here for centuries, much like Kai’s family. Kai wasted no time in introducing you to each and every person. They fawned over you as Kai held your hand, swooning over how adorable the two of you were together and expressing their happiness to see Kai finally with someone. Kai’s father, ever the stoic introvert, stuck to the stand, chatting with a few other burly men about this or that. Meanwhile, you and Kai were out socializing. Kai took much more after his mother, always making time to chat with those around him, always with a compliment, and seeming to know the more intimate details of their lives, checking in about elderly relatives or asking after children.

When the clock tower finally rang out, announcing it was nine in the morning, Kai brought you back to the stand and informed you that you would be helping with transactions, writing down profits, and recording trades if there was a barter. With a wink, he also added, “Plus, you’re good advertising.” You rolled your eyes at that statement.

As fae from all walks of life rolled into the market in their solstice best, you couldn’t help but track the mothers walking hand in hand with their children, who pointed in awe at the many sights and sounds before them. Fathers hoisted their children onto their shoulders to get them out of the crush of people, and small babes wrapped in swaddling blankets cooed and babbled over their mothers' adoring faces. You tried to picture yourself here as a child, though no memory arose from it.

A small girl approached the stand, barely able to peek over the edge of the table as she surveyed the carvings. Her curly brown hair was pulled back with a dark red headband, exposing her delicate alabaster skin and rosy cheeks. You smiled down at her as she looked at the items.

“Mama, Mama, look!” the little girl cried out. Her mother, with a babe strapped to her chest, approached from the neighboring booth. The girl's mother looked much like her, with the same curly hair, though her face was slightly more angular. She placed one hand delicately on the back of the babe’s head, which was covered in a dark red hat. “What do you see, darling?”

“It’s a horsey!” the little girl pointed. It was indeed a carving of one of the lumber horses, mid-gait.

“It is!” The mother’s voice was light and excited as she looked to you and smiled. “It’s a big horse.”

“I wanna play with it,” the little girl reached forwards for the statue, and her mother gently pulled her back, crouching down so her forest green dress and matching coat swayed just above the ground.

“No, no, honey,” she said softly, “These aren’t toys. These are very fragile.”

The little girl’s face dropped slightly as she looked to her mother, her large blue eyes seeming to grow wider. “But... but I have horses at home.”

The mother nodded, the babe fussing slightly as she ran her hand down their back to soothe them. “I know, but those are toy horses. Those ones don’t break, and if you play with these too much they might.” The little girl looked back at the statue on the table and then back to her mother. “So we can look at this horse, but we can’t play with it.”

The little girl frowned, gazing longingly at the horse.

Seeming to overhear the interaction, Kai moved in next to you and glanced between the horse and the girl. He placed his hand on your lower back to scoot you forward as he crossed behind you, grabbing the horse on the way and coming out to the front of the booth. He crouched down next to the girl, who shied slightly away from him.

“You know,” Kai said gently, “your mom is right, a lot of these things are really fragile.” The little girl scanned his face. “But this horse is very strong.” He seemed to weigh it in his hand. “My dad made this to look like my horse, Ingrid, who’s really big and super strong.” The little girl took a tentative step towards him. “So I think,” Kai continued, “that if you just play with her a little more carefully, she could be a good addition to your herd.” Kai smiled at her and handed her the horse.

The little girl beamed in delight as she took it from him, turning back to her mother, who gave Kai a soft, appreciative smile. “How much do I owe you?” she asked as the little girl squeezed the horse to her chest.

Kai stood, shaking his head and hand, “Nothing.”

The mother stopped, pulling her purse around from her side as she bounced the babe in the carrier, “No, I have to give you something.”

Kai slipped back behind the stall and just repeated, “Don’t worry about it. Consider it a solstice gift!”

The mother nodded and smiled, asking the little girl to thank him. She looked up at him, and with a grin revealing a missing front tooth, she said, “Thank you!” prolonging ‘you’, before her mother beckoned her to move on.

Kai continued to smile and waved them off before turning to you and saying, “Don’t tell my dad I did that.”

You looked over Kai’s shoulder to where his father was speaking with another craftsman, seemingly unaware of what took place. You simply crossed your fingers over your lips, feigning locking them, and chucked the imaginary key away. Kai chuckled, ruffling his tousled hair, and gave you a playful wink.

The market continued to bustle with life as more patrons wandered through the tight aisles. Sylvan even made his way through, stopping to chat with Kai about last night’s antics. He revealed that Kai had, in fact, had more drinks than he had ever seen him have before and that it took them an extra hour to get back to the inn because Kai kept going down the wrong streets. Sylvan took particular joy in telling you that the entire night, Kai only talked about you and how “pretty your hair was,” and how “nice your smile was.” Even as Kai tried to silence him, Sylvan noted that Kai seemed particularly interested in how nice and white your teeth were, which made you blush. Kai merely beckoned Sylvan to go find someone else to bother. His father shook his head and rolled his eyes.

The booth was doing so well, in fact, that Kai’s father asked you to return to the stable to grab the rest of the boxes of figures from the cart and bring them back to finish out the day. You hurriedly made your way down towards the entrance of the city, pushing open the door of the barn and pulling boxes off the cart, even stopping to stroke Lila for a moment. You stacked the boxes on top of one another and headed back out the door, pushing it open with your back.

Suddenly, you heard a familiar voice. “Hello, my love.” The boxes fell from your grasp as you turned to see the imposing stature of your mate, his shadow towering over you and sending a freezing cold chill down your spine.

The world seemed to narrow to just the two of you. His piercing gaze locked onto you, and the barn's light seemed to dim as though the very air grew colder with his presence. Your heart pounded in your chest, a mix of fear and disbelief rendering you speechless. The warm, bustling market felt a million miles away as you faced the reality you had been running from.

To my readers - Sorry. @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 19

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 1.5K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

It must have been close to one in the morning when you finally left Titania’s. She stood in the doorway of the brothel, wrapping her skinny arms around herself as she waved you off down the cobblestone pathway back into the heart of the city. Your mind raced with memories, trying to piece together what belonged to Titania and what belonged to your mother. You had asked Titania if she had any photographs or paintings of your mother, but she had told you that when your mother left, she requested that all photos and reminders of her life in the city be burned. She feared someone would be looking for them and that keeping them would put everyone at risk. Titania had agreed and burned any photos of both you and your mother, save for one small drawing of you, done during the solstice, that she kept in a locked jewelry box. She had shown it to you, your eyes tracing the lines of your childhood face, and you were struck by how thin you looked. Titania had shared that this drawing had been done at the end of one of the bouts of sickness that had plagued you as a child, during which you had dropped a significant amount of weight. Yet, she had told you, you refused to stay in bed, always jumping out when no one was looking to play with the other children in the street. Titania had offered you the drawing, but after seeing the look of love on her face, you asked her to keep it.

You had invited Titania to come see you at the market the next day. Initially hesitant, giving excuses about needing to be around for clients, she seemed more willing when you mentioned Kai and your desire for her to meet him. 

Returning to the inn that night, you crawled into the soft bed across from where Kai’s father slept, curled up against the wall to avoid the draft, and drifted off to sleep.

______________________________________________________

For the first time in weeks, you dreamt, though it wasn’t a nightmare. Your dream unfolded as though you were walking through the streets of Velaris, your vision bobbing up and down with each step, an unknown gait guiding your movements. Musicians played haunting melodies that echoed through the night, and the lingering scent of pastries from earlier in the evening wafted through the air. You felt the winter night’s cold bite at the back of your neck, sharp and unsettling.

It seemed as though you were searching for someone or something, your gaze shifting back and forth, panning through the crowd. The people around you appeared much shorter, their faces blurred and indistinct. Wandering along the cobblestone wall of the Sidra, the same place where you and Kai had stood earlier when Sylvan approached, you felt an inexplicable warmth in your hands as you slid them into your pockets. 

You paused, turning to look out at the river. The moonlight glinted off the water, casting an eerie glow as snow fell softly around you. It was peculiar, as though you were reliving the evening, but this time, Kai wasn’t with you. A sense of unease settled over you, the kind that prickled at the edges of your consciousness without revealing its source. 

Nothing particularly exciting happened; you simply wandered through the crowd, seemingly searching for something or someone elusive. As you made your way through the streets, you passed the inn where you were staying. Looking up, you seemed to stare directly at the window of your room, a chill running down your spine. The scene was familiar yet distorted, and an inexplicable sense of dread began to creep in, leaving you with the unsettling feeling that something was watching you, just out of sight.

______________________________________________________

With a jolt, you opened your eyes to the sound of the room door shutting softly. You shifted to look up, seeing Kai at the foot of the bed, unlacing his boots, leaning slightly too far forwards and having to catch himself on the footboard. He smiled at you. “Hi,” he whispered, his voice a warm, soft note in the quiet room.

You sent him a soft smile back, laying your head back down onto the pillow. You listened as Kai stripped off some of his clothes, throwing them over the back of the armchair with a thudding flop. His father didn’t even stir in his sleep as Kai pulled back the sheets of the bed. The cold draft hit you before Kai settled in, his strong, thin frame curling around yours, his knees finding their place behind yours. You lifted your head slightly to allow his arm to rest beneath it as he leaned in and took a deep breath of your scent, letting out a satisfied sigh. You turned your head to look at him. Kai gave you a sleepy smile, and you flipped entirely to face him. His eyes were shut, but you looked at his serene face, pulling your hands to your chest. Kai wrapped a long arm around your shoulders, your leg resting on his thigh.

“Have a nice time?” you whispered.

“Mm,” Kai responded in agreement, his eyebrows raising slightly.

“Tired?”

“Mhm,” Kai groaned. As he let out a sigh, you smelled the potent waft of mulled wine on his breath and smiled lightly.

“Drunk?” you asked.

Kai opened one eye and peered down at you, a mischievous glint in his gaze. “No?” He asked more than told you.

You giggled slightly. “I can smell it on your breath.”

Kai closed his eye again and nuzzled his chin to the crown of your head. “Your nose is playing tricks on you. I am entirely in my right mind.”

You pressed your nose to his chest. “You sure about that?”

“Never been more sure about anything in my life.”

“Really?” you asked incredulously.

“How dare you question me and my faculties,” he joked, his voice laced with exhaustion and mock indignation.

You giggled again. “So taking off your pants but leaving your coat on in bed is just a fashion choice?”

Kai shifted slightly, looking down at his torso, which was indeed still encased in his jacket. You pulled back, trying to rein in your smile and laugh, which came out as a snort instead.

Kai looked at you, his gaze a little glazed over with alcohol. He slurred slightly, “It’s because I’m cold.” He sat up and began unzipping it. “And now, I’m taking it off because I’m too warm. Not because I didn’t mean to keep it on.”

You nodded, another snort escaping your nose. “Sure, Kai.”

Once he had undone his jacket, he whipped it off his body and onto the floor, laying back down on his side and reaching out to you, his hands grabbing into the air with no purpose. “Come here. Warm me up,” he begged, his voice taking on a pitiful tone.

“Just put your coat back on,” you joked.

Kai feigned a dramatic frown, wrapping his arms around his body and pretending to shiver, making you roll your eyes as you lay back down next to him. He let out a murmur of happiness, his chest vibrating against your own as he cuddled closer. “I’m freezing,” he mumbled.

“You’re ridiculous,” you replied, trying to suppress a laugh.

He nestled his face into your neck, his breath warm and ticklish against your skin. “Ridiculously cold,” he agreed, his tone playful.

You raised your head to look at him, brushing a strand of hair from his forehead. “You know, you’re not very convincing.”

Kai’s voice was edged with amusement “I convinced you to keep me around.”

“I can change my mind at any time,” you teased, but your smile gave you away.

Kai tightened his embrace, his voice dropping to a tender whisper. “I know, but you like me too much to do that.”

Your heart swelled at his words, and you pressed a gentle kiss to his forehead. “I know.”

He grinned, his eyes fluttering shut. “Good. Now let’s get some sleep. I need to be well-rested to survive the freezing landscape of the city tomorrow.”

You chuckled, feeling a warmth spread through your chest that had nothing to do with the temperature. “Goodnight, Kai.”

“Goodnight,” he murmured, his voice already fading into the soft rhythm of sleep. 

You considered telling him about Titania, your mother, and all the history you had uncovered while he was out with friends, but as you opened your mouth to speak, you heard his soft snores and just smiled. It could wait.

Kai was always like this—protective and caring, even in his most inebriated state. His warmth enveloped you, and despite the cold draft from the window, you felt an undeniable sense of comfort and safety. You felt his steady breathing against your back, and his arm tightened around you slightly, as if even in his sleep, he wanted to ensure you were safe and close.

For the first time in a long while, you felt a semblance of peace. The world outside was filled with uncertainties and pain, but here, in Kai’s arms, you found a small refuge. You allowed yourself to melt into his embrace, the knot in your stomach untying itself with each passing moment. 

Tomorrow, you will face everything again—Titania, your mother’s memories, and the painful revelations. But tonight, in the warmth of Kai’s presence, you let yourself rest. 

To the readers, I'm screaming, crying, throwing up at what's coming.

@thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 18

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 5.5K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

While you told Kai you would be going back to the inn, you didn’t feel fully comfortable entering a room where his father might still be awake, unsure how to navigate the awkward silence. Instead of heading straight back, you let yourself meander through the streets, the cold nipping at your nose, turning it a bright red as you sniffled lightly. You smiled politely at the well-dressed females wandering alongside you, their coats lined with furs and shoes polished for winter. Your own attire was more than a little worn, with a practical jacket far from fashionable but essential for survival.

As you made your way down the paths, past the baker’s square and through the arts district, where peddlers sold art worth more than everything you owned, you observed the chic, modern clothing hanging low on mannequins in fashion halls, with females of all ages drooling over the craftwork. Gradually, you found yourself wandering closer to the outskirts of the city, where things began to look familiar. The music of the city faded into the background, and wreaths became less grand, more hastily strung together with bits of wire but festive nonetheless. The streets were more iced over, clearly not as well-maintained as the inner parts of the city. Snow, scraped to the side, was dirtied and blackened from the roadway, piled high and unmelted by the afternoon sun. Your boots slapped into the slush, kicking up bits of snow onto your pants as you huddled closer into yourself. Clotheslines strung above cut through the fae light, casting long shadows.

You knew this place—the faded green awnings, now with more holes, but recognizable nonetheless. The wrought iron stairs with handrails frozen over, icicles trickling down from them, were just as familiar. You squinted down the alley where the faelight shone in small patches. Somehow, this felt much more recognizable than the squares and inner city where you and Kai had strolled. It perturbed you how little you remembered of those places, yet here, memories flooded back.

You remembered chasing bouncing balls down the street gutters as other fae yelled at you to get out of the road, the rabble of children laughing without care. You recalled sitting on the stoop of the now-closed and boarded-up café with your mother, sharing a sandwich. In your memories, this place always seemed brighter, more lively. Now, a gloom settled over the visions. Your mother, still slightly blurred, appeared skinnier, her wrists and ankles bony. The roadways, which you imagined as clean cobblestone, were now filled with more debris and waste. The rose-colored glasses of your childhood were giving way as you made the long trek down the last alley.

Windows were gated over, with faded lights scraping their way through the grime. From a few streets over, you heard a man and a woman laughing—a maniacal, crazed sound. You turned at what sounded like footsteps behind you but realized it was only snow falling from the patchwork metal roof above. Every hair on your body stood on end as the light seemed to be sucked from every shadow. The sound of your boots on the ground was the only noise besides the dripping water and the subtle murmurs of those inside their homes.

As you reached the end of the alley, the faded green door, now more brown than green, came into view, illuminated by the small flickering fae light above it. The knocker, which you remembered so vividly, now tarnished more than you recalled, stood before you. Letting out a slow breath, you watched it curl into the shadows. The knocker, a fae female with nothing more than a piece of cloth draped around her body, her curves accentuated as she smiled slyly, held the knocker below. As a child, you thought she was beautiful, often standing in the doorway just looking at her, the knocker slowly swinging in the breeze. Now, her face was more tarnished, the wood below splintered and peeling. You read the sign to the right of the door: “Titania’s Temptations & Pleasure House.”

Your heart stopped. You remembered Titania, a boisterous older woman who often took you and the other children living in the apartment on evening walks, offering candies and sweets as some of the children cried for their mothers. Titania, who your mother always referred to as Madame. Titania, who had been there for your first steps when your mother was working. Titania, who had tried to keep you and your mother from leaving, begging her to stay. It couldn’t be the same.

But it was. Your breath caught as you tried to parse through the memories. So much of your time in Velaris was spent with your mother—days and days of memories that now seemed untrustworthy. You looked back down the street, recalling how children ran about playing while their mothers and a few odd fae males sat on stoops. You always thought they enjoyed watching the children play, cheering you on in games. Now, you more clearly recalled their gaunt faces, purpled under their eyes from lack of sleep. Many were thin, wearing not much more than their undergarments as they lounged in the sun. Occasionally, a fae would come down the street, and all the children would run up, begging for sweets or coins to spend in markets, surprising the fae with their requests. Titania would holler from the upstairs windows to stop pestering them. Then, with eyes cast down, the fae would knock on Titania’s door, be let in, and leave a short while later with a rosy glint on their cheeks.

You continued to recall memories. During the day, the children weren’t allowed inside the house, and at night, you all slept in quarters with your mothers, or those who could be there. The pieces slowly came together. Your mother was never around at night, only during the day, except on odd days when she had work. When you finally asked her, she told you she washed laundry. And you, being only a child, with memories laced with lies, believed her.

Your eyes filled with hot tears as you stood on the doorstep, a sob choking through your body as you tried to shake the awful feeling rising inside. Your mother worked in a pleasure house. You were raised in a pleasure house. All your memories circled around this place where your mother sold her body. 

You shook your head, sniffling as you stared at the door knocker, now more hideous than melancholic. Why had you done this? Why did you come back here?

Turning, you descended the steps, slipping on the ice and falling hard on your tailbone, causing a sharp hiss to escape your lips as you sat, tears flowing down your face. 

You sat in the dirty snow, a few echoing sobs escaping your lips. The faint tolling of a bell sounded in the distance, eleven gongs before it subsided. Moments later, the door of the pleasure house creaked open, and out descended various fae, both male and female, none of them looking at each other as they pulled their clothing tighter around their bodies. They walked past you without a glance as you wiped the tears from your eyes.

A familiar voice behind you made you turn. Standing in the doorway was a gaunt, bony fae woman with pale, almost yellowed skin. Her hair was an unnatural, bright red, and she lounged leisurely in the doorway, wearing nothing more than a bright red silk nightgown that barely skirted past her hips. Her nails, matching the vivid red of her hair, tapped idly against the doorframe as she spoke to a male fae whose face was obscured by the collar of his jacket.

“This ain’t no charity,” she hissed. “You don’t pay, you don’t play.”

The male fae whispered back, covering his mouth, “I can get you the payment by next week.”

The woman traced a long line up the center of the male's chest with her elongated, cat-like nail. “Now you listen to me. In my eyes, you’ve already stolen from me and one of my ladies. I expect not only repayment but double. If you run off, I’ll have no problem sending someone to find you in whatever hole you’ve crawled into.” She flicked his nose with the tip of her finger. “Understand me, my love?”

The fae male nodded and walked down the steps.

“Oy, you,” the gravelly-voiced woman called out to you. You turned to her. “This ain’t public property. Get your dirty ass off my stoop.”

You quickly stood, wiping the tears from your eyes and the grime from your rear as you took a few steps forward.

You heard the door creak slightly as the woman went to close it. Without thinking, you rushed up the stairs, shoving your arm between the door and its frame. “Wait!” you called out.

The woman whipped her head around toward you as she shut the door. “Are you stupid?” she hissed. “Get the fuck out of here.” She grabbed your hand, her bony fingers pressing into your own as she pushed your arm out.

“Wait, please!” you pleaded as the door slammed in your face. You pounded one fist on it. You heard the multiple locks clicking into place as you cried out, “I’m here about Sile!”

The locks paused on the other side of the door. Then they unlocked, and the door opened slightly, held by a chain. The woman with the red hair peered out at you. “What about her?”

Panting slightly, your breath visible in the light of the hall behind the woman, you said, “I’m her daughter.”

The woman surveyed your face and then, seemingly in recognition, gasped slightly. “Y/N,” she said more than asked.

“Yes.”

The woman shut the door, unchained it, and opened it fully, peering over your shoulder slightly before beckoning you inside. “Come in, come on, you’ll be letting the draft in.” You stepped past her and, as though you had just come in from playing, wiped your feet on the mat underneath you.

“I should’ve known it was you, with that mess of hair!” the woman said as she took you in. She gripped you by your shoulders, holding you at arm's length as she surveyed you. “You look just like your mother.” She ran her hands down the length of your arms before throwing you a smile. Although her face seemed aged with time, her eyes still held a lightness that you remembered from so many years ago.

You smiled back at her. “It’s good to see you, Titania.”

Titania pulled you close and wrapped her arms around you. Awkwardly, you wrapped your own around her small, bony frame. “You too, my love,” she said, pressing a red-lipsticked kiss onto your cheek, which you knew would leave a stain. “Where’ve you been?” she asked, turning you to take your coat off your back before hanging it on the hall rack. “Come on, let’s get us some tea.” She gestured down the hallway, and you followed her, taking in the sights and sounds of your childhood.

The carpet on the floor, once a place where you lay staring at the wallpapered ceiling with its patterns of overlapping branches, now showed stains on its red cloth, and the ceiling’s paint was peeling. The walls were lined with photos of the women who worked in the house. Some you recognized, while others were unfamiliar. You looked for a photo of your mother but couldn’t find her face among the many.

You followed Titania into the small kitchen, which had not much more than an old woodstove with a few dirty pots and pans on its top, and a sink with a dripping faucet. The familiar cadence of the dripping water brought back memories of playing with dolls under the table your mother had made for you from sticks and weeds. Titania beckoned you to sit at the kitchen table, which you did, the chairs now fitting your body instead of forcing you to climb up them as you did years ago.

Titania filled the kettle as the faucet rattled water out of its spout, then placed it on the stove before coming to sit across from you at the table. Her brown eyes scanned over your face. “I never would have thought I’d see you again,” she said.

You smiled lightly. “I thought the same.”

“Why are you here?” she asked, reaching her hand out to take the one you had placed leisurely on the table.

“I’m here for the festival.”

Titania leaned back in her chair, casually tossing one skinny leg over the other. Her red nightgown barely concealed anything as she propped her elbow over the back of the chair, perching her face on her spiked nails. “Oh, so we’re just in town to visit?”

“I’m here with a friend,” you responded.

“I always wondered what happened to you,” Titania said distantly, looking intently at you.

“It’s been a few years.”

“I’d wager more than a century,” she shot back.

You nodded as the kettle started to whistle. Titania jumped up to pull the pot off, then took out two teacups, both chipped in various places, and placed them on the table, pouring the steaming liquid into each. “So,” she started as she placed the kettle down and resettled into the chair, “fill me in.”

You picked up the cup, feeling the heat push through the thin porcelain, and traced your finger around the lip. “What do you want to know?”

Titania scoffed. “Well, my love, you’re the one who’s been gone. I ain’t seen you since you came to my knee.”

“I’ve been in the mountains.”

“I could’ve figured as much,” Titania responded. “And you’ve just now decided to come pay your old lady a visit?”

“I didn’t know how to get back,” you replied, pulling the cup to your lips and taking a sip. The heat singed your flesh, and you pulled it away quickly.

Titania chuckled. “You ain’t got enough sense to ask for directions?”

“Mama told me we couldn’t come back.”

Titania rolled her eyes. “Your mother was a fool.”

You looked at her, scanning her face, which held a displeased look. “What happened?” you asked.

“With what?”

“Mama, me?”

Titania leaned forward, her gown falling open to reveal her incredibly pronounced collarbones. “What do you know?”

You shook your head lightly. “Only that she packed us up and moved us out. She told me we couldn’t come back.”

Titania nodded. “And your mother, where’s she now?”

You looked around the room. “I was hoping here.”

Titania tilted her head slightly. “You thought she was here?”

“She told me she was going back to the city. A long time ago. And then she never came back.”

Her face fell. “Oh, my love, I’m sorry. If she came back, she didn’t come here.”

You nodded, not surprised. It would have been too easy to find her here, if she was anywhere. “The last I saw of my mother was when she was leaving with me that morning.”

You let your hands cup around the warmth of the tea, looking down into the swirling browns as you asked, “Why did she leave?”

Titania shrugged, leaning back. “I don’t know. I tried to stop her, but she insisted on leaving.” She tsked, “You were so sad, cried like you’d wake the whole city when she pulled you down those steps.”

You furrowed your brow. “I don’t remember that.”

Titania nodded. “Oh for sure, you were sobbing, throwing a fit, begging for her not to take you from Gramma Nia.” Titania picked at her nails.

You shook your head. “I remember leaving and feeling excited.” Was your memory wrong?

“I can’t tell you what happened once you were down the street. But when I last saw you, those tears were as big as dewdrops.”

“And she didn’t say anything about why she had to leave?”

Titania sniffed lightly, pulling her teacup to her lips and leaving a red stain on the edge as she cleared her throat. “Your mother was a very paranoid female, always looking over her shoulder and jumping at shadows. As long as I knew her. She just kept saying it wasn’t safe to stay here.” You just peered into the cup in your hands. “You used to love it here.” Titania smiled lightly. “You’d run around the halls, singing those little songs you’d make up. I can’t tell you how many times I had to tell you to get out of the street because you were getting into other people’s garbage. You were always my little adventurer.”

You smiled. “I remember that yellow ball we had that we used to lose in the sewer gutter.”

Titania guffawed. “Oh yeah, and you’d send one of the little boys down the grate to get it back. They’d be smelling like shit for days after, but they couldn’t say no to you, or you’d wallop them.” You laughed lightly with her. “You loved that little ball, told me it was the best birthday gift you’d ever gotten.” Titania sniffled through a laugh. “Do you remember that little girl, Wren?” You shook your head no. “She was pretty little when you were around, but she would follow you around like a little puppy. You used to get so annoyed at her touching your toys you’d come running into the sitting room screaming bloody murder, ‘Gamma Nia, Wren touched my stuff!’ and then I’d go out and find little Wren with her hand in her mouth just smiling.”

You smiled. “I think I remember her now. She had that little rag doll she carried everywhere.”

Titania nodded. “That’s right! She was a sweet kid, always wanted to be just like you. You were her hero.”

The room felt warmer with the shared memories, the nostalgic laughter easing some of the tension.

You looked puzzled, “What-what do you mean?” 

Titania looked up to you through her turned down eyes, “I just-those memories, those were things we did together.” 

“You were always playing some game. And you’d rightly piss off the other children by changing the rules or bossing them around, even some of the older ones.” Titania ran her thumb over the stain on her cup. “I always told Sile that you were gonna grow up and run this place someday.” She laughed a bit louder. “I remember you used to play High Lady. You’d put on one of your mother’s entertaining gowns and shoes, and you’d go clomping down the hall ordering everyone to move out of your way.” Her laughter grew. “And then you made me take you down to our bakery so you could show off to Henri.”

You looked up at her. “Our bakery?”

Titania’s eyes shone with light. “Yeah, the little bakery on the corner. I’d take you every morning for a cuppa and a scone.”

You swallowed. You had always remembered your mother taking you.

“And Henri just loved you. He’d always tell you that you were the finest lady in all of Velaris, and you’d twirl for him in those heels.” Titania seemed lost in the memory.

“It sounds like we had a lot of fun.” You tried to smile at her.

Titania’s lips curled slightly at the corners, the smear of her lipstick much more defined. “I tried to keep you busy. Especially since you had no manners in knocking before barging through doors. Can’t tell you how furious I used to get when you’d interrupt a client and lady.”

You chuckled lightly, trying to pull any of those memories from your mind. “I wish I could remember that.”

“What do you remember?” Titania asked, leaning onto the table slightly.

You thought through the memories. “I remember walking along the river with Mama. I remember playing in the squares, and I remember the trips she would take me on into the mountains.” You laughed lightly. “I remember that when the summer storms would roll through, I would hide under the bed. And if it was night, I’d wake up and cuddle into Mama.” You looked up at Titania, whose face had hardened slightly, her brow furrowed. “What?”

Titania shook her head out of whatever trance she seemed to be in, relaxing her face. “Oh, no, nothing.” Then she smiled.

You looked at her intently. “What are you thinking about?”

Titania threw her hands up. “What are you talking about? Nothing. I was thinking about the memories.”

“Yeah,” you started, gesturing to her, “but you made a face.”

Titania made a tight-lipped smile and looked down at her cup. “Sometimes, the memories aren’t always as sweet as we think.”

You shook your head lightly. “No, no, Mama and I did those things together.”

Titania licked her lips lightly, smearing the lipstick more. “No, my love. We did those things, except the trips to the woods.”

You shook your head more. “That can’t be right.”

Titania sighed, leaning forward once more and grasping your hands in hers. “My love,” she started, “your mother was a very troubled woman.” Your face fell, brows furrowing as you listened. “And she—she would fall into these spells, where she would just sort of lie around all day. I tried to get her up, get her back to work, but she just wouldn’t. So I’d send her out.” You shook your head lightly. “If she couldn’t work, she couldn’t stay; that was the rule. So I’d tell her to go out, get herself back up, and then come back when she was ready.”

You looked down at the table. “I remember her being around.” You looked up at Titania. “I remember her being around a lot.”

Titania threw you a small, sympathetic smile. “Whenever she was around, and she was,” she paused, “when she was on the right track, she would spend all the time with you she could, but she—she had problems.”

You felt a slight rising anger. “What kind of problems? She was sad? I mean, look where she was!”

Titania’s face hardened. “Watch your tone, my love.”

“No,” you cried out, “no, you would throw her out when she wasn’t ‘performing’ to your standards!”

“I would not!” Titania shot back, her fist pounding into the table, making the cups rattle. “Your mother was troubled.”

“You keep saying that, but you're not explaining what that means. What do you mean, troubled?” You glared at her.

Titania shook her head, looking down at the table. “Your mother—she,” Titania seemed to be searching for the words, “your mother relied on certain substances to feel normal. To be able to get out of bed.”

You looked at her, puzzled. “What do you mean, substances?”

Titania sighed. “Your mother, before I found her, was making some very dangerous choices, and she’d gotten in with a rather rough group of people. She was pretty reliant on Luster.”

“Luster?” You asked.

“You haven’t heard of it?”

You shook your head.

“You must have been really deep in the mountains.” Titania chuckled. “Luster is a euphoric. Fae that use it breathe it in as a shining powder to feel like they have some sort of spark in them. It’s cheap to buy and a lot of times is laced with other drugs to make it more potent. I’ve heard them say that they feel like there’s fire in their veins and that the world suddenly seems more colorful.”

“And it’s bad to use it?”

“Fae that use it, like your mother, and a lot of the fae that work in this area, for a long time, seem to not be able to be without it for long. If they go without it, they can go through Lusterburn, and they just sort of seem to be sleeping when they’re awake, or they become enraged, everyone seems to have a different response.”

“And you would throw my mother out for using it?”

Titania’s eyes hardened. “I’d make her leave when she used it around you.”

You leaned in. “Why would you do that?” Your brows furrow in confusion and anger.

Titania’s lips tightened slightly. “I don’t want to talk about this.” She leaned back.

Your face hardened as you commanded, “Tell me.”

Titania ran her tongue over her teeth as she gazed at you. Her leg bounced nervously under the table, and her heel clicked against the floor. “I don’t want to ruin the memories you have.”

“Apparently they’re all wrong anyway.” You responded quickly.

Titania sighed, her eyes softening. “Your mother was an addict, Y/N. She did things she wasn’t proud of, but she loved you. I didn’t want you to see her like that. I didn’t want you to see her when she was down, she’d just ignore you, or scream at you, and you’d cry for hours and she just- she wouldn’t care. That’s why I made her leave when she was using. I couldn’t bear to listen to you seem to lose all hope.”

You swallowed hard, processing the revelation. “So, all those times she left...”

“She was trying to get clean,” Titania finished for you. “She wanted to be the mother you deserved.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you realized the weight of your mother’s struggles. Titania reached out and took your hand, squeezing it gently. “She loved you more than anything, Y/N. Remember that.”

You shook your head, distraught, trying to sift through the memories that you had held so dear, that had kept you going on the darkest days. “She left me,” you whispered softly, to no one in particular. As the words left your lips, they cemented the uncertainty of years gone by, and you considered whether it would have been better to continue living in ignorance.

Titania squeezed your hand again, her eyes turning down to the table. “I’m sorry I don’t know more about what happened to her.”

Without looking at her, you just replied, in a soft whisper, “I don’t know if I want to know anymore.”

The fae across from you took a deep inhale and exhale, as though she had let something go finally, after holding it in for years and years. “She tried to do right by you, Y/N. You have to know she wanted better for you, and whenever she would go on these benders—when she would come down, she would just sob and beg you to forgive her. She really did try.”

“I wasn’t enough.”

“You were more than enough.”

You looked up through your lashes, now heavy with tears, as Titania looked down at you, her mouth fluctuating in discomfort as she tried to find words to make this better. “I wasn’t enough to make her stop. She didn’t choose me.”

“My love, we don’t know why she left you.”

You shook your head. “She didn’t come back either. Even when we were in the village, she would disappear for days, telling me she was going hunting, or to visit someone, or to go gather supplies.” You paused, “And yet, when she never came back with anything, I didn’t question her.”

Titania brushed her nail down your hand. “I know, my love.”

You looked up at her. “Why didn’t she leave me with you?”

Titania took her turn looking down, her heel still clipping on the floor. “Your mother didn’t want you to end up as a pleasure lady.”

You scoffed, “What? She didn’t want me to carry on the family business?”

Titania’s face shifted to one of slight anger. “She didn’t want you to make her mistakes.”

“But we had a good life here,” you cried, tears hitting the table in soft thuds.

“You survived,” Titania responded quickly. “I tried to keep you safe, to feed you, to educate you, but you were sick constantly. You had these fevers that would spike often, and the healers didn’t think it right to use their time and resources on you. But every night when you would lie there,” Titania stopped as if she could see you before her as a child, “you would shake with the chills, and your face would be red, and you wouldn’t speak, just smile at me. Smile like nothing was wrong. And you would ask for her, your mother. You wanted her with you to make you feel better.” Titania choked back a sob. “And when I would try to find her, between clients, to bring her to you, she would just tell me to do my best with you and that she would see you in the morning.”

You wondered if being so sick, combined with your youth, was why your memories seemed so cloudy.

Your lips quivered under the weight of the words that hung in the air like daggers. “Why didn’t you take me anywhere?”

“I tried. I tried to get your mother into a sanctuary, in the library, under the House of Wind,” she paused again, “but the females there didn’t want to take in anyone who might bring in Luster and tempt the others who hadn’t been using it. And I tried to get you to go, but you just wouldn’t. You wanted to stay with us.” She looked up at you. “I’m so sorry, my love.”

You let a sob leave your throat as it burned through you. Your head swam with confusion at everything you felt your life was and had become. You couldn’t seem to stop trying to find her, your mother, her face long since forgotten in your mind, replaced by shadows and blurs which you now thought looked more like Titania than her.

Titania looked at you, her eyes full of sorrow, the red of her lips merely more than a pink now. “She would be proud of you.”

You shook your head. “She would despise me.”

“Look at where you are. Look at who you have become.” Titania urged, her hand lifting yours off the table.

“I have become homeless. I’m mated to a male who hurt me and did things to me I can’t even force myself to think about. I ran from everything and everyone. I have nothing. I am nothing. I’m no better than her.” You shook your head.

“You are not your mother,” Titania whispered as your tears clouded over your sight.

“I don’t even know who that is.” Another sob escaped you, raw and guttural. “I’m so tired, Titania.” Your body convulsed with the force of your emotions, wracking out through coughs and sobs. “I’m so tired of running and hiding. I’m tired of being hurt and never fully healing. I just—” A fresh wave of grief surged, making you gag on the bile rising in your throat. “I’m tired of pretending like the world is anything but lies and pain.”

Titania’s voice was a fragile whisper, filled with sorrow and helplessness. “I know, my love.” Your face grew hotter and wetter, tears and snot mingling as your shoulders heaved with choppy, pain-stricken sobs. She watched you fall apart, unable to stop your anguish. “You are lost,” she finally said as your sobs turned silent, “You are lost, but you are not forgotten. And you may not know the way back, but you can’t stop trying to find it.”

“I’m so tired.” You lifted your gaze, meeting Titania’s tear-filled eyes, the kohl that lined them streaking in black drifts down her cheeks. “I’m so tired of searching for anything.”

Titania’s smile was small but filled with a fierce, enduring love. “You’re not alone, my love. Not anymore.” She squeezed your hand. “And while I won’t let you call this your home, I will always be a home for you.”

Your lip continued to quiver as you looked at her, this woman who you had forgotten but who had never stopped thinking about you. She sat across from you, so full of hope for your future, despite her own life being bleak. Her love and faith in you were palpable, a lifeline you hadn’t realized you needed.

You smiled lightly, a simple gesture that seemed to mean the world. Titania rose from her chair, dropping to her knees before you, wrapping her arms around your neck and back. She held you tight, and in that moment, you felt the promise of home. The sweet scent of peppermint, a fragment of a lost memory, washed over you. You thought of her, of Titania.

As you wrapped your arms around each other, Titania’s bony frame seemed fragile, almost breakable at your touch. “I’m not angry with what you do,” you whispered. Titania pulled back, looking at you with tear-filled eyes. “You take care of people. You offer them a home and hope.” Her lips began to quiver. “I don’t care what you or anyone else does for money. I care about what you do and have done for others, and I can’t thank you enough for what you did for me.”

Titania let another tear roll down her cheek, her gaze locked with yours. “I could have done so much more for you, my love,” she said, her voice breaking. She turned away, but you pulled her back.

“You did what you could.”

The two of you sat there for a few moments, looking into each other’s eyes, sharing a connection forged in survival. You were two survivors of a life neither of you had asked for, yet you had saved each other, drifting apart only to be brought back together by fate. In this moment, in this kitchen, you were alive and filled with hope, held together by memories that refused to fade.

To my readers, I promise this is still an Azriel fanfiction, the boy will be back. @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006 @rhysandorian

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 17

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 3.2K

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

Time marched slowly forward as the leaves transitioned from their lush greens to the vibrant oranges and reds of September, eventually cascading to the ground in early October. During this period, you and Kai navigated the intricacies of your blossoming relationship. Your visits to the village became more frequent, turning day trips into extended stays where you would help his mother tend to her garden or bake, and assist with various repairs around the village. Nights were often spent at Kai’s cottage, where you would indulge in simple meals, trade stories, and share laughter over spirits and wines obtained from his trades with the lumber crew. The joy and laughter you experienced with Kai were unlike anything you had felt in a long time. 

Kai had a unique way of seeing the world, viewing it through a lens of wonder rather than fear. Every creek was an invitation to explore, every field beckoned to lie beneath the sun, and every moment demanded to be cherished. You often caught him sneaking glances at you across the gardens, flashing a coy smile, to which you would respond by sticking your tongue out. Even his father, usually stoic, couldn't help but smile beneath his beard at his son's antics, especially when Kai followed you on woodland hikes or dove into waterfalls with you.

Despite the ever-present murmur of your mate in the back of your mind, you found it easier and easier to calm it, to let it rest untouched. Kai insisted on keeping physical intimacy to a minimum, stopping wandering hands and lustful moans with a gentle touch or a soft pull away. You would growl in frustration, hungry for more, but he always shook his head, his eyes tracing your lips and the lines of your face before kissing you again. He claimed he wanted to let you heal, to learn how you wanted to be held and touched before progressing further. Though you would roll your eyes and huff, you never fought him on it. Each day, it felt as if the wound that once lay open and bleeding was slowly scabbing over.

You decided to keep your relationship with Kai within the village, reserving the cabin in the woods as a sanctuary for yourself. While you trusted Kai, you couldn't help but prepare for the possibility that the Mother might have other plans, and you didn’t know if you could survive having that place tainted with hurt. Kai never questioned your decision, always kissing you softly on the forehead before you ventured back into the wilderness, promising to return soon.

The shadows that once flitted and flickered in odd ways seemed less frequent, appearing only when you were back at the cabin. You attributed this to the changing leaves and the wind, finding comfort in the thought that the world was simply shifting with the seasons, just as you were.

________________________________________________________

“My father and I are making a trip to the city next week,” Kai said, breaking the peaceful silence the two of you had fallen into. You paused, looking up from where you steeped the tea in the kettle on the stove, gazing out into the deep December dredges of blues and purples.

“Fun,” you replied, continuing to bounce the bag within the liquid, which slowly curled with brown swirls.

“I wanted to know if you wanted to join us.”

You sucked your teeth slightly. “Um,” you started, “I don’t know.”

Kai stood from the floor, where he had been idly sharpening one of his saws. “I just thought it might be fun.” He came up behind you, wrapping his long arms around your waist, his face nuzzling into your neck and brushing away your hair with his nose. “Get out for a bit, see something new.”

You smiled, your eyes closing slightly as you leaned your head back. “I don’t know,” you whispered.

“What are you worried about?” he asked, pressing a kiss into your neck.

You shook your head lightly, breathing a sigh. “Nothing, I guess.”

“Then come with us,” he pleaded. “A few days' travel up and back and two days in the city.”

You turned your head to look at him as he rested his chin on your shoulder. “I don’t know if I can manage a week of uninterrupted time with you. I might kill you,” you joked.

“Then I would die happy,” he smiled.

You packed enough clothes to get you through the week, closing down the cabin in the woods for possible snow. While the mountains around you had done a fantastic job breaking up the clouds, a few flurries still managed to make their way down and blanket the floor of the forest in a light frosting. Kai had remarked that it had been a surprisingly light winter so far, and you only prayed it would remain that way.

You brought Clover to the village, securing him in a pen with other mules. He groaned at you as you unbridled him.

“What?” you asked him.

He threw his long snout over his shoulder to look at you, seemingly annoyed with the entire situation. “It’s a week. And you’ll be with friends,” you said, patting his rear lightly.

Clover grumbled in response and sent a huff out through his nose, the condensation swirling in the chill of the morning.

“Did you want your own private suite?” you mockingly asked as you tried to scoot behind him. Clover stood in the covered barn, staring out as other donkeys and horses munched on hay in the middle of the field. “Go,” you bayed him, “be social.”

As you made your way to the gate, he looked at you from the side of his eyes with an incredulous gaze. Apparently, his private life among the forest had spoiled him. You called out, “I’ll see you in a week, you grumpy ass.”

You walked down the slick street of the cottages towards Kai’s place, where you found him just closing the door of the cottage. A warm wool scarf was tied around his neck, covering his mouth slightly. His jacket, worn from years in the snow, had various patches on it and one pocket with a sizeable hole, but the red that shone on his cheeks in the cold sent a smile running through your body.

He turned to look at you and slung his bag up over his back. “Ready?” he asked.

You nodded, and he bounded down the stairs, his legs nearly flying out from under him as he slipped on some ice, but he caught himself with a jolt against the railing. After regaining his composure, he stood and you stifled a giggle that rose from your stomach.

The two of you met his father down by their barn as he was throwing another saddle over the back of one of the lumber horses. These were giant beasts with long flowing manes, their fur longer than the average horse and built as though there was nothing in their body but muscle. The horses let out light chuffs as they idly shifted from hoof to hoof, eager to move their legs that had grown cold in the breeze of early winter.

Kai helped his father attach the pull cart to the back of the largest horse, whose chestnut brown fur was caked with dirt. His father threw a tarp over the load and then promptly went back to the house, claiming he had left something behind.

Kai ran his hands through the mane of his own mare, whom he had named Ingrid, as you slowly brushed your gloved hands down the snout of Lila, the horse you were to trek with.

“She’s a good girl,” Kai called over to you. “Strong and reliable.”

“Maybe I should have told you that I’ve never ridden a horse before we got this far,” you said nervously.

Kai’s eyes widened. “Never?” You shook your head in response. “Well, I guess I’m glad you’re telling me now.” He walked over to you, his boots crunching down the frost of the barn floor. He explained how to get onto the horse, and more importantly, how to get off without falling, and went over basic commands which Lila followed without much hesitation. “She knows the way,” Kai told you. “She’ll keep you safe.”

Kai grabbed the small stool from the side of the barn and placed it next to Lila. You hoisted one leg over the top of her, your thigh barely able to lift over her height, but with a slightly ungraceful boost from Kai, you were able to settle in. Lila shifted onto her back hooves as you gripped the reins.

Kai tightened the saddle slightly and peered up at you. “You look nice from this angle,” he joked.

You threw him a vulgar gesture as he went to mount his own horse, easily throwing his weight up and over as his father returned, a pack of steaming rolls wrapped in a linen towel, flushing savory smells of warm meats and cheese into your nose. His father gave one to each of you, which you scarfed down greedily while trying to keep one hand steady on Lila. Within five minutes, the three of you were off, just as the sun peeked over the mountain.

You rode for hours through the woods, joking and laughing with Kai, while his father rode ahead, seemingly content in his silence.

Lila trudged forward, very aware of the path and needing little guidance from you, which you were grateful for. Instead of having to focus on her, you cast long glances into the deeper woods where the quiet of winter was settling in. Birds that overwinter chirped above and squirrels sent cascades of snow down from the branches, sometimes landing on your head or down the back of Kai’s shirt, which sent him shivering and gripping for his collar. You stopped only for a quick lunch, becoming increasingly aware that you would have to relieve yourself at some point. However, the idea of going to the bathroom in the woods with two males nearby overwhelmed your need to pee. You also found your thighs sore and your gait slightly wider as you adjusted to the width of Lila.

You made the trip in just under three days, a much shorter ride than the walk that originally brought you to the cabin. As you passed the clearing that you remembered from your initial journey out, you felt your heart catch in your throat as you peered down at the city. The evening light was just settling in off the Sidra as the rooftops, lined with light snow, began to glisten in the pinks of the setting sun.

You made it to the gates just before dark, with Kai’s father showing the documented paperwork that allowed him to sell in the Starfall Festival Market. The guard allowed you all in, and you left the horses near the outer stables, their weary bodies aching from the cold as much as your own. Kai’s father unhooked the cart, storing it in the adjoining pen before the three of you turned to walk into the city, which was still bustling with life. As darkness descended, the fae lights rose in the night.

You took in the sights and sounds of a Velaris winter. The sour aromas of cranberry cider wafted through the air, followed by the savory scents of meat pies and spices. Kai’s father opted to turn in early for the night after checking into the inn where you would be staying. Kai insisted that the two of you head into the city to enjoy the night, and you begrudgingly agreed.

Kai took your hand in his, his fingertips chilled and icy as he led you through the streets. The cobblestones had been cleared of all snow, and you wondered if it had anything to do with magic or if the city cleaners had just swept day in and day out during winter. Kai’s eyes shone bright in the fae light as he marveled at all the sights. Garland was strung between lampposts and houses, red berries nestled within the needles, and wreaths hung on nearly every door. You tried to push down a growing sadness as you held back the memories of your starfalls with your mother.

Kai barely seemed to notice your quiet demeanor as he continued through the streets, dragging you along. Music played from every corner, and Kai stopped at each band for a moment to listen before smiling widely at you. As the two of you passed a pastry shop, he pressed his nose to the glass, admiring the various pastries with fillings spilling over their edges, their buttery toppings glistening under the lights. The whole city seemed unreal, its beauty outshining even the brightest stars, and everyone was out in the streets, shopping for last-minute gifts.

As the crowds grew denser the further into the city you walked, Kai’s grip became tighter as you weaved through the bodies toward the city center, where the market would be

As the crowds grew denser the further into the city you walked, Kai’s grip tightened as you weaved your way through the bustling throngs toward the city center, where the market would be taking place the following night. Vendors were already surveying their booths, setting up colorful displays of goods and wares. Kai wandered between the stalls, stopping to chat with familiar faces while you stood next to him, smiling politely and taking in the lively atmosphere.

When he finally found his father’s booth, where they would be selling woodcarvings from the village lumbermen, Kai was reluctantly convinced to return to the warmth of the inn. 

As the two of you wound your way through the streets, opting this time to take the quieter sidestreets, you watched as Kai continued to marvel at the sights, his eyes lighting up at every possible occasion. The narrow alleys were adorned with twinkling fairy lights and garlands, creating a magical glow that reflected off the cobblestones. The sounds of distant laughter and music filled the air, mingling with the scent of roasted chestnuts and spiced wine.

You both walked in comfortable silence, the cold air nipping at your cheeks and the festive decorations casting a warm glow over the city. Kai’s childlike wonder was infectious, and you found yourself smiling more genuinely as you shared in his excitement. Every so often, he would point out something of interest—a particularly ornate wreath, a musician playing a beautiful melody, or a baker’s stall with intricately decorated pastries.

Kai purchased warm wine for both of you, and you stood against the wall of the Sidra, holding the cup to your nose and savoring the rich aroma. The warm liquid lined your throat, sending a comfortable burn through your body. Its full body and intense flavor made you curl your lips, sucking every last drop as you took in the people wandering before you.

“I’m really happy you came with me,” Kai noted. You turned to look at him through your lashes, now flecked with snowflakes.

You smiled at him. “I’m happy I came too.”

“I know this is probably hard, or it was. But I think that you coming back here is a good thing.”

You nodded, taking another sip of your wine and silently wishing the conversation would be over. You didn’t want your own sad memories and yearning to ruin a good night for the two of you. Just as Kai was about to say something else, you heard a voice yelling his name over the crowd. Kai perked up slightly, trying to peer over the sea of people. When his name was shouted again, Kai began waving, his lanky arm sailing through the flurry of snow as he shouted back, “Sylvan!”

You watched as a male, near the same age as you and Kai, bounded through the crowd, nearly toppling a female carrying three boxes stacked high. He apologized profusely as he continued toward you. The male had pale peach skin, a mess of ginger curls, and a face splattered with freckles. His clothes were much more suited for city life than either yours or Kai’s.

As he approached, Kai reached out in an open-armed hug to embrace the stranger.

“I didn’t think I’d see you until tomorrow!” the ginger-haired fae, giddy with enthusiasm, nearly shook Kai in his arms.

“We beat the storm out. Got in this evening!” Kai replied, pulling back and slapping the other male on the back.

“Where’s your dad?”

“Old bastard couldn’t be bothered to come out for a good time.” Kai flashed a smile over his shoulder before turning to you. “Sylvan, this is Y/N. Y/N, Sylvan.”

You reached your hand out to shake Sylvan’s, and he gave you an exaggerated bow, pressing a kiss to your hand as he crooned in feigned regality, “M’lady.”

Kai rolled his eyes and smacked Sylvan on the back of his head, causing him to yelp in pain and rub the spot. “What was that for?” he asked, checking his hand for any damage.

“For being an idiot and embarrassing yourself,” Kai scolded.

Sylvan looked up at you with a rather mocking tone. “I’m sorry for being a fool.”

You giggled slightly. “It’s alright,” you responded.

Kai shot Sylvan a stern look. “Don’t encourage him.”

Sylvan allowed a coy smile to spread across his face as he looked at you and then turned back to Kai. “So what have you been up to? Since apparently it isn’t coming to find me.”

“We’ve been wandering, looking at stalls, buying wine.”

Sylvan turned to look at you and then back to Kai. “She’s with you?”

Taking the opportunity to insert yourself into the conversation, you confidently replied, “Unfortunately, yes.”

“Did he catch you against your will and force you to spend time with him?” Sylvan asked, turning to you.

“His father pays me by the hour,” you smirked, and Kai simply shook his head, a smile playing on his lips.

Sylvan nudged his elbow into your side. “Well, if we go by the hour, just let me know the address to send money to.”

Kai’s face dropped. “Alright, that’s enough.”

You smirked at both of them, your eyes meeting Kai’s, who sent you a silent apology. You merely shook your head.

“So?” Sylvan started, “Drinks? Food?”

“I think we’re—” Kai began, but you interrupted.

“You know what, Kai? I think I’m getting pretty tired, so I might turn in for the night.” You smiled at him.

“I can walk you back,” he offered, taking a step towards you, but you raised your hand, shaking your head.

“No, no, that’s okay! You go spend some time with your friend. I’ll see you later.”

Kai looked between you and Sylvan, who seemed to be nodding along with your plan, mischievously grinning.

With a sigh, Kai said, “Alright,” and Sylvan nearly jumped up and down with excitement.

You gripped Kai’s hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze before releasing it and turning to walk back towards the inn. You called over your shoulder, “Take care of him, Sylvan. Don’t let him get into trouble.” Sylvan may have responded, though you didn’t hear him as you made your way through the bustling streets.

Here we go... @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 16

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.2k

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

The world felt soft around you. You took a deep breath in through your nose as you curled deeper into the softness of the blanket. You gripped it and felt a hard frame dig under your fingers, and a soft rise and fall. You curled your head in and felt a heavy hand resting on your hip, a welcome pressure and warmth as you yawned slightly, wiping your face onto the blanket. You opened your eyes and became aware of where you were, and when you looked up, you saw Kai, his mouth slightly open, breathing slowly in and out. You shot up, awaking Kai as you did, accidentally pushing into his stomach and he let out a grunt as the air left his lungs. 

“Well good morning to you too.” He wheezed out, rubbing the back of his head. 

“I’m so sorry.” You said, rising up, brushing the front of your dress down. “I shouldn’t have stayed. I’m sorry.” 

Kai only looked at you, his brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”

“I shouldn’t have stayed, I’m sorry.” You repeated, trying to gather your shoes you’d taken off. 

“You don’t need to rush off.” Kai said, and then added, “And you don’t need to apologize either.” 

“I just-” you started, “I shouldn’t have done all of this.” 

“Y/N, it’s okay,” Kai repeated. 

You tried to calm your racing thoughts as you dug in the blankets for your other shoe. 

“Y/N, just stop.” Kai ordered, “Just calm down.” 

You stopped, your chest heaving. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked. 

“I just-” you started, “I shouldn’t have told you all of that last night, and I shouldn’t have stayed.” 

“You would have left in the middle of the night? And then what?”

You stammered out, “I’m sorry Kai, this was a mistake.”

Kai gestured around, “Where is the mistake? We had dinner, we drank, we talked, we fell asleep.” 

You tried to reason through your feelings. Why did you feel so dirty, so foul. “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea.” You said. 

“What idea should I not be getting?” Kai asked. 

You stammered again, “That I’m like, leading you on.”

Kai chuckled. “Ah, I see.” 

You looked at him, slightly confused by his response. 

“We had dinner,” Kai repeated, “And then you fell asleep. I don’t see where me offering you dinner and then us spending time together is you leading me on.” You looked at him, unsure of what to say, “And even if I felt those feelings towards you, I’m a grown male. I can handle rejection.” 

You tried to speak but couldn’t get anything out other than, “I’m sorry,” you dropped your face to your hands, “I’m being stupid.”

Kai chuckled, “Yes, but that’s nothing new.”

You shook your head. “I shouldn’t have told you all of that.” 

Kai rose to his feet, slightly taller than you and approached you, pulling your hands down, “I asked.” He said, “You told me.” 

You shook your head, “It’s not your concern.” 

“You’re right,” Kai responded. “It’s not, unless I want to think about it. Which I may. And I may feel sad you have to deal with all of it, but it’s not life changing for me. And I don’t regret you telling me.”

You shook your head again, Kai pushed your chin up to look at him, “I don’t think less of you. I’m not upset and I don’t feel burdened with this information about your life.” He joked, “And I’m also not falling in love with you, since apparently you think so highly of yourself.” 

You smiled and chuckled slightly. 

Kai stepped back, “So let’s move on. Let’s call it what it was, a fun night between friends.” You nodded slightly. Swallowing back your fear. “Nothing more.”

“Nothing more.” You repeated. 

________________________________________________________

You helped Kai clean the cottage up, folding the blanket back, and rinsing plates in the well behind it. The whole time Kai made idle chitchat seemingly normal in comparison to your own mind which continued to race with regret. This male, so kind and pure, so unburdened and the second you felt a moment of comfort you may as well have slit your stomach open and let the contents fall out in front of him. You cursed the ease at which you allowed yourself to share all of that. You tried to justify it being the wine, but you had feared for a while getting too close to anyone again. You couldn’t fully figure out why you felt so against letting people in, but you felt an inherent need to distrust whoever you could, as if in any moment they might turn on you. 

Kai helped you load the rest of your things onto Clover, who seemed annoyed that you were intending to still make the journey home. He seemed content to live the rest of his days on Kai’s lawn. 

When you tried to say a speedy goodbye Kai turned you to look at him. “Hey,” he started, “I’ll see you later?” He asked. 

You nodded slightly, and wished him well, turning to walk back into the woods. As you retraced your steps, you replayed the scene in your mind—the happiness and peace you felt wrapped in Kai’s arms, how quiet the world had seemed to be. Your mate was absent last night and eerily silent today, leaving an uneasy feeling in the pit of your stomach. Days turned into nights and back into days again, a routine of solitude and fleeting shadows that seemed to drift behind trees and under bushes, always keeping you on edge.

When you returned home, you released Clover into his pen and unloaded your bags onto the table in your cabin. Taking a deep breath, you tried to steady yourself. The world wouldn’t end just because you’d opened the door to someone. You kept repeating this to yourself, knowing Kai held no ill will and had no ulterior motive. He had laughed but had sworn to keep your secrets.

You tried to busy yourself, but your mind kept flitting back to the conversation, distracting you to the point where you accidentally sliced your finger while cutting vegetables. You watched the blood seep from the wound, dripping onto the dirt below as you tried to focus on the searing pain.

You wouldn't ruin this for yourself. You wouldn’t run from this.

---

A few weeks later, as summer faded into autumn, you found yourself running low on sugar and flour. You were also growing stir-crazy from being alone, so you decided to take a trip into the village, opting to leave Clover behind. The entire journey, you rehearsed what you would say to Kai, trying to sound normal, which just made you feel more strange. You did the entire journey in a day, propelled by your own anxiety.

When you crested the hill, peering down into the village, you gulped down your fear. You ran your usual errands, not sure if you were hoping to see Kai or not. After getting what you needed and exchanging pleasantries, you found yourself standing in front of his cottage door. Your hand hovered above the door for a good minute as you raised and lowered it, debating whether to knock. Finally, you built up the confidence and knocked, your heart in your throat.

From behind you, you heard, “Thank gods you finally did it.”

You whipped around to see Kai, his linen shirt slightly unbuttoned, casually leaning against the banister of the stairs. “I thought we’d be here for another hour before you finally got around to it.”

“You ass!” you yelled. “How long have you been standing here?”

“As long as you’ve been considering knocking,” Kai chuckled, shaking the loose hair out of his face.

“You really are an ass, you know that?” you threw at him.

Kai stood from the banister, walking up the stairs to you, opening the door. “Only when you remind me,” he said, flashing you a cheeky grin.

You stood in the doorway as Kai entered, throwing down his satchel full of tools and kicking off his boots. He turned over his shoulder, “You coming?”

You stepped through the door, standing awkwardly near the entrance as you pulled it shut behind you.

Kai busied himself unpacking his bag before he looked up at you from where he squatted on the floor. “You gonna say something or did you just come here to stare at my glorious physique?” he asked, gesturing to himself.

You stammered out, “I- I don’t know why I’m feeling so nervous.”

Kai furrowed his brow, standing up, rubbing his hands on his pants. “Why are you nervous?” he asked.

“I-I just have been feeling really off these last few weeks,” you said.

Kai rubbed his hands over his face. “Gods, Y/N, are you still thinking about what happened? Or what didn’t happen?” he asked.

“No!” you said back, slightly too loudly.

Kai chuckled, “So then what’s got you so jumpy?”

You swallowed, and Kai looked slightly concerned. “Y/N, what’s wrong?” he asked, taking a few steps towards you.

Your eyes widened as he closed the gap between you. “I-” you started until he was in front of you, peering down at you with concern in those green eyes. Those beautifully green eyes.

“I-” you stammered again, and then you were up on your toes, your hands wrapping around the back of his neck, fingers curling into that stupidly unkempt hair, your lips pressing into his with a desperation you didn’t know you had in you. Kai seemed taken aback slightly, his arms wide before he melted into your kiss. He leaned forward, bringing you back down onto your feet, his arms wrapping around your back and waist as you tasted each other. He tasted of sun and sweat, and you pressed yourself deeper into him, your hand clenched in his hair, eliciting a groan from him. Kai pressed you against the door, his body curling against yours, one hand firmly against the wood. Your tongues danced, the sound of your breathing echoing between you as you explored each other’s lips. You gripped his shirt as though you were dying of thirst, and Kai lifted you slightly, his hand pressing into you.

When you finally pulled back, you kept your eyes closed, your lips slightly parted as you breathed heavily. You opened your eyes to see Kai smiling slightly down at you.

“That’s what you were nervous about?” he joked.

You scowled at him. “No.”

Kai laughed, “Then can you tell me, or can we kiss some more?”

You rolled your eyes. “You’re an idiot.”

“A handsome, irresistible idiot that you couldn’t wait to kiss?” he asked.

You pushed your hands into his chest, giggling slightly. “I can most certainly resist you.”

“Mm, doesn’t seem like you can, given you debated for about an hour about knocking on my door,” Kai said as you pushed past him into the main room. He turned to look at you, leaning casually against the door, eyes glazed and his hair tousled where you had run your hands through it.

“You certainly think highly of yourself,” you mocked him, crossing your arms.

Kai smirked, “I have to admit, I do feel like a winner.” You rolled your eyes as Kai looked at you. “Let it be told that you kissed me. You started that.”

You looked to the floor, rubbing your forehead slightly. “I know,” you laughed out. “I-I don’t know why I did that.”

Kai gestured to himself, “Irresistible charm and charisma.”

“Sure,” you responded. “I’m sorry.”

“You love that phrase,” he said. You glared at him. “I’m just saying, you say that every other sentence.”

“I do not!” you scowled at him.

“You do too,” he said back. “You look at me when I’m talking to you and apologize for it.”

“Well I’m-” you caught yourself.

“See! You were about to do it again,” Kai said, pointing at you.

“I was not!”

“You absolutely were,” Kai immediately said back.

“You’re so annoying,” you groaned at him.

“Annoyingly handsome?” he smirked back.

“You know I had plans to come here to tell you I needed some distance and time,” you said, leaning against the table.

“And then you attacked me and kissed me.”

“I did not!” you shouted.

“Mm, kind of did,” he said, shrugging. “Seems a little counterintuitive.”

“Look,” you started. Kai looked at you, but you ran out of words to say.

“I’m going to be honest,” Kai said, “I’m not sure I can so easily just pretend that it didn't mean anything. But if you need that to just have been an overcome moment of emotional vulnerability, and you don’t want it to mean anything, I can try to act like that,” he offered.

You shook your head, unsure what to say.

“Or we can move on like that didn’t happen.”

You considered the options, but with Kai standing across from you, so casual, so easy to be with and talk to, so close—you didn’t want to just act like it didn’t mean anything.

You crossed closer to him. “I think it doesn’t not mean anything.”

Kai furrowed his brow, looking up slightly. “So that means...?” he said.

“Shut up and kiss me again,” you growled at him. And he did.

Everything inside of you felt as though it were on fire. Every sensation became heightened as you were enveloped in the kiss, from your fingertips down to your toes. You took him in, tasted him, and devoured him. For the first time in a long time, your mind went completely silent. Kai gripped your hip, hoisting you onto the table. Your legs wrapped around his waist as he ran his hands down the small of your back, while your hands explored his shoulders and neck, firm from years of hauling downed trees. The only sounds in the cottage were those of kissing and heavy breathing. Kai’s touch was tentative, his hands gently grazing your skin, as if he were fighting himself from gripping you entirely. You brought your hands to his cheeks, pressing firmly into them as your tongue danced with his.

You hadn’t felt this much uncontrolled passion in years, and your body seemed desperate for more. Anything more that could be offered, you would take. You yearned for someone to touch you, to run their hands over your sacred skin without it burning in pain. You wished night after night for someone to savor your kiss, for you to want to give it without fighting. And here was Kai, hands searching for comfort, moving with your own as if in a dance where you led. His rhythm matched yours as you enveloped yourself in him, your chest pressing into his as you urged him closer, deeper into yourself.

This male, this glorious male who had listened to you, watched you bumble through the history of your life with nothing but a smile on his face, was now fully yours in this moment. Between your legs, you felt the heat of your own anticipation, a longing you hadn’t felt in a very long time. In pressing your hips into Kai’s, it became clear that he too wanted more than what lips could provide. You reached your hand down between the two of you, running your hand up and down the length of him, eliciting a moan from his open mouth.

“Y/N-” he started, the sound of it like ecstasy leaving his lips.

You gripped the back of his head, pulling him closer as you moaned in response.

Kai shifted a bit, pulling back, and you groaned in protest. Your body suddenly lacked the warmth of his, and you felt an immediate emptiness where he had been. You opened your eyes to meet his, slightly downturned, not nearly as glazed over as you were sure your own were.

“Y/N,” he said again.

You sought answers within his eyes, wondering if he was not enjoying this despite what his body had told you.

“What?” you asked, breath barely leaving you.

Kai shook his head, throwing the hair from his eyes. “We need to slow down.”

You shot him a quizzical look, feeling the weight of the world collapse onto your shoulders. “What?” you repeated, pulling the hem of your skirt back down your thighs.

“I just-” Kai started, refusing to meet your gaze. “You’ve been through a lot, and I just want to make sure that you want this.”

You tilted your head slightly, the blood rising in your cheeks. “What do you mean? Of course I want this. I kissed you.”

Kai shook his head lightly, finally meeting you with his green eyes. “I’m just worried that you’re moving quickly, given you haven’t been with anyone since...” He paused, stammering a bit.

You felt a flicker of flame in your stomach as you furrowed your brow, your voice slightly laced with confusion and anger. “What do you think I’m doing?”

“Nothing!” Kai responded. “I don’t know.” He paused, looking towards the floor as he wrapped his hands around the back of his head. “I just don’t want you to rush into this because you think it will make everything better.”

You shook your head in confusion, as though trying to shake those words from existence. “No,” you whispered. “No, that’s not at all what I’m doing.”

Kai looked at you, his eyes focused and hardened. “Am I the first male you’ve been with since him?”

Your eyes frantically searched his face as you paused, considering what answer he might be looking for. “Yes,” you finally answered.

Kai swallowed, and you watched his throat bob as he lingered on your answer. “Am I the first male you’ve told about... everything?”

You took a deep breath in, the flame in your stomach rising higher. “Yes,” you firmly answered.

Kai softened slightly, taking another step towards you, taking your hand in both of his, pressing softly into it. “I just don’t want you to throw yourself into this because I’m the only one you’ve shared this with.”

You pushed back slightly. “Kai, I’m not just throwing myself at you because you did that.”

“I wasn’t saying you were,” he started, but you continued.

“No, no. You’re saying that you think all anyone had to do was listen to my sob story, and I would just fall into their arms?”

Kai’s mouth parted slightly as his eyebrows fell, hardening in defense. “That’s not at all what I’m saying.”

“What? Do you think that I can’t control myself? Or that I haven’t considered all of this?”

“No! I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

You almost yelled out, “Then don’t hurt me!”

Kai stopped, his face softening again as you bore deeply into those green pools. Your own head shook slightly as you sucked your lips between your teeth.

Kai stepped closer, wrapping his hand around your cheek, weaving his fingers into your hair. “I wouldn’t hurt you,” he promised as you slightly turned your head away. He pulled his other hand up to meet the other side of your face, turning you back to him. “Hey, I would never, ever, ever want to hurt you. I don’t even think I could.”

You scanned his face, so innocent, so willing to make promises with so little understanding of their gravity. Kai’s eyes closed as he leaned into you, his lips grazing yours as you let your own eyes close, leaning back into him. His lips softened as you did, as though he pulled the tension from your body through the connection of the two of you and disposed of it. Your body melted back in slightly, but you intended to still hold on to some of the rising displeasure in your stomach.

When he pulled back, you gave him a feigned scowl. “I don’t like that you have that as an option now,” you declared.

Kai only smiled and gave you another soft peck. “I just want to enjoy this with you.”

You rolled your eyes. “Sure.”

“I’m serious,” Kai gripped your face. “I just want to make sure that this is good for you.”

You shook from his grip. “I’ll be sure to give you a performance update,” you smirked.

Kai’s eyes rolled as he let out a soft huff of exasperation, then smiled genuinely at you. “Just don’t shut me out,” he pleaded slightly.

Your face fell slightly flatter as you just responded, “Don’t give me a reason to.”

To my readers, I'm sorry for what you are about to witness:

@thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @skylarkalchemist @darling006

[a-court-of-fics-and-errors]

Keep Moving Forwards, Part 15

Azriel x Reader Fic

Summary: After finally deciding to leave your abusive and manipulative mate for good, you find unexpected companionship with Azriel, the Shadowsinger of the Night Court. As you navigate the aftermath of your traumatic relationship, you struggle to understand where the mating bond went wrong and contemplate your path forward, vowing never to return to the past.

Find other parts here: Master List

To follow this fic, follow tag "Keep Moving Forwards Fic" or comment to be tagged in future parts.

Content Warning: This story contains depictions of extreme emotional manipulation and abuse, detailed descriptions of direct physical abuse, and scenes of men hunting women with implied sexual assault. Please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 4.7k

Author's Note: This is a multi-part series. Unlike my previous works, this fanfiction delves deeper than just fluff, exploring complex emotional landscapes. As I navigate this new writing journey, I kindly ask for gentle feedback. The topics addressed are profoundly impactful, touching many lives with diverse experiences. Please be gentle with yourselves and others. Healing is a journey, and everyone processes it differently. Be kind to yourself. Take what resonates, and leave what doesn’t.

I drew inspiration for the story of the mating bond from the song "The Origin of Love" featured in the musical "Hedwig and the Angry Inch." Whenever the topic of the mating bond arises, this song comes to mind, and I extend my heartfelt gratitude to its creator. It never fails to move me to tears, and I am deeply thankful for its presence in my life. If you'd like to listen to the song, here's the link: The Origin of Love

Please continue reading, being aware of the above content warnings, ensuring you are in a healthy headspace. Give yourself time to process and be gentle with yourself.

As the cabin continued to be repaired, you found more time to wander into the woods, venturing far enough to need a tent, which you packed up and camped overnight in. About a day and a half’s walk from the cabin was a small village where lesser fae lived. Though small, it teemed with life, and the fae welcomed you warmly. None were familiar with the cabin you now called home, but they were eager to help with supplies to fix it up. An older fae female named Bettina, with long, flowing grey hair braided with flowers, traded you vegetable sprouts for an afternoon’s work in her garden. Another young woman with sunburnt cheeks and a babe strapped to her back traded you new fabrics for your collection of books.

Mortus, the village craftsman, was more challenging to trade with. He wanted nothing you had, but he was the keeper of glass panes and treated wood planks. He was an older fae male, his face weathered from harsh winters, yet he retained the youth of someone who had spent his life bathing in lakes and galloping through meadows. Knowing you couldn’t carry much through the woods, you promised to return with something of value to trade.

Returning home with your new items, you dropped them in the cabin, which remained untouched since you had left, and parsed through your bag. You found a set of hunting knives, many much too large for your purposes. The serrated one left your stomach in knots as you pushed out the memory of Anthea’s death. You wrapped them in their leather bindings and set back out to trade them. Mortus was happy with the trade, and upon your return, he packed a mule with the items you had requested. He threw in the mule because you had baked him five different breads with the fruit from the nearby bushes. He noted the mule was old and worthless, but you didn’t mind the company. You lovingly named him Clover, as he seemed to love munching on the leafy greens for hours on end. Though the day-and-a-half trip took three days due to Clover’s stubborn need to stop at every possible water source, you didn’t mind the company.

While you despised the life you had lived in the mountains, you didn’t mind the skills that came with it. You knew how to fix and mend without missing a beat, maximizing your use of nails and learning to use tree sap to seal wood slats. Within a few weeks, the cabin was almost livable. You even took an entire day to build Clover a small pen with branches, sticks, bark, and sap, hanging an oil lamp from the ceiling of the covered plank landing you had made. Clover merely watched as you dropped a pile of wood on your foot, cursing every word that came to mind as you hopped up and down. He just chewed his flowers and grunted at you for disturbing his peace and quiet.

By the time summer was in full swing, you had returned the cabin to its former glory. The roof was patched, and the glass panes of the windows were replaced with various colors. Mortus had given you the colored glass pieces at a cheaper price as he had a hard time transporting glass to and from Velaris. He mentioned going to the market every six months and offered to take you with him, but you politely declined. Your life was here now.

Though your skills in furniture building were limited, you managed to fix up the old rotten chairs for the kitchen table and crafted a small bedside table for the upper loft. Your biggest feat was creating a makeshift mattress from dried weeds and extra fabric. It wasn’t comfortable, but it was much better than sleeping on the hardwood. Your garden bloomed nicely, with zucchini and squash coming up in large batches. Berries from surrounding bushes were a happy addition to most meals.

You even conquered your squeamishness about trapping animals. You caught a few squirrels and rabbits with traps the village children taught you to create. While you still cried each time you landed a final blow, you used every part of the animal, even fashioning sewing needles from their bones to trade with the village females. You visited the village once every few weeks and became well-liked, with villagers storing items for your next return.

Your life seemed blissful. Though you couldn’t rid yourself of your mate, who still tormented you, you felt a sense of peace and self-sufficiency. However, you found it odd how shadows seemed to come and go within the cabin some nights. When evening turned the room deep purple, and you lit the oil lamps, shadows fluttered about with a mind of their own. While off-putting, it happened frequently enough with no ill effects that you almost forgot it happened at all.

In the heat of mid-August, you made another trip into the village and were met by a fae male who seemed to have taken a particular interest in you. Kai, a male about 20 years your senior, with a mop of brown hair often falling into his eyes, often accompanied you through the village, helping carry your supplies which he tied to the ever-resilient Clover. Kai had a kind face, speckled with freckles and crooked teeth, but his green eyes held nothing but kindness. He was strong from years spent working with his father chopping lumber to sell to craftsmen in the city. Kai was always willing to walk alongside you and asked after you constantly.

As you exited the cottage of Meriam, a fae female with five young children who often traded your baked goods for dried cotton, you found Kai running his hand over Clover, who seemed to almost roll his eyes at the interaction. Kai looked up at you with a lazy smile. “Hey.”

You bounded down the steps, your new boots slightly too large but lighter than your old ones. “Hi,” you smiled back.

“How are things?”

You tied the cotton sack to Clover, Kai handing you the lead. “Things are good. Just getting some stuff.”

“Want some help?” Kai asked.

You smiled, appreciating his consistent offer. “Sure.”

The two of you wandered down the dirt road, chickens running amok underfoot as Clover huffed, nearly stomping on one.

“How are things for you?” you asked him.

Kai nodded, “Good. Fished this morning, got a fairly good catch, lots of trout.”

You congratulated him on his catch.

“I’m going to cook them up tonight, if you wanted to stay for dinner.”

You considered the offer, rarely staying past early evening to make it to your first clearing to set up camp. “I don’t think I can. I have a long way home.”

Kai shrugged, his hand resting on Clover’s shoulder, which twitched away horseflies. “You could stay the night,” he offered.

You laughed, “I don’t want to put anyone out.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Kai responded. “You could stay with me. I mean, I’m offering you dinner.”

“Kai, that’s very kind of you, but—” you started.

“I’m serious, Y/N. It’s no trouble at all. Plus, then you can finally taste my fish fry instead of just hearing me brag about it.”

You considered it for a second, the back of your head ringing with uncertainty. You hadn’t slept much the last few nights, and the exhaustion was catching up. You might sleep tonight unburdened by your mate. You looked up, catching Kai’s hopeful eyes. You had declined every other offer he had made before, at least five different times, and yet his offer came up each time.

You laughed slightly, “Sure.”

Kai nearly jumped with excitement. “Really!?” he squealed out, regaining his composure. He cleared his throat, looking straight ahead. “That’s great. That’s fantastic.” He peeked over at you, and you smirked at him.

“If this fish tastes awful, though, I’m never letting you live it down,” you joked.

“You’re going to melt over it,” Kai promised. Smiling widely, he added, “Meet me in an hour?” You nodded, and he hurried off between two cottages. You shook your head, laughing to yourself. Kai knew so little of the world and seemed to have such a sense of childlike wonder. You often found him more like family than anything else. Or at least more like the odd sense of family you had created for yourself. You spent the next hour bargaining with another female who seemed unhappy with the length of your stitches in a quilt you had been working on to trade for a new sack of flour, but you finally convinced her to make the trade, promising that you would up your skill level before the next time you saw her. 

You made your way to Kai’s cottage, set farther back up on a plank platform. Tying Clover to the railing, you walked up the stairs where Kai met you at the door before you could even knock.

“Hi!” he greeted eagerly.

You smiled, “Hi.”

Kai stood there for a moment, basking in his smile before remembering to let you in. “Oh,” he stepped back, waving his arm. “Please, come in!”

You entered his small cottage, smaller than your own. A mattress was pushed into the back corner, various axes and tools were strewn about on the floor in a pile. In the middle of the room, a blanket was set on the floor with a plate of cooked fish in the center, surrounded by plates of rice, beans, cooked squash, and berries.

“You outdid yourself,” you noted, gesturing to the blanket.

Kai stood behind you, his cheeks reddening slightly. “Oh, I, uh, I don’t have a lot of company, so I just…” he stammered, “I don’t have a kitchen table, so I thought we could do it picnic style.”

You chuckled lightly, “That’s very sweet.”

Kai’s eyes brightened before he gestured to the blanket, “Please, sit.”

You did, and he hurried to the shelves next to the stove, pulling down a bottle and popping the cork off. Sitting across from you, he handed you the bottle. You pressed it to your lips and tasted the sweet blueberry wine, its tart flavor tightening the back of your mouth as you swallowed, nearly moaning with delight. You licked your lips slightly before handing the bottle to Kai, who took a drink himself.

“It’s been so long since I’ve had summer wine,” you said.

Kai took another long drink before handing it back to you. “I’ve been saving it. I got it last time I was in the city and wanted to wait for a special occasion.”

“I’m the occasion?” you asked.

Kai smirked, “Don’t flatter yourself.” He paused. “But I guess so.” He brought a fork to the fish filet still steaming on the platter and put it on your plate. “Here, try that.”

You took your fork, stabbing it through the meat that flaked away easily. The buttery smooth texture and light citrus flavor swirled on your tongue. You let out a moan, “Okay, you were right. This is delicious.”

Kai smiled, taking a bite of his own. “I told you.”

Greedily scooping another mouthful, you asked, “Where did you learn to cook like this?”

He swallowed his bite, “My mother taught me. We’d always get a big catch of fish, and then she would make this whole meal for the village.”

“I’ll have to thank her for teaching you the next time I see her,” you noted.

“Oh gods, if you ever tell her, she won’t stop talking about it. She loves you,” he laughed back.

You nodded lightly, smiling into the bite you took.

Things were always easy with Kai. He never asked questions that made you uncomfortable. He never seemed to want anything more than your time. You could joke with each other, and conversation was effortless. Time moved slower with him. The night waned as the sun set, the two of you finishing the entire plate of fish and all the sides. You both laid on the blanket, sprawling, looking up at the ceiling, laughing through hiccups as the fae wine spread through your bloodstreams.

____________________________________________________

“I swear,” Kai laughed out, “I’ve never seen him more angry.”

You coughed out a laugh, sitting up slightly. “He chased you naked through the woods?”

Kai closed his eyes, pressing his palms into them as he heaved out laughter. “I’ve never been more terrified in my life.”

“Why did he think you stole his clothes in the first place?”

Kai threw his hands up. “Fuck if I know,” he laughed. “He had it out for me from the beginning.”

“So what happened?” you asked, slurring your words.

“I climbed a tree, and he lost me,” he laughed. “He just wandered around, dick to the wind, threatening to skin me.”

You laughed at the sight of one of Kai’s friends, Liam, who often was the butt of jokes in the village but had grown into a handsome male lusted after by other village females.

“What happened after?” you asked.

Kai turned to his side, propping his head on his hand. “I waited until he left, and then when I got back home, he had thrown all my clothes into the trees.”

You guffawed, tears gathering in the corners of your eyes. You took the bottle of wine and brought it to your lips but found it empty. You turned it over and shook it, a sad frown on your face.

“Gone?” Kai asked.

You nodded.

Without knowing why, you let out a loud laugh, laying back as the bottle hit the floor. Kai smiled and started laughing too, the two of you almost howling as he looked at you. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

You managed to push out between laughs, “Your face!”

“What about my face?” he laughed.

“I can’t look at you without laughing,” you cried out, covering your own.

“What, am I that disgusting?” He punched your shoulder.

“No, you just—” you wheezed, looking at him again.

“What?” he asked, smiling widely.

You turned to him, your lips trembling as you tried to hold back laughter.

“You’re just looking at me?” Kai said.

“You have a silly face.”

Kai smiled slightly. “I have a silly face?” he taunted back.

You nodded, laughter bubbling up again.

“You’re so drunk,” he laughed.

“You’re drunk!” you pointed a finger, slightly off target.

“I know I’m drunk,” Kai responded, “and so are you. And you keep laughing at me because you’re cruel.”

“I wouldn’t be so cruel if you didn’t have such a face,” you laughed, drawing a lazy, squiggly circle around his face.

“I’m glad you find my appearance so amusing!” he laughed again, lying back on his back.

The two of you sat in a soft silence, still slightly gurgling out laughter. 

Kai turned toward you, and you giggled, tears streaming down your face. “Are you done laughing at me?”

“Are you done looking like that?”

“What do you want from me, Y/N?” He chuckled. “I can’t change my face.”

“Then I guess I’m not done laughing.”

You turned to Kai, who smiled at you as you giggled, your hands resting on your stomach, rising and falling with your laughter.

“You’re a mystery,” Kai whispered.

“Ooo, spooky,” you responded, raising your fingers and wiggling them slightly.

“No, really,” Kai said. “You come out of the woods one day, say nothing about where you’re from.” He gestured to the fish. “You steal from us—”

You cut him off, “I bartered!” You laughed.

Kai laughed with you, continuing, “Okay, you participated in barter and trade, and then you disappear into the woods. Three weeks later, you come back up here demanding more and tell us nothing of who you are.”

You tried to hold back another laugh, looking at him as Kai raised himself from the ground to sit up, his legs crossed as he leaned his head against the wall.

“What do you want to know?” you asked.

“Anything you want to tell me. You can tell me whatever story you want, just tell me a little about the mysterious female in front of me.”

You hoisted yourself up, still laughing lightly. You swiped your finger through the juice of the berries in the bowl and sucked the sweetness from it. “Well, I was born from a dragon.”

“Obviously,” Kai said, “explains the scales and fire-breathing anger.” He joked.

“Of course,” you said, “and I spent my days plundering the cities of Prythian, wreaking havoc on innocent families, and flying to mountains to protect my treasures.”

Kai smiled and nodded. “And then you were cursed by a wizard?” he asked.

You shook your head, wagging your finger. “No, no, no, a witch. It was a witch.”

“Ah, yes,” he said. “A witch cursed you to be a female for the rest of your life.”

“Cursed to live in the woods for the rest of my days, never to know the speed of the wind and the glimmer of gold.”

“A tragic tale, to be sure,” Kai smirked.

You feigned a frown. “I cry myself to sleep every night.”

Kai smiled and leaned his head back, closing his eyes.

You looked at him, his peaceful face, and felt your inhibitions lower slightly. Pushing back the incessant pounding of your mate with it, you traced the floral patterns of the blanket and cleared your throat. “No, I—” you coughed, “I was born in Velaris.”

Kai opened one eye to look at you. “A city girl,” he smirked jokingly.

You let out a small giggle. “Not for long. My mother took me out of the city when I was still really young. We found a village in the woods, kind of like this, and she raised me there.”

Kai opened both eyes and jostled his feet. “What about your father?”

You shrugged.

“He’s a bastard?” he asked.

You shrugged again, a smirk on your face as the alcohol's warmth tingled in your toes. “Don’t know, never met him!”

Kai looked at you incredulously. “You don’t know your father?”

You wiggled your nose, numb from the wine. “My mother said he wanted nothing to do with us.”

Kai looked at you more seriously. “I’m so sorry.”

“Oh,” you slapped his leg playfully, “don’t get sappy. I don’t know the guy, so it doesn’t matter. I don’t feel like I’m missing anything.”

Kai started to giggle again. “I guess that’s true. Can’t miss what you don’t know.”

You started laughing again too. “Besides, what if he’s ugly?”

Kai guffawed, pushing tears away. “Then that would explain your ass face.”

You punched him in the thigh, and he cried out, “Ow, fuck, reign it in.”

“Pussy,” you joked. Kai rubbed his leg and smiled at you. “Sorry,” you apologized.

“Well, now you owe me, as I’m wounded. So how did you get here?” Kai asked.

You felt the words fall from your mouth faster than you could stop them. “I met my mate, who was sent straight from hell,” you pointed down to the ground, “and he was so fucking mean and took everything so seriously.” Kai’s face tightened slightly. “So I ran away from him, and I watched someone die, and then I met the High Lord of the Night Court, nice guy actually,” Kai seemed to straighten slightly. “And then I said goodbye, and went into the woods, and now I’m here.”

Kai looked at you, a serious tonal shift. “You have a mate?” He stammered, and got out, “The High Lord?”

You nodded, swaying slightly as you pointed to your head. “Still can hear him up here.”

“Y/N—” Kai started.

“Ugh,” you said, leaning back, “if you’re one of those traditional fae with a stick up their ass that thinks you have to stay with your mate, I don’t wanna hear it,” you slurred.

Kai leaned forward slightly. “No, no. I guess I just, I didn’t think that mates could be cruel to each other.”

You laughed slightly. “Oh, you are very wrong.” Kai paused, unsure of what to say. “You don’t need to pity me,” you said. “I should have seen it coming. He was shitty before we accepted the bond. I don’t know why I thought it would change after we were mated.” You picked a hangnail from your thumb.

“You’re brave,” Kai noted.

Kai watched you with intense curiosity as you shook your head, turning the corners of your mouth down. “I was desperate. Bravery didn’t have anything to do with it.” Kai didn’t respond, his eyes encouraging you to continue. “When I was a child, my mother would tell me stories about mates, about fae who loved each other so deeply they felt each other’s souls dancing with their own.” You looked at the ceiling, imagining the tales your mother spun. “These fae would spend their entire lives looking in the mirror and only see half of themselves looking back.” Your eyes traced the beams above you. “And then one day, they would find their mate, and suddenly,” you snapped your fingers, “the world was whole, and every piece of you suddenly made sense.”

Kai leaned forward, captivated. “She’d tell me how colors would be more vivid, food would taste better, heat would feel hotter and cold would feel colder, and the world would feel suddenly so much larger and yet so small.” You swallowed down the lump in your throat. “She would tell me this story about how, long before the world was as it is now, where clouds were made of fire and the mountains were tall enough to scrape the sky, long before the fae existed, there were these creatures who roamed the world.”

Kai’s eyes widened with interest. “Some of them looked like two males sewn up back to back, and those were the children of the sun. And the children of the world were two females meshed together. The children of the moon were a male and female. These creatures, they would spend their days talking, reading, and learning about the world around them. They were so happy to be alive. Every day they would thank the sun or the moon or the world just for being alive.” You envisioned these beings, with four arms and legs, wandering around the barren wasteland of the world, content with each other.

“And then,” you continued, “the gods grew jealous of the bond that the creatures had with each other. They never knew loneliness, sorrow, or anger; they had no fear.” Kai listened intently, shifting slightly to lean forward on his arms. “The gods worried that the creatures would disobey them and that if they had no fear and no worry of loss, they wouldn’t hesitate to battle them. The more the creatures talked, the more they began to question the gods' power over them. So the gods decided they would split the creatures into two, just cut them down the middle.” You made a slashing motion with your hand. “And so the gods made this plan, and they filled the sky with fire and ice, and they struck fear into the hearts of these creatures. As the fire rained down, they ripped the creatures apart with giant swords. When they were all separated, they blew a giant windstorm through and scattered the creatures and their partners across the world, threatening that if they ever defied them again, they would split them again, and they would have one arm and one leg.” You laughed slightly at the image.

“My mother would say that as the creatures tried to continue to live, they spent their lives roaming the earth searching for their other half. When they had children, and time continued on, they died out, but their children still searched for the other half, like that need was buried deep inside them. As the children had children, and their children had children, and then at some point, they gave birth to the fae. We carry that same need to search for this other half. And that’s our mate. When we find them, and that bond snaps, it’s because we have finally found our other half, and it’s a tiny act of defiance against the gods who taught us to hate, fear, and be angry. But also taught us to know love. She called it the origin of love”

Kai sat back, absorbing the story. “That’s...incredible,” he said softly. “I’ve never heard anything like it.”

You smiled, a bittersweet expression crossing your face. “My mother had a way of making everything sound magical.”

Kai reached out and gently touched your hand. “She gave you a beautiful gift with those stories.”

You nodded. “I think my mother just needed something to hold onto. I think...” you paused, “I think she was a very broken woman. And that if she could find this one piece of herself then everything would come together and be fine.” You felt a tear run down your face. “She would always tell me that if I found my mate someday, the world would be right.” You brushed the tear away, the alcohol still bubbling in your blood. “So when I met my mate, I just accepted the bond right away. I didn’t even think twice about it. I didn’t think the bond could be wrong; I just thought that if I loved him hard enough, he would be kind. Or that if I was his missing piece, it would just take some time for him to settle.” You shook your head, sniffling slightly, crossing your arms over your chest. “It’s just a stupid story. She got it wrong.”

Kai scooted closer to you. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

You shrugged. “No reason to apologize. I was a child. I was a child when she told me that story, and I was a child when I accepted that bond. And now I have to live with that choice.”

Kai shook his head, looking downwards. “Does he know?”

“Who?” You asked, looking at Kai.

“Does your mate know where you are?”

You shook your head. “If he did, he would have come to take me back by now.”

Kai sat in silence, as did you, staring at the ceiling, trying to tame the tears that rolled down your cheeks.

“You said you met the High Lord? Is there nothing he could do?” Kai asked.

“I didn’t tell him,” you paused. “It wasn’t his concern.”

“It’s not your fault, Y/N. You shouldn’t have to live with this,” Kai pleaded.

“It was a foolish mistake. And believe me, I’ve looked into ways to split the bond. It’s not feasible.”

Kai sat for a second. “And you can still feel him?”

“Every day.” You blinked away another tear. “I can feel him scraping the inside of my mind, trying to get me to come home.”

“Do you talk to him?” he asked.

“I used to. Now I’ve stopped altogether.”

Kai nodded. “It’s not fair.”

You chuckled. “Out of all the unfairness in the world, my mated mistake is the least of the problems.”

Kai shook his head. “You’re allowed to be angry. And you’re allowed to say it’s not fair.”

You raised your brows. “I know. And I am angry. But I’ve seen a lot more hurtful things than to wallow in my own suffering anymore.”

Kai crawled over to you, positioning his chest slightly above your own. “Your suffering is important to me.” You looked up at him, his hair hanging down in his face. “I may not know it myself, and I may not be able to feel it, but never in a hundred lifetimes do you deserve to be tormented.”

You opened your mouth slightly, but Kai cut you off. “I don’t want to hear you deny it. I care about you, and I wish it could be different.”

“It can’t,” you said back.

“But it doesn’t mean I can’t wish it for you. Even if you’ve stopped.”

You smiled up at him, as his green eyes traced your own. Kai didn’t say anything, merely gazing down at you, his eyes softening slightly as he took one hand and ran his fingers through your hair. And then, without thinking, you started to laugh again, uncontrollably. Kai simply rolled his eyes and rolled off you onto his back.

“You’re a child,” he scolded you. You continued to laugh until your stomach ached and at some point, Kai joined in on your laughter, bellowing out joy until the late hours of the night.

To my lovely readers, I'm not apologizing for writing men into my world that I would throw myself at immediately. Throwing feminism to the wind, I will drop everything to wife that man up. And yet, I warn you to not get attached, because the only person who can hurt you is yourself... and also me..... @thatacotargirl @mcuamerica @lilah-asteria @florabelll @fightmedraco @marvelbros-oneshots @mariahoedt @quinzzelx @romantasyreader28 @minnieoo @mysteriouslydeafeningwerewolf @annabethgranger123 @krowiathemythologynerd @scatteredstardustt @romantacyreader28 @caroline-books @slytherintaco @sevikas-whore @sidthedollface2 @405rry @sleepylunarwolf @acourtofbatboydreams @quiettuba @julesofvolterra @skylarkalchemist @darling006