a-door-into-my-mind

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Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later

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Dame Maggie Smith as Muriel Donnelly The Second Best Exotic Marigold Hotel (2015)

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always blows my mind as a european when people talk about states like “yeah theres nothing in ohio/montana/wyoming/etc” because i look at a map like but. but theyre so big. every state could qualify as its own country what do you mean theres nothing there. and then i ask people from those states and theyre like “yeah theres nothing here” what do you mean theres nothing there!!!

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ideal ways for me to die

1. old age, peacefully in my sleep

2. after a long and illustrious career i am at a rooftop gala hosted in my honor. i am wearing a beautiful gown, holding a glass of red wine, standing by the railing. a scorned lover approaches and, after a passionate spat, they push me over the edge of the building. the wine glass goes flying, splattering their outfit in red as a visual metaphor for the blood on their hands. as i descend my gown flies around me like two beautiful wings, a bird in flight. a photographer on the street manages to take a photo before i hit the ground and that photo wins the pulitzer. a new york times think piece is released regarding whether or not it's moral to profit off a photo of someone's death. the think piece also wins a pulitzer.

3. sex accident.

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I sit beside the fire and think of all that I have seen, of meadow-flowers and butterflies in summers that have been; of yellow leaves and gossamer in autumns that there were, with morning mist and silver sun and wind upon my hair. I sit beside the fire and think of how the world will be when winter comes without a spring that I shall ever see. For still there are so many things that I have never seen: in every wood in every spring there is a different green. I sit beside the fire and think of people long ago, and people who will see a world that I shall never know. But all the while I sit and think of times there were before, I listen for returning feet and voices at the door.

J.R.R. Tolkien, from The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

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Every time I rewatch The Lord of the Rings I oscillate violently between “it’s important to show men having close, supportive friendships and I’m so glad Peter Jackson chose to show all the male characters being loving and physically affectionate with one another in a healthy, platonic way” and “damn, these bitches gay. good for them, good for them”

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