a-drowned-rat

[a-drowned-rat]

Sci-Fi Dividers 🛸

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Please reblog if you use | masterlist | coffee? ☕️

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Mt. Rainier National Park, Washington, USA by Doug Shearer

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From: @xlavenderharmony

For: @fairysdarkestnight

Happy holidays!

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Dinámica que se originó en Twitter: personajes de anime elegidos por otros, tomando mate 🧉

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WHATS THIS?!? 9 NEW NEZUSHI STICKERS AVAILABLE FOR PREORDER AT THE END OF THE WEEK??

Happy to finally share what I’ve been working on recently!

Here’s a rough size guide:

1 ☆ Ratboy Nezumi (2.5 in.) 2 ☆ Shion Ketchup (2.5 in.) 3 ☆ Sleepy Nezushi (4 in.) 4 ☆ Drunk Shion (3 in.) 5 ☆ Nezushi Dancing (3 in.) 6 ☆ Nezushi Animals (3 in.) 7 ☆ Tiny Nezumi (2. in.) 8 ☆ Tiny Shion (2 in.) 9 ☆ Summer Fun (4 in.)

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From: @warmmarmalade

To: @xwhenyouwakeupx

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From: kerminty

To: @glorifiedscapegoat

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Happy holidays @kiyomizuki, I hope you enjoy your gift. Because you mentioned that you would love to see fluffy reunion things I drew Shion and Nezumi getting something from Karan’s bakery after reuniting because I thought I would be cute ^.^

From: @daroble (I don’t use tumblr a lot so you can find me on twitter as Da_Roble_)

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Trying my hand at writing actual fanfiction. Do I regret it? Maybe. Does it exist now? Yeah. I rushed it a bit but that’s what happens when ao3 drafts delete a month after you make them. And for once I’m writing something more fictional.

Can you read it? Sure, if you want to. 

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being gender nonconforming is great bc straight people think i'm edgy and intimidating but lgbt people see me and immediately think i'm friend shaped :)

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immm 4 episodes into no. 6! i like to make my first drawings of characters really questionable generic headshots

please click it it looks a lot cooler when u click on i t,

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No. 6 Wallpapers → Requested by Anonymous

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them...

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i’ve started reading the novels! 

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He’s Not Okay

NOTE: In case you ever wondered what happened after I left Shion. Well, some of it anyways. I don’t have the mental strength to write it all now.

It was cold, colder than cold, but Nezumi had to remember that he was outside. Of course it would be freezing like this. He missed the warmth of his old home but there was no turning back now. He imagined if he faced that boy now he’d get a good slap or more before they were able to talk about anything. He’d been done for maybe a few months at this point, almost a year. It wasn’t that long in the grand scheme of things, especially given his intention was only to be gone for a year, but he knew it wouldn’t be taken well. He could only hope that someone was there for that kid, some more stable than him. He sighed, running his fingers though his now slightly longer hair, this was not what he wanted to be thinking about. He took this journey to get away from the thoughts that plagued him, to clear his head and make sense of all the thoughts whirring around within him. But no, no matter where he went, all he ever thought about was Shion.

Why are you the only thing on my mind ever?

What was he doing? How mad was he? Was Nezumi going to get legitimately attacked by that boy when he returned? How were things? Would he forgive him? Was giving him time the right answer? Was it for him or himself? Was what they had short-lived? Was it all some imagined fantasy? What if...

“That’s...” Nezumi managed to speak aloud for the first time in hours, having walked in dead silence up until this point, “Hah...”

Pushing his thoughts away and looking out ahead of himself, he found himself in a place that looked similar to West Block, but it wasn’t, he could feel it. He was far from his old stomping ground. This was, if he was not mistaken, and Nezumi was hardly ever wrong about locations, near another biome: No. 3, he guessed by the numerals he’d seen on some trucks earlier. He felt a soft nudge at his leg and looked down to see a Labrador of some kind, black, dust-covered, and tired. Ah, was it time again, he thought. Alright, let’s see what Inu’s latest update for him was.

“And you are?” he asked the dog in a knowing tone.

A soft bark answered the rat’s question.

“Alright then, what do you have for me?”

The dog shook its body and nudged its head at Nezumi. Noticing the bandana-like scarf on the dog, Nezumi reached and took it off. Inside, it had been wrapped to make a makeshift sack, was a folded piece of paper and what seemed like a kind of newspaper clipping that was roughly cut from a bigger piece of paper. They printed on paper again now? Weird, time were changing. He looked at the clipping first, in big black letters it read something he had always expected but didn’t think would happen so quickly.

Shion, the new head of the No. 6 Council.

He always was a city boy, Nezumi thought, moving to Inukashi letter as he sat leaned against a random tree in the area. The dog sat at his feet, waiting for the reply to take back to Inukashi and probably also a snack. Payment was always food. The passerby ignored him mostly. He was thankful for that. He didn’t care much for idle chatter, or people for that matter. Unfolding the paper, he read the messy handwriting that was so recognizable as his old colleague’s. He was kind of fond of that dog, if he admitted it. But, no, he wasn’t the time to outright say his feelings like that, much to his own annoyance about such things.

Rat boy, I know I keep saying you need your space and stuff, but you need to come back to us. Shion’s not doing so hot. He needs you. He’s not okay. I lie for you and I lie for him. I tell Shion I don’t know if you’re okay or alive, I tell you that Shion’s fine. Well, you’re alive and out there somewhere and he needs you. You can’t just leave him. He’s your airhead white-haired kid, not mine. Stop making me babysit the new leader of a country or city or whatever this weird tech place is supposed to be. I’m warning you, Nezumi, you better come back. He might be a little mad, but he needs you more than he’d willing to admit with his stubbornness and you need him too. It’s weird not seeing you two together. You used to be glued together practically. Come back. You’ve been gone long enough. Please, this is the one time I’ll ask you for something. Do it, for him. You have to. Don’t make me come and get you.

You heard me!

Inukashi

Nezumi looked at the words on the page and then at the dog next to him. That dog really was pointing it all out, weren’t they? They knew, didn’t they. They could tell from his messages, from how much he asked after that boy. He missed him, he was aware of it but hated being honest about the feeling. He never really stopped thinking about him. Sighing, he refolded the letter and put it into his jacket pocket. He’d have quite some explaining to do if he came back.

He’d been gone so long. Part of him thought, worried even, that Shion would just move on and forget about him. Another part worried he wouldn’t. He knew that regardless of whatever other feelings that boy had, he would probably be angry at how long Nezumi had been gone. That would be... fun. Nezumi almost laughed softly as he walked deeper into the makeshift city he was in. The black Labrador followed behind him, tail wagging, a friendly younger dog then.

“I need to get you something to eat...” he told the dog before pausing, “Actually, I suppose I should get enough for a pretty long trip, huh.”

Nezumi sighed internally. Inukashi would never let him live it down that he decided to return after their letter reached him. Maybe he could leave that part out. He was using some of his saved money from old theater work to pay for some bread. He was sure that when he got back things would be a little chaotic. Hell, wasn’t Shion taking care of that baby they found?

He was thinking about this and giving the man some coins for the bread when he heard a siren that was all too similar. Quickly, he snatched the bread, dropped the coins, and ran, dragging the dog with him on impulse, far too used to keeping track of an additional body while on getaways.

Running, they didn’t get far. A man in a suit of armor, or that’s what it looked like, came with a few solider-looking men. They scattered into the city, grabbing people at random it seemed. Was there no system? They were killing these people for sport. Nezumi knew he had to get away. No. 3, it seemed, was just as insane as No. 6 had been before Elyurias or Safu... Nezumi still wasn’t quite sure what had happened in that situation. It was very odd, all of it was. 

He didn’t have time to think about it. He was still running, ducking into hiding places that were being blown about by what he could only assume were a kind of newly engineered grenade. He didn’t have time to think about it but he remembered Shion once telling him that No. 6 was the most advanced biome, but the newest scientific innovations were being made in the earlier-made, richer, biomes. He tried to stay focused but it was difficult to switch gears from casually food shopping, trading, and preparing for a journey and literally running for your life. His travels had been peaceful for a year, he now remembered how on-edge he’d used to be about everything. For good reason, he noted. For reasons like this. Precisely this.

“Hh, fuck,” he swore under his breath as he felt himself get scrapped by something, he couldn’t tell what it was exactly: a bullet or something else.

The dog whimpered loudly and Nezumi knew who had been hit. He saw the dog stumble. He felt... bad for it. It was young and loyal. He wanted to help it, but surely that would get him killed. In his momentary pause to think about this, he felt something around his ankles and himself being pulled to the ground. Those bastards. One of them threw a bolas at him, immobilizing him quickly.

Nezumi tried to crawl away, hearing the dog growl and try to, unsuccessfully, attack the men in its injured state. Another loud whine and the sound of gunshots signaled that Nezumi’s newly made canine companion was no more. His attempts to pull himself forward continued until he felt a boot on his spine, a sharp prick, then dizziness. He heard voices but couldn’t tell who was saying what. Were they talking to him or each other? What was happening? He tried to make sense of their words.

“He’s one of them, those people that the ones from six talked about.”

“He is...?”

“We should bring him to Dr. Rohan.”

“Yes, we should—” was the last thing he heard, then nothingness.

When he awoke, it was fuzzy, black on the edges of his vison. He looked up at this blinding light. The facility? He looked around, blank walls. Where was he? Footsteps, he heard footsteps, brisk ones. A man walked in wearing a white coat carrying a clipboard and a pen. He was just like them. “Hello, you may refer to me as Dr. Rohan,” the man said.

Nezumi let his shoulders fall in defeat. There was no getting out of this one. Inukashi would think he was dead without a reply. Returning was not an option, he had thought this before, but now it truly was unavailable to him. The doctor prodded at him, looking at him like an object. This was his life, a lab rat again. Or rather, a prisoner to the biomes. A slave to No. 3: Helios.

I’m really sorry, you know. This is all my fault.

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❝許して❞

If I have to make a list of things I cannot say, this would be at the top of it. The phrase would be “許して” (yurushite). If I said that, what would it mean? I’d rather say “許してじゃない” (yurushite janai) but I both do not know if that is grammatically correct and don’t have the authority to tell anyone how to feel. I lost any right to know your emotions a long time ago. I know that.

And I don’t want to make this about me. It’s not and it never was. It’s my fault, sure, but I don’t want forgiveness. I don’t think I deserve that. I left, it was my decision and a stupid one. I told you to forget about me in a hope that something would change while also desperately holding onto the idea that nothing would change. And then I was surprised when it all fell apart before my eyes.

I want to apologize without wanting you to accept it. I want to say I’m sorry without feeling like these words are some attempt at manipulation. I don’t want anything in return. You don’t have to accept this, you don’t have to forgive me, hell, you don’t even have to listen if you don’t want to. You don’t owe me anything. You did everything right. I was the one who threw it away.

For that, I am sorry. I’m sorry I left. I’m sorry I was never clear about my feelings. I’m sorry I didn’t say what was going on, that I lied to you and urged others to do the same as I desperately tried to get away from something that wasn’t real, something that was all in my head. Running from nothing was pathetic, and in doing so I did give up the one real thing I had in this world.

The last thing I ever wanted was to cause pain, but in the end, I did. I brought this upon myself and I hope that at least I can make things clear now. That I do care, that I did love you, and that fear is a stupid emotion to have. 

I’m sorry for anything and everything I ever did wrong.

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(don’t repost) memory of two