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i remade

i’m at @a-ho-never-forgets now

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i remade

i’m at @a-ho-never-forgets now

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i remade

i’m at @a-ho-never-forgets now

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before this site self destructs follow me on insta @g0ffie and here also @g0ffie

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Bella Hadid via Instagram

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My Pre-Date Get Ready Routine

If you’re extra AF like myself, and are looking to really impress someone and show up with your absolute best face forward…take note. 

Let’s say your date is on Saturday, ok? 

On Wednesday- deep exfoliate your body. I use a sugar scrub and an exfoliating mitt. Don’t forget to scrub your feet, too! And moisturize with a thick body butter after - I recommend to do this everyday, though. Soft skin is key. 

On Thursday- self tan! I love St. Tropez for a healthy glow. I’m pretty pale with warm blonde hair, so having a tan makes me feel like a million bucks. I always put it on overnight, but I make sure I can chill for about an hour before going to bed just to let it fully drive. 

On Friday- hair and face mask. For my hair, I recently started using It’s a Ten miracle hair mask. And let me tell you, it truly is a miracle worker. The leave in conditioner is also amazing af. For my face, I first use an exfoliating skin mask and then a hydrating mask. Then moisturize afterwards with a thick moisturizer. 

Day of the date: Saturday:

This is an extremely necessary step: have a playlist. No joke, I put on my favourite playlist and blast it. Feel good before you even begin to start getting ready. And if this requires an hour dance party by yourself in your living room, then so be it. 

Next, I always start with having an outfit. Most likely I have thought about it days before so I can pick something up if I need to. But I always lay it out on a hanger and spray the perfume I’ll be wearing that night before. I don’t know if this does anything, but I just want the scent to seep into the clothing. 

I’ll do my hair before my makeup IF I’m curling my hair so by the time I leave it’ll be nice and loose and messy. IF I’m straightening my hair, I’ll do my face first. 

Makeup wise- I love a dewy, flawless face with an extremely well blended contour and peachy pink cheeks and a tiny hint of gold toned highlight at the highest point of my cheekbones. My eyes have a neutral brown shadow blend and either a dark dark brown or black eyeshadow as eyeliner (I find this makes it look more smokey and sexy)  My lips will have a patted-on nude lipstick and right before I leave will have a very thin nude gloss overtop. 

Put your outfit on and see if you can apply a tiny bit of highlight on any areas that are exposed. (ex. off the shoulder top= me putting highlight at the sides of my shoulders and collar bones. button down blouse= slightly shimmer highlight over my chest - focusing on collar bones) 

Spray perfume on your collar bones and wrists and that’s it. Since it’s on your clothes from earlier, you do not need to douse yourself in perfume. Please. 

And that, my friends, is how I get extra ready for someone I want to impress. Someone once told me “When you look good, you feel good. And when you feel good, you do good.” And I apply this to every area of my life. 

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Right now, I’m sifting through 50+ applications for a new entry-level position. Here’s some advice from the person who will actually be looking at your CV/resume and cover letter:

‘You must include a cover letter’ does not mean ‘write a single line about why you want this position’. If you can’t be bothered to write at least one actual paragraphs about why you want this job, I can’t be bothered to read your CV.

Don’t bother including a list of your interests if all you can think of is ‘socialising with friends’ and ‘listening to music’. Everyone likes those things. Unless you can explain why the stuff you do enriches you as a person and a candidate (e.g. playing an instrument or a sport shows dedication and discipline) then I honestly don’t care how you spend your time. I won’t be looking at your CV thinking ‘huh, they haven’t included their interests, they must have none’, I’m just looking for what you have included.

Even if you apply online, I can see the filename you used for your CV. Filenames that don’t include YOUR name are annoying. Filenames like ‘CV - media’ tell me that you’ve got several CVs you send off depending on the kind of job advertised and that you probably didn’t tailor it for this position. ‘[Full name] CV’ is best.

USE. A. PDF. All the meta information, including how long you worked on it, when you created it, times, etc, is right there in a Word doc. PDFs are far more professional looking and clean and mean that I can’t make any (unconscious or not) decisions about you based on information about the file.

I don’t care what the duties in your previous unrelated jobs were unless you can tell me why they’re useful to this job. If you worked in a shop, and you’re applying for an office job which involves talking to lots of people, don’t give me a list of stuff you did, write a sentence about how much you enjoyed working in a team to help everyone you interacted with and did your best to make them leave the shop with a smile. I want to know what makes you happy in a job, because I want you to be happy within the job I’m advertising.

Does the application pack say who you’ll be reporting to? Can you find their name on the company website? Address your application to them. It’s super easy and shows that you give enough of a shit to google something. 95% of people don’t do this.

Tell me who you are. Tell me what makes you want to get up in the morning and go to work and feel fulfilled. Tell me what you’re looking for, not just what you think I’m looking for.

I will skim your CV. If you have a bunch of bullet points, make every one of them count. Make the first one the best one. If it’s not interesting to you, it’s probably not interesting to me. I’m overworked and tired. Make my job easy.

“I work well in a team or individually” okay cool, you and everyone else. If the job means you’ll be part of a big team, talk about how much you love teamwork and how collaborating with people is the best way to solve problems. If the job requires lots of independence, talk about how you are great at taking direction and running with it, and how you have the confidence to follow your own ideas and seek out the insight of others when necessary. I am profoundly uninterested in cookie-cutter statements. I want to know how you actually work, not how a teacher once told you you should work.

For an entry-level role, tell me how you’re looking forward to growing and developing and learning as much as you can. I will hire genuine enthusiasm and drive over cherry-picked skills any day. You can teach someone to use Excel, but you can’t teach someone to give a shit. It makes a real difference.

This is my advice for small, independent orgs like charities, etc. We usually don’t go through agencies, and the person reading through the applications is usually the person who will manage you, so it helps if you can give them a real sense of who you are and how you’ll grab hold of that entry level position and give it all you’ve got. This stuff might not apply to big companies with actual HR departments - it’s up to you to figure out the culture and what they’re looking for and mirror it. Do they use buzzwords? Use the same buzzwords! Do they write in a friendly, informal way? Do the same! And remember, 95% of job hunting (beyond who you know and flat-out nepotism, ugh) is luck. If you keep getting rejected, it’s not because you suck. You might just need a different approach, or it might just take the right pair of eyes landing on your CV.

And if you get rejected, it’s worthwhile asking why. You’ve already been rejected, the worst has already happened, there’s really nothing bad that can come out of you asking them for some constructive feedback (politely, informally, “if it isn’t too much trouble”). Pretty much all of us have been hopeless jobseekers at one point or another. We know it’s shitty and hard and soul-crushing. Friendliness goes a long way. Even if it’s just one line like “your cover letter wasn’t inspiring" at least you know where to start.

And seriously, if you have any friends that do any kind of hiring or have any involvement with that side of things, ask them to look at your CV with a big red pen and brutal honesty. I do this all the time, and the most important thing I do is making it so their CV doesn’t read exactly like that of every other person who took the same ‘how-to-get-a-job’ class in school. If your CV has a paragraph that starts with something like ‘I am a highly motivated and punctual individual who–’ then oh my god I AM ALREADY ASLEEP.

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Reminders

*You can text first sometimes

*Those stretchmarks are no reason for you to not have fun 

*Drinking water makes you fell 150% better

*Don’t change your life for that boy or girl, your dreams still come first

*Sometimes you need to be firm about the things you truly want

*Deleting that number will feel cathartic

*It’s ok to take risks sometimes

*You should approach that person, they’d probably make a great friend

*It’s ok to like things that aren’t mainstream. It’s ok to like things that are mainstream.

*Learning is actually amazing

*Beauty does radiate from within

*Cutting your hair can be refreshing

*It’s ok to be your age without a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner

*Be unapologetic about the things you love. If it makes you happy it isn’t lame

*You deserve to be here just as much as everyone else does

*You’re capable of so much, you just need to believe in yourself

*Nobody has it all figured out

*Everyone makes mistakes

*You are loved

*You are a masterpiece.

*If you truly want that thing, you need to put your mind to it and plan and you’ll get it

*Try to let the negativity go

*You’re beautiful, inside and out

*You deserve it all

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it’s time to stop waiting to experience life. don’t wait to be at a perfect weight so you can go to the beach or wear a pretty dress or accept invitations to places. dont wait for summer to plan adventures for yourself, take pictures of your friends or glow up into your dream self. don’t wait for the perfect moment to say kind thoughts that pop into your head. don’t wait for a flash of inspiration to learn a new language, complete your assignment, or write the first excerpt of your book. don’t wait for the confidence to sign up for something great that thrills you yet terrifies you, especially when no one else seems to believe in you. don’t wait for the courage to confess your love to the person who makes your day glow the softest pink, or turn away from a person whose words cut you deeply and make you feel worthless at night. don’t wait for the weekend to do little things that make you feel happy. give permission for yourself to enjoy every day, and every moment, just as you are.

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F*ck Him: Nice Girls Always Finish Single

Summary: 

A high-value woman knows her way around men, regardless of whether or not she’s good looking. 

High-value women repel bad men, or men who won’t bring anything to the table in a relationship.

Men are repelled by the ‘nice girl’ or ‘good girl’ because:

She’s looking for the one, and she thinks she’s found him in her new partner.

She’s led by the belief to accept less than exemplary behavior in hopes that he will one day change (not happening).

She tries to impress him, often overcompensating by being overly nice and appeasing, driven by the belief that she’s not worth enough. It should be the other way around.

Your actions define how valuable you are.

Never seek a man’s approval.

Never let a man call all the shots.

The high-value woman doesn’t play games. She considers herself to be a prize, one he needs to chase after.

High value women have more important things to do than to chase after a man, regardless of whether it’s mundane or not.

Mental fucking:

Two important rules to remember: 

Never share your body with him too soon. You will fall in love too hard, and way too soon.

Mentally fuck him as soon as you can: creating a challenge will force him to look past your looks.

First impressions are critical towards cultivating the impression of high value.

If you want him to treat you like a queen, act like a queen right out of the gate.

How to mentally fuck a guy:

Decide what you feel are just feelings, which come and go, rather than falling head over heels for him.

Want a relationship, but not just any relationship. Be happy to stay single for as long as necessary.

Neediness comes from natural instincts.

You never need a man or a relationship.

She consciously wonders, “Is this the best guy to give my time to?”

“If this guy never changed, would I really want to be with him ten or twenty years from now?”

She knows she doesn’t need her looks to get a great guy.

Setting the rules:

After the first date, she doesn’t reach out. She’s busy with her life.

She’ll see when and if she contacts her again. She isn’t willing to spend time on a guy who isn’t putting in the work she deserves.

She never behaves like a bitch. Instead, she has a take it or leave it mentality.

The first couple weeks of interaction set the stage.

Whatever is set is difficult to change later. Create the right habits as soon as you can.

For ambitious men who want success, they work for what they want:

That’s why high-value women are so attractive. Her standards are not an act. It is the only acceptable way.

Three most important traits:

She’s a queen, and she has a lot of self-respect, regardless of what anyone else thinks.

He is not the center of her life.

She never, ever pursues him. If he seems to lose interest, she withdraws. She has better things to do. 

Managing men:

Is he playing games?

When he says he’ll call and doesn’t - this places the ball in his court.

Right way to respond: don’t care. Don’t even become fazed when he steps back. 

You can find a guy who cares and does better.

Creating distance by disappearing.

Right way to respond: Put energy into your passions, interests, and other men you start dating.

Men who are not sufficiently interested will disappear.

Claiming he’s not ready for a relationship: a phrase used to create space and lead women on.

Right way to respond: Say, “Take all the time you need. I’m not sure about you either.” 

Respond with low investment by even lower investment. 

Never consider him nor the relationship as important as he does. 

Counter-intuitive way of getting him to do what you want: 

Give him the feeling it was his own decision. If he comes to the conclusion, he will stand by it.

Reinforce good behavior. Ignore him when he shows bad behavior. Consider him less important.

Ignore him when he doesn’t add value to your life to train him. 

If you want a man to do something, ask another man to help you, or tell him you’ll take care of it.

Men are governed by their own egos.

The more you need him, the less he will want you. The more you want him, the more he will need you.

Don’t show him you need him. Have extra activities, so he won’t become the center of your life.

Work on your mental strength. The more you try not to lose him because you need him, the higher the probability he will eventually leave.

Ideal praise to criticism ratio in relationships is 5 to 1.

Avoid getting played:

High-value women are in short supply. Make men earn your attention.

Your emotions are never to be trusted.

Establish a strong set of boundaries. 

Self-respect is #1. 

Men always treat you the way you allow to. They cannot respect a woman more than she respects herself. 

When his attention declines: do the same and withdraw.

A man should never, ever be totally sure that you unconditionally love him. For if he is, he will move on to the next item in his hierarchy of needs.

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The Full Potential Challenge

Ever wonder what your life would be like if you lived up to your full potential? Would your body be healthier? Your skin clearer? Bank account bigger? I think about these things all the time, and, judging my a previous post, you guys do to. Below is a chart designed to help all of us live up to our full potential. I’ve broken it down into time frames to help keep you from getting overwhelmed. Write the chart down and hang it someplace where you can see it all the time. I will be starting this challenge tomorrow, 9/8. I’ll check in with you guys every Sunday to track my progress. I have specific goals in mind for myself, and you guys should make some too! I really want to know how you guys are doing. Tag your progress posts with #sbfpc so I can track it and take a look. Let’s get to it!

EVERY MORNING

Stretch. First thing. Really give your body enough time to wake up. Touch your toes. Roll out your shoulders. Do not hit snooze!

Do your full skincare routine. I have mine detailed here, but do whatever works for you and your complexion. Be gentle and consistent. 

Brush your teeth and floss. I used to be a big floss-skipper too, but you’d be amazed at how dig of a difference it makes. Rinse with a whitening mouthwash. I use one by Crest, and I notice a major difference in my teeth’s overall whiteness in just a few days.

Give yourself enough time to get ready. Whether you’re a wash-and-go kind of girl, or someone who spends an hour doing a full contouring routine before class (and either one is fine!), make sure you aren’t rushing. If you need to wake up a few minutes earlier than normal, so be it. Rushing sets an awful, stressed-out tone for the rest of the day. Allow yourself to be relaxed before taking on the day.

Eat something. I’m not going to say eat a big breakfast, because some people (myself included) just can’t eat in the morning. But you should eat, or at least bring a little something with you to work or school. If you can’t eat a full breakfast, grab a fruit! You won’t be as hungry come lunch time, making you less likely to gorge yourself.

Shower. You can do this at night, in the morning, whatever. Again, this is something you should allow some time for. I don’t wash my hair every day, but I do condition it every day (from the ears down). Scrub yourself with a delicious-smelling body wash. If you shave, make yourself as smooth as a dolphin, dude. If you don’t, then don’t and don’t ever ever ever let anyone make you feel bad or weird about it. When you get out of the shower, wrap yourself in a fluffy towel and totally slather your sexy self with lotion. Top to bottom. Do it as soon as you can post-shower so it can really sink in. 

Put leave-in condition throughout your damp hair and comb it through.

Put on an outfit that makes you feel good! So important!

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Take a look at your daily to-do list. Knock out the most pressing stuff first. Take pride when you cross things off your list.

Make your bed! Oh my god, make your bed. Do it. Do it. Do it. 

EVERY AFTERNOON 

Follow the “touch it once” approach. This is a truly life-changing thing. When a task is in front of you, no matter how big or small, just do it right then and there. How many times have you gotten a work email or homework assignment and thought, “Eh, I’ll do it later”? And then later never comes? Once something pops up, do it once. Squash it and be done. Cross things off your list and feel like a badass.

Try to go for a walk at lunch. Even one little lap around the block or campus will reenergize you like nobody’s business. 

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Be present. This is so hard for me too, but you have to make a major effort to be present in whatever you’re doing. Be engaged and plugged-in and just exist in the moment. Give 100 percent.

Be friendly to friends and strangers. A smile goes a long way.

Eat something. Eat what you packed for lunch (see below) and take a break from working while you do it. You need “you time”!

EVERY EVENING

Take your makeup off as soon as you’re in for the night. Wash your face with your full routine and let your skin have a break. 

Workout. You can also do this in the morning. Whatever works for you. Make a great playlist and go hard af. Get your cardio in. Get your strength training in. Earn every freaking sweat bead forming on your forehead. Earn your shower!

Knock out your homework. Life is infinitely better you don’t have anything hanging over your head. Half the time, the energy and emotion you spent dreading/putting off your work is ten times worse than the work itself.

Make a list of what needs to be done tomorrow. It’ll set you up for success the next day, and you won’t forget anything!

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Lay out your clothes for tomorrow. This will save you SO MUCH TIME in the morning omg I can’t even tell you how important this is.

Eat something great. And once you’ve decided to be done eating for the night, be done. Brush your teeth so you can’t eat again.

After brushing, do a whitening treatment. Whether it’s classic baking soda, a Crest white strip, or a laser. Do something. And floss! Retainers in too, ladies 0:)

Relax! Take a few hours to do what YOU want to do. Scroll through Tumblr, binge on some Netflix, FaceTime gossip with your friends, anything. Do whatever makes you happiest. 

Shut the electronics off an hour before you want to go to bed. Put your phone on sleep mode. If you stare at the screen, it will keep you awake and alert and you won’t be able to fall asleep. A good night’s sleep is crucial for weightless and general happiness lol

Do a quick sweep of your room and see if there’s anything you can put away real quick. A clean space is a happy space.

Crawl into your bed (aren’t you happy you took the time to make it?!) and read a book by lamplight for a while. When you start to feel sleepy, go to sleep. Don’t push it. You kicked ass today and you deserve rest. 

EVERY WEEKEND

Do something with your friends. It just has to be one thing. Even if you’re just hanging out at the coffee shop, spending time with your squad will make you a better, happier person.

Drink water. Drink water. Drink water. Drink water!!!!!

Do something just for you. Set your laptop up in the bathroom and watch a Netflix marathon while you take a bubble bath. Buy an old school bottle of Mr. Bubbles ($3 at Target!) and really just soak. Relax. Light a candle.

Do something creative. You can read a book, write, blog, draw, code, anything. It just has to be something that speaks to your passion.

Track your progress. Just do this once a week so it doesn’t become all-consuming. And remember that non-scale victories are just as important as shedding pounds.

Take the time to be grateful. Tell your friend how much you admire her taste in music. Mention to your mom how much you love her cooking and how happy you are that she takes care of you. Thank your teaching after an especially interesting lecture. When you do something awesome, take a moment to admire yourself. Be grateful for even the little things.

Anything I missed? Reblog + add yours! Don’t forget to tag your progress!

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Summer reminder to get out there more

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Spicy Mami, Hot Tamale ♨️💅🏿🌶 #JunieBeeNails