a-lewd-rat

[a-lewd-rat]

I fucking hate the weekends so fucking bad.

[a-lewd-rat]

Maybe my sleeping meds will just kill me. Wouldn't be so bad. Go out like him.

[a-lewd-rat]

Wish I mattered.

[a-lewd-rat]

I may never be a girl in a meaningful sense, but at least I can still make myself bleed.

[a-lewd-rat]

Fuck it. I’m probably not getting bottom surgery anyways. Doubly so if I die. Who cares anymore.

[a-lewd-rat]

I know it’s incredibly pathetic to vent like this online. I promise that if I had literally any other outlet I’d be using it.

[a-lewd-rat]

My current thought pattern is trying to figure out how I could severely traumatize one of my eyes while making it look like an accident.

[a-lewd-rat]

I wish anything I felt mattered at all. It’s just stupid fucking neurons and none of its real though. Who even cares what happens in my brain when it never affects anyone else. It’s just stupid worthless me.

[a-lewd-rat]

I wish I had a single reason to live that felt tangible and real. Can’t even live for being a girl anymore. The few happy spots are brief and months if not years away. I’m so fucking tired and exhausted and I just. Can’t do it. I’m pretty sure I’m one of those girls who just doesn’t make it. Wish someone would just make it easy on me and kill me. Suicide is way too much work.

[a-lewd-rat]

Guess I’ll just rot.

[a-lewd-rat]

I know it’s excessively greedy of me but I really wish I had more than one person I felt safe around, and that I didn’t fall to pieces the second zes gone. I’m so fucking lonely.

[a-lewd-rat]

I hate that this is just a fucking vent blog now. I don't feel safe expressing sexually online at all, and I've been way too miserable to be horny independent of my partner. It fucking sucks and I'm tired of being this way.

[a-lewd-rat]

[REDACTED.]

[a-lewd-rat]

Jesus christ I'm shit at everything I do.

[a-lewd-rat]

Halojob tonight angel?

[a-lewd-rat]

People who did you the disservice of birthing you really will emotionally abuse you for 20+ years and then make "being a mom" their whole identity, while continuing not to give a shit about you.

[a-lewd-rat]

People's discord bios will look like this:

And then they'll dox you for watching the wrong anime. Holy fucking shit. You've lost the plot.