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[a-questionable-grimoire]

“This is not my age, boy.

In my age, the sea roared. The air sang.

The flame of the torch and hearth whispered sweet words with their crackles and the desert was little but glass, melting, breaking and fusing again under the might of its lords.

The mountains laughed and glimmered so jovially then, but now they are little but cynics and stoics rotting in the cold. I can only teach you a sliver of the world’s magic, Hydaspes, because I do not feel their roars or singing or crackles or guffaws.

They hide, and hope. Your age is ever so quiet.”

- Noelani ten Ragam*, as quoted by Marsdon ten Noelani, 1st Year at Etamalut Institute

* I am hesitant to believe this claim, as Mr. Marsdon claimed his mentor was a sea elemental. Successful Sea Elementals summoning have not been recorded in any documents in fourteen hundred years.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Necromantic Engineering 2: Interview

“Gah! Are you unfamiliar with the concept of personal space? At least knock! What if I hadn’t been decent?

“The likelihood of my being nude in my workshop is irrelevant, the point stands! Whatever. More importantly, why are you barging in while I’m working?

“Just some minor modifications to Daisy* here. I assume you’ve come in to document my process? So be it. It’s nothing exciting.

“The process begins with a spell. It’s one of the first you learn as one of my profession: Bonesculpt. A simple internal-external spell that alters flowless bone tissue that the caster touches.* This tissue can be molded like clay by the caster, and returns to a rigid form at the caster’s will. You may notice Daisy’s arms are thicker than yours or mine despite being made of bone. This is because several bones have been assimilated into it.

“I poured blood and sweat into Daisy’s design—not literally, mind you! I am no vitamancer—and spent dozens of hours more crafting it. Instead of a ribcage there are interlocking plates that provide far more protection and hide enchantments, and its horns were very carefully crafted—

“Humph. I suppose I am ranting. You did barge in here to interview me! Yes, yes, I’ll move on. As you can see, skeleton golems do not have ligaments. Therefore our next tool: Bonemooring. The names are derivative, I know. Instead of a spell, this is an enchantment and therefore one will need to know the fundamentals of enchanting to perform it.

“Two or more bones are carved with the enchantment*, which is in turn tinged with the caster’s mana*, and can stick together at any point on their surface. These bones can move as if on a ball and socket joint with the connection point as the socket in question. The bones form a web of connections that, if done correctly, form a skeleton.

“What comes next is the most underwhelming step: Animation. With your project assembled, it is time to give it… pseudo-life. Now, my dear scholar, please write this down good. Because I am sick of all the misinformation surrounding my profession.

“I do not summon souls to inhabit the project. I especially do not summon an amalgam of souls to do so. I do not perform elaborate rituals in which I insert an innocent sod’s mind into a construct. And, I swear to Vuldia, I do not coat my projects in the highly magical blood of elves to give them life!

“…I’m sorry. I let my emotions get the better of me. There have been so many lunatics with pitchforks that… I’m sorry. I shall… continue. Ahem. The animation process entails a series of enchantments allowing the construct to move in accordance to the will of the controller. Undead cannot move on their own, to clear up another bit of misinformation. Without direction, they do not move and will not react to outside stimuli. They have nothing resembling a mind, and such a thing is impossible to create.*

“Aside from physical form, enchantment complexity is the metric by which the quality of a construct is measured. Daisy here is a masterpiece. It can understand complex orders, and is inlaid with enchantments that allow it to react without my input. It will defend itself, defend me, receives orders up to seven kilometers away, knows how to utilize several weapons proficiently and more. If separated from me, we both know the other’s location up to fifty kilometers away.

“There we go. A minor alteration to its durability enchantment. Its skull will prove far harder to disconnect from the spine, and a good amount harder to fracture. Hope you’re satisfied with the impromptu lesson. Now get outta here, I’ve gotta work on a commission.”

- Umul Enayat, Mage. Necromantic Engineer & Co-Author.

* Umul’s bodyguard, a skeleton golem of his design 223 cm in height. Artist’s depiction below.

* Internal-external entails a spell that affects both the caster and their surroundings. For more details see page 342-345, Internal Magic versus External Magic & How They Interact

* Umul elaborated on this point at a later date. To prevent running out of space on the surface of a ‘project’, enchantments can be carved at various depths and then the Bonesculpt spell can be used to bury the enchantment deeper into the construct. Thus several enchantments can be layered on a single bone or hidden from view.

* Upon additional questioning, Umul explained that the creator can relinquish or grant command of the undead to another individual by giving them an item keyed to the construct’s enchantment web. Some mages keep secondary keys in case clients attempt to sic their own creations on them.

* At this point, Umul paused for around ten seconds and seemed to ponder on something. When questioned, he snapped at me and refused to answer any questions on the topic.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Necromantic Engineering 1: Rules

Co-Author’s Note: Excerpts taken from my old Necromantic Engineering notebook, in which I wrote down anything of interest or importance. First I will be chronicling the rules Professor Mancer advised following on the first day.

Rule 1: Don’t bring up that you are in Necromantic Engineering. If the subject of classes comes up, lie.

Rule 2: The bones used in Necromantic Engineering are ethically sourced, if anyone asks.

Rule 3: Don’t ask the Military Necromantic Engineering students what they do in class. You will not have the necessary stomach until the end of the semester.

Rule 4: Warping bones into the shape of genitalia is strictly forbidden. If I ever hear a ‘bone-er’ joke ever again, I will sic a Bone Drake on the perpetrator. The faculty will confirm this is not a bluff. *

Rule 5: By virtue of taking my class, you are automatically high on the Institute guards’ shit list. Avoid them as much as possible.

Rule 6: Wear black nail polish. This is not mandatory, but you’ll rarely find a necromancer who respects you without it. Highly advised for when you grovel at an Archmage’s doorstep.

Rule 7: Do NOT attempt to use bone constructs for vulgar or salacious activities! It does not end well, and I do not want to take responsibility for enabling such crude behavior. *

Rule 8: No bringing undead through campus without a permission slip. A priest of Vuldia saw a zombie in the halls last time someone did not get clearance, and the resulting mess took our janitors 3 days to clean.

Rule 9: Do not use your own bones in the creation of bone constructs. They are not recoverable, and you cannot simply ‘put another one in’. You may see my left hand is prosthetic. It will be your reminder.

Rule 10: Bones do not make good armor. Do not wear bone armor, and do not make animals wear bone armor. They will freak out.

Rule 11: Don’t ask other students where they get their bones. That is their personal life and they will tell you if they feel comfortable. This rule does not apply for humanoid cadavers, and I advise you report unauthorized zombies.

Rule 12: Have fun! *

————————————————————

* It was not. I’m not remorseful.

* I’m equally non-remorseful for helping Ehilnya to make the “Bone Zone”. It was funny.

* This rule was not followed, nor enforced. Professor, that final exam was horse droppings and you know it.

Author’s Note: I apologize for my co-author’s lack of professionalism. Unfortunately, the parchment was enchanted by said co-author and I cannot edit the already written contents.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

On The Topic of Deathlessness

“I must say, you were not the type of person I expected to breach my defenses. It’s rare that it happens at all, and even then it’s gold-seekers adorned in enough maladroit enchantments to make a Wizard sick.

“None, though, have made it so far as to reach my personal chambers without notice. I have three dozen wards set up to detect foreign magic within my stronghold. I have spike pits and pressure plates that spew fire, ballista traps and at least a hundred troops patrolling the hallways at all times. Tell me, how did you get through?

“You… I see. My tunnels. But… those are hidden with illusionism of density without peer in this lousy age. Mana Sight spells are counterintuitive by design, so how…? Well, it matters not. You have attempted to loot my abode, and the price you pay is capital punishment.

“You have come… for me? Haha, unlikely. None in the living world know of my residence. This claim shall be put to the test. *

“Ah… I see. I suppose I must be more careful of how information leaks out of this place. I suppose the book stealing was to garner my attention via ward activation, then? A rather reckless strategy, but I suppose it did work in your favor… *

“As you have come all this way to interview me, a rather flattering cause I must add, I suppose some questions can be answered. Be quick about it; I did not lock myself in a dank pit for centuries to wallow unproductively.

“Ahaha! A most mortal question to ask! It has been far too long since my own name has been spoken by any tongue. Phyrkec, I was known once. To you, ‘my lord’ or ‘eternal one’ will suffice. As for your second inquiry, yes. I find the term far too broad, though. Any ruler who extends their life a measly few decades could be classified as one of my ilk under such criteria. Next.

“Rather presumptuous, no? To assume a Wizard would so easily divulge their methods? I approve of your ambition, but you must temper it with caution. Not all ancient Wizard overlords are so kind. I see no harm in spoiling a guest, though.

“Many mortals rely on items to preserve their bodies. Amateurs, they are! To become imperishable while retaining one’s form is possible, but it is too much hassle for the sole purpose of retaining your mortal body. As you may have deducted, you gaze not upon the form I inhabited in life. I was in fact a dwarf many centuries ago! I must say this is preferable, ahaha.*

“I spent years crafting this body, imbuing this form with the finest enchantments of the age. It was painstaking labor, but in conjunction with my research I knew it would be worth the effort.

“Yes, I robbed graveyards for the parts. Irrelevant. The spell I used to transport my will and memories was of my own design: Transmigration. The only drawback I faced was needing to start over in terms of mana flow and reserve. Thankfully, I had already become a Wizard once and now I had all the time in the world.

“There are other methods. Metallic bodies with preservation enchantments, full disembodiment, pacts with greater beings. Immortality is quite possible, dear, as long as you know the ways to do it. Now hold still. *

“Worry not. This is simply a… precaution. What I’ve cast on you is a geas. As long as you accept the pact, you’re free to go. Because you’re endearing. The terms are simple: You cannot communicate my existence, location or the contents of our conversations to anyone via speaking, writing, visual or magical media. If you do not accept, you die.

“You’ve made the smart choice.* Now go, scholar, through the passages once more as to not get impaled by my guards. And do bring refreshments next time, I ran out of coffee beans last decade.”

- Phyrkec, Lich. Illusionism and Alteration-Focused Wizard.

* She extended a hand and a translucent orange field encompassed the room. I felt a slight tingle on my skin but no other effect. I would later learn this spell is known as Truthdredge.

* Don’t judge me. I thought the mage who owned this dungeon was long dead.

* Phyrkec is a Dylusian, or rather her body is. The opinions of the interviewee are not shared by the interviewer.

* She pressed a finger to my head and presumably casted either Minor Geas or Major Geas, though I assume the former due to her skill.

* My condition seems to have aided me in this circumstance. The moment she took her finger away, I could feel the Geas dissipate and knew there were no limits on my ability to communicate.

Author’s Note: Though not stated in this interview, I utilize the pronoun she in the footnotes because Phyrkec made explicit her gender on later excursions to the dungeon.

I will not expose the location of her abode, as I quite enjoy our chats over coffee.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

yeah gay wizard wednesday baby yeah fuckin it's one of my favorite nights because of gay wizard yeah fuckin wednesday night baby fuckin gay wizard yep gay wizard wednesday gay wizard wednesday who deserves gay wizard me I deserve gay wizard it's fuckin wednesday wednesday night gay wizard yeah closer to the weekend thursday the and then friday here comes the weekend here comes the weekend fuckin fuckin wednesday night gay wizard wednesday baby who deserves gay wizard me who deserves gay wizard me love gay wizard wizard wednesday baby fuckin gay wizard wednesday wednesday night baby gay wizard wednesday yeah

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Appendix: Lectures Attended At Etamalut Institute of External Magic

Author’s Note: Some of the following were singular lectures, others are courses. The amount of attended lectures for courses will be listed, as I had permission from the Institute to attend whatever lectures I pleased for the purposes of chronicling.

Ethical Sorcerous Experimentation

Talisman Inscription Essentials (6)

A Brief Chronology of Illusionism

Economic Impact of Geomancy

Guide to Avoiding Hedge Wizard Scams

Introduction to Military Application of Elegiac Magic (3)

Relativistic Illusionism* (1)

Divinatory Taxonomy (2)

Necromantic Engineering* (1)

Advanced Mana Manipulation (3)

Pyrotechnic Magery

High Alteration (7)

Military Necromantic Engineering* (1)

Legality of Magic Schools In Recent History

Basic Elegiac Magic (4)

Unethical & Illegal Alchemical Brews*

Potion Brewing 101 (5)

Elementals & How To Appease Them

Introduction to Elegiac Magic Battle Tactics (2)

Advanced Mana Sensing* (1)

Basic Mono-Planar Studies* (1)

History & Development of Enchanting* (13)

* This course is no longer available. The Professor’s example spell left 6 students unconscious, 4 babbling incoherently on the floor about eyes and space, 1 in a coma (which she recovered from) and the remaining 8 students in a trance-like state for 10-18 hours. The professor had his teaching license revoked.

* This class left me thoroughly shaken for the next several days. I had never thought bones could be molded in such a manner.

* I still have nightmares. Why did I attend this?

* This is a mandatory lecture for all students looking to attend Potion Brewing classes to inform students what they are forbidden from making and shall not learn to make in said classes. It consisted of a senior Alchemist reading the titles of potions, ointments and pills for 50 minutes. By the end, over half the attendees had left. Disturbing implications.

* I don’t know why I thought to attend this. A waste of time and spirit.

* Far too much jargon to understand. Not one attendee or professor would tell me what a “spell framework anti-warping anchor” was, and seemed amused at the question. Irritating.

* The professor of this course was aware of my condition, and would use drawn diagrams to highlight and explain different enchanting processes in an understandable fashion. I highly recommend the course.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Evocation Magic: Avengers of Ieyar & Oxakan

“The fire is high, and you are shivering. Come, come! We dine and drink together. We shall share of ourselves this lonely night. *

“I see. A most unfortunate predicament. As for me, retaliation is my purpose. I carry a blessing from the Red-Eyed Queen, as one her Avengers. That is the purpose of this marking on my cheek, where she touched me to grant said blessing.

“Hmm? Yes, she is far more personal than other gods. It is very rare for an Avenger to summon her first. The Serpent Lord comes in avatar form to those wronged and treated unfairly. She grants us power, and we give her ourselves. We evoke her blessing, and feel her generosity course through us. She is a caring patron, considerate of what abilities she grants and concerned for our wellbeing. Many times she has visited me in my dreams, or manifested by me in a time of despair.

“As a matter of fact, we can call upon her. As we are tied to Ieyar, it is far simpler than most evocations. We touch the mark on our cheek and pray, allowing our gifted mana to strengthen the connection. To her, we can deluge all and she grants us reassurance and guidance. On a few occasions, I have accidentally referred to her as ‘Mother’! Quite embarrassing, but she never comments on such a thing.

Now drink, my dear scholar. Here you sit under the revenge god’s blessing, and she is watchful indeed.”

- Myriil Shalee, Elven Avenger of Ieyar.

* I have elected to expunge the section of conversation related to myself, as it is irrelevant.

—————————————————

“Stop starin’ at me like that, ya (expletive*)! Getcher (expletive) over here ‘fore I knock yer teeth in.

“Should know better than t’ measure up a drunk man carryin’ an axe. It’s the beard, ain’t it? Lotsa folks stare, wondering how the hell someone got a tattoo on his beard.

“Damn right it’s a blessin’! But not from the snake, nah. Got this one from the other revenge god. She shoved (expletive) into his forehead ‘n’ and now he’s part-god, basically. I think. Quite a bit more irritable than the Queen, I’ve heard. Red-Eyed Prince, we call him, but I find his name, Oxakan, to be more fittin’. Guy’s buffer than a damned bull.

“What’s the difference between ‘em? Ieyar’s folks’ve told me that their dream visits are a treat. Conversation, tea, all that. Oxakan visits more often, but it’s for practice. We’re still at work when we’re conked out, honin’ our skills to (expletive) the (expletive) who wronged us. Swordfightin’, internal arts practice, lectures, the works. Sometimes I wake up feelin’ like I just spent a day getting my face beat in instead of sleeping.

“Evokin’? Ain’t many mages in my kin. I got an axe, not a wand, ya’d think that would be obvious. Ah, do ya mean callin’ on the big man himself? That’s… complicated. Last time I tried, he scolded me for being distracting while he was mid-fight. Plus, the blessings we get usually aren’t external-focused and it’s hard to push mana into the mark.

On the occasion he does answer, though? We’ve shared a drink. Got all sappy talkin’ ‘bout our pasts a couple times. Sparred, once. I got my dumb ass slammed into the dirt, obviously.

“Oi, what’re you giggling about? Mind outta the gutter! You got your answers, you skinny little (expletive). I got four more pints to go through, lemme enjoy ‘em in peace!”

- Roghran Lazgi, Dylusian Avenger of Oxakan

* I have decided to expunge the profanities from this interview, for the reasons that I am not comfortable writing them down and I feel no publisher would print a novel with such language. The removed expletives were usually 10-15 words in length, and referred excessively to either genitalia, violence, bodily fluids or all of the above.

Author’s Note: I have decided to include these interviews in the same section for the purpose of comparing and contrasting the magical behaviors of the revenge deities and how their followers invoke them.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Evocation Magic: Priests of Imton

“Good evening, child. Rare for one to come so late to our temple. With a voluntary offering, no less! But as we know better than all: Nothing comes free. What is your request this night?

“Knowledge of our ways... There is naught more valuable. Much as our patron, I am not typically the generous sort. But… I have a fondness for scholars. Sit with me.

“Our primary means of contact is pyromancy. Within the sanctum, where only priests may enter, there is a fire pit in which offerings are set. Jewels, gold, coins. Occasionally, a magical item. The walls of such a place are lined with carvings that display tales of glory and wealth. The floor draws in the mana of all mages present, and the room thrums like a heartbeat. We pray to the Queen of Gold to draw her attention, and oh, it is wondrous.

“The flames grow high and frigid as ice, and flare brilliant shades of silver and gold. Her presence presses down on all present, and we kneel before her. It is then that the highest-ranked or longest-serving priest in attendance inquires if the offering is sufficient, and if so, makes a request.

“Her presence, awash over all present like a weighted duvet, does not speak but we know our answer still. The replies seep into our beings. Depending on her decision, the priests either gather a superior offering or graciously accept the granted request. Upon a reward for our donation, we bow low with our knees to the floor until the fire returns to normal and her presence lifts.

“I do hope a look into our methods has been enlightening, child. May your days be glorious and fruitful.” *

- Rostam Kashkoui, Priest of the God of Wealth Imton.

* A ‘farewell’ phrase commonly exchanged between followers of Imton. Translated from Jappshi-ton, the sacred language of the priests.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Teleportation Magic: All You Need To Know

“Oh-ho-ho, now this is a good topic. Y’all hear that? We finally got a decent question in this classroom! Alright, fasten your belt, I got a lot to talk about.

“First. Of. All! Teleportation Magic is really hard. Even for experienced mages, it’s hard both to learn and practice. Main reason for this? The frameworks for teleportation spells are complex and taxing as hell. Like fillin’ out a tapestry with your mana.

“Of course, enchantments can make activation a breeze, but to make ‘em in the first place you’ll need a highly experienced teleportation and enchantment mage. Bit of a rare find. But one of the main reasons you’re unlikely to see teleportation magic often is how dangerous it is.

“Think about it for a sec. What are ya doin’ when you instantly transport yourself from one place to another? That’s right, you’re shifting your position in space. But what if you shift the space, and your calculations are off? Then you’re taking both yourself and a good portion of the environment around you.

“Obviously, since mana’s in just about everything, this severely disrupts the natural flow and the surrounding mana rushes to fill it. This, my dear students, results in what is academically known as a ‘big fuck-off explosion’ on both ends.*

So there ya go. All you need to know: Don’t try it ‘til you’re good as me or better. Unless you feel like taking a good portion of campus on a one way trip.”

- Hatuil Bonegrog, High Mage. Mono-Planar Arts Professor & Enchanting Expert.

* I find the claim that this is academic terminology highly suspect.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

An Encounter To Never Repeat

“You.

You’re wrong.

Look at me now, it’s polite to make eye contact.

Oh, I see what it is. What a find. Empty. One of those… things the Brewer* made back in the day. I assume you can’t see me, then?

Perhaps that is for the best. It is inadvisable to walk in the shadow of the cursed. Then again, perhaps not perceiving said shadow nullifies the effect.

Do not move, abomination! Lest you wish to be gutted. You cannot see me, but I can end you without issue. Ah, who do I kid? You are my first true company in years who has not pierced my hide with arrows upon seeing me. One moment.

Ah, here we are. Brew that, will you? It is customary.*

Refreshing. You brew well. The archives you so desperately seek are nearby. On the southern wall, press in the fourth brick from the left on the fifth row up, and it will activate the seal to bring you there. Press none other and begone.

May the gods be merciful, empty one. I have a suspicion you may not such a permissive fate as I should you be misfortunate.”*

- Unidentified Entity. Smoldering Dungeon, Lower Pits.

* I have yet to discern the identity of the “Brewer” mentioned in this encounter.

* I felt then my backpack open, and the occasional scrape of fur or claws on the back of my neck. Then, I brewed tea to share with whoever this was. The cup raised and drained, and I could tell despite seeing nothing that this creature was massive.

* This raises many questions. The conversation with this entity confounded and frightened me. Have I met a soul? Are mana pools how we manifest souls, and do they persist after we perish? Is that why I could not see it? Was that the Wizard who owned this dungeon? If our souls are mana, then what after death happens to humans who cannot control mana?

And what will happen to me?

[a-questionable-grimoire]

Why Do Elves Not Cast Internal Magic?

“A most… unvarnished way to phrase such a question. I see you waste little time, empty one. Respectable, and so I shall teach.

“Elves, contrary to popular belief, are rather delicate creatures. Can a properly trained Autarch pull a bowstring heavier than a man? Yes. Can a mage of our institute rend apart a battalion? Quite. But the fragility I mention is in reference to how magic interacts with our biology.*

“Our… design, for lack of a better word, is imperfect. Llewel is, or was, an essemancer of unrivaled skill. But even for the Lifecrafter, a species of living beings is not an easy feat. And, well… I shall be frank. Elven biology does not function. We have an inherent sense of our mana as humans do the sense of touch, because it is the keystone of our continued existence.

“Internal magic is, from an elven perspective, the work of a lunatic. Altering the flow of mana within oneself to augment your body? Foolishness. For humans, improper technique will at worst exhaust the user and cause a painful backlash. For us? Deadly. If our internal mana flow is paused, or Asoi-forbid damaged, then we meet our demise.

“That, empty one, is why you will rarely see an elven internal caster. It is also the reason those of my ilk will never cast with all their mana pool. Would you drain your heart to strike a foe again? I believed so. I advise you to inquire more delicately when next you ask questions.”

- Vulmar Yinfarin, Senior Mage. Biology Professor.

* At this point, he began drawing excessively labeled yet simple diagrams on the chalkboard behind him. I felt rather insulted by the insinuation.

[a-questionable-grimoire]

“The highest zenith of magic is the understanding of consequence. Afterwards, all is trivial. Mages wield themselves as the gods wield the world, and a misstep can be just as disastrous.”

- Jhaan Eilhice, High Mage & Professor of Elegiac Magics

[a-questionable-grimoire]

The Scent of Mana

How would you describe colors to a blind guy?

I don’t “see” mana or “feel” it, that ain’t how it works. As you know, humans just aren’t built for magic. Elves have got it easy, the bastards. I was lucky enough to have a special education, and most mages aren’t nearly so sensitive to mana.

I will try to explain nonetheless, but Tolmoor simply doesn’t have the words. The mana sense comes from my soul, my brain just interprets and I think the closest comparison I could make is that of smell. Some types of magic smell different. The will of the user, imposed onto reality, results in magic. What many do not realise is that accompanying their spell is their intent, and this is what brings forth its scent.

An example. Fire magic is... unpleasant to me. Not in its lack of variety or tact (though there is something to be said on that front of its practitioners), but its scent. The will? To send forth a bolt of flame. The intent? To burn. Be it man or wood, the intent is still to burn. Their bolt of flame makes their mana itself churn, simmer and burst in a most unsavory way not dissimilar to burnt eggs.

Healing magic is, predictably, fragrant. Nostalgic. The meals you shared around the dinner table with your closest allies or the food a loved one made when you were sick. The will to repair a wound carries the intent of restoring to a previous state, bringing a most pleasant sensation.

I hope this has given you some insight as to how mana feels for the folks who can feel it way deeper than most ever do. Before you go! Please consider buying a lantern before you stink up my room with fire magic again.

- Marsdon, Mana Specialist & Second Year at Sylven Magical University