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The fact that animals that care for their young will sometimes adopt others' lost or orphaned young to raise along their own is just funny to me. I know that it's all hormonal and there's no conscious thought involved in it, but the internal logic of it is so funny.

"Baby = success. More baby = more success. I have one baby and I found four other baby. I have five baby. I am being so fucking successful right now."

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Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins (1964) dir. Robert Stevenson

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the most disorienting thing thats ever happened to me was when a linguistics major stopped in the middle of our conversation, looked me in the eye, and said, "you have a very interesting vernacular. were you on tumblr in 2014?" and i had to just stand there and process that one for a good ten seconds

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Oh my god Wisconsin's governor just used a line item veto to secure school funding increases every year through 2425. He struck out a line so it now reads "through the 2023-2425 school year". He's allowed to do this lol

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reblog for easter

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i wish there was an easier way to tell the difference between an "if it sucks hit da bricks" situation and a "sometimes being an adult means doing things that you dont wanna" situation

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Car Trunk vs Car Boot: A clear win for US English, trunk was already a thing in which you stored items, frequently for transport.

Crisps vs Chips: I gotta admit, the Brits have this one. They're thin slices of potato that have been made crispy. No chipping of any materials involved.

Car Park vs Parking Lot: Equally matched. What's a car park? A place to park cars. What's a parking lot? An otherwise empty lot where you can park.

Elevator vs Lift: Both equally fail to address that the damn thing also goes down.

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@important-animal-images

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Teach me how to use my tumblog

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Once you start thinking about humans as a species in a biome, it affects your entire way of looking at normal things.

The other day I referred to female morning joggers as an 'indicator species' in that if you see women jogging in the dark it means that the environment provides migration pathways (sidewalks, clear signs) and doesn't have any known predators of female morning joggers (guy with knife, bear, BigTruck, male morning joggers).

Though, I think that people consider framing humans as animals reacting to their environment as rude.

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fries. envelopes. ive been awake for 18 hours can i go to bed now.

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In a universe where Damian was raised by Bruce since birth and never was told his siblings were adopted

Damian, age 12 helping unpacking things at Dicks new apartment: whos that?

Dick: Who?

Damian: That guy in the photo with you

Dick:

Dick: you mean- my dad? I never showed my parents to you?

Damian: there is no way thats our dad

Dick: our? Damian you- you know I’m adopted right?

Damian:

Dick:

Dick: we are all adopted, Damian.

Damian:

Damian: Even Cass?

Dick: you were there at her adoption.

Damian: I’m twelve! Probably didn’t payed attention to it.

Dick: you never asked yourself why do we don’t call Bruce ‘dad’?

Damian: I thought it was some petty teenager thing!

Dick: I’M 26!

Damian:

Damian: is Tim adopted?

Dick: yes?

Damian: knew it.

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The Batfamily visit Haly's circus for Dick's birthday. When the show ends the ringmaster immediately walks over to them and brings Dick into a hug. He explains he noticed them during the performance and invites them backstage.

The family gets along really well with the circus performers, a pleasant surprise due to the difference in wealth. The ringmaster is making conversation with Bruce when he says "-And thank you for looking after our little Robin all these years."

Everyone in the family except Bruce and Dick freeze. Dick doesn't realize what happened at first, too used to the Ringmaster calling him that. Bruce tries to save the situation and throws on a smile. "Don't worry he's in good hands"

The Batkids relax and Dick finally catches on and dreads the questions that are sure to come. Damian doesn't even wait until they leave to confront Dick.

"if it was meant to commemorate your family, why did you give it to me?"

"Look, Dames, my mother used to call me Robin, it's where the name came from"

"it was your mother's name for you?"

Dick nods, a tad confused at how seriously Damian is taking this.

Oh "you are my family, Dami and I believe you'd make my parents proud"

Damian tries and fails to find a response, so he walks away. His heart feels a lot lighter now.

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I know fanon Tim is practically like, the opposite of canon Tim, and the coffee addiction is one of the notoriously opposite things considering canonically Tim doesn't even like coffee, but the fact that it was started because Tim would fall asleep in places?? like, there is such a golden opportunity here and ppl decided to project their coffee addiction on him instead???

Cause imagine Tim who falls asleep anywhere. Tim who works and works and decides that he'll go to sleep after this one last bit but accidentally falls asleep in front of the Batcomputer. Tim who is found by Bruce, who goes all soft, picks him up and takes him up to his bedroom.

Imagine Tim having movie nights with Jason with the worst horror film that Jason arranged just to see Tim get scared except he doesn't react to any of the jumpscares because he fell asleep 5 minutes in. Jason doesn't know if he should be offended or impressed about the whole thing.

Imagine Tim just dozing off while he's trapping Damian so that he can't stab him and Damian doesn't realise until

Dick: ...and I wish you would stop but you– Tim?

Tim: ....

Dick: Is he... is he actually asleep?

Damian who has been trapped in his hands the whole time and thought that Tim was also listening to the lecture is more furious than ever because how dare Tim leave him alone in this.

New plan to murder Tim in his sleep coming up soon. (Because how dare he let himself be so vulnerable around Damian!)

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Dick Tim Damian and Jason getting carried away during an all out sibling argument that breaks out during a public gala and they forget they have an audience to the point where Damian starts spitting his ‘i am the blood son of Bruce Wayne you have nothing on me you imbeciles’ and without thinking Jason responds with ‘yeah you’re the son of Brucie Wayne all right but you forget I’m the son of fucking BATMAN and i have been since before you were even fucking PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE’

Damian: I AM THE BLOOD CHILD OF BRUCE WAYNE YOU PATHETIC CREATURE

Jason, fully about to fist fight his little brother in front of these shrimp platters: AND I’M THE SON OF BATMAN, WHILE YOU WERE TAUGHT HOW TO SIP CHAMPAGNE AND FALL INTO FOUNTAINS I WAS TAUGHT HOW TO THROW HANDS NOW FUCKING SQUARE UP CHILD

Dick, eyeing the now silent ballroom: uh, guys-

Tim, vibrating with excitement at the prospect of watching Damian get a ceramic plate to the face: don’t you fucking dare stop them

lacking context, Gotham is now under the impression that Jason Todd was not, in fact, a random street kid taken under Bruce’s wing, and is rather the biological son of Batman, who for some reason got his good friend Bruce Wayne to become the kid’s guardian, presumably to protect him from the life of crime he is leading. it also fuels the ‘Bruce Wayne is dating Batman’ rumours an almost impossible amount.

Another unforeseen consequence is that since it is common knowledge that the batkid vigilantes are most likely Batman’s children too, civilian Jason Todd is now considered to be the adopted brother of Tim, Damian, and Dick, and the biological brother of Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin.

Jason is asked who his favourite sibling is.

‘ok they all suck apart from Hood. he’s such a nice man. used to take me ice skating.’

the family hate him.