a-sprig-of-jasmine

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

healing happens in circles, not lines. you will return to old places with new eyes.

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someone has to leave first; there’s no other version to this story blah blah blah like yeah i guess i freaking guess chat

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maow maow maow

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like how do i not mourn tomorrow when i am living today

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something something anticipatory grief something something not knowing what you have until you lose it // knowing exactly what you have and you’re going to lose it anyway

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i love the void i love the world i am not a sayer god i get so attached like step the freak back gang what are u doing :(((

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to love is to be scared and god am i fucking scared

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This is just very funny to me.

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{Words by Anaïs Nin, from The Diary Of Anais Nin, Vol. 4 (1944-1947) / Cynthia Cruz from diagnosis,The glimmering room}

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

Ok but consider: A production of Hamlet that starts with the last scene and then Horatio has to play his role in the rest of the play, but he’s still completely dissolved in tears. Everyone else is oblivious and he has to keep it together for the sake of storytelling, but his voice cracks as he says “I think I saw him yesternight”, regret filling his tone, and he frantically holds on to Hamlet as he begs him not to follow the ghost; he practically chokes on his words as he shouts, “Be rul’d!” And he knows it’s no use, but he’s so reluctant to play his part in this and he can barely keep his emotions at bay. And then the end of the story draws nearer. He takes longer and longer to say his lines. He hesitates, tries to stretch out the little time he’s got left with Hamlet. He doesn’t want to be in this narrative, but he is. Until finally, as Hamlet decides to duel Laertes, Horatio simply gives up. Reluctantly, but knowingly, he accepts the fact that there’s nothing he can do but play his part and relive it all, just to honor Hamlet’s legacy and story. And Hamlet dies in his arms a second time.

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

richard iii dashboard simulator. i thought it would be funny and here we are

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

what if i caused problems on purpose <3

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🐗halfhearteddickjoke

oh no... i cant believe the king is having my brother killed... oh noooo

#FUCK YOU GEORGE

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💥ladyanne Follow

man i miss my husband and father in law

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

hey

💥ladyanne

shut the fuck up you literally killed them??? get off my post

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

can i try rizzing you up

💥ladyanne

um. sure?

🐗halfhearteddickjoke

PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

💥ladyanne

i can't believe i'm saying this but this is kind of working.

🧍‍♂️gentleman-retainer

anyone else in this thread smoke weed

958 notes

🌹lancaster-official Follow

you all suck.

@/elizabeth-woodville your son will die and you will be deposed and youre gonna die SAD and ALONE.

@/river-severn @/dorset-sheep and @/billhastings you're gonna get executed

@/halfhearteddickjoke hm. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. nobody hang out with this conniving bitch i hate him i hate him so much and i am three seconds away from killing him constantly.

🐦fuckinghim Follow

get off tumblr margaret we're in court

🌹lancaster-official

he's not gonna want you as his boytoy forever

🐦fuckinghim

WE'RE NOT EVEN IN A RELATIONSHIP??????

🌹lancaster-official

i've seen you talk to him. i know what you are

5000 notes

🗼mr-london-tower Follow

just heard george duke of clarence say "snork mimi" aloud i'm gonna [remembers that suicide jokes do nothing for my mental health] request to be moved away from guarding his cell

🗼mr-london-tower

update: so it turns out the malmsey wine is unusable, for related reasons to this man.

#fuckin. dead body in the malmsey. cant have nice things around here #i hate my job so bad

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eddie-baby-deactivated

yayyy everybody is friends now :)

🐗halfhearted-dick-joke

dude you literally killed clarence??? you cant be having other people making friends youre a murderer

eddie-baby-deactivated

WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT I CANCELED THAT ORDER???

🐗halfhearted-dick-joke

you killed that guy man what the fuck. you cant be doing that

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👗elizabeth-woodville Follow

I regret to inform you all that the king has died.

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✨cecily-not-sicily Follow

dude my sons GOTTA stop dying. this is so fucked.

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🐗halfhearteddickjoke

i do so love to cause problems on purpose :)

#sorry to any family members of lords rivers, vaughan, and grey. um. you will not be seeing them anymore! <3

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🐦fuckinghim Follow

preteens are so scary for no reason??? had to interact with two for work and like. they suck so bad. "i fear no uncles dead" shut the fuck up you smartass little shit. also had to explain to them the history of the tower of london which. i don't fucking know that shit! i don't know who built the tower of london! it sure as fuck wasn't julius caesar!

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#️⃣billhastings Follow

SOMEONE has got to stop waking me up in the middle of the night to hear their dreams

#️⃣billhastings

oh what the fuck.

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🍓bishop-ely Follow

crazy day at work today

#never go outside to get strawberries worst mistake of my life #came back in the room and they were accusing hastings of witchcraft. like sure yeah i guess

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🐦fuckinghim Follow

richard duke of gloucester should be king because not only are edward v and richard duke of york illegitimate but also so was edward iv. also richard duke of gloucester is just. kind of an all around good guy! as opposed to edward iv who ah. how do i put this in a manner that isn't horribly offensive. yeah okay figured it out. not a great person! unpleasant to be around!

also if you wanna know what was up with hastings he was a traitor don't worry about it.

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💥ladyanne Follow

RICHARD. RICHARD WHEN I CATCH YOU RICHARD. WHAT DO YOU MEAN KING OF ENGLAND

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🐦fuckinghim Follow

shit dude that one vine wasn't lying. what the fuck richard

#i have to leave immediately. jesus fucking christ man.

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🐗halfhearteddickjoke

yay king of england :) i will be very good at this i feel

#everybody's always like "what the fuck richard you can't kill two kids" or "why would you do that" and never like "was it fun having those preteens killed. it looked fun"

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🌹lancaster-official Follow

@/halfhearteddickjoke FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

submitted by @/elizabeth-woodville

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🐗halfhearteddickjoke

wow everything is going so bad. what the entire shit @/fuckinghim

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🐦fuckinghim Follow

ughhh margaret was right. NOT ABOUT THE BOYTOY THING

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®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow

hi ive been here the whole time. ive done the math and i do technically have a claim to the throne :)

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🐗halfhearteddickjoke

i cant believe im saying this but i did just have an ebenezer scrooge moment. god i hate it here.

#maybe i am a bad person

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®️henry-twoder-or-something Follow

wow richard has died :) i cant believe i am the king now! yayyyy

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🚣‍♂️resident-dumb-fuck Follow

final message from op! sorry everyone. im so annoying about this forever

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

macbeth really is such a fascinating guy because when he's thinking about doing the murder he actually sits with himself for a second and goes "if i do this, i'm signing over my immortal soul, and i'm probably going to be miserable with guilt" and then he does it and is miserable with guilt. and it makes him very very interesting! because it's not an impulse thing! he knows! so what makes a person make that choice? what amount of personal ambition, what lust for glory, what amount of wifely-pressure-fueled conception-of-masculinity-as-violence can get someone to do that?

because it isn't idiocy. he knows damn well. and none of his asides, none of his elaborate visually-fantastical speeches or deft metaphors, are the words of a blundering dumbass. personally, i think the core of macbeth is exactly what we find out before he ever steps on stage: he's a soldier, and more than that, he;s a killer. and he's extremely good at it. fuck diplomacy--basically every single problem he faces in the play is one he tries to kill his way out of, because it's the only strategy he knows. at some point, i don't even think it's just manhood-as-violence for him; it's personhood-as-violence. in 3.1 he threatens to get into the lists against fate, against the price of his own defiled soul; at the end, he resolves to go down fighting no matter what. as much as people love to joke about macbeth being foolhardy and easily-pressured and not looking more than five minutes into the future--the guy knows. but all he's ever done, all he can do, is fight. he's not a fool. he's a machine.

but also, fascination aside, what the fuck is wrong with him lmfao my guy you KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

somewhere out there someone has probably used AI to write their wedding vows. someone out there is probably loading their hinge profile with AI quippy responses. when i close my eyes i picture a man hunting through chatGPT prompts, trying to get someone else to love him. maybe she sends him back chatGPT too, and two robots fall in love.

is this our new lives, then? is love scripted? i have a dandelion heart and some part of me wants to believe that AI will not obtain self-reliance by evil but instead by discovering the single perfect shape of love - the one thing humanity (in all our time and force) could never quite nail down. maybe it will be a string of numbers. the imprint of static, the universe's thumbprint. maybe it will just be a single long mirror, and jam dripping down your hands.

i know there are "good" reasons. i was nervous! or i was unsure how to say it! but - i want your nervous words. i want your unsure words. i want you to strike entire pages of work for me. i want you to gesture vaguely, to ransack your mind for ways to instead-of-saying just show me. i want to find where your words fail you and where the summer of your longing blazes out of you, infinite, resisting the capture of definition.

and i want to do the same for you. isn't any love worth a little bit of struggle? i want to shiver with the movie-ripe sense my friends are lovely and i am so tender towards them - i want to never quite be able to explain what it means to spend my life with them. i want to draw shapes on your skin that exit the geometric and fade into the same, wordless pattern. it is still love if silent. you know - i rarely, if ever, actually tell my siblings i love them? i just show up often, and hope the action does the talking.

i know AI is "easier". of course. buttoned up and seamlessly corporate. but i do not want to love you through a film. i do not want to love you with your edges sanded down. i cannot recognize myself in you if you are unmarred and glistening. something about how, with the crystal-clear mp3 files of the present, we ache for the scratch of vinyl. the flaws are what make love worth it. i want the raw and the windbeaten and the unkempt.

something tender, then. i love you because you're real, which means that you cannot be perfect.

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

june 19, 2024

to start: so a little background, it's my second-ish week in china right now, im no longer jetlagged but i am taking a lot of afternoon naps and sleeping around 2-3 am. i'm currently in bed while i type this, watching my friend stream valorant over discord (who plays valo at 8 in the morning?!).

mall: today was mildly uneventful, theres a big mall outside my apartment with a cat cafe in the basement. i went last week with my cousin and i swear there were like 40 cats, no kidding. the cats were pretty adorable, there were a lot of ragdolls, all fiends for the cat treats and would push over all of the other cats to get to you when you had one in your hand (however if you didn't, they'd just sit in front of the front door waiting for the next person with treats to come in). my favourite cat was the one that immediately climbed into my lap as soon as i sat down and took a nap. i tried to give them prio on treats but they'd either not eat it or it'd get stolen. (it was just eepy!!) anyway we only passed by today but afterwards we went to a blindbox store and there is this one blind box figure that i really wanted, i'll attach a picture but its the one with the leaf on it's head! i thought it'd look nice for my setup and i've already passed by this store like 4 times.

i wanted the leaf hat! but i got top right and bottom right but i am not mad!! they are v cute and go with room and keyboard :D (all of which are blue) they were like 79 rmb each which is ~$15 cad so i was pretty okay with it. i do still want the leaf or the one right next to the bottom right one but we'll leave that for another day.

we the went to a kkv, which is kinda like a miniso but with a lot of food. we got a bottle of peach soju and a bunch of snacks. afterwards we went home and someone swerved into our lane and our taxi driver was spamming the honk honk button and i thought it was kind of terrifying. i don't think i could drive here i would pass away, my name would be on the news.

tomorrow: the plans for tomorrow or i guess tonight-ish is to get up at ~3am and catch subway to the mountains and watch the sunrise!! i'm overall pretty excited for it, i'm going to bring my mom's old digital camera and hope it isn't too blurry. i am pretty excited to see what'll happen, i am not very excited to get bit by bugs though.

finally: i don't quite like how this post is formatted but i think it's okay for now, i am getting pretty sleepy thought so i think this is the end of todays entry!!! i will now go lie in bed and watch my friend drop from asc :3c

ps. i so want to just cheat by getting the green lotus blindbox figure from ebay but that feels like it doesn't count but i dont really love the other ones and its a 1/10 chance so pretty risky imo. i'll go back there later this week to see if anyone besides me has bought one and if not i'll try again hehe c:

[a-sprig-of-jasmine]

to start:

hi, im really emulating space email 2014 right now by shouting into the void.

purpose: i've never had a big social media presence and i hate being perceived so much but i think this is something that i have always wanted to do!! i really hope that this gives me more confidence i guess? to start posting on my mains or other platforms. transferance of skills or something.

myself: i think i'll go by pandora, i am 18, based in canada, half chinese half viet, i love the mauraders, i've never read any of the canon hp books, i play a couple games like valorant and stardew, i used to play league, genshin, and more minorly i have played some steam games which include: terraria and portal 2 (with boyf), purrgatory (lgbtq+ cat pun story game) and plateup (basically overcooked but with less flashing colours and same amount of stress).

time on tumblr: (cw body image, only slightly) i think tumblr was like such a vital part of me growing up and it's a very on off type of relationship, i religiously read anything harry potter related, mostly marauders for a few years, dabbled in body image issues and after ~7 years i came out mostly unscathed (biased).

i think interests in terms of fandoms would include - harry potter (+ marauders) - stranger things - the hunger games - pjo (and etc) - genshin impact - maybe more and i just forgot (its been a while)

practice: i kind of want to do a little diary type of thing, maybe this will turn into a boyf fanpage, or just any thoughts that i want to send off into the internet (forever somewhere or smth idk). i will try to be consistent, make this a regular type of thing.

to conclude: thank you for taking the time to read this, or maybe it's just me rereading this again in the future (i'll probably cringe) but yeah. i am so open to making new friends, send me something in my inbox or something. anyway, thanks and yay! to new beginnings! ps. someone teach me how to tag, i never know what to tag or if tagging is too much