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Another shot from before the terrible party that left both of them in ruin.

That boa got around before, too.

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“HOW TOXIC PARENTS COPE In a relatively well-functioning family, parents tend to cope with life pressures by working out problems through openly communicating, exploring options, and not being afraid to seek outside help if they need it. Toxic parents, on the other hand, react to threats to their balance by acting out their fears and frustrations, with little thought for the consequences to their children. Their coping mechanisms are rigid and familiar to them. Among the most common: 1. Denial. As you’ve seen throughout this book, denial is often the first coping mechanism to which toxic parents resort to regain equilibrium. Denial has two faces: “nothing is wrong” and “something was wrong but it won’t happen again.” Denial minimizes, discounts, jokes away, rationalizes, or relabels destructive behavior. Relabeling—a form of denial— takes a problem and hides it behind euphemisms. An alcoholic becomes a “social drinker”; a batterer is a “strict disciplinarian.” 2. Projection. Projection also has two faces: parents may accuse the child of the very inadequacies they suffer from, and they may blame the child for the toxic behaviors that result from their inadequacies. For example, an inadequate father who can’t hold down a job will accuse his son of being lazy and shiftless; an alcoholic mother will blame her daughter for causing the unhappiness that drives her to drink. It is not unusual for toxic parents to use both kinds of projection to avoid taking responsibility for their own behavior and their own deficiencies. They need to find a scapegoat, and it’s often the most vulnerable child in the family. 3. Sabotage. In a family with a severely dysfunctional parent—crazy, drunk, ill, or violent—other family members will assume the roles of rescuers and caretakers. This creates a comfortable balance of weak/strong, bad/good, or sick/healthy. If the dysfunctional parent starts to get better or enters a treatment program, this can severely threaten the family balance. The rest of the family (especially the other parent) may unconsciously find ways to sabotage the dysfunctional parent’s progress so that everyone can return to his or her familiar role. This can also happen if a troubled child starts to improve. I have seen toxic parents pull their child out of therapy when the child shows signs of becoming healthier. 4. Triangling. In a toxic family system, one parent will often enlist the child as a confidant or ally against the other parent. Children become part of an unhealthy triangle in which they are being pulled apart by the pressure to choose sides. When Mom says, “I’m miserable with your father,�� or Dad says, “Your mom won’t sleep with me anymore,” the child becomes an emotional dumping ground, allowing the parents to relieve themselves of some of their discomfort without having to face the source of their problems. 5. Keeping secrets. Secrets help toxic parents cope by turning their families into private little clubs to which no outsiders are admitted. This provides a bond to pull the family together, especially when the family balance is threatened. The child who hides abuse by telling her teacher that she fell down the stairs is protecting the family club from outside interference. When you look at toxic parents from the perspective of the family system—their beliefs, their rules, and your obedience to those rules—a lot of your self-destructive behavior comes into focus. You come closer to understanding the powerful forces that drive so much of your parents’ behavior and ultimately your own. Understanding is the beginning of change. It opens new options and choices. But seeing things differently is not enough. True freedom can come only from doing things differently.”

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Better get good at lying to your rabbit, Ewol

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Aftermath

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do you ever draw something for yourself that’s so deliciously self-indulgent that you just sit there like

[Image ID: 2 digital drawings of a short-haired person drawing on a tablet. In the first image they are looking at the screen and blushing pink. In the second image they are looking away from the screen and blushing more heavily, with the caption “…is this allowed?”. End ID]

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Yes, Erol has always been bullied by animals, even from a young age. This is why Mistletoe gets her way on everything. Joyful inherited the family gift of sheep whispering, which meant he usually had to get them inside their pen at the end of every day.

Erol is about 10 here, already starting to tower over the sea of fluff.

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Happy birthday, Erol. You had no right to make it this far, you complete idiot, but good job!

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While attending a very fancy, rich person's party, Erol and his coworker Adie had a conversation with a Karen-type named Fleur. Every lie or story they told to cover their real identities was met with wariness and condescension before they were dismissed from her presence. Quick sketch from the group scene we did for our shared crime FC.

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"I told you, this isn't your jewelry!" "Well, if you stole it, it's not yours either!" "I didn't steal it, it was a gift!" "Who would give you anything? You can't lie to me, Little Erol." Erol and his older cousin Lolo, being themselves. Lolo is about 10 or 11 years older, which meant she probably babysat him and looked after him when they were kids. That big sister/surrogate mother energy hasn't ever left their relationship for better or worse. She's enjoying her travels but every day she gets a little more annoyed that he's keeping secrets from her, namely the criminal outfit he currently works for, not to mention the places he randomly disappears off to.

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(unmasked voice) if trump wins i’m going to start building community locally and going to protests and firebombing walmarts. …why am i not wearing a mask? well the government said i dont have to and people might judge me :(

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happy together

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I drew them 3 years ago. Why are they so popular now? =D

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Birthday art from Veistla's writer! Look at the tattoos! The expression! The pose and outfit!!! Absolutely amazing and so perfectly captured.