a-trichy-recovery

[a-trichy-recovery]

being happy is so scary because there’s this underlying feeling of anxiety like when are things gonna go wrong. is this gonna be taken from me. chat is this normal

[a-trichy-recovery]

Quiet npd + bpd culture is getting triggered and never saying anything about it. Opening up about my feelings is Stupid and makes me look Weak but Ow Oh My God This Hurts. Why cant you read my mind ??? -✈️

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[a-trichy-recovery]

npd + quiet bpd culture is wanting to have a full breakdown but not even letting yourself play it out in your mind because that’d actually be so embarrassing. im literally fine, lock in.

-🌀📸

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[a-trichy-recovery]

npd culture is being so fucking normal. and then your yesman doesn't yes you manstyle anymore so you have to go sicko mode

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[a-trichy-recovery]

npd culture is why do all these fictional characters get to be mean and imperfect and quick to snap at people for no good reason and they still have their loved ones stick by their side through it all? Why can't I have that?

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[a-trichy-recovery]

NPD culture is this

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[a-trichy-recovery]

whilst we absolutely should be educating people on the fact that cluster b disorders do not make people inherently abusive, it’s also important to make sure in doing so that you aren’t glorifying or romanticising these disorders.

my disorders make me destructive, selfish and i have behaved in ways that have hurt the people around me, as a result of some of my symptoms being left un-helped by the professionals who diagnosed me. i have ruined relationships and treated others in a way that was harsh and, at times, cruel.

this does not mean i’m evil because of my disorders, nor does it mean that others with my conditions will behave this way.

but it is important to make sure that you remind yourself that these mental illnesses are not to be romanticised. educate people on the fact we aren’t abusive because of our conditions but be sure you do not water down the impact these disorders can still have.

[a-trichy-recovery]

maybe it's the like npd/aspd but my brain automatically categorizes people into like little classes. like I meet a person and as I get to know them they get sorted. like there's a class for younger female sibling type friend, a class for older male person who I like but barely speak to, a class for doctors and medical professionals, a class for people my age who are like me, a class for people my age who are nothing like me, etc. and my brain has a predetermined set of mannerisms and vocabulary for interacting with each one

[a-trichy-recovery]

they hate me for my narcissistic traits that they would love me for if i was a fictional character

[a-trichy-recovery]

Tips for Cluster B Anger

~ coming from someone who has BPD and a psychology special interest Have you been feeling like your anger is completely uncontrollable and all encompassing? Do you feel like your anger controls you more than you control it? Me too! But here are some things I've found to be helpful: - Taking notes. Write down triggers for what causes your anger episodes (as well as other episodes e.g sadness or paranoia) once you come down from it and start looking for a pattern. Not only will this help you to slow down and self reflect, you can begin to either avoid those triggers or find ways to regulate the effects. - SLOW DOWN. If something is making you want to hurt someone else or yourself, slow the FUCK down. Push against the grain, step back and let yourself have a good cry or scream into a pillow. Do whatever you can to (healthily) process the emotions, no matter how long it takes, before making major decisions. - Avoid self harm, substances or unhealthy habits like disordered eating or emotional self harm. It's so tempting, believe me, but it will only serve to make things worse. You might feel like you want it to get worse now, but in the future, you WILL regret it. If you start feeling these urges, refer to the urge surfing diagram below this. - Get outside advice. Think you're splitting but you can't tell? Run the situation by a close friend or loved one and see how they feel about it. Try to relay it with as little bias as possible and see if they agree with the decision you're about to make or if you perhaps need to reevaluate some things. - Take care of your heart. I know this is cliche, but a good sleep schedule, hearty food consumption habits, hydration, exercise routine and mental health care go a long way in helping you succeed in the above tips. You are struggling with an illness, and ill people need as much care as possible. Become your own parent. This works for anger in all Cluster B personality disorders, as well as with autism spectrum disorders! Urge surfing:

[a-trichy-recovery]

GUYS FUCK THEY FIGURED IT OUT WHAT DO WE DO

[a-trichy-recovery]

thank you for your constructive criticism. unfortunately, i have been sent into a rage which i will not mentally recover from for three years

[a-trichy-recovery]

[a-trichy-recovery]

"you don't have to perform around me" sweetheart i have to perform in front of myself

[a-trichy-recovery]

People think NPD is all about ego, but it’s really about needing significance to feel okay.

When you’re starving for connection and validation, and people only show up on their time, it feels like betrayal. Like you’re invisible.

It’s not that we don’t appreciate connections, it’s that the timing and consistency matter more than people realize.

Casual check-ins or delayed replies feel like crumbs when you’re starving. And that mismatch? It drains you fast.

The frustration turns into anger. Not because we want to be jerks, but because it feels like people don’t get it.

It’s not enough to love us when it’s convenient. We crave that deeper, constant significance in their lives.

This isn’t about being selfish either. It’s about survival in a way that makes sense to us.

NPD makes it hard to self-soothe, so we seek external validation to stabilize. And when people can’t meet that need, it feels like a direct attack on our worth.

For those with NPD

You’re not alone in this. It’s tough when your needs feel like too much for others. But recognizing the pattern can help.

Seek people who naturally meet you halfway and learn to self-soothe when they can’t.

No one is going to save you

[a-trichy-recovery]

“When I first heard it, from a dog trainer who knew her behavioral science, it was a stunning moment. I remember where I was standing, what block of Brooklyn’s streets. It was like holding a piece of polished obsidian in the hand, feeling its weight and irreducibility. And its fathomless blackness. Punishment is reinforcing to the punisher. Of course. It fit the science, and it also fit the hidden memories stored in a deeply buried, rusty lockbox inside me. The people who walked down the street arbitrarily compressing their dogs’ tracheas, to which the poor beasts could only submit in uncomprehending misery; the parents who slapped their crying toddlers for the crime of being tired or hungry: These were not aberrantly malevolent villains. They were not doing what they did because they thought it was right, or even because it worked very well. They were simply caught in the same feedback loop in which all behavior is made. Their spasms of delivering small torments relieved their frustration and gave the impression of momentum toward a solution. Most potently, it immediately stopped the behavior. No matter that the effect probably won’t last: the reinforcer—the silence or the cessation of the annoyance—was exquisitely timed. Now. Boy does that feel good.”

— Melissa Holbrook Pierson, The Secret History of Kindness (2015)

[a-trichy-recovery]

All the stuff you learn from your attempts at healthy coping doesn't get erased the moment you relapse. And you can use that knowledge to pick yourself back up and try again when you're ready. It's not a case of starting over from scratch, it's a case of stumbling and getting back up