a-weird-being

[a-weird-being]

I am so normal about that video essay. I swear. It's like my favourite thing to watch at the moment. It's gotten me through like multiple uni projects. It's like the perfect combination out of interest of early teen me (patd and fob and stuff) and current me (French symbolist literature. Specifically Arthur Rimbaud)

Her way of analysing, explaining, and storytelling in general is also so amazing. Please. I can only recommend the essay to anyone and everyone.

finally getting around to watching souryogurtgirl’s 3.5 hr panic at the disco video essay and its life changing. i knew a lot of this info already but she’s also presenting a lot of stuff i never knew + the way she synthesizes everything and draws conclusions is sooooo chefs kiss. also recontextualizing the lyrics and circumstances surrounding some of my favorite albums🫶 and i’m only like 2/3 of the way through. she is an amazing researcher and writer !

[a-weird-being]

T-shirt that says “I understand the themes and characterization of media I like, sometimes I just make jokes”

[a-weird-being]

I hope they despise each other 💗

[a-weird-being]

The Ninjago writers creating a midseason/season finale:

[a-weird-being]

Loved one got top surgery yesterday so I made this for him but I think y’all would appreciate it too

[a-weird-being]

i love to read a character's stoicism as awkwardness. yeah your posture is great and you're mysteriously surveying the scene but it's because you're stiff af and don't know how to approach anyone, right?

[a-weird-being]

[a-weird-being]

Today's Sigma is: perplexed by Nikolai's feelings </3

[a-weird-being]

I did quickly go through the manga, with the help of the fanwiki, to see how much that "Atsushi's orphanage headmaster visions have been caused by Q" twist holds up (as sometimes, new plans come up as you write, especially if your series is over 10 years old)

In the first chapter, Atsushi has a flashback of the orphanage staff kicking him out, but they do not have individual identities. The first apparition of the headmaster as himself is when Atsushi is under the influence of Dogra Magra, in chapter 25, "Q":

His next apparition is in chapter 28, when Atsushi is being held in the Moby Dick, right before Lucy comes in and chooses to help him (note: that scene also compares Atsushi's abuse is to another person's, Lucy's.)

After that, there's chapter 39, "Portrait of a Father", where Atsushi doesn't hallucinate him, but we learn about who the man was to Atsushi, and witness his funeral.

His next hallucination is in chapter 52, at the very end of the Cannibalism arc. He explains to Akutagawa that the headmaster has been been haunting him less since (the final fight on) the Moby Dick, but has been silent since the funeral.

There are a few more mentions of the headmaster that I haven't mentioned, but a very notable one is that Atsushi saw becoming stronger and his upcoming fight against Akutagawa as a way to free himself from the headmaster's influence, much like Akutagawa saw it as a way to gain Dazai's approval.

I don't think we see Atsushi hallucinating the headmaster after this until chapter 122, but the Dazai hallucinations start showing up in chapter 63, so really not that long after the previous one. The next Dazai ones I could find were in chapters 78, 105 and 121.

The conclusion is therefore that Atsushi hallucinating the headmaster has been a very active and purposeful part of his journey as a character since very early on. It started manifesting after Atsushi's breakdown while under the influence of Q's ability, and it's taken various approaches as Atsushi faced different struggles, but it's always been there.

While wearing Dazai's face, the hallucination was given more credit in Atsushi's eyes, but its words were barely less sharp and hurtful. However, they did tend to push Atsushi into acting, rather than cowering and giving up.

We're seeing Atsushi heal in real time, no matter how messy it is, and I'm so proud of him.

[a-weird-being]

art idea i've had since last night

[a-weird-being]

Me, a week ago :)

starting a collection #blackmold

[a-weird-being]

“Yes I can give you a reason to live” said the man with the most dead inside stare in human history

[a-weird-being]

Q mention in new chapter! Rahhhh!

[a-weird-being]

This is so funny to me. It's like they themselves had a amv of their scenes they kept replaying in their heads

[a-weird-being]

Oh damn the Catholics have joined in on the war against AI "art".

[a-weird-being]

Write it shitty, write it scared, write it without a clue but don't you be so spineless and have an AI write fanfic for you.

[a-weird-being]

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