aaaaajonghooooo

[aaaaajonghooooo]

silly thoughts w/ yunho

words - 1.5k!! (are you impressed that i actually know for once?!?!?)

genre - angst/fluff

warnings - sad!yunho, anxious!yunho

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you were half way through an episode of some shitty reality tv show. you’d come across it whilst trying to find something to pass the time and you’d somehow got caught up in all the fake drama happening between the people on screen. in fact, you hardly realised you were 3 episodes in until you heard the front door open and the heavy footsteps of your boyfriend. it took everything in you to pause the show mid argument, but you figured saying hello to yunho was probably more important.

“hi, yun,” you tossed the remote down and peered over the back of your sofa to watch as he kicked his sneakers off.

the first hint you got that something was off with him was the lack of reply you got. normally he was like an overly enthusiastic puppy, bounding over to you and kissing you before whispering his greetings. the next was the fact that he didn’t bother the straighten up his shoes and put them in the designated spot. he just left them there in front of the door and spun to face you with a sigh.

the third and final thing that let you know something was wrong was the frown that sat on his pretty mouth as he paced towards you slowly. you frowned back in sympathy, but he didn’t even acknowledge it. in fact, as he rounded the sofa, he didn’t seem to acknowledge you at all.

your mind was racing, wondering if you’d perhaps done something to upset him, and your mind wasn’t put to ease as he picked up the remote to turn to tv off completely. you watched with worry as he tossed it back down onto the couch, watching it bounce a few times before it fell onto the floor. he didn’t bother to pick it up, so you tried to instead.

but the moment you bent over, you felt a warm touch on your shoulder, preventing you from moving to grab the small machine. your eyes looked at his hand before traveling up his arm until you reached his face. it was still stony and the frown still replaced his usually joyful grin, but from this distance you could see more clearly. the red rings around his eyes were the first thing that really concerned you, and upon further inspection, you could see the water that had gathered along his lower lash line.

“yun,” you said quietly, your voice empathetic and sad. he simply shook his head, not wanting you say anything else.

half of you expected him to say something instead, but he just took his hand off of your shoulder and offered it to you. you took it and immediately yunho pulled you from the couch and towards the door of the living room. you followed in silence as he led you along the corridor to your bedroom.

it was dark in there, and yunho didn’t bother to turn the light on as he dragged you to the bed. he stopped just before it and gestured for you to get on. you did, sitting down on the plush mattress. again, he shook his head. this time you couldn’t quite discern what he wanted though. you furrowed your brows at him and his frown got deeper.

he crawled onto the bed himself, flopping down right in the middle.

“c’mere,” he sighed, opening his arms wide to invite you closer. it soon made sense what he wanted, and before he could even register it, you'd all but thrown yourself into his grasp. he sighed as you fell against his chest, some of his stress finally dissipating. you were pleased, but that still didn’t explain what had made him so moody.

still, you didn’t ask. if yunho wanted to tell you he would, and he’d do it when he was ready to. the two of you had figured out pretty early in your relationship that that was the best way to do things between the two of you. that way no one felt pressured to tell if they weren’t ready.

it didn’t mean you weren’t curious, though. it wasn’t often yunho was like this, so when he was it only made you worry. with the way yunho was petting your hair and pressing kisses to your head, you’d normally assume he was trying to comfort you. somehow you knew otherwise. you could tell he was focussing on his own comfort, trying to ground himself with the familiar feeling of your body close to his. the way his fingers massaged and squeezed at your flesh of your hip like it was a stress ball, or the way his fingers twisted your hair in the same pattern over and over again; it was all to soothe himself.

you let him continue, taking whatever comfort you could get from his repetitive ministrations. they slowed over time, becoming less routine and more spur of the moment. you weren’t sure how much time was passing, but eventually his hands relaxed completely and he let out his remaining tension with a sigh.

“fuck,” he muttered into the darkness of the room. it was quiet, and soft, but you could still feel the anxious edge it carried. you couldn’t help but raise your gaze to look at his face that had been illuminated by the soft moonlight that shone through the small gap in your curtains. again, he sighed before lowering his gaze from the ceiling, eyes meeting with yours, “you okay, honey?”

“am i okay?” the question came as a shock and you couldn’t help but narrow your eyes at him, “who cares if i’m okay, yunho! are you okay?”

he scoffed.

“i care if you’re okay,” he replied, “i know i must’ve worried you, hm?”

he was avoiding the question, that much was obvious. of course, you couldn’t blame him. he was supposed to tell before you asked, so of course he’d ignore it. you still couldn’t help but let it bother you, though.

“of course i’m worried, yun,” you tried your hardest to appear calm, but the way your voice sounded was anything but, “you haven’t told me a thing, and i know i shouldn’t ask, but i want to know what’s wrong. i want to know if you’re alright!”

he shushed you, petting your hair once more to calm you down. but you were anything but calm, and yunho staying silent wasn’t helping.

“it’s silly,” he said, “something upset me and i just… i needed to know you were still here.”

it was something, you supposed, but it was also nothing at all. what were you supposed to take from that? that he was scared you wouldn’t be at home? why would he think that? did he think you were in danger? did he think you’d left him? it made no sense, and it left you with more questions than answers.

“yunho…” you sighed.

“i know,” he answered, “its not really an explanation at all, is it.”

“no.”

he chuckled at how straightforward you were being. it was endearing, in a way, seeing you so so worried about something that despite his reaction, yunho would admit was small. so small, in fact, that he felt as though it was a little embarrassing for him.

“if i tell you, will you promise not to laugh,” you nodded against his chest, “and you have to promise not to get mad, too.”

that one takes a little longer to agree to, but eventually you nod. you wanted to try your hardest to understand why he was acting so strangely, and getting mad wouldn’t help in the slightest.

“go ahead, babe.”

he took a deep breath in, releasing it, along with some of his nerves, almost immediately.

“mingi’s girlfriend left him,” he said. you furrowed your brows, “they seemed so happy together and she just left him with no explanation and he was hurt and confused and it just got me thinking about us.”

“wait! you don’t think i’d do that to you, do you?” you frowned. you didn’t like the idea that he thought so lowly of you, but you’d already agreed not to get upset. you’d let him say his piece before starting all out war over the preposterous accusation.

he sighed again.

“not at all,” he said, “it just got me thinking about what would happen if, god forbid, this didn’t work out and i guess i just… panicked.”

your mind went blank for a second. not for any reason other than the fact that it wasn’t right. yunho was the level headed one. you’d never known him to panic. yet there he lay telling you that of all things to make his anxiety spike, it was the thought of you leaving him.

“you… panicked?” you said, slowly. he nodded, “no, i mean… you panicked.”

he chuckled lowly.

“yes, honey,” he laced his fingers with your hair once again. his nails scraped gently against your scalp and you couldn’t help the contented moan that left your lips, “i panicked. my brain always goes a little haywire when it comes to you.”

that made your heart skip a beat. the knowledge that you could make him dizzy in the same way he did with you was something that you never knew you needed.

“mine does too,” you admit, a bright smile breaking through the confused frown. yunho thought you looked like an angel as you lay on his chest grinning like the cheshire cat himself.

“guess we’re both a little crazy when it comes to one another, huh?” he tilted your head up so he had access to your lips. he lay a small peck on them before pulling back with a tiny smile, “but now you’re here in my arms and you’re not leaving me and i know everything is okay, okay?”

“okay…”

“i love you,” he pecked your lips once more, and then again, and then one final time, “i love you so much.”

you chased his lips, making him chuckle and ruffle your hair. he gave in and let you give him one last kiss. it lasted a little longer than the pecks he’d previously given you, and by the time he pulled away again, you were satiated.

“i love you too.”

[aaaaajonghooooo]

alternatives to “i want to die”:

i want things to change

i want a different life

today was a shitty day/week

i don’t want to live like this

i want to be somewhere else in life

i’m not where i want to be yet

+ much more

[aaaaajonghooooo]

IT WONT LOAD

[aaaaajonghooooo]

[aaaaajonghooooo]

EVERYTHING — by jongho

[aaaaajonghooooo]

[aaaaajonghooooo]

HES SO PRETTY 😭😭😭

230625: BOUNCY — kim hongjoong.

[aaaaajonghooooo]

THATS HONGJOONG?! YALL I NEED HELP 😭

First Bang Chan and now Hongjoong.

Idk what happens but the minute they have their dark hair.

Fboi mode activated.

[aaaaajonghooooo]

YALL I GOT MY OUTLAW ALBUM AND AHHHHHHHH

😭😭😭😭

[aaaaajonghooooo]

LIKE HE HIT THAT CLEARLY AND SMOOTHLY

IM FANGIRLING SO HARD OVER HIM LIKE

I NEED MORE HONGJOONG SINGING

RIGHT FUCKING NOW

[aaaaajonghooooo]

I NEED LITERALLY EVERYONE TO EXPLAIN TO ME RIGHT NOW

WHY IS THE KIM HONGJOONG NOT A VOCALIST?!

HAVE YALL HEARD HIM SINGING?! LIKE WHY DO WE GET RAPPER VERSIONS OF LIKE ALL THE MEMBERS (singing for Mingu sometimes) BUT RARELY GET HONGJOONG SINGING

Like I love all of them but smth abt Hongjoong is honestly winning me over, like I can't- I'm sorry yall

[aaaaajonghooooo]

ARE THEY NOT SIBLINGS?!

[aaaaajonghooooo]

That's literally genius

Ateez clock?

[aaaaajonghooooo]

Yall I need a fic where Y/N (female) becomes a member of ATEEZ and like the fans fucking love it

But like she falls in love with some of the members

And shit ensues

[aaaaajonghooooo]

Ateez clock?

[aaaaajonghooooo]

Yall help me find this story, I forgot it's name

Basically Seonghwa is a hot ass dilf, who divorced his wife ig, and Y/N is besties with his daughter and long story short Seonghwa and Y/N end up together

🙏

Edit: nvm i found it

[aaaaajonghooooo]

Constantly repeating to myself “you are not broken you are young and learning how to live” during everything I do everywhere I go all the time