aabctimt

[aabctimt]

I pretend to be lovable but I know, I know I’m not.

[aabctimt]

i feel so bad for hurting him but fuck i just don’t know how to control myself i hate being like this

[aabctimt]

[aabctimt]

no I don't have a resting sad face I'm just constantly fucking sad

[aabctimt]

I hate that I took a shower, some of my best clothes, lotion and then for what?

I hate what you did to me

[aabctimt]

Sometimes I think people wish to never have meet me

Sometimes i wish i never met you in the first place

[aabctimt]

I want love but I don't want to have to beg for it. Please love me too. Please acknowledge me. It's like you don't want me here anymore...are you better off without me? Is everyone better off without me?...

[aabctimt]

But what if I don’t mean as much to them as they do to me

[aabctimt]

Everyone stops talking to me after a while. I know, I wouldn't talk to someone like me either.

[aabctimt]

me every day because sleep is the only thing that lets me forget how empty i am for a moment. it’s the only escape from this never ending ache, from the weight of a life i can't stand. when im awake, the pain is unbearable, but in sleep, i don't have to feel it even if just for a few hours. the worst part is knowing i’ll wake up to it all over again lol

[aabctimt]

Me❤️‍🩹 been in psych things since I was 5

[aabctimt]

i wanna lie on the floor and not think for a month or two.

[aabctimt]

u are so mean to me... that's hot

[aabctimt]

[aabctimt]

I said sorry for the scars you gave me.

[aabctimt]

i'd like to think i'm most recovered from BPD, but every now and then it rears its ugly head, and i'm right back to splitting, lashing out for attention, self harm. i can't see the big picture and i can't make rational decisions to help the situation.

my useless therapist tells me to practice mindfulness. well okay, i'm feeling very mindful about the storm going on in my head and the thick haze that blocks the ways out, that doesn't help me, that just makes me feel more miserable and trapped!

[aabctimt]

Cw: g0rey, goo from the body, mold (?)