aaronexplainsitall - Tumblr blog

[aaronexplainsitall]

if you told me last year we’d get TS11 very soon and it would have songs about aliens, masturbation, an NFL player, taylor comparing herself to jesus, matty healy, fake pregnancy, and the state of florida……

[aaronexplainsitall]

[aaronexplainsitall]

i left all i knew, you left me at the house by the heath

[aaronexplainsitall]

Reblogs were disabled so here you go

[aaronexplainsitall]

how would you rollout the back half of the album with 5 singles 👀

OOH see this is harder because I feel like the b-side is so much less commercial that it's hard to pick singles for. HOWEVER, I think this is what I'd do if it was a stand-alone record:

imgonnagetyouback

The Bolter

The Black Dog

So High School

thanK you aIMee

Purely because I feel like they're the most radio-ready songs on that part of the record. I might also try to squeeze in How Did It End? or The Prophecy as single 6, but I can't see either of them performing on radio.

[aaronexplainsitall]

[aaronexplainsitall]

I know you have had opinions about single rollouts in the past; what would you do for the remaining TTPD singles if it was up to you?

Ooh, that's interesting because I'm pretty much sure that there probably won't be any other singles from this record (a la Folklore/Evermore) however, were I the single king, I would roll out like this: 1. Fortnight 2. Down Bad 3. TTPD 4. My Boy Only Breaks His Favourite Toys 5. I Can Do It With a Broken Heart

I love a five single album campaign, I always think it feels neatest, but if we were cheating and thinking about a sixth, I'd add So Long, London.

[aaronexplainsitall]

this too shall pass

[aaronexplainsitall]

[aaronexplainsitall]

[aaronexplainsitall]

Omg the five holes… that post haunted me for years

The thing is that there were five holes in the fence and no one can take that away from us <3

[aaronexplainsitall]

You seem like the right person to ask but what the fuck is going on in the Taylor Swift fandom? Are they OK?

Okay friend, I’m going to give you the run down. Are you sitting comfortably? 

2PM GMT - SOME TAYLOR SWIFT FANS DECIDE - FOR SEEMING ABSOLUTELY NO INTELLIGIBLE REASON - THAT THERE IS A MURAL IN NASHVILLE THAT RELATES TO TAYLOR’S NEW ALBUM

THERE ARE NO FACTS TO BACK THIS UP

TAYLOR HAS NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

HER TEAM HAVE NOT SPOKEN OF THIS MURAL

THE ONLY VAGUE LINK IS THAT IT RELATES TO HER INSTAGRAM AESTHETIC

THEY’RE GATHERING IN THEIR HUNDREDS BY THIS MURAL CONVINCED THAT SHE’S GOING TO SHOW UP

WHY?

ABSOLUTELY NO FUCKING REASON

FLASH FORWARD (and we’re taking on the world together, and there’s a drawer of my things at your place) TO 5PM GMT 

AND THE ENTIRE TAYLOR SWIFT FANDOM ON TUMBLR IS BRACING FOR THEIR MOM TO CALL THEM BOO BOO THE FOOL LIKE SHE DID WHEN THEY ASSERTED CONFIDENTLY THAT BECAUSE THERE WERE FIVE HOLES IN A FENCE ON ONE OF HER INSTAGRAM PICTURES THAT A COUNTDOWN WAS HAPPENING

THEY’RE ASSUMING CRASH POSITIONS

THIS IS GOING TO BE AN OUTING OF STUPIDITY TO THE ENTIRE WORLD

NEWS CREWS ARE GATHERING —- AGAIN FOR NO OTHER REASON THAN THE FANS THINK SOMETHING IS GOING TO HAPPEN WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EVIDENCE TO SUPPORT THIS THESIS

EVERYONE ON TUMBLR IS DISTRESSED

DISMAYED

“THE WORLD WILL KNOW THAT WE’RE INSANE!!” THEY CRY, THEIR SELF-AWARENESS THEIR LAST REDEEMING FEATURE

AND THEN

WHEN ALL HOPE IS LOST

TAYLOR ‘I’M POTENTIALLY THE ONLY PERSON MORE BATSHIT CRAZY THAN MY FANS’ SWIFT GETS HER CLOWN ASS ON INSTAGRAM

AND CONFIRMS THAT IT IS HER FUCKING MURAL AND THAT SHE IS ON THE WAY THERE

“YOU FIGURED OUT (my secrets and I figure out why you’re guarded, you say we’ll never make my parents’ mistakes) THE CLUE!” SHE SHRIEKS

THERE WERE NO CLUES

NOT ONE

THEY TURNED UP IN DROVES BECAUSE THEY ALL DESPERATELY NEED TO GET A JOB

AND THEN - 6PM GMT - THIS ANGEL/DEVIL WOMAN TURNS UP AT THE MURAL AND TAKES WHAT SEEMS LIKE A SELFIE WITH LITERALLY ABSOLUTELY EVERYONE WHO’S THERE - WHICH BY THE WAY, IS ABOUT 500 PEOPLE AT THIS POINT

AND SAYS! NOTHING ABOUT THE ALBUM! NOTHING ABOUT THE SINGLE! NOTHING ABOUT ANYTHING!

SHE JUST SHOWS UP AND SAYS HEY (it was enchanting to meet you) 

OUTSTANDING

LITERALLY OUTSTANDING 

WHO KNEW SUCH CLOWNERY AND TOMFOOLERY WAS POSSIBLE?

NOT I, GENTLE READER! NOT THE FUCK I!

I’m literally in love with Taylor Swift, I have never wanted to be a celebrity’s friend more than in this moment. She’s so messy and I live for literally every second of it, we are SOUL MATES. 

[aaronexplainsitall]

(op loves when Taylor makes country music)

[aaronexplainsitall]

absolutely criminal how falling into bad habits is the easiest thing in the world while developing positive habits feels like fighting a literal war

[aaronexplainsitall]

you know how to ball/i know aristotle is actually a good lyric, idk what's wrong with all of you

[aaronexplainsitall]

Taylor on this week’s Aria charts.

First artist in history to sweep the top 10

Most streamed album in a week

Most sold vinyl album in a week

TTPD is her 13th (!) number 1 album - the most of any female artist and 3rd overall behind Jimmy Barnes (15) and The Beatles (14)

Replaced herself at number 1 on the albums chart - Lover was number 1 last week

All 31 TTPD tracks are in the top 100

29 tracks are in the top 50, smashing the record of 20 which she held with midnights and shared with Drake

She has a total of 34 songs in the top 100 (Lover, Cruel Summer and Anti Hero are also charting) breaking the record of 32 which she held with midnights and shared with Michael Jackson

Fortnight is Taylor’s 12th number 1 single, she is 3rd of all time behind Elvis (14) and The Beatles (26)

[aaronexplainsitall]

i think we need to talk more about the bolter. what a bop. i love it.