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Took my cat to the vet yesterday told the bish she was pregnant and she got the nerves to look shock

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People will post a picture of like shrek holding a gun and say “this image made me break into a cold sweat.” “The fear this image makes me feel is indescribable.” No it isn’t. That kind of stuff doesn’t even scare me, it’s just pretend

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Weather is not small talk. It's big talk. It's the only thing worth talking about

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does anyone have the gamer dance gif because i need it

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i found this on google images im trying really hard to understand it 

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Life Could Be Dream

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THE LORD OF THE RINGS (1978)

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man i hate the allure of a good grilled cheese. you make one and eat it and its so good and perfect, maybe a little bland but in a good way and you instantly think “man that was a really good grilled cheese, im not entirely full yet, maybe i’ll have another…” dont do it. don’t even think about it. it’s the opposite of oreos. you make your second grilled cheese and 3 bites into it you’re so overwhelmed by the monotony. “this isnt nearly as good as the last one” despite being practically identical. The grilled cheese is a sacred food, it must be eaten hot, and quick. A second one only allows you to stew in the memories of the past (your previous cheese) and your nostalgia clouds your mind, creating an epic fail bite in your newest creation of dairy and grain. Show some restraint. 

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If carp could speak they would all have French accents

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this girl ate only purple go-gurt for 10 years of her life and this is what happened.

Slurp on my ‘gurt.

Cause you know its purp.

Put me in the dirt.

Put me in a shirt.

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can you imagine being dealt this hand

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why didn’t gandalf just carry the ring to mordor himself with these tongs

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hey guys i think music might be love

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i don't like soup what do you recommend

complete ego death and rebirth

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most satisfying combo of 2024: pitted medjool dates, warm lavender bath, prince of egypt movie, sobriety, day one of period