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"I would never jeopardize the beans" pales in comparison to it's newest successor, "beans r not woke. How could u do this?"

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spin this wheel of all the pokemon. you now have to fight this pokemon. just you and it, bare-knuckle

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Imagining a Marvel AU where Steve didnt get frozen, or at least wasn't really frozen for very long, and also opposes the Cold War in a way that has strongly inhibitory effects on its negative outcomes and also makes America more receptive to allowing a higher degree of socioeconomic equality.

This in conjunction with a couple of publicized aspects of comic book superscience causes a huge economic boom, and in turn causes the 50s to be like

Genuinely much closer to one of those goofy feel-good old-timey sitcom style situations.

Although this also had some unexpected side effects of both accelerating the rise of obesity and simultaneously suppressing its increasing stigma.

And of causing the idea of a "nuclear family" to be *much* more generous, typically involving *six* kids instead of three.

This effect is not only actually *co-existent* with a faster rise in environmentalism, it is regarded as a fully compatible approach to it: More people, all experiencing broadly better education, general IQ increases, and with more resources and technology, tend to actually lead to *upward* spiraling, not *downward*.

Thus all leading to Steve ending up as a big butterball musclechub father with Bucky and a whole load of kids on a big farmhouse...

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A big hurdle with people who go overboard like that is that a *shitload* of them are primed to see it as exactly the opposite of that last sentence:

That what they're doing is a vital part of what "caring for themself" means.

Because they take the sensible ideas of "self-discipline" and "sometimes you have to work hard" too far

I think we all need to start flipping the diet culture narrative that eating a little too much, indulging, resting, are all signs of poor mental health.

because you know what indicates poor mental health? punishing restriction, regimented workouts, days devoid of anything pleasurable for the fear it’ll get you “off track.”

no, actually. if you’re counting every calorie and preventing yourself from experiencing the joy of eating something good, are you okay? no seriously. do you have something you need to work through? are you good??

idk man, it seems like maybe you’re not caring for yourself.

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i’ve put on some weight since then..

(april 2023 —> april 2025, 100lb gain almost exactly)

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"There's no thought crimes and no thought heroisms" is honestly such a good piece of life advice.

You could be having the most fucked up problematic thoughts 24/7 but if you treat people with kindness, the good you do is the only thing that matters. But if you have only the purest thoughts and all the correct beliefs, it doesn't matter one bit if you spend most of your time being an asshole to people.

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and i haven’t even had my heavy cream for the day!

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Steve Harrington WG...(specifically huge musclechub flavor)

Imagining like an alternate ST setting where the proof that psychic powers are real has certain domino effects

Out of paranoia, the world's various national governments still don't just come out and *say* it's real, but they *do* covertly figure out that in a similar sense to how you can make a machine that does math, the mechanisms behind psychic phenomena actually aren't inseparable from or unique to living minds or consciousness.

Although it's cruder and more limited, the concepts are applied to machines, and the public just knows the explanations through the lens of "quantum mechanics" rather than "psychic phenomena". Which gets a pass because technically, it's not even a lie. There's just a lot of unspoken overlap between the two.

This is subtle enough that day-to-day life still looks recognizable, and hasn't suddenly turned into a sci-fi movie, but it has made most of the machines and appliances they had before suddenly faster, more compact, and more efficient, all while being cheaper, because of the huge dip in the cost of power and manufacturing that follows.

The resulting fervor to seize this advantage and stay ahead of places like China, Japan, and Russia leads to an economic boom and inflation suddenly stopping almost dead in its tracks, starting a few years before canon.

(It also makes Carter coincidentally look better, resulting in Reagan never becoming President, just to throw that in too lmao)

Along with this, they also discover that while machines can't mind control anyone, they *can* broadcast certain psychic signals to livestock and crops to repel pests and stimulate their growth, which combines extra well with the invention of new fertilizers, made with chemical processes that were previously too slow or expensive.

Thus leading to the American obesity epidemic suddenly hitting much faster and harder.

And the impact on farming also leads to Steve now has farmer relatives who he's frequently sent to stay with over the summer...

Where, unknown to most because the technology is so new, it turns out that prolonged exposure to those growth promoting signals very well *can* affect certain adolescents who aren't done growing.

Nobody puts two and two together, although to be fair, the ignorance is willful to an extent. Nobody wants to reverse a revolution to farming just because sometimes it might lead to exaggerated growth spurts.

Steve himself doesn't really mind or question it, with his opinion on it tending to oscillate between pride, ambivalence, and sometimes obliviousness, when he momentarily forgets his own size and strength. He fully believes what the doctor told him, that he just happens to have some kind of glandular condition.

The result being that by the time he's 18, he's also 6'8, about 410 pounds, star of the football team, built like a tank, and *really, really* loves to eat.

Meanwhile Eddie is no bigger than canon, but drooling a river over Big Steve... all while Steve is plowing through his fourth huge double cheeseburger in a row (that Eddie bought for him), oblivious to how Down Atrocious Eddie is, and also oblivious to how his enjoyment of the cheeseburger is making the process of eating it look and sound horny as hell.

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the distortion of "there is potential profit we did not earn" as "there is money we lost" is fascinating and disgusting to me. "megamediaconglomerate lost $1,000,000,000 to piracy this year" is a flat out lie. it is not true. they did not have a billion dollars, that they now do not have. they felt entitled to one billion dollars, that they did not have, and still do not have. it's an infuriating perversion of the truth

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want to be clear that if i ever talk about a headcanon and then later discuss a headcanon that is directly contradictory to the first one, that’s because headcanons exist in a quantum state where they are all simultaneously true and not true up until the point where i discuss it in detail, in which case that is the one that is true in that instance. schroedinger’s headcanons

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I don’t mean to be old but computer used to just have games. U didnt have to pay for em either but if u wanted u could get a little CD that put the game onto the computer and you could play it forever and ever even if the company that made it went to hell and shit. You didn’t even need the internet or wifi or anything. And it was pretty neat

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Handful of Trail Mix is your one stop solution to not passing out at 4pm. surely you cannot go wrong with Handful of Trail Mix when cooking or even using the microwave is unthinkable. handful of trail mix contains protein, carbohydrates, salt, fiber, sugar, and fat for all possible situations and challenges. handful of trail mix always tastes "okay". you are hiking your own Appalachian trail every day forgetting stuff in the other room eighty times before you can switch tasks why not try Handful of Trail Mix today and avoid breaking down your own muscle tissue for energy for another few hours

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"Wow, this kink is so weird and extreme" and then you look inside and it's literally just "what if I never had to Be Responsible or Make Good Life Decisions ever again, and somehow this was a sex thing?"

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the idea of a superhero pregnant with at least one baby whose power is shapeshifting

At the very least, that's to at least some extent also the parent's power, and the baby has a base "true" mass that it can only exceed by a certain percentage, both of which act to keep things *decently* safe and under control

Plus, the general public is just a lot more used to seeing weird things in this setting.

But even so, the parent has one hell of a time with their stomach semi-randomly changing size, bulging and squirming weirdly, the extremely variable and unpredictable amount of pressure on their organs, getting them stuck or ripping their clothes without warning, etc.

They learn that there are various triggers and cues for different reactions, and that sometimes these can be used to counteract unwanted reactions, so it's controllable *enough* to still risk a normal life.

But also still random enough to lead to a lot of Wacky Hijinks

Bonus if the parent's power is also somewhat reliant on their "true" mass, which acts as an incentive for them to gain extra weight, to ensure that they themself will always have a high enough mass limit for their body to compensate for whatever theoretically goes on in their womb...

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My subconscious keeps the rent here low by ensuring that I only ever fixate on weight gain AUs for situations and fandoms that barely anyone else cares about, and become convinced that everyone's already said/done everything worth saying for all the fandoms that are actually trending in the community.

Clearly this is a sign of my subconscious brilliance, reflexively coming up with an ingenious cost-saving methodology all its own.

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Note: Avatar weight gain kink scenario below.

I figure that if it's under a readmore, it's fine to use the main tags, since nobody *has* to look at it.

Anyway... WG AU based around initial contact with the Na'vi being a lot friendlier

It's not even that humanity is just conveniently super nice, so much as just being more rational and pragmatic.

It simply makes *more sense* to just collect limited samples of exotic substances, then beam back data-comm lasers of their research, analysis, and findings, so that people back home can simply synthesize all of that stuff locally instead of trying to base this economy on goods that require a twelve year long, high-risk round trip to be of any use.

And that it's also more rational to be minimally disruptive to the environment, simply because you don't want to be unwittingly destroying or disrupting things of value.

Unobtainium especially, being a room-temp superconductor, has the property that once a decent startup amount is made artificially in gigantic fusion/orbital solar farm powered particle accelerators, you can feed it back into manufacturing better, more powerful, more scalable, and vastly more energy efficient versions of that infrastructure.

This approach naturally both enables and requires a loop of ever-increasing depth of skill and knowledge with exotic, high-energy physics and megascale high-efficiency supercomputers, and massively cuts down on the hugely wasteful and expensive burden of how many ships have to travel between Earth and Pandora, freeing up that massive amount of time, effort, and money to be invested elsewhere.

As a result, mere decades go by before a tangent of this research leads to the discovery of how to make a traversable wormhole that's also relatively low-energy and affordable, at least on the overall scale of human civilization's mass and energy budgets.

At which point, not only do humans have a much less obtrusive way of accessing Pandora, this leads to a huge surge of cultural exchange and trade.

...And sudden spikes in Na'vi obesity.

As it turns out, with just some engineered nanites and symbiotic bacteria to handle potential toxins and intolerances, Na'vi not only *can* eat human food, there's plenty of it that becomes a huge hit, and it also becomes popular to copy human cooking techniques and apply them to Na'vi ingredients.

It also turns out that in order to reduce their environmental burden, Eywa subtly and systematically steered *all* Na'vi towards having surprisingly low calorie requirements for their size.

Their lifestyle is enough to make the epidemic naturally self-limiting for the most part, as the Na'vi majority just shifts towards becoming chubbier and more muscular rather than outright enormous.

But with humanity having been far less aggressive and disruptive, many Na'vi are curious and trusting enough to willingly visit and move into the orbital habitats, and the underground or otherwise minimally intrusive, environmentally integrated arcologies that Eywa pretty much ignores and no longer has any sanctions against, as they've proven they are good enough at self-sufficiency and recycling as to have minimal environmental impact when planned well.

And it's in *these* places that Na'vi gaining tends to truly spiral, especially because with their naturally superior strength and stamina, the Na'vi often tend to be more oblivious to and less adversely affected by the weight gain in the first place, leading to inherently less incentive to want to *do* anything about it.

In turn, tweaks and modifications to the avatar system itself also allow local humans to not need suits *or* heavily hybridized new bodies, instead undergoing procedures where nanites introduce *just enough* Na'vi genes and modifications to their pre-existing bodies to bridge physiological incompatibilities with food and air...

But in doing so, also confer similar increases in strength, stamina, and metabolic efficiency...

Which also leads to many local humans *also* coming to see worrying about weight as irrational and pointless.

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normal thoughts about honkai star rail wg...

Belobog getting genuinely benevolent, no-strings-attached foreign aid as a result of increased publicity, sparking a "post-Stellaron economic miracle" that results in vastly accelerated recovery, and a huge spike in both population and obesity...

Especially because the strictures of resource bottlenecks resulted in most Belobogians naturally ending up with slower, more efficient metabolisms.

Although this is paired with a cultural bent towards pragmatism and self-sufficiency, both as leftover tendencies from the Stellaron Era and as a defense mechanism against future foreign exploitation attempts, resulting in beefy, well-fed musclechub body types becoming the most coveted.

Gepard blows up to like 450 pounds of fat and muscle, with like at least 10 kids, and this just makes him more desirable than ever, incentivising more and more guys to emulate him.

Luka also becomes so determined to pile on mass that the process becomes addictive to him, not just because he's enjoying it, but because Belobogian boxing and other contact sports all quickly get themselves into a spiral of most serious competitors being strongly incentivised to always be aiming to get bigger.

Done not just to stay competitive, but also expand their fanbases, and get a guaranteed stream of publicity based around the sheer spectacle of how much mass they're packing on, and how much eating and training they require to pull it off.