abloggeringermany

[abloggeringermany]

My (probably) last text on Tumblr

Today I decided, that I will continue with my Diary texts on personal Word documents or notices. There are several reasons for that, that I shortly described in my 29th January 2018- day text. During the time I don’t have my new handy, I will write the diary texts in WORD-Documents.

It was a good time here, although it don’t made fun to write these texts everyday xD.

I will post something here, on the days were I experienced a lot, like on vacations and so on :P

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 28th January 2018

I woke up today at 10am at Lil’s houseboat. I (friend) was also there. We ate some breakfast there, and then at 12am I walked home with I. I (me) arrived at home at 1pm. 

At home I just watched some episodes of South Park, heard some music and did some chores. At 4pm I met up with Ka, because we both wanted to go to the cinema, for watching the movie “Your Name”. The movie was very very beautiful. 

After watching the movie we both decided unprompted to go to forsaken places he knews, like the old garden place of my father, where I celebrated my 11-13th birthday, or an old shelter, or 2 old forsaken houses in Hanau. It was very scary all in all, and I have a lot of video material from there. Sadly my camera on the new handy is bad, so it’s a very dark graphic.

After that we went to Ka’s home, where we both smoked some Shisha and wrote some sh’t in Whatsapp groups. At 1am I went home, and I arrived there at 2am. I walked home.

At home I needed to do a lot of stuff, so I went to bed very late at 4am. In the moment I’m statisfied with my social status. I often come back home late, but I experience something. Not every day is the same.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 27th January 2018

Well, today wasn’t special at all. In the moment I have nearly no contact with Li, but a lot of contact with my ex-girlfriend Le.

In the night I want to drive to Wiesbaden by train, but I missed the last train at 12:50pm. In Wiesbaden I wanted to do some kind of Job. So I just walked through my city. At 1:30am Lil and I phoned me and we decided that I come to them. So I walked through the whole city and a lot of scary places, just to arrive at Lil’s houseboat. I arrived there at 2am. We don’t did anything special there, we just talked about school stuff and so on. During the night I talked with Lil a lot about last saturday (20th January) and my situation with Le.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 26th January 2018

I woke up too late for school again, and I arrived at school too late again. Although I went to bed early yesterday... The schooldat was very unspecial, so I don't really need to mention it. The day after school also was very unspecial. I tried to repair my bike, but I failed in that. So I decided to get myself a bike, by doing a job. I will probably have a new bike today or tomorrow. At 8pm I met my old classmate M. We just talked about some things, what we did in the past. We both went through so many things and experienced so much. And it's soo sad that we don't have pictures of these experiences. I went home again at 10pm. I went to bed today at 12pm. I didn't read a book before I felt asleep.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 25th January 2018

The school day was nothing special again, in the moment we have a lot of periods where we just have free time, instead of learning something. I hate school hours like these, because my class is way too loud in that moments, and in my class there are a lot of turks/kurds/ arabians and russians, so it's a very very loud class. I hope that it'll get better in the 12th class. Li wasn't in school today. I shortly wrote with her on whatsapp, but the situation seems to be negative between us. Anyway, today was the 4th birthday of my brother. Because my mother always buys stuff and never throw anything away, so that the flat looks like a big waste field, my brother wasn't allowed to invite any friends. I also didn't celebrated it, and to be honest I even forgot about that. At 4pm I met Le my ex-girlfriend. We just talked about the situation between us and made some fun of other things. We went to the Surfsee in Bischofsheim. We don't went to the main place there, no we walked to a kinda lonely place. There we hung out for 3 hours. At 8pm we both went home again. It was all in all a very cool day with her. I arrived at home at 9pm. I did nothing special there, I didn't even have done my homework. I went to bed at 11pm. Like the whole last week, I didn't read a book before I felt asleep.

[abloggeringermany]

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 24th January 2018

In the moment I often fail in writing the date, because I tip in 2017 instead of 2018. The school day was nothing special, just a normal wednesday. In the end of the day we had PE, where I didn't participate, like always in that subject. After school, my classmate G drove me to the Westend of Hanau. I met C there. We both went to the Hanau library, where we did our big english homework. It were 18 tasks and he wabted to did 9 and me too. But I only finished 7 and he 8. I will probably do the rest tomorrow. After that I went home, were I arrived at 9pm. I did nothing special there, I did some school stuff, chores, took a shower, watched an episode of a series and felt asleep then. I wrote nothing with Li today, but I decided to change something in my character, to get higher social status and to get Li as a nearer friend. I should stay more optimistic in everything. I will make me some plans tomorrow to that two points.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 23rd January 2018

I’m very afraid of that my social status is fragile again. With I I talk nearly nothing, Lil don’t seem to be 100% happy with me, Le is only in love with a boy for 2 weeks, J seems to be dead, the class is a catastrophe and Li is a dumb slt. So it probably won’t take long untill everything breaks again. On Thursday I will met up with Le, and I still don’t know what I should tell her... If I love her, or if we shouldn’t be in a relationship again. I think I’m in love with Le and Li, but Li is still my number 1. But Li is a dumb bithc and Le my ex-girlfriend, who fells in love with every boy that only smiled to her. I think the outcome of whatever I do on Thursday will be the first big crack in my social status... and then I would be alone again, like the last year... I just hate people, especially women. They are always looking only on the outside of the people. Although everybody is saying that the inside of a human is more important, nobody really believes that, especially women. Women have it so easy to find friends, they always get protected by somebody and they have big advantages in school. I just hate women. But all in all I hate all people. Everybody.

The school day was absolutely shitty again, Li was not in school today, what is better for me and I had the last two lessons free. I also wrote a little bit with Li on Whatsapp today, but she acted like always (arrogant and not interested). 

I shortly stayed in Hanau, and then I went home again. After a short stay in home I went back to Hanau, to the driver’s school. I surprisingly met my classmate B there, who had her first theory lesson today. 

After driver’s school I went back home, where I just did the same as always. Wasting my time. I went to bed at 1:30am, because I need to write a lot of Diary texts today.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 22nd January 2018

In the moment I’m thinking of buying me a new Samsung Galaxy S8... I wonder if I will really do that. 

Well the weekend was absolutely crazy, but today was a day were I could chill out... Well that isn’t really true: For what reason so ever, the class seemed to be really shitty to me, and now I realized how bad everything evolved in the last week. I have nearly no friends in class anymore, K still acts strange, Li is... I don’t know, all the girls are acting like bithces and the only people to hang out for me are C and G.

After this catastrophal school day, where I also forgot a meeting with I in the second break, I went to my father, where I got shown how to use EBay for selling things. I will need a lot of money for a new smartphone, and I want to earn it for myself. 

At 5pm I phoned with I on TeamSpeak, I shortly told her about the weekend, and about my situation with my ex-girlfriend Le and my classmate Li. But as always when I’m telling something it didn’t seem to interest her. Well I(me) need to acceptate this.

After that call I went to the driver’s school, where I got some problems with tiredness. I don’t know why, but I nealry fell asleep there, although the lesson was very interesting. 

After the lesson ended at 8pm, I phoned with Lil for about 40 minutes. We talked about the weekend, and about my situation with Le now. I will have a meeting with Le on Thursday. After a short break I phoned with her again, this time for 50 minutes...

At home I just heard some music and watched an Episode of a series. I didn’t read a book before I felt asleep at 1am.

[abloggeringermany]

My days on 20th and 21st January 2018

Well, the first hours of saturday the 20th January I did nothing special. I just did some Homework and chores. 

At 5pm I met with I, L, J and my ex-girlfriend Le. It was kinda boring at the beginning, because I was the only boy in the group. First we went to a McDonalds in Hanau, and then to a Bar, where we drank some Cocktails. After that J and I (friend) surprisingly went home at 8pm. 

So we 3 were alone again, like last week. Just me, L and Le. We first just walked through the city and hanged out, later we went to a Shisha Bar, where we stayed untill 11:30pm. After that we went to the western train station, where we missed the last train by 5 minutes. And that was the moment when things started to get crazy. The night from 20th to 21st January 2018 is probably the most unforgetable night in my life untill yet. 

Remember one Detail for later: I forgot my Smartphone at home.

First we just chilled at the train station, and talked about what we are going to do about this situation, and how we could get home. I wasn’t very interested about that, because I don’t really wanted to go home. At 1am L asked Ka, a good friend of her, if he can drive us home in his car. He arrived at arround 1:30am, it was very very scary at that time in Hanau. 

At 1:30am Ka and his friend E arrived in Hanau. They both directly started to just make fun of Lil all the time. But she also thought that it is funny, so everybody laughed. We made fun of her walking problems and her ex-boyfriend. At 2am we arrived at Ka’s home. We only stayed short there, untill E, Ka, Le and me (so everybody except for Lil) drove to the nearest petrol station. We bought some alcohol there. Sadly it only were 2 bottles of relatively low alc. volume, but we recognized that as the bottles were already bought. 

We arrived at Ka’s home again at 3am. We drank the alcohol, played video games, heard music and talked all the time, it was very fun there. 

At arround 4:30am (there are chats existing between Ka and Lil of the following action, so I know the time), Le and me slowly started to cuddle, what ended in a tongue-kissing. In the moment I have made so many bad experiences with Li, that I saw a solution in Le. And it isn’t that I wouldn’t completly not-love her. But I think it was very very wrong to do that.

So anyway, Ka made some new tobacco on his Shisha, so it got me away from cuddling with Le. After that everything got “normal” again. Over all the time I had very much hunger and was very very thirsty. We found some Fish Sticks in Ka’s flat, that we made and ate after that. At 7am E needed to go home, and shortly after that Ka felt asleep. So Lil, Le and me decided to go to bed too. Le and me lay on a huge pillow. She layed nearby me, and I wrapped my arm arround her.

We woke up again at 10am again, and it was a very very bad awakening. I found out that over the whole night the police was searching for me, because I didn’t told my parents that I won’t come home that night. I thought that my mother is in Hofheim today, that’s why I told nobody about that. Also I didn’t had my Handy with me. I found it out through a phone call on Lil’s Handy. Later the police also came to Ka’s flat, because they wanted to see my ID card. 

At 11am I walked to my father, who lives near Ka’s flat. I walked with Le the most of the way. At 11:15am I arrived at my father’s flat. There he talked about in how much trouble he was last night, and what he all did for me last night. He was very very angry and happy on the same time. We talked for about 2 hours with me. After that I took a bus and went home again.

I arrived at home at 2pm, my mother talked nearly nothing with me about last night. She was just disappointed. So I learned that I should always wear a Handy with me... At home I don’t did much, I just watched some serieses and took a short sleep. 

At 7pm I went to an asian restaurant with my mother. There we talked about the whole situation. About that my stepfather C moves away from our flat, and that she found a new friend in Augsburg. I was hungry and thirsty over the whole 2 days, and after eating on the restaurant I directly felt 100 times better. We went home again at 9pm.

At home I don’t did much. I went to bed at 12pm, because it’s school tomorrow. Well that were 2 crazy days...

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 19th January 2018

I wake up very late at 10am. I skipped school today, because I only had 4 school hours and I'm still pissed off of Li.

At 1pm I went to my fathers flat. We went to a bike repairer, and got our bikes back repaired at 3pm. It's probably the first time since 2 months that I ride my main bike again. It feels so comfortable and fast compared to my second bike and to walking.

At 5pm I cycled back home (Wow I didn't wrote that for a long time now). At home I just did some chores. At 6pm I went to the driver's school. Originally I want to met there up with Sel, but she didn't felt good, so I only met Al there. The period ended at 8pm. I arrived back at home at 8:20pm. Li wrote quiet a lot with me on Whatsapp shortly before the period began. She wrote nothing the whole day, but when I have no time She writes me... Also we both pretend as if nothing happened, I think.

At home I just watched some episodes of an series and went to bed then. I felt asleep at 2am. I didn't read a book or watched an Anime before I felt asleep.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 18th January 2018

I finally did it, I did it. I did what I wanted to do the whole holidays long. I told Li that I love her, and her reaction was destroying. I got a big cold over night, so I took some medicine before I went to school. As I arrived there, I waited for the first two school hours untill I said it to her. In the first break I asked her to come to the library. I felt very nervous in that moment, and told her that what I’m going to say is embarrassing for me. But then I just said it. And all that cunt did was to say “Ach komm” and then walked away. She didn’t say it as if she already knew it, no she said it as if it wouldn’t care her.

That’s why I hate women, they have the control over today’s men. Also they don’t have even a bit of feelings. They don’t care if they going to hurt a boy psychologically or not, because it’s to them for choosing which partner they want to have, and they always only choose the strongest and meanest guys, because they believe in them that they can be protected by their man. And that’s what is pissing me off. You here the people talking everywhere about feminism and that women still have no equal rights with men and so on, but I believe that women already have much more rights than men. And Immigrants in Germany already have much more rights and a higher status in the society than native’s. That’s why I hate the society. Fck Immigrants, Fck women and the most important thing: Fck that russian/moldovan or whatever girl I’m trying to get together with since nearly a half year. I’m just completly pissed of with all of that society-talking!

As I arrived at home at 4pm I wasn’t sad or something, no I was just angry. I did some chores at home, watched some episodes of South Park and talked a little bit with I on ts. I told her about the situation with Li, but it doesn’t seem to care her much. 

At 6pm I went to the supermarket and bought some alcohol. I went to the playground nearby the Main river and got drunk there. I thought about what I am doing with my life and so on. In 8 months I will turn 18, and I still didn’t used my youth time: I wasn’t able to celebrate parties or went to clubs and so on, I only had 2 girlfriends in my youth and all the loves I had went down the river. I just hate everybody in the moment, but I mostly hate women and immigrants.

I arrived back at home at 10pm, nobody really recognized that I drunk some alcohol, because the effect was nearly gone in that time. I watched a series and went to bed very early at 11pm.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 17th January 2018

The school day wasn’t a normal one, ‘cause me and my classmates had the option to go to an extremism course today. Me and 14 of my classmates went to to that course. Li wasn’t there. The 4- hour course was rather boring, and we just talked about islamic extremism, like always. I don’t think that Germany will survive the next 10 years, because of muslim “invasion”. 

Luckily I had school out today after the 6th period, so I had no PE today ^^. After school I went to my father, where I did the same as always, watched some TV, ate something tasty and talked about a lot of things. 

I arrived at home again at 7pm. I only watched some series and some episodes of an Anime all the time. After that I did some homework, wrote a little bit on Whatsapp, although my other (”real”) handy (S4) got broken and went to bed at 1am.

Before I went to bed, I wrote a little Love letter for Li, that I will probably give her tomorrow in the first break and read a book. I wrote nearly nothing with Li today, because she wasn’t online for nearly the whole day. I’m very happy, that I got a better maths exam than her. She got 11 points, and I 13. I got the best exam in the class. 

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 16th January 2018

I just had a normal school day today. It was a 9 hour day. I got some marks in 4 subjects, but the marks aren't important this year.

After school I talked a little bit with S and Sel and walked with them to the Bus stop, then I walked to the car office (I don't know the english word for "Zulassungsstelle"). After that I walked home and then to the driver's school, where I had my second theory lesson.

I arrived at home again at 9pm. I did some chores at home and watched an Anime before I felt asleep at 12pm.

I also got the old Handy of my Grandpa today, on that I installed Whatsapp, but saved no contacts. I want to buy a new Smartphone in the next two months, probably an S7. I wrote a lot with my ex-girlfriend Le today,and nearly nothing with Li. I also wanted to tell Li today that I love her, but I moved that to Thursday the 18th January.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 15th January 2018

It wasn't only the first school day today, no today I also had my first theory lesson in driver's school.

I woke up much too late for school, but luckily the teacher didn't recognized it. We got some new teachers and a new timetable for the next 4 weeks, because my class teacher has some children holidays. In school we don't did much, we got our Businessplans back, and my group had the best one of the whole class with 13 points. With Li I talked nearly nothing today.

After school I went home and did some chores there.

At 6pm I drove to the driver's school, where I talked with a 20 year ols boy who seems to be relatively nice. We also changed numbers. Alex is his name.

I arrived at home again at 8pm. At home. I just phoned a little bit with I and her friend S, watched some South Park episodes and went to bed at 12pm.

I read a book and watched an episode of the Anime "Another".

Also at 11pm my handy "died". For other people it's not tragic or something like that at all, if their handy doesn't function anymore, but in my case, it's not the same. The reson for that is, that I got my Handy, the Samsung Galaxy S4 on 31st October 2014. It worked for nearly 4 years! Most people change their Smartphones every second year. Also I wonder if I should really tell Li tomorrow that I love her, because I won't see her reaction on Whatsapp. But I will domefinitly so that in the next 2 weeks!

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 14th January 2018

Like 11th and 12th January 2018, today was no special day. It’s the last day of the Christmas holidays. At 2pm I went to my father, where we ate some tasty chicken nuggets, and then we both went to my aunt B at 4pm. I talked with them about my trip to the alps and showed them some pictures of the trip. 

At 6pm we went home again, where I arrived at 7pm. I wrote a lot with my classmates and my ex-girlfriend Le today. Also Li wrote me yesterday for the first time since 5th, but it was only about school stuff. 

In the moment I have a relatively good social status, I’m statisfied. But I’m afraid, that it won’t last for long. But at this moment I have some contacts in class, some contacts of I’s friends, I have my old classmate M and his friend Ro, I have S since a couple of days, and I have my best friend J, although we both had nearly no contact the last months, what is kinda sad, because for nearly a half year he was my only contact. I’m so happy, that I made the step to ask I for a talk in October last year... Also I’m happy that I got some contacts because of K in class, although we both aren’t friends anymore. But all in all it got a looot better since September, I can’t say that enough.

I went to bed relatively early today, because tomorrow is the first school day, at 12pm. I watched an Anime and read a book before I felt asleep.

[abloggeringermany]

My day on 13th January 2018

I wokeup at 9am at I’s room. I had some breakfast 1 stage above, and then we tested out some Rainbow Six for a couple of hours. We switched after every round. I didn’t really understand the game... Also Li wrote me today at 11am for the first time since 5th January! Now I’m really wondered, if I should said her on 16th what my feelings for her are...

At 3pm I went home again, I ate something there, and then I directly went to the cinema in Hanau. I met Lil, my ex-girlfriend Le and a friend of them R there. We watched the movie Star Wars VIII. I don’t really like Star Wars, but who cares xD. Me and my ex-girlfriend had no real problems today, we even talked a lot about the past today. 

After the movie we went to a Shisha Bar at 9pm, but without R. We just talked about some things that are going on in the moment. At 11pm we went home again. I arrived at home at 12pm. My mother is still in Augsburg, so I nearly had free house. I went to bed at 3am today, I watched an Anime before I felt asleep.