absideon-ephemeral

[absideon-ephemeral]

Sky | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x reader

Summary: The sky is always changing. Never the same twice. But it’s never been the same since you’ve been gone.

Warnings: ANGST, slight gore, descriptions of blood and death. Violence. I want to make someone cry (probably myself). Language, not a happy ending.

A/N: First off, y’all shocked the hell out of me. 1k+ likes on Dog Tags?!?! Thank y’all so much. I was inspired by the book Strange The Dreamer to write this.

The sky is ever changing.

Never the same twice.

The sunrise is always different and so is the sunset.

Nothing is ever the same when it comes to the sky.

And nothing will ever be the same for him either. . .

It was supposed to be an easy mission. A simple take down. But when has anything ever been easy for any of you?

It started when Sam received word that a new group of extremists were forming in Madripoor. It was small, a rag-tag Flag-smasher wannabe group. They preached the same message: those who survived the snap were forgotten when the rest came back and deserve the same help as they did. Not wanting to repeat the whole situation over again, Sharon (who had yet to come out as the Power Broker) contacted Sam who then contacted you and Bucky to help solve this rising problem. After a quick debrief from Sam, you three were boarding a plane (courtesy of Sharon) and off to Madripoor.

From there, the rest seemed like a blur. You remember suiting up and the debrief, locating the exact place. You remember the ride there, sitting alone in the back seat while Sam drove and Bucky rode shot gun. You remember looking out the window as you drove on, the sky a pale gray; the kind indicating a storm coming in. You remember Bucky calling your name, asking if you were okay. You nodded, not letting on to the growing unease within you.

It was a fairly short ride. You parked a distance away as to not attract attention. When you finally snuck up on the building, your unease turned to dread. The rag-tag group chose an abandoned steel mill as their hide out. That meant all sorts of sharp metal pieces were probably lying about. Now you had to worry about those kind of hazards as well. As you three snuck over the wrought iron fence, mindful of the sharp spikes on the top, drops of rain began to appear. Your feeling of dread increased the closer you go to the building.

“Guys, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.” You moved into position to breach the door. Bucky and Sam glanced at you, concern flashing over their faces. They knew you, and when you say you have a bad feeling, majority of the time you’re right.

Bucky glanced back at Sam. “She’s right. Something’s off. It’s too. . .quiet.”

“Look, we’ve got to take out these guys before they cause too much trouble. We’ll just have to be more careful. We’ll watch each others six and the minute we see something too dangerous we’ll pull out, okay?” Sam replied. You and Bucky nodded, understanding that this was something that had to be taken care of.

You three breached the back door, already suspicious that no alarms had been triggered. You three moved along the bottom floor, weaving in and out of old machines and metal. It was quiet. Too quiet. Your thoughts were racing - either they’ve relocated or all hell is about to break loose. Just as you three moved out from under the second story balcony, the latter came true. You were the first to see it, the glint of polished black metal moving above.

“Get down!!” You barely had any time to yell before figures popped up from above and began raining down bullets.

The three of you were forced to split up, taking refuge behind machines. You couldn’t see either of your partners and you assumed they couldn’t see you. The bullets pinged off oft the metal as the people above kept trying to get a better shot at you.

“Are either of you hurt?!” Sam yelled through the comms.

“Negative!” Both you and Bucky yelled back. The bullets paused a moment - reload time. You took this as your opportunity to pop up and and take a couple shots, downing a few of them. You only managed to shoot three before the bullets began again. One managed to graze your left arm as you ducked down.

“Shit!” You press your hand to the graze, palm coming back bloody.

Bucky frantically called your name through the comms. “What happened, did you get hit?” His tone was frantic and laced with worry.

“Just a graze. Took down three of them. How you two holding up?”

“Can’t get a single shot in,” Bucky said.

“Neither can I. I’m deploying Red-wing.” Sam deployed the little robot and had it zooming around the room, hitting people with small little bombs or electrical charges. Between you and Red-wing, most of the people were either dead or incapacitated. All except one.

That single person took off running, ending their gun fire and allowing you three to get up.

“Split up! We can’t let him get away!” You yelled. Before the other two could protest, you were on your feet and sprinting after the criminal.

Your blood was pumping. Heart racing. The criminal was sprinting, almost inhumanly fast. You had to dodge machines and steel and objects thrown in your way. You managed to get all the way to the third floor when you lost sight of him. Coming to the end of a hallway, there was a split. A 50/50 chance you would either catch this guy or not. A curse fell from your lips.

“Sam, Buck, you got eyes on our guy? I lost him on the third floor. Don’t know if he circled back around.” You kept glancing back and forth from your left to your right. Straight ahead of you was a window out looking the fence you crossed over earlier. The rain had stopped and the sky began to clear its way into the beginnings of a sunset.

“Negative on the second floor,” Bucky replied.

“Nothing on the first either,” Sam added.

You sighed. Weighing your choices. You were just about to turn back around when you caught movement out of the corner of your eye.

They were fast - too fast. You barely had time to block before they were swinging at you left and right. When the shock finally wore off you began to fight back. Trying to match their pace but beginning to fail. You went to kick, but they dodged and your step faltered.

Big mistake.

The criminal used this to his advantage, grabbing you by the neck and slamming you against the glass window. You couldn’t breathe right. You tried to gain leverage but just couldn’t. Your comm has been knocked out and effectively cut you off from help. He slammed you against it again, and again. The window began to crack and spider. Your adrenaline rose with the noise and with a newfound strength, you managed to get your legs up and kick him hard in the chest and groin. Stunned, the man let’s go, and you drop to the floor, gasping for breath.

But the fight isn’t over yet.

He straightens, you scramble off the floor, and the dance of death begins. Both of you were exchanging blows left and right: dancing in an intricate circle to live. You turn again, your back to the window. And that’s when your bad feeling came true.

All it took was a moment of hesitation.

A moment where Bucky came skidding around the corner and into the hallway to your left.

A moment where he yelled your name.

A moment to turn your head and take your eyes off your opponent.

And then you were through the window. Shattering glass as the man drop kicked you straight through it.

For a moment you were weightless. Like time had stopped and you were floating in the air surrounded by bits of glass.

But then gravity kicked in.

And you were falling.

Normally a three story fall wouldn’t be so bad. You would end up with a few broken bones or minor injuries that could easily be healed (thank you advanced tech). But, that’s only if you land on straight ground.

No one said anything about an iron fence.

The grief on Bucky’s face as he stood in the window and the pinkish hue of the sky were the last things you saw before your body suddenly jerked and everything went dark.

And Bucky, your poor, poor Bucky, saw it all.

He shot the guy down a second after you went through the window, racing to the edge to see if you would be fine. But he too, forgot about that wrought iron fence. He was helpless. He could only scream your name as you fell to your death. His cry of anguish could be heard all throughout Madripoor as your body collided with the fence and on one of those sharp iron spikes. It went right through your chest - the force of the landing snapping your spine, ensuring a swift death.

He backed away from the window, slowly, and once he could no longer see your body, he ran. Down to the first floor, past a confused Sam (who ran after him), out the door, and to you.

He hoped it was all just some bad dream. You looked too beautiful to be dead. Even as blood ran into your hair and dripped down the fence you still looked beautiful. Your body was arched over the iron: back curled and arms open wide as if you were rejoicing. The spike sticking straight out from you chest and glistening with dark blood. Your eyes open yet dull. He stopped right under you.

Sam, the poor fool, had heard his partners screams and followed him when he ran past. He was a few paces behind Bucky, slowly walking out to meet him. As he approached, his stomach sank.

There you were - beautifully arched over a iron fence, covered in blood, and a spike through your chest. Sam felt sick. Just a few moments ago you were running and shooting. You can’t be dead.

The same thoughts were running through Bucky’s head. He just saw you. You had looked at him. You were alive and fighting mere seconds ago.

But now you were gone.

Bucky called your name softly, tears beginning to silently fall. He approached the fence and placed his hands under your neck and at the small of your back. He painstakingly lifted you off the fence, the wet squelch from blood sounding as he did. He made it but two steps from the fence before collapsing with you in his arms. His hands and arms were now soaked in blood. He kept calling your name, begging you to wake up. Sam slowly approached and kneeled in front of him.

“Buck,” Sam called softly. Tears began to fall down his face as well.

Bucky shook his head. “No, no we can still fix her. Call an ambulance or something. We can still help her.”

Sam said nothing. Only staring at his partner holding the love of his life in his arms. Upon hearing no answer, Bucky lifted his head, bloodshot eyes meeting Sam’s.

“Sam do something! Please, please help her. Sam, please,”

Sam could do nothing but shake his head. She was gone. Nothing could help now.

A gut wrenching sob tore through Bucky and he curled around you, laying his head in the crook of you neck, trying to keep hold of what little warmth your body had left.

The two boys sat, one silently crying, mourning the death of a partner and the grief of his friend; and one furiously sobbing, clutching the dead body of his love.

As the two sat in the abandoned steel yard, the sky gave away to a beautiful sunset. One with oranges, purples, pinks, and reds.

Nothing was the same for Bucky since the day you died.

And the sunset began to haunt him, reminding him of you arched over the fence with a beautiful sunset behind you.

No, nothing will ever be the same.

Especially the sky.

[absideon-ephemeral]

Wtf y’all I posted Dog Tags as a joke. I did not expect it to go past 15 likes. But since I got a good response, who should I write for next?

[absideon-ephemeral]

Taking requests! Just be sure to read my rules before you do! Slowly getting back into writing and need some ideas.

[absideon-ephemeral]

Dog Tags | Bucky Barnes

Bucky Barnes x (fem) reader

Summary: there is something about Bucky’s dog tags that drove both of you crazy.

A/N: SET AFTER THE SHOW THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER. I have a head cannon that Bucky ended up moving to Louisiana and buying a house close to Sarah.

Warnings: (hopefully) tooth rotting fluff, mild language, Reader described as having boobs, suggestive themes, illness, idk what I missed so read at your own advisory I guess.

There was something about them.

Those fucking dog tags.

He wore them every moment of every day: didn’t even take them off to shower or sleep.

They were just pieces of metal (although they had special value to him) so you couldn’t figure out why it drove you crazy whenever you caught a glimpse of them.

I was a good kind of crazy though. One that would make you go feral for him. You never voiced this to your beautiful lover, but he knew. Oh, he knew.

After finding out about your obsession from Sam a little birdie, he would make any excuse to show them off. In the shower, working out, cuddling? Bucky did it all. (His favorite was seeing them dangle and slap your face while he has you folded in half).

But his ultimate favorite ended up happening on a quiet Sunday morning. . .

———————————————————————

It was early. Early enough to just begin to hear the birds chirp and see the sun start to rise. Bucky unlocked your shared front door and crept inside as quietly as possible.

For the past week, he had been away on some diplomatic mission to tie up loose ends left from the Flagsmashers. His week was crammed full of press conferences, meetings, and the occasional man hunt for a left-over Smasher. And for the past week, his stress has been through the roof.

It all started when he had managed to forget his dogs tags on the bathroom counter the morning he left. For the rest of the week, an unsettling weightlessness sat on his chest and the absence of the familiar, cool metal was strange. The tags brought him comfort: it kept him grounded and reminded him of who he is. On rough days, they acted as a form of emotional support - reminding him that he is James Buchanan Barnes and not him. Without them, a strange hollowness followed him everywhere.

And to make matters worse, you ended up falling sick with something close to pneumonia the day after he left. He was helpless and couldn’t do anything more than call and pester Sarah to check on you.

So he felt empty and stressed, but now he was home and wanted nothing more than to crawl into bed with you.

As quietly as possible, Bucky set down his bag and toed off his mud-crusted boots, making his way to the kitchen after. He tried (keyword, tried) to quietly recreate his mom’s famous chicken noodle soup for you, but it was a bit hard when his metal arm ‘clinked’ against the pot and bowl.

Once he was satisfied with the meal he prepared, he grabbed a glass of water and made his way to your shared bedroom.

Nudging the door open, he was greeted with the sight of your sleeping form sprawled out on the bed. Setting the soup and water on the bedside table, he sat on the edge of the bed to silently admire you.

There you lay, hair a messy halo on the pillow and small snores accompanying each breath. He took note that you were wearing his old red shirt with the words “can you give me a hand?” written across it (Sam had given it to him during a visit to Wakanda when he was an armless mess). But the thing he noticed most was the harsh rasp and rattle of your lungs with each breath. A frown fell upon his face as he decided wether or not to wake you up. On one hand, he wanted you to enjoy your, seemingly peaceful, sleep; but on the other, he knew that you needed to clear your lungs before you suffocated on mucus.

The thought of you not suffocating won over and he gently shook you awake. It took a couple shakes and the quiet repetition of your name to elicit a groan from you. From there, he began to gently coax you further into awareness.

“Come on doll, I’m finally home and want to see those pretty eyes. I need you to get up, hon.” He spoke softly.

Slowly but surely, your eyes opened and you had to blink a few times to clear them. Upon seeing the beautiful face of your lover you shot up, despite the protest of your sluggish body, and threw your arms around his neck.

“I missed you so much.” Your voice was hoarse from coughing and sounded so frail.

“I missed you too, darling. I know you’re probably still tired, but how about we take a nice, warm shower together, hm? That way we can both be clean and we can loosen up that gunk in your lungs.”

You simply nodded, too tired and on the brink of falling asleep against him. He wrapped you up in his arms and carried out of bed and to the bathroom. Once inside, he set you down on the toilet and turned on the shower all the way to hot. He stripped himself bare, save for his boxers, and then began to help you.

Kneeling in front of you, he placed his hands on your waistband, a silent ask of permission. You lifted your hips just enough for him to slide your shorts off. The shirt came next. But it’s what was under it that caught him off guard.

It wasn’t the fact that you weren’t wearing a bra, no, he was used to that.

But it was the fact that you were wearing his dog tags.

His dog tags.

The ones he left behind and had felt their absence all week.

Sitting so prettily between your breasts, shining and slick with condensation.

For a minute his brain short circuited - snapping into a daze as the bathroom began to fill with hot, thick steam. But it was your voice that brought him back.

“Bucky?” The small call was followed by a series of coughs that racked your whole body.

He immediately sprang into action, rubbing your back and pushing your damp hair away from your face. Reassuring words spilled out of his mouth like a poem; guiding you through it and reminding you to try and breathe. By the time the coughing subsided and you could breathe again, your chest hurt and your lungs were so tired. Bucky could see your exhaust and it pained him to see you so tired.

“Whats on your mind?” The question caught him off guard.

“Nothing hun. Just thinking about how pretty you look wearing my tags.”

A small grin broke out on your face, “you like when I wear ‘em?”

His eyes met yours. “Honey, I absolutely fucking love it.”

A raspy chuckle escaped you. “Good. Cause I want to wear them if that’s okay with you. Especially when you’re not here. It’s like I have you right beside me no matter what.”

Bucky smiled and stood up, stripping you and himself of the remaining clothes and guiding you off the toilet and to the shower. “Doll, you can wear them whenever you want. You can wear them forever if that’s what it takes to make you always feel safe and loved,” he stepped into the shower, allowing the warm water to hit him first, “but I will always be by your side. With or without those tags.”

A small smirk crept upon his face as you fully joined him in the shower.

“You don’t know the things you do to me wearing my tags. Actually, I want you to wear them every day. That way, everyone will know you’re mine.”

———————————————————————

And he kept true to his word. Everyday, he would place those tags around your neck, making sure they fell just right on your chest. More often than not it ended up with him bending you over the bathroom counter and watching in the mirror as his tags slapped against your tits. And he made sure you always had them when he was away as well. No longer had he felt anxious or empty without them for he knew that they were always beside your heart.

So, it’s safe to say, that his favorite way of seeing his dog tags, was on you.

[absideon-ephemeral]

TO ALL THOSE WHO HAVE READ AND LIKED METANOIA, I AM IN THE PROCESS OF RE-DRAWING THE STORY BOARD AND WILL EVENTUALLY BE RE-WRITING THE ENTIRE STORY. JUST A HEADS UP. THANK YOU AND HAVE A LOVELY TIME.

[absideon-ephemeral]

Taking requests! Just be sure to read my rules before you do! Slowly getting back into writing and need some ideas.

[absideon-ephemeral]

III - INFORMANT

Warnings: mild language.

____________

This one is a bit short but worth it. 

METANOIA Master list

_________

     At that moment, I wish I didn't exist.

     The men parted ways, allowing the terrifying Commander through. His footsteps were heavy and threatening as he walked towards the General and me.

     "What's the issue General?" This was the first time I heard his modulated voice, and it was as scary as it was said to be.

     The General did little to show his disgust at being near the Commander, "This technician is working where a confidential meeting is to be held. Unfortunately, she has no other work to attend to and I don't want her just lying around being useless."

     The Commander stared at Hux for a moment then turned to me; the black holes of his mask once again boring into my soul.

     Taking a few more steps towards me, he raises his hand. I brace myself for any type of physical contact, not taking my eyes off of his helmet.

     "You are to stay and continue your work, but you are to not listen to a word said during this meeting," His modulated voice sent a chill down my spine.

     I wanted to reply, but I couldn't. My body was no longer under my control.

     "I will stay and continue my work. I will not listen to a word said during the meeting," I repeated his words against my will. It was like I could no longer control myself, and I just had to watch it all happen through my eyes.

     I turned and went back to work, lying on the floor and wedging myself back into the vent. Once again becoming oblivious to the world.

_____________

     I wasn't sure how long I had been working in the vent. My body was on autopilot the whole time. It could've been a few hours or thirty minutes when I re-emerged. The high-class men, General, and Commander were still sitting at the long meeting table, discussing something intelligible. Any word they said went through one ear and out the other.

     I got up off the ground and went to my tool bag, looking for the necessary items to begin fixing another wiring panel. As I rummaged through my bag, I got a glance at the holo map floating a few inches off the table. I froze; disobeying the hold over me. I knew exactly what that map was, but it wasn't right. I fought against the hold on my mind, eventually breaking it into millions of little pieces. Not knowing that my next words would determine my fate, I spoke.

     "That map is wrong."

     All heads turned towards me. The General's and Commander's stares were harsh.

     "Excuse me?" General Hux asked, his voice laced in venom.

     I gestured at the holo map, "That map is wrong."

     The General, who was standing by the holo controls, was ready to bash and possibly kill me for pointing something out. But before he could speak, someone else spoke.

     "Sit down General." The Commander ordered.

     "But sir, she isn't supposed to -"

     "Sit. Down. General,"

     Hux went and sat, not without a huff of frustration. The Commander bore into me.

     "How?" That was all he asked.

     "Well," I walked over to the controls, "while I have no clue as to what you all were talking about, I do know that this map is incorrect."

     The General scoffed, "How do you know if it's wrong if you don't even know what the map is?"

     "With all due respect, General, I know what this map is. It's a portion of the planet Adoni. A forested planet lush with greenery and an unlimited source of Iadrite. This is the area where one of the main cities is located. Everything on this map is accurate except for two things."

     I point to the eastern side of the city, "One, there should be a small village right where that forest is, and two," I point to the northern side of the mountain near the city, "right here should be the landing pad and entrance of an old abandoned Resistance base. It was up and running during the time of the Empire, but was abandoned shortly after the fall of the Death star."

     I pause; every person at the table is staring at me: some with indifference, surprise, and others (mainly the General) with murderous intent. Clearing my throat, I begin to type into the control panel.

     "That's how the map is wrong, sirs."

     "But that's impossible! We just received this map from the Senator of Adoni today!" The General exclaimed.

     I continued to type, "Well, the Senator, or whoever made the map, lied to you." With a few more clicks, the holo map disappears and is replaced by a similar one. "I was just able to hack into the geographical records of Adoni, speaking of which they need to up their firewalls, but this is what the map should truly look like."

     On the map, right as I said there would be, was a village to the east of the city and a landing dock to the north of the mountain.

     No one spoke. It was as if no one was breathing. They all just stared at me. The Commander, who had been extremely quiet the whole time, spoke.

     "And how do you know all this?" His voice was calm with a hint of interest.

     "I was born there sir. Lived there until I was five then went traveling and learning the galaxy with my father. If you don't believe me, sir, you can check my records."

      "How can we believe you? For all we know, your records may be a fake as well!" Hux accused.

     I was going to speak, going to defend myself, but the prickling sensation returned to my mind. The Commander. He was going through my brain again.

     "She tells the truth. Her mind shows no signs of lying." He states. Hux could do nothing but huff.

     I shift on my feet, "I'm sorry sirs, I've just realized my actions. My input wasn't needed, but whatever you are planning, I didn't want you all to walk into something and get ambushed due to false information.

     "Your insubordination will be punished, little technician. It was not your place to-" The General began but was cut off. He began to cough, clawing at his throat to breathe. He was suffocating. The Commander was now staring at him.

     After a few, agonizing seconds, the General was able to breathe again and the Commander looked to me.

     "Leave, all of you."

     Taking no chance, everyone stood up, hasty to leave. I bowed my head and too began to leave but was stopped.

     "Not you, little technician."

     I fully regret opening my mouth now, he's gonna kill me.

      "I won't kill you. Sit. We have a matter to discuss." 

     I cautiously make my way to a seat at the other end of the table, near the control panel. The seat is still warm when I sit, and the Commander's mask bores into my eyes.

     "You've shown a great deal of knowledge. Had you not pointed it out, my men would have surely walked into something. That being said, you mentioned traveling and studying the galaxy, yes?"

     "Yes sir."

     "Tell me about it."

     His words caught me off guard, "I'm sorry?"

     "Tell me about your travels." He leaned back in his chair.

     "Um, well, I lived on Adoni 'till I was five like I had said, then left and went to Ryloth. I was there for half a year, learned the language, culture, all that, then we picked up again and went to Mandalore. Then Shili, Pillo, Malastare, you name it. I studied every language, every culture, every aspect of that planet. The only planet I haven't been to is Mustafar."

     "Why not Mustafar?"

     "My father said that it was a haunted planet. Full of death and sadness. Told me that sometimes, the ghost of Padme Amidala could be heard; wailing for her husband and children, and would take revenge on any childbearing woman who stepped onto the planet."

     "Interesting. Wouldn't have taken you for someone superstitious.”

     "I'm not. My father was."

     The Commander let out something that sounded like a chuckle, but it was distorted by his helmet. "Why travel?"

     "My father wanted me to be educated on the galaxy. He hoped that one day I may become a royal translator or something. I just wanted to see the world and learn."

     The Commander took a moment to ponder. "Why did you stop?"

     "My father died when I was eighteen. We had just landed on Nevarro when he got sick. Passed a few days later. I had hardly any money, so when the recruitment ship for the first order showed up, it was my only option at the time, so I took it."

     "You could've joined the Resistance."

     "True, true. But the First Order didn't have a vendetta against me, so I went with it."

     "Interesting. What did you do?"

     I rubbed the back of my neck, "Uh, I would rather not talk about it. It's personal. But if you don't mind me asking sir, why the sudden interest in my past? What benefit can you get out of it?" 

     He hummed in acknowledgment, "Well, based on your knowledge and past, I have a proposition for you.

      "Yes, sir?"

     "Be my informant. My diplomatic ambassador. Translator. Your rank would be higher, you'd be in charge of diplomatic missions, treaties, alliances; you'd be the First Order's informant; bringing us more power through alliances and knowledge," he paused, "or you can stay a technician. Live your life fixing broken things; toiling away among metal and screws. The choice is yours."

     My thoughts are running. It's a tempting deal.

     This was what my father wanted me to be.

      But do I want this?

     "So, what will your answer be?" 

     I stayed silent. I didn't know what to say. This could all be some joke and I end up being his informant for a week and then I'm cast off to the side again. But hell, his offer sounded too good to pass up.

     "I don't have all day. What is your answer?"

     A beat of silence.

     "I'll do it."

[absideon-ephemeral]

II - Roommates, Commanders, and Generals.

A/N: And they were roommates - I'm sorry. The next chapter will be a lot more interesting as we finally get into the plot. And just as a heads up, THERE WILL BE NO SMUT AT ALL. Idk how to write it and I don't want to make a complete fool of myself if I do so. If I ever learn I may add some.

Warnings: mild language, curse words.

METANOIA Masterlist

——————————

Who knew a ship could be so damn big.

     I had walked and walked, following the map on my datapad to my quarters, which seemed to be on the other side of the ship. It was nearly midnight and I still hadn't reached it.

     During the entire walk, I couldn't get the strange encounter with Kylo Ren out of my head. Why had he just stared at me? What was that prickling sensation? My mind was going so fast, asking so many questions, that I almost ran into a wall. I had stopped myself just short a couple of inches from slamming right into it. I stood there, recollecting myself, as a quiet, minuscule beeping came from my datapad.

     Looking down, the beeping was signifying that I had reached my destination. In front of me were my quarters and not some random wall.

"For kriffs sake, finally," I muttered.

     I shut off my pad and went to reach for the control panel next to me, but I stopped myself from hitting the door button. Are my roommates already inside? What if they're already asleep? I don't want to get on their bad side, who knows how long I'll be rooming with them.

"Hey!"

     My head whips to the side to be met with a stormtrooper.

"What are you doing here?" They asked. From the sounds of it, the stormtrooper was female.

"I asked you a question."

"I'm sorry, I'm supposed to be rooming here." My words flew out fast and uneasy.

"Whose orders?" The stormtrooper asked.

"Head technician Ademir. He said that there were no available rooms in the technicians' quarters and that this was the first available spot," I explained.

     The stormtrooper made a noise of understanding and hit the door button on the panel. It slid open with a slight whoosh and was pitch black inside. The stormtrooper went in, turning the lights on in the process. I stood there, awkwardly, almost waiting for an invitation.

"Well, are you just going to stand there, or are you going to come in?" The stormtrooper said.

"Uh, yeah right." I hurriedly walked in, the door closing behind me.

     The room was semi spacious. It had two dressers, three beds, each with its small nightstand; a refresher, and a window that outlooked the galaxy.

I made my way further in and sat on the bed that looked unoccupied. I sat rather stiffly as the stormtrooper began to take off her armor.

     Her helmet came off first, revealing dark skin, that almost seemed to have a honey glow to it, brown eyes, and a pretty face.

"So what's your name little technician?" She asked. Without the helmet on, I could hear an accent that was unfamiliar to me. I gave her my name and asked for hers.

"LN-7245." She answered as she continued to undress.

"LN-72- okay, that's a lot to call you by. Do you have a nickname or something I can use?" I asked.

She momentarily stopped her movements. "No. All we ever go by is our numbers." She then resumed, sitting down on the bed to take off her shin armor.

"Well, what about," I pondered for a second, "Leonora or Leo for short." She looked up at me.

"Leonora," she tested the name on her tongue, "I like it. Sounds nice. Where'd you come up with that?"

" Your number started with LN. I just took it from there and made something out of it that sounded pretty."

"Well, thank you for that." Leonora stood up, grabbed a case from under her bed, and began to pack away her armor for tomorrow.

When she finished, she grabbed some clothes, presumably sleep ones, out of the drawer on her nightstand. Before walking away to the refresher to change, she turned to the bed farthest away from me and smacked the person, who I honestly didn't even see, that was lying in it. They awoke with a start, cursing in Durese, a language known by space travelers.

"Why would you do that? I was sleeping so nicely!" They groaned. It was another female. This one had blond hair with brown streaks, blue eyes, and a pretty face as well.

"We have a new roommate. Be nice." Leonora smacked her again with her clothes and went to the refresher to change.

The girl grumbled something then turned to me, leaning back on her elbows, her head cocked to the side.

"So, what's your name?" She asked. I gave it to her. She peered at me curiously.

"You don't look like a stormtrooper." She pointed out.

I laughed. "What gave that away?"

She looked me up and down, "You don't have the body of a stormtrooper. And the way you seem to carry yourself, I'd assume you're a technician."

"Right you are." She laughed.

"I'm ZA-7283."

"Nice to meet you. Can I give you a nickname?" I asked.

"Nickname?" She asked. Leonora walked out of the refresher, dressed in comfy, all-black, nightclothes.

"She gave me one," Leo laid down on her cot, putting hands behind her head, "I'm Leonora, Leo for short." She had an air of pride around her.

The other girl gasped. "That sounds so cool! I want one too!"

"Okay, um, how about Zariah?" I suggested.

"Ooo, I like that. Makes me sound badass!" Zariah exclaimed. Leo and I laughed at her enthusiasm.

After we all calmed down, Zariah asked me a question.

"So why did they put a technician with two stormtroopers?"

I told her the same thing I told Leo.

"Ahhh okay. Well, at least you got two roommates who aren't sticks in the mud. That would've sucked." Zariah laid back down. I nodded in agreement.

—————————

"Shit, shit, shit, shit."

     I hoped to maker that there were no higher-up officials around, because if so, I would've most likely faced punishment. I was currently running through the halls like a mad man with my jumpsuit half on and struggling to carry my small tool bag.

     I had completely forgotten to set an alarm last night, causing me to wake up 20 minutes late, which is by no means acceptable. Leo and Zari left way before me, as troopers have to get up earlier than the techs, and they didn't even bother to wake me up.

So now I had to resort to dashing my way through the metal halls, weaving in and out of other technicians and stormtroopers. As I slid around a corner, I suddenly ran straight into something. The force I hit it with was enough to send me sprawling backward onto the cold metal floor. I groaned in slight pain and made an effort to sit up. Regaining my bearings, my sight is immediately met with black boots.

My blood ran cold.

Trailing my eyes up, all I see is black. Black pants, a black shirt, a black cloak, and a black helmet.

The prickling sensation returns. This time it's sifting through my mind, weaving in and out of the crevices.

Kylo Ren.

I scramble to my feet as quickly as possible and bring my arm into a salute. Once again, the black soulless eyes of his mask stare into the very depths of me.

"Please forgive me, Commander, sir!" The wavering words flew out. He said nothing, and I feared that he would whip out his lightsaber and end me right then and there. But he simply stared for a few more moments then briskly walked away, the prickling fading with him.

I watched as he left, not dropping my salute until he disappeared completely and I could no longer hear his boots on the metal floor.

When I had deemed it safe, I dropped my arm and breathed a sigh of relief. Gathering myself together, zipping up my uniform properly, and grabbing my bag, I made my way to my task for the day.

I was assigned to fix some damage in a meeting room, presumably caused by Kylo Ren during a meeting that had gone sour.

But when I walked through the doors metal blast doors, I couldn't help but curse.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

In front of me was one of the biggest messes I have ever seen. The poor innocent wallhad been slashed many times by a burning saber, leaving deep jagged lines. They crossed and weaved in and out of one another, forming some type of chaotic artwork. No matter the strange beauty, this was going to be a pain to fix.

Setting my bag down, I went closer to inspect the damage. The wiring underneath it had been damaged severely. Some areas are worse than others, but half of the underneath panels would need to be replaced.

Looking away from the wall, I took notice of a larger bag of tools and a welding cart set off of the side; free for me to use. I walk over to the bag, open it, and grab my first piece.

——————

Four hours and counting. That's how long I've been fixing this mess. And I haven't even gotten to re-welding the slashes yet.

For the last hour, I've been working in a tight space. Literally.

To fix some of the wires in one of the deeper slashes, I had to go inside the wall. It required me to remove the vent cover, which resided right below the slash near the floor, and crawl inside; upside down. It took me several tries and having to unzip my jumpsuit halfway, revealing my black under tank, and tie the sleeves around my waist to finally weasel in. My back was flat against the air vent as I worked and I could hardly hear anything. Honestly, it was a miracle I even fit. After removing the air duct lining, I was able to finally access the wires.

Which leads me up to now. I was in the process of attaching one of my last wires, peacefully working and oblivious to the outside world, when something unexpectedly nudged my foot.

The sensation made me jolt up, my head slamming into the roof of the duct.

"Kriff!" The word escaped as pain now radiated through my head. My foot was nudged again. "One moment please!" I shouted. I began to weasel my way back out, having slight difficulty due to not being able to see much.

Once I finally got my head and arms out, I sat on the ground, blinking my eyes to adjust to the harsh lighting, having been in a dark vent for the last hour.

"Did you hear me?"

My head whipped up, and I was met with someone you hoped to never meet; the infamous, General Hux.

I stood immediately, getting a slight head rush from the fast movement, and saluted. "General Hux, sir." I addressed him.

He looked at me with distaste; not pleased to see me without my uniform on properly. But there was no going back now. He looked me up and down, a frown forming on his face. He was just like I've heard him to be. Short, red-haired, and a not-so-pleasing face that was always screwed up in a face of displeasure.

He huffed and spoke again. "Did you hear me at all?" His voice was snobby and pitched.

"No sir, I couldn't hear anything in there." I curtly replied, taking notice of the men behind him. Other Generals and officers, I had never seen, but by the way they presented themselves, they were important.

"Well, I had asked what you are doing in here. This is a restricted area to those without permission." He sneered, obviously not liking me.

"I was tasked to fix this damage, sir. Some of the wirings needed to be replaced but I could only access it through the vent, sir." I remained still, keeping my salute.

"On whose orders?"

"Head technician Ademir, sir. I have the assignment on my data-pad if you wish to see, sir."

"That won't be necessary. Do you have any other tasks to do?" He was growing frustrated at my presence.

"No sir, I don't. This is my only one due to how much work it requires." I answered. He huffed and opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the blast doors opening, and someone walking in. My view was blocked by the other men, but General Hux rolled his eyes, already knowing who had entered.

"Ah, Commander, how pleasant of you to join us."

[absideon-ephemeral]

Part 2 of METANOIA should be up this weekend! It would’ve been up by now, but half of it got deleted some how so now I have to go back and rewrite all of it.

[absideon-ephemeral]

I - New Beginnings

Welcome to the first chapter of METANOIA. I’m your author, absideon ephemeral, and I hope you enjoy your reading!

Warnings; Mild language and use of curse words.

METANOIA Masterlist

———————————

"Holy Shit."

Those were my first words once I stepped aboard the Finalizer.

The fluorescent lights shone brightly and reflected off of the polished floor. The sterile smell of bleach and cleaner stung my nose. Droids whizzed to and fro, completing their tasks and beeping at one another in passing. People of all walks of life mulled about, carrying out their mundane tasks. A squad of stormtroopers marched by and many engineers were flitting about; trying to stay out of trouble. Even though everything seemed very monotonous, it was magnificent to me.

Compared to the other star destroyer I was previously stationed at, this one was fit for royalty. The hangar itself was vast and bustling. Soldiers and engineers surrounded the floor. At least a dozen tie fighters were docked and ready for launch. If it was this amazing here, I couldn't even imagine what the rest of the ship looked like.

I fell in a dazed liked state and couldn't recall ever seeing something so grand. To others, it was just another ship; but, to me, it was like a castle.

     Before I could marvel at the sight any longer,  a woman dressed in a pristine grey uniform approached me.

      Clutching the strap of my rucksack which was haphazardly thrown over my shoulder, I carried myself to meet the woman. We stopped about two feet away from one another.

"You must be the new technician," She stated curtly.

"That I am. A pleasure to meet you." I gave her my name and held out my hand. She looked at it with mild disgust, causing me to drop it immediately. She turns sharply on her heel, muttering for me to follow her. She lead me out of the hangar and into the busy halls. Like everything else, they were black and grey with a hint of red here and there, and as always, bustling with people. I had to jog every now and then just to keep up with the woman's long, hasty strides.

"So what will I be doing exactly?" I questioned the woman.

"You will be doing anything and everything. Your former superior informed us that you are quite skilled in fixing anything from TIE fighters to mainframe wiring. Your new superior will be the head engineer, Ademir. He will show you where everything is and get you situated." She stopped once she reached the threshold of a much smaller hangar and turned to me. "I trust that you can find your way from here." And with that, she left. I watched her until she disappeared around a corner. Once she did I turned and faced the new area.

     This hangar was nowhere near as grand as the first one was. It was much smaller and has about five ships docked in total and only a handful of people were on the floor.

     I slowly made my way in, examining everything in my sight. What caught me off guard, however, was the ships. Upon closer inspection, the ships were not standard First Order TIE fighters or the silencers. None of these ships were First Order to be exact.

They were old Resistance X-wings.

"Bet you're wondering why we have Resistance ships, huh?"

Upon hearing the voice behind me, I went into panic mode and slung my rucksack off my shoulder at almost lightspeed and whipped it at whoever was behind me. My panic immediately stopped after seeing that it was just some radar technician who was now cradling his head.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry! You scared me, a-and, oh god, it was a reflex!" I stumbled over my words. "Are you okay? Do I need to find a medic? Please don't fire me." I was cut off by the person laughing, still hunched over. My face contorted into one of confusion. "Why the hell are you laughing? You just got rocked in the head?"

"I'm laughing at how nervous you are," They said. The person finally stood up. "The name's Cyrus."

I stood there for a moment taking him in. He was tall, few inches taller than me. Shaggy blond hair and a freshly shaved face. To top it all off, he had blue eyes and wore an army green jumpsuit to show that he was a radar technician.

He held out his hand. I shook it and gave him my name, picking up my rucksack and slinging it over my shoulder after. 

"You must be a newbie. Don't get many of those nowadays. I guess you're looking for Ademir?"

"Yep. I'm supposed to get my room, uniform, assignments, the whole shebang." I replied waving a hand in the air with my words.

"Luckily for you," Cyrus grabbed me by the shoulders and turned me to face the hangar, "he's right there." He points to an older looking man in a black uniform.

"Thanks, man. Probably would've had to go to everyone asking if they were him." I joked.

"No problem. I should get going. My shift starts soon! Have fun newbie!" Cyrus flashes me a smile then walks back the way he came. He only gets a few feet away before I call him.

"Cyrus! Wait!" He turns at the mention of his name. "Why does the First Order have X-wings?"

"I have no clue. I'm just a radar technician after all. See ya later!" And he walks away once again.

     I turned back to face the hangar, taking a deep breath to try to calm my nerves. With enough courage gathered, I made my way to Ademir. As I was walking, I couldn't help but marvel more at the hangar. Taking in all the sights and sounds, I didn't notice a BB - 9 droid in my path until I kicked it.

"God damn!" I bent over at the pain now radiating through my right shin. "The hell are you made of?" The droid beeps and whirrs at me angrily. "I'm sorry - I know I should've been looking at where I was going - It was an accident okay!" I went back and forth with the droid until Ademir takes notice and approaches.

"BB, leave the poor girl be. She didn't mean it," He tells the droid. The droid lets out a few more angry beeps then rolls its way out of the hangar. Ademir and I watch it leave, even staring at the spot where it disappeared around a corner as the hasty lady did. After a few moments of silence, I spoke up.

"Is...it possible...for a droid to have anger issues?"

"Very much. That droid has always been temperamental." He turns to me.

"Ademir. It's a pleasure to meet you, new recruit."

I gave him my name. "Likewise sir."

"I believe you still need a tour, yes?"

—————————

     By the time I finished my tour, it was nearly 23:00. I had been given a tour of both hangars, the one with the X-wings and the main hangar, shown where the training rooms, mess hall, supply storages were, I was given my new uniform, and everything else important to me and my job. I had also been given a brand new datapad to keep up with everything. And the part I was most excited about was receiving my quarters and bunk mate.

     That was until I was told that I'd be rooming with two stormtroopers. Every encounter I've had with the troopers so far we're not good. They treated the technicians like scum; far worse than the actual superiors did. I could clearly recall the time a trooper purposely messed up my work just so I could get yelled at.

    "I know it isn't very ideal, to be rooming with stormtroopers, but at the moment, the technicians' quarters are full." Ademir explained as we made our way back to the main hangar.

"Then why would they bring me aboard?" I asked.

"To fix Kylo Ren's messes. As well as other things. Most of our technicians aren't skilled enough to repair lightsaber damage. Not even I know how to and I've been studying this stuff for four centuries. But apparently you can fix anything. That's why they brought you here."

     For some reason, his explanation made me feel disappointed. I was brought here mainly to fix someone's temper tantrum aftermath. It was a blow to my confidence. If they think I'm so great, why assign me to do the petty stuff? I didn't let my answer convey my feelings.

"Ah okay. So I'm guessing there was only room for me with the stormtroopers?" I asked just as we walked into the main hangar.

"Correct. I'm sorry, but that's the only room available. Once a technicians room opens up you will be moved there." We stopped.

"Alright. Thank you Ademir."

"You're welcome, dear." He began to walk off, but paused. "A word of advice; slipups are not tolerated aboard the Finalizer. And others will not be as kind to you as I am. Keep that in mind." He turned back and walked away, leaving me to stand in the nearly empty hangar.

—————————

     It was quiet aboard the Finalizer when it was late. Hardly anyone was running about, save for the few technicians  trying to finish their tasks up and the storm troopers stationed guard. I quietly made through the halls, trying to not disturb anyone, as I followed the map on my data pad to my quarters. Turning right and walking even further through the halls, I soon came to face a large window. I paused.

     The vast emptiness of space was soothing to me. All the twinkling stars and planets held so much information and stories that were just waiting to be told. Just looking at it made you feel small and helpless, but it was comforting;  like a blanket being wrapped around me.

     As I stared out into the abyss, a prickling sensation formed at the back of my neck. I brushed it off, wishing to continue my gaze. But it grew stronger. Almost as if someone was trying to pry into my head and staring directly at me. I lift my hand up and rub my neck hoping to make the feeling go away. As I do so, I look around to try and find the culprit. To my right, the direction I'm supposed to go, is nothing. To my left however, is a figure cloaked in black.

     My hand stops rubbing my neck and my veins go cold. The figure is in all black. From head to toe. To their shirt, pants, boots, and cloak. And they wore a helmet that was recognizable across the galaxy.

Kylo Ren

    The most feared man in the galaxy. The one who won't hesitate to kill someone for even looking at him wrong.

     And he's staring right at me.

     His mask bore into my face. I let my arm drop, unsure of what I should do. I was frozen. No one prepared me for when I would run into the Commander. I hoped to god he couldn't hear my thoughts, cause if he could, I would be dead meat. I was going to salute, but the prickling sensation stopped and the Commander walked away.

     I stood there, astounded. Why would the Commander just stare at me? After what felt like forever, I was finally able to move and resumed my travel to my quarters. But before I made my next turn, I looked behind me, and saw nothing but a desolate hallway.

     I turned back, and went on my way.

[absideon-ephemeral]

METANOIA Masterlist

METANOIA

[meh - ta - noy - ah] • Greek

(n.) the journey of changing one's way of mind, heart, self, or way of life; spiritual conversion.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*

Kylo Ren. The Supreme Leader's apprentice. A sith. A monster. Everyone knew about him.

You. A technician who knew it all. Tasked with fixing the aftermath of Kylo's rage aboard his starship. No one knew about you.

So why does Kylo Ren suddenly take an interest in you? More importantly, why do you want him to?

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･･*

"Metanoia."

"What?"

"Metanoia. It means that you've gone through a journey to change yourself."

"And how have I changed myself?"

"You changed your mind. You finally became the person you were meant to be."

==================

☆ Introduction ☆

I - New Beginnings

II - Roommates, Commanders, and Generals.

III - Informant

[absideon-ephemeral]

METANOIA

Introduction

★METANOIA★

THE JOURNEY OF CHANGE.

—————————————————

☀︎SYNOPSIS☀︎

A know it all technician from who knows where is transferred to the finalizer from another star destroyer. Why? To help fix the aftermath of Kylo Ren's fits of rage and anything broken that crosses her path, machine of human. Kylo Ren suddenly takes interest in the technician. This sparks two questions. Why? And who will fall for who first? Every encounter will lead them closer to change. But the question is, who will fall for who first? SHE/HER PRONOUNS

—————————————————

♪PLAYLIST♪

Headstrong - Trapt

Ready, Aim, Fire - Imagine Dragons

Moral of the Story - Ashe

Warriors - Imagine Dragons

Confident - Demi Lovato

Guillotine - Jon Bellion

It Will Rain - Bruno Mars

All The Stars - Kendrick Lamar, SZA

Paradise - Bazzi

Watch Me Burn - Michele Morrone

Say Amen- Panic! At The Disco

Rock With You - Michael Jackson

First Burn - Ari Afsar

Burn The House Down - AJR

—————————————————

※CAST※

ADAM DRIVER as KYLO REN

DOMHNALL GLEESON as

GENERAL HUX

GWENDOLINE CHRISTIE as

CAPTAIN PHASMA

RUDY PANKOW as CYRUS

PATRICK STEWART as ADEMIR

LUPITA NYONG'O as

LN-7245 "LEONORA"

       FLORENCE PUGH as

ZA-7283 "ZARIAH"

[absideon-ephemeral]

Suggestion Rules/Ideas

Rules

Do not copy, translate, alter, etc, my work. It is okay to repost, AS LONG AS YOU GIVE CREDIT!!

I mainly write for female/gn readers (I’m still working on getting down the whole gn thing while writing for please don’t come for me if I get something wrong).

NO SMUT!!! I can do spicy but idk how to even write full blown smut like wut is anatomy.

No little/age regression, please no extremely heavy topics (suicide, self harm, etc.), this is meant to be a feel good feeling writing page (purely for dopamine) and I don’t want to romanticize any of it. No incest of any type!

I am okay with writing angst and death related suggestion, but I can’t bring myself to write about suicide.

I do not take specific requests, but I accept prompts and such. Anything from scenes to dialogue.

I have the right to refuse to write any suggestions/prompts.

Be patient!! I am only human and I have a life outside of tumblr!! It can take me a while to write something.

Suggestion Ideas

Colors

Moods

Words

Textures

Smells

Hearing

Scenes (ones that almost everyone knows)

Dialogue

Movies

These are just some suggestions. If you find something cool that you think would make a great prompt, the send it my way.

You can choose to remain anonymous or if you would like, you can leave your @ in the request.

Mind you, this is the first time I’m writing in tumblr so it’s all new to me!

[absideon-ephemeral]

Masterlist

Rules

Do not copy, translate, alter, etc, my work. It is okay to repost, AS LONG AS YOU GIVE CREDIT!!

I mainly write for female/gn readers (I’m still working on getting down the whole gn thing while writing for please don’t come for me if I get something wrong).

NO SMUT!!! I can do spicy but idk how to even write full blown smut like wut is anatomy.

No little/age regression, please no extremely heavy topics (suicide, self harm, etc.), this is meant to be a feel good feeling writing page (purely for dopamine) and I don’t want to romanticize any of it. No incest of any type!

I am okay with writing angst and death related suggestion, but I can’t bring myself to write about suicide.

I do not take specific requests, but I accept prompts and such. Anything from scenes to dialogue.

I have the right to refuse to write any suggestions/prompts.

Be patient!! I am only human and I have a life outside of tumblr!! It can take me a while to write something.

Refer to my Suggestion Ideas/Rules if you want to give me something to write.

Now, onto the good stuff!!

Marvel

Bucky Barnes

Dog tags - there’s something about Bucky’s dog tags that drive you both crazy (fluff, slight whump, suggestive themes)

Sky - The sky is always changing. Never the same twice. But it’s never been the same since you’ve been gone. (Angst, death, slight gore, not a happy ending)

Steve Rogers

Empty

Natasha Romanoff

Empty

Yelena Belova

Empty

Loki

Empty

Wanda Maximoff

Empty

Sam Wilson

Empty

Peter Parker

Empty

MOONKIGHT

Empty

Harry Potter

Golden Trio Era

Harry Potter

Empty

Draco Malfoy

Empty

Cedric Diggory

Empty

Fred Weasley

Empty

George Weasley

Empty

Marauders Era

Remus Lupin

Empty

Sirius Black

Empty

James Potter

Empty

Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Newt Scamander

Empty

Star Wars

Luke Skywalker

Empty

Obi-wan Kenobi

Empty

Anakin Skywalker

Empty

Ahsoka Tano

Empty

Kylo Ren

METANOIA Masterlist

Boba Fett

Empty

Din Djarin

Empty

Poe Dameron

Empty

Finn

Empty

Arcane

Jinx

Empty

Vi

Empty

Caitlyn

Empty

Viktor

Empty

Silco

Empty

Jayce

Empty

Vander

Empty

Mel

Empty

MISC. Characters

Joel miller

Empty

Cardan Greenbriar

Empty

Jack “Whiskey” Daniels

Empty

Santiago “Pope” Garcia

Empty

Frankie “Catfish” Morales

Empty