absta1n - Tumblr blog

[absta1n]

`　　　closed　　▸　　killian ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎/‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎@killiansterling　.

" oh, god. orange. " danielle's lifts the magic marker and frowns into his tattoo, yellow hue bleeding distinctly outside the lines, into the bordering red stripe. a child's activity it may be — taking the man's arm and asking whether she might color in the black and white that stretches tantalizingly over expanses of skin — but is there a simpler way of forgetting? here, now, danielle is untangling a snarl of emotions never meant to be prolonged. caged. she moves to killian's other side, abandoning the orange monstrosity and turning her focus on a fresh canvas. " what's this one? " she inquires, canting her head as she presses a finger to one tattoo in particular.

[absta1n]

`　　　closed　　▸　　any character! ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎/‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎@slavghters　.

he and his chaperone, the only witness to a blunder with less-than-sharp chisel, have co-existed in this hospital hallway for over an hour. hand wrapped in the cursory gauze given at the door, rick experimentally extends his fingers and winces, fingers retreating into a loose fist. all the while, his head remains tucked, gaze refusing to hover higher than the footfall just over his knees. " even in an apocalypse, the american healthcare system is a joke, " he says, heel falling into an anxious circadian rhythm against the linoleum floor. " i could've stitched my own damn hand up by now. "

[absta1n]

`　　　closed　　▸　　any character! ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎/‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎@heartxsighs　.

it had rained. it's still raining. and as the rainstorm steadily lured away his patrons with promises of warm bellies in warm beds, so rick had waved off his small crew. this left him behind the bar, not unprepared but plainly uninterested in the performative act of small talk. it tenses his shoulders, drawing his face into a rather unpleasant slant. still, to one who lingers, he mumbles, " celebrating something? " watches his own hand, steady but unpracticed, tilting liquid into the tall, opaque plastic cup that the cafeteria decided it could do without.

[absta1n]

`　　　CLOSED　　▸　　reuven ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎/‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎@ofherbalisms　.

lingering behind a double storm door, she's had her open palm pressed to the resilient metal for five, ten minutes, doing nothing more than anticipating. the cat. the man. and always in that order, if they should come at all. it had been only this in the beginning — a perchance noticing man and beast wandered past the short stretch of her living room window. almost always around the same dusky edge of the evening. it was a short jump from scheduled curiosity to positioning herself in the four-by-six square of wild penstemon and yarrow. a selfish waiting. tending to her garden. to the cat, the harbinger of man — reuven, the name knotted in her throat, tangled in his unexpected gentleness. so like her father.

the cat, a disheveled, mottled thing, leaps onto the red brick garden wall that frames danielle's front door on either side. she catches the anticipation in her throat and pushes through the door, to the short wall — a half-finished project, begun and abandoned by a long-dead survivor. still, the cement binder, now solid, seems to ooze from beneath the last laid brick. danielle drums her fingertips on common burnt clay, enticing the stray to ram it's head beneath her attentive hand. " hello, darling. " it purrs, a quiet hum of a reward for routine feeding and care. feeding, she supposes, does much of the heavy lifting — to that end, the seamstress unfolds a square of cloth, scraps sewn together into a patchwork, to reveal today's picnic: scraps of meat and the crumbled yellow yolk of a hard boiled egg.

it eats voraciously. she gives an exhale of a laugh, stroking its coarse fur from nape to tail. how precious this small, half-feral life had become to her. and when she finally hears the crunch of boots on gravel — " i was wondering where you'd gone off to, " danielle lifts her chin toward him, followed by her gaze finally drawn from the docile beast. her smile softens, enthusiasm tempered by the nervous comfort that so often accompanies his appearance. " it's not like him to wander this way without you. mm? " the cat has settled, the egg half devoured, purrs replaced by the gnashing of canines on muscle. danielle cautiously withdraws her hand and folds both arms over her chest, skin prickling in the evening chill. now, observing him properly, her brows knit slightly. " was it a ... difficult day? "

[absta1n]

Gemma Chan petting a cat 🐱

[absta1n]

Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)

[absta1n]

when georges bataille wrote, “no greater desire exists than a wounded person’s need for another wound” & when gillian flynn wrote, “a child weaned on poison considers harm a comfort” & when ocean vuong wrote, “sometimes being offered tenderness feels like the very proof that you’ve been ruined” & when lisa m. basile wrote, “did you inherit a sickness? did you blame god? do you believe in god? do you believe in yourself? are you still on fire? did you ever put out the fire?” & when stephen a. guirgis wrote, “why didn't you make me good enough so that you could’ve loved me?”

[absta1n]

What keeps you alive (Colin Minihan, 2018)

[absta1n]

Leigh Bardugo, from “The Too-Clever Fox,” in The Language of Thorns

[absta1n]

Mount Wilson Observatory, Film Footage, Solar Eclipse, 1930

[absta1n]

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏a written examination    of girlhood refusing womanhood, a forced hand around a willing throat, poison tempting poison, clipped wings and a honey-soaked mouth, yellow lamplight flickering on in the window / as a beacon, tearing fur from flesh from bone. inspiration is heavily drawn from olivia johnston and holly golightly + luke danes and frank mccloud. dependent characters for SURVIVORSFM, tolerated by meg ( 28 + she / her ).

𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊 ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ /‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎biography. insight. wanted. pinterest. 𝐃𝐀𝐍𝐈𝐄𝐋𝐋𝐄‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ /‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎biography. insight. wanted. pinterest.