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fyi, graves once farted during sex

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brrrrr

We’re on Air

Pairing: John Price x radio host! reader

or: Johnny and Kyle call into your radio station to help save John’s love life.

cw: swearing, fluff, bad attempt at johnnys accent

wc: 1.1k

part 1!

‘On Air’ has been flashing above you all night and yet nothing interesting. Coffee has gone cold, the blanket has fallen to wrap around your shoulders, and doodles grace your notebook. You love your job, you really do. Just some nights take it out of you.

One lady called and spent almost an hour gushing over her toxic ex-boyfriend, while another cried because the cat favors her husband.

You do quite fancy your job, you really truly do, but sometimes it’s overwhelming. You’ve felt sparks of love. Little bursts yet never that gushing feeling. The feeling where you’d absolutely do whatever you wanted for your person.

People come to you for your advice. Your hot takes on how people should act, or love. Sometimes you don’t feel quite qualified for this job.

What’s a girl doing giving love advice, but she can’t even follow her own advice?

Supernatural by Ariana Grande plays softly on the radio as you spin and spin in your chair. Slow nights like these are the absolute worst. You’ve almost gone through all the songs you wanted to play whilst still having over two more hours of the show left.

A soft sigh leaves your lips as the song ends. One more spin before—

“Hello everyone, Welcome back to Love Notes!” You immediately put on your radio voice. The sugary, soft voice that makes you seem more welcoming.

“Still waiting for any calls! Talk to me about anything. "I’m all yours for the next two hours!” An exaggerated laugh leaves your lips right as the phone rings.

“Oh hello lovely! What brings you here to my show?” You smile even though you can’t see what you assume to be a lady.

“Aye lass? Is this tha’ radio show? Love notes?” A man. That’s a man’s voice. A quite Scottish man at that.

You don’t get men on this show often. Maybe to ask for a suggestion, or advice. This man seems like he wants to have a whole conversation with you. This should be interesting.

“Love? Are you still there?” He has a friend. A British friend. “We need help.”

“Well, that’s what I’m here for! Go ahead boys, I’m always happy to help someone in love.”

You frantically flip through your notebook. Trying desperately to find a page without your doodles.

With an inhale then and exhale you say, “Ok, I’m ready. What can I help you boys with on this fine evening?” Radio voice, use your radio voice and make it seem like you’re interested.

“Yes well, it would probably help if you knew our names,” The British one introduces himself first, “My name is Kyle. The other lad here is my mate, Johnny.” Johnny does a little wolf whistle.

“Aye, lass. We ‘ave this friend . He’s been alane fer years. He needs a date. We’re sick o’ him spoilin’ our nights at the pub wi’ his singleness.” Johnny’s voice goes fast. Spilling out any and all details about his friend.

You jot down any details you can pick up from his rambling. His friend's name is John Price. John is in his mid-thirties, and he’s in the military. Those are the basic details you’re able to pick up from Johnny.

“You want me to do what now? Well, I mean…I’m sure I could do that, but I’ve never done anything like that before.” You blank for a moment. Your show isn’t a dating show, and it never will be.

People don’t come to you to find a date, they come to complain or ask for advice on love. You aren’t a matchmaker, nor are you cupid. You’re just someone who’s trying to please the people pleaser inside of you.

“Aye love, we want you to get our lad a date.” Kyle says it slower this time. Like you couldn’t comprehend their ridiculous ask in the first place.

“You open your mouth, then close it again, then open it, then close it, before saying, “It’s uh…time for a commercial break.” Never once in your two years on this show have you gotten speechless.

”Stay on the line boys, we’ll be right back!” And with that you flow out commercials for the most useless shit no one will use.

“Find their friend a date! Who do they think I am!“ You pace back and forth, and all around your little booth. A few paces and a few jumps up and down should do, or that’s what you think. Right as you go to sit down the booth door swings open.

“Oh my god girl! I can’t believe you did this!” Tina, the office manager and your best friend, storms into the room.

”What did I do..?” You stare at her. She looks ecstatic right now.

“Well this John guy! You have to get this poor man a date!” She shoves her phone in your face. “The ratings babes! They are up like crazy! I’ve had so many calls about this guy already and wanting to date him!”

The color drains from your face, You aren’t qualified for this. Is she trying to make you look like a fool on the radio? In front of 100s, well 20s, of people.

“T, I don’t know what you’re talking about. I can’t do this. I’m not—“

“John Price, from thirty to flirty!” Tina’s smile is gigantic. This is huge for the station. This could finally be what brings you guys back up.

You watch her. Study her. You know how Tina thinks. She’s going to put all her effort into this project till it succeeds. And it will. You won’t let her down. Letting her down is letting the show down, you can’t do that.

“I’ll see what I can do. I’ll talk to John and get his thoughts. I won’t let you down T. I promise.” You muster up the best smile you can before bidding her farewell.

“Don’t let me down gorgeous! I’m counting on you!” Tina spins around with a wave of her hand. Her heels click click click against the ground as she walks away. The same click click click that’s going on inside your head.

You plop back into your chair with a sigh. Radio voice, radio voice, radio voice, they can’t know you think this is ridiculous. They won’t know you think you’ll fail. The radio voice wi—

“Hello and welcome back! If you’re just now tuning in, let me catch you up! We have two lads here, Johnny and Kyle. They are trying to find a date for their friend.” You flip through the notebook.

“His name is John Price.” You smile softly. Maybe you’ll get a shot at him if this doesn’t work out.

“So boys I’m ready! Let me meet John.” You’re followed by silence.

“Boys? Johnny? Kyle? Did I lose you?”

“Ne lass you didn’t we're still here..y’see the thing is..John don’t know tha’ we called you.” Your mouth goes dry.

He doesn’t know. All this shit for a man who doesn’t even know this is happening. What could possibly go wrong.

i’m soooo proud of this it’s the biggest thing i’ve ever written

thank you to allll my friends who supported me but especially @tojisteddy i love you so much girl

tag list: @yshanavocado, @omgfangirlland , @dilf-luvr-4evr

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AAAAAA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU MADE MY DAY

@ceilidho @bitterrfruit @theorist-fox @soapysoapysoapysoapy @gloomwitchwrites/tales @gazstations @ghouljams @bunnybeaches @cod-indulgences @cod-bin @missvanta-xoxo @cupidsworstcrime + all my moots and everyone who wants to participate!!!!!!!

Tag game: make yourself as a little guy

Tagged by: @thanatos-zagreus-shagreus

Tagging: @thiamsxbitch @rhyslahey @myinnerguineapig and whoever else is up for doing it 💙

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I let my pussy make my decisions, call that clitical thinking

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eger biriyle kavga ediyorsam bir seyleri düzeltmek istiyorum demektir eger sadece susuyorsam geçmis olsun hayatinda basarilar dilerim demektir

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how y/n feels after saying the most stupid thing she could've said in an argument

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guys who shouldn't be good at sex but fuck like an absolute engine

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i heard people are leaving gaz out again? IVE PLAYED THESE GAMES BEFOREEEEEEE.

i dont give a fuck, if you leave him out of a 141 post, i WILL think you're racist. i literally wrote an entire character analysis on this man. he is NOT the boring guy you think he is.

half of the reasons i see for leaving him out make absolutely zero sense. ive been in the call of duty fandom so so so so long. I've been in the fandom since i was a little child. this is a long running issue with leaving characters of color out. if you need help writing him, literally hit me up. i am willing to help people develop a style for him.

this is my link to my character analysis. USE IT.

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⚠️ content warning: consensual somno play (previously agreed upon)

he's been away for a while now. you did know how dangerously hectic his schedule gets, you know he can't contact you when he's fighting for his life but like can someone explain that to your hormones? why are you so fucking horny at what 6am? you haven't even opened you eyes but you know it's him as the scent of gunpowder and so him fills the room. you sigh of relief feeling him kiss the back of your head. you've been sleeping on your stomach, yes it's bad for your back but the sleep hits different so a win is a win. what's better is feeling him cup your cunt. he didn't expect that your shorts would be soaked though. he knows you skip undies for comfort purposes but goddamn this is best thing to come home to. you have had the consent talk ages ago, asked him to wake you up with a different kind of stretch and now that he's back from months and months of continuous dystopia, he'll finally be home, in home. he works his zip down, too tired to even get naked, he needs you. and god knows you do too, even if you're barely conscious. although you're obscenely wet it's always a delicious struggle for him to fill you completely. he takes his time though, can't risk his darling waking up this soon. he's thumbing your cl¡t, doesn't even have to struggle to find her, he knows you and your body by default now darling. he's trying not to say fuck it and just slide completely in because he knows it burns and you'll catch him dead before he hurts you. he gently slides his tip in, biting a guttural growl at the sheer force of him trying not to come. a sound similar to a whimper rather than a groan leaves your mouth at the relief of finally feeling the stretch. this was a test for his barely there patience and once he's completely in he rests his body on top of you more tired than horny. “missed you,” he whispers into the curve of your shoulder. and with his cock still nestled deep inside you, he lets himself fall asleep, holding you like you’re the only safe thing left in the world.

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18+ only please and thank you

Roommate Soap who loves getting bullied.

Who finds himself time and time again getting roasted and teased by your friends because his face gets so red, and his cock gets so hard.

The red face is obviously fun, but every time you notice the bulge he’s failing to hide behind a couch pillow, it becomes a whole new ballgame.

“Why are you here all the time, Johnny? Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

“I think he’s hoping we’ll start making out in front of him.”

“What a little perv.”

No, he doesn’t have a girlfriend, sorry. And he’s here all the time because he’s in between deployments, and he’s not a perv.

“You’re not? Are you suuure?”

Resting in the other corner of the couch, your bare foot sneaks over to lift the side of the throw pillow when he’s not expecting it.

“Aww, look at that. Little Johnnny’s hard again.”

The chorus of delighted giggles has more blood blasting to his face, and both arms securing the stupid pillow down on his rock hard erection. He’s a soldier, damn it, not an embarrassed teenager.

“You’d be hiding in your room if you didn’t like this, wouldn’t you? It’s so funny that you’re still here.”

One of your friends plops down on the other side of him, stepping two fingers in a miniature walk up his neck. “Oh, he likes it.”

“I don’t fucking like it,” he finally gets the nerve to spit out, tingling all over with the sensation of fingers running through his hair.

“Prove it. Show us your cock.”

“That’s got nothing to do wi—“

The pillow gets yanked away and thrown across the room, so suddenly that Johnny reacts without thinking. His hand flies up to cover his throbbing erection, and with the unexpected weight of his own palm pressing against him, he accidentally moans.

“Aww, he can’t help himself. Move your hand out of the way, give us a peek.”

Once again, Johnny finds himself surrounded by a little group of your sidekicks, wandering hands sliding down his body, under his clothes. Jokes at his expense, whispers and gasps when you finally get him out of his underwear.

He feels like the most shameful little slut, cumming in the living room for everybody as usual, with your hand wrapped around his poor, aching dick, and his cum landing on your outstretched tongue.

Ahh, but he’s your little slut, isn’t he? He had to take off work to be home in time for your friends coming over. He likes it.

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I dont remember seeing something like this, but how do you think the boys would react to their crush walking in on them jacking off?

Could be headcanons or a short fic/scenario idk have fun with this or just ignore it.

:P

Anon, I'm sure you probably thought this would be something cute, sweet, and fluffy...and I went and made it smutty. Won't lie, anon, my brain saw the way forward, and it was naughty. So...have fun! I know I did!

For the masterlist and how to submit your own request, click HERE

Task Force 141 x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: masturbation, mutual masturbation, cum swallowing, oral sex, hand jobs, piv sex, creampie, swearing, dirty talk

Word Count: 1.3k

ao3 // main masterlist // imagines & what if masterlist

John Price

Price is alone, which is why he feels safe in easing the tension.

A lone lamp on the corner of his desk illuminates just enough of the small office to see by. Price is slouched in his chair, legs spread and relaxed, the front of his pants open. He fists his cock, eyelids heavy as he replays the events of the day.

You’re a sweet thing, but off-limits to him. Every smile and playful wink send blood rushing to his dick. He can’t help himself. Price is enamored with you.

And because he’s lost in your image, too focused on imagining your pussy as his hand, Price doesn’t notice when you enter his office.

It’s the inhale that gives you away. A sharp surprise that has Price’s hand stilling.

Price coughs. Clears his throat. “Sorry. I didn’t—”

“Don’t,” you murmur, hand slightly raised.

Price freezes, his brain stuttering out as you gracefully glide across the floor, coming around the side of his desk. Your gaze lingers on his face before it drops to his groin. You lick your lips, and Price nearly groans at that hungry glint.

Slowly, you sink to your knees. “Keep going,” you say in that breathy tone.

This time, Price’s muscles melt, becoming putty, answering of their own accord. Holding your gaze, he strokes himself, a tightness forming at the base of his spine. When you lean forward, and present your open mouth, Price loses all control.

A few more strokes and ropes of cum hit your extended tongue. Your eyes shine with lust. The tip of your tongue curls to lick up the few remaining drops. Price decides right then. Before you leave, he’s taking you on the desk.

John "Soap" MacTavish

Keys in the deadbolt. Shopping bags in hand. You’re home a bit early, but that’s fine. Johnny, your roommate, shouldn’t be here. But as you enter the living room, everything freezes—grinds to a halt. Johnny is completely fucking naked, and he’s—

Johnny groans your name, head tilted back to rest on the lip of the sofa, his hand around his cock stroking rapidly. You nearly trip over your own feet as you stumble to a stop. The crinkle of the grocery bags fills the room, and Johnny bolts upright, standing quickly, alert and on edge, gaze darting everyone before landing on you.

“Fuck,” he says, just as you exclaim, “Oh my God.”

Every taut muscle is on display. Sure, you’ve eyed him a few times, but you’ve always kept your distance. Been respectful. But you’re salivating over this specimen before you, gaze falling to his erect penis that juts up toward the ceiling.

“Like what you see, lass?” he coos, and your pussy immediately clenches.

Your face grows hot. “I—”

“Put those bags down. Come here,” he says in that same, sultry timbre. Johnny fists the base of his cock.

You promptly drop the bags and take a step forward, unsure of why you’re complying except that your pussy is eager that you are.

“That’s it,” he praises as you draw close. “Stop right there.” You halt, gazing down at him as he spreads himself wide for your viewing pleasure. “Take it off.” Your workout clothes you went to the store in are gone in an instant. “Sit. Spread those legs for me.”

You sink down next to him on the sofa, leaning against the armrest as you open for him.

“Fucking hell, lass. I’ve been wanting to see you like this for ages.” You preen under that praise, wanting nothing more than to please him. “Play with your clit,” he instructs.

As you swirl a finger around that sensitive bud, Johnny starts to masturbate, his gaze locked onto your pussy. “Beautiful. Fucking perfect,” he murmurs.

The two of you move together, and when you dip one finger into your pussy, Johnny’s eyelids flutter, and the moan he releases his downright feral.

With his other hand, Johnny cups his balls, squeezing them slightly as he fucks up into his hand. Another thrust, and then ropes of cum spurt onto his chiseled stomach.

Simon "Ghost" Riley

Simon pretends that it’s a mistake, that he didn’t plan for this to happen. But he’s a selfish bastard, and you’re the woman he’s been lusting after for months. He knew you’d walk in. Knew you’d join in if he remained confident and steadfast in his actions.

Now, here you are. Watching. Staring. Engrossed in the way Simon pleases himself.

“You want me, love? Because I want you,” he croons.

The sweetest thing about it is how you saunter over to him, nodding in eagerness, discarded your clothes like they burn your skin. No. Not a crush any longer. A lover. That’s what you are now, and Simon intends to keep you.

Simon continues to stroke himself, forcing you to stay on your knees—forcing you to watch as he brings himself closer to release. You lick your lips, admiring every stroke and touch, and that is enough to bring him closer.

“In my lap,” he growls, his voice throaty and gruff.

You staddle him, and then Simon is easing you down onto his cock. It won’t be long. Just a couple quick thrusts. And that is all it takes. Simon grips your hips, holding you down on him as he coats your pussy with his cum.

“That was for me,” he murmurs, lips brushing over yours. “Now it’s your turn.”

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick

Kyle is naked from the waist down, his joggers bunched around his ankles, his hand fisting his cock. You’re enthralled by the sudden surprise of finding him this way. You knocked on his door, heard a grunt, and thought that meant you should come in.

Clearly, it wasn’t. Clearly, Kyle’s grunt was one of pleasure and not an invitation.

Even standing there as you are, you believe that you haven’t been noticed, that Kyle does not detect your presence. But the smallest gasp escapes you as a pearly bead of cum blooms in the slit, and a sharp desire to lick it up emerges forth without coaxing.

Kyle’s eyes snap open, his entire body tensing as the two of you lock gazes.

“Fuck,” he mutters, sitting up, glancing around like he’s not sure what to do next. “Sorry.”

“No,” you reply. “No. It’s fine, Kyle. I intruded.” Instead of reaching for his pants, he grabs the pillow, covering himself. “Don’t stop on my account.” The words fall from your lips easily.

Kyle glances up in surprise. “You…”

“I shouldn’t have said that,” you murmur, taking a step back.

“Wait,” and his voice is a sharp command. His gaze is serious. Pointed. “Come here.”

Liquid heat swells, urging you forward, urging you on until you’re standing directly in front of him. Kyle removes the pillow and you reach out, fisting his cock.

“Can I?” you ask, and Kyle nods with a groan.

You gently fist him, pumping slowly, watching in fascination as more precum emerges from the tip. Your head dips, tongue sliding over the slit. Kyle shudders, and your pussy grows wet. As your lips suction onto the head, you forget the earlier embarrassment. Taking more each time you come down, the room fills with the wet glide of your mouth around his cock and Kyle’s moans.

You’ve dreamed about this. Dreamed about him. And clearly, he has too, because Kyle is whispering your name, raining praises onto you that makes your cunt clench with anticipation. Another good suction and Kyle explodes down your throat, coating the inside of your mouth with cum.

You lick him clean, then wipe up the remains around the corner of your mouth with your thumb.

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That kind of missionary sex where he's reaalllyyy grinding into your pussy and the pressure feels good on your clir???

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meee:33!! (as if im any good)

would any of my mutuals like to help me proofread something…please…..

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"you stay seated until everyone's finished eating" and it's price while you're sat on his face