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Knifecrow or something

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I'm still wildly amused by this scene for the reason that Thorin not only made fun of Bilbo, but also turned around to see if HIS entourage appreciated HIS fantastic joke of this village idiot grocer. Torin, you're a real bitch and a mean girl.

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bts

I found these on google...

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Every time I see this scene, I'm convinced Balin went grey not from old age, but from Thorin's antics like this

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Thorin, who grew up in a society often portrayed as brash and crude, and faced many traumatic and difficult events in his life: has never said an “undignified” word in his entire life

Bilbo, who not only grew up in the prim, proper and respectable society but was considered a gentle hobbit of them: curses like a fucking sailor

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I’m sorry but how am I supposed to not love the “Frodo is a Bagginshield baby” headcanon when info like this exists??

I’m supposed to believe Frodo with the raven black hair, slightly advanced height, and crystal blue “don’t touch my gold or I’ll kill you” eyes isn’t the son of Thorin Oakenshield?? ?

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Dwalin finding out that Thorin - his best and oldest friend, his king who he would faithfully follow anywhere - is in love with this small ugly bitchy little creature that hasn't stopped complaining since they left the shire and immediately falling to his knees in agony

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sorry i said gay when you and your buddy had a massive falling out and tried to kill each other. it just kinda looked like that.

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Idk there's something really sweet to me about fix-it writers. Like, me and you- maybe we couldnt make it this time, but in another universe, a million people saw the pain of our story and are writing us a happy ending, giving us the chance we never had

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Me, selecting filters on Ao3

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watching the Moria scene in the fellowship

Y'know what, why not start the story at the beginning. So Eru Illuvatar-

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Gandalf: So I’ve developed an elaborate plan to save middle earth from darkness

Elrond: does it-

Gandalf: it involves hobbits again yeah

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They’re so old couple coded, I honestly missed drawing them like this 😭

No clue if this has been done before but here’s the original (by frfrongg on x)

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I think part of why I can’t get into any Tolkien stuff outside of Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit is because I immediately lose interest once the gay little hobbits stop being center-stage. “The main hero is CeleFinElfidor the Bold, an immortal warrior who slew three thousand balrogs with a song” makes me go to sleep. but “his name was Blorbo Boffin and his neighbors said he was a queer creature who liked to eat strawberries” is Intriguing. Instantly you’re invested. You immediately see the vision

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So if yall didn’t know, in The Hobbit book, Thranduil had the Dwarves locked up for approximately weeks, and Bilbo was just invisible and wandering in the palace the entire time, vibing miserably.

My headcanon, therefore, is that the Mirkwood Elves now have a local legend about a ghost haunting Thranduil’s palace, never seen but generally thought to be harmless. Thranduil scoffs at the idea, but has been seen glancing around at the dark corners of rooms. Legolas fully believes in it and is known to say hello out loud when he enters an empty room, in case the ghost is nearby.

It’s not until Legolas joins the Fellowship that he figures out that the supposed ghost was actually an invisible Bilbo the whole time. He never tells Thranduil, because he thinks it’s funny to see his regal father unnerved by the idea of a ghost.

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Any queer man in fiction can’t have a healthy relationship. All they know is pining, divorce, cause the apocalypse, wear silly costume, fight they homo boyfriend, trauma, be disastrous, eat hot chip & lie.