abyssmalice

[abyssmalice]

PSA: Stay out of RP tags for a while.

For the uniformed, over the previous week there have been sock accounts that have indeed been posting shock images of irl gore of a variety of subjects in the tags. Even if that doesn't make you personally squeamish, the clear intent is to expose people to it to potentially trigger / traumatize them. The tags they're spamming with these images range from 'oc rp' to outright '(fandom) rp'. While other blogs have been informing people of these accounts to block, and thankfully tumblr staff appears to be taking the blogs down within a 24 hour timespan, the fact that as of writing this person (or a copycat) is on their third blog and probably won't stop. And if they do, it might just be for a short period of time to get people's guards down. The best way to avoid this is, for the time being, stop browsing rp tags for a while and try to stick with the dashboard. On top of that, while I imagine it is tempting to commentate on these situations, outside of telling people the new URL to block, simply try to continue to use your blog as normal. Don't feed the troll, especially when this is a blatant case of using 'shock images' to elicit a reaction out of a niche community. The 'person' will get bored or realize that their blogs will continue to get banned eventually. PS. If you're concerned that you may get stuff sent directly to you, remind yourself of tumblr's safety features and how if a non-mutual tries to send you an image, it will be blurred out. You are safe as long as you stay out of the tags and avoid the 'for you' page (I'd recommend blacklisting popular rp tags if you feel exceptionally antsy about this situation).

[abyssmalice]

Send me ‘Would you rather’ + Two Situations for my muse to pick between the two and deal with the consequences of what they’ve chosen!

[abyssmalice]

for snowtombed !!!

Send ❓and my muse will answer all questions honestly. // @snowtombedstar

Does my muse trust yours?   

"I can trust her with basic stuff, I guess. Like clothes and bakery recommendations, probably. But if I haven't told her my deepest secrets, then clearly, I don't trust her that much in the end."

Does my muse dislike yours?

"Not really. I mean, I'm kind of just. Whatever about her, right now? Like I don't hate her or anything, but at the end of the day, I'm not super duper attached to her - she's not married into the family! Yet! I don't have any real obligations until then!"

Would my muse kill someone for yours?

"Depends on the person and what I get in return for it. Though if I'm willing to take someone out for anyone in the first place - then I'm usually not picky or anything. Some people just have to go, as much as I hate to say it. And I don't mind getting rid of them in that case."

Would my muse kill your muse?

"If she pisses me off super majorly by doing something super, incredibly bad to me. Yes."

Would my muse save yours? 

"Uh, duh? Unless I can't. Or she's in the way. Though she better not be in the way, because that just means even bigger questions of why she's in my way. Which can still happen, honestly - people can just randomly end up wherever in life, after all. Including on the other end of the sword."

Is my muse disgusted by yours? 

"About what even?"

Would my muse betray yours?   

"I don't have a reason to, so why would I?"

My muse’s favorite thing about yours is ____

"She's honest. In the most simplest, clearest way possible. Considering all the bullshit and vague politics and diplomacy I have to deal with in my work, it's definitely a plus point for her."

The thing my muse dislikes about yours is_____

"Her family sucks. I still say I should set their house on fire."

[abyssmalice]

I understand the "I will die for you" ship dynamic, but what about the "I will not let you die, I will not let myself die- we will, at any cost, survive" kind of couple?

[abyssmalice]

"Oh, that is a possibility." You hum thoughtfully under your heavy hood, adjusting the basket of flowers hanging from an arm. "But on the other hand, the trees can still hear many things. Even the most silent of thoughts locked in your mind. For all they need to do is watch, and listen, and record."

The guise of a nameless, faceless florist is an easy one to slip into - vague and forgettable, just as Teyvat demands to avoid unnecessary conflict. Though it's an act that doesn't hold forever against the world's order, you are only here for an idle chat. It should be enough for that.

"Entertain the thought, Miss Traveler. Perhaps the trees noticed your musings of late. Has there been anything on your mind these days? Though the trees cannot intervene in the least, they can always lend a kind ear."

@abyssmalice - (freyja to lumine!) "the trees seem sad... have you been speaking with them?" \ ✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐁𝐈𝐓 𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐄

( 🌙 )    IT WAS AN odd thing to ask ( let alone ACCUSE her of ) which left the star to pause for a moment then turn her head to look at who now accompanied her. unsure just who she was actually now talking to .. despite the odd feeling that came with her she slowly shook her head.

   ❝   NOT THAT I'M aware of ? i've .. slept under them the past few nights and under the stars but .. i'm unaware of TALKING in my sleep. might have been someone else that made them sad ?    ❞

[abyssmalice]

"A bake-off?" That instantly gets Tonia's interest - and approval. There's a loud clink as the teacup gets immediately sets down onto the saucer, wide dull eyes now fixating on her teatime guest.

"What kind of cakes were there? Big cakes? Fruit cakes? Iced cakes? Tell me all the cakes you saw! Did you taste any? Do you have any samples with you? You did save a few slices to take afterwards, right? I want to try the cakes!" Every question and word practically gets the girl slowly inching closer, near-hovering over the table by the last one.

A pause follows, as Tonia stares expectantly for a few moments, before sitting back down. She sips from her cup quietly, blinking as she realizes something.

"If you don't have any of the cakes right now though - you should make me one. Right now. I'll pay, obviously."

@abyssmalice - (tonitoni to lumine!!) "—all this talk about blood and slaying and whatever has put me off my tea and cookies." a pause. "don't you do anything cooler besides killing things and saving nations from higher powers in your spare time? like, i don't know - make cool cakes? you seen any of those lately?" \ unprompted ask.

( 🌙 )   SCRUNCHING HER NOSE the outlander huffs , partly annoyed that she's being called out to such degree --- it wasn't her fault that this world continued to be so damned content on ruining itself when all she wanted was to grab her brother by the arm and leave. well .. it kind of is on her for the amount of help that she gives out when asked.

DESPITE TAKING A moment to think about it she pauses , a small smirk hinting her lips from how proud she was of herself.  ❝ I HELPED IN a bake off in fontaine -- does that count ?   ❞ someone did die though. not because of her or by her hand though so .. it should count , right ?

[abyssmalice]

hey psa that gore blog is back at @/fackcarerpc. block from settings if you have to.

[abyssmalice]

(Alice's vision being absolutely nothing like anyone else's at all is like. oh yeah. mhy said I can just design tonitoni to look whatever I want. I gave her world bending lore I can give her a lore bending design too!!!!!!!)

[abyssmalice]

(was anyone gonna tell me that h.sr tonitoni already exists in a jade lightcone or was i supposed to just randomly stumble across this by pure chance /j)

[abyssmalice]

Tonia happily monches on a random cake that got delivered today. She wasn't expecting a cake, but the address and recipient was all correct, so clearly, the cake was meant to be here. So even if there's no further indication of who or why - either way, cake!

And luckily enough, it's a lemon-orange sorbert cake too. Perfect for the season and these sunny days. Though the orange coloring is a bit too orange, almost bordering on carrot-colored, but. Whatever! Cake!!

[abyssmalice]

Send ❓  and my muse will answer all questions honestly.    

Does my muse trust yours?   

Does my muse dislike yours?

Would my muse kill someone for yours?

Would my muse kill your muse?

Would my muse save yours? 

Does my muse find your muse attractive? 

Is my muse disgusted by yours? 

would my muse go on a date with your muse?  

would my muse kiss yours?  

would my muse betray yours?   

my muse’s favorite thing about yours is ____

the thing my muse dislikes about yours is_____

[abyssmalice]

Tonia so often blames and hates on other people when unexpected and terrible things happen - but that doesn't mean she doesn't recognize her own part in these events, should there be any.

In fact, she heavily focuses on her presence and decisions—or lack thereof—in such moments, and can very much end up in a state of deep, quiet self-loathing.

However, while she can spend a long time wallowing in those feelings, she is often not in an environment that actually allows her to just curl up in a ball and not do anything out of her sheer misery. She is usually in the middle of other things, conversations, tasks, etc. - so she can't just drop everything and abruptly do nothing.

But the feelings she has still need to be dealt with to some extent - as someone who naturally feels rather strongly (assuming she isn't in the middle of consciously suppressing them), her misery often feels like an inexplicably chaotic, tangled mess of thunder and rain and horror and suffocation and so, so many terrible things that at the very least, it's going to be a distraction to leave it to be.

So, she deals with it. In either two ways:

Shoving it aside so deep down that she can almost pretend it feels like nothing, then acts like there is nothing, and further resolves to never think or feel like that ever again; having such violent feelings was just a slip-up, it won't happen again (hopefully).

Venting it out at whatever and wherever, to the first and every last thing she sees, until the feelings subside. Who cares if that causes more problems because she's not thinking clearly? That's her brand of behavior anyway!!

The latter is a little more interesting because often after she's done lashing out (or even while in the midst of it), she tends to feel a surge of discomfort from her moral compass quickly catching up to her and basically replaying an entire montage of every single faux pas she did in the process.

Which just increases her self-loathing even more, which requires her to vent it out again, and thus creating the extremely toxic feedback loop of Tonia being absolutely miserable with herself and everyone around her.

[abyssmalice]

(you know if you think about it, honkie tonitoni is even more hecked up with her feelings of survivor's guilt bc at this point, she's not only out-survived her brother, but she's now out-survived her Entire Family And Every Single Person She's Ever Known In The History Of Ever.

it was already bad enough for her when it was just her brother. now include everyone else........... lol. lmao. lol.)

[abyssmalice]

(soon.................. that search message WILL be REAL!!!!!!!!!!)

[abyssmalice]

@poswiecenia / (when orpheus looked back, did eurydice know resentment?)

Tonia doesn't know why she asked that question, to be honest.

It's not like it would change anything - her past is immutable and the answer is rarely anything shocking. There's no significance, meaning or impact to asking. She shouldn't have said anything.

(In a day, it will be Ajax's birthday. In a week, it will be the anniversary of his death.

To the very end, he had been labelled a missing person. Her family dug an empty grave for him eventually, but even then, they never changed his official status in the town records. And so, when Teyvat burned into cinders and melted into nothing and everyone died in the wake of another finality - even then. Just a missing person.

Someone who should be there, but wasn't. The absence was never accepted and now never will be. There's no one to do that except her.)

"...I see." Tonia replies, at some point. It's a quiet thing, filled with some thin, trembling emotion - yet at the same time, unreadable as to sound like an empty note. Her casual expression has already shut down into something flat and unamused—did so within the first sentence of Katzizi's response, really.

A part of her was already expecting to hear this kind of answer. Because it's the only sensible thing to say. Between the sole options of trying to save someone or watching them suffer - who would allow the latter? Even if anyone answered the other choice, Tonia wouldn't have that high of an appealing opinion on the person's character as a result.

The only answer is the good answer. The only answer is that both choices have their horrendous consequences. The only answer is that this shouldn't have happened, it shouldn't have had to happen.

But life does not permit such grace. Things will happen anyway. Joy and calamity are gifts of the most capricious whim. You can only make do with what you get in the moment.

So it doesn't matter what you want. It doesn't.

Tonia doesn't know why she keeps asking this question regardless.

"If I were my brother then—yeah. Probably. I probably wouldn't hesitate to do the same thing as him." No longer bothering with the thin pretense of a story about someone else, the girl sighs as she turns to look up at the ceiling, staring straight at one of the overhead lights. "I know my brother loved me, and that's why he did what he did. And I loved my brother too, that I'd do the same thing, hoping for the same and more.

"But—" She moves from her slumped over position, sitting up into something a little straighter, almost prim and proper as she lays her hands on her lap. "Still. Still. Even if it's right, even if it's the only good thing to do - I don't care. I don't care. It hurt. Being told to run. Being told to leave him behind. Even though it was the only thing to do. To me, that wasn't right, that was just— it was just— it hurt!

"I screamed at him. I got so angry—I'm still angry at him. Even back then, I knew what he was telling me to do, and I didn't want to! If that thing didn't kill him first, maybe I would have instead with the way he was acting!"

A long, sharp intake of breath. It hisses between her lips with simmering fury, just at the point of boiling over - but old habits never want to die, and Tonia just breathes, clenching and unclenching her hands once, seeming to recompose herself back into something more tranquil within moments.

The anger is still there, always there, will never leave her, not so soon. She's just got plenty of practice at stuffing it all down and putting on the veneer of otherwise. How else could she have executed her duties as a Harbinger back then?

"...I hate him," she eventually says, simply, plainly. Her gaze is equally blank. "I hate him for what he's done. What he decided to do. Everything. And I hate how I understand it anyway. He had no choice. That was the only thing he could possibly do. Even I would do the same, and I hate that I would."

A small sigh. "As if I wasn't already a bad person anyway."

With that, Tonia rises, craning her neck around a bit to loosen the muscles, before heading for the door with a rather absent wave, not even looking in the other woman's direction.

[abyssmalice]

“Penguins push friends and family first to check for danger in the water - absolutely no sense of loyalty. I can imagine you doing something similar.” Perhaps it wasn’t the best fact to give when they were walking so close to the pier…

The fun fact comes so suddenly, that Tonia has to actually stop walking just to process it. She just stands where she is for a few, drawn-out seconds of puzzled blinking, her gaze drifting far off into some numerical and logic-processing distance...

"Oh. Yeah, that sounds about right. I definitely would for sure." Nodding in satisfaction to herself, the girl quickly catches up to Yanfei from where she lagged behind, continuing the walk as normal.

And two steps after, Tonia grabs Yanfei by the arm and jumps straight into the ocean with her.

Would she push in friends and family first to test the waters? Not improbable, yes. Will she allow this to be a predictable prediction? Absolutely not. If someone is going to randomly assume that Tonia will do something - well. She'll make sure to defy expectations even then.

[abyssmalice]

("why is tonitoni asking such depresso questions in her honkie verse all of a sudden anyway"

the fun surprise ajax birthday date and canonical implication that he set out to do his little misadventure and inevitable fall into the abyss just a short while after (which would mean tonitoni's life going to hell starting from around the same time): )