abyssmalice

[abyssmalice]

[ @kushtibokt ]

Name: Aventurine of Stratagems(tm)

Age: 27

Your Most Favorite Sibling: Katzizi

Your Least Favorite Sibling: I don't have any more siblings

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No / Depends

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No / Who

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss: Sounds like a bad gamble so no thank you

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa: No comment

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit. Generally speaking, I would rather sacrifice a nameless face for the sake of multiple people. So long as it IS a nameless face, of course.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so: Erm, you're not even my sister at all, so.

Apply to be a new COO/Big Brother/Sibling at ToniToni LLP / Always Accepting! - @kushtibokt

For a good two minutes, Tonia just holds her head in her hands after reading this new application.

What was the point. This was a pointless application. He wasn't even trying to get the position. A lack of sincere seriousness to her new partner-in-crime and sibling figure is a big problem, considering the situation here! Also, he didn't say 'yes' to giving her candy or money. Even though he's loaded!!

"...Wait, is he actually loaded? Would he really change jobs if he has a ton of money?" The girl stares hard at the form. "...Is he poor now? And his application sucks because he has no proper job searching experience?"

Hm. On second review... Well, it's still a lackluster application. But not all his answers suck. Some are neutral by no fault of his own - he wouldn't know anything about people like the Tsaritsa or Dottore - but, he does give a very reasonable response to the morality question.

It's still a little too cautious and callous for her taste - she would have preferred a sentiment of no one dying really, over any willingness to sacrifice someone for whatever reason; but this was a hard situation that wouldn't allow it, so if it has to happen, then one over a million is certainly a preferable line of thought. And a random nobody is better than a known face, though that's just a selfish comfort; everyone will always mean something to someone else. No one will ever truly be a nameless whoever.

"Hmmm." Tonia taps the paper with a pen for a few seconds, before circling the applicant's name and setting it in the pile of applications heading for the next round. It's not the best, but it's not the worst. She's actually quite keen on seeing how he'll perform in his interviews later.

[abyssmalice]

(having fun discork thonks and anyway, this is something i dont think ive really talked about in detail about tonitoni - but it is Absolutely a vital factor about her ww

like from the way she behaves - i.e. constantly pissing people off, stamping on people's toes, purposefully picking arguments and tantrums, generally acting very upset and annoyed and mad to the point of tantrums with Everyone - you'd think she has an infinite sort of patience to be angry and to hold grudges against someone. which isn't completely false—she can hold things against people for a long time.

but those emotions still bear an uncomfortable weight for her. they tire her out the longer she holds them, even if she can and does try to hold onto them indefinitely.

this is because at the very core of her person, Tonia is a kind, nice person.

her first instinct (which is undoubtedly blunted by her experiences, life lessons, and commonplace need to put on a facade - but this is still how she's naturally preconditioned to be) is to be caring and morally-upright. so concepts like the golden and silver rules ("treat others as you yourself would like to be treated" and "don't do unto others what you wouldn't wish for yourself") and the general idea of being empathetic and considerate of other viewpoints are like, the primary foundation of how she thinks and acts in regards to other people.

which makes things like being pissed at others or holding grudges, while possible, somewhat difficult for her - like, these things just naturally don't mesh with her core nature. a genuine incompatibility.

it tires her out after a long-enough while, and she will eventually just drop the sentiment altogether with enough time, quiet, and processing. even in the instances where she can't quite let go of those feelings (see: Dottore(TM)), she will still end up feeling exhausted enough that it's more she's just resigned and forcibly compartmentalizes/ignores/shoves the whole thing to the side and tries not to dwell on it, simply.

—of course, a "long-enough while" and "enough time and contemplation" are relative here. it can still take a good couple of years for her to reach this sort of point. but even then, compared to say, someone who lives a literal entire lifetime out of revenge or the like, Tonia is more likely to "give up" with just a fraction of those years comparatively. give or take five to ten, probably.)

[abyssmalice]

(YUKARI TAMURA???? MISS ETERNALLY 17?????????? holy shit im Cooked)

[abyssmalice]

// hsr 3.5 spoilers

(me ignoring the selena parallels aside - hysilens truly is waking up the tonitoni braincell bc she's just like. looking at her and being like "wow first time? also we should be besties"

udguysdgyusdguyds hysilens being a pure hearted girl whose expectations for her service got dashed by the violent conquests of the ruler she pledged herself to, and even getting to the point of trying to kill said ruler herself (in other cycles)................ oughghgh tonitoni gets that so much. also she almost fell to nihility!!!!!!!!!! like!! i already hc that tonitoni lowkey Could be nihility-associated at times so im wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

they should be Besties. tonitoni needs a Cooler, Better Whale Sibling)

[abyssmalice]

"This Hissy... Hissy Siren... Hsiylen— Whatever! Whatever her name is, she reminds me of big brother... except if big brother was a big sister, more elegant, pretty, cooler, better, and also has a better head on her shoulders compared to the idiot loyal buffoon that my actual brother is. Also better and prettier and cooler. My big brother is super ugly after all."

[abyssmalice]

Name: Yanfei

Age: Let’s go with… 25

Your Most Favorite Sibling: I’m an only child ^^

Your Least Favorite Sibling: Please refer to the statement above

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No / Maybe on special occasions 

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No / Who?

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss: I had one encounter with the Abyss Order and I’d like to avoid any future engagements. 

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa: I have no strong feelings towards the Tsaritsa and I will not provide any statements regarding her as to remain a neutral party. I yield my time.

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit. I won’t bore you with a bunch of legal jargon but I wouldn’t press the button. You won’t get charged with anything if you don’t intervene (since one can’t be punished for not acting) but you’ll likely be looking at a murder charge for pressing it. Sorry Tonia, the legal system doesn’t leave much space for moral dilemmas.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so: If approved, you’d certainly be crowned the ‘Bestest Little Sister Ever’ seeing as you have no competition. This would also make you my favorite (and least favorite) sibling by default :)

Apply to be a new COO/Big Brother/Sibling at ToniToni LLP / Always Accepting!

"...This is the most boring application I've ever seen..."

'Boring', but perhaps a better word is that it's lame. Dull. Uninteresting. Unappealing. Boring.

Some of it is unfortunate but acceptable—not having opinions on the Tsaritsa or even having siblings to comment on as an only child—but the rest of it is just lame! Tonia put in that moral dilemma to test the character of her new sibling/COO, and while the question wasn't avoided, the reasoning was utterly appalling. Not doing something just to avoid a murder charge? Are you kidding her??

Ugh, law-people.

Also, saying Tonia would be the best and least liked sibling if she accepts this prospective hire... Was this application actually even trying to get hired as her sibling?

She's tempted to toss it aside, but. Her only other application right now is Ayaks. Who she really doesn't want to (re)hire. Because that's nepotism, and nepotism is bad. For lack of better options—Tonia can only sigh and also put Yanfei in the waitlist for potential interviews in the next round.

[abyssmalice]

Hopefully, Tonia didn't expect him NOT to submit one of these.

Name: Ayaks

Age: 26

Your Most Favorite Sibling: Well, I adore Tonia, Teucer and Anthon, equally!

Your Least Favorite Sibling: You know who

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No / Depends

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss: It's a pretty cool place to train, I hope I can go back sometime x100

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa: She's a pretty cool leader and warrior x100

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit. Well, I have Foul Legacy so I bypass the no-magic-powers rule and stop the airship from falling.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so: I have a lot to say about you as my bestest little sister ever but I'm pretty sure you already hear it on the daily, right Niashka? In any case, I would like to keep my position as your bestest big brother ever too, if that's possible. I have over twenty years of experience in the task of brothering, credentials and also a preference discount on the local bakery from buying you sweets all the time. I think I'm adequate enough.

Apply to be a new COO/Big Brother/Sibling at ToniToni LLP / Always Accepting!

"..."

The more she reads this application, the more she wants to toss it out, if not burn it a little. Some of these answers were not ideal. Some of these answers clearly bypassed the very format and rules of the application itself! What part about answering exactly as the questions state - and not some whole other thing! - didn't make sense to him?

And yet. She can't deny it. He does have two whole decades of big brother experience. And the bakery discount. The discount.

"........................................"

She shortlists him for the next interview. Just in case.

[abyssmalice]

(why is EVERYONE jumpscaring me in this collab story lmao)

(VILLIER JUMPSCARE)

[abyssmalice]

Tonia sits at a little table, quaint and formally dressed, her hands steepled next to a small hourglass. On the side of the table, a plain banner reads in her (chicken scratch mess of a) handwriting:

INTERVIEWS OPEN!! apply to be my new big brother NOW

For those interested in applying, a neat stack of application forms sit on a chair next to her.

Name:

Age:

Your Most Favorite Sibling:

Your Least Favorite Sibling:

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss:

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa:

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so:

[abyssmalice]

[abyssmalice]

tagged by: @poswiecenia tagging: YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Eito Aotsuki (Hundred Line Defense Academy)

Kokichi Ouma (NDRV3)

Hermes/Fandaniel (FFXIV)

Roland (PGR)

Lee (PGR)

Noan (PGR)

Noah (Elsword)

Laby (Elsword)

Childe (GenPact)

[abyssmalice]

(me doing the poggers face at work bc TONITONI FIT?T?T?T?T?T???? TONITONI FIT?????????????????????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

[abyssmalice]

(tonitoni invented the trolley problem just for a stupid joke application bc her entire life is a trolley problem to her heehaw /j)

[abyssmalice]

Tonia sits at a little table, quaint and formally dressed, her hands steepled next to a small hourglass. On the side of the table, a plain banner reads in her (chicken scratch mess of a) handwriting:

INTERVIEWS OPEN!! apply to be my new big brother NOW

For those interested in applying, a neat stack of application forms sit on a chair next to her.

Name:

Age:

Your Most Favorite Sibling:

Your Least Favorite Sibling:

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss:

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa:

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so:

[abyssmalice]

Tonia sits at a little table, quaint and formally dressed, her hands steepled next to a small hourglass. On the side of the table, a plain banner reads in her (chicken scratch mess of a) handwriting:

INTERVIEWS OPEN!! apply to be my new big brother NOW

For those interested in applying, a neat stack of application forms sit on a chair next to her.

Name:

Age:

Your Most Favorite Sibling:

Your Least Favorite Sibling:

Do you like sweets: Yes / No / Maybe / Depends

Will you give me lots of money for free: Yes / No

Do you like Dottore: Yes / No

Do you like fighting: Yes / No

Write a 100-word opinion on the Abyss:

Write a 100-word opinion on the Tsaritsa:

Imagine a Fontaine airship is going to fall and crash onto a bunch of people. You have a button that can make the ship steer a little bit to the left, where it will land on only one person. You can't do anything about the ship or the people and no magical miracles or superpowers will happen. Someone is guaranteed to die no matter what. Please provide your opinion on what you would do in this situation, with justification. No word limit.

Explain why I'm your bestest little sister ever, and if applicable, why I'm not your most favorite sibling if not named so:

[abyssmalice]

[abyssmalice]

"Who the heck is this Dan Heng guy, and why does he look like a more green Zhongli?"