acaciasystem

[acaciasystem]

i am a normal guy with no problems at all

[acaciasystem]

can i split an alter who's super interested in climate change so i can get this stupid essay done

[acaciasystem]

help me they are putting my cats in situations

[acaciasystem]

horror is always like oh no they're possessed by a demon well what about possessed by an angel? angelic possession is also horror.

[acaciasystem]

just talkin a bit

so things have been different in our system for the last few months. way less communication, more identity blurring/confusion, more dissociation, and more forgetfulness.

i would say it hardly feels like we're switching at all, but the thing is, i can feel the switches happening and when i'm not fully in front, but it hardly ever feels like a shift in identity, not strong enough to be significant. and i don't feel like i have any sort of concrete identity, personality, traits, or anything.

the most confusing part of it so far is that the only other alter in the system who i am sure has fronted is someone i don't know, and they seem to have no idea they're in a system and they don't have consistent communication with the rest of us. they're not in denial about being in a system, they just can't really see any of the signs, like there's a wall between us and them. i don't really know what to do about this or why it's happening.

on one hand i'm glad to know our system is still functioning and that i can probably make some sort of progress or recovery in our system, but I don't know how to go about that in this case. it feels like i'm in the position the others were in, like watching a host try and figure out what's wrong without being able to tell them.

[acaciasystem]

we can be having a normal day then boom out of nowhere our brain will be like "i will split another minecraft roleplay character right fucking now don't you fucking test me" and we gotta be like. Okay. got it

[acaciasystem]

idk if there's anyone who still supports dream following me but just in case there is: this is your reminder that i hate that guy and i also do not like you. leave.

[acaciasystem]

for me, being plural feels like so much more than “sharing a body.” its sharing a life.

this isn’t a hot take or anything, it’s just my own personal experience. we live in the same room, we strive towards the same goals, we maintain the same relationships, we look after each other so our lives, collectively and individually, are as happy as can be.

saying we merely share a body feels like if you lived with a partner (or similar close relationship) and referred to it as only “living together,” rather than having a long-term life that you share together. it almost feels like downplaying the impact of our system in the external world.

that’s entirely how i feel though, im speaking as a small system w/ managed/treated DID without one particular “host.” i don’t think feeling different is wrong or anything. in fact, im interested to hear why other systems favour the words “sharing a body” over “sharing a life!” i love hearing other people’s experiences, different and similar to mine.

plurality is such a vast spectrum of experience, disordered or otherwise. the brain is a damn funky little thing, i love it

- 🥀

[acaciasystem]

where is one of our essay writing experts to save me in my time of need. andy once wrote a whole 8 page paper in one day where is he now huh

[acaciasystem]

pfffft do you ever have that one system member who you think "oh so we're that fucked" when they show back up

[acaciasystem]

Ya know when people told me "when you're finally safe enough that you can leave survival mode and start to let go of and process your c-ptsd/trauma things are probably going to get really, really bad before they slowly start to get better" I thought that was reasonable. I did not understand that by "things are going to get bad" they meant "you're going to find yourself in the worst mental state of your entire life, but dw, that means it's working" and tbh I simply wish someone had been more clear.

[acaciasystem]

[acaciasystem]

i love how we have 8 introjects in total and 3 of them are ranboos. peace and love on planet gay

[acaciasystem]

oh i don't think we posted our updated simply plural, it's @/tricktack if any mutuals want to add us! :))

[acaciasystem]

The text reads,

“YOU WERE FRANTIC AND FOOLISH, YOU KEPT NO TRACK OF TIME, YOU RAN YOUR DELICATE BODY INTO ITS NATURAL END, YOU BURNED ALL YOUR CANDLES TO STUMPS, YOU ARE TIRED AND HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO LAY DOWN, YOU HAVE EARNED THIS REPERCUSSION, THIS REWARD, THIS RECKONING, YOU FINALLY  NEED TO KNOW

HOW TO DECAY GRACEFULLY

LIE STILL (x13) ”

[acaciasystem]

feels like i am playing five nights at freddy's in my own home fr

[acaciasystem]

being frontstuck is so sad where are my silly guys