acehcouncil - Tumblr blog

[acehcouncil]

Finale

Well, GAM has gotten its way. After several days dealing with the Tsunami (or not), and worrying about the future of Aceh, it appears that this will be left in the hands of GAM (and their incarcerated president). Cholera outbreaks, entire armies wiped out, what more devastation will Aceh face?

Sharia law is implemented and the press has been killed/arrested/expelled. Aceh is closed off to most of the world. Following the path of East Timor, Aceh is now applying to the UN.

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Kidnapping

By the combined effort of the whole of IRNA, Tarmizi has been kidnapped and kept in the HQ of IRNA.

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Couples >:(

Teuku Ali and Hermanto Hasan have apparently been husband and husband since 1.46pm

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UN???

Attempting to be a fully independent state, Aceh sends Husaini Husain as their diplomat to the UN. Will the UN accept?

Shariah law is now declared. We warn certain homosexual couples in this committee (looking at you Teuku Ali and Hermanto Hasan) to break up or be flogged soon.

The TNA have expelled all TNI forces in Aceh and are supporting West Papuan indepence too

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di tiro

justice has been served. he is now in prison. hooray!

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Lockdown

The Mayor of Central Aceh has announced a curfew, but with no window of time during which they are allowed to venture outside their homes. Perhaps there's another name for such a curfew. Hm.

He assures all citizens that supplies will be issued to each household at 12pm. These "supplies" include bags of soil, and what seems to be 5ml bottles of "Cholera Antidote", the stock value of which tanked following the exposing of Djoko Kirmanto's business venture.

Meanwhile, the large majority of Acehnese in evacuation camps, displaced and homeless, sweat nervously.

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Di Tiro is a murderer

Wow. He has ordered the 10,000 men under his command to publicly execute the Global Times newspaper's journalist. Brutal and shocking indeed.

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Press Autonomy

Press Delegates have been granted emergency powers by UNESCO, and now have speaking rights in the Joint Emergency Council.

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Ministry for People’s Welfare, kills 99.9% of germs

Under the onslaught of a tsunami, a cholera outbreak and a civil war that stretches long into Aceh’s history, Aceh’s citizens have remained fearful and immobilised, huddled in evacuation camps all over the region. These camps are a confusing amalgamation of efforts by various rebel movements, NGOs, and the Indonesian central government alike, with varying degrees of success in providing for and protecting civillians. 

A ray of hope, however, has shone upon the haggard Acehnese, under the unifying command of the Coordinating Minister for People’s Welfare. On orders of Alwi Shihab, sanitation points have been set up at each evacuation camp, and supplies of clean water have been prioritised for hand washing purposes, along with that of soap. A team of 20 plumbing and sewage experts have been put together, and they have begun the process of analysing water samples from the destroyed sewage systems, in an effort to rebuild from the destruction of the tsunami. 

Time, unfortunately, is not on their side. It is only a matter of time before clean water supplies run out, and it remains to be seen whether a protocol for a complete reformation of the mangled sewerage system can be drafted before the disaster-stricken region returns to square one. 

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BLEAUUGHGH pt 2

Syabudhin is also joining in with Di Tiro with BLEAUUGHGH cholera.

Di Tiro appears to be vomiting on everyone in the room too. I wonder how many members will be vomiting by the end of today.

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$$$$$$$$$$$$

tnacommandeez nuts

Apparently this crisis has been taken as a money making opportunity by a certain Mr Djoko Kirmanto. He has set up shopping accounts and is going around selling what he calls a "Cholera Antidote". It costs merely 75$ per 5ml bottle!

What is weird though, the liquid resembles that of diluted soap water, just like bathwater.

The citizens quickly buy many stocks of this, however, they seem to simply come down with worse diarrhoea and vomiting.

BLEAUUGHGH

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Mulberry Madness

After multiple attempts at constructing a mulberry harbour from multiple local leaders, across multiple coastal sites, and with multiple building materials (including an attempt at constructing a harbour with Chateraise Double Fantasy Cream Puffs), Tengku Zulkarnain, Regent of Aceh Besar, and Ghazi "Conqueror" Ghaffari, Regional Commander of Aceh Besar, have joined forces and bridged the Govt-GAM gap by finally building a functioning mulberry harbour in Aceh Besar.

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shoot on sight

Teuku Ali has gone into hiding (quarantine) and is now refusing to talk to anyone directly, and all his men are staying rock still like statues

In addition he has authorised his men to shoot on sight. Anyone who is found to have cholera will be shot to prevent the spread. There are now random gunshots ringing in the compound every few minutes.

Di Tiro, I advise you to stay away from this man and his men

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BLEAUUGHGH

Di Tiro is a very sick man indeed.

Having seen the devastation and chaos in Aceh, Di Tiro appears to be attempting to escape from Aceh, deserting his men. However, he booked a public flight, while still infected. What an inconsiderate man indeed, planning to expose an entire plane flight to cholera.

He promptly vomits once in the plane, right onto a flight attendant. Poor woman. Anyways, he has been kicked off the plane in disgrace for assaulting a flight attendant and public misconduct.

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Laughing Stock

January 29, 2005 | 11:39 AM

Delegates of the Press took one look at Aceh, and descending into chaos between GAM and Government, with a complete failure to consider the ramifications of disaster, and rampant mismanagement, they had one word to give their editors.

Doomed.

The international community encourages Indonesia to pursue relief methods to provide safe living habitats to displaced residents.

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Cholera Runs Rife

Across Aceh, the displaced are developing cholera and dysentery en masse. While food and water supplies have been delivered to temporary shelters across Aceh, as repeated requests for food, water, and healthcare professionals have been fulfilled, temporary sanitation in these shelters is lacklustre. 

When interviewed, North Acehnese woman Diah Nur said, “BLEAAHAUHUGHUHGH”.

Additionally, Mikhail Muhd, a Malaysian preventive medicine professional who was part of the United Nations healthcare delegation to Aceh, chipped in with “AAAABLUEAUGHU GUHUHG BLEAHUHUGHHU”.

Shelters in Central and East Aceh report that a majority of patients now present with conditions induced by poor hygiene, surpassing injuries caused by flooding. 

Away from the shelters, supply of clean water has also been massively disrupted across metropolitan areas, with the streets being littered with sanitary waste.

In fact, Hasan Di Tiro has himself developed frequent, incessant vomiting - he must now say BLEAUUGHGH before the start of every speech.

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Victim of hit-and-run, or potential terrorist?

BREAKING NEWS: Victim of hit-and-run found in possession of explosives

A woman was found as the victim of a hit and run case along Orchard Road at 11.30pm. The victim was found unconscious in a pool of blood, and has been declared dead by emergency responders on site.

She has also been found in possession of explosives. Preliminary reports suggest that the explosives are similar to those responsible for the tragic bombing at the GAM embassy in Kuala Lumpur not long ago. The case has been handed over to the police.