ackermansimper
ackermansimper
♥•Ackerman Simp•♥
62 posts
On hiatus! Requests: OPEN I only write for Levi, Mikasa, and Kenny btw Hope you enjoy my acc!
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Levi forgiving his enemy after a hurtful insult
"Ever since they've met they've been at each other's throats" Erwin said a bit frustrated after you both began bickering at the meeting table. "I don't know why it's such an issue to you! I think it's kinda cute, enemies to lover type stuff y'know?!" Hange said excitedly as Moblit sighed with a small head shake. "Nevermind that section commander. You have paperwork to finish by tomorrow so let's get going" Moblit reminded her which only dragged out a groan and some whining before she followed along.
They only knew what happened during the meeting though. After the little argument you and Levi had at the meeting that would discuss formation plans, Erwin ended up dragging you both outside to which you had another argument. You mentioned his past as usual attempting to spite him while he mentioned how much times you almost died in the past expedition and how'd you probably die the next one. After a particular insult you threw at him though, he ended up just walking away while you stormed off in the opposite direction.
Once you were in your room with your arms beneath your head and you stared at the ceiling, you felt a bit bad.
"Oh it's always me almost dying and being a weakling. At least I'm able to protect my friends unlike you, what happened to your first ones?!"
You may have gone too far. Especially considering he didn't even spare you another insult and just walked away. A part of you was starting to feel guilty so you got up and left your pride at the door as you walked to Levi's dorm to apologize.
Once you made it there you knocked once and then twice. If he didn't answer here, you'd just go check his office. Easy enough. He did answer though. He creaked the door slightly and looked to you as to question what you wanted. You nervously smiled at him and chuckled slightly.
"Hey buddyyy" you started and received an unamused scoff. "Alright I know I talked too much, I'm sorry Levi. You know I didn't mean it, I was just trying to get under your skin" you explained as you threw your hands up to sound and look less of a threat.
"You do talk to much. And you succeeded" he said before trying to close the door. Your reflexes suddenly becoming fast allowed you to put your foot in-between the door frame and the door. "Hold on. Don't just give me that capt" you said. He simply groaned and let the door knob go, making the door swing open a bit. "What do you want? Validation that I don't care? I don't" he said with a frustrated tone you usually enjoyed hearing. Right now though, not so much.
"Well yeah maybe I do want some validation. Validation you're fine and my words didn't go deep." you said with a small shrug. "Then I'm fine. Just leave already Y/n" he said turning around and going to his chair. "You know I love the attention Levi." you said closing the door and beginning to trail after him. "You can't seriously just tell me to leave and expect I do that without annoying you at least a bit more" you said in a jokingly tone that only got a glare out of him. After a few seconds of you not taking it seriously, he gave up and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes and sighing.
You grabbed his hand and traced his knuckles with your fingers. "What are you still doing here? You've gotten enough attention, haven't you?" he asked as he looked at you as you held his hand up. "I'm not leaving till I know you actually forgive me" you said pouting a bit. "I forgive you. It's really fine. You know I can't stay mad at you." he said pulling his hand back. "Alright" you simply responded before beginning to leave.
"Night Levi." you said as you walked out the door
"Night."
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Line without a hook
word count: 0.6k (Levi x reader)
Line Without a Hook - Ricky Montgomery
-Summary: Levi doesn't think he's worthy of your love and is full of insecurities about the thought of being able to have you at his side. Despite that, he takes the opportunity to be selfish and let himself indulge in love for the first time.
Levi doesn't give too much of a damn the way you tend to touch him when you're both alone but in the back of his mind he wonders if there's any underlying feelings on your part like there is on his.
Whenever he leaves, the only thing he can think about is if you like it when he's away. Do you find it more peaceful? Do you enjoy time more when he isn't there? He knows it's just a dumb insecurity he's dealing with but he isn't so sure why. He knows he has feelings for you and although he tried to deny them at first, they stuck around. But why is he getting so much thoughts and insecurities about everything involved with you now?
What if he was hurt? Would you care? If he lost a whole arm would you still be there? If he wasn't the same person he was today, would you still love him? Do you love him?
Love wasn't something he usually received as a child. His mom died when he was young and any other relationship he formed with people after that was ruined by either them leaving or dying. Almost like some curse he has on him. So what's stopping you from leaving? What's stopping the world from taking you from him and death getting involved?
He hates the way he feels about you though. Always worrying about you, getting flustered around you, having to watch people be touchy with you the way he wished he could... It was humiliating. When you were around explosions went on in his mind, butterflies in his stomach, and his body felt like doing 10 cartwheels to try getting rid of it. Yet he couldn't. He just had to deal with all these feelings and do nothing about it because you two weren't together.
That's the issue though. He's a complete wreck without you and he needs you to stay. He can't verbalize that though unless he verbalized his undying love for you. Issue is that he doesn't know how. Not only that but he was scared. Scared of rejection, scared of getting attached.
But he couldn't avoid it. Everytime he saw even a single tear fall from your eye, it tore his heart out. It made him want to kill whoever made it happen, fix whatever issue made it happen, just hold you.
But what if it was him? What if he messed up and he didn't even know it? Was it something he said? Did he make you feel like a burden? He'd take whatever he said back in an instant if he knew. He just couldn't talk to you that way though. He couldn't try comforting you without giving himself up and seeming like a complete and utter fool. All he'd do is stutter and try being there for you but he'd just make a fool of himself, he knew better.
It didn't matter if you were sad. You probably wouldn't want his comfort or company anyway. Not in a vulnerable state like that. Levi just wasn't suitable for that.
Yet here you were, the one speaking your vulnerability outloud to him in the form of a love confession. He wouldn't be lying to say he was taken aback but he'd definitely be lying if he said he didn't like it.
You're a lady who deserves far more than him. He wouldn't consider himself worthy of even an ounce of your love. But for once. Just this one. He wanted, he needed to be selfish and just take it. Take all your love and keep it for himself. Share it with nobody and make sure he wasn't that lonely wreck he always was when you weren't around
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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super psycho love
word count: 0.7k (Levi x reader)
Super Psycho Love - Simon Curtis
-Summary: You and Levi have a relationship exclusive to sleeping together and no strings attached. You though, very much have feelings for him and are confused as to if he feels anything other than what you initially agreed on
Something lately has been driving you crazy. Possibly because of Levi or maybe it's just the way he makes you feel. You were purely sleeping buddies. No strings were attached in any of it yet you failed the 'no catching feelings' part. It didn't do you any good either.
All it did was make you struggle for getting his attention in anything other than sexual intimacy. That's the only attention you ever got from him though. However, whenever you went over to his office and started any of that, all it brought to you was stress and an apprehensive feeling.
You knew straight well that an uncomfortable feeling like that shouldn't be involved in an intimacy like sex. And sex together wasn't uncommon for the both of you so it only stressed you out more. Of course you enjoyed Levi's time and being able to be exclusive to him in bed but you wanted more. Monogamy was nice but it didn't mean much when there weren't any type of feelings involved whatsoever.
In times other than bed, maybe just a normal training day, he doesn't seem to mind too much when you're flirting with him. You knew it was probably just because you both were sexually involved but a part of you wanted to believe he liked it because he wanted something more than what you both had.
Despite the somewhat attention you got from him during your alone moments and silly flirts, you just couldn't get him where you wanted him. You couldn't get him wanting you the way you wanted him. It was so frustrated and only made you feel unwanted. You both didn't have those fluffy, sentimental, soppy moments.
Everything was so confusing for you. To the random touches you both had to the flirty words exchanged between each other, it just confused you. If he didn't wanna be something substantial with you then why'd he let all those things happen? Wouldn't that be strings attached?
You wanted him to say that he wanted you, to tell you that he needed you, to need you and want you everyday and in every way. Almost like the way you felt for him.
You were sure you'd go insane from the bitter feelings you'd get that were somehow filled with love for Levi. No matter how big the pain in you felt, you just couldn't get rid of this psycho love you had for him.
You wanted, no you needed him to tell you how much you mesmerized him. You needed him to tell you these feelings you hoped he had been hiding as well. You needed all that.
You loved him so much. A part of you despised him as he made you go through all this but you still loved him. Still though, pda wasn't a thing between you both for obvious reasons. He didn't mind when you'd flirt or anything but he wouldn't refrain from responding or leading it on in front of others. So of course, you'd just be ignored or disregarded in public which was another thing that confused you. Does he want something other than just sex but just in private? Like a secret relationship? You didn't really know. You both weren't too secretive with your whole thing going on as anyone could see that you could get a bit closer to Levi but it still wasn't out there. People could make up rumors and say you both were together in secret but no one would know for sure since he'd just ignore you in public spaces or around people.
A part of you thought he was probably just leading you on. He let you do these flirtatious things with your touches and words yet would discard them when around others. You just wanted to know if he wanted to let you go. You wanted him to make that clear with you.
You want him to tell you how he felt about you. You wanted to know if he wanted you the way you want him. To know if he needed you, to know if he had returned any of these feelings.
You'd be completely fine letting him tear your heart out slow. But you needed to know if he reciprocated any of that.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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If the world was ending
Word count: 0.7k (Levi x reader)
If the world was ending - Julia Michaels
-Summary: With the new expedition coming up and you and Levi recently been broken up, all you two can think about is each other and if this latest expedition will be the end of the world, the end of you, or the end of him
Levi put a hand through his hair and sighed. Life without you had been hell ever since you both had broken up. He felt like he couldn't even function right. Not only that but there was an upcoming expedition that he should've been preparing for yet couldn't find the strength to. All he could think about was you. He cursed himself out so many times for letting himself get so vulnerable with you and for letting himself get attached. He hated himself for it.
He was hoping you weren't as bad though. He was distracted from his mian objectives but he wouldn't want that of you. He wants you to be prepared and in a straight mindset before fleeing into battle. What if the world were to end in this expedition? What if you were to end?
He knows you and him weren't meant to be and your love story wasn't some fairytale. He had acknowledged those things. And it was fine. It was completely fine, he was completely fine.
But still though, he liked to think, if the world were really ending would you come over? Would you spend your last night with him instead of anyone else? Would you forget about all the heartbreak and let yourself love him? Would you let him love you? Would everything and everyone be irrelevant in those moments? Would your fears of the Titans be irrelevant?
Would the Titans be destroying and eating everyone while he held you tight? Would you two not have a single reason to say goodbye? If the world was ending, you'd be with him. That's all he could hope for.
On the other hand with you though, you were simply sitting on the floor against the door. Each time you went out, it was like you were avoiding Levi like the plague. You couldn't begin to imagine if you saw each other. Yet you still tried. You tried to imagine his reaction if he saw you now. You tried to imagine if he felt the same as you in anyway. You didn't want him to yet also did. You didn't wanna be the only one suffering and maybe that was selfish. It was selfish. But how could you not? There's an upcoming expedition and you probably hadn't been on his mind since. He probably didn't think about whether you'd die or not. He wasn't thinking about checking your gear right before it and he most certainly wouldn't be thinking about you being his main objective to protect. No. Things have changed. He'll be thinking of humanity now, you don't matter to him anymore.
You just wanna stop. You want the pain to stop when you think of him. You wanna figure out how to think about him without it ripping your heart out.
You know you both weren't going to be together and in a sense that was fine. Nothing's forever in this world. And in the military especially.
But still you like to think, if the world were ending he'd come over. He'd run back into your arms to spend his last moments with you. He'd love you for the hell of it and not give a damn about anything else happening. Everything beside you would be irrelevant. You'd be the center of attention for him and it'd be fine for you both. Even if Titans were running all around you and slaughtering your friends and comrades, he'd hold you tight. You both wouldn't need to bid a farewell if you two were together the whole time, right? There'd be no reason to. You were hoping from the bottom of your heart that Levi would rather spend his last moments with you rather than fighting to his last bone. You hoped he'd find you both being in each other's arms more important.
But you both know you both weren't down for forever.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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I ended up LOVING this one and wrote a lot more than I normally do for these song inspired write offs. I may or may not do a part two, depends if anyone wants it and if I have time later down the road
Feel better
Word count: 1.8k (Levi x reader)
Feel better - Penelope Scott
-Summary: Levi doesn't wanna feel better after the way he rejected you. He can't bring himself to let himself be after the tears that were shed from your eyes because of him
Levi leaned in his chair and looked up towards the ceiling with blank eyes. The way he rejected you.. He always knew you had feelings for him and truth be told, he felt the same way. He couldn't bring himself to allow a relationship within his life though. Not with everything going on. Having to be vulnerable and show that side of himself wouldn't exactly be easy for him either.
So despite you both being best friends and practically already lovers, he shot you down. He knew you both were close and had mutual feelings but he was willing to ruin your friendship if it meant not having such a weakness be displayed on him. He just couldn't have a relationship. For many reasons.
He had rejected you badly. He didn't let you down slowly in the slightest and he knew that. He didn't intend for it to be so bad that he'd see you cry for the first time but that's what ended up happening.
"Sorry if it's a bit late Levi" you had said with a small smile on your face. "It's fine. You know I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway" Levi responded rubbing his eye a bit. "Walk with me"
He did as instructed and after a bit you spoke again. "Levi. This might sound a bit abrupt but I'm not gonna beat around the bush." you began, slowing down before coming to a complete stop. "I like you. More than a friend. And if you feel the same way, I was thinking we could-" he suddenly interrupted you for one of the few times ever.
"No." was all he said. "No?" you repeated with a confused face before it turned into a pain-struck face. "Oh.. I see" you said with as much composure as you could. You were about to walk away before he spoke again.
"You're pitiful" he said. You didn't know what he was playing at and decided against finding out. You didn't turn to face him and debated whether just walking away now or not. "The most you'd ever be is a friend. And even that is a bit of a stretch." A bit of a stretch? So we aren't friends now?
"You're also a bit too much for me anyway and can act annoying. A relationship with you would be literal hell. There's no way in fuck that i'd date you and you know that. The fact you came and said all that is-"
"Levi. Shut the fuck up." You said before turning to face him. He was obviously taken aback by the tears wetting your cheeks, revealing why you had been so quiet before. The glare you were giving wasn't helping his surprise either
"Now that I think about it, there's no way in fuck that I'd date you! You're ignorant, cold, and don't even think about how the shit you say and do affect other people! You're just a big selfish asshole and this is why you'll always be lost in life!" you yelled out before turning away and speed walking somewhere. Anywhere. It didn't matter where. Just a place that Levi wasn't in and it'd be fine.
Levi couldn't get away from himself though. He was stuck with himself and that to him was the real hell. A relationship with you wouldn't even come close to it but he knew a relationship would him would just about be hell itself.
So whether he regrets it or not, he'll convince himself he doesn't. Because you deserve better and the world just isn't fit for that. He isn't fit for that. Everyone who loves him dies and he's already accepted that curse.
Later that day, when Levi's paperwork and reports were finally finished and he had no more work to do, he finally laid down on his bed in the shared room of his and Erwin's. He rarely visited it nor laid in the bed. It wasn't a common occurrence for him to be able to do this. As he relaxed his muscles into the soft fabric though, you entered his mind. An image of your normally courageous face with tears, and mad. And at no one but him.
He began to question the things you had yelled out at him in a fit of rage. You both hadn't talked since the incident and he didn't blame you but he never bothered to take into account what you had said. Maybe a bit of it was because he was occupied with work but most of it was just that he didn't wanna accept or think of what you had said.
He was ignorant? Cold? Selfish? Lost? You don't think you wanna be with him either? He doesn't think about how he hurts people? He doesn't. Maybe that's what makes him ignorant. Maybe that's what makes him cold. And selfish. And lost.
He furrowed his eyebrows at the feeling of his eyes watering. It wasn't everyday he cried. Nor was it often. But the more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. Someone loved him. Someone fucking loved him and he knows damn well he loved them too. Yet he rejected and broke her in the process. He was the reason behind her tears.
He was worth something to her yet threw it back in her face with a bunch of insults just to salt the wound. He had his chance but he blew it. He blew it so fucking bad that he can't even think of trying to fix it. Not that he really can though.
At this point he doesn't wanna feel better. The most he could do was think about all the things you'd do together. The times you both would sit shoulder to shoulder while sipping on tea, the times you both would have picnics on your rare free days, the times you both would talk in between training the cadets, the times you both always had a habit of buying something for each other while out. There was so much moments he could think about and he hated it. He hated thinking about the random nights he'd knock at your door after leaving his office and just sleep in your room with the excuse of "Mine and Erwin's room is too far, I'm shit tired." which he knew wasn't true. The way you both would cuddle together under the same sheets and he could wake up from a decent night of sleep.
He led you on. That's probably what you thought. That wasn't his intention though. He enjoyed the lover similar affection he got from you without the official title. Without it meant he didn't have to accept that he's becoming vulnerable. Without it meant that it wouldn't hurt if you died in the hands of a Titan. Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. He knew it didn't matter whether the title was on you both or not, if you died it'd hurt like hell. He loved you and he knew that. But now he's lost you and he knows that.
When he was around you he felt like he was worth something. He felt like he actually earned something. He felt like he had rights to everything when he was with you. Death, life, choice, and even love. He can be stubborn and stuck up though. So instead of listening to his heart, he listened to the distant part of his brain telling him not to do it. To end it before it got too far. He wanted to but he couldn't. And when you confessed that was the breaking point. The point where he had no choice and had to end things.
He can't imagine a love like this again. He doesn't want to. No one's gonna love him like you did. No one's gonna understand or even try to as hard as you did. No one can be like you or devote themselves to him the way you did. And for him to treat you that way...
He wants to rip himself apart. He wants to rip himself to shreds. He wants to hurt himself a million times over the way he hurt you. He wants to take revenge on himself as his final devotion to you. He wants to prove something, anything. But he can't.
It hurts worse than hell. The way he hurt you. The look on your face. The hatred in your voice. He hated the way it hurt. He hated the throbbing pain in his heart when he revisited the memories of the rejection. He hated that he had a heart, he wanted to tear it out his chest and throw it in a bush or something. He wanted to get rid of it and never have these feelings again.
It scared him how much he was afraid of losing you although he already had. He hated how he was such a train wreck and you were probably getting over it already. He didn't wanna get over it.
Cause someone loved him. You loved him. The girl he had gotten the closest to since he joined the survey corps and the girl who had always been there for him since the start. The girl who helped him through his friend's deaths and the girl who never down talked him because of where he came from. The girl he had gotten so comfortable with that he could simply fall asleep in her arms. The girl he knew for years yet could hurt in an instant. You were the girl. The girl who fucking loved him and had that love stomped on and destroyed.
In all his filthy life he never thought he'd find love like this. Yet here you were. And he turned it away. Not only that but he turned it away so harshly that he could never take it back. He fell for a girl he barely knew. And soon that girl he barely knew became the person he knew best and the person who knew him best.
He loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. There was no question about it. No I guess, no maybe, no perhaps. He knew. He always did.
But it didn't matter anymore. Because now you're a far distance from him. You're over there while he's over here. Left to sulk in his regrets and stubbornness.
He doesn't wanna feel better. He can't feel better. No one will ever love him like you did. No one will ever love him again. He doesn't wanna get over you, he can't. All he wants to do is go back to cuddling you in bed. He wants to feel better. But that better is only if you're there.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Chamber of reflection
Word count: 0.3k (Levi x reader)
Chamber of reflection - Mac DeMarco
-Summary: You've just broken up with Levi and he's left with an alone feeling he can't get rid of.
Levi walked into his office and sat down. He picked up his pen but immediately dropped it. You were gone. Gone of your own will too. Because he wasn't good enough. He couldn't come to terms with that though. He didn't want to believe you had really just broken up with him and he didn't want to believe that he wasn't enough for you. You always told him he was, you wouldn't lie.
But he had to just be alone. Alone in his office like he was alone in life. Alone away from everybody who would only further his headache. Alone from you, alone from the fact that soon you'll find a better man. Just alone.
Cause he made this happen himself. If he had been a better partner then this wouldn't have happened. If he had just.. been better.
But now, he's all alone again. Alone again and stuck with this eternal lonely feeling. How could he had been so naive? To actually had believed that he finally found someone. Someone who'd take that loneliness away. Someone that would be there forever until they both died. When in reality, it was all some fantasy he made up. Not in his life would he ever be given something like that. He shouldn't have even tried anyway. You probably would've died sooner or later. Only reason you're not there with him now is because you beat death to the punch and did it yourself. You left yourself.
No one was there. He did this to himself. He's alone again. Stuck to reflect how he could've been better. Just, alone again.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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It's you
Word count: 0.8k (Levi x reader)
It's you - Ali Gatie
-Summary: You're the only person Levi could ever imagine loving and being loved by. He's been broken many times before but he puts his trust in you anyway to not leave him and stick by his side
It's you. The only person Levi could ever imagine trying to love in this broken world. It'd always be you. One of the first people he met when he came up to the surface. One of the only people who showed him compassion and didn't immediately judge him based on where he was from. Nobody was like you.
When he finally confessed to you over slurred and stuttering words, it was clear he wasn't sure. He loved you, he always acted a bit nervous around you despite beginning to climb the ranks and earn himself respect. Still though, he crumbled upon you. And the day you accepted his feelings didn't make it any better. He was beginning to warm up to you and was a bit more comfortable but he seemed afraid. Afraid you'd leave him or something.
It was like he was begging you not to each time he looked at you or changed his tone when you were around. How he lessened his insults and stayed more quiet around you. As if to mask his bluntness and rudeness everyone usually hated and judged him for.
He loved being with you though. Despite wanting to be better in your eyes and constantly wanting to falter his attitude and self for you, he enjoyed being with you. He liked being able to just hug you and not get any backlash. He liked being able to hold your hand. He liked the cheek kisses you'd give him, the head pats, hair ruffles, he liked it all.
But he's been broken before. The day his two friends died was what made him so afraid. Afraid you could leave or get killed by a Titan like his friends. Then he'd be alone again. He didn't wanna get too used to all your affection for that reason but it was addictive. He was addicted to your love but didn't want to. But just like any drug, he got withdrawals. The high of your love made him feel like he was on cloud nine but if he ever wanted to try challenging himself to stay away for a bit, prepare for the inevitably of your death, he couldn't. The fall was too hard.
That's what initially made him to decide to just be selfish and take as much as he could. To get all the love he could from you. At some point he didn't care who was watching. He hated PDA yet always had to be holding your hand. He doesn't want to be broken though. You could leave, find someone else better than him. You could get yourself in danger and die. He was gonna be greedy and keep himself from breaking that way. He was delicate. Had to take care of himself and be selfish. He couldn't let himself break anymore than he already had.
He didn't wanna open up to you at first. To have the people who know your deepest darkest secrets quite literally take it to the grave was terrifying to him. That's how it was with them. With Furlan and Isabel. They died with his secrets. They died as the closest people to him. He didn't want to be open with you. But he couldn't help himself and soon you were the person who knew him best. The person who only needed a glance to know if he was uncomfortable, upset, angry, joyed. He didn't wanna be open and then find out your love wasn't real.
Levi knows all too well that he shouldn't be with you. He knows that. You deserve better than him. You deserve someone not so greedy that they constantly stick by you. You deserve someone who isn't so unstable with themselves. Someone who can be their real self around you. He can't even tell if he's faking it or not anymore. When with you he's more quiet, his attentions on you. His coldness seemes to melt around you. He's more talkative as long as it's you talking to him. He tries harder to be in the conversation if you're in it. He tries harder for your attention and almost forgets about the normal insulting comments he'd usually throw around.
He knows his past speaks for itself but he's so happy you didn't judge him on it. That might be why he's trying to distance himself from it a bit. Maybe he's a bit scared that everyone's first opinion of him was right and you'll realize it soon too. Maybe he doesn't wanna be left again with history repeating itself. He doesn't wanna be abandoned by will or by not. He just wants you by his side.
Because it's you. The love of his life. The only one he wants to try for. The only one he needs approval and love from.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Pain
Word count: 2.1k (Levi x reader)
Pain - Three days grace
-Summary: You're numb until you meet Levi and suddenly want to feel the pain of Levi's threats and the pain of loving him.
For years now, you've been numb. For years now, you've simply watched everyone around you. For so long you've been the quiet, threatening girl who everyone's intimidated by. Yet here he stands, unaffected with a gaze that even challenges you.
You face stayed blank and your non blinking eyes stared straight at him. The commander was sensing tension and quickly put an arm around the guy's shoulder. The sudden contact made him stop glaring at you and look towards the commander.
"Excuse me Y/n. I don't believe you've met Levi yet. He's new here" he said with a charming smile. "Clearly. If he knew I could gut him out I doubt he'd look so confident" you said making the guy named Levi turn his gaze back towards you with furrowed brows. "Let's not be so brass" Erwin responded nervously.
And that's how you met him. The guy you'd soon be obsessed with to the core. The one guy you'd actually want to care about. The one guy that'd be living proof you weren't as numb and emotionless as you once thought.
How did this happen? It was soon after your encounter that you were alone with him. You both had turned the hall at the same time. As you inched closer and closer to each other, you side eyed him. He suddenly stopped once you both were almost shoulder to shoulder. You furrowed your brows and stopped as well.
You stared at him, waiting to see if he'd talk or not. And after a few seconds, he did. "What the hell is your problem?" he asked. You didn't respond though. You simply eyed him up and down. He gritted his teeth and pushed you towards the wall, pinning you between his arms. Your eyes widened. You didn't feel nervous or shocked but you felt something. You just couldn't put your finger on what it was.
"All you dumbasses know how to do is talk shit but you can't back it up, can you? That's how all you surfaced people are. Too spoiled to care. Getting served meals everyday, that's not how it worked in the underworld. You wouldn't know that though."
You could feel you cheeks heating up. Never once have you been dominated like this. No one had the balls to try going against you. Yet here you are. A body shading you from the light and being called a dumbass. Your expression soon changed to a small smirk and chilled eyes. You placed a hand on his chest.
"Distance" you said slowly. He scoffed at the fact that that's all you had to say. "So all you can do is constantly glare and mutter dumb shit but the minute you're confronted you pussy away?" he asked with obvious frustration laced in his voice. "Temper" you said slowly with your smirk growing by the second.
In a second he was backing away with a simple glare towards you as he began walking away. "You're not worth my time. If I break your arm now, I'll get in trouble" he said in a low voice as he walked away.
The thought of him breaking your arm... You don't know why but it made you feel something. It made you interested. It made you want him. Want him to break your arm and then kiss you right after. To be rough with you and cause all your pain while taking your numbness away.
Everytime you see Levi now you give him a small smile only to receive a scoff or rude comment. It hurt but felt so good at the same time. Instead of feeling absolutely nothing, you were feeling pain. And something else. Love. If that's what it is.
You just can't get enough of the pain. The roughness of it's nature, the roughness of his nature. Of course someone so violent is from the underground. Someone so dominate. You'd just rather feel pain than nothing at all and it seems the remedy to the numbness is right here in the form of a human.
You interacted with him a few times after that. Most of the interactions consisted of him insulting to while you barely spoke. However one day you saw him.
You walked up to Levi, standing next to him as he examined the field of training cadets. "Having trouble finding a partner?" you asked quietly. He looked you up and down and looked back towards the field. "I can be your partner" you said looking to the side and thinking of being with him. "As much as I'd like to break all your bones, I need someone on my level. If I fight someone weaker than me I'm not getting any stronger" he said sighing towards the end.
"You won't find it here. All of these cadets have been here for a mere 3 months. If you're looking for a real fight, come back when the official squads are training" you said before running a hand through the front of your hair. "Or you could just fight me. I've been here for years"
He looked at you and observed your body for a few seconds. "Pure look you haven't died yet" he said getting into position. You smirked and walked away a bit to create some distance before also getting into position. It seemed as if he was waiting for you to make the first move but you didn't plan on trying. You wanted him to hurt you.
He suddenly came charging at you with a fist of which you grabbed and twisted over him, holding him there. As you took the opportunity to observe his balled up fist with a faint blush, he kicked you from under, knocking you over backwards which you quickly caught yourself from. Although he took the chance to grab you from your arms. He had you kneeling down with your arms behind you as he looked over you. You wanted to look behind you badly although you couldn't since he began putting pressure within his hold on your arms. He was twisting them until you'd forfeit. Twisting them till he would've strained them. Waiting for you to end the short fight that had barely any effort put into it.
"I thought you were gonna give me a fight" he said applying more pressure into his grasp. You groaned a bit and threw your head back a bit at the pain.
You were sick of feeling numb. And you were sure you weren't the only one as you looked at his expressionless face. "Levi.." you nearly whimpered out with a smile. "You're a fuck" he said letting go. As soon as he let go you dropped your smile and put your hands to the ground with a frown. You turned your body a bit so you could look behind you to where Levi was. He looked down at you with a scowl. "Don't you dare fucking get off this. You're sick." he said looking to the side.
A small smile found its way on your face as you grabbed his hand. You wanted to take him by the hand and show him a different world. One he'd understand. One as wicked as the underground. All this world is filled with is hurt yet after a while, it no longer applied to you. But now you want it to.
Levi pulled on his hand a bit which pulled you into reality. You looked up at him. "Happiness doesn't work in this world anymore" you said. He scoffed and pulled his hand away from you. "Whatever" he said before walking away with his hands to his sides.
You didn't want that though. You wanted him to trust you to have his hand. Trust you enough to take his hand and trust you in the dark, trust you to show you his real self. The world made him like this. The pain made him like this. Different from you. The pain made you numb. But you wanna be in the dark. Where you aren't numb and can show your true intentions. Evil or not. You want that for him too though.
Towards the end of the day, you were laying in your bed with a cheeky grin. His roughness. You wish you had put a bit more effort into your little fight with him today. That way it wouldn't had been so short and you could've enjoyed the pain longer. You couldn't sleep all night thinking of it. Thinking of other painful things that could happen. Blood being drawn from you, a knife causing wounds, being tortured. All by Levi. You wouldn't be numb at all.. You'd feel something. You'd feel pain.
By the next day you were happily speed walking to the dining hall, excited for the next time you'd see Levi. Once you entered and saw him next to Erwin, you calmed yourself down.
You removed the big smile and slowly walked to grab a tray of food. Once you had gotten all your food, you walked.up behind where Levi was sitting and plopped your tray down right next to him, catching him and everyone sitting there by surprise. He looked up towards you and rolled his eyes as Hange made a confused gasp as to why you chose to sit with them all.
"Huuuhhh?! I thought you said you hated me and that I was too loud and a Titan fucker?! And you said Miche was a panty sniffing dog?! And you said Nanaba was a stupid little-" suddenly Erwin chose to cut her off. "Y/n! What a surprise you'd sit here.." he said witha. questioning gaze. "Yes, I did say all those things. And don't forget about Erwin being a bushy eyebrows dumbass who can only dream of having a wife. But that's besides the point..I'm here because of my friend." you said as you brought up your spoon from your soup bowl and drank some.
"We're friends?" Moblit asked relieved after having been threatened by you a million times. You looked towards him before speaking. "No. Levi." After hearing his name he looked over her shoulder at you. "What?" he said with a glare. You smiled softly at him only to receive a "tch" and an insult muttered under his breath.
"I didn't know you two were friends?" Erwin said with a smirk towards Levi as if he was asking him for confirmation. "This is fucking agony" he said looking at you. "Don't be so angry Levi. I've told you before, temper" you said placing an elbow on the table and your chin in your hand. "Anger and Agony.. Better than misery, right?" you asked. "Might as well be the same thing" he responded looking away.
"The same thing?! They are all extremely different, I should define them for you dear Levi!" Hange shouted out excitedly before going on a rant. The whole time though, your eyes were on Levi. After about a minute of Hange's ranting, Levi got up and began walking away, much to your dismay. You pushed your tray towards Erwin. "You can have that" you said before running off after Levi and not waiting for a response.
Once you caught up you slowed your pace. "Levi." you said. He simply looked at you without a word back. You grabbed his arm to which he stopped walking. He looked annoyed but despite it you put his arm around your shoulder, blushing afterwards.
"What's been up with you recently? You've been acting like a dumbass" he said. "You're wounded" you retorted. He squinted at you. "No I'm not"
You moved your body closer to his. "You are. You've experienced pain, haven't you? But how are you when the lights are off? When no one's watching? Are you still such an asshole?" you asked. He scoffed quietly. "Don't act like you know me. It's barely been a month" he said tightening his arm around your shoulder.
"But I'm right. That's all the world has to offer. Pain. But I can save you. Cause I'm always here" you said placing your hand under his chin.
"Obviously" he said sarcastically as he let you touch him. "Wouldn't you rather feel pain than nothing?" you asked. "No" he responded as you closed your distance and kissed him. He didn't stop you but didn't kiss back. It was confusing.
How'd this start as you wanting him to hurt you? How do you still want that?
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Back to you
Word count: 0.6k (Levi x reader)
Back to you - Louis Tomlinson
-Summary: Yours and Levi's relationship is toxic yet neither of you can leave.
You two were clearly toxic for each other. Toxic together. You both just knew each other so well. Too well. Better than you even knew yourself. Even so, you never thought you'd be with a guy like Levi yet here you were. In an on and off relationship with the guy, no less.
Doesn't matter how much you try getting his attention either. He much rather ignore you than deal with the constant annoyance and headaches you give him. Even if it's the same way with you to him, you hated it.
You wanna be done with his games. With both your games. Yet you can't. You get so distracted and numb with drinking and other activities that it doesn't matter anymore. It's like you just forget about it all. About all the pain. That is until you're sober and conscious.
He stresses you out and it's like he's killing you after each argument. He fucks you up so bad and it's like he knows it but doesn't at the same time. Each screaming match just results in you on the ground screaming at him while he stays the same cold and distant asshole you'd come to love. And worst part is you don't know how to make it stop. How to make him stop, yourself stop, how to end it.You love it, you hate it, but then you can't take it. None of it matters though cause you keep coming back to him.
Sometimes Levi thinks Erwin and Miche give him bad advice. How Erwin tells him the relationship isn't healthy. How Miche tells him that he needs to move on. It's like they don't know that he's tried though. Many times but he loves you too much to actually leave. It's like you've got him cornered and he can't leave. He knows he can't entirely blame you though.
You've got him addicted to the drama and he let that happen. He wants to be done with all these games yet stays and let's himself forget the pain for a bit.
The amount of stress you put him through is huger than huge and the way it kills him is something he can't put into words. The way he has to deal with the fact you're screaming at him from the ground and he can't make it stop. He loves being with you yet hates it at the same time. It doesn't matter though cause he'll keep coming back to you. You could annoy him to hell and he'll stick by you.
He knows you'll never know the bullshit he's putting up with by staying around but can't blame anyone but himself for not leaving.
Cause by the end of the day you're in his arms letting him kiss you and ease any pain. He knows he's addicted to your drama. He knows he's addicted to you. He knows he can't leave and it's a "here we go again" situation for as long as he chooses that.
You both stress each other out. You kill each other. Everytime, it's like all you both know how to do is fuck each other up. Neither of you can stop the screaming nor the toxicity within your bond. You both love and hate each other. Sometimes you can't take it but then you can. And the way you both keep on coming back to each other proves that.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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I ended up LOVING this one and wrote a lot more than I normally do for these song inspired write offs. I may or may not do a part two, depends if anyone wants it and if I have time later down the road
Feel better
Word count: 1.8k (Levi x reader)
Feel better - Penelope Scott
-Summary: Levi doesn't wanna feel better after the way he rejected you. He can't bring himself to let himself be after the tears that were shed from your eyes because of him
Levi leaned in his chair and looked up towards the ceiling with blank eyes. The way he rejected you.. He always knew you had feelings for him and truth be told, he felt the same way. He couldn't bring himself to allow a relationship within his life though. Not with everything going on. Having to be vulnerable and show that side of himself wouldn't exactly be easy for him either.
So despite you both being best friends and practically already lovers, he shot you down. He knew you both were close and had mutual feelings but he was willing to ruin your friendship if it meant not having such a weakness be displayed on him. He just couldn't have a relationship. For many reasons.
He had rejected you badly. He didn't let you down slowly in the slightest and he knew that. He didn't intend for it to be so bad that he'd see you cry for the first time but that's what ended up happening.
"Sorry if it's a bit late Levi" you had said with a small smile on your face. "It's fine. You know I wasn't planning on sleeping anyway" Levi responded rubbing his eye a bit. "Walk with me"
He did as instructed and after a bit you spoke again. "Levi. This might sound a bit abrupt but I'm not gonna beat around the bush." you began, slowing down before coming to a complete stop. "I like you. More than a friend. And if you feel the same way, I was thinking we could-" he suddenly interrupted you for one of the few times ever.
"No." was all he said. "No?" you repeated with a confused face before it turned into a pain-struck face. "Oh.. I see" you said with as much composure as you could. You were about to walk away before he spoke again.
"You're pitiful" he said. You didn't know what he was playing at and decided against finding out. You didn't turn to face him and debated whether just walking away now or not. "The most you'd ever be is a friend. And even that is a bit of a stretch." A bit of a stretch? So we aren't friends now?
"You're also a bit too much for me anyway and can act annoying. A relationship with you would be literal hell. There's no way in fuck that i'd date you and you know that. The fact you came and said all that is-"
"Levi. Shut the fuck up." You said before turning to face him. He was obviously taken aback by the tears wetting your cheeks, revealing why you had been so quiet before. The glare you were giving wasn't helping his surprise either
"Now that I think about it, there's no way in fuck that I'd date you! You're ignorant, cold, and don't even think about how the shit you say and do affect other people! You're just a big selfish asshole and this is why you'll always be lost in life!" you yelled out before turning away and speed walking somewhere. Anywhere. It didn't matter where. Just a place that Levi wasn't in and it'd be fine.
Levi couldn't get away from himself though. He was stuck with himself and that to him was the real hell. A relationship with you wouldn't even come close to it but he knew a relationship would him would just about be hell itself.
So whether he regrets it or not, he'll convince himself he doesn't. Because you deserve better and the world just isn't fit for that. He isn't fit for that. Everyone who loves him dies and he's already accepted that curse.
Later that day, when Levi's paperwork and reports were finally finished and he had no more work to do, he finally laid down on his bed in the shared room of his and Erwin's. He rarely visited it nor laid in the bed. It wasn't a common occurrence for him to be able to do this. As he relaxed his muscles into the soft fabric though, you entered his mind. An image of your normally courageous face with tears, and mad. And at no one but him.
He began to question the things you had yelled out at him in a fit of rage. You both hadn't talked since the incident and he didn't blame you but he never bothered to take into account what you had said. Maybe a bit of it was because he was occupied with work but most of it was just that he didn't wanna accept or think of what you had said.
He was ignorant? Cold? Selfish? Lost? You don't think you wanna be with him either? He doesn't think about how he hurts people? He doesn't. Maybe that's what makes him ignorant. Maybe that's what makes him cold. And selfish. And lost.
He furrowed his eyebrows at the feeling of his eyes watering. It wasn't everyday he cried. Nor was it often. But the more he thought about it, the more he regretted it. Someone loved him. Someone fucking loved him and he knows damn well he loved them too. Yet he rejected and broke her in the process. He was the reason behind her tears.
He was worth something to her yet threw it back in her face with a bunch of insults just to salt the wound. He had his chance but he blew it. He blew it so fucking bad that he can't even think of trying to fix it. Not that he really can though.
At this point he doesn't wanna feel better. The most he could do was think about all the things you'd do together. The times you both would sit shoulder to shoulder while sipping on tea, the times you both would have picnics on your rare free days, the times you both would talk in between training the cadets, the times you both always had a habit of buying something for each other while out. There was so much moments he could think about and he hated it. He hated thinking about the random nights he'd knock at your door after leaving his office and just sleep in your room with the excuse of "Mine and Erwin's room is too far, I'm shit tired." which he knew wasn't true. The way you both would cuddle together under the same sheets and he could wake up from a decent night of sleep.
He led you on. That's probably what you thought. That wasn't his intention though. He enjoyed the lover similar affection he got from you without the official title. Without it meant he didn't have to accept that he's becoming vulnerable. Without it meant that it wouldn't hurt if you died in the hands of a Titan. Or at least that's what he wanted to believe. He knew it didn't matter whether the title was on you both or not, if you died it'd hurt like hell. He loved you and he knew that. But now he's lost you and he knows that.
When he was around you he felt like he was worth something. He felt like he actually earned something. He felt like he had rights to everything when he was with you. Death, life, choice, and even love. He can be stubborn and stuck up though. So instead of listening to his heart, he listened to the distant part of his brain telling him not to do it. To end it before it got too far. He wanted to but he couldn't. And when you confessed that was the breaking point. The point where he had no choice and had to end things.
He can't imagine a love like this again. He doesn't want to. No one's gonna love him like you did. No one's gonna understand or even try to as hard as you did. No one can be like you or devote themselves to him the way you did. And for him to treat you that way...
He wants to rip himself apart. He wants to rip himself to shreds. He wants to hurt himself a million times over the way he hurt you. He wants to take revenge on himself as his final devotion to you. He wants to prove something, anything. But he can't.
It hurts worse than hell. The way he hurt you. The look on your face. The hatred in your voice. He hated the way it hurt. He hated the throbbing pain in his heart when he revisited the memories of the rejection. He hated that he had a heart, he wanted to tear it out his chest and throw it in a bush or something. He wanted to get rid of it and never have these feelings again.
It scared him how much he was afraid of losing you although he already had. He hated how he was such a train wreck and you were probably getting over it already. He didn't wanna get over it.
Cause someone loved him. You loved him. The girl he had gotten the closest to since he joined the survey corps and the girl who had always been there for him since the start. The girl who helped him through his friend's deaths and the girl who never down talked him because of where he came from. The girl he had gotten so comfortable with that he could simply fall asleep in her arms. The girl he knew for years yet could hurt in an instant. You were the girl. The girl who fucking loved him and had that love stomped on and destroyed.
In all his filthy life he never thought he'd find love like this. Yet here you were. And he turned it away. Not only that but he turned it away so harshly that he could never take it back. He fell for a girl he barely knew. And soon that girl he barely knew became the person he knew best and the person who knew him best.
He loved you. He loved you so much it hurt. There was no question about it. No I guess, no maybe, no perhaps. He knew. He always did.
But it didn't matter anymore. Because now you're a far distance from him. You're over there while he's over here. Left to sulk in his regrets and stubbornness.
He doesn't wanna feel better. He can't feel better. No one will ever love him like you did. No one will ever love him again. He doesn't wanna get over you, he can't. All he wants to do is go back to cuddling you in bed. He wants to feel better. But that better is only if you're there.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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I wanna be yours
Word count: 0.4k (Levi x reader)
I Wanna Be Yours - Arctic Monkeys
-Summary: All you wanna do is be Levi's and prove your loyalty and devotion towards him. you want him to have you through it all and know you'll always stick around. You wanna be his and want him to be yours.
All you wanted was to be Levi's. You'd do anything for that to be a reality. You wanted to make his life easier in any way possible. You wanted to do anything he asked of you, to be everything he could need. You wanted to be his.
You'd let him make all the choices for you two if it meant you could be by his side through it all.. You'd let yourself support him all the way and never question his judgement if it meant you could be his.
Never once in your life have you ever felt the need to spill every secret you've ever known to one person and to give your all and entire being to them..Never once have you wanted to belong to someone. Never once have you wanted someone to call you theirs. But ever since you met Levi, you've been head over heels, devoted.
All you want in life now is to be the solution to every problem he's ever had and to be the one to hold him when he's cold, sad, lonely..The only way of a perfect life for you is being his and you've accepted that for a while now.
You'd do anything, even sacrifice yourself if it meant he could be happy. You'd go to the extremes to make sure he was guaranteed a safe and happy life. You'd take every burden from him if you could. If he'd let you. If you can't take them entirely then you wanna share them. You want him to know that he isn't alone in this. You want to lighten the load on him as much as you can.
You just wanna be his and want him to know he had your utmost loyalty and respect. To know that you're completely devoted to him. To know you're always there and waiting. To know that nothing he could do would ever make you turn away.
You want to be his and you want him to be yours. It's the only perfect life you could ever imagine.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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I might rewrite this in a different scenario or with Mikasa or Kenny purely for the fact that I LOVE this song. Like goodness this band makes amazing music-
I hate everything about you
Word count: 0.9k (Levi x reader)
I hate everything about you - three days grace
-Summary: Your rivalry is interrupted after you kiss Levi after a drink too much. Now you're left to think about your feelings for the man and stress over the possibly ruined friendship.
You laid awake with the occasional sigh thinking about what had just happened. You might've ruined whatever relationship you had with Levi, the guy you often bickered with and teased. You both weren't together but you couldn't say that there weren't any feelings involved on your side. At first it was more of a partner-enemy relationship but it turned into more. It turned into actual communication towards you both and actual bonding behind your quarrels.
You hated him. You always reminded him of that and the same went towards you. Despite your supposed hatred of each other though was an unbreakable bond that took you both years of partnership and trust to achieve. And yet it feels as if you had broken the bond you had with the idiot in an instant.
You kissed him. You drank a bit too much and thought it'd be fine to shoot your shot. Not even that. You don't know why you did it. You could lay there and try making millions of excuses for it, anything to justify your actions. You could blame it on the alcohol. You could say it meant nothing. But all that would just be a huge lie shoved in his and your face. You knew very well that it wasn't just the alcohol nor was it meaningless. You knew deep down that you cared for him and had feelings for him. But you hate him. You hate everything about him. So why does it hurt so much that he looked at you with pure disgust in his eyes afterwards? Why'd it hurt so much that it broke your shell of toughness and had you running away to your room like an idiot? Why'd it hurt so much that-
"Y/n are you having a nightmare? You're being a bit loud" your roommate asked after hearing your heavy breaths and low sighs. "I'm fine." was the most you could muster. You weren't. You weren't fine at all.
Yet even with all the hurt boiled deep inside you, you don't miss him. You can't bring yourself to. You hate him. You don't love him. You hate him. You don't miss him and there's nothing between you two.
So why do you love him?
Once you were able to fall asleep, it felt like an instant that you were woken up to your roommate with her normal cheeky smile. "Wakey wakey! They've got juice on the menu today" she said ruffling your bed hair. You groaned a bit and clenched your eyes shut. "Hangover? You shouldn't have been drinking on a work night, you know that" she said. You nodded your head in response even though you knew it was a complete lie. If you were having any type of migraine or headache, it'd be because you had to see Levi and confront that what you did was real last night and you could probably never take it back.
You got up and began getting ready as your roommate finished up and left. Once you were alone and left brushing your hair, tears finally began streaming. You dropped the brush and broke into quiet sobs. You'd been holding it in. It's only when you stop to think about it that you know you hate him. You hate everything about him. The only thing you don't know is why you love him. Why you want to get closure to what had happened last night. Why you want to blame the alcohol and go back to your rivalship with him. Go back to normal.
You wanna know what he thinks. You wanna know if he knows he hates you like you know you hate him. You wanna know if he's taken any thoughts of last night. You wanna know just how much he hates you and if he's questioning any untold and kept away feelings like you've been. You doubt it as yesterday's events could've proven he had no romantic interest in you whatsoever but you didn't wanna be the only one with these hot and cold feelings.
You hate everything about him. You love him. You hate him. You don't love him, you hate him. You don't hate him, you love him. Maybe you hate and love him. Maybe its a bit of everything.
You go to the dining hall with your head high to radiate the energy you always did. Only difference now was that you were scared. You were scared about what you'd say or act when you saw Levi. To your utter surprise and relief, he wasn't there. You'd have to sort this out with him sooner or later but for now, you'll just enjoy your breakfast before a long day.
Levi won't though. He skipped breakfast and stayed locked up in his office. He had no idea how to react to any of this. He hated you, sure. But he loved you and unlike you, had no questions about it.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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I hate you, I love you
Word count: 0.5k (Levi x reader)
I hate you, I love you - gnash
-Summary: You hate Levi but you also love him. You wanna get over the relationship you and Levi used to have yet can't put anyone above Levi like how it seems he already has with you.
You laid in bed staring at the ceiling trying to think of anything but Levi. You felt used. Not that you necessarily were but you felt like it. You felt like your love was ran dry and left for the sewers. You felt like total shit without the feeling of Levi's lips against yours and without the warmth his body always offered.
As time goes on, the cycle just repeats. Day by day you sulk in your sorrows of your nearly failed relationship. You aren't sure where you and Levi stand and it's humiliating and just hurts. You want to keep trying and you hope Levi does too but it's the same thing over and over. You both break up and go with other people only to come back to each other.
You hate him but then you love him. You want to hate him, you don't wanna love him. You just can't stop yourself from loving him yet can easily stop hating him and run back into his arms. You don't want this though. You want to move on and stop putting him before everyone yet you can't.
You missed the days Levi would pop up at your door and you'd both have a fun unscheduled date. You never needed to prepare for it, just being around each other was enough. But now it all seems useless as you can only reminisce in memories of it late at night.
You just wanna hold his hand. You just want to hold your breath until you can feel his arms around you again. You can't though. If you did, you'd be holding your breath until your death.
It pains you each time you see him with her. Levi moved on and yet you're just stuck in your own mind. Stuck with forever tears streaming down your face each time you think of him. Sometimes it's like you both never even happened. She took your place yet no one's taken Levi's.
Sometimes you wanna be her. Sometimes you just wanna feel like how you used to with Levi. You wanna feel like how she does each time you watch them from afar. You want his eyes on you like how they are on her. You wanna be the only girl he's ever seen. But each time you get stuck in your fantasies, you're pulled to the harsh reality that he probably never cared to have moved on this fast. It's like he's never given a damn for you or how you feel. Like he never loved you.
It's like he can't even see what he's doing to you. It's like he can't see that each time you see him, you die more and more.
You hate him so much. But you love him. You hate him and you love him. You wanna hate him, you don't wanna love him. You don't hate him, you love him.
He doesn't hate you, he loves you.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Eyes blue like the Atlantic
Word count: 0.2k (Levi x reader)
Eyes Blue Like The Atlantic - Sista Prod
-Summary: Something about Levi's greyish-blue eyes lures you into noticing other wholesome facts about the stoic stone-faced captain
His eyes were sharp and metallic at times yet soft and Atlantic in different lightings. His greyish blue eyes might be the first reason you were pulled towards him. Not only that but his kindness as well. Sure he was blunt at times but he was by far the most empathetic and caring person you had met during this hell joyride of life.
Maybe it was a bit biased and you just held him in a high standard. Maybe you just admired him a lot for his strength and wanted to believe there was more. There could be a hundred excuses as to why certain things about him, such as his eyes fascinated you.
Levi, his name was. Captain of the survey corps. A superiority that everyone respected and downright feared. Someone who could intimidate people twice his size. It was impressive to you. He got such a big name for himself that people tended to ignore the humanity in him.
You couldn't though. You noticed every single bit of it. You knew that behind his cold, uninviting gaze of cloudiness was a man with emotions and with a big heart. By far the biggest one you'd been able to spot.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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It will rain
Word count: 0.4k (Mikasa x reader)
Bruno Mars - It Will Rain
-summary: Without Mikasa, your days would be filled with nothingness. Maybe a bit of rain but definitely the sorrowful and sad kind.
You fell on your bed looking up to the ceiling in joy. You and Mikasa had just had your first date and she even insisted on walking you to your room. You knew love was pointless in this hell bidden world you lived in but just the sight of her could change your mind in an instant. If she ever left you, you don't know what you would do. If she were to leave, it'd take a whole lot of you to accept that you wouldn't have what you had anymore.
Because of that, you're determined to never have her leave you. Nothing could save you if she did. She was the only goddess you knew and the only remedy to any illness you could think of.
You'd sacrifice just about anything for her and all you want is for her to know that. You've already sacrificed your whole mind to her. She could tell you to jump off a cliff and you wouldn't think twice.
Cause sure she was cold and distant but that didn't mean anything to you. It didn't matter if she would choose her best friends over you. It didn't matter what she did. She always had you by her side.
You knew you weren't Armin's favorite. He couldn't even look you in the eye. Eren? Obviously didn't like you very much either. You couldn't blame them either. Initially, you had been a bit pushy for Mikasa's affections and maybe even a bit possessive of her before she was even yours. You were set on changing both their minds though.
You'd pick up every broken piece of their trust and put it back together until your fingers were bleeding. You'd do anything to make it right. Anything to be able to be with Mikasa. You wouldn't dare try ridding her of the two people she's only ever had since childhood. You do want to become someone she can turn to though. Someone all of them can turn to.
In your mind, everything would be pointless, meaningless if she were to leave you now. There wouldn't be any sunlight in sight to comfort you. All there would be is rain. In the sky and in your eyes. Cause Mikasa is your reason now. You didn't have much of one before but now that you do, you don't plan on letting it go. On letting her go.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Sorry I haven't been logged on lately! This drabble is inspired by a song though, so enjoy! <33
Water Fountain
Word count: 0.8k (Levi x reader)
Alec Benjamin - Water Fountain
-Summary: Levi and Y/n are broken up and moving on-
You watched from afar as she pulled Levi closer and as he placed his hands on her hips. She seemed in a rush to touch him. As if he could be taken from her at any moment. At times like these when you get too curious for your own good and watch from afar, you regret not being as eager. Her hurry was a huge contrast to yours. You always made sure to take it slow with Levi, and to be gentle. You made every attempt to make him feel as comfortable as you were in your relationship. Since the day you confessed to him at the water fountain in the back of the headquarters to the numerous dates there. You always took your time. You put his needs over his and made sure never to be greedy or selfish.
Maybe it was jealousy but you hated how she touched him. How he touched her back. How he never showed emotion for her but did for you yet chose her. You knew you both weren't good for each other but he obviously loved you. So why was he pulling her into a kiss? Why was she whispering sweet nothings into his ear? Why was he with her when he should've been with you? Levi was a complicated and stoic man but he'd be lonely without you. He couldn't feel the same things for someone else nor force it. So why was he?
You clenched your shaking fist and began walking away. This wasn't something you should've been witnessing. If he was trying to move on then so should you.
Sometimes you wonder if he ever goes to the water fountain. Sometimes you wonder if he ever goes there and thinks of you. Did he ever think of the many dates and cheesy moments you had there? Did he ever think of you?
You knew it wasn't something you should've been questioning. You had been trying to move on but everything just makes you think of Levi. It didn't matter though, you had to. You had to move on and forget him. And that's why you're back at the fountain with a new guy now. A complete rebound but you wouldn't tell him that.
You looked into the water inside the fountain and turned your head towards the guy behind you. You extended your hand with a fake smile that widened when he grabbed your hand witha. heartfelt smile on his face.
From there you pulled him in. Difference was you fastened your pace now. You weren't going to wait for some feelings to naturally kick in. 'Fake it till you make it' was all you could think.
You had kissed him. It wasn't passionate nor sensual. It was merely the most you could do. It was enough for him though. He obviously didn't expect anything big considering this was your first date after a bit of talking. He probably thought you were taking it slow. Yeah right though, this wasn't slow for you. In fact you hadn't even kissed Levi on your first official date after confessing.
The only thing you could do now was quietly state your sweet nothings hoping they'd become a reality so you wouldn't have to think of him. Of Levi.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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ackermansimper · 2 years ago
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Hello you said you were doing drabbles so here's an idea. Levi and yn teasing each other?
Thanks for requesting! Hope you enjoy <33
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Levi and reader teasing each other
You and Levi had been comrades for a while already and were familiar with each other. You were an assistant to the military police's commander, Nile Dok. You both never really interacted unless you were in a situation to like meetings or on the training grounds. Eventually you two sorta became friends though. Not really close but still comfortable enough to joke around and have normal conversation.
It all had started when you were out of your head bored in a meeting and looked to your side to see the captain. He looked bored too but also still attentive to whatever Nile and Erwin were conversating about. It wasn't the first time Levi had caught your attention but you never really thought to try talking to him until then. You simply put your elbow on the table and your chin in your hand while looking at him and began speaking to him. To your surprise, it wasn't too hard to pull him out of whatever attention he was giving to the commanders as their debating didn't really influence you two at the moment. From that day forward, you were somewhat friends and talked whenever you could.
Granted, you both barely saw each other since you both weren't in the same military branch. And at this point in time, it had been long since you two spoke. In fact, it was over a month since you both had time to speak. You all were barely scheduled for a meeting today and Levi was the only thing you ever really looked forward to at these meetings.
You happily followed Nile down the hall of the brigades HQ as that's where the meeting was scheduled. You were happy to finally be able to talk with one of the few people you considered your friend. Once you both made it you opened the door for Nile. He quickly stepped in and tilted his head for you to follow which you did. He sat near the end of the table where Pixis was sitting and you took the subjective of sitting next to Levi, giving him a smile before doing so. Not everyone was there so you decided to start talking to Levi now instead of in the middle of the meeting where you two would usually get snapped back to attention with a small scolding from your commander to stop flirting.
"Long time, no see captain?" you said, starting the conversation off. "Yeah. I was waiting for a letter or something but figured you were busy taking a big shit" Levi replied looking towards you. You chuckled a bit before speaking again. "Well next time just send the letter first. Don't see why you have to be so shy all the time"
Levi rolled his eyes before flicking you. "I've got more guts than you" you narrowed your eyes with a smirk. "Well then I've got more vocals than you. I've been practicing my singing" you said proudly knowing you sounded terrible when you sung. "I'd like to hear an abomination like that one day" he said leaning back in his chair. "Yeah well I figured you'd want me to serenade you" You copied his movement and leaned back. "With what? Your screaming excuse for singing?" he asked leaning a bit closer towards you. "You'd love to hear me scream, wouldn't you?" you said leaning even closer to him.
"Lean any closer and we'll be witnessing a make out session. Now Y/n, get the documents I've asked for twice already. the ones I gave you to hold onto yesterday?" Nile said with his eyes flickering to you before going back to Erwin. You pouted a bit and began rummaging through your bag for the documents he was asking for. Once you found them you took them out and held them out for him. "This what you want?" you asked with a less than bored tone. "Yeah thanks. You can go back to your romance banter or whatever.." he said side eyeing you before putting the documents between him and Erwin and turning to Pixis. You had no idea what they were on about and weren't exactly pleased to have your time with Levi interrupted for some papers.
You turned back to him though and continued. You definitely had to send him a letter after this. That way you two could speak without being interrupted.
♥ Thank you for reading ♥
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Requests are open in case anyone wants to request anything, hope you enjoyed!!
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