acollectionofdifferentthings

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Auto asphyxiations.

Do we really enjoy starving ourselves of the connection with other people and other places or does it manifest something sinister inside of ourselves? Are we really helping ourselves and the people around us by breeding an incestuous mind-set between who we converse with and only ever surrounding ourselves with people who are like minded? Are we really helping to bring up open minded children with only ever giving them one thing to work with and shunning the rest into oblivion almost as if you believe these other things you are not a human anymore? By cutting off all connection with other people we are starving ourselves of the diverse nature that a human mind craves, we need to be thinking about things and doubting if what we actually believe in life is really the only way and even the right way to begin with. Passing on lessons to our own offspring needs to be done with extreme care. If we start to skew their minds in the same way that we think then we will only pass on the bad behaviour and the disconnection that we have with the other parts of the world around us. There comes no benefit trying to deny the rights of other people and there is no point trying to live a life without ever being in contact with them. The more we starve ourselves of these connections the further we set out own thoughts in stone and the greater the divide will become between the people you surround yourself with and every single other person. We need to bring back the oxygen into our lives and breath new air, seek new insights, views and learn about all people and what they have to say directly from them in person. We need to develop in person connection to other people as we converse with them as it creates a far better understanding of them as a person and where they have come from compared to just being told from somebody else or over the internet where we will never be able to capture the full essence of someone and we will always fill up the blank space with our own negative bias that we already have.  Open up our minds to new people and new ways to look at things as that is how you begin to pass on an open-minded nature to your offspring and to all of the people around you. Stop thinking so one dimensional and start to expand your own perception on things. The more you starve yourself of these experiences the more you begin to bottleneck every piece into your life into being absolutely nothing in the end except for a small ball of hatred towards every except for yourself.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Bully/ied.

This is a cycle, it is passed down and passed through each person that it impacts and each person usually keeps this cycle going, knowingly or not, just to try and transfer some of that sadness, that hate and that anger onto someone else to relieve the pressure from what they are suffering inside of who they are which has been passed onto them from someone else. Becoming a bully is something that is conditioned into who you are, it is taught by force and learned by taking every single one of those beatings in every way possible. To become a master at it then you need to keep practicing it like anything else, you want to make other people feel like they are worthless, feel terrible about themselves and that they are under the thumb because that is exactly how you felt when you were learning and being taught. We think that if we do not pass on these feelings to other people in the form of these punishments then we will not have enough room to handle how we are being treated at home or somewhere by the people who are supposed to be caring for us. So often this cycle continues because it is the only way to handle what is going on, the bully is so often also the bullied as it is a dominance hierarchy and only continues to get worse as each person gets older. Eventually the bully stops being bullied and they are now at the top of this pyramid, able to do as they please and finally not having to deal with being bullied themselves. By this point though they are usually so broken that no amount of love or repair will be able to fix what has been done to them throughout their entire life, they are a bully for good now and they enjoy it because they have finally got to the place that they dreamed of getting when they were younger. We need to break this cycle though; we need a way to show people that spreading this hate, this anger, this sadness of who we are does not actually help us feel any better. We cannot convince ourselves that the transfer of our feelings to others actually relieves any tension, it just creates these same feelings in the minds of more people and it spreads the cycle to start continuing in the lives of other people.  We must learn to instead spread happiness, love, respect and consideration for other people because just as hate is developed by transfer so too can these feelings be passed on to other people by being nice to them and showing that you care. This emotion is so much more powerful and beneficial for other people and helping to realise that nobody deserves to feel worthless in life and making it our mission to make sure that people do not feel so terrible is something that we should all be working towards. We should not be so one sided though, we need to realise that so often this bully that we hate is also feeling the same about somebody else, sometimes they do not even realise that they are the bully and they have just been conditioned to think that this is how life works for them. These bullies are broken and they think that getting pieces of other people will help them to feel whole again but it never does, these bullies are still human beings, they still deserve care and support and to be shown love, especially since they have been so deprived of these feelings for much of their life. We need to make it our mission to stop bullying, stop making other people feel worse just for the sake of it and stop finding false, empty satisfaction from bringing other people down to the level that we are at just because we feel sorry for ourselves. Being a bully does not get you anywhere in life, it fuels hate towards you and turns you into somebody who nobody wants to spend time with so work on trying to be a better person by not bringing other people down and instead try to bring yourself up so you can greet them at a much healthier level.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Prolonging the inevitable.

We may think that we are saving the other person grief, worry and pain by not telling them something straight away. We may think it is better to wait until it may not bother them anymore or wait for that perfect moment when everything is going well, but not too well; and nothing can be going wrong for them. We don’t want to upset their good mood or also bring them down even lower than they already are at the moment, we need to make sure that they have been okay for a while so it does not all come back to them; but then if wait until they are good for too long then we don’t want to spoil that streak. Sometimes they are not in a good mood for days and we want them to be happy always because we care about them, we want the best for them. Deep down we really think it is the best decision to keep waiting to tell them about this very important and upsetting and piece of information that we know but they do not. We are trying to save ourselves the hassle though as we don’t know if we can do this to them; we don’t know if we can see them absolutely broken like their entire world has been torn apart. The longer this all goes on the harder it is progressively going to gets to tell them because now it is going to look bad on our behalf also. We have now waited weeks or even months sometimes to let it out to them, they deserve to know though as they are such a great person and I don’t want to be the one to wreck their life. What if somebody else tells them though? What if it is not me? Then I won’t have to be the one that brings the bad news to them, what if they ask me if I knew after all this time though? Do I lie to them or do I admit that I have known?  Then it will be even worse for me as I am this close to them and I have been hiding a lie from them. I also would not be the one that ended up telling them first, what kind of person even am I then? Maybe if I make a big group of all the people that know and we all promise not to tell the person so they can never find out because if they do they will end up hating all of us, they will be so hurt and even worse because it will hit them like a ton of bricks. If they never find out though then they will never feel bad and can still keep being the happy person that they are and they would never have known that we all know. If they do find out though and they learn that their closest friends have all betrayed their trust and hidden such a big secret from them actively then that is going to crush them even more. Does this sound all too familiar? Something that is a regular occurrence among so many people throughout their lives, they start off with this immense care almost too much for them to handle and too much for their own good. Over time as they are trying to be a great friend and save their friend from feeling so terrible they end up changing sides. They end up actively creating a negative environment for their friend, they are becoming the villain in their own story they are writing and only adding to the inevitable pain that this friend is going to go through. They are going to find out; the lie always comes out. You cannot stop the inevitable form happening and the more that you do the worse the flood will end up becoming when it breaks the dam. There is never going to be a perfect time to let the person know so stop searching for it, just present them with the facts and the sooner you do that in relation to the situation that has happened the better it truly it is going to be for everyone. You don’t make yourself an accessory to the situation, learn to be honest and you will remain trusted and you are able to help this person through this tough time. It is always going to be a tough time in these situations and there is no getting out unscathed.  There is no getting away from it, stop trying to build this perfect world and situation where that is the only circumstance that you will tell them in. Be the even better friend than everyone else and just be honest with yourself and with them, tell them straight away. We already know that there is no easy way to take the bandage off but it is going to have to come off at some point.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

10,000 hours?

Becoming a master in something is not the same as it once was. As we continue to push the boundaries of highly specialised practice, research, development and teaching of subjects to many people who are interested in learning and gaining insight, we are forever extending the period of time that it takes for people to get to this same level of knowledge so that they can also play a role in the progress. As the branches for each profession continue to grow longer they continue to also grow thinner and this means that if you want to become an expert in a certain area the amount of training needed cannot be as diverse anymore. Being up to date and specialising in multiple fields would just take too long now, we need people to focus on one area and push the boundaries so that the breakthroughs can keep coming or else they will slowly dry up. New research and studies are continually being published and conducted and to have any chance of being able to help keep the momentum going you must be on-top of the research coming out and also on the integration of the new findings with what you are working on. For people in society today the interest is just not there as much anymore, the amount of negatives are building up at a steady rate and soon they are going to outweigh the positives that come from years of study and learning. Because the time needed is ever increasing and the specialisation is becoming bottlenecked, the appeal of putting aside this much of your life to go into debt, to be under immense stress and to see little to no support and appreciation for what you are doing is a risk that is being taken less and less. The problem is the fact that the immense value and options that used to come from people going through higher education is not as prominent anymore; people are dedicating themselves to something and then not using it again for most of their life.  The value needs to be flushed back into all of these systems so that it helps people to feel supported, appreciated and truly valued again for what they are doing. We must pour back in resources and the dire need for people to be on board with the progress and expansion of these vital areas of research and development because that is how we push the boundaries and keep discovering all that there is to find throughout the world. The spark needs to be reignited because as we further specialise in these areas we are going to need more and more people feeding into these professions who can take on their own specific branch of research because it tends to be the more that we find out the more branches seem to grow off of these discoveries. We are going to hit a wall and stagnant abruptly at some point as over time the less people that are interested is going to grow and the more people that we need learning about these specifics are going to increase. We are going to see an even greater divide into the future if we cannot mend these pathways and inspire people to learn again, to discover, to teach themselves and others, to be interested in what it takes to become a master and really show themselves how capable they are in life. The only way we can do this is by keeping as many doors open a possible, instead of closing these doors behind us we must learn to leave them open and widen the entrance ways so that people feel welcome and comfortable to come in. We must provide support for them in as many areas as we can while they are undertaking such ventures and helping them when they are struggling because each person is significant and valuable and it is about helping each of them see that in whom they are. We are not investing in the future as we should be, the amount of potential waiting to be unlocked is monumental and by not changing our ways we are going to be letting them down, ourselves down and also the world down.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Scaredy-cat.

I am scared of nearly everything, there is not much in life that isn’t scary or intimidating at one time or another; I think you would be lying if you said otherwise. I am scared if I am ever going to do anything with my life, if I am ever going to be good enough for the people that I care for and good enough for myself at any point; I am scared to think about if I will ever be able to make any kind of difference for where the world is going and if my own impact can even do anything at all. How can someone even operate with this level of uncertainty and fear? If you are not petrified of what the world is and has within it then what parts are you ignoring? It seems impossible to deny how debilitating and stressful the world is at the moment and will end up becoming without change. The amounts of pressure put on every single person to perform and continue to perform at such standards and to keep up the act day in and day out is astounding. I still don’t really know how any of us are doing it, it feels like our world is slowly coming to an end and yet we still want to deny that our fear has any real substance. We seem to be moving through life without really addressing the main problems that are plaguing all of us; we have been driven to never admit how full of fear we all are because society has made being scared a weakness. We don’t want to admit our fears, what keeps us up at night, because we think we will be treated differently. We treat people differently now for expressing how they feel inside, we bring them down and alienate them for speaking about something that we are all feeling the same about. At what point can we end up looking fear in the face and not feel obliged to cover our eyes or look the other way? When can we all learn to embrace the fear that we live in instead of saying there is none? When can we come to realise that fear is always going to be here, it is a part of the lives that we have created for ourselves and the world? Fear has different levels though, the most extreme have to be addressed for us to build a happier world. People cannot be exposed to what they are and have been anymore; we need to fix the environments of war, terror and violence so that the minds of these people witnessing it are not changed forever.  We need some fear though, we need the ones that drive us to become better within ourselves because we are afraid of whom we will be if we don’t make the effort; but other fears need to be rid of the world forever. Places of death and destruction need to be helped by all of the world to become healthier and be able to find peace in every place, the people who are experiencing the most awful lifetimes of fear will never grow to be who they can be and they will be controlled by their fear at every turn. This is not a healthy environment for these people and it will never promote a healthy amount of fear so people can eventually thrive in their own lives. We should never have to let fear control every decision that we make and the fact that we have created places like this for families and people to live in is one of our many mistakes that we have to work on fixing immediately. If we are not able to admit to ourselves that we are the most scared people that we know in our own lives then we are probably not fully facing what we need to be. Only you know yourself inside and out, you know your deepest, darkest secrets, if you are not able to surround yourself with those fears then you will never be able to work through them and live with who you are. You will bury them so deep and keep telling yourself that you can be strong an eventually maybe you will be but at what cost? How long will it take before those skeletons you have buried eventually rise to the top with enough movement in your life? Everything eventually catches up to you, we have to mend society so that people can feel comfortable with admitting what they are afraid of and let others know that it is okay to do the same.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Reduce, reuse, recycle.

Are we ever actually exploring and thinking about new possible approaches and ways in which to do things or are we always just recycling the old? Have we just learnt to be extremely good at recall and we are not truly thinking for ourselves anymore? How do we even think about creating the new if all we can think about right now is things that have already been said, done and recreated numerous times? How can we produce something entirely new and original out of the old, is it even possible now? It is like the challenge of trying to think of a new colour, it is nearly impossible because all you can think about are colours that have already been made and mixed together long ago. How many original thoughts do we all get in life, are any of our thoughts things that have never been considered before? Are we ever really pondering questions that have not been thought about or are we just another link in a long chain of fluid thought? Does something still count as a new creation if every single part of it has already been created before, is that now entirely new or just the next phase in a line of continuation? How do we lean to think for ourselves if we have been flooded with information on everything, how easy is it to now become content with just learning from somebody or something else instead of thinking for ourselves? Finding the answers and answering them ourselves is now two very different things and we have almost made one completely impossible to do. How do we get back to completely new thought, would we have to wipe our minds clear of anything that has been there before and then see what we can comprehend and think of? Is something new even if we don’t realise somebody has thought of it before, like two parallel lines that never touch? Are we eventually coming to the same realisations and having the same epiphanies that people are having in the present and were having 100s of years ago? Whether we can still come up with original ideas or not, it is very important for people to still be learning things, to coming to conclusions on their own despite if other people have already been through that in life. It shows that even though we are a part of one species, each of us is separate in our own thoughts. We need to be able to realise and learn new and different things as our lives progress or else progress will be minimal in life; it shows that even if one person did know everything it would not be enough to change the way in which everyone thinks. So many inspiring thoughts, healthy ways of life, better ways of thinking and unbelievable creativity have been around for a very long time but it does not mean that everyone starts off from that place. Each person is an individual; they have to learn for themselves and from other people. Recycling these thoughts and these ways of life is the best way for people to keep improving and moving forward with what they want to do. We may never have a new thought again, we may have used up all of the originality in the world already and we are just reusing old ideas and turning them into something slightly different. Maybe we are at the end of the rope with the new or maybe we can just tie another rope onto our end and keep moving with it into the unknown. These new products made from the old ones are still a new creation, each tweak is something that has not been done before and these tweaks can produce an impact never before seen by the first design. Each person needs to have these different thoughts because for them they are entirely new and it is the first time that they are in their head so who is to say that they have not come up with them on their own? We need to understand that each person starts from no knowledge at all, life should be about constant learning and it should not matter if it has been done before or not. Each person deserves to have enough insight and information to come up with things on their own and expand their own minds.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Project MKUltra.

When I snap my fingers you will… It has always been about mind control, it has never stopped since it has started and if you are unaware of that then you are playing into the hands of the ones trying to master the art of it perfectly. Having control of the mind means control of the people and the more people that we understand then the more people that we have power over. Gaining information, insight, knowledge and mass data on people is the best possible way to create links and folders on every single person on the planet. We need this information because the only way to separate people from others, the changeable with the unchangeable is by having as many data points as possible. To streamline something we first have to start with something bigger and we need our sample sizes to be the entire planet because more is better, because more is development, interest and money. It will shroud itself under the covers, in secrecy and wear many disguises but in the end it always goes back to mind control. How can we best predict what people are going to do, how can we understand the human mind and form a template on what makes it tick and what are the most common traits in each person? The more that we understand, the more strings that we have on the beast, means the more that we can control it and move it in any way that we please. Mind control is such a cold word though we must use other words instead of it so it does not sound as sharp coming off the tongue, we must build entire industries to bring the focus onto something else entirely because while you are looking over here we will be taking what we actually want from somewhere else and it will be from where you least expect it. We know the art of seduction, we know how to entice you and pull you in, we understand your desires but we don’t know what to do as much when we have you here. We are the master of pickpocketing, we know what to take, where you keep it hidden, how to get it but we just do not know why it is sometimes in a different place for certain people. We know why we should be stealing it, we know its value, we know what it can do to people if we can harness it properly but if we cannot universalise it then what is the point?  Are there even universal rules that your brain is following or is each person wired differently from the next? We cannot create something that is individual specific because that would take too much tinkering, we need a one size fits all approach but is that possible? What is holding the pieces together that we are stealing from you and how can you control it when it is with you but we cannot when we have taken it away? Are we stealing the wrong thing, are we focusing on the wrong pieces of the puzzle and the pieces that we do get are not creating the form that we want? If we are looking in the wrong place then that may explain why we are still searching for answers on the same questions that we have had for decades. We are gaining information after something has been done because that is the only time that the intent shows itself, we are not always understanding the process that is happening before and what is pushing someone to do a certain thing that we may think is predictable or not. We can develop something that can be simple and control the necessities of someone like when they need to be doing things that are fundamental to living but that is already known, we need to be able to predict the unpredictable for each person because only then will we have mastered mind control over people. Until we get past this last step, mind control is going to continue to be prevalent and it eventually may be phased in so quietly that we don’t even realise the difference when we stop thinking for ourselves and start becoming decided on every decision immediately.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

The difference.

I was on a search to be different from other people around me, It is not that I didn’t what they were doing I just knew that I didn’t really feel exactly the same about those kinds of things. I felt like other people were trying to get away from themselves, get out of their own head and find a new place to be for the night. I was the opposite, I was still trying to find who I wanted to be and a jump in that other direction was never going to put in a better place than before. I felt like that journey in search of who I was took a while, it went through calm and story times but once I ended up getting out I did not have much interest in getting away from myself again. In trying to be different I ended up being different because I don’t want to get out of my own head now, I am happy where I am and I don’t feel the need to feel something different or a feeling of taking steps back in life. Finding yourself is always going to come with trial and error and once you are happy with whom you are try not to sway from that for anyone or anything. The more content that we become with ourselves the happier we end up being in our own skin and that is really something to get used to as we are never going to get out of that until we reach the close. If we can become comfortable with whom we are and hold up our values then that is really worth something in life. Staying true to yourself is something that only you know if you are doing or not, nobody truly knows what your exact values are inside of yourself and if you are keeping to them or not. If you do not keep yourself to a certain standard in life then how can you ever expect other people too? If you see yourself doing different things on different occasions that are all not like you to do then you are not holding yourself to your standard, you are holding yourself to other people’s standards and you are forever going to be a party trick for them to pull out instead of you. Each person is always going to be able to do as they please with their own lives, regardless if it is beneficial or not to them. It is hopefully going to be something that they are ultimately choosing to do for themselves and we always have to respect that. There has to maintain a level of respect for all people with what they choose to do with themselves as long as it is not hurting other people, a lot of the time the difference is made the outcast. The different is just something that you are not used to doing, it should not be seen in a negative or a positive light but just something for people to express who they are and all people deserve to be able to do that for them.  

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Ask yourself again.

If you are always finding yourself going in circles with the same questions inside yourself it might be time for you to start making some changes for yourself in life. You need to work through why these same questions are continuing to come up all of the time and find the cause of them instead of trying to push them down or sweep them away with other things that you are doing. There is going to be no way to get something out of your mind until you solve it so stop putting it off and begin to address it. The problem is that we are afraid to address the root of the problems because we don’t know what we will end up finding there. The unknown is always going to be scarier than the known so we choose to avoid the problem and instead pile as much as we can on top to try and hide it from ourselves. We don’t understand though that the problem is us, it is inside of who we are and there is no avoiding that and there is no way to cover it up. We have to interrogate ourselves and go through all of the things in our own life despite if we are happy with them or not; as emptiness and unhappiness can be inside of anything in our lives even if we don’t know it. We need to ask ourselves if we are happy with what we are doing in life, are we happy with where we are headed, are there better things that we could be doing with our time and ourselves, are we trying to avoid certain situations because we are embarrassed of our past or are we trying to avoid certain people because we have burnt bridges with them instead of mending them. We need to find out what things make us uneasy, uncomfortable and unhappy to face head on and then once we find them we need to figure out what the reasons are for it. It is going to be an utter waste of our own lives if we continue to go in these circles every single week and never address what is making us feel so useless in life. Once we have found what the problems are then we need to start making the changes necessary to fix them and that may mean some serious changes in our lives but we need to be confident in ourselves that we are changing our lives for the better and know that staying the same, questioning ourselves every moment was never going to lead us to a fulfilling life.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Maybe it is us.

It has become so easy to blame the easiest possible options in life, the majority of the time though these easy options never seem to be ourselves. They are really not limited to anything else though; we have learnt to blame even the most trivial things on something else rather than just taking it on the chin and moving on. At some point we must end up realising that is not all of these other things that are the problem but maybe on the off chance it is actually ourselves. Maybe that is actually okay though, it is human nature to have problems and make mistakes; but we have adopted a new strategy to counter it which is never actually learning from what we are doing wrong and we seem to be making that a human quality now also. As we never actually blame ourselves, we never learn to make the changes needed to make up for our past mistakes and so we never learn that this learning and changing is how we should all be going through life. If we take things for granted then we are going to constantly be falling for all things. We cannot just complain about something one day and then the next we are doing exactly the same thing that we had complained about previously. We seem to have no interest in learning and making changes for our lifestyle that will benefit us and we don’t have the interest because we fail to see that we have any problems in the first place. The more that we continue to blame other things the better we end up becoming at denial to ourselves of what is actually bothering us. We are so eager to follow suit with everyone else that we neglect the fact of considering if things are going to be good for us in the long run, we jump the gun on many things in life and yet we only have ourselves to blame.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

The message.

You are so golden, so full of potential, so full of life and you can really make this one chance we all get worth it for yourself and all of the people around you. Hold yourself in the highest regard and never let who you have been, dictate who you are right now and who you will be in the future. Learn to love yourself for who you are and who you will become with the work, effort and time you will put in to see your goals accomplished. Treat yourself with respect and with the belief that you can make things happen, regardless of the mountains that you have to climb to get there.  Nobody else can make the same difference or improvements for yourself that you can; it is going to take you finally standing up and wanting change to bring it about. Give yourself grace and time to learn, improvement takes time and you have so much of it, so don’t weigh yourself down by short term expectations that are unmatchable short. Learn to make peace with your demons, learn to live with them and embrace them as parts of yourself instead of parts that you are trying to avoid. Recognise how capable and talented you are and go after the things that you want to do for yourself in life, make smart decisions and put your mental and physical health first before all things. Change for yourself, not others, and make sure that you are valuing who you are as a person and not letting other people control how you feel, who you are and what you do with yourself. Know that you are truly worth it and that you don’t have to settle for anything less than somebody just as amazing as yourself. Be conscious of your shortfalls though; make sure you are working on becoming more balanced and well-rounded slowly every single day. Life does not have to be as hard, as stressful and as complicated as we all make it; we need to keep taking steps back now and again to make sure we are getting our mind right and refocusing on the most important things, not taking in all of the background noise. Don’t compare yourself to other people, you are going about your journey just as they are and it is never a worthy measure. Some things in life will not always work out though and many of these things will be forever out of your own control, it works best not to dwell on these experiences and to just focus on all of the situations that you can be in control of and make sure you execute those to the best of your own ability. The best is all that you can ever do, as long as you know you are putting your best foot forward then don’t be so harsh towards yourself when that still may not be good enough for people. We are all on different levels; we all have different expectations from ourselves and from others and the levels of effort and commitment will always be in constant fluctuation. Make sure you find somebody who is on a similar level with you in life; it will bring greater enjoyment and more room for you both to flourish instead of having to play catch or wait for something that may never happen. You are always going to be just who you are, regardless of how much you drop or how much you improve each day of your life, you are still in your own skin. Take care of your body and your mind and always put yourself first, that does not mean that you cannot also put others with you but it means that nobody can ever become more important than yourself in your own life. There is no point ever repeating the same bad situation twice so learn from the first one and learn to make a better decision next time. Make decisions based off of what you value, what you are interested in and where you want to see yourself going, not because of what other people want from you or want to see you do. You have the power over your own life and nobody else’s, just as other people have the same, so don’t let people who don’t want the best for you interfere with what you are doing and bring you down. We need to start investing in ourselves and bring about a world that values all people and all healthy decisions. We cannot keep voting in a world full of restrictions and unequal rights. People have the power over their own bodies and minds and every single other person has to learn to respect that instead of trying to control it. Let them control what they can and we will control what we can. We need happiness to be the value that gets passed around, not hate and disconnection. Fall in love with yourself and your life each day and find the little things just as beautiful as the big things. Enjoy in all places that you can and learn to find the benefit even in the hard times where you struggle. Each day is yours to control and you are worth it, you are worth it for your friends, your family, your partner/s, your ambitions and aspirations and you are most of all worth it for yourself.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Nothing personal, just business.

If I was going to put myself in the shoes of a mental illness I know I would be doing everything in my power to make sure that  I feel helpless, unmotivated, full of doubt in myself and unhappy with what I want to do, feeling alone and broken. I know I would be trying my best to make sure that I did not have motivation to work on myself, to pick myself out of bed each morning and to see people who I would usually love to see. I know I would try to convince myself that this is just my life now, that I am destined for this constant pit of despair and there is really no way out for me so either I just accept this as the new normal or I stop suffering all together. I know I would be playing games with myself, teasing myself with glimpses of a better life but ultimately crushing me down even further than I was before just for that personal bit of satisfaction I would get from seeing the hope stream out of my eyes each time. I know I would want to keep myself on my toes at all times, forever overthinking the smallest of things, anxious about what comes next, stressed about every day and on edge thinking that nobody else wants me here. I am just doing my job though, as a mental illness I am just here to make sure I tick off my own checklist and make sure my person is feeling this terrible about themselves because I am in control and I get to make the rules for this person because they are powerless to stop me, it is nothing personal, just business. In putting myself in the shoes of how a mental illness would think though I came to realise that the thoughts that I was constantly feeling in my own head were exactly as I just described and it dawned on me that I had told myself over and over that this is me doing this to myself, these thoughts are my own but really they were not at all. They had come from an illness inside of my mind, they had been developed and had come to control how I thought and I was not in control at all anymore. Understanding the job that mental illness had inside of me meant that I could work through reassuring myself that these thoughts were not truly my own, I was not in a healthy headspace to be listening to myself and I should be pushing back against these thoughts or self-doubt, self-hate and just never being able to see purpose in anything that I was doing no matter how good it was. These thoughts were being fed to me and the only way I could improve was to do the opposite of what they were telling me to do, I needed to keep moving forward, keep going, keep learning, learn to swallow the doubt and see people who I enjoyed seeing, do things I knew I liked doing and make sure that I was looking after myself in the best possible way that I could as I could not let this corruption, this illness win. Too many people give up on themselves because they truly think that they are just unworthy to ever be repaired, to ever get better and they think that they this is their own voice dictating what they do but they don’t see that they are being driven towards this destruction and they actually have no say in the matter. Do not give up on yourself so early, realise that this illness is not you and it is not how your life will be forever; work to find that bit of courage to push back and get a bit of leverage by doing the things that you think are impossible. Start slowly and work your way up through doing small things and ask for help whenever you possibly can, your life is so precious and never think otherwise because then you are ticking off the final box that your mental illness has to tick off before its job is complete. Until that last box is ticked off there is always going to be hope for you, support and other people are here and they want to see you get through everything that is going on. You may not see it but so much of the world is behind you and wants to see you happier again, we just find it hard to say it all of the time but don’t lose hope.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

A new pandemic.

We may just be in the best possible state that this planet has ever experienced, people are thriving, we are making advancements in so many areas, we are finding solutions to problems that we have had for a very long time and it seems to all be on the up and up for so many places which is so positive for the people that live there. We are on the ball with new illnesses that come up, we are curing diseases and researching ways to push these positive changes for the places that we live in. Not all places around the world are getting the same care though, not all places are going through this same level of development and advancement, not all places around the world are on the up and up. The fact that these differences and problems are not getting addressed with enough attention and urgency shows that we may be at a very peaceful point in the present compared to the rest of history but it is an unhealthy peace, it is a peace that is trying to shroud sickness, death, poverty, gaps in rights, gender, race and religion and it is pushing our mess into the wardrobe and underneath the bed and saying that we have cleaned the room and everything is in the right place; but it is not. We have skeletons in the closet and there are many of them, on the outside we may be looking like the best versions of ourselves but the amount of pain, suffering, inequality and disgusting behaviour on so many levels by so many places is still so widespread and shows that we may just be experiencing a brand new pandemic and one that the world is failing to fully address. What is this new shiny coated exterior on the planet trying to prove, who are we trying to show off too? We have nobody else to compare to except ourselves and our pasts selves cannot even express their displeasure at our lies and corruption. We do not have to act like we are at peace just because certain places are, we are reflections of not only ourselves but also of all the other people on this planet and if we are thriving while other people are not then we are never going to be the best versions of ourselves. We are skewing the data and making it look pretty towards one direction, we need to take off our rose tinted glasses and address the elephant in the room which is entire countries are suffering at the hands of widespread disaster through poverty, illness, corruption and exhaustion of resources and work through near extortion by other countries. This is not just their people’s problems anymore, this is not just their countries problem, if we can do something about it then it is also on us. If the governments in the countries of those who are supposedly thriving continue to not take action on these problems, if the people in these countries continue to live in denial because it is not our problem and not our fight then we are actively contributing to the spread and continuation of this pandemic that is spreading throughout the world. We can take control of these problems, they are not too far gone, they are not irreversible but the longer that we refuse to act, the longer that we stop looking in the right direction it will only cause the spread of this new illness to all places and have no way to be cured. Certain countries may never get the full range of illness that the pandemic brings but all it has to do is just let the people know that they failed to make a difference when they had all the options, all the time and all the resources to help the world come into a place of true peace, not one that is unhealthy and if it does this then it has done its job perfectly.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Who am I?

I have long hair, I always make sure that my uniform is looking tidy before I go to school and I enjoy drama class and seeing my friends the most. I usually sleep in most mornings and it is always a rush to get ready for my day, I like to keep up to date with my favourite news and celebrities and I enjoy cooking and reading in my spare time. I am not that into sports but I enjoy dancing whenever I can and looking after my pets, who am I?

My hair is brown, I work part time while I am studying and I am struggling quite a lot trying to keep a balance in my life. I look forward to when I am finished the semester and then I can relax and get back into my drawing and writing. I enjoy watching and playing sports and it is always fun to talk about what has happened in each game with my friends. I like going for a drink in the weekend and every so often going out to town in the clubs. Who am I?

I am constantly working, trying to stay afloat with me and my child. I am working two different jobs, juggling school runs with my work hours and trying to have enough free time to see my kid also. I want to be able to provide the best possible life and best opportunities for my offspring and if that means me sacrificing parts of my own life for my child’s greater enjoyment then that is always going to be worth it. I once had enormous dreams of making it as a dancer but that is long ago now and I have more important things to be focusing on. I love to cook so at least I can still do something I want to do that is practical and helps with us both eating good meals each day. Who am I?

I run my own business, my partner works full time at a restaurant and I stay at home as a web designer. We have no children yet but plan on it at some point, we like to be together as much as possible and always find time to go on dates and have nice dinners. We are planning a trip overseas and will hopefully be able to visit some amazing sites around the world. We really cannot wait to spend the rest of our lives together and make the most of every moment that we share, I couldn’t think of a better person to spend my life with. Who am I?

You are not supposed to be able to figure out who these people are and you never will, you won’t be able to work out any finer details about them from what they have revealed and it shows how alike we really are to so many other people when we don’t see certain aspects that cloud what we think of them. Judging somebody on whom they are, what they look like, what religion or political party they support and what their world views are really clouds us to see this person as somebody who is so similar to us in the most fundamental ways. We need to learn to love each part of a person and not become biased in our opinion of them when we do not even know them yet. Gender, religion, ethnicity and sexual preference among so many other things constantly get in the way of us seeing the bigger picture and how wonderful so many people are. We need to stop focusing on things that people cannot control and things that should not cloud our judgement of them and start treating them with respect and love for who they are.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

Data sells.

We are the test group, we are the people who are willingly giving the data to companies in which they can sell and pass on for studies, research and sales. We are the lab rats, clicking on things, looking at advertisements, commenting about certain topics; we are the ones who are giving our precious information to companies who can then profit off of us. We are being taken advantage of by companies who are easing themselves into our lives, taking information of our own and passing it on to people who are interested. They are taking what we enjoy in life, what we like to buy, look at, talk about and who we want to be. They want to be able to keep appealing to our shallow impulses and desires and we are individually lying on a platter for them to just take any parts of us that they want. We are still so far behind as a society that we have yet to put a value on our own preferences, these companies are so far ahead of us that we didn’t even realise that our own minds and our own data could be sold to people. We have been marketing ourselves through these platforms for free, some of the time we are even paying companies to take our own data from us. We have becomes the first trial subjects in a long term study of the extended impact of social media on the brains of people, we have signed ourselves up to be another number in the studies that will continue to come out for many decades. We have gained connection from these platforms but the companies themselves have gained so much more, they have an insight now into all people who are using their website. They have every click, every keystroke and every single bit of information needed to create a portfolio on all of you. We have let ourselves down on this front; we played right into the hands of the scientists and have done exactly what they expected of us. We have taken the bait and taken a bite at every single little piece dangled in front of us as we constantly must have the new, the new apps and the new updates. We fit the mould perfectly when following the proposed hypothesis, we are so far behind on what these companies are trying to do that we don’t even realise how valuable each and every single one of was until it becomes too late. We have turned ourselves off private and opened ourselves up to a world online that has manipulated us into doing exactly what they want. It becomes an eye opening comparison when we realise how honest and ourselves we are online, when we think nobody else is watching, but really what we do and what we say is being recorded and all of our data archived. When comparing to how we are in the real world, outside of the restraints of the online, we are almost all different people. We are afraid to show what we are like, who we are, what we like and dislike and we wrap up all parts of ourselves so tightly that nobody can see who we really are. We have convinced ourselves that in the real world all people are paying attention to us, so we pay the most attention to ourselves, making sure we look and are okay. We spend so much time on ourselves that we don’t even focus on others and I would say that is what happens to nearly all people in the real world. Online we think nobody is watching but really they are where as in real life we think everyone is watching but really they are not. We have come to this false realisation that because we are all behind a screen nobody will know anything about us, but as long as our data sells then there will always be people watching.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

The individual.

Each person is their own separate individual human being, we all obviously know this, but it seems to be further lost in translation throughout society. We recognise ourselves as being complex, multi-layered and full of so many different interests, loves, hates and traits but when it comes to other people, especially ones who we do not know; it gets completely thrown out the door. Why is it that we seem to have no connection to the feelings and emotions of people who we have never met before? Why does it come so easy for us to drive hatred and anger towards these people who we have only heard about but never actually met? How can we have such strong feelings about certain people or certain groups without ever interacting with them? When did we start to see people outside of our own life as vessels without feelings, emotions or any kind of purpose? We treat others like they will not react to what we say, we don’t seem to realise that they are just the same as us; if had this same hatred towards us we would be broken and so upset. How did we become so disconnected to people that we think our own words and actions will not hurt them anymore? At what point did we choose to dehumanise certain people? How can we group many people into a specific stereotype without knowing anything about them? How have we come to presume what we do about people with no prior knowledge? We need to stop judging people, stop putting our own hurtful opinion towards them just because we can, we need to step back and realise that these people have hearts, emotions and feelings just like we do. Nobody deserves to be treated like they are less of a human just because other humans have not come to terms that people go through the same things as them. How are we ever going to progress as a species if we somehow cannot realise that we severely affect and change the lives of people with our own actions? Hate destroys people and in this society we give it out in such huge amounts to anyone we slightly feel different towards, how have we forced ourselves to forget that in their own life, they are also struggling? If inside our head things are constantly going crazy, our head spinning, we are confused, we don’t really know what we are doing or where we are at, we are scared, feel worthless and feel purposeless then why would that not be any different for any other person? Each person is their own person, they have their own life and they have their own struggles, we are all just trying to get through the best we can and all people are so different. We can never categorise any person with another, we are all in our own separate group by ourselves as that is how individual, original and special we all are. We have similarities but there is no blanket group that can be put over any of us. We need to start treating every single person as an individual and realise how badly hate can hurt and instead we need to spread love to people, give them support and help every person with things that they are struggling with. We are all struggling and no person needs anger towards them just because you think you can and you don’t think it will impact them at all. Be wary of your actions and hold yourself responsible for how you make others feel as you would never want the same in return.

[acollectionofdifferentthings]

The teacher’s teacher.

Even the best listeners also need the best listeners. It is about being able to create and contribute to this circle of reflection through communication and processing with other people who can be here to listen, to support and to help us delve deeper into our own emotions and feelings on these subjects that we are usually struggling to get our head around. There has to be outlets for all people to be able to use and utilise because no one person can absorb it all and just keep it all inside without it impacting them in such negative ways at some point throughout their life. We may tell ourselves that we can take it all in, that we can just keep listening to all people, taking in what is going on with them, what is bothering them, be gracious in all situations and we can convince ourselves that we are different to the rest and that we can deal with it but nobody is above the effect that these feelings carry with them. There is nothing to prove to yourself or to anyone else, you do not have to carry a greater burden than other people just because you are you and you can actually share that load, you do not have to let it weaken you and turn you sour because of the constant pressure that it applies. It is no measure of strength when you compare with people how much you are holding inside and how great the pressure is with what you are dealing with, you are not creating a viable path or being a role model, you are just putting more energy and power into the ticking time bomb and waiting for it to explode. Being able to create this flowing circle inside of your life and inside of other people’s means that sharing, letting out and letting go just becomes so much easier, more natural and more comfortable for everyone involved. It creates a space where you can actually let your guide down and admit to yourself that your strength is measured in how open and transparent you can be with yourself and to others instead of how well you can hide and shroud what you are dealing with as if it is something that doesn’t hold you back or bring you down. Just because something does not bother you when you are not thinking about it, it doesn’t actually mean that you have gotten through the problem, don’t let that be an indicator to you that it does not bother you at all because you are more than likely avoiding the problem rather than addressing it. It is about finding people who can mentor you, who you feel happy to confide in and realise that you don’t always need some sort of guidance, advice or feedback in how you are feeling and what choices you should be making or not making. Often many of us just need someone who can listen as we do the same for many other people, someone who can soak up the atmosphere that we are giving to them and then let us soak up what they are giving back to help us into a better frame of mind and grateful for the time spent just unwinding. This circle of life is a continuous mentorship from person to person, it is working on ourselves just as much as we are working on each other because all people deserve to have others around them who are there for them when they need it and especially when they think they do not; because sometimes that is when you are the most vulnerable. You do not always need to have your guard up or have to maintain this constant armour that you have conditioned to be impenetrable from the inside and out, you can learn to be open and have trust in other people as they have trust in you.