aconfessionsofanonlinedater
aconfessionsofanonlinedater
Confessions of an online dater
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aconfessionsofanonlinedater ¡ 8 years ago
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I French Kissed a French Man....
French contacted me about two weeks after my internet dating profile was up. His profile got me, he had lived in New York, Dubai, and numerous other countries. His profile said that he had travelled to over 80 countries and had plans to travel to more. He was 33 years old, cute, had a postgraduate degree and was a buisness owner. He pictures were amazing too, He had a picture of himself in scuba diving gear  under the ocean with a shark swimming over him, a picture of him BASE jumping off a cliffe, amoung numerous others. AND he had built his empire and was looking for that special someone to setlle down.... "must have a sense of adventure" I replied to his request with an internet dating kiss x  
We messaged for a while - he said how nervous he was to send the first email as he was new to the site himself. I was amazed as I am a scuba diver and solo skydiver - licensed in both. He told me all about BASE jumping and how nothing compared. The emails and conversations flowed- to and from. For the first time in ages I felt CRUSHED... He then asked me for my number.
Instanly the text messaging started, even in text form French was amazing- he was always out at dinners, he had BBQ's on Sunday with Friends and red wine- just like I did. We connected in so many ways. We planned a date a week away- for the next week he text and couldnt wait to meet me. We arranged dinner at my favourite Tepanyaki Resturant.
French arrived at the restaurant before I did- he text asking if I wanted red or white. And ALAS he looked just like his pictures and the accent was very endearing to say the least. He ordered the most expensive set meal on the menu- in all my years of going to this restaurant I had never tried it. Before the food arrived he looked at my face sqinted and wiped something off my face- oh my god- how embarassing. He asked about my daughter, her name, where she was- amazing- being a single mum can be a bit hit a miss in the dating world at times.
We both discussed our nerves and he managed to put me at ease. He reached out and touched me and I leaned into him. From that moment on the wine and the conversation flowed. When the bill arrived he payed for the meal instantly- I didnt even get a chance to offer. We were having such a good date we decided to continue with cocktails at a nearby cute cuban cafe.
I told French about my dream of getting my motor bike licence- the first thing he did when he arrived in Australia was book in to get his Australia motorbike license. He even had my dream bike - a Ducati
He shared his childhood- he grew up very poor in Madagaska and said he didnt have electricity until he was 12, he shared a story about his first plane trip back to France to see his Grandparents which was so overwhelming for him, he had to fly back. And look at him now- just wow.
At the end of the date he walked me to the train station and we kissed- it was a movie kiss. They way he touch me - to die for. Very proud of myself I gently pushed him away turned and walked- dont look back Sarah, dont look back. And I didnt....
Instantly I got a text message from French!!
Another joyous week with French, he continued to text and call as I slide down walls fantasising about my new perfect date and got swept off my feet most days. I thanked my lucky stars and knew my fortune was changing. Date two was arranged the following weekend. I don’t usually go back to men’s houses so soon. However, French wanted to cook for me and was preparing a five course meal that no mere mortal could say no too.
  On the day of date two, French text that he had spent the whole morning in the kitchen and would be there all day. I prepared for my date with anticipation and the great night ahead. Later that night, I arrived at his unit in a up market area in the main part of Sydney to a unit overlooking the harbour, he met me with a kiss and took me into his place.  He gave me a tour of his well designed, clean and immaculate unit, discussing the changes he had personally made to the apartment since he bought it many years ago. He only quickly skimmed past his home office as he said he was currently up grading. He collected antiques and took pride in the stories he told of his collectables. His favourite of his collection,  a bike from the 1800’s that was mounted onto his wall.
  We drank expensive champagne and he showered me with compliments. He said he couldn’t wait to serve his selection of sashimi  - wait a minute, why would someone be in the kitchen all day to make a selection of raw fish!! As quickly as the words of doubt entered my mind, I justified that there were other courses and to stop doubting, I deserved this. French then grabbed my hand and said to come to the roof top and look at the stars. When we got to the roof top, there were two lay down lounge chairs and some throw rugs to keep us warm. We lay gripping each others hands under the moonlight, staring at the stars and talking about our future.
  After a while we kissed, embraced and decided it was time for dinner.
  There was no entrée as discussed and he served a platter of delicious sashimi, the few glasses I had drank had made me a bit tipsy and I made the decision to stop drinking so I was safe to drive home later. French told stories of the excitement of base jumping and I spoke about my skydiving adventures. After dinner he turned on soft romantic music and brought out macarons -we halved every flavour rated them. That’s when things got heated, we kissed, moved in closer, pushed our clothed bodies together slowly, then more intensely. He ran his hands over my body, as I drew slow deep breaths, I wanted him. This man made me melt. Suddenly French stopped, removed his hand from me and stepped away from me. I was slightly stunned, grabbed his hands back, threw my body into his and started to kiss him… I wanted him.
  Despite how much I wanted him, I managed to stop, draw in some slow deep breaths and make the decision to leave. I gathered my things and we continued to kiss, throw each other up against the hall way walls edging slowly towards the door, kissing and touching each others bodies.  When I finally made it to the door, French stopped all physical contact, had a disappointed look on his face and shut the door on me immediately.
  That is when the fairy tale stopped.
  When I got home, I was confused. I picked up my phone and decided to get some answers. I remembered the macaron paper bag in the bin, and double checked his text message that said he was in the kitchen all day. I went through our interactions and decided to start googling. The first thing I googled was his address, and the property instantly came up in my search. My jaw dropped, he had not lived there for seven years, the property was up for rent six months ago …. And was rented fully furnished, including the “collectables” that he claimed were part of his antique collection. I went through the pictures of the exact same unit, I had just been in and recalled the stories of design, collection and renovations.
  I decided I needed to know more. I went onto his facebook page and took the base jumping picture from Switzerland that had also appeared on his dating profile and placed it into reverse google, and low and behold the picture was of some famous and well documented base jumpers and was not my former French. Unable to sleep, I googled, stalked and uncovered each lie that I had been fed. I found his father via his friends list, he was not dead and all. It slowly become apparent that he had lied about everything. I even found a wife or former wife back in France. The final google search took some digging as his name search didn’t produce much straight away, however after going further back from the original, my so called business owner came up as working at a well known hotel near where his rental unit was. In disbelief I searched further links with new words and details to avoid the coincidence  of someone with the same name and me making a mistake. Then I stumbled upon the hotels newsletter with a picture of my former French, he was not a business owner at all, he was in low level management in the hotel- basically a glorified concierge. I stared blankly at the online pages in disbelief.  That’s when my eyes were drawn to the link of chefs specials for the hotel, and todays was none other than sashimi platters!!!! That night I went to sleep with a heavy chest in a shocked state.
 At work the following day, I was talking to a male co-worker about my dating disaster and he made a comment about the players handbook, I had never heard of this before. So once again I started researching. I was truly amazed by how much ‘player’ information there is and more specifically the players hand book. Basically the players handbook is a guide for men to get laid, in layman terms it tells men to lie and lie and lie. It gives examples of some great lies to tell and how to pull them off. It also has some “proven techniques” with catchy names. One of the first player tricks is to disarm the bait on first meet such as pretending they have food on their face to embarrass them and put them on the back foot, while being sweet enough to remove the foreign matter that doesn’t exist while setting up physical contact,  just like Former French did to me that first night at the tepenyaki restaurant. Other suggestions included touching the targets arms  and if she leans forward this is a sign she is hooked, however if she moves back or flinches then the handbook advises to leave instantly as the target is a waste of time and players don’t waste time- I had moved closer. The book talks about creating a fake soul mate connection and how this is done, and includes a section on internet dating. It turns out his profile (the base jumping and trimmings) were aimed to target mine and the fake connections that followed, so I would literally fall into bed with him under the guise of fate and destiny.
One of the most famous advances according to the player guide is what is called the Freeze move, this move seals the deal for players. The book advised when things are getting hot and heavy to suddenly and quickly stop all contact so the woman naturally reacts by chasing the mans affection (throwing her body at his, putting his hands back on her body etc etc) this then ends the women’s internal struggle of yes or no- just like the night in Former Frenches apartment -if it was even his rental. I had been played. I decided to call the lying prick and confront him on his lies and actions, I picked up the phone and dialled his number. He denied and denied and lied and lied and then turned everything back on me, just as the infamous text describes. There was no happy ending or prince, in fact I had kissed a toad.
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aconfessionsofanonlinedater ¡ 8 years ago
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Over three years later...
It's time to get serious about this blog as my experiences of online dating have continued. And to be frank, my tales are too good not to share with the world. I am now 36, not so slim (but not chubby) and now have brunette hair ... I left a relationship last April and picked up online dating again. Once again the crazy, awful, hilarious and slightly strange world of online dating has embraced me with open arms...
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aconfessionsofanonlinedater ¡ 12 years ago
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Confessions Of An Online Dater
My dating life, has been and continues to be a series of interesting, bizare, comical, sad, outrageous and damn right funny dates. As a result of this I have decided to start a blog. My name is Sarah, I am 33 years old. I am a professional who lives in Sydney Australia, I am slim, with blonde hair and blue eyes. I have two children in tow. Its time to share my stories that have long had my friends in hysterics.... And so begins my "Confessions Of An Online Dater".....
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