activistvictor-blog

[activistvictor-blog]

As Zephyr and Drizella got home, Zephyr opened the front door and was immediately greeted by his adoptive mother, a tall old hag with gray hair and wearing a crimson dress. Honestly, despite being with her for some time now, he still had no idea what her first name was, in fact he didn’t think anyone else, even Drizella, knew either! As such, he simply referred to her as Lady Tremaine. In her arms was the family cat Lucifer, with hair as black as night above, and a gray face and stomach. “Oh, Drizella and ….. Zephyr.” Lady Tremaine commented to Zephyr, "Is school done already?”

“Yep,” Drizella replied, “Zephyr here insulted my singing on the way home by the way.”

“Snitch!” Zephyr angrily quipped before Lady Tremaine cut him off.

“Zephyr, what have I told you about being rude to your sister?” Lady Tremaine said.

“But she star…” Zephyr tried to inteject.

“Hold your tongue!” Lady Tremaine snapped, before composing herself again, continuing to pet Lucifer all the while. “It seems we have too much time on our hands do we, time enough to act rude to your sister.”

“Hey, now wait just a!” Zephyr again tried to interject before being cut off again.

“Silence!” Lady Tremaine snapped at him before again composing herself. “Well, since you clearly need something to occupy your time…”

“Let me guess, you’re going to make me work in the family cleaning business!” Zephyr said.

“Oh…. How did you know about that when I didn’t tell you? Eavesdropping are we?” Lady Tremaine said.

“No, Drizella told me. And speaking of, I have a bone to pick with you about that!” Zephyr angrily replied.

“Oh do you?” Lady Tremaine said, intrigued by his defiance.

“Yes I do! When were you going to tell me you were drafting me into your business THIS WEEKEND and expecting me to dedicate most of the rest of my summer to it!?” Zephyr said.

“Oh I was about to tell you now, before Drizella so kindly informed me of your behavior, so because of that.” Lady Tremaine said before she was cut off.

“And what exactly is your reasoning for waiting until NOW to tell me something this important and life encompassing?” Zephyr angrily said.

“Well, perhaps it’s because I KNEW you’d throw a fit like this!” Lady Tremaine said.

“Throwing a fit?” Zephyr said getting even angrier.

“Yep, like a great big manchild!” Drizella clapped at him.

“Quiet you! Zephyr said angrily, before turning back to address his stepmother. “I hardly see being mad about someone making huge life decisions on my behalf without my prior consent as ‘throwing a fit!’ I dare say that response is quite reasonable to be pissed about.”

“And I dare say that because of your attitude, both with me and Drizella, both before and right now, you will be doing this work unpaid as an internship!” Lady Tremaine said.

“Unpaid!?” Zephyr said incredulous, “You expect me to work for NO PAY during MY summer!?”

“Yes, because otherwise you’d just sleep in all day!” Lady Tremaine said. “Not to mention you CLEARLY need some discipline!”

“IT’S SUMMER!” Zephyr said angrily, “AND I do NOT need discipline! I passed ALL my classes this summer with flying colors! And what’s wrong with sleeping in? It’s better than doing fucking drugs!”

“Zephyr, don’t you dare swear in this house!” Lady Tremaine said.

“I don’t wanna make waves or anything but he also said moron earlier too…” Drizella chimed in.

“Shut up you fucking tattletale!” Zephyr said.

“Zephyr, I’m warning you! You’re acting like an embarrassment!” Lady Tremaine said getting angrier.

“And how about when she referred to Fluttershy as Cindershy on the way home, what about that behavior? Is that ok?” Zephyr said angrily.

“Now I’m sure she was just poking a little fun at you, family does to one another after all.” Lady Tremaine said.

“Family? Ha’ You aren’t my family!” Zephyr said. “Never once since I’ve been here have I felt welcome or that you had my back, not to mention, everyone, even Lucifer the cat, hates me!”

“Now Zephyr, Lucifer doesn’t hate you…” Lady Tremaine said holding him out to Zephyr, but Lucifer promptly responded by hissed at him.

“Oh really, and is that supposed to just be his way of saying hello?!” Zephyr said.

“He’s just upset because he had his bath earlier, which by the way, you owe me for doing that for you, maybe with some overtime to your internship.” Lady Tremaine said, causing Zephyr to get near his breaking point.

“For the record, even if he doesn’t hate you I do!” Drizella said chiming, before she quickly ducked to dodge the shoe Zephyr had thrown at her in uncontrollable rage at her horrible comment.

“Zephyr, that’s it, get the fuck out of this house with your freak show shit and don’t come back until you can act sane!” Lady Tremaine screamed.

“Or just don’t come back at all you psycho!” Drizella said.

“Honestly, it’s no wonder you always complain about not having any friends! Who would want to be around someone that acts this way!?” Lady Tremaine said maliciously.

“And how!” Drizella chimed in.

Zephyr wanted to say a lot of things, how unfair it was that Drizella was once again getting off scot free after instigating, how wrong it was for them to spring such a time consuming commitment on him, or how tired he was of being treated this way for example. Instead however, he just walked out the door and left, the thoughts were starting again, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could control them if he stayed.

[activistvictor-blog]

The final bell of the last day of summer school rang in Canterlot High, and in response, a crowd of teens stormed out the front door, eager to finally get on with a proper summer. Among the countless teens running out of the building and no doubt violating jaywalking laws were two siblings, a tall lanky male with yellow hair and green skin, and his sister, a white skinned teen with black hair and a blue bow atop her head. I could go more into detail about both of their appearances, but neither you or I will likely remember in a chapter  anyway so whatever.

“Oh thank GOD that’s all over,” the taller one said. “I haven’t slept well in WEEKS with how early they expected us to get here! And I’m atheist so you KNOW it’s serious if I’m thanking something I don’t personally believe in!”

“Well Zephyr,  if you got to bed on time…” his sister replied with a snarky attitude.

“Oh chill out will you Drizella, what do you expect me to do? Go to sleep at 9 pm in July?” Zephyr replied. “It isn’t even fully dark yet then at this time of year. Secondly, you know how hard a time I have sleeping after a midday siesta!”

“Only loser’s take siestas you realize…” Drizella replied.

“Yeah well you try getting up at 6:30 am for classes every day when you’re a night person and see how you handle it!”

“I DID get up at 6:30…” Drizella replied snarling.

“Yeah and you’re a morning person so it’s easy for you.” Zephyr replied. “And regardless, it’s SUMMER, the one time a year when you don’t, or at least shouldn’t, have to get up super early and can just sleep in. There’s a reason they call it summer VACATION after all.”

“You would like vacations you lazy bum!” Drizella said.

“Oh come on, I passed all my classes!” Zephyr said, “I mean sure I sleep in the middle of the day sometimes after them, but it’s not like I’m doing it through classes or anything. Ain’t nothing wrong with sleeping differently as others as long as you do what you need to while you’re awake!” His sister just responded by rolling her eyes, something he noticed. “Oh come on! Are you really telling me you’d rather be in school than spending time with your cat Lucifer?

“Well considering I bring Lucifer to school every day in my backpack I don’t see the relevance!” Drizella replied. 

“Oh come on, not the backpack smuggling thing again?” Zephyr said angrily, “I told you, that can’t be good for a cat to trap them in a dark backpack all day! You gotta let that cat out of the bag for goodness sake!”

“Oh, and you’re such an animal expert?” She replied annoyed.

“No, but it’s just…” Zephyr replied but was cut off.

“Hmm, then I don’t really know why you think you know better than me on this!” Drizella replied condescendingly. “Quite frankly I don’t think you know better than me on ANYTHING!”

“Rude much” Zephyr said.

“Cope and seethe!” Drizella said.

“You sound just like those insufferable morons on TF2 and Reddit.” Zephyr said angrily.

“Well I wouldn’t know because unlike you I’m not a loser who frequents them like you are!” Drizella said. “Honestly, and I can’t believe I’m saying this due to how annoying it is when you always talk about it, but why don’t you go back to your stupid useless hobbies instead of trying to school me on animal care?”

“Hey, my hobbies aren’t useless!” Zephyr replied.

“You think you’re going to be a professional poker player…. Tell me how that isn’t useless again?” Drizella said chuckling to herself 

“Hey, I won 50 bucks online last month!” Zephyr replied, “And that’s just playing for the few hours a week I feel awake enough to actually do well!”

“Oh please, like you’d ever be good enough to be pro… at any of that stupid shit you obsess over!” Drizella sneered. 

“Ok, you know what, that’s it!” Zephyr replied back. “If we’re going to talk about not being good enough to go pro, maybe we should talk about your singing…”

“And what’s wrong with my singing?” Drizella said glaring at him. “I’ll have you know I’m actually taking lessons and making progress unlike you Mr. I think winning fifty bucks is impressive!”

“Oh that’s not what I’ve heard.” Zephyr replied.

“And what did you hear then!?” Drizella replied smugly.

“I heard things….” Zephyr replied imitating Robert DeNiro” I heard things! Things that make 

Chewbacca sound like the New York symphony orchestra! Coming from your pie hole!” 

“…. Are you saying my singing sucks!?!” Drizella said angrily.

“Well I ain’t saying you’re Taylor Swift.” Zephyr replied back.

“How DARE you talk to me this way!?” Drizella said. 

“Oh come on, YOU started it!” Zephyr said angrily. “I’m being no more rude than you were insulting my passions, how do you like being at the receiving end of it?”

“That’s different, you’re being unrealistic!” Drizella said. 

“How is it different?” Zephyr replied angrily. “Being rude is being rude, end of story!”

“Not if you’re being realistic, sounds like you just can’t handle me!” Drizella replied

“Oh whatever, I’ll show you!” Zephyr said. “I have the rest of July and part of August to myself now, and I guarantee I’ll make a hundred on online during that time easy!”

“Ok Mr. Gambler, Wanna bet on it?” Drizella said.

“Yes, I actually do!” Zephyr said, “If I’m right you have to give me another hundred and can’t constantly put me down about my passions every time I bring them up. You have to actually support me on them, for once.”

“And if I’m right you have to give me a hundred and can’t bother me about those annoying passions of yours anymore and admit to the internet my singing is amazing.” Drizella said.

“Deal….. I’ll take that money in twenties by the first week in August thank you!” Zephyr said. 

“Oh no you wo-on’t” Drizella mocked.

“Oh yes I wi-ill!” Zephyrs pushed back. 

“Well good luck, since I doubt you’ll have enough time to even play soon enough!” Drizella responded.

Zephyr chuckled to himself, “Are you serious? I have an entire month of free time starting now, not having enough time…. LOL…. what the hell are you smoking because I want some of that shit!”

“Oh….. you mean you don’t know?” Drizella said.

“What’s there to know?” Zephyr said. “Summer school is over and normal school doesn’t start until late August.  Seems like a month of nearly free time to sleep in and be well focused to me!”

“Well I just assumed mom and Sludge had told you,” Drizella said amused.

“Told me what exactly!? Zephyr said, suddenly getting a bit concerned. 

“Well, since you would likely just spend the rest of the summer lounging about and sleeping in like a deadbeat as they put it, our parents have so generously decided you’re old enough to help out with the house cleaning business” Drizella said. “They’ve been needing the extra help for awhile ever since Cindershy went away to college and all!”

“WHAT?” Zephyr said incredulous. “Surely you must be joking? And here name is Fluttershy not cindershy.”

“Oh I’m dead serious…. About both Cindershy and the cleaning business…. And don’t call me Shirley.” Drizella said before chuckling at her reference.

“This is hardly time to be making jokes from movies Drizella!” Zephyr said angrily. “When the heck is this supposed job going to start?”

“You actually start this weekend, at ten AM, which is why I’m so shocked they haven’t told you!” Drizella replied feigning shock. .

“What!? No!  My summer….” Zephyr said angrily. “I’ve already given them through July! Now they expect the rest of it too!? I’m already running on fumes here as is!”

“Oh boy here we go again, the woe is me I’m at my wits’ end speech!” Drizella said annoyed.

“Stop mocking me and my mental health, this is serious!?” Zephyr said, getting increasingly stressed. “I’m tired as can be and NEED the rest of this summer. And how about how unfair it is to just spring a commitment like this on my at the last minute without discussing it first. You can’t just do this to me!”

“I’m not doing anything, our parents are!” Drizella said. “But hey, if you wanna talk to them about it feel free to when we get home.”

“Oh I will….” Zephyr said. “They are not hijacking my life like this again…”

[activistvictor-blog]

Pinkie Pie rolled up to Applejack’s house in her trademark partymobile, before stepping out, walking up to the door and ringing the doorbell. As Applejack opened the door for her, she greeted her and said “We’ll AJ I made it, despite your directions!”

“Uh, how could you have gotten lost Pinkie?” Applejack replied, “Ya’ll have been over here like 20 times this year alone, we’re in a band together and use my barn to practice, remember? Not to mention with your Pinkie sense you actually told ME where my distant aunt’s house who I’d never visited was!”

“I know, I know!” Pinkie replied, “but I had to say it because it’s in the script!”

“…. The what now?” Applejack replied confused.

“Yeah, the script for the meme steamed hams!” Pinkie replied excitedly.

“Uh huh,” Applejack acknowledged, knowing better than to try and understand Pinkie’s tangents. “Whatever, regardless though, glad ya’ll are here, let’s get to the grub!”

“No no no! You’re supposed to call it an unforgettable luncheon!” Pinkie replied mildly annoyed.

“But it won’t be unforgettable Pinkie!” Applejack replied, “Ya just came over and ate the same thing last week!”

“But the scriiiiiiipt….” Pinkie replied.

“Alright alright, ah how yer prepared for an unforgettable luncheon” Applejack replied rolling her eyes, and muttering under her breath about how pointless the semantics were. She entered the kitchen as Pinkie sat down, and was immediately greeted by the awful sight of smoke coming out of the oven. “Oh e’gods! Mah roast is ruined!” Applejack said with shock, before she looked out the window and noticed the mobile Krustyburger hamburger stand parked at the nearby carrot farm, likely for a party, (which surprisingly Pinkie wasn’t hosting for some reason.)

“Krustyburger!?” Applejack replied confused, “Ah thought that only existed in some animated TV show… Nevermind though, that might be the solution to this issue! What if ah were to purchase fast food!” Before she chuckled to herself. “Delightfully devilish Applejack” she remarked to herself, before commenting to herself again “Devilish? Ah never say devilish, almost like some force prompted me to say it like in a script…” before she shook her said and said “Oh Celestia, Pinkie’s getting to me.”, before she took off the apron she had been wearing and attempted to step out of the window to go to the nearby stand. However, just at that moment, Pinkie entered the room.

“Uh” she replied, before lowering her eyes into a glare, while still keeping her smile somehow.

Before Applejack could respond however, a title sequence came out of nowhere and some random chorus began to sing to accompany it. “Applejack with her crazy explanations! Piiiiinkamena’s gonna need her medication (like it’d have any effect). When she hears AJ’s lame exaggerations there’ll be trouble in Canterlot tonight, er in today!”

“Apppppplejack!” Pinkie shouted both in the title sequence and in real life.”

“What the hell was that!?” Applejack replied. “Is equestrian magic comin’ out from the portal again?”

“Oh no silly!” Pinkie replied, it’s normal for that to happen in this meme!”

“Meme?” Applejack replied confused. “Uh, ya’ll realize that this is real life right? This is as far from a meme as you can get!”

“You mean the same real life that has literal magic and actual unicorns and pegasi in an alternate dimension?” Pinkie replied smugly.

“Touché” Applejack replied. “Anyway ah gotta step out for a minute, mah roast is ruined so ah’m gonna go buy us some fast food so we actually dhave something to eat!”

“No no no!” Pinkie replied, “you’re not supposed to tell me that! You’re supposed to lie!”

“Lie?!” Applejack said offended. “Ah’m the element of honesty, why would ah lie! In fact I’m kind of offended ya’ll would even suggest ah’m supposed to!”

“But that’s how the script goes!” Pinkie replied annoyed. “You’re supposed to claim that your attempt to go out of the window is just isometric exercise, then ask me to join you, I’m supposed to ignore the question and ask you why smoke’s coming out of your oven, you’re supposed to stutter then claim it’s steam from the steamed clams we’re having, then go ‘Mmm steamed clams!’, then I leave the room unsatisfied with your answer! It’s all in the script!”

“But that makes no sense, why would AH ever lie!?” Applejack replied angrily. “No script based on my story worth any literary value would ever have me do that! And if ah was cast in a pre-existing script in a role where someone lied, that would just be bad casting.” Immediately after concluding that tirade, Applejack and Pinkie slowly turned to face out of the paper at the person writing this, before turning back to face each other. “Anyway,” Applejack continued, ah’m just gonna go get the food if that’s ok with you!”

“Suit yourself I guess,” Pinkie replied, before she left the room, and Applejack promptly stepped out the window and ran to the nearby Krustyburger stand to an ascending musical tone, which she heard but couldn’t explain, (and honestly at this point didn’t really want to try and do so.)

*************************************

Shortly after, Applejack re-entered the dining room and as the door closed behind her she said “Pinkie Pie ah hope you’re ready for mouthwatering hamburgers!”

“I thought we were having steamed hams!” Pinkie replies matter of fact.

“Steamed hams?” Applejack replied, confused again.

“That’s what you’re supposed to call hamburgers to lie to me!” Pinkie replied excitedly.

“Steamed hams? That’s what ah’m supposed to call hamburgers?!” Applejack replied doubtfully.

“Uh huh, it’s a regional expression” Pinkie replied.

“What region?” Applejack inquired.

“Uhhhh, upstate Neigh York” Pinkie answered.

“Really?” Applejack said doubtfully, “We’ll ah’m from Ponyville and ah’ve never heard anybody use the phrase ‘steamed hams’!”

“Oh no silly not in Ponyville it’s a Cloudsdale expression.” Pinkie replied.

“Ah see!” Applejack said, before a sudden feeling of unease fell across her. “Why do ah get the feeling we just did something exactly the opposite of how it was intended?”

“Maybe because you were supposed to explain what steamed hams are to me and not me to you! It’s all in the script after all.” Pinkie replied.

“Oh no not this script again!?” Applejack said.

“Yep, though I do suppose the delivery got out anyway so I guess we can just move on with the meme.” Pinkie said, before she picked up a burger and said “You know these hamburgers are cooked quite similar to the ones they have at Krustyburger.”

“Well ah did tell you ah was gonna buy fast food so…” Applejack said.

“No damnit, you’re supposed to say it’s a patented AJ burger, old family recipe.” Pinkie said.

“For steamed hams?” Applejack said narrowing her eyes.

“Yes!” Pinkie replied.

“And ah’m supposed to call them steamed hams despite the fact that they’re obviously grilled!?” Applejack said, taking the bun off and showing her the patty. “Explain how the script justifies that!”

“Uh, you know…. One thing I should….” Pinkie said, struggling to explain to Applejack. ‘You know, that is a legitimate question. I’m going to need some time to think.”

“You do that, meanwhile, excuse me for one second” Applejack said standing up and moving towards the kitchen.

“Of course” Pinkie Pie said as Applejack went to the kitchen, before coming back out worried. “Pinkie Pie, the house is in FIRE!” She said.

“No Applejack it’s just the northern lights?! That’s what you’re supposed to tell me!” Pinkie said.

“No ah mean really we need to get the hell outta... “ Applejack said before she processed what Pinkie just said. “Did you just say Aurora Borealis!?@

“Yep!” Pinkie said smiling.

Ah’m supposed to tell you it’s Aurora Borealis!! At this time of year at this time of day in this part of Equestria, LOCALIZED entirely within mah kitchen!” Applejack said getting increasingly loud and irritated.

“Yes!” Pinkie said. “It’s in the script after all!”

“…… may ah see the script?” Applejack asked curiously.

“………. No!” Pinkie said.

“Ugh, well anyway, might be time to see you off, ah do got a fire to deal with….” Applejack said.

“Uh yeah shouldn’t you get on that NOW” Pinkie said concerned.

“Eh, mah barn’s been destroyed HOW many times over the years, and it’s always fine the next day, why should this be any different?” Applejack said.

“Okie dokie Loki” Pinkie replied, before both of them stepped outside.

As Pinkie prepared to leave, she turned to Applejack and said “Well Applejack you are an odd missus”

“Look who’s talking…” Applejack replied.

“But I must say, you steam a good ham!” Pinkie said before she turned to leave, and Applejack rushed back inside to call the fire department.

A single frame of a fire engine rushing to the scene then played as the camera cut to black.

[activistvictor-blog]

Kevin the villain assistant from Dorkly is hired to assist nightmare moon with her evil plan. And by assist, I mean literally tear about everything about it due to logical inconsistencies.

“Mwah hahaha,” nightmare moon laughed maliciously. “Finally, the thousand years of waiting are over, and we shall enact my master plan to rule equestria and bring eternal night!” Suddenly however, her monologue and malicious laughter were stopped by a splash of water to the face by her newly hired villain assistant, Kevin. “Kevin, what in the Tartarus was that!? We shall teach you better than to mess with.” But Kevin cut her off mid tirade.

“Oh yeah, I’m a big and scary alicorn of the night using the royal Canterlot voice to intimidate people and show how angry I am blah blah BLAH !.”

Kevin cynically replied, “I’ve heard it all before, so if you are willing to cut through the horse apples, I’d like to have a chat with you about your good old master plan!”

“Ah, so you wish to stroke our ego about the greatness of our plan 1000 years in the making?” Nightmare moon boasted, “Well then we might just be willing to look past that little splash!”

“Oh ho no, I wasn’t here to congratulate your plan, I’m here to tell you how much it FUCKING SUCKS!” Kevin replied angrily.

“What, our plan sucking? How dare thou !?” Nightmare moon angrily clapped back. “We have worked for a thousand years in exile to make sure it is absolutely foalproof! I challenge thou to find one single flaw with it infidel!”

“Oh yeah? Well I challenge myself to NOT find a flaw in EVERY part of it!” Kevin retorted! “For starters, your plan to do grand reveal as soon as you’re free! I mean really, your first order of business after being gone a thousand years is to just launch yourself at everyone in the middle of the festival to announce your return by yourself? What the hell kind of stupid idea is that!?”

“Stupid? Ha!” Nightmare moon angrily replied. “I must instill fear in my new subjects and let them know who their new ruler will be! The best way to do that is to announce my arrival and show my powers in spectacular fashion!”

“Oh it’s the best way to do SOMETHING alright! The best way to get your ASS…. er um FLANK kicked!” Kevin snapped back. “For one thing they HOPELESSLY outnumber you. What if one of them is a sly dog and catches you monologing as a chance to sneak behind you and strike you with a blunt object?”

“It will take more than blunt objects to stop…” Nightmare Moon clapped back before Kevin cut her off again.

“Or how about if they shoot you with a GUN!” Kevin replied, “Which in case you weren’t aware, is basically a device that can propel a lethal projectile at you faster than you could EVER hope to dodge or stop it. It’s literally a device made for killing, and for all you know that entire room could have those on them! The town you’re planning to do that in IS a country town after all!”

“A gun? Surely no such device could EVER exist?” Nightmare moon replied.

“Oh and this is coming from someone who lives in a world where ACTUAL magic exists!?” Kevin said. “If you can use magic to raise the sun and create force fields and whatnot, then I certainly think such a weapon, or at the very least a lethal spell which can avada kedavra your ass, is within the realm of possibility, and dare I say even LIKELY given how long you’ve been absent. And that applies to your sister the literal goddess Celestia and her guards as well. “

“But then how are we to take control if we cannot stop Celestia?” Nightmare Moon said, “I cannot rule while Celestia does!”

“I agree.” Kevin replied. “Which is why you need to go about it differently. The way I see it, you’ve been gone been so long you probably have long since faded from public mind, so why not use that to your advantage and sneak under the radar, Celestia is so busy handling politics and raising the sun and moon in your absence she probably won’t even remember the exact date until we’ll after it’s passed if she does at all! And even if she does remember, you can literally SHAPESHIFT! Become another pony like you did with that Shadowbolts plan demonstration you did last week! Or better yet, just transform into some nameless nobody no one will notice suddenly came into being and bide your time while you learn about new technologies, spells, snd geopolitical rivalries and how you can use those to your advantage when you do choose to strike! Heck, maybe you could even take a more proactive approach while your st it and infiltrate the government and bring it down from the inside without ever having to fight like Neighdolf Hitler!”

“Preposterous!” Nightmare replied,” “Neighdolf Hitler has an army backing him up, and no pony would ever actually want to aid me in bringing everlasting night!”

“Oh I think you overestimate the intelligence of the general public quite heavily” Kevin replied. “There’s LITERALLY an entire group of people where I come from who think the planet they live is flat.”

“Wait…. You’re kidding right ?” Nightmare Moon said aghast.

“Nope, you can’t make this shit up”” Kevin replied. “And there’s an even larger population of idiots around than just them. Did you know a fair number of people in a fandom about friendship based on your show seem to get a sick enjoyment in others’ misery and have missed all the morals it’s supposed to teach…. Especially on fanfic sites! Or that half of my entire country literally voted for a fascist a few years ago and got him elected despite him CLEARLY outing himself as horrible and saying things directly counting their own best interests? Actually, speaking of which, I actually have an appointment with him coming up next.” Kevin said, before he shook his head realizing he went on a tangent.

“Point is though” Kevin continued, “There’s always someone, er um somePONY, who will follow you if you look hard enough and know what to say, which slipping under the radar and NOT immediately exposing yourself in some stupid grand reveal gives you plenty of time to learn and enact on countless palookas looking for someone to follow and who you can throw under the bus if the plan fails while you escape and try again. Sure it might take a few years to do it, but what’s that compared to the thousand you were imprisoned for? If you’re gonna get revenge may as well do it right I say!”

“Ah…. I see, we thank thou Kevin for the valuable insight, we shall now go and engage in your master plan and use it to bring eternal night and rule Equestria.” Nightmare moon said, before Kevin splashed her again. “Grrrr! I swear to Celestia, soon to be myself, if you do that to us again…”

“Uh, no! You will not be bringing eternal night when you take over because that is the stupidest idea EVER!” Kevin snapped at her ignoring her threat.

“But we must show our might to the land and make others know how powerful we are in their everyday lives just by going outside.” Nightmare moon replied angrily. “And since the grand reveal instilling fear is out that is all we have left!”

“Look, I do respect the desire to be respected…. Something I never was from my two ex wives, but that is a HORRIBLE way to go about it!” Kevin replied. “You do realize you need sun to do some minor teeny weenie SUPER IMPORTANT things like, oh I don’t know, grow crops, make clouds for pegasi to shake rain from due to heat causing convection, or get sufficient vitamin D for example! If you take away the sun, you’ll be looking at a wasteland in ten years if you’re lucky! And how are you going to be respected if everyone who could do so is DEAD!? Assuming of course they don’t just French Revolution you and ffoverthrow you before that point and kill you instead. Let them eat moon cake as it were!”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nightmare Moon replied.

“Oh yeah, forgot, alternate dimension! Doesn’t really make knowing French history all that easy.” Kevin mused, “The point is, don’t take away the sun, you’ll actually kill everyone and likely yourself due to starvation, drought, vitamin deficiency or an angry mob, and even if you don’t die for some reason, you’ll just be ruling a wasteland by yourself with NO ONE to respect you! No, what you do is use the sun as leverage! Demand the citizens follow you OR you don’t raise the sun. That will give them plenty of motivation to not try anything funny, because it’s not like they have the magical ability raise the sun if you’re out of the picture! So that leaves them two choices, either they overthrow you anyway and doom themselves to a slow painful death, or do your bidding for their own sakes, and if they’re anything like the people where I come from, when faced with an existential threats they will most certainly do the latter!”

“That…. Could be a potential solution too..” Nightmare Moon said.

“Uh huh” Kevin replied smugly. “But anyway, I gotta go, if I’m late to my next appointment he’ll grab me by the pussy! But before I go, is there is one thing I want to ask. Why are you so vehement about the night being a staple anyway? Like I know your whole schtick is night time so I could understand some desire, but you have an obsession so I’m thinking that isn’t the only reason is it?”

“Um….. you won’t judge us will you?” Nightmare Moon said.

“I’ve worked with people who LITERALLY snapped half of all living things into oblivion and who tried to kill a baby, there is NOTHING you can say which will faze me at this point.”

“Um….. we may or may not enjoy nighttime donkey shows” Nightmare said sheepishly.

“Aaaaand I stand corrected…..” Kevin said, “On the plus side though, at least you’ll fit right in with the sexually frustrated teens and spiteful miserable manchildren on the website I mentioned earlier!”

[activistvictor-blog]

This blog is meant to give bully victims and bullies themselves a place to speak out about the problems they face in the hopes that they can subsequently be addressed and resolved. if you have a problem you’d like to talk about, please post it here and I will see if I can’t try and help you with it. Just one note though, while you don’t have to agree with everythign that is said here,  if you harass, cruelly belittle, or bully someone who posts here, you will be blocked immediately. THis is intended to be a safe environment.