actualbethesda - Tumblr blog

[actualbethesda]

Hey gamers

Don’t you wanna preorder our games? 

They work, I promise. 

Down here, they all work.

[actualbethesda]

Coming March 2017

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim ported to the Nintendo Switch

Coming 2023 

The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim Remastered ported to the Nintendo Switch

[actualbethesda]

Hello there everyone! It’s me, Shigeru Miyamoto! I hope you all enjoyed the reveal of our brand new system; The Nintendo Switch. As you may have noticed in the trailer, we are also pleased to unveil that Skyrim: Special Edition will be on the system at launch. I urge you all to pre-order this remastered-masterpiece by Todd Howard.

Please buy his game. Thank you.

[actualbethesda]

EMPLOYEE MEMO

no matter how intrigued you are, do NOT approach the bigfoot in the breakroom. it's marcus in a halloween costume and he'll just ask you if you want to go behind the arby's down the street to get your dick sucked. again, the bigfoot in the breakroom is NOT ACTUALLY BIGFOOT and is marcus in a halloween costume

[actualbethesda]

Recently-unretired Actual Bethesda employee Flandre here, reporting from the parking lot of Actual Bethesda Headquarters in Rockville, Maryland as an office fire is currently causing hundreds of thousands of dollars in property damage. 

On my first day of returning to work, Mr. Todd Howard burst into my office and began violently throwing office supplies at me. He proceeded to grab a Glade aerosol can off my desk and used it in conjunction with a cheap plastic Hello Kitty lighter to set fire to my computer. As I tried to stop him he hissed at me through gritted teeth and a creme-filled doughnut stuffed in his mouth, presumably stolen from the break room. After setting off the fire alarm and forcing most of the employees to evacuate the building, he dove through a six-story window and escaped into the nearby trees. 

I’m happy to be working here again. 

[actualbethesda]

Everybody needs Todd Howard in a teletubby costume holding a shotgun on their blog.

[actualbethesda]

shhhit. they know

game theory: todd howard and jon arbuckle are the same person

[actualbethesda]

War....War Never Changes™

in Fallout: New Wisconsin, war will actually change

[actualbethesda]

my man, my dude, my guy....it's all part of our illuminati conspiracy it will all make sense in time

bethesda? hey, bethesda. you know the whole Dead Wife running theme you seem to got goin on in fallout 4? yeah id just like to let u know it stops being sad or effective once you have EIGHT FUCKING CHARACTERS whose quests/ backstories revolve around women dying, bethesda. BETHESDA.

[actualbethesda]

[actualbethesda]

so SOMEBODY possibly named TODD HOWARD just took all the doughnuts in the breakroom

[actualbethesda]

OHHHH BOIIIIII

Boi

[actualbethesda]

yo when's skyrim 2 coming out lad

when harambe is ressurected

[actualbethesda]

lad it ain't that deep

sorry bout no mods on ps4 lads but we really just fucking hate playstation here at bethesda

[actualbethesda]

bethesda hq

bethesda guy: got any great fresh ideas todd todd howard: lets make a new fallout but we remove all of the good lore and storytelling and roleplaying that made new vegas good and replace it with flaccid mechanics and slightly better shooting bethesda guy: hehe pew pew pew i like guns todd howard: it just works bhethesda guy *nodding*: it just works todd howard: it just works bfesda guy: just ow kr s  todd howard: *disintegrating* bhf g: r todd howard: b : todd h ;

[actualbethesda]

sorry bout no mods on ps4 lads but we really just fucking hate playstation here at bethesda

[actualbethesda]

noah fence because i remember i liked y'alls blog... but i wasn't following you for a Long time and now you're on my dash? how did this happen? i didn't know your blog still existed?

to be honest i have no idea what happened. one day it sort of just dissapeared and would randomly glitch and come back but now it's back for real??