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growing up I always wanted to be poorly understood by science

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this ai generated origami tutorial is sending me

I don't know what's funnier, the complete nonsense folds or the fact that one step is just. pair of scissors. famously not used in origami.

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“The Australian outback is dangerous and uninhabitable” nah, skill issue

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If you’re using Skype you should dump it and get Discord instead!

Pros:

Cleaner, easier to navigate interface

Free servers for more permanent group chat things (way easier to hop in and out of chats)

You can actually have different nicknames on each server if you want

Is actually well built and doesn’t make your computer yearn for death

Stuff coming down the pipeline soon according to devs:

Video chat

Linux client

Cons:

All your friends aren’t on it

But you can change that

Download it. It’s great and it’s only getting better. It’s aimed at gamers but it has nearly all the functionality of Skype and then some.

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I lost my wallet. It is in my apartment

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You can tell how hungry for blood the tumblr userbase is this year by looking at how early in the month the Ides of March posts are being made

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some of studies i'm doing. digital ones were done on my phone. i like drawing peopleeee. ummm idk what i'm doing tbh. used a bunch of refs to help me out.

tumblr dont take this down it's just artistic nudity ok.

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she asked me "why are you white" well you see, parry the platapus, it all started when my parents gave me a get-more-purple gene-

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Trends on other social media sites:

Try this new dance challenge! Post your glow-up! Get Ready With Me!

Trends on Tumblr:

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I think what makes the slur song really work is it starts off with the expected list, and then instead of ramping up slowly it just goes immediately for "ass-bandit."

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I spent a lot of time handcuffed and in a cage in high school, for a charity bit the grocery store I worked at would do

the bit was that I was "put in jail for having too big a heart" and customers could donate to my bail to get me out (and the money would go to a children's hospital or something)

now. I was very clearly a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a large cage. and I would honestly tell people that I had been in there for hours. and people would say, that's terrible! that's awful! and I would show them my wrists red from the tight handcuffs, and say but I'm sooooooo close to making bail.

and then they would dump some cash in the basket, I'd thank them, and they'd walk away.

and every so often, one of the managers would come by and collect some of the cash, so I could keep being soooooo close to making bail.

I was very good with this bit. Parents with small kids would pay $5-10 if I told their children I had been placed in jail for not cleaning my room/doing my homework, etc. For people in their 20s, I'd threaten that I was very bad at playing the harmonica, but I WOULD play it and we'd all suffer unless they paid me. and for the most amount of money, older men in suits would almost always pay $20s if I avoided eye contact and stammered a lot.

eventually, the managers started to feel bad because I was in the cage so fucking long and often, that I'd need someone to brace me when I got out because I'd have no feeling in my legs. wobbling like a newborn giraffe.

but I would also rake in at LEAST $100 an hour in charity.

so they were like, hey champ. can we, uh, give you a pillow to sit on. in the cage. would you like a pillow so you're not just sitting on a cold metal slab. can we give you a pillow.

and I had to explain to them that if they gave me a pillow, people would think I was more comfortable, so they wouldn't feel as bad, so I'd bring in less money.

the compromise was that they'd bring me a nice coffee every couple hours, which I would have to try to block with my body from the customers.

all this money went to charity. that's what the money was for. it's what was on the sign. but how much they were willing to pay was very contingent on how comfortable I looked, never mind the fact that I was still a teenaged employee handcuffed inside a cage.

and out of the dozens of shifts I did this on, not ONCE did ANYONE say, hey kid I'm going to go talk to your manager because what the fuck is going on here. they would just drop money in the basket, and I'd thank them and sip from my secret drink.

I actually had people get MAD at me that I told them I was far away from bail, they donated like $15, and then 20 minutes I got let out because my shift ended.

again. the money was for charity. it was on the sign that was very clearly placed on the upper half of my cage.

so yeah. even when people think they mean well. people can be really, really fucking stupid.

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hey does anyone wanna do the funniest thing ever

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mer are you... are you okay

im studying engineering

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I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

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how it feels to wash your hair and brush your teeth and have clean clothes on

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"likes mean nothing on tumblr" you're sending me a little heart. that's not nothing it's your heart. look here's one for you <3