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my celebrity crushes range from “I find this person attractive” to “I will now watch every dumpster fire of a movie they have ever appeared in for even five seconds” with very little in between….

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Here’s what I hope happens in the last season of Game of Thrones

Sandor, Jaime and Bronn team up and easily defeat the Night’s King during the first episode. They finally become the acclaimed heroes they were destined to be.

Afterwards Jaime returns to King’s Landing. He strangles his sister with his golden hand and takes the Iron Throne, then he marries Brienne of Tarth, who replaces the Iron Throne with a much more comfortable chair, because she is a sensible woman. They rule over the Southern Kingdoms of Westeros peacefully for the rest of their natural lives.

Sandor finds himself in Winterfell, where he is reunited with Sansa, his little bird. They get married and rule over the Northern Kingdoms of Westeros peacefully for the rest of their natural lives.

Bronn is given Casterly Rock as a reward for saving the world, mainly because no one else wants the bloody place. He goes bankrupt in less than a year and decides to start over somewhere else. He travels to the Basilisk Isles and marries a beautiful princess. And then another one, because bigamy is perfectly lawful there. He dies of syphilis at age 55.

Lyanna Mormont conquers the lands beyond the Wall and becomes Queen of the Far Northern Kingdoms. She doesn’t marry. She’s too badass for that.

Khal Drogo comes back from the dead, massacres Jon Snow/Targaryen with his pinkie finger and claims his moon-and-stars back. They conquer all of Essos together and abolish slavery everywhere. They posthumously become gods.

Ser Jorah Mormont marries Samwell Tarly’s widowed mother, because he’s finally come to terms with the fact that he’s thrice older than Dany and it just never will work between them. Especially now that Drogo is back.

Samwell becomes Grand Maester of the Citadel in less than a year and allows women to study at the Citadel. He also allows maesters worldwide to marry and beget children. He then marries Gilly.

After giving birth to her fourth child, Gilly decides to transcribe all the lore she has in her possession regarding the legends and customs of the Wildlings of the North and becomes an acclaimed author.

The Wildlings, meanwhile, are offered permanent citizenship in Westeros, in whichever kingdom they choose. They are subsequently no longer known as ‘Wildlings’, but as ‘people’, a major improvement in their opinion.

Parts of the Wall were destroyed during the war and were never rebuilt. The rest was kept in state, as a souvenir, a reminder of what once was. People notice, however, that the Wall is slowly melting. That is likely due to global warming.

Ghost and Nymeria (respectively Jon’s and Arya’s direwolves) are reunited and decide that, if the Targaryens and Lannisters can interbreed, why shouldn’t they? Ensues a litter of mentally challenged little direwolves. But that’s ok, because they’re vegetarians. They’re pretty much harmless.

Drogon the big ass dragon sniffs out a few more dragon eggs and proceeds to repopulate the world with its kind. But that’s ok, because they’re vegetarians, too.

Arya marries Jaqen H’ghar and they become the first vigilantes in Westeros and Essos. They rid the world of villains and all sorts of scum.

The ground opens under Qyburn’s feet and he lands in the Seventh Pit of Hell. He marries Cersei, who happens to live in the neighbourhood. They burn painfully ever after.

Ser Robert (Did you know he was really the Mountain? Did you?), as a loyal zombie, is lost without his master and doesn’t know what to do with himself. He eventually decides to become a decorative suit of armour in the Throne Room. That is, until Brienne notices the stench and has him incinerated. Jaime forwards his remains to Sandor with a complimentary note. Sandor curses a lot when he gets the package.

Stranger (the horse, not the god) is finally allowed to retire. His back is permanently damaged from carrying such a heavy man for most of his life, but that’s ok, because now he only has to carry his master’s children around the courtyard, and they’re much lighter.

Ser Davos finally goes home to his wife and remaining children and spends the rest of his life growing onions in his backyard.

Ed Sheeran founds the first Bards College in Westeros. His most likely pupil is Aemon Steelsong, Mance Rayder’s son, who was raised by Sam and Gilly. He later becomes the most acclaimed bard of his age.

The Sea God swallows up the Iron Islands because he’s tired of the local population’s bullshit. The world soon forgets those cunts ever existed and is happier for it.

Melisandre, ironically, burns to death. As she settles in her new quarters, in the same neighbourhood as Qyburn and Cersei, she finds out that the Red God never existed. She was delusional all along. Who’d have thought?

Aegon Targaryen (should he make an appearance) never makes a claim on any throne and becomes a pirate instead. He keeps his hair dyed his entire life. Usually blue.

Tormund Giantsbane is heartbroken when Brienne marries Jaime. He marries a giantess instead, which is close enough.

And finally, Varys produces Tysha, Tyrion’s first wife and first love, from somewhere in his pockets, and they live happily ever after in a winery. Then Varys rules over the whole wide world for decades without anyone ever realising it.

The world knows peace, which is really all The Spider ever wanted.

***

Now, here’s what will likely happen instead: The Night’s King takes over the world, the Long Night comes and never goes, all of my favourite characters die a horrific death and I cry and shout at the TV screen. And then it’s over, thanks for watching, you can obsess over something else now.

But then I remember that it’s not really over, and I patiently wait for the Winds of Winter to come out. Any day now.

***

It’s the year 2078. George RR Martin died decades ago, but my faith never wavered. I know in my heart that the editor’s grandchildren will find the manuscripts of books 6 and 7 at some point, because I’m convinced that George secretly finished them around 2010, but thought it would be fun to hide them, to drive his editor and fans crazy. Then he died and forgot to mention it in his testament. But they’ll be found.

Any day now.

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Still my favorite story from the Lord of the Rings set: Viggo Mortensen bonded so much with the horse he rode in the movies that after filming was over he bought it from its owner. If that doesn’t warm your heart I don’t know what could.

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Me: tries to go to sleep

My brain:

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i encourage every writer who can to pick a small fandom or a rare pair (or a rare pair in a small fandom!) to write for tbh. you won't get as much attention for it, yeah, but what you do get really feels special and there's something nice about being the big fish in a small pond.

Honestly? Rare pare shippers and people who love minor characters will love you so much for giving them content. It’s nice to feel needed, but also it’s just nice to give people a little present like that which they wouldn’t normally receive. I put myself in their place and think about how sad I’d be if my faves only had 15 fics and I’ve read them all. 

Go forth, my lovely writers and fanartists! Give the rare pair shippers some joy :)

-Mod Pi

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Untitled by ezook

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Somebody finally said it.

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I think all writers need a friend who will encourage their desire to write absolute garbage. Not necessarily something that is badly written, but like, stupid self indulgent bullshit. “Cringey” aus or crossover fanfics. Aus or crossover fics of your own ocs. 

Writing that stuff is fun and is great practice, but sometimes I feel like “wow, this is hardly productive, why am I even writing this, who else would ever want to read this?” The answer is your friend who encourages your trash writing, that’s who. Write it for yourself and for them.

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Ocean Collection Wire Pendants

Ursula Jewelry on Etsy

See our #Etsy or #Jewelry tags

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This.

I feel like kind of an asshole for not updating in a while, but I'm having one of those periods where I don't really want to do anything. TBH, I didn't consider the fact that I might have regular readers when I first started posting. LOL.

That said, seeing AO3 alerts is the highlight of my week. ❤

This is always the best email in my inbox when it arrives.

Thank you to the commenters! You make my day!

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Anakin’s proud of his grandson following his footsteps

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There is a writer, I love every work she has written so far and I comment or leave kudos every chapter/work that she had published. Is that too much? I'm feeling like a stalker.

Odds are you are now that author’s favourite reader and they have you specifically in mind when they write because they’re looking forward to your reaction to it :D

At least, that’s how it goes for me.

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Fanfiction isn’t written for you, it’s shared with you.